Jessie’s first match since the title shot ban was lifted didn’t go quite as planned as Amanda Cortez ended up scoring the pin fall victory but ever the persistent one Jessie wasn’t about to let that setback stop her from moving up the ranks, this week was the go home show before Into the Void VIII which was great news for everyone not named Caleb Storms but more importantly Jessie was taking on Bobbie Dahl, another returning face from SCW’s past, in single’s action, can Jessie topple the much larger Bombshell?
Local music store, Fort Defiance, Arizona
Friday the 14th 2019, 11:00am
Need some way to relax and what better way to relax than seeing what albums I’ve missed.
Don’t know if you’ve noticed but being a wrestler is hard work, and with all the travel I do I rarely get any time to catch up with the latest CD releases unless we’re reasonably close to my home in California and I can swing buy and order some from Amazon (spoiler alert: I’m not), thankfully I found this local independent music store the last time SCW was in Fort Defiance and I made it a point to come here during the week and buy a few albums I missed.
Off course, wrestling is especially hard work when I am wrestling a big tub of lard.
This week I’m facing Bobbie Dahl in singles action, you remember her, right? She showed up in SCW just a few months before the hiatus and then disappeared just as quickly with the only thing people remember her for (aside from pinning two Bombshells at the same time at that year’s Summer XXXTreme) being how big she was compared to the rest of the Bombshell roster! And then there’s me, 5ft 2, 120ibs Jessie Salco having to wrestle her before Into the Void VIII!
I almost wish Veronica Taylor would return for a one off match against Bobbie just to watch that annoying bitch get scraped off the canvas with a spatula, but then I remember how fucking annoying her voice is and the crude jokes she’d make about Bobbie’s weight where pretty much inevitable so I decided that no, it’s not worth it.
Guess the closest I’ll get is simulating it in the Blaze of Glory video game.
“Death Angel, Savage Messiah, Gloryhammer, Enforcer, man, are there any new material from great bands that I haven’t missed?” I wondered to myself as I looked through the small handful of CDs that I was carrying in my hands, a few other familiar names like Vader, Fleshgod Apocalypse and Overkill caught my eye but I already had the new Overkill CD back home and Shane had picked up the two albums I mentioned. “Any idea where Jake is?”
“Last I saw him he was listening to some free samplers over there.” Shane responded as he pointed my much bigger brother out to me and I looked up, how I missed a guy who’s six foot ten is beyond me, even so I went over to my stepbrother just as he finished listening to an album.
“Anything good?” I asked once Jake removed his headphones and turned to me, I glanced up at the Spotify playlist and frowned. “Slipknot? Really?”
“Hey, I was skeptical too but there was one good song.” Jake responded and I gave him a skeptical look whilst folding my arms. “Go on, give Unsainted a listen.”
“Okay, but if my ears start bleeding, I’m blaming you.” I responded before I traded the small pile of CDs in my hands for the headphones and I listened to the song with Jake watching on, at first I was skeptical as I don’t like Slipknot’s music at all but as the song continued it started to grow on me, and then I had an epiphany when I heard the line “you killed the saint in me, how dare you martyr me” towards the end of the song, once it did end with that phrase being repeated I removed the headphones and took back the CDs. “I think I found it.”
“Huh?” Jake asked with a confused look on his face and I pointed to the Spotify playlist.
“I’ve been looking for a new theme song ever since I repaired the burned bridge with Amy and Kate.” I explained as I quickly looked up the release date of the new Slipknot album on my iPhone, August 9th is the release date but that’s also on the Bloodstock weekend, might have to see if I can pick it up whilst we’re in England. “And I found it, I guess I’ll have to use the video version until the album comes out.”
“You realize that Shane’s not going to let you live this down, right?” Jake asked and I nodded, fortunately Shane was waiting in line at the checkout, so I didn’t have to break the news to him just yet. “Let’s just go pay for the albums and you can think it over whilst you do your promo.”
“Don’t need to think it over but I do need to do my promo.” I responded with a nod before we joined Shane in the que, once we paid for the albums, we headed outside not wanting to spend any more time in there than necessary. “You guys mind waiting whilst I do my promo?” I asked once we were at the car and once, they nodded I went off to a quieter area that was still within walking distance of the parking lot to do my promo.
“I did many underhanded things in my quest to get to the top of the food chain and that was before that title shot ban was put in place last year, because how dare I try to advance my career, right? Well, that shit’s behind me and so is that fluke victory Amanda got over me at the beginning of the cycle but speaking of relics of SCW’s past coming out of the woodwork, this week I’m facing a woman who looks like she’s one cheeseburger away from a heart attack in the returning Bobbie Dahl.”
I said as I shook my head.
“And as amusing as it was to see Amanda’s fake tits get squashed by you Bobbie, I do have one question in mind, why? More specifically, why did they bring you back out of all the pre hiatus SCW wrestlers? Boggles the mind doesn’t it? Anyway, I’m sure you have to do a lot of calorie counting before a meal so here’s some math for you Bobbie, I’m 120ibs, your 240ibs, yes, that means that you could squash me as well but you’d have to catch me first.”
Not often that I face someone who’s literally twice as heavy as me.
“And before anyone calls me on that fat jokes, please, I could be a lot worse to Bobbie but I won’t stoop to that level, not unless she pisses me off of course but that’s a story for another time, the story that matters now is the story of how I’m going to topple someone who weighs twice as much as I do and how I’m going to do that is simple, literally run circles around her and use my speed to make sure that she never lays a hand on me, do I need to spell it out for you Bobbie? This match is over before it started!”
And with that I decided to wrap things up.
“My quest to win the World Bombshell Championship and achieve the grand slam led to me being unsainted in the eyes of many fans and a bullshit title shot ban that should’ve gone to a certain wrestler with many names but now? I’m making my long awaited comeback and after a stumbling block in the form of Amanda Cortez I’ll be back on the winning track by topping Bobbie Dahl, and as for all the haters, all I’ve got to got to say is this, you killed the saint in me, you martyred me and now you’ll get the pissed off “Heavy Metal Angel Jessie Salco and Bobbie will be the first to feel this angel’s wrath.”
I went off to the car as the scene fades.
