Author Topic: The Ballad of the Blue Ball Special  (Read 302 times)

Offline Jamie Dean

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The Ballad of the Blue Ball Special
« on: May 03, 2024, 08:08:03 PM »
Jamie: I can honestly say that despite what I would call something of a nightmarish upbringing, I have been blessed in life. Or rather, I became blessed in life. Simply because I wasn’t satisfied with where I was in life and decided for myself that I was going to do something about it rather than wallow in a perpetual state of self pity. Granted, the road that I forged had a lot of detours and I guess you might say unorthodox routes, but I have never looked back on the choices I made in how I got here with regret.

Most men and women who decided that becoming a professional wrestler was their dream made the decision to find the best wrestling school taught by a credible wrestler. Me? As soon as I turned eighteen and moved out of Lima, Ohio to Los Angeles, I got hired on as a worker for Can-Am. What’s that you ask? ‘What is Can-Am?’ Well cover your children’s ears to all you parents out there because Can-Am is, quite simply, is a video production company that features oil wrestling, pro wrestling (sort of), bondage wrestling and – yes, sex wrestling. More often than not, if you ‘lost’ the match, you won out in the end. If you get my meaning?

Anyway, that was where I developed a taste for wrestling - pun intended, and I made a legit go of it. I was trained properly and the first place to take a chance on a former wrestling porn star was, you guessed it, Sin City Wrestling.


A most uncharacteristically shy Jamie Dean enters the dressing room shared by the male roster members who were not currently champions. He felt heads turn and eyes stare, a given if the rumors about locker room gossip were true. And evidently he would have been somewhat known before his official debut had even taken place.

Though he had little need for the butterflies to be showing, because one of the more prominent superstars on the roster, none other than his opponent for that evening, Ben Jordan himself, stood up from his assigned spot on the benches in front of his locker. Ben crossed the threshold of the locker room and offered up his hand in a welcoming gesture.

Ben: You Jamie?

To which Jamie nodded, somewhat at a loss for words until his scintillating wit took over and he was able to nod, accepting Ben’s hand for the good natured greeting.

Jamie: Yeah.

See? Scintillating! Ben smiled, recognizing the signs of a nervous rookie. He placed a company hand on the young man's shoulder and let him over to his assigned station, which conveniently was right beside his own. Ben had taken the initiative to keep the newcomer closed so he had at least one means of support in the locker room. At least until bell time that is!

02/23/2014 - San Francisco War Memorial
w/ Vixen v Ben Jordan and Song

Jamie had been advised by some of those responsible for his professional training that if he should find himself in trouble inside of the ring, grab a handful. It became a credo that made Jamie’s matches so entertaining, even when he wasn’t having a hard time (pun intended) against a specific someone. And considering who he was up against at his first time in the so-called rodeo, Jamie had no problems following through with his instructions. However, Ben Jordan quickly showcased he wasn’t just ‘someone’. And he wasn’t one for allowing himself to become the butt of someone’s mind games.

Jamie grabbed a handful - or two - during his time inside of the ring with Ben when the Bombshells Vixen and Song weren’t stealing the show. But the tactics that would have rattled any ordinary man had little to no effect on Ben. Ben simply turned around and took the fight to Jamie in more ways than one.

Jamie: It’s ironic that my first match in SCW was over seven years ago and like my return, a part of the Blast From the Past. It’s strangely poetic, I would like to think. Granted, I would have liked to have debuted with a win but when you’re up against two legit stars like Song and Ben Jordan, even the combined might of a Grand Slam winner like Vixen and yours truly (I kid!) couldn’t offer up much in the way of resistance. Or at least I couldn't.

Ben pulled no punches when it came to his craft inside of the ring, and he showed me that welcoming me aside, he was doing everything he could to put me on my back. And while I never thought I would say this outright, I tried everything to keep from having that man pin me down. Bright side? While Ben pretty much manhandled me from start to finish and I have no shame in admitting that, at least I have the small satisfaction to say I didn’t get beat in my debut, even if I didn’t win. Make much sense? Still, this goes out to the Cockney King as I know he’s watching. Allow me to say my friend that it was a pleasure working under you.”


Jamie winks at the camera with the corner up his lip turned upright.

Jamie: I can’t thank Mark and Christian enough for being so accommodating to me during my tenure with them, and I can’t thank everyone in the locker rooms for being so accepting to someone who had to have been considered an outsider. Not just because of my past but because I was, I think, one of the first openly gay men in the locker rooms. And now? Now we’re EVERYWHERE!

Jamie swept his arms out wide, then looked thoughtful and considerate.

Jamie: I wonder if it’s catching? Could all the Bible thumpers and rednecks be right?

Jamie then closed his eyes and shook his head.

Jamie: Best not to dwell on it or else it might back up and come out in more embarrassing ways. What I would rather say is that I’ve been blessed to have had my share of success stories in wrestling. And while that singles championship has always remained elusive toward me, I wouldn’t have traded places with anyone because the championships that I did get to enjoy? I got to do so with one of my closest friends at my side.

04/10/2016 - Phoenix, Arizona
Blaze of Glory V

Only three short weeks ago, Ben had vacated the championships rather than keep the titles and hand one-half of the shared championship to someone who had not legitimately won it. So he handed both titles over, and then on a whim, contacted Jamie Dean to see if he would be interested in teaming with him for a chance at the vacated championships, facing Lord Raab and Samuel McPherson.

Jamie had not been as active as the other three men over the course of many weeks, and to some so-called wrestling experts, it showed. It was a titanic clash between both teams and while Ben handled himself admirably against Both Raab and Samuel, Jamie admittedly had some degree of difficulty separating himself from his fun loving moments in order to take things more seriously against such sinister opponents.

Still, Ben’s coaching and encouragement prevailed…

Jamie Dean stood on the top of the near corner and he flew off with a picture perfect 450 splash on top of the masked McPherson, sitting on his chest and hooking a leg for the three count as Ben kept Lord Raab from breaking up the pin!

Jamie: Why Ben chose me to be his tag team partner is still a mystery to me and his only answer when I questioned him about it was ‘I needed a partner and you needed an opportunity.’

Jamie shrugged with a smile.

Jamie: That’s Ben Jordan for you! The man who gave me the welcoming I needed and the push that I wanted. And his management getting us booked on Lip Synch Battle will forever be a memory I will cherish. However, after Ben and I dropped the championships to the Members of the Elders, our journey wasn’t finished. And I’m not just talking about our time together as a team.

03/19/2017 - Stockton, California
Blaze of Glory VI

A battle royal for the tag team titles was almost unheard of at the time, but this match featured five teams in a hard fought, over the top rope eliminations match to see whom would walk out of Stockton with the gold around their waists! Many were shocked when the reigning champions at the time, Jet City, were the first team to be eliminated. And as the teams slowly dwindled one by one, it soon became a rematch from the previous year’s event between Team BJ (Ben never did fully endorse that team name) and the Monstimals! Ben and Samuel McPherson both fell over the top rope at almost the same time, but fate would be in the corner of Ben and Jamie. McPherson hit the floor first, and Ben practically fell on top of him after.

The decision was clear!

Justin’s voice called over the sound system of the Alex G. Spanos Center, igniting the capacity crowd as he called aloud, “And NEWWW World Tag Team Champions!!! “The Cockney King” Ben Jordan! Jamie Dean! Team BJ!!!”

The crowd had become electrified from an already intense and exciting match - a Battle Royal featuring Jet City, along with fellow challengers the Monstimals, the Elders and the Unholy Alliance.

The referee handed the gold and jewel encrusted championship belts over to the brand new titleholders and raised their arms in victory while the other teams already eliminated looked on with contempt and disappointment.

Jamie: A lot of people asked me what my fondest memories were during my time in SCW. My friendship with Amy is right up there, as is my teaming with Ben. But there was something else during that time that happened that was and is, near and dear to my heart that rises above everything else. And I have Ben to thank for it.

Oasis - Los Angeles, California

From the outside, this nightclub geared toward teenagers was a safe haven that kept the younger generation from wandering the streets, chasing trouble and tragedy. But at the heart of it, Oasis was so much more.

It was a charity run organization that benefited and supported homeless teens of the LGBTQ community. On a whole other level of the building, was a shelter where sometimes over twenty five LGBTQ teenagers remained safe. They were given a place to sleep, food that was not from a soup kitchen or garbage can, and perhaps most importantly, the chance to go back to school where they could make something of themselves.

Jamie: If it hadn’t been for Ben, there would have been no Oasis. There would have been no safe shelter for so many kids that have come and gone from those walls, who depended on and benefited from the kindness of strangers. That first night where Oasis first opened, twenty three teenagers, both boys and girls, walked in and were given hope. Close friends such as Amy and Samantha Marlowe and Master Lily lent a hand bringing in supplies and simply lending their ears to children who had nobody else. You can’t thank someone enough for giving kids in need the gift of hope where previously they had none.

Jamie sniffed back and hurriedly wiped the back of his hand across his eyes, trying to play it cool but his emotions were obvious and not in a bad way. He smiled with genuine affection.

Jamie: Together, Ben and I held the tag team gold for over ten months combined. I think the last time that we dropped the titles hurt the most because I knew he and I’s time as a tag team was nearing an end. He had plans of his own and he was trying everything possible to get me to devote more time to chasing after the World Heavyweight title.

Jamie chuckled, running a hand along his chin.

Jamie: I think I was my own worst critic while Ben was probably my biggest supporter. I challenged for the title once, and only once. I won the right to face J2H and I’m not ashamed to admit the former “Brat Prince” humbled me. I’m not too proud to admit he showed me why he was the best then and the best now, but I am proud enough to admit the loss left a sour taste in my mouth. When Ben was pushing for me to keep trying for the brass ring, I confided to him that there was something else that I had to do.

Ben’s exact words to me were, “I’m not getting through to you, am I?”

I admit, that made me feel like I somehow did him wrong, even though I know it’s not true. Ben Jordan just had that much faith in me and he didn’t want to see it go to waste. But when he found out what else I had in mind, why I was set to take a break, I’d like to think that I had changed his mind.


“Jamie Dean…”

It was three years later when his name was called to the front of the class, and the dean presented Jamie with what he had worked so hard toward; a Masters degree in Social work therapy. Jamie had felt he had his fun in the sun. It was time to devote his life and pursuits towards others who needed him. And while the kids at Oasis were always welcome to talk to him about any troubles, earning this Masters made him feel he could do the kids that depended on Ben and himself even more good.

Oasis - Los Angeles, California -
Current

The hour was after eleven and the lively activity of the Teen Nightclub/Homeless shelter known aptly and appropriately as Oasis, had slowly calmed down until closing due to the city-wide curfew for minors. Now, all of the kids housed safely behind closed doors were tucked away in their beds, sleeping soundly. Some worn out by their studies, others by earning a bit of their own living by helping out with cleanup in the club just downstairs. For now, all lights were out save for the one lone desktop lamp that was lit in the office of Oasis, and there seated behind the desk and staring into the flickering lights of the laptop before him, was none other than Jamie Dean himself.

His eyes spoke volumes to just how tired he was and how much he wanted to slip into the peaceful oblivion of a night’s slumber, but there always seemed to be something else that he could be working on. And so intent was he on scrolling through a recent email from one of the newest benefactors to Oasis that he did not hear the approach until the rap of knuckles on the office door’s frame startled him, almost causing him to fall from his chair.

Jamie: Jesus…!

And it was one of his closest friends and supporters of many years, Sandra Greene, that stood at the door with a bemused smile on her face. Sandra and her wife Kathy had been solid in Jamie’s corner from the moment they had first met when Sandra and Jamie worked together at AKBAR; Jamie as a bartender and Sandra as security. Sandra was what many would call the physical stereotype of the ‘butch lesbian’. Close cropped dark hair that was just beginning to be peppered with wisps of silver. A solid and somewhat full figured physical stature, a testament as to her effectiveness when she worked as security and now as one of Oasis’s most trusted employees.

Carrying her trademark cigar in her fingers that remained unlit after a health scare many moons ago, Sandra looked around the office with a frown.

Sandra: The kids are all sleeping and everything downstairs has been locked up.

Jamie: Thanks, Sandra.

Jamie said almost absent mindedly as his eyes returned to the screen. Sandra took a step further inside of the office and shook her head. She would have rolled her eyes as well had she not swatted countless people upside of the head for showing her the very same level of juvenile disrespect.

Sandra: What are you still doing here? You should have headed home two hours ago.

Jamie: There was still some work that I needed to do.

Sandra: Sweetpea…

The fact that she was using his pet nickname that she and Kathy had both bestowed upon him years ago. She reached across his desk and gently but firmly closed the laptop.

Sandra: Come with me.

And she said it as more of an order than a request, and Jamie had to struggle against every instinct to respond with “Yes, Ma.” The nickname everyone at AKBAR had given Sandra because of her motherly nature and how she took care of practically everyone. Sandra guided Jamie out of the office and downstairs, and once downstairs they set foot just outside of the main entrance to Oasis. The two friends took this brief moment to enjoy the late night’s pleasure, the cool wind that would soon in the coming months be warm and muggy. The late night traffic that cascaded along the busy LA streets. The building they stood before was not in the absolute best of neighborhoods but it was safer than most. The police regularly patrolled the area and Jamie made certain that they had paid security on the premises 24/7. All the better to ensure the safety of the children under his and Ben’s care. Once the moment’s enjoyment wore off, that was when Ma came into play. She turned to Jamie and shook her cigar at him.

Sandra: Where you’re concerned, there’s always going to be more work you think you have to shoulder the burden for. Well, you don’t. You have had enough of a support group helping you, helping these kids, that you can loosen the grip on the steering wheel every now and then.

Jamie: I know, it’s just…

Sandra: Just what? Ben has been coming here more often after that little chat you two had. You trust him, don’t you?

Jamie: Of course I do.

Sandra: And me?

Jamie looked eyes with this woman who he had been so close to over the years. Who had been a loving guide and shoulder to cry on when needed. Moments passed and his smile was genuine.

Jamie: Of course I do, Ma. I wouldn’t trust anyone more to protect these kids.

Sandra nodded, mollified.

Sandra: Good, I’m glad we got that cleared up. Although you could have answered that a little quicker.

Jamie snorted back a laugh but the smile remained, and he soon found his friend’s hand on his cheek.

Sandra: You haven’t taken a day off from this place since you and Ben opened it. Even when Ben takes his turn at the wheel, you find a reason to be here too.

To which Jamie shrugged.

Jamie: He’s one of my best friends. Is it so wrong to want to spend time with him?

Sandra: Not at all… if that was the only reason you lurk about. Whether it’s Ben or myself, you have a hard time letting go because you want to make sure there’s nobody to blame but yourself should anything go south.

She poked him in the chest with the tip of her cigar.

Sandra: Well nothing is going to go bad, Sweetpea. You’ve taken care of these kids for so many years, it’s time you took care of yourself. And you start doing that by leaving here, now, going home and getting some sleep so you can make your flight in the morning.

Jamie: Ma…

Sandra: Don’t you ‘Ma’ me! The kids are looking forward to seeing you wrestle for the first time! Kathy is looking forward to seeing you in the ring again and… yeah. So am I.

When you were close friends, no further words needed to be expressed. Jamie quickly found himself enveloped by Sandra in a tight embrace, one of which he was only too happy to return in kind.

Jamie: You always look out for me, don’t you?

Sandra: Well, someone has to.

The hug soon ended and the two separated. Sandra then pointed toward the door with her cigar and spoke like she would brook no argument.

Sandra: Now go. Get your keys and get going. Or else I’ll put you into a helicopter spin myself!

Jamie: Not to be difficult but it’s called an airplane spin.

Sandra then made to deliver a quick kick to Jamie’s backside as he hightailed it for the door!



“Jesus take the wheel!”

“You know, when I first contacted the SCW offices about signing up for this year’s Blast From the Past tournament, I didn’t tell anyone. Not Ben, not Sam - not even that sultry little minx bestie of mine, and yes I am talking about you, Amy Santino! I kept everything hush hush because I wanted to just surprise everyone - and it worked! I can’t even begin to tell you how everyone reacted after my name was announced. First there was Ben…”


Cut to a scene of Ben backstage, swatting Jamie upside of the head.

“Then there was Sammi…”

Cut to Sammi walking up and swatting Jamie upside the head.

“And of course, Amy…”

Amy grabs Jamie by the nip and gives it a sharp twist, sending the poor Tyrannosaurus Sex to his knees.

“I’m having a difficult time processing the fact that I have not been in the ring for the better part of seven years. Not since 2017 and my World title match against J2H. And now here we are, going to Normandy and what I have to consider a full circle event on the horizon. Because how appropriate is it that my first match was an opening round match in the 2014 Blast From the Past tournament, and now here I am! Making my soon to be triumphant return in… you guessed it! An opening round match in this year’s Blast From the Past! That first year I had Vixen as my partner, and this time I have Shay Owens watching my back while I’m fixing to do some harm to the twat who’s been turning the life of one of my closest friends into a veritable freaking nightmare!”

“Now I admit that I am somewhat out of the loop, but I know enough to know that Alexandra Calaway is one bad ass chick and chances are that she’s going to be the driving force behind her team. I mean, she’s teamed with a guy who has a great big yellow streak running down his back and enough conspiracy theories coursing through his noodle head brain to make him a Youtube sensation! Alexander doesn’t have Loony Luna in his corner so he’s hoping Alexandra will be able to do for him what Loony Luna has been unable to do… and that’s get him past those veritable roadblocks that always seem to be jumping in his way whenever he’s involved in a mixed tag team event. And while Alexandra is one bad ass chick who’s held more than her share of gold and bled some Bombshells dry, I have enough faith in my own partner to pull me through. Shay can take care of Alexandra. My only concern is you, Alexander.”


Jamie leaned forward into the camera, his usual happy go lucky demeanor quickly eclipsed with a more serious personae.

“Tell me something, Alexander. You’re such a big fan of conspiracy theories and all of that rubbish, how’s this for size? The man who is close friends with Ben Jordan … is your first round opponent! The man who you attacked from behind like a grade school coward, all to get under Ben’s skin before things got truly heated between the two of you… if your first round opponent! Now tell me something, Alexander! How’s that for a coincidence??? Or…”

He cocked his head to the side in wonder and curiosity.

“Was it a coincidence? Was it truly luck of the draw or are you going to try and drill it into the heads of everyone watching that the powers that be - namely Mark Ward and Christian Underwood - have it in for you so they wanted to sic a former two-time Tag Team Champion against you? I mean, you’ve been accusing everyone from the bosses to the color commentators of having it out for you in one way or another, so really! Is my being your first opponent in this year’s tournament really that far fetched, or was it preordained?”

He righted his noggin and tapped a forefinger against the side of his head.

“It’s something for you to think about while you’re looking back all those months ago when you first attacked Ben Jordan and asking yourself, ‘Was it all really worth it?’. Because while the fact remains that I haven’t been an active competitor for the better part of six years, give or take a few months, I’ve been in the ring with some of SCW’s most dangerous men at the time. Men like Dmitri and ‘the Mental Rapist’ Sean Jackson! Men who would have you looking into the nearest mirror and second guessing your decisions in life!”

“No more words need to be spoken, Alexander. This isn’t about beating your team and advancing to the Quarter-Finals with Shay. Although the expressions of disappointment will certainly be icing on the proverbial cake! This isn’t even about getting payback for you jumping me. No. This is about righting a wrong. This is about the support of a friendship, a brotherhood! And I’ll understand if that confuses you.”

“It’s not like you have any friends.”



"Let's get one thing straight -- I'm not."