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Supercard Archives / Re: ALICIA LUKAS v RUBY STEELE - GLASS TABLE MATCH
« on: September 10, 2021, 10:34:30 AM »Session 11: Re-entry
She had been dreading this all week. Every single moment that this came closer was a moment of worry. After their last session, Alicia had sat at home thinking, trying not to go back to those moments where she had to make the hard decisions, trying hard not to remember what it was like to step foot back in her homeland. Trying to forget how it felt to leave a place that first time in her life actually made her feel accepted, Japan was where she first felt truly at home.
Even the elevator right up to the doctors’ office felt strange and wrong. Her hands fumbled together as she tried to take a deep breath and calm herself down, the high-pitched tone as she reached the third floor sent a chill up her spine.
This was a strange feeling, it was more like the first time she came to see her doctor, the first time that she had made this walk down the hallway towards her office. But they have come so far since then, every single session, every single talk seemed to calm Alicia down and make her realize parts of her life and part of herself that were not her fault, that she had been carrying guilt and blaming herself for too long.
But all of those feelings subsided, it became something to look forward to. Someone who Alicia trusted that she was able to unburden herself to every single week, but this was different.
When she walked away last time all she could feel was hatred for herself. A self-loathing that she had actually had in her heart since she left the United States to go to Japan the first time. When she escaped her problems. When she came to the realization that if she didn’t leave she was going to die. But running away to save someone’s life even if it is your own feels wrong if there are children involved. And that is what she had to try and reconcile within herself. Even though the doctor seems to understand, there was still so much that Alicia needed to tell her. And maybe she wouldn’t understand anymore, maybe she would finally see the kind of horrible person that Alicia always believed herself to be.
“You’re late, I was starting to worry.” Dr. Whitlow shook her head and exhale happily. She genuinely seemed to worry about Alicia, it made her feel strange that this woman, even though she was a paid professional, was more motherly to her than her mother. And that may have been an issue. “Come in. We have a lot to talk about.” She tried to hide her trepidation, moving through to the couch, she sat down on the side kicking her legs up and holding her arms over her chest. Her body language showed that she was closed off, nervous, severely worried about what they were about to talk about and what she knew Dr. Whitlow was about to ask “So, we talked about you returning from Japan”
It made Alicia create her teeth together and close her eyes. She gave a small nod, obviously not wanting to go there. “Can we….skip it? Talk about anything else? My abusive relationships? My dads death? My Mother, I don’t know….anything?”
“No.”
“No?”
She shifted in her chair, gripping the pen hard between her fingers as she pulled the notepad sideways tilting her head as she studied Alicia, looking her up and down as she laid back. “This is an important part of your life, a crux moment in your story.” Her eyes were still kind but this time had authority behind them a small smile coming on her face as she sat back. “If you ever want to really move forward in your life, you need to face everything. No matter how uncomfortable and no matter how much you hate it up on yourself, you need to face it and push it away. Understand it and deal with it. So please, pull up your big girl pants, and let’s begin.“
She was right, Alicia knew it, but she didn’t like it. She pushed out the large breath that she had taken in, her arms on folding and instead her hands class being together in her lap. She remembers what it was like sitting on the plane, nervously watching the small cartoon move across the crude yet accurate map. The plane was getting closer and closer, after arriving at LAX and going through all of the re-entry procedures, all of the immigration procedures, she was finally able to get on towards Atlanta. And she knew what was going to be there
All of the progress that she had made while in Japan, reclaiming herself and getting to know the kind of woman she wanted to be, none of that mattered now. What mattered was her sons, what mattered was her family. What mattered was her guilt. For the longest time, Alicia had felt it in her heart whenever she thought about them, that she abandoned them, and even though she knew her ex would never layer hand on them he would spoil them and provide for them, her not being in their lives made her feel sick to her stomach and more guilty than she could feel about anything else in her life.
And now she was going back to that, going back to a world where she was treated as less than nothing, as a possession by Ronnie, as a bargaining chip by her mother, and afterthought I heard father who walked out of her life. In America she was nobody, she meant nothing. In Japan, she had friends, a job, a purpose. And it scared her going home.
After she landed, everything seem to move in slow motion. Moving through the terminal, retrieving her bag. She moved outside onto the pavement. She turned, swallowing hard, she expected her mother to be there. But she wasn’t. She turned her phone on and as it found the nearest cell tower it beat and paused, messages arrived explaining that she needed to find her own way to her mother’s home. Alicia‘s heart sank, her mother thought so little of her that she wasn’t even meeting her at the airport. But then again? What did she expect? She ran away, she ran away from her responsibilities and her duties as a wife a mother, and a daughter.
She should have just ended it when she had the chance. At least then maybe people would regret things that they had said to her, this way? She just proved everyone right and they were able to treat her like shit. This was a low point in her life.
But maybe, she deserved it.
“Stop it.”
The good doctor‘s voice broke through the haze, Alicia‘s eyes shot open and she turned her head towards her. This was the first time that Dr. Whitlow had interrupted her while she was going through my memories. Re-living a story. Alicia‘s heart sank again, this was it. This was the moment where the doctor would tell her that she was beyond saving, beyond help, and not even deserving of it. That she was right to feel this way, in the end, Alicia was a coward. That was her greatest secret, her greatest fear, that everyone would now know that.
She moved forward, dropping the pad on the ground. “That is enough, we have come so far together and you still don’t even see the kind of things that you have been through. You don’t see all of the obstacles that you have overcome and the kind of person that you are today.” Alicia stayed silent, but she swallowed hard the words cutting deep. “For months you and I have talked, you’ve gone through your past and you’ve told me the things that you have been so scared of, I have given you fresh perspective each time and while I’m supposed to remain impartial I’m telling you right now the one thing you need to keep in your heart, it’s not your fault. It has never been your fault.”
Alicia sits up, turning her legs off the end of the couch to the ground, leaning against her body weight. She takes a long deep breath in and pushes it out calming herself down. She isn’t turning her back. She is staying with Alicia. “Thank you….” Dr. Whitlow mood forward placing her hands on Alicia‘s hands. She just gave her a warm grin, there was silence between them because at that point nothing else needed to be said.
The End
“It seems to me, that what we have here is a failure to communicate…”
She chuckles and breath, Alicia’s long blonde hair tied back into a bun with the front hanging down either side of her face, framing it.
“I don’t just blame Ruby, she is a symptom of the problem, not the cause. You say someone like Ruby has never known what it is like to climb to the top of the mountain, to be the best in the world. Sure, like everyone else in wrestling today and in this division she believes maybe one day she could be the best in the world, that she could be a champion and that she could beat every single opponent they put in front of her and turn back every single challenge. She believes one day she could do that. But actually doing it? Having the experience of running through a division like a hot knife through butter and knowing that there was no one at that time you could step to you and actually be a challenge? She has no idea that kind of pressure that puts you under. She has no idea the kind of constant need to be the best that you end up having.“
“And She has no idea what it is like to watch people who want supported you turn on you all because they are jealous of the position that you hold and the accomplishments that you’ve been able to earn.”
“It isn’t your fault Ruby.“
“You don’t know what you are talking about most of the time, you might think you do, but you don’t. And I can’t blame you for that. You have been fed constant lies and constant bullshit your entire career. You have had people telling you that you can be the best, people supporting you, friends and family trying to push you to be the best, and then you’ve had people telling you that you can’t make it. And the ones that tell you that you can’t? They are not being honest either because they are telling you that it is them who will reach the top of the mountain and not you. But Me? Ruby I’m honest. I’m going to do your favour and be honest to a brutal degree because I don’t want to sugarcoat things and I don’t want you to continue wasting your time in a profession and the company that will pass you by use you up and spit you the fuck out.”
Alicia shrugs turning her lips up into a smirk before sliding her hands into the front pockets of her tight-fitting black jeans.
“I guess that is something that your trainers didn’t tell you. Or your family. See, it doesn’t matter that you were trained by a woman who believes herself to be the best, it doesn’t matter that you have been trained by the one person in this company if you can say they had the title as long as me and actually are arguably more synonymous with the bombshells title than me. Because that is not your past, that is not your accomplishment. There is a spark that most people need to have to be the best, this little voice inside them that pushes them for time and time again. When friends and family at that actually helped them, that little voice is the one that picks them up and pushes them forward.”
“I can tell by looking at you, you don’t have that. You don’t have the drive and the talent to get yourself to that level. Now, a lack of talent can still get you far if you have that determination. Look at Keira, she is definitely not the most talented individual you’ll ever see, but she had to drive to get herself over that last hurdle and become the champion. And the foolish optimist in me actually believed and mistook that for talent and let her become a champion, then she became a joke. I used to be someone who would believe in the potential that everyone out, are used to be that champion that wanted to drag the entire division up and put them on my shoulders and make sure that they were at my level. But, I have come to the realisation that some of you are beyond help and are beyond saving and don’t deserve my advice.”
Her voice drops if you octaves into a growl, she bears her teeth like some kind of angry animal, her eyes burn, she swallows hard and takes a deep breath before closing her eyes and re-centering herself.
“So instead, I’m going to teach you a lesson through violence. I’m going to let you get in the ring with me and experience what it’s like to be completely out of your depth, and completely out of your league. Actually, let me rephrase that, you are not just out of your league when you’re are facing me, we’re not even playing the same fucking game.”
“You are playing stick ball, I’m playing baseball. You are playing checkers and I’m playing chess.“
“The thing is, I know you are going to come at me with everything you have Ruby. You are going to do it in some vain attempt to get revenge for what I did Courtney, you have said as much, I have said as much, it’s something that is obvious to anyone who is done any type of research about why this matches happening. The problem, is that revenge can only be taken when the person trying to do it is actually a threat. And you are not a threat to me. You can come at me with all of the aggression and anger that you have in your tiny little body, and it’s going to mean nothing.”
“All I have if I wanted is for you to pay attention, because you need to know what you are getting into.“
Alicia leans forward, her Nostrils flare.
“I will grab you, I will drop you on your head, I will throw you around that ring, and then I will kick your head in. And then, after you have exhausted every single ounce of energy in your body, after you look up at me and realise the dates that I have drag your body into. When the weight and pressure is bearing down on you in the realisation that your revenge failed and you let Courtney down, I will lean in and you will beg me to finish it. You will beg me to end you.”
“The end, funny isn’t it? You decided to say that you will end me at the end of your promo but let’s be real, out of the two of us? I’m the one who ihas ended careers. You haven’t ended anything.”
“But, I am not without mercy Ruby. If I think you have been sufficiently beaten down and if I look into those beady little eyes of yours and see that you have realised the truth? Then you will have my permission to be beaten. I will drop you through a glass table and I will walk away and leave you to pick the pieces of that table out of your body along with the broken shards of your career and probably, your relationship. Because after all, do you think Courtney wants to be with someone who failed to avenge what happened to her?”
“I don’t think so, but you will thank me for this, I already said it last time Ruby., and in advance I’ll just say you are welcome.”
She had been dreading this all week. Every single moment that this came closer was a moment of worry. After their last session, Alicia had sat at home thinking, trying not to go back to those moments where she had to make the hard decisions, trying hard not to remember what it was like to step foot back in her homeland. Trying to forget how it felt to leave a place that first time in her life actually made her feel accepted, Japan was where she first felt truly at home.
Even the elevator right up to the doctors’ office felt strange and wrong. Her hands fumbled together as she tried to take a deep breath and calm herself down, the high-pitched tone as she reached the third floor sent a chill up her spine.
This was a strange feeling, it was more like the first time she came to see her doctor, the first time that she had made this walk down the hallway towards her office. But they have come so far since then, every single session, every single talk seemed to calm Alicia down and make her realize parts of her life and part of herself that were not her fault, that she had been carrying guilt and blaming herself for too long.
But all of those feelings subsided, it became something to look forward to. Someone who Alicia trusted that she was able to unburden herself to every single week, but this was different.
When she walked away last time all she could feel was hatred for herself. A self-loathing that she had actually had in her heart since she left the United States to go to Japan the first time. When she escaped her problems. When she came to the realization that if she didn’t leave she was going to die. But running away to save someone’s life even if it is your own feels wrong if there are children involved. And that is what she had to try and reconcile within herself. Even though the doctor seems to understand, there was still so much that Alicia needed to tell her. And maybe she wouldn’t understand anymore, maybe she would finally see the kind of horrible person that Alicia always believed herself to be.
“You’re late, I was starting to worry.” Dr. Whitlow shook her head and exhale happily. She genuinely seemed to worry about Alicia, it made her feel strange that this woman, even though she was a paid professional, was more motherly to her than her mother. And that may have been an issue. “Come in. We have a lot to talk about.” She tried to hide her trepidation, moving through to the couch, she sat down on the side kicking her legs up and holding her arms over her chest. Her body language showed that she was closed off, nervous, severely worried about what they were about to talk about and what she knew Dr. Whitlow was about to ask “So, we talked about you returning from Japan”
It made Alicia create her teeth together and close her eyes. She gave a small nod, obviously not wanting to go there. “Can we….skip it? Talk about anything else? My abusive relationships? My dads death? My Mother, I don’t know….anything?”
“No.”
“No?”
She shifted in her chair, gripping the pen hard between her fingers as she pulled the notepad sideways tilting her head as she studied Alicia, looking her up and down as she laid back. “This is an important part of your life, a crux moment in your story.” Her eyes were still kind but this time had authority behind them a small smile coming on her face as she sat back. “If you ever want to really move forward in your life, you need to face everything. No matter how uncomfortable and no matter how much you hate it up on yourself, you need to face it and push it away. Understand it and deal with it. So please, pull up your big girl pants, and let’s begin.“
She was right, Alicia knew it, but she didn’t like it. She pushed out the large breath that she had taken in, her arms on folding and instead her hands class being together in her lap. She remembers what it was like sitting on the plane, nervously watching the small cartoon move across the crude yet accurate map. The plane was getting closer and closer, after arriving at LAX and going through all of the re-entry procedures, all of the immigration procedures, she was finally able to get on towards Atlanta. And she knew what was going to be there
All of the progress that she had made while in Japan, reclaiming herself and getting to know the kind of woman she wanted to be, none of that mattered now. What mattered was her sons, what mattered was her family. What mattered was her guilt. For the longest time, Alicia had felt it in her heart whenever she thought about them, that she abandoned them, and even though she knew her ex would never layer hand on them he would spoil them and provide for them, her not being in their lives made her feel sick to her stomach and more guilty than she could feel about anything else in her life.
And now she was going back to that, going back to a world where she was treated as less than nothing, as a possession by Ronnie, as a bargaining chip by her mother, and afterthought I heard father who walked out of her life. In America she was nobody, she meant nothing. In Japan, she had friends, a job, a purpose. And it scared her going home.
After she landed, everything seem to move in slow motion. Moving through the terminal, retrieving her bag. She moved outside onto the pavement. She turned, swallowing hard, she expected her mother to be there. But she wasn’t. She turned her phone on and as it found the nearest cell tower it beat and paused, messages arrived explaining that she needed to find her own way to her mother’s home. Alicia‘s heart sank, her mother thought so little of her that she wasn’t even meeting her at the airport. But then again? What did she expect? She ran away, she ran away from her responsibilities and her duties as a wife a mother, and a daughter.
She should have just ended it when she had the chance. At least then maybe people would regret things that they had said to her, this way? She just proved everyone right and they were able to treat her like shit. This was a low point in her life.
But maybe, she deserved it.
“Stop it.”
The good doctor‘s voice broke through the haze, Alicia‘s eyes shot open and she turned her head towards her. This was the first time that Dr. Whitlow had interrupted her while she was going through my memories. Re-living a story. Alicia‘s heart sank again, this was it. This was the moment where the doctor would tell her that she was beyond saving, beyond help, and not even deserving of it. That she was right to feel this way, in the end, Alicia was a coward. That was her greatest secret, her greatest fear, that everyone would now know that.
She moved forward, dropping the pad on the ground. “That is enough, we have come so far together and you still don’t even see the kind of things that you have been through. You don’t see all of the obstacles that you have overcome and the kind of person that you are today.” Alicia stayed silent, but she swallowed hard the words cutting deep. “For months you and I have talked, you’ve gone through your past and you’ve told me the things that you have been so scared of, I have given you fresh perspective each time and while I’m supposed to remain impartial I’m telling you right now the one thing you need to keep in your heart, it’s not your fault. It has never been your fault.”
Alicia sits up, turning her legs off the end of the couch to the ground, leaning against her body weight. She takes a long deep breath in and pushes it out calming herself down. She isn’t turning her back. She is staying with Alicia. “Thank you….” Dr. Whitlow mood forward placing her hands on Alicia‘s hands. She just gave her a warm grin, there was silence between them because at that point nothing else needed to be said.
The End
“It seems to me, that what we have here is a failure to communicate…”
She chuckles and breath, Alicia’s long blonde hair tied back into a bun with the front hanging down either side of her face, framing it.
“I don’t just blame Ruby, she is a symptom of the problem, not the cause. You say someone like Ruby has never known what it is like to climb to the top of the mountain, to be the best in the world. Sure, like everyone else in wrestling today and in this division she believes maybe one day she could be the best in the world, that she could be a champion and that she could beat every single opponent they put in front of her and turn back every single challenge. She believes one day she could do that. But actually doing it? Having the experience of running through a division like a hot knife through butter and knowing that there was no one at that time you could step to you and actually be a challenge? She has no idea that kind of pressure that puts you under. She has no idea the kind of constant need to be the best that you end up having.“
“And She has no idea what it is like to watch people who want supported you turn on you all because they are jealous of the position that you hold and the accomplishments that you’ve been able to earn.”
“It isn’t your fault Ruby.“
“You don’t know what you are talking about most of the time, you might think you do, but you don’t. And I can’t blame you for that. You have been fed constant lies and constant bullshit your entire career. You have had people telling you that you can be the best, people supporting you, friends and family trying to push you to be the best, and then you’ve had people telling you that you can’t make it. And the ones that tell you that you can’t? They are not being honest either because they are telling you that it is them who will reach the top of the mountain and not you. But Me? Ruby I’m honest. I’m going to do your favour and be honest to a brutal degree because I don’t want to sugarcoat things and I don’t want you to continue wasting your time in a profession and the company that will pass you by use you up and spit you the fuck out.”
Alicia shrugs turning her lips up into a smirk before sliding her hands into the front pockets of her tight-fitting black jeans.
“I guess that is something that your trainers didn’t tell you. Or your family. See, it doesn’t matter that you were trained by a woman who believes herself to be the best, it doesn’t matter that you have been trained by the one person in this company if you can say they had the title as long as me and actually are arguably more synonymous with the bombshells title than me. Because that is not your past, that is not your accomplishment. There is a spark that most people need to have to be the best, this little voice inside them that pushes them for time and time again. When friends and family at that actually helped them, that little voice is the one that picks them up and pushes them forward.”
“I can tell by looking at you, you don’t have that. You don’t have the drive and the talent to get yourself to that level. Now, a lack of talent can still get you far if you have that determination. Look at Keira, she is definitely not the most talented individual you’ll ever see, but she had to drive to get herself over that last hurdle and become the champion. And the foolish optimist in me actually believed and mistook that for talent and let her become a champion, then she became a joke. I used to be someone who would believe in the potential that everyone out, are used to be that champion that wanted to drag the entire division up and put them on my shoulders and make sure that they were at my level. But, I have come to the realisation that some of you are beyond help and are beyond saving and don’t deserve my advice.”
Her voice drops if you octaves into a growl, she bears her teeth like some kind of angry animal, her eyes burn, she swallows hard and takes a deep breath before closing her eyes and re-centering herself.
“So instead, I’m going to teach you a lesson through violence. I’m going to let you get in the ring with me and experience what it’s like to be completely out of your depth, and completely out of your league. Actually, let me rephrase that, you are not just out of your league when you’re are facing me, we’re not even playing the same fucking game.”
“You are playing stick ball, I’m playing baseball. You are playing checkers and I’m playing chess.“
“The thing is, I know you are going to come at me with everything you have Ruby. You are going to do it in some vain attempt to get revenge for what I did Courtney, you have said as much, I have said as much, it’s something that is obvious to anyone who is done any type of research about why this matches happening. The problem, is that revenge can only be taken when the person trying to do it is actually a threat. And you are not a threat to me. You can come at me with all of the aggression and anger that you have in your tiny little body, and it’s going to mean nothing.”
“All I have if I wanted is for you to pay attention, because you need to know what you are getting into.“
Alicia leans forward, her Nostrils flare.
“I will grab you, I will drop you on your head, I will throw you around that ring, and then I will kick your head in. And then, after you have exhausted every single ounce of energy in your body, after you look up at me and realise the dates that I have drag your body into. When the weight and pressure is bearing down on you in the realisation that your revenge failed and you let Courtney down, I will lean in and you will beg me to finish it. You will beg me to end you.”
“The end, funny isn’t it? You decided to say that you will end me at the end of your promo but let’s be real, out of the two of us? I’m the one who ihas ended careers. You haven’t ended anything.”
“But, I am not without mercy Ruby. If I think you have been sufficiently beaten down and if I look into those beady little eyes of yours and see that you have realised the truth? Then you will have my permission to be beaten. I will drop you through a glass table and I will walk away and leave you to pick the pieces of that table out of your body along with the broken shards of your career and probably, your relationship. Because after all, do you think Courtney wants to be with someone who failed to avenge what happened to her?”
“I don’t think so, but you will thank me for this, I already said it last time Ruby., and in advance I’ll just say you are welcome.”