[Alice Knight]

Carl's Diner
7:43pm

"She hit me with a freakin' chair, guy!"

"Let it go, Alice! She crushed my fingers in a damn piano cover!"

Alice and her pianist and friend, Ferguson are waiting for their meals at ol' Carl's Diner.




Alice: Why don't you cry about it. Oh wait, you already did.


Ferguson: Whatever...


Alice:  Yeah whatever the feck whatever is right. Why can't I vent my feelings about this Purple Royal ass bitch who attacked me? Correction, attacked us! That was my shining return moment. I did a whole musical number and everything. Then this horse hole screwed it all up. Hitting me with a damn chair...

Ferguson: Yes, but you gotta forget about that hiccup in your return to the ring in SCW. Plus i can't even use my fingers... and I ordered spaghetti! God has it in for me...

Ferguson begins weeping.


Alice: Here we go again with the crying... stop it. Stop it...


Ferguson:  I am... i am... just expressing my feelings...


Alice: Ugh... Royal Purple will get hers one day. Now i have to worry about my debut match against... Apples and Corn?

Ferguson: Apple Coren.  Not apples and corn. Do some research, Alice.

Alice: Yeah, and it sucks. I'm going to wrestle like shit too because of those chair shots from Purple.

Ferguson: So what you going to do? Any game plans?

Alice: Well I say we get shit faced drunk because I am all out of ideas... I do know that Royal Purple is on this  Climax Control show in Vegas next week. I could return the favor... smashing her face in with a ball bat... but that's kind of a dirty move. However, it is a dirty business.  Hmmm. All I know is I need a drink tonight. Before i plan any kind of revenge on Royal Purple or face the Apple in my return match up at SCW Climax Control. I. Gots. To. Get. My. Drink on...


Alice's phone rings. She rolls her eyes and smirks at Ferguson as if she is important and gets calls all the time. She doesn't.


"DAD?!"


Alice gets up from the table and walks towards the exit. She takes a deep breath before answering.


Alice:... Dad! Hi, dad!

Father Knight: Alice, my girl. How are you!?!


Alice: I am...


Father Knight: ... Fantastic! So I heard the fantastic news that you're working at SCW again. Bringing in those fat paychecks. Love it! Long story short, girl, I need to borrow a grand. 1k. A thousand dollars...


Alice: A thousand dollars? Who do you think i am, Kimberly Kardashian??


Father Knight: Oh! Oh! I see! Your poor old man wants to borrow a little money and my only daughter says to go fuck myself...


Alice: I didn't say that at all!


Father Knight: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see. She is a famous wrestler in one of the top companies and she tells her old man to die of ass cancer forever...


Alice: OKAYYY!!! I'll give you the money. Don't be an jerk. Tomorrow works for me. How about you? We can meet up, have a coffee and...

Father Knight: YOU'RE A DOLL, ALICE! I have a sports match to watch tonight anyway... but tomorrow sounds great. Love yeah Alice. As your fans say... HOOP!! HOOP!

Alice: It's actually HOOT and they... hello? Hello? Shit, he hung up on me...


Alice walks back into the diner and to her table where both meals are there. Ferguson's spaghetti and Alice's waffles. Ferguson using his damaged hands to pick at his plate of food and failing miserably .

Alice: Nerve of my father. Asking me for money. I guess that's how Christian Underwood felt when I was bummin' money off him... but he's a butt head too. Unlike my father, i will pay Christian back. Ugh.


Ferguson: I wonder if I use a straw, I can just suck up the noodles?


Alice: Talking to myself here...


Ferguson: Sorry... I am listening.


Alice: YEAH! Dad knows I have this contract with SCW and a huge return match against Apple Cream Corn next week... Ugh.  Let's go get drunk'd up. I can't think about important stuff right now.


Ferguson: What important stuff?


Alice begins mocking Ferguson.


Alice: "MUH, WHAT IMPORTANT STUFF, BLAUGH!" What you mean, Fergi? My life is important. SCW Return. A possible chance at getting a shot at the SCW Bombshell title eventually... Royal Purple and Apple Seeded Corn Beef. God, my dad bugging me for cash. I also will be participating in the GCWA Righteous Rumble... is that enough?


Ferguson: ... um, it have to be a BIG straw to suck up all the sauce and noodles...


Alice gives Ferguson a dirty look as the scene fades out...



CARL'S HOLE
9:37pm.

Alice and Ferguson enter the night club bobbing their heads to the music, which happens to be Erasure's 'Stop' currently playing. The club, mostly all males, dancing on the dance floor as Alice and Ferguson look around.


Alice: Wow, this place is "jammin' mon". I mean at all the sexy cute guys around, Ferguson...  Look around at this place, I am like the only woman in this jib-joint.  The ratio is truly in my favor, Fergi!


Ferguson: Yeeeeeah, Alice there's something off about this place...


Alice: Yeah me? I'm getting 'off' tonight that's what. What I am saying is I'm glad I shaved my legs alllll the way to the top because this may be my lucky night... am i right? A good ol' fashion one night stand with one of these cute guys will take my mind off all the shit in my life. My match with Apple Cider, Royal Purple being an ass face and of course my father bumming money off of me! ME! No! Tonight is all about fun.  And fun is my middle name...


Alice is approached by a 'flamboyant' man in a black mesh shirt and purple hair. Also wearing bright purple lipstick.

Guy: Look at you, Miss Thang, with your lips all shimmery! Is that MAC lip gloss? You-are-LIKE-TOTALLY-precious. You're friend is cute too! Have fun tonight girls!


He walks away as a the scruffy looking Ferguson looks concerned. Alice on the other hand is big eyed.


Alice: Wow, he is gorgeous. I bet a whole meat lovers pizza he isn't single though! Just my luck... and the purple hair is super hot on him.


Ferguson: What about the lipstick...? He was wearing lipstick.


Alice: It's 2020, Fergi. Boys wear what they want and so can us girls. Hell i used a jock strap as underwear once to the mall under my dress... Why? Because I can. That's why! 2020, dude. Deal with it. But that purple hair works on him, i bet that stupid Royal Purple would be jealous. "PLAY PURPLE RAIN!" she says. Bitch. I don't do requests...


Ferguson: Be calm, Alice. Remember we are here for fun...


Alice: You're right... no more moping...


Suddenly two guys in leather pants and vests begin dry grinding,Ferguson. Ferguson is repelled.


Alice: Wow this is like HEAVEN! Look at that stud muffin over there...


Alice approaches a man in a rainbow-striped half-shirt.


Alice: Ooh hey stud! I love your shirt. It’s so colorful.


Man : Rainbow power, sweetie!


He starts twerking to the song.


Alice: Ooh! Hey, where’d you get these moves? You're owning it, love.


Man: I’m a choreographer!


Alice begins dancing with him.


Alice: Ooh, I like that. I am Alice by the way... I was once a homeless bum who found success in the wrestling world... I am in SIN CITY WRESTLING... what's your name...?


Man: My name is Terri, love...


Alice. I me correct me if I’m wrong, but I think we’ve got some real chemistry going on here.


Man: Girl, you like for realz trippin’ right now!


He runs away into the crowd of male dancers.


Alice continues to dance.


Alice: Yeah, baby! Nice to meet you and...


Ferguson walks over to Alice who is now 'raising the roof'


Ferguson: Are you having fun? Maybe we should leave...


Alice: Oh my god, I might not meet Mr. Right, but I will definitely meet Mr. Right Now. I am going home tonight with a fella from here. I can feel it...


Alice points between her legs.



Alice: I can feel it in this area, Fergi. I'm gonna meet one of these hot guys... take him home... and then worry about Apple Fruit Punch or whatever her name is on Sunday... oh man... see that guy eyeing me at the bar. I'm gonna go say hi...


Man #1: I like so wanna renovate the whole house, and Chaz only wants to do the bedroom. Like... for realz...


Man #2: Well of course Chaz wants to do the bedroom. All he cares about is sex, sex, sex. And did I mention SEX. Ugh...


Alice: Ooh! Hey, where do I meet this Chaz guy? He sounds ready to par-tay-down! I am Alice by the way... pro wrestler for SCW. Kind of a big deal...


Man #1: Like, hello? Like what's your malfunction, girl!?


Alice: Talk dirty to me if you want... you can also punch me during intercourse if you want also. I don't mind...


Alice winks at them as they act all snooty and skip away. A large man in tight pants and glow in the dark tubes around his neck holding a small dig over his arms walks to the bar. He  orders another drink. Alice, still dancing to the beat, approaches him.


Alice: Hi... I am Alice...


Fat Man: Bad news, girl. They’re out of Merlot. And Shiraz. I’m gonna have to drink up some foolish pink slobbery wine for the rest of the night. Yeeee-YUCK!  OOOOH! I need a Cosmo.


Alice: Hi again... i am Alice. Alice Knight. You may have heard of me...


Fat Man: Hello, gorgeous.


Alice looks flattered and smiles back.


Alice: Oh, hi. What's the dogs name?


Fat Man: This little guy is Maria, oh and I love this look you’ve got going here sweetie. It’s like Taylor Swift meets like Rupauls Drag Race... so fabulous...


Ferguson walks up to Alice and the Fat man


Ferguson: They have a snack table here, Alice... These Vietnamese dumplings are pretty f'n good.


Alice: I think this big guy likes me. I mean I usually don't go for 'bigger' guys. But im not a huge fan of boney guys anyway... let's face it, bones are for dogs! Not a fan of hogs either though. A nice fit man in shape works best but he might do. Ha. Plus all those shiny rings on his fingers and not one of them is a wedding ring. BONUS!


Fat Man: Well I need to get back on the dance floor doll, toodles!


Alice:  Damn... He was cute, but you know that type – always carrying a dog around as a chick magnet. He could be a little TOO wild... but still, I should’ve gotten his number. But he seems like he could ALSO be a long term guy. I am in SCW. Traveling around the world soon... i can't be stuck with one guy. I think I need to take relationships slower. I got Apple Crunch this week on Climax Control. I need to beat her and move on. I do think the fat man dug me tho.




Ferguson: Alice, what are you talking about? I hate to break it to you friend But... but... but all of these guys are all gay!


Alice: If these guys are all gay, then what is my dad doing here?


Alice looks across the bar where she sees her father dressed in a leather S & M body suit, as he dances with another man.


Father Knight: Oh... Hi, Pumpkin! .... PUMPKIN!?!?!?


Alice looks confused as she looks around the club and sees various guys dancing together, making out and dry humping. Finally putting it together.


Alice: Dad??


Father Knight: Um... HOOT?


TO BE CONTINUED