“Lately it seems as though victory hasn't exactly been in my grasp.”
Fade in. On the relatively messy streets of his home city, Moncton, New Brunswick we find Blade Alexander. Outfitted in tight fitting track pants with a light grey jacket and yellow hat the SCW star stands on the sidewalk. Behind him a short distance down the street is an intersection busy with mid-afternoon traffic.
“At least as far as SCW is concerned. By now you'd have to go back to before my match with Jordan Williams. It seems like it's been that long. Sinful Obsession twice, Spike, Rage. All matches I wanted almost nothing to do with, aside from making Spike bleed, and all I've come up short in.”
He's breathing deeper than normal, his hands on his hips. If you were to keep track, this is usually the time of day when Blade runs his circuit through the city, rain or shine, regardless of the season. It's that dedication that has established him as a threat to any title and one of the best conditioned wrestlers in all of the NWA.
“At first I didn't think much of it, but the week before last after losing to Thatcher Rex it's starting to wear on me.”
He looks up at the camera and smirks.
“Don't get me wrong, I'm not discrediting Thatcher. Sure I faced Trent Shannahan earlier in the day, sure I jumped on a flight to I'd make Climax Control live that night, but that doesn't diminish the fact that Thatcher is one of the best guys on all the SCW roster right now. How else could you possibly explain the two of us stealing the show?”
“But that was then, and now all of the problems I've been having in the then are starting to pile up. Some might even say with the extra promotions I've begun involving myself with in the NWA have started to spread me too thin, but I say different. When a blade is at it's thinnest it becomes it's sharpest.”
The wind picks up blowing wickedly down the long street and the cameraman struggles to keep his footing on the wet icy sidewalk.
“Hard to keep up isn't it. Adversity breed success. It's why I train like this. While you have other guys out there in SCW who would rather hang out with friends and develop their social skills more than their ability I'm here every day finding new ways to push myself. You have people who brag and rest on all their past laurels to find current success and popularity, but I'm not hungry for the success, I'm hungry for the fight. Still, feels pretty good to win one every once in a while.”
“And you want to talk about success, talk about Lucian Frost. This mysterious masked man who came out of nowhere to team with Kain and become the new SCW Tag Champions. Take a look at this guy's promo work and you see a guy who's not obsessed with what he's done or where else he's been, but with holding onto those tag titles and building a legacy.”
“I respect that, but then he says he's got a lot to live up to. Really Frost? You just playing the nice guy or is that how you really feel? You want to build something, then you do it right. Sinful Obsession were a team that held those titles for so long by virtue of having some idiots who didn't care about tag team wrestling pick their opponents for them. How else would you describe the numerous shots I got and never ever had the same partner. I was vocal about my disdain for meaningless titles so Christian Underwood of all people thought that it would teach me some kind of lesson if he paired me up with whoever wasn't booked that week for a shot at something I didn't want.”
“How else could you explain how a team like you, Blood Omen, on your first day out with no history together and no chemistry in the ring were able to upset such a long running championship team? It wasn't that you were so great. It wasn't that you were the second coming of the Road Warriors. You won by virtue of being there when the champs had gotten so cocky and full of themselves. They thought they had it made simply by lack of challengers.”
“Oh but wait... There's just one little tiny, microscopic little tiny detail that unravels the whole little fantasy that you and Kain have been waiving about your big gold belts in. You didn't actually ever beat the Tag Team Champions did you? You got those belts by virtue of a rule loophole that allowed you to beat the Young Stallions and gain the titles. Then you retained them by beating that same team. You haven't beaten Sinful Obsession for them. In fact, in the time you haven't been beating them, they've become busy winning an even bigger prize. The NWA World Tag Team Championship.”
“Oh.... so close!”
He smirks that cocky trademark evil grin.
“But just when you thought you were on top all of your efforts were marginalized by the very team you claim to have knocked off.”
“But enough about them. Let's get right down to the business Frost. Let's get right down and personal between you and me.”
“I don't like you Frost. No surprise there right?”
“It's not that I don't respect you as a performer. You're good. You've got talent, you've just got no brains to back it up. Why else would you knock away a helping hand. After all, why exactly did you turn down that guy who wanted to manage you? Pride? Envy? If you were smarter you'd see how he could have helped you out with the lack of success on and NWA level thing. You take it in stride, but a guy like that in your corner could leverage you, the SCW Tag Champions in the NWA against the team who you claim to have knocked off for your titles. Would make you seem like worthy contenders right?”
“Or are you ashamed of that Frost? Shame does seem to play a pivotal role in your life.”
“You're ashamed you won you titles by beating someone who wasn't the reigning champions. You're ashamed of the success you could gain by pure exploit. You should be ashamed you said no, and you should be ashamed that you got you ass handed to you because of your foolish pride. The greeks called it hubris Frost, you seem like your educated, you should know that.”
“But that big gold tell-tale heart isn't the only mark of shame you carry around with you is it? What about what your hiding? Your dirty little secret? Everyone in SCW claims they have secrets on everyone else and plans to expose them. Difference is Frost, everyone knows your secret. Don't worry though, I'm not planning to expose yours. I'm only here pointing out your shame.”
“Look at that mask of yours. It makes you the man of mystery you are doesn't it? And why? Why do you hide from your friends, your family? You wear that mask because you're plain ugly? Is it more marketable? No. It's because you're ashamed of your scars. Underneath that mask you're a scared wreck. Instead of undergoing plastic surgery, instead of wearing your scars proudly like the badge of honor the rest of us do, you hide yours like you're ashamed of them.”
“You hide your scars and your face from your friends and family and you put the blame on them, but you're not really ashamed of the scars, you're ashamed of yourself. You're a two time champion and a great wrestler, but you hide your face because when it comes right down to it you're a coward. You can't face what you are.”
“If I was as chickenshit as you I'd wear a mask too.”
“That's what makes me sick about you Frost. You cover up and hide, and why? So you've got some scar tissue, we all do. Maybe yours is worse than others, but so the fuck what. Your scars are only skin deep, but for all your self-conscious preening over them the scars you're leaving on the people that love you run much deeper and are much harder to forgive. Trust me on this buddy.”
“So let me ask you this. Man to man. The real question everyone wants to know. Fuck all your drama with Carlos and whatever he wants from you. The real question no one's ever thought to ask you Frost, is are you really ashamed of the scars on your face, or are you really hiding because you're ashamed you're a professional wrestler?”
“Are you ashamed that you're not as pretty as you once were or are you afraid to see your family because they didn't support your ambition to become a wrestler and now you don't want to face them, scarred beyond recognition now because you'll have to deal with the idea that they might have been right, that somewhere deep down for all your past, current, and future success that you feel, just like they told you that all your accomplishments don't make up for the sacrifice you made of your face?”
“Are you really that callow, Frost?”
“It's got to be one of those things. And trust me, even though you're good, even though you're successful, and even though I've been on a long losing streak here in SCW recently, someone like you will never, ever beat me.”
“Unlike you Frost, I'm fucking proud to be a pro wrestler! Unlike you I'm proud that I went out and did what I wanted to do and stood on my own two feet to become what I am for better or worse! I'm proud of every win and every loss I've ever had. I worked my ass off to do this, and every fucking scar that I bare on my body is a badge that I've earned. They are the lasting reminders of my hard work and sacrifice that I am proud of. I'm proud to see people cross the street to avoid me because they recognize who I am. I'm proud of every bit of garbage hurled my way when I'm standing in the ring because I've fucking followed my own path and there's no god damned shame in being who you are!”
“The fans may love you because of that mask, because of the air of mystery you create around you. They appreciate your work and the sacrifice that you make every night in front of them, but do you really think that love, do you really think respect lasts when everyone knows you hide your face from yourself because you're ashamed of what you've done? When you put that mask on Frost you made a conscious statement that all of the glory you've attained in the ring doesn't equal the price you paid to get it.”
“There are limitations, Frost. You've showed me yours. For all your hard work and effort, your vanity is your undoing. All of the injuries, all of the pain you've gone through, you've done it all but in the back of your mind resides regret. No wonder you need a manager. You think you've done just fine on your own, but you're held back. Until you get someone who can help you get past your own sense of shame or until you take off that mask and stop being embarrassed by the choices you've made then all the titles, all the glory, all of the accolades don't mean anything.”
“It must be hell to be you, Frost. Trapped inside a prison of your own design.”
“No matter how many times I lose I walk out with my head held high because this is what I want to do. This was all my own choice and I don't feel bad about that. But, no matter how you protest, no matter what you do, every day you live underneath that mask, underneath the secret identity you've created for yourself to cover up who you really are, for better or worse underneath. That's every day you've lost to me.”
“Tell me, Frost, how do you really think you could ever beat me? You can't even bare to see your own face. How could you come out on top? How could I ever let some one with so little conviction about who they are and how they decided to live their life beat me, someone so sure about themselves. I feel bad for you Frost, but no matter how low I get I've never sunk to your level.”
“Out of all the people I've come across Frost, there are those I respect like Casey or Thatcher, there are those I just plain hate like Misty or Spike, but you're very different from them all. Sure I'm disgusted by you. For all your success to have the lack of self-esteem you have for yourself? Come on. I actually feel a bit bad for you. I actually feel a bit of empathy for you. We all bare scars of some kind Frost. If you really want to be thought of as one of the greatest and not just some flash in the pan you need to get over it. Stop hiding who you are. Live with yourself and your choices.”
“Everyone else questions if you're ready to go physically, but that kind of pain is something we deal with daily in this business. I've seen your weakness Frost, it's just not what I was expecting. It's much worse. It's unfortunate for you. That's why I feel bad for you. The rest of SCW may have never really noticed and you could have gone on doing what you do, living the lie you live until you decided that you were done. But I've seen inside you Frost. I was surprised how remarkably easy it really was. I was surprised to see how deep your true wounds went, and that's what's so bad. Knowing that this Sunday I'm going to hand you the worst loss you've ever had because I was the first person in your career you've ever come across that saw you for who you are and didn't give a damn about you.”
“You needed someone who cared about you to see your faults Frost. You needed someone who could help and nurture you past them to turn them into strengths, but instead you got a surgeon. Someone aching for a win who had all the talents needed to take you apart piece by piece. Someone to open you up scar by scar no matter how deep they are and to bring about your utter ruin. Here lies Lucian Frost. The enigma. The riddle, once answered, that became nothing more than a myth. You're not a superstar to be feared and respected, you're just a man, hurt needing pity. But pity? I have none.”
Cut.
