It’s a work

She’d been distant. Even more distant than normal. But with everything going on it seems as if Alicia had slipped through the cracks. The day to day operations at Wolfslair went on as they would normally. People arrived, they trained, they would go off to various events, they would return. Like clockwork everything went on as normal. And even though she was now mentally stronger, a better version of the woman she always wanted to be, she was disturbed.

For months she lied to herself. She went to a room and talked through her own issues in a delusion. She watched her marriage fall apart, she bent down and picked up the pieces. And as those pieces got put back together, as her life started to come back to where she needed it to be and she rose like a phoenix from the ashes, the delusion cracked, crumbled and became the lie she could now see clearly.

Ironic, now everything tasted sweeter, the air was clearer, everything seemed calm.

But now the real work was ready to begin. She was in contact with her family, being a daughter, sister and mother. But her career needed saving. She had been going through ther motions. Letting her emotions get the better of her. Every week it was the same thing, it was the same ride. And the problem with rides, is that eventually they get boring.

So now, she knew what needed to happen.

She swallowed hard looking over at Alex’s office. It had been so long since she had a one on one with the owner and head trainer of Wolfslair New York, so long since she had just sat down and shot the shit. She pushed the door open, Alex smiled and gave her a nod to let her know to come in. Alicia moved around sitting across his desk, sliding her hands into the pockets of her black and red Wolfslair hoodie. Alex looked over a piece of paper, sliding it into the pile on his right before moving the pile on his left to the edge of his desk.

He looked up with a smirk and shrugged. ”What can I do for you?”

”Well, I’m just wondering what the plan is for Wolfslair?”

There was a small silence, Alex raised his eyebrows. Almost surprised Alicia would ask him and be interested in this. ”Well, we are continuing to grow and show visibility. Orlando is growing too and soon Austin is going to take a trip out there to train with a few of the talents they have, some interesting prospects I might get Mark and Chris to have a look at too.”

Now it was Alicia that was surprised, she twisted her lips into a pout, moving her hands forward onto the desk with a laugh under her breath. ”Not the gym…the group?”

”The what?”

Alicia rolled her eyes before sitting back in the chair and throwing her hands in the air. ”The group, in SCW. You, Austin, Me, Johanna…” Alex just blinked a few times, Alicia sat forward getting closer. ”Ring a bell?”

Alex cleared his throat and shook his head. ”Alicia. The group is done…” Silence. Alex stared ahead, Alicia narrowed her eyes and laughed shaking her head in a dismissive way. ”I’m serious. I don’t know when I’ll be back competing. I’m hurt Ali.”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes again. ”I know you’re working everyone Alex and I-”

”No I’m not…this is legit…” He paused again, Alicia shook her head almost refusing to believe it. Alex pushed to his feet, wincing as he did moving around the office nowhere near as freely as you’d expect. ”I haven’t even been training. Austin has been doing alot of it…but with…with what he’s been through I….look…my focus is the gym..”

Alicia looked away and let out a small sigh before moving next to him. ”Well, I guess I should talk to Johanna..she and I will work something out….I need backup to makesure Diamonds gem hoes don’t get in my way…”

Alex shook his head and looked out the window to Johanna, she was standing next to Kalisto Reznik, the two chatting away about a few things. ”Johanna didn’t sign a new contract….she’s no longer in SCW…”

”WHAT?...y’all mother fuckers have a team meeting without me to decide this shit?” Alex turned away and moved back to the desk, obviously done with Alicias shit, Alicia closed her fists and turned back to him. ”Look, I’ve been a little distracted lately, I can see that. But still, Austin is barely here, you’re hurt, Johanna bounced, suddenly I’m alone and I just picked a fight with a bitch who is going to bring her whole crew after me..” Alex looked unimpressed. ”I could take out one or two..but all of them at once?..I’m good Alex but I’m not that good.”

Alex laughed to himself and looked down with a sigh. ”Well…I suppose you better make ther plans…I’m sure you’ll think of something..”

Alicia growled and waved her hand lightly to signal she got it. She moved out from the office closing the door behind her. She moved along the mats and passed Johanna and Kallie giving them a small nod, she moved out into the locker room, grabbing her phone from her bag she stepped outside unlocking it, her thumb hovered over the call icon for what seemed like an eternity. ”Ahhh fuck it…”

RING RING

RING RING

”Hey…..I got an employment opportunity….I need you to be in Cali….Sunday morning…”

All according to plan

”I suppose some of you are expecting me to offer up some kind of apology for what I said on Climax Control right?”

Alicia shakes her head, a small smile on her lips as her bright blue eyes stare forward, unfeeling, uncaring, almost vacant of any emotion.

”You ain’t getting shit.”

“See, I wewnt out there and I said a whole bunch of shit I needed to get off my chest. Not everything, but just enough. For years I have had to deal with entitled weakling and morons who feel the need to tell us all how great they are when they don’t actually have any right being on the same card asd me, let alone the same company. I have heard Jessie Salco run her mouth for months and years about title shots and championships…”

“I’ve watched her go one and a hundred in title matches and still get opportunity after opportunity while then, in the same breath chastising me for taking an opportunity I earned.”

“I have been spat on and disrespected by everyone in this company, so when I heard what happened with Vargas and Steele, well I had to say something. And it speaks volumes that the men in charge of SCW not only allowed me to do it, actively encouraged me to.”

“I meant what I said, and I said what I meant.”

“So no, I’m not going to ap;ologise, in fact I’m going to double down. Everything I said was true. Everything I said was right, and I have a bigger issue with Diamond and her gemstones and at Climax control I will be confronting Diamond, and I will tell her to her goddamn face what I feel. But, before I can do what, well I have to get in the ring and face the other woman who got some of that verbal venom. And I hope to god that before she speaks she actually listens to what I said, and takes it into her head that the bosses are clearly as pissed off with her as I am..”

Alicia takes a moment, showing a little emotion now as she clears her throat and stands up straight.

”Oh Mercedes. What have you done huh? I’m going to sit here by the way and watch you try and explain away why you decided to dip on the company last week. I’m going to wait for you to try and justify it in any way that you can. I dunno, your aunt died? Youre neighbors cat needed a hysterectomy? You got your period?...oh..wait, that one you can’t yse. Menopause is a bitch huh?”

“But I will wait with baited breath for you to go through what I said on climax control and try asd pick it apart, maybe chastise me for making a comment about your age, I dunno. Truthfully, I hope I look as good as you when I’m sixty. But, Christian and Mark decided it would be a good idea to put us in the ring against each other. Possibly for me to teach you a lesson, I’m not sure.”

“Naybe, just maybe they’ll hope I can break your fingers.”

“Then we all wouldn’t have to watch you repost old SCW Climax controls on twitter as a way to relive your faded glory days and youth. Or to stop you from constantly retweeting shit about crappy New York sports teams. The rangers suck, the Giants suck, the jets suck and so sdo the fucking knocks and no one except you gives a shit about them, just stop.”

“But maybe I’m being too hard on you. I mean my mother hasn’t figured out how to use facebook yet, maybe that’s all this is, technology moving so fast can be scary Mercy..”

She chuckles and shakes her head.

”But here’s the thing, one criticism of me that I have taken to heart and I respect is that, maybe, just maybe I have been living in the past, reminding people what I’ve done constantly and you know, maybe they’re right. See, I don’t want to be like you Mercedes, where that is all I have. Where I am just sitting there and constantly retweeting old shows and mentioning history because that is all I have. I don’t want that, and I don;’t want to turn into you.”

“I have other names I need to get to but I have been placed in front of you fuirst and you have been named as a sacrifice to me. See, Chris and Mark are smart.”

“They know I am still money in professional wrestling. They know I am still a name and I can deliver. So they want me to go out there and beat the hell out of you, they want me to tear you down with everything from cheap jokes about age, to straight cuts about your living in the past, and if there is one person in this company who lives their glories more than me, it’s you.”

“But, that is the difference between us. I have recognised I need to look toward the future. You haven’t learned that lesson Mercy, you just keep going about the same shit over and over again. But, only the stuiff that suits you. See, I never hear you admitting to the factthat I have your number and always have.”

“I don’t hear you admitting to the fact I climbed the ladder in WWH when it meant something while you failed even as the company burned. I don’t hear you reminding people that in Honor wrestling I beat you in every way possible and I don’t hear you admitting to the fact in SCW I have been your fucking daddy since day one…”

Alicia gets animated now, filling herself with confidence and a smile.

”You need to learn Mercedes, without learning you don’t grow and you have been stagnant for years. You have been a great servant for this company and have done it all. And I told you last time we faced each other that you lacked passion, that you had become complacent. And I was right then and I’m right now because nothing has changed.”

“About the only nice thing I can say about you is that you’re still here..”

“No matter how much you lose, no matter how many times you fail to climb back to the top of the mountain you still stay in SCW out of loyalty. You don’t take your ball and go home like your name is Myra Rivers..no..Mercedes Vargas is SCW through and through. And that Vrgas, that I can respect…or atl;east I could…till ya pissed it all away..”

Session 21:Find my way

”Empty..”

”Empty?”

She repeated the single word back to her. A litmas test to guage where Alicia was seems to have gone wrong. The question was simple. In one word describe how she feels in her personal life now. She sat in Whitlows office, the sight was so familiar to her now that Alicia would notice the smallest differences. A picture moved here, a new writing pad there. She sighed and shook her head, she knew that the good doctor would want her to elaborate. A deeo feeling of regret ran through her veins. She could of lied.

Why didn’t I lie?”

It would have been so easy. Just blurt out a word, any word. Happy,. Awkward. Sad. Anything except Empty. But it was done now, She had no choice. She sat up straight, adjusting her shirt as she cleared her throat. Electing to sit on the chair across from Whitlow instead of lay on the couch was a subliminal choice. She wanted to be viewed more as an equal having a conversation instead of a patient. Or client.

”It’s a feeling that didn’t go away. It was there from the end of it to now…it started when..” She paused and clenched her jaw, swallowing and taking a sharp inhale through her nose, holding onto the breath as a way to stop herself from crying. After a few seconds the feeling passed, her stomach released and she looked down and away before continuing. ”It started the day after he left…when I came home.” She ran her hands through her hair. Dr Whilow shuffled in her seat, uncrossing her right leg from her left and switching them.

Alicia looked up from the floor, the floor that had changed. Her mind flickering away from the empty pain that the Doctor wanted her to focus on to the fact the hardwood floors that had looked clean and pristine had now become faded and the shine had gone. They looked aged, fractured, almost like termites had gotten to them Dr  Whitlows voice broke through the haze and startled Alicia. ”Why was it so jarring to you?..what happened?” Alicia snapped out of it, she gave a small nod and released the second breath she had held in.

The entire cab ride back from the airport made her sick. When she was at work, in front of the fans, around co workers she could forget. Forget about the turmoil at home, forget about the feeling of being trapped and pushed. Forget that the man she loved had given her an ultimatum. She had dropped her sons off with her sister. Zoey had come back into their lives after running and disappearing, ashe wanted to make up time, spend it with her nephews. Alicia reluctantly agreed. It was time to get home now, to figure out what to do. But she had no idea what she’d find, and that made her feel sick to her stomach. The unknown.

As the car pulled up to the curb Alicia simply took out her card, paid for the ride and stepped out, her gear bacg in her hand as she grabbed the strap throwing it over her shoulder. She looked up at the old house, the two storey townhouse in upstate New York that she had moved into with Michael all those years before. She shook her head and moved toward the door taking out her keys. They still worked. He hadn’t changed the locks yet.

She chuckled to herself pushing the door open. Maybe he had come to his senses. Maybe he was inside waiting for her so they could reconcile. But, did she want that? Did she want him to stay? Part of her did. Love was never the proublem. She loved him with all her heart. She loved him so much that it still hurt deep down in the pit of her stomach. But, she needed to take a stand, she needed to do it for herself. Yet there was the single nagging question echoing through her head like a broken record skipping.

Was she the asshole?

He wanted a child, and truthfully so did she. But she put it off, she put it off for her career. And maybe that was her mistake. But, he had also said it was about her making rhe decision herself. And maybe, just maybe he was right. She stepped into the hallway from the door, her feet stomping against the shiny hardwood floors. Each step thudding through the house, she stopped, something was off. Something was different. Michaels jacket, an expensive black zip up canvas number was gone. So he wasn’t home. But it was more than that.

All his shoes were gone, pictures that had hung on the wall, ones of Michaels family dating back to the turn of the 20th century had been taken down. She swallowed hard moving through to the kitchen. Furniture had gone, small nick nacks  too had been taken. And a piece of paper sat on the middle of the black marble countertop with a set of keys ontop. She shook her head and reached out opicking it up, reading the words in Michaels voice.

Violet.

I knew you’d be at work and I didn’t want to face you. Please don’t think of me as a coward. I just knew it would hurt as both too much. This issue has been a continued thorn in both of our sides and refuses to go away. We both want to be happy. We both want what is best for us. And from the moment I met you, you have been determined to turn your life around but you didn’t know how. I’d like to think I had some small part in that.

You are an amazing woman. Strong and powerful. You don’t need a relationship to make you happy. You don’t need someone in your life to validate you. But, as I said. We both need to be happy. And this wasn’t working for either of us.

I’m putting the house on the market in two months time. That should give you plenty of time to find somewhere.

Please take care of yourself. I love you.

-Michael

And there it was, her hands started to shake, her eyes glazed over with tears. He had really done it. It wasn;’t an empty threat. It had been the end and he really left her. She placed the picture back down, she put the keys to the side. She moved across the kitchen and pushed out a chair that sat against the rund dinner table in the center of the room slowly sitting down. That was it. There were no more arguments. No more what if. It was done. And now there wasn’t any anger or happiness. No more frustration or amusement. All that was left now was the cold, sick empty feeling deep in her stomach.

She closed her eyes, her fingertips traced around the table and all she could think about was every single meal they shared. Every single laugh and every single tear. Her sons being happy and healthy in this house., The fact she was able to reconnect with them. To be the mother she always wanted to be. Rory and Ryan were here future, her past, they were her heart. But right now, she felt like she had let them down. That they now had to face more uncertainty. And that left her feeling one thing…

Empty

A feeling that hasn’t gone away since this happened.

”So, it became real?” She slowly nodded. Dr Whitlow scribbled down a few things and reached up taking off her glasses, staring across the room at Alicia who had not moved, her hands stayed clasped together, she leaned forward, her back was hunched and she looked defeated. She looked like she had already lost everything. That her entire life was now in the lowest point. Dr Whitlow tilted her head. ”Everything in life has a beginning and an end Violet.” Her voice was still quiet but had some authority added to it.

Alicia looked up through her long blond hair and shook her head. ”I know. Everyone knows that. You don’t think I don’t or that I can’t grow to accept this?”

Dr Whitlow pushed up to her feet, walking over to her desk and placing her hands on it. ”No…No I don’t think you can” The words cut Alicia deep, her jaw trembled as she opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Not one word, not one noise. Instead Dr Whitlow turned around looking right at her. Her face distorted and angry. ”When you first came here we went through everything. From your father leaving, him coming back into your life only to die and leave you in the ultimate move of abandonment. We talked about Chris, Travis and Kaden. Men who used you and abused you in different ways and tried to hold you to some kind of standard to please them…”

She stepped forward and Alicia had no idea what to say, her heart raced and she started to panic. ”Stop..” For a moment the room changed, everything felt like it was closing in on her, everything felt old and like it was falling apart. It felt wrong somehow.

”Leaving Michael. It was the right thing to do but you couldn’t see it. He was holding you down and trying to control you.” She moved closer. Alicia started to hyperventilate. Looking up to the ceiling where the patches she had noticed before had grown. Black mold, cracking paint. ”It was the right thing for you both but you were to weak to pull the fucking trigger…..when will you be the woman you were meant to be?...”

Something broke. Something deep inside Alicias mind snapped like a dry twig. ”Enough!..” She looked up as spit flew from her mouth. But, there was nothing. The room was dark now. Quiet and broken down. She tilted her head. The Doctor was gone, The pictures were gone. The desk was falling apart, the light fixtures has spiderwebs on them. Alicia moved to her feet, backing toward the door, she moved out into the hallway, the nameplate on the door faded and destroyed.

It was all in your head.

The Queen is Dead.

”Undefeated”

She couldn’t help but laugh. One simple word. One word that will no doubt send tongue wagging as evetryone else in the match will stumble over themselves to disprove it. But, context is key.

”In 2022 Alicia Fucking LuKas is undefeated. And, when do we stop thinking that this is a good start to it being a fully fledged rejuvenation or resurrection? Hmm? When do we stop thinking this is just me being lucky and maybe JUST MAYBE Alicia Lukas is back hmmm? I know some of you will say that I never really went away. That a few injuries have given me a stop start kind of time but I never really went anywhere. But, the truth is much more complex than that. See, when I first came to SCW. When Honor was bought and absolved into this company, I had a chip on my shoulder. See, I dominated that company. Ask Mercedes Vargas”

“That squeaky hipped old bitch tried everything she could to stop me.”

“In the end I owned all the gold. I was the companies biggest star. Beating and destroying everyone they had put in the ring against me. Legacy champion and then Honor champion. There was nothing that could be done. So imagine my surprise when the rumblings of Honor being sold were true and my new employers and the new company seemed to give zero shits about me. So yeah, that chip on my shoulder got real fucking salty real fucking quick. So I went about verbally destroying opponents before physically destroying them. And that worked out very very well for me.”

“Howver..”

“Somewhere along the way I lost that. I started getting the respect I felt I deserved and I became complacent. I became this competitor that talked about respect and honor and how the bo,bshells division needed to be better and that I wanted to drag everyone up with me. I wanted them all on my level. Hell I said it last climax control when I beat Sam Marlowe. I respected Roxi, where did that get me? I respected Seleana. Where did that get me? I respected Keira. And same thing again. I wont say there aren’t women that have earned that place…but…well..”

“I need to be more selective, cause most of you aren’t worth shit…”

She turns her upper lip upward curling it as she folds her arms over her chest.

”Last year I won the Queen for a day. And I promptly challenged for the Bombshells title. Something that so many took issue with. Like they wouldn’t have done it if they had won. And spoiler, if I win this, I’ll fuckin do it again. Roxi or Myra, it doesn’t matter. I’m coming for that title. And last year, Last year at Into the void 10 I walked in and beat Vargas, Pierce and Kwan. And this year. Well, this year there’s different faces but the goal remains the same. A ladder, a crown and the only way to win is to beat your opponents down to the point you can climb up there and get it. You snatch that crown down and you get to plan a future Climax control.”

“You get to hold your fate right ino your own hands. And, times past I might tease going for the Internet or Roulette titles. Something I hadn’t held before but, truth is this time, I’m straight up telling y’all. I won, I’m going for that world title. I’m going to get that damn thing back and become a four time champion. To reclaim my glory and in a moment of irony…get my crown…”

“The old Alicia Lukas is back. And may god have mercy on your souls.”

“See, somewhere along the line I lost myself. But, I can’t just sit back anymore. Everyone knows what kind of woman I am and what I asm capable of. And last year I had that golden opportunity and I failed. But this year? Well, this match is the first step. And to take another step I have to climb those rungs. And as a bonus I get to stomp three women who shouldn’t even be in this match, one kid who has alot to learn and a woman who is one of the few left I would consider to be a real rival.”

She sighs heavily, stepping forward and putting her hands in the pockets of her black jeans.

”Kiera Fisher-Johnson. You just can’t help it can you? You just can’t help but get involved in this scene despite the fact you’ve already proved yourself to be more of a joke than anyone else in this company. See, woman like Char Kwan and Bea Barnhart might be in that same level of stupidity where they say outlandish things, much like you, but while they are looked at as jokes and simply names on a page you have somehow been able to rain man your fucking way into being a former world champion. And now look at you. Here you are trying to win this Queen for a day match to…do what exactly?”

“Waste everyone elses time again? What are we going to see Keira? Are we going to see you and Roxi in a domestic violence rematch? Sign me up for that snoozefest where your wife beats your ass for another 20 minutes. We;ve seen it before. Or are you going to go for the roulette title or the internet title to try and put forth some false narrative of you being in a “power couple”? I mean you coulkd do that or simply…do nothing.”

“Either way Keira, I want to win this match as much for myself and what I want as I do to stop you.”

“I mean team hero. What a joke. And your little wrestling school? What are you going to do Keira? Hmm? Roxi can teach people how to be a champion. You? What can you do? Teach young and aspiring wrestlers how to stand in someones shadow? Just typical really You and your idiot wife go to do something I have already done bigger and better. Wolfslair is a gym of champions. Not just SCW champions but champions from all over the world. Your little training camp gym bullshit? It’s just something else you’ll fail at. Just like you fail at being a wife, a mother and any type of human being with substance.”

“Oh no..did I offend you? Will we see your alter ego Sinn that you always threaten us with when you lose your smile and realise you’re losing relevancy? Fuck off Keira….go be a manager, go home and look after your brat and let the real wrestlers fucking wrestle…”

She can’t help but sneer and shake her head. Unable or unwilling to hide her utter disappointment and disdain about Keira.

”And speaking of women who like to pretend to be wrestlers instead of thots. How you doin Sam? Recovered from the beating I gave you yet? Starting to realise everything I said about you is true? You know the problem with having nothing to prove Sam? It means that there is no heart and soul in your life. See, you have been a champion, you are a half of famer, kind of. But that doesn’t mean anything if you’tre not willing to have that heart and passion for this business. And if you dfon’t have that anymore. If you don’t have anything left to prove to me, the others in this matchm, the fans, the bosses or yourself then what the fuck are you doing here?”

“I have everything to prove. I have to prove to the fans that I’m still that fucking killer that walked in here, I have to prove to Mark and Christian that I am worthy of holding the bombshells division in my hands and on my shoulders, something you have never done.. I have to prove to each and every one of you that I should be feared and I need to prove to myself and I still that damn good…”

“See, you just don’t have that fear of me anymore. And that..well that I can’t stand..”

“Before our one on one match you ran your mouth alot about me. About me lacking relevancy or the fact I apparently leach off the other members of wolfslair. And, as always you entirely miss the point Sam. Will you give me respect for whooping your ass? Cause I doubt it. You’ll do what everyone else of your ilk does and you’ll simply…ignore it…But when I beat the hell out of you, when I place that fucking crown on my head for the SECOND year in a row and I go on to challenge Roxi or Myra for the title. Well…your words will be as hollow as the balloon sitting on your neck…”

Alicia throws her hands in the air and shakes her head.

”But, then there’s the Australian bombshells Kristal Wolfe. The only one of the three I can give the smallest amount of respect to. See Krystal broke all kinds of records. Longest Roulette title reign, most defenses. Damn Krystal. You really made the roulette title matter. Congrats, really. I mean you found out the samer thing I did that when you make a title mean something and you lose it to Keira Fisher Johnson the title instantly becomes meaningless so I can convaless with you on that. I can admit that you are a step above the usual trash that seems to loiter around the bombshells division. And I have no idea what you’ll do if given the chance to get that crown.”

“Queen Krystal…”

“It seems like you have suffered from the post title hangover. A little lost in what you want to do huh? I get it. I’ve been there Krystal. I know tbhoise feelings. And things will get alot worse before they get better. Unless you win this match. And who knows maybe you’ll surprise us all and do well. But, then again, this match is bigger than anything else you’ve done.”

“I’m sorry but beating Bea Barmhart and Maki doesn’t really inspire fear ya know?”

“But you could change all that. You could climb the ladder, get thatcrown and then call your shot. You could go back for the roulette title, go for the internet title or even the bombshells. Or, settle a score with someone. Lick say, the waste of skin who beat you for the roulette title to begin with and then lost it right away because she has the championship credentials of a mentally handicapped chipmunk?....Either way…to win this match you still have to get through me..and I won’t gfeel bad about stopping you…”

She scoffs and shakes her head before relaxing a little.

”That is something OI can’t say about Bella Madison. See, I win this match and I will have a small feeling of sadness in my heart for her. But, it’s the only way you’ll learn Bella. See, little bird, I love and respect your mother. Laura is one of the best in the ring and she hasn’t got the respect she has deserved. Not by a long shot. And you? Well, you are looking at carving your own path in SCW. In the mixed tag division next to Mal or by youtrself, you come into the company and the building each time you’re booked and leave it all on the line. That is the Wolfslair way. To put it all on the line and that is something people like Keira, Sam and Krystal do not understand. It’s something they can’t understand.”

“But you Bella. You know what it takes and the sacrifices that need to be made. And I can;’t say that if I did see you climb that ladder and become the queen I wouldn’t shed a tear of pride and want to embrace you in a hug and congratulate you.”

“Howveer…while I can admit that…I also have to tell you I don’t see it happening…”

“I love you Bella. I do. I have watched you train like a monster week in and week out., I have heard you talk about wanting to ydo your parents proud, your gym proud and yourself proud. But if you think for one second the soft spot I hve for you and your family in my heart will stop me from winning this match and doing whatever it takes to do so, well, you haven’t been paying attention. Thing is, I think you have. I think you know the lengths I’ll go to. And I don’t think the others do. I don’t think they know what I am willing to do to them when I am willing to snap your leg in half to win this….and don’t think I won’t…”

She swallows hard, adjusting her attitude and trying to get back into it. Her eyes close, she takes in a deep breath and cracks her neck, coming to the main event as it were…

”Amber Ryan. Oh man. You know, I sat there thinking about things I could say about every single woman in this match. Faults to point out, failures to bring up and throw in their faces. Mind games. But you? With you that is so damn hard. See, you are a woman that commands respect. Commands it. I can ignore what Keira, Sam and Krystal have done in their careers, I can point and laugh because I can find fault with all of them. Keira being in Roxi’s shadow, her inability to actually defend a title. Sam failing to get her former glory and being a passenger in a division and company that has passed her by. Krystal being unproven in the bigger stage…”

“And of course..Bella not living up to her parents promise,..”

“But you? You Amber Ryan are so fucking hard to find fault with aside from personal issues with your asshole husband but, are they really relevant to this situation. See, a year ago Amber I won this match and I then sat backstage and watched you dismantle Ruby Steele to keep the Bombshells title. And I cheered you on. Not because I particularly like you, not because I despise Ruby…although both of those reasons helped. Hell if I wanted the easy match I would have been disappointed you won...”

“No Amber…I cheered you on because then I knew I was going to get what I wanted.”

She laughs to herself and nods slowly letting her tongue tun over her teeth.

”I was going to get my one on one match with you. For that title. And, I failed. You beat me. And, I have tried so hard not to be petty or to let my emotions get to me. But the truth is. I can’t. I can’t hold it all back and you need to understand why. For all your success and everything you’ve been able to do for SCW and the division you need to understand something. Whether you wanted to, meant to or even were aware of it. You have taken EVERYTHING from me…”

“And I fucking hate you for it…”

“You are now the most respected and feared. You held the title longer than me, you made more defences than me. You have taken it all including being the scourge of the Zdunich family and the Johnsons. You took it all from me. And this, this Amber is the last fucking thing I have. The queen for a day. See, I want to win, not just so I can book  myself into a world title opportunity and go after whoever is the champ after into the void 11. But also to stop you from being able to claim that crown and take the LAST FUCKING THING I have over you. I think you of all people should understand how hard it is for me to admit that, to bare my soul.”

“So I’m coming for that crown. I’m coming for it to take my rightful place at the head of the division and to get that title back. And yes…I’m coming for it to stop…you…”

The Legal Problem

He had so much to do. He had friends to help, a house to renovate, children to raise, friendships to keep in focus, but all of it had to wait for this. There are some things in life that are just more important – times where you need to be there for certain people in need to do things and go above and beyond what you would for anyone else.

This was one of those times for Austin. It was a day that he and his sister had both been dreading. A day where they would have to justify their legal battle against the parents of Amy’s ex, the grandparents of her son.

Austin let out a deep sigh, his hands moving up to push the top of his tie towards his collar, pulling down on the shorter thinner part of it. He took a step back and looked at himself in the mirror. He wore a custom tailored black suit, a tie tucked into his suit blazer as he did the buttons at the front. His long hair tied back and kept in a mid level bun and his beard trimmed.

He gave himself a nod, trying to build up his confidence.

But the truth was he didn’t have any. He was going into a courtroom to support his sister, and while she was of a normal size and build, a beautiful girl but also normal looking, Austin was far from normal. Six foot six and a hulking build. Muscles upon muscles. Long hair and a beard with a look in his eye that made most people fear him.

But he made a promise. He turned and looked down at his shoes, the black leather shining as he gave a small smile. His father would’ve loved the shoes, and the suit. All the times that Christian had tried to get Austin to dress up and this was only the second time he could bring himself to do it. First time with his wedding, the day that he and Lisa were joined together as a family. And now this time. A time to support the only other person on earth that really knew what it was like to grow up the way he did. His sister who had gone through so much and made so much progress yet still had been dragged down to a level that was beneath them both.

That was a dark time in her life; a rebellion to reclaim adolescence that she felt she never truly had after being locked away. Amy had gone on her own pilgrimage of self-discovery. She fell in love with the wrong man, and the result of that was the birth of the child. The child that was not brought into the world because of love but a child who was now loved. He had a loving mother, a loving aunt, a loving uncle and cousins ready to grow up with him like they were siblings.

The bathroom door clicked and swung open. Lisa stepped in. Her hair done, wearing a beautiful dress and grabbing a jacket so she would cover up most of her tattoos. A small smile came across her lips as she tilted her head looking at her husband up and down before placing her finger on her bottom lip.

Austin just shook his head and folded his arms over his large chest. ”See something you like?” He couldn’t help but laugh, Lisa blushed and shook her head. A small smile coming across Austin slipped now as he was impressed with his ability to still make his wife look at him like a nervous teenager.

Lisa stepped forward reaching up to check Austin's tie. She stood just under his chin even in her six inch heels. Lisa was a tall woman, but when it came to her husband, she always seemed to be dwarfed by his large frame. Austin leaned forward, planting a kiss on Lisa‘s lips that was meant to be a small moment of affection. Lisa wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and pushed herself against him, kissing him deeply.

After a few moments Austin pulled back and smiled.“Unfortunately we have somewhere to be.”

Lisa chuckled and gave her husband a small nod. She turned and left the door before looking over her shoulder one last time. “I know you’re nervous. I get it . I can see it in your eyes. But...Amy needs you today…” Austin sighed hard and bowed his head. A second later, he looked in the mirror one last time as Lisa stepped out of the room.

She was right. He was nervous. He was going into a courtroom, with lawyers and a judge. The person, the people, who were going to hold the future of Amy and her child in their hands. And Austin was expected to be the star character witness when it came to Amy and who she was. He knew all the things that they could bring up, but didn’t know what they would choose to use. Amy’s past had always been something contentious, as it could have been with any massive family. Christian trying to hide what she had done, Austin finding the truth, but Amy not being able to accept it and wanting to grow in her life and have her own outlook.

The past was never the past. It could always come back and hurt you. And that is what Austin was worried about. Her past coming back to hurt her, Amy not being able to have that second chance that she had fought tooth and nail for. That is what Austin had to do. He had to stand there and be honest and tell every single person who would listen and convince them that Amy was not just a suitable mother, but she was an excellent one.

He felt pressure.

Austin closed his eyes taking a long deep breath. He held it in his lungs as his mind flashed backwards and forwards for everything he had done. His own life and his own struggles. Losing his mother, losing his father, fighting for his sister. The alcohol abuse, the abusive ex, everything he had gone through and grown through. He was strong enough to do this.

And he refused to let his sister down.

Godly

”Eenie meenie miney mo, Max Burke tried to beat me that was way too slow.”

Austin can’t help but chuckle to himself. He raises his right hand, moving his hair from his face and sliding it behind his ear before stepping forward and putting his hands in the front pocket of his jeans. A black and red Wolfslair shirt proudly on display.

”I told you all. I told you that as good as Max was, if he wanted to keep climbing that ladder and get back to a World Championship opportunity against Mac, he would have to go through me first. He would have to show me and all of you, as well as management that he was ready to shoulder the possibilities and pressure of being in the Main Event at this company. Not everyone can handle that kind of pressure. I can handle that kind of pressure, Ben Jordan can handle that kind of pressure. Alex can handle that pressure and so can Fenris. And as much as I hate to admit it, Mac has also proven himself as a champion worthy of being the one to hold the entire company on his shoulders.”

“Max Burke was not ready to stand in the spotlight. But the question is still hanging over me like a dark cloud. Where do I go from here? Where does my destiny lie in this company? I could turn my focus towards Mac and work my way up to a single one-on-one opportunity for that world championship. After all, the old adage is that if you are not in professional wrestling to be the champion and prove that you are the best thing…you should not be here.“

“However, I have already been to the top of the mountain. I stood there and watched as everyone was scrambling over themselves trying to get at me. That is another thing that so many people are not prepared for – they are not prepared for the target that you have painted on your back when you are a champion. As a world champion, a mixed tag team champion as well as the Internet champion of this company, I knew what it was to hold those championships and have everyone gunning for me.“

“It is the same everywhere you go. It is easier for you to win a championship that it often is to keep it and if you look at the championship history of Sin City Wrestling, with every single championship, there have been so many names on that list where they did not deserve to be the champion. They didn’t deserve to win it and they prove that by losing it in less than a month or in their first defense.”

Austin folds his arms over his chest with a small smile coming across his lips.

“That hasn’t been my problem. When I have held the championship I have made damn sure that I do that title proud. I did it with the honor championship before I came to this company. When I became the world champion I did everything I could to uphold the quality that those before me had set. I did it with the Internet Championship and I made that championship with something and every single champion who has been held since has failed miserably to live up to my standard. Tempest and I held those mixed tag team championships of pride and tried to face and beat everyone who stepped in front of us.”

“I am what you would call…a beast.“

“Six-six, two-sixty-five. I can move like someone a hundred pounds lighter than me, I can throw anyone in this company around the ring. I am not someone to be taken lightly and I’d like to think that my opponent this week isn’t stupid enough to make that kind of mistake. Ken Davison.”

“A Man who exemplifies the term ‘veteran’.”

“I know you can. I know that you have been a huge name in so many of the companies that you’ve been in. Hell, you were even a very brief tag team partner for Alex.. to say that you have been everywhere and done everything is an understatement. Championships and huge matches and pay-per-view numbers. The whole wrestling world had to you want to play because of how good you are.”

He flashes a smile and a respectful nod. His head tilted to the side as he contemplated what to say next.

”And all the respect that you are given in this company and anywhere else you go is definitely earned. I’m not oblivious to the fact that I cannot and will not take you lightly. I know you could beat me, I might be a lot bigger than you, stronger than younger than you and in this company had more success than you, but I am not going to fall into the same trap that so many others do and discount your past and who you are as a human being and a person. Despite anything you have said and your actions, you are most definitely someone who should be respected.”

“You could be the World Champion here. You are definitely good enough but I don’t think that some of the people in this company give you enough credit. From aligning yourself with Mac to winning the Internet Championship, you have shown your work. However, you are also one of the people who failed to take the Internet Championship and bring it to the heights that I did when I held it.”

“I can’t say I’m not disappointed.”

“That championship holds a special place in my heart. This company announced that it was coming back active and I was the first man to hold it since it was reinstated. I knew that that championship needed a strong champion to push it forward and to make it as our prize and that’s exactly what I did. I had that target on my back and I defended it through anyone and everyone only to watch that championship that was handed to people and get passed around. Then, you won it.”

Austin closes his eyes and takes a deep breath calming himself.
 
”And for a brief shining moment I thought that the championship was going to be held by someone who would take it on a long run and restore the prestige that I have tried to give it. But, two months later you lost it to Jack Washington. There is no love lost between myself and Jack, despite the fact that he has been the World Champion at this company twice. The truth is he is still the same snot-nosed little disrespectful piece of shit that he’s always been.”

“He doesn’t know the meaning of respect.”

“But I do Ken...”

“I plan on showing you. You see, I’m going to give you the respect that you deserve by walking down to that room punching you in the mouth as hard as I can. I’m going to give you the respect you deserve by treating you exactly the same as I treat everyone else I face. I am coming for the win,I am coming to kick you right in the head, pick you up and powerbomb you to the mat, drive the air from your body so you can’t breathee. And being a veteran I’m going to guess that you felt that before.”

“The feeling of all the air being pushed out of your lungs. Staring up at those lights not being able to breathe in and not being able to feel like you can live. It is a horrible feeling. And it’s one we all have to live with, one being a professional in this business. As good as you are, I need this. And I like you. I do. I like your outlook on the business, I like your ruthless determination and pursuit of greatness. But I like winning more. So at Climax Control, you are gonna see what it’s like to face someone who was one of the most dominant champions this company has ever had. And I hope you’re ready, because you will need to be.”

Session 18: The beginning of the end

”So, we haven’t talked about Michael”

”There’s a reason for that”

She delivered the line bluntly. No emotion, no hesitation. Just a flat delivery with a raised eyebrow. Dr Whitlow huffed under her breath and scribbled on the paper. Alicia just shook her head and turned looking toward the door. Her hands clasped together as she let out an indignant grunt. Something felt off, different. Something in Alicia had changed. The last few months, seeing her Doctor, they had helped.

Confronting things from her past, all the ghosts and demons, it made her realise who she was. Not a victim of her mistakes, but a product of them. It had given her a fresh outlook, but this was one road she didn’t feel the need to walk down. One that she didn’t want to. The wound was still open and fresh, still bleeding. And it made her uneasy, uncomfortable. And it was in a way that she didn’t want to controint. But, that never stopped Whitlow.

”Violet” Her name. It inflamed her anger. Her fists clenched as she folded her arms over her chest. A few deep breaths and she was able to calm herself down. ”Michael is the last barrier. The last moment in your life that is causing you regret. If you face it…you’ll be able to move on..”

”From what?”

Her bright blue eyes trailed up to look the aging woman in the face. Dr Whitlow. Someone who Alicia had looked up to for the last few months, someone she had grown close to now seemed to look like what she was. A frail old woman. ”If you examine what happened, maybe you can mend the rift.” Her voice trailed off. Alicia pushed herself up from the chair moving around the office.

She refused to lay down, refused to revisit this as deeply as Dr Whitlow wanted. Infact she was holding it back,m pushing it down into the pit of her stomach. She ground her teeth together and growled. Whitlow shook her head and took her glasses off, putting them on the desk next to her. ”I thought I was supposed to confront my failures…this wasn’t MY failure. And there it was, the reason why she refused to walk down that path, to confront this one. In her mind she hadn’t done anything wrong.

Dr Whitlow stayed calm, her hands sitting in her lap as she tilted her head, her long salt and pepper hair tied back and clipped high. Her eyes, a similar shade of blue to Alicias seemed to glow as she sighed. ”It was still a pivotal moment…and one you havn’t talked about. Michael was the reason you came here….and three months ago your marriage all but ended…” She sat higher in her chair, relaxing her shoulders. ”So let’s examine why…”

There was a tense moment of silence between them. Alicia looked away and shook her head. After some time, she turned and gave a nod to the old woman. Still not happy about this, but understanding why, she sat down, leaning forward on her own knees, balancing her elbows as she clasped her hands together again, her golden locks dangling down as she took in a long deep breath. ”He….always wanted another child…maybe even a girl…”

His touch was soft and tender, his strong jaw lines framing a youthful face that betrayed his age and wisdom. His fingertips danced along her cheekbone, sliding her hair behind her ear as he leaned in to kiss her. The laughter of her sons stopped the moment. Rory and Ryan ran passed with a few other children they had made friends with. The park was full, families were out enjoying the sunshine. Alicia smiled watching them, Michael sat up and grabbed a bottle of water twisting the top and handing it to Alicia. She raised it and winced before switching from her right arm to the left.

”How long until you see the orthopedic surgeon?” Alicia shrugged as she took a sip, Michael shook his head and pulled his knees to his chest. ”Are you even going to? Or are you just going to rehab it and hope for the best?” Alicia shot him a look and sighed, Michael shook his head back and put his hand on top of hers to get her attention. Frustrated by her unwillingness to answer his questions. ”Are you afraid? Afraid that they’ll tell you it’s time to retire?...would that be so bad Ali?”

”No…I mean, yes. I’d be sad but….if I had to give it up I could.” She was lying. Michael knew it. He could see it in her eyes.

He looked over at the boys and smiled calmly, his demeanor changing as he squeezed her hand again. ”If you couldn’t, or if surgery would limit your movement and do more damage….would retiring be that bad?. We could..try for a baby.” And there it was. Michael and Alicia had talked about this before. When they got married he asked if she wanted more children, at the time she said yes, but as the months moved on to years Alicia realised that she had so much more to do, to accomplish.

Things she couldn’t do if she took two years off to have another child.

Michael stared, his eyes asking the same question over andf over. Alicia closed her eyes, she wanted to tell him, she needed to tell him. She got the courage up into her chest and turned to him. But the second she looked into her eyes, she faltered. ”I….” He tilted his head, squeezing her hand again as she looked down at their wedding rings, sitting on top of one another as their hands stayed locked. She moved back up to his face, leaning in for a small kiss on his lips, pulling back with a tender smile. ”I’ll talk to them Monday. And I’ll see what my options are. Maybe it is time. But I just don’t know…”

She smiled weakly, it was her trying to pass off how she felt. Michael swallowed hard, his smile faded, his shoulders dropped and his back arched. He was clearly upset. But, he hid it. He pushed it down and gave Alicia a small smile and a njod before leaning forward and placing his forehead against hers with a laugh. ”If you and I are meant to have a child then..I guess it’s in fates hands right?” Alicia smiled and gave another nod. Rory and Ryan laughed. Alicia looked over at them, the other children laughing and smiling.

Part of her wanted it.

But, another part of her didn’t…

”You could have told him then…”

Dr Whitlow sighed heavily, Alicia cleared her throat and shrugged turning toward her. ”Yeah, I could have. But part of me didn’t really know, or didn’t want accept it.” She looked away again, closing her eyes as she remembered the pain, the pain in her shoulder, the pain in her heart. That moment, where she could of broken Michzaels heart but maybe saved her marriage. ”I love…loved him. I did…but sometimes that just isn’t enough.”

She paused, that was a moment in time, but not the moment. Dr Whitlow finished her note, put the pad down and sighed with a shake of her head, removing her glasses and rubbing her tired o0ld eyes. ”Next time…I need you to tell me what ended it…can you do that?...it’s the only way you can know if you really want to be a wife in the future..or a mother.”

Alicia ground her teeth and turned, a switch had been flipped and she stepped toward Dr Whitlow, leaning down to get to the old woman face. ”I am going to make one thing, ONE FUCKING THING perfectly clear. I was happy as a wife, and I am a great mother. I love my sons, I would DIE for them. But nobody, not my mother, my father, my ex boyfriends or husbands, or my kids…or YOU…can tell me what I am supposed to do with my goddamn life…”

The situation seemed out of control, Alicia felt rhe anger in her build up, her head ached and felt as if someone was squeezing her temples. She stepped back, her hands were shaking. Dr Whitlow stood up and smiled with a small nod raising her hands up/ ”It’s alright Alicie…it’s alright…..go home..get some rest…we can pick this up next time…” Alicia swallowed hard again and gave a nod, moving passed D rWhitlow, she was so tired, so tired of all of it.

She just wanted to sleep….

A melted Candy

”You’re all blind….which is ironic isn’t it?”

Alicia sighs heavily, her hands moving up through her long blond hair as she grunts and pushes herself up to her feet.

”I have told you all that she is evil. That she is someone who cannot and must not be trusted. But do any of you listen to me? Do any of you take what I say as truth? See the last few months I have been dedicated to eradicating not just stupidity but undue arrogance from Sin City Wrestling. Now, I know there are questions about Wolfslair and our future. Let me be very clear about this. Wolfslair as an idea, as a gym, as a movement will always be there. But, as group? Well that is different.”

“Thing is, I have never needed that side of it. Alicia Lukas is a star, a bright shining star and one of the best professional wrestlers on this goddamn planet. And when I am done wiping Candy off the bottom of my boot I will turn my attention back to what I deserve. What I need.”

“The Sin City Wrestling Bombshells title.”

“See, for the last few months I have been lost. Wandering around in a haze of not remembering who and what I am while also allowing myself to just simply, exist. Think about that, one of the most dominant women in this company and I was happy to just exist. See that’s what this business does to you. It chews you up, it spits you out. It forces you to no longer be special. And that’s the thing, there are only a handful of women in this company that feel special.”

She laughs to herself. Shaking her head as the realisation hits her.

”Amber, Roci, Myself, Andrea, Myra. We all feel special. Like we have accomplished things that so many others have struggled to do. But Andrea is fading, Roxi has had to pull herself back up in resurrection after getting her tenth or eleventh shot at Amber. And AMber herself. A woman who broke my records. What does she do now? Where does she go? Everyone else in this company who has felt special, Mikah, Dani even Crystal at one point, they have all fallen into mediocrity. And I was letting it happen to me…”

“And I will be really honest with all of you. I was not okay with that. Not at all. So, as I stood and watched a woman who has nothing special about her get handed the fucking keys to SCW my stomach tuened. Candy got to make decisions that impacted people who were infinitely more talented than her. She got to make stupid matches with stupid stimpulations that made a fool of mpeople like myself. Real wrestlers, real women who live and breathe for the combat. Candy got to try and make us all look foolish.”

“And we all had to sit there and eat it.”

“Learn to love the taste of shit indeed.”

“And I have had to watch this idiotic piece of shit stumble through her career and somehow stay employed, stay popular and in some cases succeed. All while doing things that if others did, they’d get vilified for. Straight up made into pariahs and destroyed. Yet, she does what she wants. Little miss Candy is so innocent and so amazing right? The glitter is nothing but a fun little gimmick that is just so fucking pretty and doesn’t hurt anybody…”

She rolls her eyes and throws her hands in the air. Alicia’s look, demeanor and attitude in stark contrast to Candy. Alicia's long blond hair flowing down her back and shoulders, down her leather biker jacket and black T-shirt with the logo of the Swedish rock band Ghost.

”Until it does. And not only does the glitter present a danger to your eyes but, it is a cheat. It’s a cheap cheating move that everyone turns a blind eye to. An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind right? Well Candy is not going to get revenge on me. She is not going to get her pound of flesh and walk away with a win. And why? Because Candy is simply not good enough. However, the fact that this has to take place with us both blindfolded is fitting but also a joke.I would love to see what I am going to do to Candy…cause everything I am prepared to do…is well worth it…”

“She’s a joke, and not even a funny joke that can be passed off as fun or charming. She is the type of joke your aging Aunt tells you when you’re five years old that you cackle like a lunatic at. Only to still be her go to joke when you’re 12 years old…that you now roll your eyes and and just want to stop hearing.”

“She’s such a bad joke, Will Smith is warming up his pimp hand as we speak…”

“Is that topical enough for y’all? But the fact remains, Candy is someone who so many of us can’t stand. From the happy go lucky attitude, to the stupid glitter, to her ugly fucking dog, the truth with Candy is that she isn’t talented so she has to use this stupid shit to stay relevant in a world that has moved on from rainbows and unicorn farts.”

She speaks through gritted teeth, her bright blue eyes flash with fire and anger. She slams her fist on the table, it causes the can of Monster energy on the table to shake.

”And the worst part about you Candy? You can’t even stand up for yourself. You were in a match in the blast from the past and your focus was on me. Well, Marcus' focus was on me. And he was the one who unleashed a tirade on me. You left lame traps ansd smiled and did you usual idiot behavior. Meanwhile your husband decided to run his mouth. And the truth is Candy, there is a small amount of truth in what he said.”

“I am jealous of you.”

“I am jealous of the fact that you can be such a huge joke, do stupid things that would get others thrown out and somehow get handed opportunities week in and week out. I am jealous of the fact you are universally loved when all you do is make a fool of yourself and a mockery of the wrestling business. Everything you do is a offense to me and people like me. Women who bleed and sweat and dedicate themselves to the purity of professional fucking wrestling.”

She shakes her head and looks away, growling under her breath before looking up, her nostrils flare as she tilts her head.

”I hate you…I hate you with everything I am.”

She pauses again letting her words sink in before standing up straight and folding her arms over her chest.

”Blindfold or not, joke or not I am going to get in that ring and do everything I can to hurt you, to break you and to put my mark on this business again. Because you Candy are nothing but a stepping stone back to where I need to be, where I deserve to be. This isn’t about the internet title, the mixed tag team titles or the roulette titles. No, not at all. This is all to bring me back up to that one title that really matters, the championship that everyone wants to hold yet so few people are capable of.”

“The Sin City Wrestling bombshells title. A championship that will never, ever be in Candys possession. A title she can’t even get a shot at because she will never be good enough to pull herself to that level, to become the star that I am.”

“Honestly, Candy you should be thanking me. You should get on your knees and hand me all your goddamn skittles and junior mints and milk duds and whatever else you have because I am dragging you, kicking and screaming up the card to a higher level than you would ever. EVER. Reach on your own. Or with your idiot husband talking for you.”

“And trust me on this. If he utters my name again, I will drag his titred, broken down, needs viagra to compensate ass down to the ring and I’ll make him my bitch.”

“But, in Greece, you and I will have our eyes hidden, we will get in the ring and I will break you in half. Because that is what you deserve, that is what you need and that is what I want. Good luck Candy, you’ll need it against me.”

Session 16-Travis Blake and Kaden Kessler

”You mentioned how your relationships always failed…”

Alicia looked up, she shook her head thinking carefully before answering. ”I have no memory of that.” She answered dryly, Dr Whitlow raised an eyebrow and set her pad and pen down, she leaned forward clasping her hands together staring a hol right through Alicia. Truth is since opening up about Chris Cane, since accepting that maybe, just maybe the degradation and destruction of their marriage wasn’t all just on him, Alicia has been thinking about everything, dissecting the past and her role in everything.

And now Dr Whitlow wanted to go deeper into this, tear apart everything and put it back together giving a clearer picture of the truth that would lead to acceptance and growth. Alicia didn’t want to go down this road. Ignorance is bliss right? ”The only way we can get to the root of all your problems and try and move passed and manage them is to show you the truth,,,”

The truth

She ground her teeth together, shaking her head as she looked to the side, unable to make eye contact with Dr Whitlow, unable to even entertain the thought of it. She knew if she did Whitlow would see the doubt and trepidation. ”What if the truth is better left in the past? What if I’m healthier remembering events how I always have?” She finally looked up, right into Dr Whitlows eyes. The wrinkles around them softened as her demeanor changed.

The Doctor was ready to change tact. ”The saying “The truth will set you free” is a fallacy. We all know it. The truth will often lead you to more questions, but the questions are usually easier to answer.” Alicia took a deep breath giving her a nod before relaxing and laying back. Dr Whitlow grabbed her pad and the pen sitting back herself. ”After Chris Cane, you met someone else…what happened?”

What happened indeed.

The relationship with Travis Blake should never have happened. Even in the beginning Alicia knew it. A relationship born from him refusing to leave her alone. After the break up from Chris she should have taken time. Time for herself, time for her sons. Time to heal and feel better. But that isn’t what happened. The moment she became single, the moment the wrestling world knew it she was being pursued. And that is the downside of the wrestling business. You want something well known there’s the three ways of communication.

Telegram

Telephone

Tell-a-wrestler.

And the day after she separated from Chris, Travis was there. He hit up her DMs he got her phone number, he was tweeting her, messaging her and even tried calling her. She wanted to be polite, telling him that she was flattered but not ready. However, eventually she gave in. She went on a date with him, it went about as well as you’d expect. But he was persistent, he was determined. And because of that he was endearing. For months they saw each other, even working for the same company. And eventually she gave in. Alicia just folded, letting Travis call the shots in their relationship, they moved in together, it all went so fast and before Alicia knew it she was in the same position she was with Chris Cane…and she hated it.

”Why do you put up with that shit?” The voice of Kaden Kessler rang out across the locker room. Kaden was someone Alicia had known from the original Honor wrestling. Someone who had been on the main show when she was in developmental, they had been friends, kind of. But now after he supported her on social media and had gotten to know her they had grown closer. So close that Travis hated him. The jealousy was obvious.

And with good reason. Kaden was a womaniser. A playboy. He exuded that bad boy confidence that women fell for. Women including Alicia. He was six foot two, tattooed, dark hair that was slicked back. Alicia shook her head and folded her arms over her chest. ”I dunno Kess, every single time I get home I want to walk right back out again, it feels like he’s suffocating me all the time…”

Kaden shook his head moving around Alicia and sitting next to her, his hands clasping together as he let out a groan of frustration. ”Lic, he does this all the time. I’ve seen him backstage, on twitter and when you’re out with him, he’s clingy, he’s controlling. Why are you with him?” She turned trying to come up with an answer, but there was nothing there. She strained trying to justify it. But, there was nothing. And Kaden knew it. ”You’re trapped, and that just isn’t right for a woman like you, you have to be free Alicia…a free spirit…you’re too damn beautiful to be caged up…”

Her heart fluttered, he thought she was beautiful, or atleast that’s what he said, she looked into his eyes, they came close, and his lips met hers. And then, the door flew open, It was Travis ”WHAT THE FUCK ALICIA?”

”I wanted to give him a reason to leave.”

Alicia whispered as she opened her eyes, staring up at the ceiling. It was dirty, cracked, and the paint was stripping off. A stark contrast to the rest of the office that was clean and well maintained. ”So that reason was kissing another man when you knew he was around somewhere close?”

Alicia slowly nodded as she sat up, she let out a sigh and stretched her neck, rubbing it before standing up. ”It was a way out, only, it wasn’t. Even after that Travis wanted to “work things out” He wanted to try harder. So…I pushed him away harder..” She paused, she pushed her jaw together that made her teeth grind and scrape. ”I slept with Kaden….I knew it wasn’t going to go anywhere, I knew he was just there for sex, but I wanted Travis gone…I wanted him to no longer have a reason to want me…” She trailed off looking down.

Dr Whitlow scribbled a few lines down before looking up with a small smile ”Did it work?” Alicia swallowed and turned to her Doctor with a heavy sigh.

”...No…”

Another week, another contendership

”This is total bullshit”

Well, that is certainly an opener. Alicia Lukas, clearly pissed off and annoyed stomps back and forth, her long blond hair flowing and moving as she paces back and forth.

”I’m sure you all remember the last time you saw me, standing in the ring at High Stakes, facing Andrea and Keira for the i9nternet championship. A match that should have been one on one. See, Keira got handed a title shot, I took offense, I challenged Keira and beat her. And instead of the match changing from Keira and Andrea to myself and Andrea it became a triple threat match. And as per usual Keira dropped the ball. Something this woman does with an incredible amount of consistency. She dropped the ball with the Bombshells title after fluking her way into winning it…”

“She dropped the ball with every single thing she has ever done. When was the last time she had a title reign or a moment that meant anything? And this woman at the biggest show of the year, got pinned and beat and stopped me from winning the internet title. Then right after ran her mouth trying to get a rematch. Excuse me? Are you serious? If anyone deserved a rematch and a one on one shot it’s the woman who DIDN’T stare at the fucking lights.”

“But, that isn’t what happened is it?”

“No, instead of getting a one on one match against Andrea I have been put in a fourway contenders match. Another hoop to jump through when SCW should, quite honestly be begging for someone like me to face Andrea. And quite simply, Andrea should too. Andrea should be the one out there asking to face me since I’ve beaten her one on one, since I am the only one that could legitimise her reign. Think about it, she pinned Keira, big fucking whoop. Keira got handed a shot, she lost to me and then she failed and got beaten in a match that should never have happened….so now, I have to beat three other women to get the shot that I should have had to begin with…”

Alicia laughs to herself and rolls her eyes clearly still in a bad mood and angry.

”But that is the story of my life here right? I have been one of the most consistent performers in this company and most of my losses are in matches where I had no control over it. I have lost more matches by not even getting pinned than everyone else. And now I have to ask. Why are the other three here? Why have they been selected? I just had a match where I was in contendership for the title, I just got screwed by someone else losing the match, but these three? Are you kidding me? Jessie Salco? Are we just handing her opportunities again? Do you know hoiw little that Internet title would mean if Jessie Salco somehow became the number one contender for it?”

“I don’t think we want to give Andrea the night off that bad do we?”

“Lets face it, Jessie doesn’t have the best record in matches involving me. In fact, if I’m in the match it’s guaranteed that Jessie Salco isn’t going to win. She has never, ever won a match I have been involved in. Jessie has failed time and time again, yet while I succeed, while I stand in the ring against the best of the best week in and week out Jessie stumbles, falls and never learns from her mistakes. And this is someone we’re supposed to respect? This is so0meone we’re supposed to find endearing and want to succeed? No, I don’t think so…”

“Jessie, you can keep trying, you can keep turning up and facing people one on one, or tag matches or multi person matches, you can keep talking about how you’re not going to let it all get you down but in the end sweetheart you are nothing but a failure who can’t stop tripping over her own goddamn feet, so I need to stop you from fluking your way into a title shot…”

Alicia points at the camera as if pointing at Jessie with a sneer on her face.

”And you have to ask yourself, why is Seleana here? Don’t get me wrong, Sel is a great athlete and someone who week nin and week out tries as hard as she can, but why is she here? Why is she getting this opportunity after Bella beat her? Bella made her look unfocused and untalented. In fact that is the worst Seleana has looked in months. And this is what I was worried about with her. See, Seleana is talented, as I have said and will say time and time again. But she is happy coasting along. She is happy just smiling and waving to everyone and acting like the nicest girl on earth.”

“She never shows fire, she never shows anger, she never shows passion. We never get an angry or determined Seleana, all we get is the same happy go lucky smiling blonde bimbo. The same speeches, the same wannabe bullshit, week in week out. Wash rinse and repeat. And I’m tired of it Seleana. I am tired of waiting for you to stand up and actually show passion for this business. I am tired of putting faith and respect in you and on your name”

“Respect based off something you did years ago.”

“Respect based on the fact your idiot wife cost me a championship and you had the pride in yourself and in your career to give me a rematch right away. And after that failure you have just been the same person. Never evolving, never trying. Just being pretty little Seleana Zdunich. And to be honest, it’s time you stopped, it’s time you packed your shit and retired to go be a veterinarian or snail wrangler or whatever else you want to be..cause honey…a professional wrestler ain’t it..”

Alicia offers a shrug and shakes her head.

”And Dani, Dani Weston. Don’t think I forgot about byou. Even if most of the wrestling world has. When I first came into SCW you were the first big match I had. The first woman who stood in front of me and really showed me the type of competition I was lacking in that other company. See in Honor I had been so dominant for so long winning both their titles and holding them both at the same time I had forgotten what it was like to be pushes. Cause Jessie Salco sure as shit didn’t do it, Crystal didn’t do it and Mercedes Vargas fell to me real quick, but you? You stood in front oif me and offered up the kind of resistance I craved…”

“The kind I needed”

“I was ready to get in the ring with you and let you push me and that you did. You pushed me to my limits, you beat me, you took the SCW bombshells title out of my grasp as we went to unify the titles. And I was happy. I was happy because tasting defeat like that pushed me to be better. And I took the loss, I came back and I beat you. And that is the difference between us Dani. You beat me, I came back stronger, I beat you and your shining light started to fade away. You went from the “most improved” to being an afterthought. You never reached those heights again and slowly disappeared. Only to triumphantly resurrect your career recently by beating Mikah…”

“Another faded star…”

“And how did you celebrate Dani? You called yourself the “queenslayer” and promptly lost to Johanna Krieger, another member of Wolfslair. Wow. The great return. And now you get this opportunity. After coming back and beating Mikah who, lets face it, has seen better days…great. Sorry Dani, you’re running into a fucking bulldozer…all of you are…and I want my goddamn one on one match. And if I have to go through you three to do it…you damn sure better realise I will..”

Session 14: The Cowboy

”What about relationships?”

Oh no, here we go. One of the most touchy subjects in the life of Alicia Lukas. She looked up, her eyes trailing from the grey carpeted floor of Dr. Whitlow's office straight up to the good Doctor herself who was currently sitting in her chair. One leg crossed over the top of the other, a pen clutched in her right hand and her notepad in her left. The end of the pen moved up and down lightly tapping her cheek. She was unaware of the Pandora's box that she was just about to open. Alicia's heart sank. She knew where this was going and she also knew the type of story she was going to tell, the past that she thought should stay in the past. The issues that didn't matter to her life.Not like the ones with her mother, not like the ones with her children, not like the ones with her father. 

She closed her eyes, her head shaking from side to side as she took in a deep breath and pushed it out laughing behind it. The doctor raised an eyebrow, the pen stopping and moving down towards the pad as she jotted something down. ”There’s...there’s good news.” The words came out with a strong hint of sarcasm and indignation. Spitting with a little bit more venom than she had initially intended. The truth is, the doctor did not deserve that kind of response.Dr. Whitlow had been nothing but great to Alicia she had helped her through everything that she had needed to and the therapy was helping. As much as she fought it and as much as she tried to say that her life hadn't improved, the inner turmoil that had been raging for years had started to slow down.

”Wehn you came back from Japan, did you just meet your husba-”

Alicia's eyes closed as her hand went up. She swallowed, a large lump moving from her throat down to the pit of her stomach as she suddenly felt the need to get up and run. To find a nice quiet area where she could hold her stomach drop to the floor, curl up into the fetal position, and cry. Maybe even throw up. Tears started to form in her eyes as she looked down at her hand, her thumb lightly caressing the area where her wedding ring was. ”I….I was married before Michael.” She coughed to clear her throat. Looking up and pushing her chest out to straighten her back.

Whitlow just gave her a small nod trying to get Alicia to continue. She moved the pen back down writing a few more sentences before giving her a warm smile. ”Life is filled with romance. Some partners come and go from your life. I myself have been married twice.” That was surprisingly calming to Alicia. She wasn't stupid, Alicia knew that other people had been in relationships, she knew marriages failed, she knew people got themselves into relationships that hurt them, that destroyed them, that always played havoc on their mind. But Alicia had made so many mistakes in this regard. And now it was time to face them.

”Well, my first husband…”

She turned kicking her legs up as she lay on the couch. She stared at the ceiling before continuing. When Alicia had come back from Japan she had almost no money. She used a lot of it to get back,to set up a house,to buy a car and get all of her papers organized. Alicia knew she needed to find something, anything. That was when she took up a position with an upstart company, Honor Wrestling. This was going to be great. She thought to herself as the pen was put to paper. Alicia had never performed in her own country before. In front of American fans. Her entire career, her entire in-ring wrestling past was locked to one country, to one style.

But, Honor wrestling was not for the hardcore fanbase who researched people before they stepped into the ring. Honor wrestling was for the casuals. The people who loved to watch Saturday morning wrestling shows, The ones who thought American wrestling was the be-all-end-all of this business. So, her heart started to ache as the president of the company told her, to her face, as she was going to spend some time in their developmental territory legacy wrestling. A smaller company that would run spot shows in the same towns that Honor was in for that week. Against talent that was being brought up from the American independent scene, and house trained athletes who wanted to become what Alicia was. She could feel the anger rising up through the pit of her stomach. She wanted to flip them off, to walk away and go find another company that would properly utilize her talents and her past. 

But she needed the money.

She needed the money to fully set up her life, to get her children back, make sure that she could provide for her boys, and live the kind of life that they deserved and that she wanted. So, she swallowed her pride. And turned up to work. It actually wasn't bad. There were a lot of younger talents there eager to learn and eager to put on great shows and great matches. Eager to claw and scratch and fight for their positions.It was a feeling that Alicia knew all too well struggling in the Japanese dojos. But old habits die hard. After the second legacy wrestling show Alicia went out with friends, or the ones who she thought were her friends now that she had come to a new company. They were all excited knowing that the talents from the main show were going to be there at the same club at the same time. Alicia rolled her eyes as she got out of the cab with some of the other female talents. The way they acted drove her completely insane. No respect for the business, barely any respect for themselves.

Then again, they all got dressed up for the occasion. Wearing skimpy dresses, tight around the athletically toned bodies. High heeled shoes, their hair all done up. Alicia on the other hand stepped forward, her long blonde hair was down and brushed but not done in any special way with any kind of product. She wore a pair of tight acid-washed jeans, black and red converse, and a vintageMetallica master of puppets T-shirt. They got inside the club, the music pounding. The kind of music that Alicia hated, the kind of electronic bullshit that sounded like two Transformers fucking, and one of them had some kind of rust induced sexually transmitted disease

They all approached the bar. A tray of shots slid across in front of them. They all took one raising it into the air and downing it. They didn't even know where the shots came from. Every single one of them looked like they were about to throw up after taking it down. Everyone except Alicia. The whiskey moved smooth down past her throat. She shook her head with a smile before throwing her arms in the air turning to order herself another drink. But before the words could come out of her mouth,a southern accent and a deep voice boomed in front of her. ”What ys drinkin sweetheart? Another shot of courage?” She turned, pivoting on the balls of her feet as she came head to chest with a very large, very muscular, very hairy looking cowboy.

Chris Cane.

He was a 6 foot 4, marginally talented professional wrestler who had been around the world. One who had never really caught on and become a star but who had always found constant work in some of the biggest companies around. He looked just as out of place in this club as Alicia did. His long brown hair was half tied back and half left down, a bushy beard,a pair of torn jeans, cowboy boots, and a red and black flannel shirt with a leather vest thrown over the top. Alicia raised an eyebrow with a laugh. ”You bought those shots. Didn’t ya?’

He laughed putting his hands up and giving her a small nod. ”Guilty as charged. Had to see which one of you ladies could really drink” Have he flashed her a smile, surprised to hear her southern accent. He was from Tennessee, she was from Georgia. Their accents were different but at the same time had a familiar twang to them. Alicia shook her head and folded her arms over her chest. She looked him dead in the eye with a confidence that seemed to be unmatched.

”Well, you know I can drink. Now what?” She added a little sass to her statement. Stepping back on her right foot and keeping her left leg out as she raised her eyebrows and shrugged her shoulders. Chris was over 10 years her senior. Alicia was 23 years old, the cowboy was 36. She was still young and naive despite spending so much time in Japan and living alone and having to grow up fast.

Chris slammed his hand on the bar. Getting the bartender’s attention he moved his and pointed down. The bartender almost seemed like he read the cowboy's mind. Pulling up a bottle of Jack Daniels and two shot glasses. ”Now we’re gonna see if that first shot was a fluke or if ya the real deal.” He poured them each a shot. Alicia turned up her nose and flared her nostrils snatching it off the bar and downing it before he could even think about taking his. She slammed the shot glass on the bar with a smile. ”Well now, looks like we got ourselves a drinker!”

Chris explained it loudly. Other members of the roster were there. The other girls from legacy all looked disgusted by Alicia drinking the shot in spending time with the other wrestlers without them. She turned her head smiling at Chris who smiled back. She was happy to have the male attention. Happy that someone was looking at her as more than just the silly American girl. Someone caught the corner of her eye, she turned and smiled to see Alex Jones. She wanted to go over and say hello, she wanted to ask him how he was going and if he was the one who put her name forward for Honor wrestling. But, it seemed as if Alex was busy. In some kind of argument with half of the ownership of the company, his wife Ana Valentine. Alicia swallowed turning to pick up the new shot that had been poured for her.

She was going to have some fun.

”You bonded with him….”

Whitlows’ voice cut through the haze. Alicia opened her eyes and gave a small nod before pushing off the couch and turning her legs to the side to face whitlow. The doctor finished writing a few lines on her notepad. She reached up and took her glasses off before leaning forward. ”I should have told him to stick those shots right up his stupid redneck a-”

”Alicia…” Dr. Whitlow raised her hand. Alicia swallowed hard stopping before she could finish the sentence. Still, the anger bubbled up, remembering what happened as their relationship developed and went on. She still wasn't over it, still wasn't over what happened and what she went through. After surviving Ronnie, after traveling to Japan and forging her own path. She came back to America and ended up with someone like him. And it still pissed her off. ”That was the start, in the beginning he was there, he gave you attention and understanding. Not even sure of the path it would take you both…..you can’t blame yourself. But….you can go home, think on this...and then i want you to come in tomorrow...we’ll continue.”

Alicia took a deep breath, she closed her eyes as she felt her thumb running area where her wedding ring was again. She let out the breath and gave a small nod before pushing up to her feet. She moved towards the door and stopped taking a moment before grabbing the door handle. ”I hope I’m ready for this…” She pushed through the doorstepping out into the hallway as Whitlow shook her head

”Me to...me to..”

Triple Threat.

”Two and zero aye?”

She couldn't help but laugh shaking her head. Alicia loved to bring up stupid things that opponents had said in the past, she loved to let the words linger out there for a moment before taking them and slamming them right against the faces of people who could not fathom the talent that she had.

”How did that work out for you Keira? You know, we’ll get to that in a little bit. Butbefore thatI just want to stop and breathe and think about thesituation that I am currently in. A triple threat match for the bombshells Internet championship.This division and that title is new ground for me. I think people forget that since I've been in this company I have just been at the main event level. I walked in as a world champion and that's where I stayed.I walked in as the most dominant champion that Honor wrestling had ever seen, only to repeat the exact same feat here in Sin City wrestling. Do you people realise that? Do you remember that? Because it seems like so many of you have forgotten what kind of person I am and where I have been in my career.”

“Everywhere I go I have dominated. Everywhere I go I win championshipsand I proved that I am the best professional wrestler in the world.I have had record breaking titlebrains where I have run through the entire roster. Yet people just sweep it under the table. Just under the rug throw it back down who cares Alicia doesn't matter.”

“It seems like people have to take notice of that now.I have been coasting in this company for too long, complacent with the opportunities that I've been given.I've said it before and I will say it again I would rather earn an opportunity.And that's what I did here. I earned this opportunity.I needed to re discover that fire and over the last couple of weeks I feel like I have.I have slowly started getting back to being the Alicia Lukas that terrified most of this division for a year. .A year where I won the championship, lost the championship, regained the championship, and then made damn sure everyone knew where I was supposed to be.”

“I'm ready to face a new challenge. A new division and a new championship.A new set of records that I can attempt to break and a new championship to try and make synonymous with my name.”

Her lips curl up into an arrogant smile. Her arms pulled over her chest as she stays focused on her goals and her opponents. Her heart lifting up as she feels anger running through her veins.Not just confidence, pure anger.

”And it’s another championship to bring to Wolfslair. It is the only championship that we as a collective have never held. Alex and Austin have been the world champion, Alex has been the roulette champion, Austin the Internet champion on the mens side, Johanna has been the Roulette champion and all three have held the mixed tag team titles. And of course I've held the bombshells world championship.The Internet title is the only one that we haven't added to our collection. The only one that as a collective we have not been able to get and add to the list.It might seem like something small and petty, to look at the group I'm in and realise that there is one championship missing off ourcombined group of accolades.But if you don't think that is a carrot dangling in front of me that I want to chase? Then you don't know me very well do you.”

“Think about it. All the active championships in Sin City wrestling and a member of our group would have held all of them at one point or another.Has there ever been a collective group so dominant in this business before? Certainly not in the modern era.I want to grab that championship not just for myself, not just because it is a new challenge for me and because I have records to break and I can call myself a champion again but also to prove just how dominant we are. Every few weeks someone who is facing one of us will sit there and try and run the entire group down. Talk about how Wolfslair is no longer the force it was.”

“Completely ignoring the titles we have held, are holding and will hold.”

“Every few weeks we prove them wrong. And now is my chance to do it againAlex and Austin are preparing to defend their championshipsand I am preparing to get my hands on one.But to do that, to be able to call myself the bombshells champion and to be able to climb that new mountain, to stand on top of it and know that I have a tonnewalked path in front of me,I have to beat two women. The current champion Andrea Hernandez,and the perennial challenger that every single championship who likes to run her mouth and never shut the fuck up Keira Fisher- Johnson.”

Alicia sneers and shakes her head, Keira’s name making her blood boil with anger and frustration.

”One of these things is not like the others.You see, as much as I have differences with Andrea, she strikes me as someone who is actually worthy of being a champion. Andrea got her hands on that bombshell's championship and has been eager to prove her worth.I wish this had been a one-on-one match. I would love to face Andrea one on one again. Back when Andrea first burst onto the scene in Sin City wrestling she was going on a tear. Destroying everyone that she came in contact with.Legends, nobody's, rising stars, no one was safe from Andrea Hernandez.I was impressed. But I also wanted to beat the living hell out of her.I was the one who stopped that run of dominance. I was the one who was able to beat Andrea as she was going through her run of destruction.”

“But,like a real champion she picked herself up dusted herself off and reinvented herself.She faced the best of the best and has become one of the main names in this company.A true main event star and a bombshell that everyone should watch whenever she is on screen.I'm not going to sit here and try and take that away from her. I'm not going to sit here and rundown all of her accomplishments like I'm some kind of idiot who can'tgo back and research history.I know Andrea is a threat, I know Andrea is the current champion and I know Andrea is going to do everything she possibly can to keep that championship around her waist and stay the bombshells champion for as long as she possibly can.I get it, I do.It is hard for anyone who is a current champion to picture themselves losing a title.”

“And full disclosure I don't like you Andrea.”

“The thing is, I don't have to like you to respect you.I don't have to like you to acknowledge that you have been a great champion and that you have been one of the best in this company.That is the thing that people seem to get wrong. They think they can only giverespect to people who they actually like.That isn't how it works.I don't like you, but I can respect you, I like Amber Ryan I like what she stands for and I respect her. Whether I like someone personally or dislike them has no bearing on how I feel about their professional accomplishments and whether or not they are a positive in this business and our company.I can admit you are a positive in the sin city wrestling bombshells division and you are a champion that deserves to have a spotlight.”

She flashes an arrogant smile keeping her arms folded over her chest as she adjusts her stance to push her shoulders back and her chest out.

”And that is part of the reason why I did what I did. I saw an injustice happening before my eyes. You being forced to defend your championship against someone who is substandard and should not be given title opportunities.Someone who never earned the right to face you.I took issue with it. I took issue with it and I got booked in a match where if I won I would be addedto the bombshells title match at High Stakes. Now,do I agree with you getting involved? Of course I don't. But since your little interference worked in my favour.I'm gonna allow it. However you need to realise that without me in this match people wouldn't give a crap about it. People would just think that Andrea Hernandez was about to walk in and walk out the champion with absolutely no challenge in front of her and she wasn't going to earn that defence on her record.There was no danger of you losing that championship to Kiera.”

“I added that danger. I added that intrigue and I added that question.I have made your championship defence at the biggest show of the year matter. So, if I can admit that you are one of the best champions that this company has right now, if I can admit that you are a positive for this division and this business, then you need to look me in the eye when I get in that ring, come forward, and thank me, thank me for making this match relevant. Because without me this match would just be Andrea Hernandez kicking around a fucking paint can for ten minutes.”

“And lets be honest, we’re already going to see Amber Ryan doing that with Crystal and Keiras wife, and Krystal Wolfe doing that to Char Kwan, don’t you think ONE of the womens title matches deserves to actually be competitive?”

She pauses with a smile, a shrug, and a pause for an answer that will never come.

”Even though Keira will always believe she is what makes something competitive. See the truth is that she and I have done this song and dance time and time again. She’ll tell you, one on one she has beaten me twice. Twice. Once for the title, she’ll crow about it, she will throw it in my face till the end of time just like I will always say she should never have beaten me the second time. THE SECOND TIME. I never said Keira didn’t deserve to beat me the first time. In fact, I have said time and time again that I was rooting for her. I was rooting for Keira to beat me, to take the SCW Bombshells title and have a long reign that mattered.”

“I wanted her to realize that dream that she had because I foolishly thought Keira Fisher Johnson would pull her big girl pants up and be a champion we could all respect and admire who would make the title mean something. But Keira will tell you all what she believes and what she hears and considering we’re dealing with a woman who lives in a delusional world of her own making we need to take what she says with a grain of salt.”

“I know exactly what Keira will say, I know what she will try and get across. She will smile at you all, play the victim and play up the “team hero” bullshit, trying to get you all on her side and paint me as the villain.”

“She will say she didn’t expect to get the internet shot, that she was simply being herself and Mark and Christian rewarded her for that. Maybe even bring up my failures despite the fact my failures are more meaningful than her successes. She will sit there and talk about how the only reason I beat her and the only reason I’m in this match is because of Andrea. Which, is a fact. A fact that is largely irrelevant.”

“For two reasons.”

“One. How many matches have you and I won and lost due to other people’s interference? How many times have titles and things changed hands because of it? Yeah it sucks and I would have rather won off my own efforts, but imagine if Andrea succeeded in what I believe she wanted to do and cost me the match? Would you shed a tear for me Keira? I think not. Because you are exactly what I have said you are. A fucking htypocrite.”

She points towards the camera with a chuckle.

”And reason two. You failed to beat me. You failed to beat me one on one a third time. So now, well, now you’re stuck with me in this match. You’re stuck with me trying to take that Bombshells internet title away from you just like you took the SCW Bombshells world title from me. I am in this match to make sure whoever walks out with it earns it, whether that is Andrea or me. I will make sure to keep that title Andrea has to walk through hell…”

“And I will make sure Keira doesn’t get her disgusting waste of space hands on it. I will make sure she doesn’t turn that title into a laughing stock just like she did my precious Bombshells world title.”

“I already tried to make Keira earn it, to earn what she wants and to stand up like a real champion, but instead of listening to me and accepting that I’m right and she needs to be humble she spat in my face. So now, I’m taking every opportunity she is being handed.”

“At High Stakes, I am beating Keira Fisher Johnson, I am beating Andrea Hernandez. And I will be the NEW Sin City Wrestling Bombshells Internet champion.

Session 12: Motherly Love

”What was it like? Seeing her again after so many years?

”Honestly? Painful.”

Dr. Whitlow’s voice was familiar, calming, soothing, and what Alicia needed. But the setting wasn’t any of these things. They were at a small coffee shop across the road from Wolfslair. The doctor wanting to see where Alicia spent most of her time. Looking over everything, meeting the other members of Wolfslair, and conducting an interview with Alex. They seemed to talk for hours but it was only minutes.

Afterward, Dr. Whitlow smiled politely, excused herself, and they both walked across the street to get a drink and sit down. They were away from prying eyes, sitting on a pair of old-style metal chairs, touched up and painted white with blue cushions fixed to them. A circular glass table between them with a teacup in front of Dr. Whitlow and a coffee in front of Alicia.”You came back, she didn’t come to pick you up, to see you back in America and face to face? Alicia shook her head from side to side with a heavy sigh. ”Did she regret it? Did you tell her how it made you feel?”

Silence between them, Alicia staring ahead, wondering how she could describe what happened that day. Or even if she should.

Alicia swallowed hard and looked over at Whitlow with a shrug.”I don’t think it mattered how I felt when I came back. I know I had something more important nto do. Get my kids back.”

Whitlow sipped her tea and agreeably gave a small nod, understanding where Alicia was coming from but there was doubt there. Doubt that Alicia was telling her everything, or even believing what she said. Whitlow crossed her legs, placing her hands on her knee, she smiled warmly and moved back against the chair. ”You mean to tell me, after leaving the country, going to Japan, changing your life and career and then returning after two years you and your mother didn’t have it out?” Whitlow raised her eyebrows. She knew there was something. Moments that Alicia had pushed down.

”Yeah, I guess I can’t really push something like that to the side like it didn’t matter.” Alicia scoffed and gave a small shrug taking a sip of coffee before clearing her throat. ”I went...home…”

The cab came to a stop outside the large gates Alicia remembered from just a few years ago. She would see them almost every day growing up. Coming home from school and pushing through them with her younger brother and sister in tow. Her black backpack felt heavy across her shoulders as the cab drove off, leaving her there to stare at a place she once called home. Her hand moved up and grasped the metal bar against the wall, her fingers moving behind to click the release and push it forward. Stepping through felt like a defeat, it ate at her heart, mind, and soul. Each step up the pathway towards the door got heavier and harder. Coming to a stop at the base of the stone steps, her eyes closed.

She moved up to the door, she didn’t want to press the button, she didn’t want to go inside. But, she had to. She was forced to under these circumstances.

She wanted to get her sons back, to go to war with Ronnie for custody of them. But, to be successful she needed her mother. She needed her resources and everything she knew and felt. To win this war, she needed Barbara Ann Lukas. After a sharp inhale and exhale she worked up the strength to do it, pressing the intercom. A buzz informed her that she was being looked at, evaluated by the camera. Before she could say anything the door clicked, unlocking as Alicia shook her head and pushed it open moving inside.

The foyer had changed. New artwork, new banisters up each side of the center winding staircase. When Alicia had left, when she had been handed off to Ronnie like some kind of teenage door prize at 16 years old this place had been falling apart. Barbara was unable to repair the house with no money. But everything looked new. Repaired, restored, and stronger than Alicia had ever seen it.

”Impressive isn’t it?” Barbara’s voice broke her concentration, Alicia turned and gave a small nod as her mother moved around her, coming to a stop next to her, between Alicia and the door. ”My husband does well”

Husband?

Alicia’s head snapped sideways, a raised eyebrow. She swallowed hard and cleared her throat. ”You got remarried? You didn’t sa-”

”Would you have come if I did? What makes you think I would have wanted you there.”

That one hurt. A shot of pain into Alicia’s heart as her mother turned and moved away,l across the foyer to the doorway leading into the parlor. Alicia followed moving into a room where her mother tried, in vain, to turn her into a society lady. Where Alicia wore frilled dressed, large across the bottom, tight on top, where her long blonde hair was always down and done in different ways. Now, she stood in a pair of tight black jeans, tears on the knees, black converse, and a white vintage Japanese wrestling shirt. Her hair was messy and tied in a bun.

This wasn’t the same girl who hated being in here.

”You look..good” Her heart sank, small talk and what was worse? Good meant terrible. And Alicia knew it. She looked away before sitting down on the edge of the small red couch, her legs spread as she placed her elbows on her knees and leaned forward. ”Oh Violet, sit like a lady...I taught you better than that…” Her words were full of bass and authority. Alicia swallowed hard and as if on instinct she crossed her legs, straightened her back, and pushed her chest and chin up. And in an instant, all of her confidence and strength that she had gained over the past few years seemed to melt away. This felt wrong, it was wrong. ”That’s better. Now, we are going to see Ronald and you will work out a deal with him where we can still see the boys. You will apologise for-”

”Apologise?!?”

Alicia narrowed her eyes, confused, angry, and hurt. Barbara folded her arms over her chest and tilted her head sideways looking her daughter up and down. ”For leaving the way you did...really Violet, what did you think would happen?” Alicia was in shock, staring at the floor as her mother stepped forward and shook her head. ”You abandoned your sons, you walked away from a relationship that was going to take care of you and your family...really Violet I-”

”Alicia…” Her mother went to continue, to explode at her. ”My name, is Alicia...and I am not going to apologise for walking away from that..”

”Walking away from a stable life? A RICH HUSBAND?”

She couldn’t take it anymore, the anger rose from the pit of her stomach and Alicia was on her feet face to face with her mother, a snarl on her lips as her voice dropped deeper. ”From a man who almost drove me to fucking kill myself…” Her mother stopped, instead breathing heavily as Alicia paced back and forth shaking her head, she turned back to Barbara, lifting her arm to shot the small cut she had started to make before being stopped that fateful night. The scar still visible, a reminder for Alicia and how she felt. ”A man who degraded me, hit me, abused me. And you...you want me to apologise for having the strength to walk away? Are you serious?”

She shook her head, throwing her arms in the air, backing up as she reached down to grab her backpack, throwing it on and moving towards the door. Then, a voice from behind her stopped her. ”I’m sorry…” Alicia stopped, raising her hand and placing it on the door frame. ”I didn’t...I didn’t know. Or realise it was that bad…” She let out a large sigh, her body relaxing. Barbara sat down looking across the coffee table at the couch. ”We can.,...we can talk about how to fight this….please” She took a deep breath in and pushed it out turning on her heels, her mother was serious, sincere, and heartfelt.

”She apologised? She didn’t know?”

Dr. Whitlow raised her eyebrows, Alicia finished her coffee and just gave a small nod. Dr. Whitlow looked surprised and finished her tea. Alicia laughed to herself and shook her head. ”I know….weird right? I always believed she knew, or saw something. But..ya know...when people are so involved with themselves, they don’t see what is right in front of them…”

Flo-rida and Disney

”Well, isn’t this just the happiest place on earth?“

Alicia steps into frame, her hands in the front pocket of her jeans as she turns and looks up at the tower of terror behind her. One of the landmarks at the Disney World resort in Florida, where sin city wrestling it’s about to hold climax control.

”Disney World, such a fitting place for me to once again establish my dominance over this entire division. To secure my championship shot against a woman who has been just as dominant as I was in a very short amount of time. You see, I am actually excited about this match. The last few that I’ve had, I haven’t really felt it. I haven’t had it in my heart that I’ve wanted to do it. You see, you might think what I did to Ruby was some kind of landmark in my career. A glass tables match, I dropped her through it and approved once again that people like her cannot and will not come close to people like me.”

“I refuse to apologise for my actions. I refuse to apologise for what I did to Courtney Pierce and I refuse to apologise for what I did to Ruby. They both had it coming for different reasons.”

“You see, Courtney tried to take one of my moments and make it all about her. She tried to come out and steal that little bit of spotlight that was on me. And when I refused to allow that to happen and I refused to just sit back and let her steal it from me, you all booed. You all acted as if I did something so horrible that I could never come back from it. A simple broken bone for her, but a statement by me.”

“So many of you thought I was done, that I was coming out to say goodbye, to wave, tell you all that it was a fun ride and that I appreciated the support and love that I had gotten, and walk away. but instead what you have been getting is a more focused and vicious Alicia Lukas. And Ruby paid for it. Ruby is the one who had to deal with a new and focused Me, she is the one who had to feel that pain feel that anger with what I did to her girlfriend and then what I did to her.”

“But, that chapter is over. I broke Courtney‘s leg, Ruby tried to get her revenge and failed, Case closed. Next chapter.“

She pauses for a moment, the impressive visage of the tower of terror looming large over the top of her as she takes her hands from her pockets and folds them over her chest.

”But, what is that next chapter? What is the next step for me in my career in sin city wrestling? Well, it is retreating a path that I have walked down before. Announced for the very next climax control that is happening here in Florida at Disney World is a fatal Foreway match. The winner of this match gets to go onto high-stakes, our biggest event of the year and challenge for the bombshells championship. The winner has a date with Amber Ryan. A woman who has been so dominant and made that championship mean something again.”

“And indeed a woman who has beaten me one on one for that very championship. A championship that I have held three times. Yes, I am a three-time champion. Something that most people including myself remember yet somehow the company forgot. Apparently I’m only a two time champion and while that might seem like me nitpicking the truth is that if someone takes something away from you that you earned? It kind of pisses you off.”

“So, how do I rectify that? Well going into this match and beating three Hall of Fame names while then going onto face Amber Ryan and becoming a full-time champion is a damn good way to rectify it don’t you think?“

“That is what I have to do. I have to go into this match and beat three sin city wrestling Hall of Fame stars all of whom I have beaten at least once before. But no pressure right? No pressure on me coming into this match is the only one who isn’t in the Hall of Fame facing three women who quite obviously hate my guts and want to do everything that they can do to stop me from getting that for the championship. But there is the problem, stopping me from doing anything that I want to do is a goddamn task and you just need to ask anyone who is faced me in the ring to get an answer.”

Alicia pauses for a moment with a smile on her face. She tilts her head to the side and paces back and forth a little.

”And before I get to those three women that I’m going to be facing this Sunday night, I want you all to sit back and visualise what will happen if I beat them. Or when I beat them. It would be a rematch at the biggest show of the year between Amber Ryan and Alicia Lukas. Minny would say that I am the last woman to actually push Amber into deep waters. And that’s what I would do with her. She and I have it so easy a lot of the time. Sure, some people challenge us, a lot don’t. Like the Barnhardts and Salcos of the world can’t really step in the ring with us.”

“But, while Roxi would try her hardest, and Crystal and Mercedes would fail miserably against Amber, I would do something that all three of them cannot do. I will drag Amber down into deep waters, and I will drown her with everything I have.”

“But before that can happen I do need to beat the other three. I need to face three women who have gone to war with before. And in Roxy Johnson, there is a woman who could win this match, you could beat me, and she could do it with her skill and her experience. Not look like the other two, Johnson could actually do it because she is good. Dam but before that can happen I do need to beat the other three. I need to face three women who I have gone to war with before. And in Roxi Johnson, there is a woman who could win this match, he could beat me, and she could do it with her skill and her experience. Not look like the other two, Johnson could actually do it because she is good. Damn good…”

Alicia nods slowly and has an intense look in her eye as she steps forward.

”However, with that being said about her, I can’t ignore the fact that Johnson already had so many opportunities to beat Amber. They had a few that lasted months. They fought back and forth putting on a clinic after clinic and I will admit that Roxi did everything she could to beat Amber, Roxi pushed Amber to the limit and she looked like she could beat her every single time they faced one another.”

“But, in the end, Amber went on to become the champion and Roxi has been bouncing around teaming with her wife, trying to clutch onto relevancy while doing the same tired bullshit team hero stick that she’s always done. The same lie about being a hero when in reality she is a shallow human being in capable of caring about anyone except for herself. And that includes her idiot wife.”

“And what’s worse? Her hypocrisy also comes to championship matches.“

“You see, women like crystal and Mercedes constantly hound for championship matches. Roxy acts like she doesn’t. I didn’t ask to be in this for way, I didn’t ask to even have a championship opportunity, I would’ve been happy going about destroying the rest of the roster before getting an opportunity but I got put in that match because of what I’ve done and what I’m capable of. I’ve seen Roxi talk about re-focusing on going for that title over and over again until she finally has got her wish there she goes talking shit about Mercedes and Crystal doing the exact same thing. And as I said, while Johnson had match after match with Amber, I’ve had one. One match. And the rematch would be something truly special and I refuse to let Roxi Johnson rob me of that.”

She yells the last part, pointing at herself talking through gritted teeth. The intensity and anger in her eyes as she stares forward are evident.

''Speaking of people who are special, well, that’s not Crystal is it? She is someone who has never truly got the idea of professional wrestling in making herself special. A woman who spent so long being a failed actress that she has completely forgotten what sincerity truly is. It’s funny though, while she was a failed actress in anything that she would do of note as far as that profession goes in professional wrestling she’s been able to be a brilliant actress, acting and lying to her wife, acting and lying to her friends, the rest of her family and also you fans.”

“Someone who lies about her motivations and somehow gets people to believe her, getting J2H on her side to go and try and win and fail at winning the mixed tag team championships. Crystal is a brilliant liar and actress. Just not in a TV show or movie. But you can’t argue with her success in the ring because she has the accolades and accomplishments to prove it. She has been a multiple time world champion, but, she’s never been someone to elevate that championship. She’s always won the championship and then dragged down to pits of irrelevancy.”

“She did it recently, winning the championship of Roxi’s wife, and then promptly making it mean nothing.”

“And we really want her to try and get another shot where she’s going to fail, why? Why would we want to watch Amber Ryan completely break and destroy Crystal Zdunich? Why would we want to see that? And why would we want to validate someone who constantly bags and pleads and talks about championship matches and title shows that she hasn’t heard by getting her into a match where she could get shot? Or then letting her go onto face Amber and get a championship match that again, she didn’t earn. Crystal is a leach, she is a leach on this business she’s a leach and her family she is a leach of her friends and I’m sick of her. So I’m going to make it a personal mission to make sure she doesn’t get close to that championship.”

Alicia tries to calm herself down, she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before holding her arms back over her chest.

”The exact same as Little Miss Mercedes Vargas. And the truth is that you could really into change everything I’ve said about Crystal about Mercedes instead except for the wife parts. And also I guess the friend part considering Mercedes doesn’t have any friends. But everything from the lying and the bullshit and the begging for title shots and trying to stay relevant? That is Mercedes all over. You are talking about a woman who likes to tweet out everything from past shows to anything a New York team ever does but never says anything worth a damn. She never says anything that gets people excited about her matches or excited about the shows.”

“She loses matches and then never turns around and says a goddamn thing about them, she never shows passion for the business she never shows passion for any of the matches that she’s in. And when someone like me who loves his fucking business so much and loves her career ends up being pissed off about something she ends up trying to make it about her and says that that person is “thin-skinned”…are you kidding me?”

“What means more Mercedes? Someone getting angry about losses or passionate about wins? Or someone like you who seems to get passion from nothing. Someone like you who seems to ignores 99% of what happens in the company and the business because instead she would rather focus on herself and focus on trying to bake to get championship matches and focus on the things that she did 20 years ago?“

“You really think that you’ll be able to beat Amber Ryan? Mercedes you don’t belong in the ring with Amber Ryan.”

“So instead, you get the fourway with the three of us. I would like this could really remake your career. He could make you relevant again. More relevant than you’ve been in the last couple of months while you’ve been slumming  it down in SCU the same as Amy Marshall. When things get too tough on the show that matters you should go down there. I turn up and make an appearance to give him a little rub, you turned up and decided to stay there because you actually thought it was going to help your career. How the fucking mighty have fallen Mercedes. But, I’m gonna make you fall further.”

“I'm going to do this to earn my championship shot at high-stakes and Amber Ryan. I need a big win I need this for my career. I came back and I have fought for everything I’ve gotten and I’ve been continually put down spit on and made to feel like shit because I actually love this business. So, the three of you have a very simple job. Try and stop me, because it is going to take all three of you.“

Alicia turns and takes one more look at the tower of terror, she laughs to herself shaking her head before turning and walking away.

Session 10: The decision to return

“Why did you come back?”

The question hung in the air, it made the air suck out of the room and everything seemed heavy. The weight of it pushing down on Alicia‘s chest and shoulders, almost making her slouch standing up. For the first time in a long time, she was speechless. In the past, while talking to the good doctor she would take a moment, ponder any questions that the doctor had, and then come up with an answer. One that was well thought out and true. But this time, there was a mental blank. There was no simple answer to this one. The reason why she left was very simple, survival. I need to get away from someone who is destroying her mentally and physically.

But the reasons why she went back when not as simple as one would have you believe. She could have lied, she could have simply said it was her children, her family, unfinished business. Her own moral compass guiding her home.

But there was a very good chance that the doctor would see right through that answer, that she would tear it apart and Alicia would be left standing there bare and ashamed that she tried to lie to someone who had been helping her through everything.

Her bright blue eyes closed and she took a long deep breath in.

“Pride”

The word was out there, laid out for Dr. Whitlow to see. Not the answer that she was expecting, not the answer that anyone would expect. Pride is often something thought about in a negative way, that it can hold you back from being humble, and true to yourself. Sometimes it is even seen as a stop to being a good person. Pride, after all, comes before the fall or so they say.

Dr whitlows eyes had widened, her pencil state clutched in her fingers. She didn’t write anything down, instead, she tilted her head and leaned forward looking Alicia up and down ”Pride?”. She repeated the word back to her as if expecting Alicia to change what she had said, to go back on her answer and come out with something more acceptable or easier to understand. But the answer never came. “Pride over what?”

“My own failures…”

She paused again, staring out into space and almost losing herself in the moment. The doctor knew when to stay silent and let Alicia work things out for herself in her mind. She took a sharp inhale in and shook her head as if coming out from a daze. “As a mother, as a woman, as a person.”

Dr. Whitlow gave a small nod of understanding, jotting down a few things on her notepad before clearing the throat and sitting back on her chair “Was it hard to leave?”

Alicia swallowed, turning away from the doctor. She ran her hands up over her head and through her hair before turning and sitting down on the edge of the couch. Her elbows balancing on the end of her knees as she leaned forward and put her head in her hands. She slowly looked up, interlocking her fingers together, balancing her jaw on her thumbs against her fingers. “More than anyone could ever understand.”

She closed her eyes. She could hear the hustle and bustle of Tokyo in her ears. It was different in so many other cities that Alicia had been to. It was different than Atlanta, different than New York, different than Toronto or Los Angeles. Tokyo sounded different, it smelt different, it felt different. Alicia loved it, the bright neon lights, the tall skyscrapers that were also surrounded by small arcades with video game machines and Plinko machines.

The smell of sushi and Ramen filling her nose, all of it was something that she missed. And it was something she loved.

She had a small apartment, it was cozy, it was something that she was able to buy after a year of working. Saving all of the money while sleeping on the dojo floor, cleaning and sweeping the mats even after she had started doing shows and earning money. She sat on the floor, a bowl in her hands. The smell of chicken broth filling the small lounge room. She smiled looking at the television having picked up enough Japanese to really start enjoying a lot of the TV shows.

Her eyes moved over to her kitchen bench. A stack of unopened mail sitting there.

She slurped her noodles, drank the broth, and sighed heavily as she got to her feet and moved over towards the kitchen bench. There was one letter that she had avoided opening. One that had been sent from the United States. She picked it up, looking down at it and sneering. She closed her eyes and shook her head putting it back down before moving the ball over to the sink, the sound of the porcelain bowl hitting the metal at the bottom rung out through the apartment.

Her nostrils flared as she felt the anger rising up. She turned on the ball of her feet and stepped over towards the letter again, she picked it up tearing the side and pulling out the piece of paper on the inside. She took a deep breath gliding over every single word. It was an update, a letter from her mother explain to her that things have happened in her absence. What had happened with her children, and the fact that her ex was now trying to get full custody. Cutting Alicia out of their lives seemingly forever.

She could not let that happen.

Any extra money Alicia made, things that she could send them, pictures, videos, all of it. Despite their young age she still took care of them, she still wanted her sons to know that she loved them and was going to help provide for them no matter how much their father wanted to cut her out of their lives. No matter how much money he had, Alicia wanted to make sure she contributed to their lives. But this was too far. She had to go, she had to go back to the United States, back to her mother, back to a world where she was nothing, treated like a nobody. Abused and hurt.

She put the letter down and swallowed hard as she looked over at her phone, she gave herself and not looking into the mirror across the apartment. She looked so different. She’d been in Japan almost 2 years, a year of full-time work and all the training that went into it beforehand. It transformed Alicia Lucas. When she arrived she was a skinny, timid, mentally and physically weak child named Violet Maxwell. The woman who she was now?

Was unrecognizable.

She picked up her phone, flicking it open, and going through to her address book pressing a few buttons before lifting it to her ear. She heard the tones, a pick-up. A voice.

“Hi..Mom”

“Did it anger you?”

Alicia shook her head, sitting back up again after laying down to get more comfortable. It helped her recall details, emotions. He put her back in the moment, it was where she needed to be to make sure she could get through this.

She cleared her throat and folded her arms over her chest “I wasn’t angry. I was upset, upset that I felt that way. Upset that it took me so long to realise I needed to go back and be with my sons.”

“You realised it. There is nothing wrong with that. Or being afraid.” Alicia slowly nodded, looking down at the floor before relaxing a little, her body language showing that maybe the doctor had gotten through to her. “You have made a lot of progress. We can pick this up next time” Her smile was warm, caring, and happy. Alicia stood up and smiled back, staying silent as she moved out into the hallway.

Ruby’s a riot

“Don’t any of you dare say that I didn’t warn you. For months I’ve given every single one of you ample opportunity. Opportunity to realise what I’ve been trying to do for this division since day one, that all of you have turned your backs on. Every single one of you was guilty of it, even those of you who I considered friends and ones that I have respect for. You have all been guilty of turning your backs on what makes professional wrestling great.“

Alicia turned her nose up, shaking her head. Her long blonde hair was tied back away from her face as she felt her arms over her chest.

“It wasn’t just Ruby that I want, it was everyone. I want you all before I faced Kiera. I told you not to push me, I told you not to get on my bad side. See for months years even, I was smiling and acting like the leader for the division. I want to drag every single one of you kicking and screaming to the top of the professional wrestling mountain. I want it every single one of you to realise that you could be the best in the world and to fight to become it. No holding back, no taking second-best as a positive. I wanted the bombshells championship to me more than the sin city wrestling world heavyweight championship, and when I held it? It was..”

Voice is strong, the body language powerful as she points her finger downwards to exclamation point of what she is saying. Alicia‘s bright blue eyes burn as she stares ahead and slowly smirks.

“I told every single one of my opponents that they could beat me, all they needed to do was believe and none of them did. They all fell to me and instead of thanking me, instead of coming back and working harder to beat me and be the best, all I got was jealousy and hatred. All I heard was that I was holding the bombshells championship hostage. After I got injured I went away I came back and I had three goals. I wanted to get revenge, I wanted to win back that championship, and I wanted to get people to admit that I was the best in the world.”

“And I was able to realise the first two goals. I beat Bobbie, I took back the championship, but not one of you could bring yourselves to admit that I was the best. Instead of being celebrated for coming back from that injury and for still being at the top of my game I got hated and pushed down, I got told that I didn’t even deserve to get that championship shot to begin with. And then when I got beaten for that title, you’re all so happy. You celebrated the fact that I lost. And up until Amber becoming the champion, that title meant nothing.”

“She has brought it back to prominence“

“But then, every single time I try to move away from the bombshells championship, to give everyone else a chance to shine in the spotlight like apparently they wanted, I would get drawn back in because even management knew there was no one else. And all that got me? More hatred, more jealousy, more comments that I didn’t deserve.“

Alicia throws her hands up in the air with an exasperated sigh, they slowly slide into the front pockets of her tight-fitting black jeans with tears all around them, as is the style of the time, perfectly covered by black-and-white classic looking converse hightops. But her body? Covered with a brand-new red and black Alicia Lukas franchise T-shirt.

“So then what? Where did we go from here? Well I wanted to go out there and have my moment in the sun, I wanted to unburden myself and tell all of the fans and the people in the back how I felt and why I was in such a horrible place. But that moment got taken away from me. Courtney Pearce decided to come out and steal that moment from me and make it all about her. She decided to shift the spotlight from me, the person who rightfully had it, to her. All because she wanted it. So, I used her as a warning to the rest of the division. I used her as a message to every single one of you.”

“It seems like none of you listened. But there was one person who seemed not to listen even more than the rest of you, instead of just ignoring what I had to say it seems like Ruby steel has put her fingers in her ears and start clicking her tongue so she could not listen to a goddamn word I have to say.”

“I looked Ruby in the eye and I told her she doesn’t deserve to be in the ring with me, I’ve got Ruby in the eye and I told her that if she took this match, if she kept chasing me, something very bad was going to happen to her.“

“Did she listen?“

Alicia shrugs and shakes her head very slowly, she lets out a small half and her breath before rolling her eyes and continuing

“Of course she didn’t.“

“Even after she kept on trying to chase me and cost me matches I still warned her. All the way up to the show right before violent conduct. I told her I wasn’t going to lay a hand on her, and I told her that I was going to hurt her. I gave her the conditions for me to ignore what she did and forget that she did. And she didn’t listen. I kept my word, Joanna attacked her. I didn’t. And even after that, even after that morning Ruby steel is going to go through with this match. At the most violent super card of the year. In a glass tables match.“

“A match where I don’t need to pin her, I don’t need to make her submit, to win I have to take Ruby steele, and drop her body through a glass table. Just think about that for a moment.“

Alicia pushes up to her feet and walks around, her fingertips slowly glide around the circular glass table that is sitting in her hotel room. A thick glass panel, sitting on top of an ornate looking twisted metal pedestal, painted gold.

“Think about how much damage a normal wooden table can do to the body. Your body hitting that wooden breaking it, before hitting the mat, wood shards and splinters all around you, scratching you, nothing about a glass table. Think about it shattering and all of those tiny little pieces of glass hitting the mat and then pushing themselves into your skin scraping, scratching, inserting itself. You think about the pain that you were going to go through, and then you think about the fact that I have absolutely no remorse for anything that I’m about to do to you Ruby. Your girlfriend started this, you decided to continue with it and ignore everything I said. Everything I have ever tried to tell you”

“Well, now you’re gonna listen to me.“

“You and every single other woman in this company is going to take notice of what I have to say and you are going to respect me and listen to me. And when I am done, when you are laying in a pool of your own blood and shattered glass and you were going through more pain than you have ever felt in your life and you realise that you not only failed yourself but you failed Courtney, you are going to look up at me, stare me right in the eyes, and you are going to thank me.”

“It’s the way of the world Ruby, the strongest survive. And you dear? You are just not strong enough.“

Alicia‘s news, her nose and upper lip twisting, the look at the stain on her face unable to be hidden behind any type of mask, one last deep breath and exhale. A smile. And a fade to black.

Session Eight: The First taste of true freedom

”Interesting picture”

Alicia stepped around her Doctors office, studying everything as she moved. She had been in this office many times over the last few months but this was the first time she really noticed things. Looking closer at the various books, pictures, diploma and memorabilia that littered the walls and shelves. Her eyes stopped and fixated on one picture in particular. It looked like it was from the early to mid-70’s. A group of young people stood around each other and in the center was someone who looked an awful lot like Dr Whitlow. Alot younger, longer hair and a smile on her face as she stood with the others.

Alicia smiled and turned as Whitlow looked up, her eyes shining from behind her black rimmed glasses, her hand twirling a pen around as her other hand came up to removed her glasses. ”My sophomore year of college. The first time I really felt on my own. My freshman year was spent still living with my parents, but I changed schools, went halfway across the country.” Dr Whitlow poshed on the arms of the chair and got to her feet moving over to Alicia standing next to her, folding her arms over her chest. ”I needed it, to feel free.”

Alicia scoffed, her eyes darting away as she turned and moved back towards the couch. Dr Whitlow raised an eyebrow, sliding her glasses back on as she moved back to her chair, picking up her pad, her pen and taking a seat.

Alicia sat down on the end of the couch and clasped her hands together. ”And what about you? When was the first time you felt that kind of freedom?”

She pushed her lips together, sliding back on the couch and laying back before interlacing her fingers. ”Japan”

She could hear it, the noise of the crowd. It was ringing in her ears. A crowd that started off so silent and respectful, with a small round of applause here and there, it slowly started to rise with each move, each moment. And then they had them in the palm of their hands. Alicia had her hand raised at the end, and a new star had been born. The months of hard work and training, the months of sleeping on the dojo floor and cleaning. It paid off in that one beautiful moment.

But now what? She was covered in sweat, her hands shaking as she realised she was still amped up and excited.

Alicia sat back, her body leaning against the cold brick wall in the women's locker room. She was the first match out, her first match. It had gone so fast, but it gave her a feeling she had never experienced before. A real accomplishment, a real future. And the rest of the night went fast as well, she watched from behind the curtain as a fan and as a student, the smile never left. And as the show ended, the fans filed out of the small but respectable arena, the students walked out to clean and take down the ring.

Tradition, honor, respect. Structure. This is what Alicia needed in her life.

When it was all done she picked up her bag moving towards the door, the other students all laughed and high fived each other. One of them stopped, turning to see Alicia by herself. He moved over to her, his long black hair tied back in a high bun, he was about six foot tall, muscular but also trim, he smiled and gave her a nod. ”Hey Blondie, you comin?” His english was great, almost too good. Alicia blinked a few times, looking around to make sure it was her he was talking to.

”Uh...where?” She laughed nervously.

He looked at the group and folded his arms over his chest, his name was Takeshi, he was one of the more advanced students. A young boy who was getting ready to go on an excursion to Alicia’s homeland. ”After a show, when we’re done with cleaning up we go out...celebrate. It’s a tradition.” There was that word again. Something she heard so much. Something that had been drilled into all of them.

But Alicia wasn’t a part of that. Her very existence, her look, her attitude, where she came from all flew in the face of these traditions. “I mean..sure...but I’m not 21 yet...”

The other students who stood behind him all laughed to themselves. Takeshi turned and looked at them with a shake of his head before holding out his hand. ”Legal age is 20 blondie. Come on...we don’t bite.” She took a deep breath and smiled. Almost ashamed for a moment, her first instinct was to stay in, to go back to the dojo, lay down and go to bed. Her second was even worse.

She wanted to call her mother and ask her permission.

Here she was, twenty years old, a year after running from her life, the horrible situation she had found herself in. Living in a different country half way across the world.. And she still wanted to call her mother and ask permission to do something.

How fucking pathetic

”I’m in..” She smiled and took his hand. The rest of the night was a blur, music, drinks, dancing. She felt happy, she felt alive. She felt free It was the one thing she hadn’t been able to escape since coming to Japan. The feeling of suffocation. The feeling of always being looked over and looked down upon. But that seemed to change.

In one night, some alcohol and a confidence boost, she felt the shackled unclip and felt like she could do anything. Be anyone. Takeshi looked her up and down with a smirk. ”Hey Blondie...what’s your real name?”

She stopped dancing, taking down a shot of whisky. ”...Alicia…”

”A new name...for a new life?”

She gave a nod opening her eyes with a smile before groaning as she sat up. ”Yeah, it felt right. That night, the last piece of who I was got put away. I had been told how to think, how to walk, talk and feel for so long.” She shrugged before getting to her feet moving back over to the picture of the Doctor when she was younger with a sigh.

Dr Whitlow tilted her head to the side. ”And this moment was your first step?”

Alicia didn’t answer immediately. She reached out taking the picture in her hand looking over the frame and at every single youthful face, every single moment in the single picture that was njow frozen in time, before seeing her own reflection in the glass, setting the picture back down. ”First steps….yeah. But….funny trying when you have been held down, and back for so long…” She turns and shakes her head. ”You go to far…”

Her voice fades away. Alicia knew what happened...but wasn’t ready to speak about it….

The old enemy

”Same song and dance eh?. Same moments, same things being said. Same opponents.”

Her hands clasped together, her red painted fingernails hitting a certain angle where the light from above gave them a certain shine.

”The wrestling world works in cycles. People rise, people fall. Some of it is like clockwork. Take me for instance. I go on rants out of anger when it comes to the Bombshells division, then names rise up to my words, they become stars and show how good they can be. Then, they fall, unable to show the consistency and fire needed to stay at the top of the division for as long as I did. I step back for all of you people to have others to believe in and the thanks I get for it, is mediocrity.”

“But, then I smile, I grit my teeth, I put up with it and show certain names respect and gratitude.”

“Only for it to happen all over again. As I said, like clockwork. And despite what all of you believe I have done more for the bombshells division than anybody. I have sacrificed so much for the good of the division and the people in it. Everything I did, everything was for the betterment of the company and those in it.”

“Now, it’s time to break that cycle.”

“I’m not going to do things like, step back from title opportunities, or rematches, to make you all feel better about yourselves. I’m not going to smile and give you a happy little thumbs up and tell you, win or lose, that you did a great job. Nah, mama Alicia has closed for business. Now, I’m out for blood, I’m out for myself. And I know some of you, like perhaps, Roxi, Andrea, Keira, I know you’ll be sitting there saying that’s what I was like from day one right? That nothing will change?”

Alicia laughs to herself and shakes her head.

”When Keira “beat” me for the title, I sat back, I refused a rematch, I refused to even go near the title because I wanted others to have the spotlight, look how that turned out. Look at the road the title went down. It has only now become relevant again with Amber Ryan as the champion, Amber being the only one out of all of you that is worth a damn. Meanwhile I went about my work, beating Maki, Mercedes, anyone else that was in my goddamn way, and then I got put in the Queen for a day match, I beat three other women for the right to make the matches I wanted.”

“I gave myself an opportunity at the championship. Like any of you would have. Because I earned it. For everything I did for the division, everything I did for all of you I wanted that match. And it was never ever just about the title it was also because I wanted Amber Ryan one on one. I wanted that match. I needed that match.”

“But even then, even as I earned the right to make my own opportunities, after spending months sitting back and waiting, it was still met with the usual whining voices of the masses. I could handle that though. I could handle the jealous whining, I could handle losing to someone like Amber Ryan, in fact I congratulated her. But what I couldn’t handle or abide by, is the second “loss” to Keira Fisher-Johnson.”

Alicia sneers, her nostrils flare and she folds her arms over her chest closing off her body language.

”The first one, she was amazing that night, it happened, the second though? I should have won that match, I should have beaten her easily and walked away with another win under my belt, but forever in the record books it will say she beat me, forever it will have me as a loser against her. When it shouldn't have happened. So I lost it a little and instead of getting understanding, compassion and respect. I got attacked. I got attacked by Keira and others. And when I confronted them, both Keira and Jessie Salco bitched out of matches

“Keira said she would never face me again, Jessie wanted to but the second I raised the stakes she said no and ran.”

“I’m not surprised.”

“So, SCW, in their infinite wisdom, decided that I would be facing an old enemy on Climax Control. Someone who I know better than most because we have faced each other so much over the last three years or so. Seleana Zdunich, everyone’s favourite little engine that could. And do we remember what I said about breaking cycles Seleana? Cause I remember once upon a time I told you to break yours. The cycle of bad decisions and being in a horrible relationship. This is what you so Seleana.”

“And my cycle for the longest time, was facing you and being nice to you. Smiling happily and not blaming you for the sins of your idiot wife and her idiot family. I actually felt BAD for you. SORRY for you.”

She rolls her eyes and flutters her hand up letting out a disgusted sigh.

”People would throw insults at you, call you a fake champion, a fraud, a phony and I would defend you. Remind them all it wasn’t your fault, that you were separate from all that and I respected your attitude and your effort. The truth is Zdunich, I had a soft spot for you, right here.”

Alicia puts her hand over her heart before sneering and turning her nose upwards.

”I wanted to see you succeed, I wanted to see you break those shackles and show the world you were more than, what was it you said against Austin and Tempest? “Crystals Swedish Barbie Trophy Wife”. I wanted you to prove that and I would stand there when you did win a big match and have a big moment like the Roulette title win and I would nod, I’d be happy for you, proud of you. But, trying to lift you up and make sure you reached the heights you deserved made me realise that...well..”

“You didn’t deserve it.”

“In my support and fandom of the attitude you had and the can do nature of your personality I stupidly allowed you to think and feel that you were somehow my fucking equal Seleana. That you could be held in the same regard as me, much like Keira thinks she is, much like Dani Weston believed. Much like Evie Jordan and Bobbie Dahl and all the others. You all honestly believe that you are on my level and that is as much my fault for perpetuating the belief as it is yours for foolishly believing it.”

“And for that, I apologise Seleana. I apologise for giving you false hope, a false narrative and for allowing you to feel that way. But don’t worry...I’m about to fix that.”

She smirks and stands up, revealing a shirt with a still on it from Summer Xxxtreme of her breaking Courtney Pierce’s ankle.

”You’re good Seleana, you are, I’m not discounting that. But you should never, ever beat me. You should never even get close. That’s just the nature of this business and for too long I have let people like you get close to people like me. And that needs to stop, I need to pull my boots on, my big girl pants up and be the champion I want to be, not the one everyone thinks I should be. And that is what Courtney Pierce failed to understand.”

“I was having my moment out there in that ring, all my talk of endings and retirements was talk of laying down the Strong style southern belle, the Alicia Lukas who had smiled and helped you all. That Alicia Lukas is dead, buried and retired.”

“I am the fucking Franchise of SCW and the Bombshells division. I am the War goddess….I am the best in the fucking world and when we get in the ring Seleana…”

“I’ll prove it.”

Session Six: First Steps in Japan

”Tea?”

Dr Whitlows voice was always kind and gentle. Even when she was trying to be filled with authority there was still kindness there. It put Alicia at ease, relaxed her. Made her feel so much better about herself, her life and her choices. Having to relive the worst parts of her life, go through her childhood and the abandonment issues right through the abuse she suffered, the thoughts of ending it all and of course, her escape and feeling that she abandoned her sons. She went back there, she saw it from a different perspective.

She thought the worst of it was over, but really, it was nowhere near over. ”Thank you” Dr Whitlow slid the cup toward her, Alicia picked it up and gave it a deep inhale. Sweet citrus tea. That took her back, Alicia smiled and shook her head before putting it down on the small table

Whitlow sat back and picked up her notepad with a small smile and a nod. ”So….when we last talked you told me about your escape, your liberation. And where you went.” Alicia gave a small nod and sipped the tea again. She knew where this was going. ”You didn’t go home. You didn’t contact your mother? Your step father? Your brother or sister?”

Alicia closed her eyes and took a long deep breath, she tried to relax, taking one last sip of tea before leaning back. ”No...I just ran...to the airport, with the clothes on my back, my passport, the money I was given and only a vague plan….” She laughed. ”Thank fuck my plan worked…”

It was like another planet or dimension. Different from anything she had known before. Alicia grew up just outside Atlanta Georgia, she had barely travelled further than an hour from her home in her entire life. She knew her home town like the back of her hand. But now she was almost seven thousand miles away from Atlanta, standing in the streets of Tokyo Japan. The cab sped away as she held onto the small duffle bag filled with a few clothes she bought before making the trip, a disposable toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo.

She swallowed hard as the sights and sounds hit her in the face. Atlanta was a big city, but Tokyo was something else entirely. A technological beast filled with flashing lights and signs, a bustling metropolis filled to bursting with people going about their lives. And she was completely lost. She quickly checked her bag, making sure the money she still had left was safe. She had enough to live comfortably for a few weeks, or to stave for a few months. And speaking of starving. The smells coming from some of the restaurants made her stomach groan in hunger. She had been too nervous to eat, too scared to take a bite of the food she was served on the airplane.

She had spent the entire flight awake, from Atlanta to LAX. From LAX to Tokyo, the entire 19 hours she spent travelling was spent awake and looking over her shoulder.

But she was here now, free of his influence, free of his shadow. And, she had a plan. Or so she thought. Alicia smiled thinking of her father, the letters he had sent till she was ten years old, telling her about his journeys and life in Japan where they loved the “giant gaijin” as he had called himself. Jason Maxwell, the seven foot tall, long blond haired terror of Tokyo. He made it sound beautiful, he made his life sound so exciting and carefree. So, Alicia was going to follow in her fathers footsteps. She was going to become a professional wrestler. And she was going to do it in her fathers adopted home. Even though, by all reports and evidence, he was no longer there.

But, a wrestling school was. ドラゴンの隠れ家. Or. “Lair of the dragon”

It was a school she had learned about from watching tapes of her father. During a time when she was being rebellious, her mother was furious when she found out. Snapping at Alicia, taking the tapes, the letters, everything that reminded her of her father. She pulled out a picture, the address on the back, she had shown it to the cab driver who had given her a nod, spoke a few words of broken English and had taken her there. Or where he said it was.

She couldn’t see it, she looked around but there were no markers, no signs. Just a dirty alleyway one way, and a main street on the other. She shook her head and realised how ridiculous she looked and this was. She was a skinny five foot eight blonde haired blue eyed former beauty queen who had never been outside her home town, let alone her state or her country. She took a deep breath and turned toward the dark ally, she moved down it and winced as she heard a noise. Her heart beat fast and hard and she let out a small whimper. She was in way over her head. Her hand brushed against the wall, it felt dirty, wet and cold.

She winced and screamed before tripping and stumbling out the other side. She landed with a thud on her knees and elbows, the dufflebag landing next to her.

She looked up and saw it.

The Lair of the dragon dojo. A large sign above a warehouse door, a group of men and two women stood near the entrance, an older well built man paced back and forth before he looked over at Alicia, he raised an eyebrow and moved towards her. ”あなたは日本語を話せますか？” She shook her head, the man cleared his throat and nodded. ”I know some English. Are you lost? These streets are no place for Tourists.”

She shook her head and managed a smile before pulling out the picture of the dojo, it was from the 80’s the dojo had seen better days, she handed it to him, he looked at it and back to her, intrigued at what this young awkward American was doing here. ”I wanted to find this. My name is Violet...Violet Maxwell.”

His eyes seemed to flash in recognition. ”Maxwell?...as in...Jason Maxwell?” He seemed to growl his name, Alicia’s eyes widened and she was able to manage a small nod.

”I’m his daughter, I haven’t seen him since I was a child.”

He laughed and handed the picture back. ”You still are a child. You are welcome to look around, but your father has not been here in years, not since he left after failing to invest the time or money he promised.My name is Gyo Takamura...if you find your father after this please say hello.” He turned away, after a few steps Alicia cleared her throat.

”I’m actually here to train...sir.” Gyo stopped in his tracks, he took a deep breath and looked over his shoulder at bAlicia who straightened up holding her bag. ”I want to follow in my fathers footsteps.”

”Your fathers….” He sighed and turned back with a straight face that seemed to show anger, frustration but also a strange kindness. ”Child, you don’t want to be like him. Trust me…” He gave her a small hint of a smile and turned away moving back towards the crowd waving his hand dismissively. ”Go home little girl.”

”So you had a door slammed in your face?”

She opened her eyes, gave a small nod and sighed heavily. ”Not the first or the last...but you didn’t give up..”

”I had nowhere else to go...I didn’t have a choice…” She sounded down and defeated. Dr Whitlow shook her head, leaned forward and grabbed Alicia's hand.

”There is always a choice...and you chose to fight for what you wanted..”

Failure is still a success

”I suppose people are expecting me to give up now right?”

Alicia’s voice cuts through the darkness. We find her sitting and leaning forward, clearly in deep thought.

”To pack it in and walk away like others have before. Maybe announce a retirement pity party like Keira? Or perhaps, fade into the background like Christina or Mercedes. Become one of the names that gets dropped when people sit down and start with “Oh she was good back when…” and then proceed to talk about my past like I’m over the hill and not still one of the best professional wrestlers on this planet today. In fact it’s incredible how the mind works really. Studying some of the women in this company and how they react to loss or failure. Watching as they either quit like Bobbie Dahl or become a punchline like Mercedes Vargas...but hey that’s none of my business right?”

Alicia slowly picks up a tea cup sipping it and placing it back down with a wink.

”Only, it is. It is my business. I want you all to cast your minds back to when I first came into this company and I told you I wanted to drag you all kicking and screaming up to my level. To either make damn sure the bombshells here could hang with me or make sure others who would could come into the company and the division. And since that time I have watched some women come, some women go, some thrive even after failure and some fade away after success. And aside from an injury which may have been a blessing in disguise I have been a constant in this company. And that isn’t going to change.”

“See, having women like Amber Ryan in this company is what I wanted. I wanted Maki, I wanted Roxi, I wanted Andrea and Myra. I wanted women standing across from me who could challenge me. Who could beat me.”

“Winning the Queen for a day, putting myself against the champion, having that kind of epic one on one showdown, that’s what I wanted, that’s what I needed.”

“Do I care that I lost? Of course I do. Do I hate that I lost? Oh shit yes. But, am I proud as fuck that we have a champion like Amber Ryan who was able to beat me one on one in such a great match and force me to get better and get me out of my comfort zone? You goddamn right I am. See, I lost to one of the best wrestlers in the world today, a woman who has proved it since stepping foot in Sin City Wrestling. And if you think I’m done...well, then it’s just clear to me that you haven’t been paying attention.”

She nods slowly and shakes her head running a hand through her long blond hair.

”When I get knocked down, I don’t stay down. When Dani Weston knocked me down, I got right back up. When Seleana and her idiot wife knocked me down, I got back up. When Roxi and Bobbie knocked me down I got up again. When Keira did it...guess what? That is what I do. And this won’t be any different. I’ll get up again and I will be the Alicia Lukas I have always been. And it starts now and it starts with Courtney Pierce.”

Alicia finishes her tea and gets to her feet with a smirk.

”See, I like Courtney. I said that before the Queen for a day match and pleasantly, with Courtney’s actions and comments I was not disappointed. See, Courtney got in that ring and did everything she could to win that match. She did everything she could to get that briefcase before me and get the power that came with it. nIn the end though, I was just too fast, to strong and too smart. But then again, Courtney will do the smart thing and focus on the fact I lost to Amber. Cause Courtney is skilled at doing the same thing I am. Twisting narratives.”

“She said that we were kind of alike, that we weren’t living up to the standards that people expected of us. That I was a hypocrite because apparently I was living off my record alone…”

“Really?”

“I came back from an injury, got revenge and banished a lazy whiny bitch from this company before taking my championship back, I went back to the start of the line and I fought my way back to a title match with one of the baddest women on the planet while also holding wins over some of the best in the company who all fell to me over the last few months but apparently I have done the same thing Mercedes has? Nice try Courtney, but that isn’t even remotely close. Swing and a miss.”

“Let me teach you a few things honey. It’s not what you know it’s what you can prove. I can prove my track record against the top of this company and being the champion as well as operating at a high level for a ridiculous amount of time. In multiple companies. In fact, in Sin City Wrestling the only woman who can claim to have been at the top for a longer and more sustained time is Mikah...and that was during the Bombshells dark ages…”

She pauses and shakes her head.

”You and I are not alike Courtney. But that doesn’t mean I can’t admit that I do see a bright future ahead of you or that I don’t think you could become the bombshells champion and be at the top of the division. The difference between us is potential. I reached mine, I know what it’s like and I’m hungry to get back to it and will keep scratching and clawing to pull myself back up to that level instead of tread water like Mercedes Vargas. You though? You haven’t reached your potential.”

“You haven’t been able to grab that opportunity with both hands and raise up to that level. You don’t know what that level of success tastes like and now you have to ask yourself. Win or lose against me, will you be a better you coming out of the match?”

“A win is an easy answer, of course you will. You’ll be able to smile and stomp your feet and talk about how you beat a former bombshells champion. But, you lose? And lose in a one on one match not one where the object is to climb a ladder?”

“Then what?”

“You lost to a woman who before the Queen for a day match, you said had lost a step, was a hypocrite and was just gliding on her record. Good plan...but, that’s what happens Courtney. This game, through comments or ideas, through matches, fights, wins and losses, we all have something to prove. And on Climax Control...I know what I want...do you?”