Momento Mori
Scene One | Off-Camera | 7th February 2023
“Death terrifies me, you know? I don’t even know if it’s death. It’s the not knowing that truly terrifies me. That at the end of it all, everything will be nothing. Nothing will be everything, and I will be forgotten. That terrifies me, you know? That nobody will remember, Alexander Raven.”
Therapy was something that he had been avoiding for a while. He hadn’t been since he moved back to America. He’d gone almost weekly when he lived in Melbourne. After the death of Lauren, he’d needed the help. He needed help for a little of things. The childhood trauma, the abusive father, the passing of his mother. The death of Lauren. He was, as broken then as he was today. He just had improved at dealing with the pain and sorrow. But, with Luna coming back into his life. And a myriad of injuries that had built up over the years. Some thoughts had come crawling back. Fears that he had long buried, now clawing their way to the surface. Death, and a lost name, terrified him.
Children were never a legacy idea for Alex. He’d managed to get the snip rather young, a doctor who understood his lack of desire to have children. Lauren hadn’t wanted them either, so it was the easier decision. But legacy, legacy meant a lot to Alex. He didn’t wish to be forgotten. He didn’t wish to lose himself to the myriad abyss and darkness. He didn’t want his name to be cobbled together with his father. He’d knocked on death’s door a few times before. But mortality had recently become a fear for him again.
“It’s not like. I think there is something afterwards, you know? There has to be. When I die, my energy has to go somewhere, you know? Never created, never destroyed. Just transformed, changed. I have to create these ideas of something, because if there is nothing. Then what was the point?”
The scratch of pen on paper was infuriating. He’d always hated the note taking. The scratching never ceased. Probably because he never shut up. Talk, talk, talk. Ruminating on his thoughts, he never ceased talking. If there was one thing that the years of therapy had done for him. It was that they’d taught him to be okay with talking to strangers. In front of cameras, crowds, a new psychologist seating across from him, wondering how he got this absolute nutter in his chair babbling for hours on end. Self-doubt creeped at every corner of his soul, and yet he was more confident than half the world around him. Delusion, most likely.
“Now that Lu and James are back in my life. I feel… I feel the fear of my own mortality more, you know? They bring out the life and light in me, but the fear is that they’ll also lead me to the end. And that terrifies me more than anything. That in the end we’ll ruin each other. I’ve spent my life fearing for the danger of myself on others. Dead father, dead mother, dead wife. Nearly dead career, resurrected by sheer insufferable arrogance.”
“You blame yourself.”
His nose twitched. He looked up from the fiddling hands in his lap, to the psych sitting across from him. His eyes narrowing. Of course he blamed himself. Death followed him at every turn, of course he blamed himself for it all. How could he not blame himself?
“No. I don’t. I know it’s stupid. The brain runs away from you sometimes, you know?”
“Tell me more about Luna and James. They seem to be the focus of your discontent.”
“Lot of history there. We’ve been friends my whole life. Parents were friends with theirs. James and I, we trained together. Luna was a little younger. But a few years before I met Lauren, we gave it a go. It didn’t work out. She was… young. She didn’t know what she wanted. James and I stayed friends, always have been. Always will be. I love Jimmy, but Luna. Luna scares me. Luna scares me because I don’t know if I can lose her again. I loved that girl, deeply. And she broke me. I loved Lauren, deeply. And she died. I don’t blame her for that, I don’t blame anyone. Not anymore. But. I don’t want to lose anymore people. And death. Death is permanent. For me, and for them. I’m scared to love Luna again, because if she goes. I don’t know what I’ll do.”
The scratching again. Scratch, scratch, scratch. One of his hands gripped his own knee, the other up to his face. Scratching at this beard in time with the scratching of the pen. The sound of a book closing, the slap of hands on the arms of the chair.
“I’d like to see you again, Alex. We’re out of time for this week, but I think we’ve got a foundation to work from. I think it would benefit for you to talk about some of these fears, with Luna herself. I believe it could go a long way at helping you sort out these ideas. Who knows, you might even find yourselves with the same fears. From what I’ve heard, it seems the Luna of today is far different to the Luna of your past.”
Alex nodded, and threw a weak smile at the psychologist. He tapped his knees and stood up slowly, his body groaning under the strain. James had sent him the address for his new bar, and he’d head over there. He just knew Luna would be there still stuck in the depths of her own doubts and depression. She was a woman who often lost herself to the doubts she spent her days battling away.
“Thanks.”
Forgettable
Scene Two | On-Camera | 9th February 2023
A wrestling ring sits in a dingy low light warehouse. A series of weights machines and a few treadmills and bikes nearby. The ring seems to have seen its fair share of practice, looking far worse for wear than it should. Alexander Raven is sitting on the top rope in the far left turnbuckle. Bare chested, bruises dotting his chest, large spots of discolouration. His breathing slow and controlled.
“Battle scars line the warriors who do battle. Champions spend their days in varying levels of pain, trying to get by, weak to weak. Limbs hanging on by threads, bodies threatening to give. And yet, every time the bell rings, the champion, the king, rises once more. He steps to any opponent and does battle. He puts it all on the line to silence the naysayers and prove the disbelievers wrong. This is the way of the world. There will always be people that deny the truth that sits in front of them. And this week, I get to right a further wrong. I get to show the truth to a liar. I get to show the truth to the world. You see this place right here? This was my home. This was where I grew up, where I learnt to fight, to wrestle, to claw and bleed. This is where we spent our youth building ourselves to become the people we are today. There was no Wolfslair, or GO Gym for me. There was no specialised training or people that were willing to take a geeky nobody kid under their wing. Except for one. Alexander Remington took the geeky little Alexander Raven and made the decision to shape him. Made the decision to guide a lost lamb into the future. What he started here, took me to a place that I never would have thought possible. For me, this was the birth place of The One True King. This was the birth place of The Broken Messiah. And this is the birthplace of The Conspiracy. Raven, Vanity and Phenomenal. This was the beginning. The place where the broken found their way to a connected existence. So you’ll have to forgive me, when I say.”
“I don’t give a fuck about the Go Gym, I don’t give a fuck about Wolfslair. I don’t give a fuck about any of that. Because the truth is, no matter the framework. No matter the choices made. It doesn’t matter in the end. The only thing that matters, is if the bruising becomes a badge of honour. The only thing that matters is if you care enough to get up out of bed that day. The only thing that matters is if you step into the ring, and prove to the world that you are worth the blood that you have spilled to get to there. The only thing that matters is if you are willing to step to the plate and prove it all. So you’ll have to forgive me, if this week. I’m a little bit fucking miffed at that which has been placed before me. I’ve beaten Austin James Mercer. I’ve beaten Fenris. I’ve beaten the thorn in my side in Miles Kasey. I’ve got Ken Davison, the man who, and I mean no slight to Mac Bane, but the man who should still be our Worlds Champion right now. I’ve got Ken Davison with his eyes locked on what is becoming the most meaningful crown in this here city of sin. That being my Internet Championship. I’ve got the eyes of the world on me, and every fucking naysayer waiting for me to slip up. Waiting for me to stumble and fall, so they can say ‘I told you so’. Miles Kasey has claimed over and over, that Alexander Raven is nothing but smoke and mirrors. But Miles Kasey couldn’t put me down again. Fenris is out of action for the foreseeable future. And I want him to know. That when he is ready to go again. When he pulls himself out of his slump, gets good and healthy. I’ll be here, ready to go one more time. Ready to tie it off at head. But before all that. Before I get to focus on Ken, before I get to make sure Miles knows his fucking place, and before I offer Fenris an opportunity for redemption. I’ve got two little doves in front of me. I’ve got Team Go in front of me. Carter and Angelos.”
Alex slapped a quick rhythm out on the turnbuckle and jumped down. His hair was tied back in an extremely tight ponytail, pulling his forehead back a little. There was the same stiffness in his legs and hip that there had been the previous week. His face was set, his features filled a deeper frustration than normal. His brow furrowed. Bouncing light on his feet, he starts to throw punches. Shadow boxing the air in front of him.
“There seems to be this idea. That everything Alexander Raven does is foreign territory to him. This ideology of that past is irrelevant. So let me let you in on something Team Go. Let me tell you a truth. My first ever championship victory was Tag Team gold. The very first time that Alexander Remington and Alexander Raven, the AA meeting if you will. The very first time we tagged together, we took the Tag Team gold. First time, inexperienced and the two best in the company took the gold with ease. We went on to defend the gold, and I never lost those belts. I ended up defending the belts, solo, when I took Remington out. I started my career as a Tag Team Wrestler. I started my career as someone who could team with anyone and take the championship gold. I was the KING of Tag Team wrestling. So you’ll forgive me, if I don’t take kindly to the idea that Alexander Raven and Luna Vanity are the ones that are the underdogs here. You’ll forgive me if I don’t take kindly to the idea that The Conspiracy are the ones at risk here. Why, because Luna is inexperienced herself? There is no one I would trust more at my side, than Luna fucking Vanity. You can take that, seal it in gold and ship it to the bank, because it’s a certainty. It’s a certainty that when The Conspiracy walks into Climax Control, we will walk out having hushed the doubters. That Alexander Raven is not smoke and mirrors. That the words that fall from my mouth are more than just empty and idle words. I need you to understand this, Carter and Angelos. I need you to listen. Do me a favour, and actually listen to me for once, okay? Because I’m pretty fed up this week.”
“In what will be my One Hundred and Twenty Sixth day as Internet Champion, I’ve had my nose broken. I’ve had body beaten black and blue. I’ve taken big bumps and risks than I have in years. I’ve been thrown about like a ragdoll, and had people fly out of the damn sky to crush my body. And yet, despite that all. Despite the wounds that cover me, despite the stiffness in my hips and the bruises that dot my chest. Despite being less than 100%, I need you to understand this. Even on your best day, Carter. You are nothing but a fragment of me at my worst. Yet you have the audacity to comment on the state of my victory over Miles Kasey? I choked your little boy out. Got that? I wrapped my arm so tight around his tiny little neck and choked out the deluded little prick. That is him losing. That’s him losing to the nth degree. That’s me winning, and him failing to even remain conscious. Denial runs rampant through the wolves and those who echo their lies. You are nothing but a bitch to those wolves. A play-toy to keep them occupied and reinforce their filth filled lies. A perpetuator of the incest filled filth that permeates Sin City. You are the very thing I’ve spent the last year fighting against. The very thing I’ve spent my whole time here fighting against. I want you to listen to me very closely Carter. Because I chose to fight Fenris. I chose to silence the attitude and bravado of Miles Kasey. He didn’t deserve the opportunity I offered him last week, but I made the choice. Because I can’t have dissenters in my Kingdom. I can’t have those who think their special raising their voices to me. I can’t have people like yourself supporting the lies and misinformation and in turn spreading their own false allegations. The worst part, Carter? I know you’ve been watching. Of every single person, you seem to be the only one paying attention. Along came a queen, and with her ascent came the power of the people. The Kingdom flourished under her and everyone rejoiced. For the King had his peace, and with her hand in his, they lead the way forward. They shattered the Stained Glass Lies, and the rays of the golden truth finally pierced the world below. Though his kingdom sat high, all were welcome. For the only requirement in the Kingdom of The Conspiracy was the acknowledgement of the truth. That nobody is special. Nobody is above the other, but there is definitely those who live in a lower filth.”
With one last, more invested punch he came to a stop, his feet landing flat and hard on the canvas. His teeth grinding behind closed lips, his jaw rolling slightly beneath the skin. A few rapid sniffs and then a deep breath. His eyes closing, his left hand going up to his hair, pulling the ponytail free, allowing it to cascade around his shoulders and neck. He raises the other hand, waving his finger in the air slightly. Looking for a word, or an idea.
“You’ll forgive me, Carter. If I don’t appreciate the situation this week. Luna doesn’t need me invading her opportunities. Ariana Angelos should have gone one on one with Luna this week. That’s what should have happened. Instead, the powers that be, decided that Alexander Raven and Luna Vanity had to prove themselves against the team of friends. The power of Friendship will overcome and the truth will be revealed. Alexander Raven is nothing but a fraud, and Luna Vanity is the weakness that is plaguing him. But I want you to understand this, Carter. I want you to understand this Angelos. I intend to let everyone see the power of truth. The power of Vanity, the power of Self-Love. Luna will get her win. Luna will further taint the murky reality of the Bombshell Roulette Championship scene, and I will allow the hands of fate to guide her as she so sees fit to be. But I do not intend to sit back. I do not intend to allow people to continue to make fun of the hard work I’ve put in. I refuse to accept that people can continue to live in the denial of the reality that truly exists beyond the Stained Glass Lies. So listen to me, and listen well. Carter, an opportunity is given to me here. And I am a man to take my opportunities. Because you are intrinsically linked to all the Wolves that continue to be thorns in my side. Romantically with Miles. Friendship with Fenris. You are the link that I can use. Because in hurting you, I hurt them. And in hurting you, I can make a point. That Alexander Raven has no forgiveness for those who would question him. That Alexander Raven has no forgiveness for the disrespectful. And that Alexander Raven will hurt those that people love, if they refuse to acquiesce to the changes that are coming.”
“The changes, Carter, that will reveal the depravity of the core ideas of Sin City. That there will no longer be a power hold by the factions. The Saviours, the Wolves and their Echo Chamber, or the fucking Go Gym Graduates. There is no power in the history. There is no power in the protection of those who have only your back when it so suits. No, Carter. This week gives me the opportunity to focus you down. And make an example of you. I choked Miles out. I’ll choke you out too. I bled with King James. I’ll bleed with you too. I out smarted Fenris, and I’ll fucking outsmart you too. And in that, an example. I will hurt anyone who gets in the way of my designs for greatness. And I will be the The One True King, who uses the bones and flesh of all those who attempt to dethrone him.”
He steps forward slowly, leaning his arms on the top rope, crossing them over at the wrist. He leans his head forward slightly, looking down at the canvas beneath him. He stretches himself out, tapping the toes of of his left foot into the mat over and over. Slowly he looks up, eyes narrowed, full of the frustration.
“I haven’t forgotten about you, Ariana. The family of Angels. Messengers, the daughter of Hera and Zeus. The irony of my problems with the incestuous mixings of this business. And then to have the very example of Greek incest before me. I mean that metaphorically, of course. I wouldn’t infer that you parents were related. Though, from what I know, many people of that region have related parents. So maybe not far off the mark. But I digress. You, the plucky little upstart. The one who has stagnated at the Roulette division. Some would say that’s acceptable. I am not those people. Because there is a need in doing something with the lesser, to make it greater. I failed in that mission when I was Roulette Champion myself. I can acknowledge my failures. I can acknowledge my shortcomings. And in that, I can see those of others. You see, you failed to elevate the Roulette Championship. You failed to do anything with the opportunity given to you, and that, that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. You see, I’ve taken the Internet Championship and made it truly desirable again. And you’ll hear that from every person. King James talked about it. Talked about how I don’t know the significance. Miles tried to make a point about my failures, and belittle the work I’ve done. But the truth lies in the reality, doesn’t it Angelos? Former World Champions fall at my feet, failing to dethrone Alexander Raven. Ken Davison, has shifted his gaze back to the Internet Championship. He’s shifted it back, because I’ve made it mean something. I’ve made it worthwhile. I’ve elevated the Internet Championship to a level that makes it the ire of the lesser, and the goal of Kings. Former Kings will continue to collapse, and I will continue to melt down their broken crowns to build my throne. So I want to thank you, Angelos. Because the truth is this. You too, are a former monarch. A queen in her own right, with a kingdom half built. A faltering following, and a crowd of people that would love to see you fail. Just as I wish to see you fail.”
“But let, let you, in on a secret. As much as I hate the failings of the pathetic. The failings of those tasked with the goal of elevation. The failings of lessers. Luna hates it far more. And Luna is not someone to sit on her hands. Luna is not someone who will just allow the world to pass her by. No, when Luna wants something. She gets it. She’s dedicated. And you offer her the golden opportunity to redeem her failings. You offer her the silver lining that she needs. Because it becomes far more difficult to hold The Conspiracy back, if she can dethrone a former a monarch herself. If she can dethrone the number one contender for the crown. If she can get the visual victory over the faltering monarch of forgettable fate. So, whilst I have my own disdain for you. Whilst I have my disdain for Team Go. Luna. Luna will break you. And I will revel in watching her do it. And if she falters. I will be there to guide her. Because The Conspiracy allows none to fall behind. The Conspiracy has one goal. Success.”
A smile spreads across his face. His eyes softening. He holds his left hand up, and clicks his fingers. The lights begin to click off one by one. Leaving just one light casting a very vague dim glow over the ring. The night sky failing to pierce the dusty and dirty skylights. Alex’s face is mostly obscured by shadow now, his smile the only truly visible thing.
“Team Go. You’ve been put in an unfortunate position. The Conspiracy is here to prove ourselves. And in proving that, we find a semblance of happiness. In proving ourselves we find a path towards the greater truth. The Golden Rays of honesty and truth will begin to pierce the cracking Stained Glass Lies. Believe me when I say this. A change is on the horizon, and you Carter. You Angelos. You’ll be the witnesses to this. Because I am the King. The One True King, and Luna is the Queen. The Queen of The Conspiracy. And when the bell rings, and the final one tolls. I’ll send you back to your pretty little toys, in pieces. And you’ll understand what it means, to face up against ‘smoke and mirrors’.”
Laughter echoes around the room. A multitude of different voices and tenors. His smile fading, as he steps backwards into the darkness, leaving just a small dim spot of light. Another snap of fingers, and then.
Darkness.
Silence.
Nothing.
