[Christian Underwood]

Post all roleplays for this match here.
Limits: 1 roleplay per week, per character, 10,000 limit.

Good luck!

[The Troll]

Under the Bridge
Wisdom of the Troll

“Yes! I told you! I told ALL of you! But did any of you believe me? No. You all thought the Troll would make his professional wrestling debut and fail miserably, and instead what did I do? Success! V for Victory! The unbeaten streak of Tony Thorn is done! Over! Finished! Now the Troll begins his own epic journey and an unbeaten streak that will make J2H’s string of victories look more like what Krystal Wolfe is going through right about now.”

“Talk smack about ME, will you Krissy!? The Troll knows your type, and he’s going to silence you! But this isn’t about you. Nothing is, really. This is about me with my big, debut win!”

“Of course, if you watched Climax Control on the internet broadcast rather than live and in person at the Gold Coast Casino, you probably saw a different result. You probably saw something that looked more like Tony Thorn emerge in what resembled a win on his own part. Well here’s a little secret about Sin City Wrestling that you might not be aware of. And of course, Mark Ward and Christian underwood don’t want you to know the truth but BAM!!! The Troll doesn’t care about what ‘the man’ wants! All the Troll cares about is the TRUTH! And he’s going to make sure each and every single one of you that tries to resist the TRUTH finds it forced down your throat until you acknowledge it, whether you like it or not! And that TRUTH is…!”

Suddenly there is a heavy pounding on the basement ceiling and a shrill call from above the Troll’s domicile…

“A rat! A RAT!!! GABRIEL!! Oh my GAWD! Call the exterminator! Call the Orkin Man! Oh my heart! A rat! A… oh for god’s sake! Never mind! It’s just that damn dog of yours!!”

The Troll runs both hands down his face before he exhales sharply and continues with his web broadcast….

“As I was saying… the TRUTH is that Mark Ward and Christian Underwood use special effects and snippets of old matches and sometimes even stand-ins in video footage, and why? In case a match goes the way they don’t want, they film a quick edit in a studio and piece that together and THAT is the footage you see every week! That is why you saw Tony Thorn beat (snorts) yours truly! I mean, seriously! Do you really think that the so-called ‘White Wolf’ Fenris was really undefeated for almost ten months? I have it on good authority that he was defeated several times during that imaginary streak, but the (air quotes) bosses fixed things on-screen so he actually would actually look like a winner! Why even bother? When he came back from his little staycation in Iceland, he’s been about as exciting as women’s pro golf!”{

“Little bit of information? He and Austin James Mercer are actually really close pals. I’ve personally seen them out drinking after the shows. The whole feud over Mercer hurting Aron?”

He shakes his head with eyes closed in disdain.

“All a put on in a sad attempt to make Fenris appear somewhat appealing to the SCW Universe. But if you want to see REAL appeal, just look at yours truly! One match in, and the higher ups know a good thing when they see it! Because I - the Troll - have been booked for a match at Blaze of Glory IX! One of their biggest events of the year! And if I got a spot (unlike losers like Johanna Krieger, Tempest and London Underground), that just goes to show big things are coming for the Troll! Maybe even a championship match is in my future? All I have to do is go up against that pasty-white prima donna Superstar, Miles ‘Milo’ Kasey.”

“Milo Kasey. The man who is always running off at the mouth about how he can’t get physically cut like Fenris. And do you want to know WHY Miles can’t get the abs of steel like Fenris? Tune in NEXT WEEK and I’ll tell you! THEN Miles says that he has the same man beat when it comes to a ‘sexy ass.’ Seriously? Of all the things to aspire to - THAT’S what you’re proud of, Miles? That your ass is nicer than Fenris’s?”

“That ass, right? Okay, if you say so. If that’s what you worry most about when you should be worrying about ME, Miles! Worrying about me exposing you - pun not intended! Worrying about the Troll beating and humiliating you in front of the world! And THAT - is the…”

More pounding from upstairs and that shrill voice again…!

“OH MY GAWD! GABRIEL! CALL THE POLICE! THERE’S A STRANGE MAN AT THE DOOR WANTING IN AND HE WON’T GO AWAY! HE WANTS THE FAMILY JEWELS! HE WANTS MY BODY! HE WANTS…”

The Troll throws off his headset and shouts upstairs…

“OH FOR GOD’S SAKE MA! ANSWER THE DOOR! IT’S THE DOORDASH GUY!”
[/font]

[MiloKasey]

Wasted away again in Margaritaville.

“OH MY GOD! MILES! WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS?!?” a shrill awoke our high flying drunken fool from his whiskey induced coma. The night before, he flew back first class with Lachlan Kane both just deciding to have fun instead of letting the weight of their losses get to them.

Once the plane landed and the men went their separate ways via an Uber for each, things tend to be a blur.

He belches as he arises from his slumber, ‘Hmm...tacos.’ pushing himself up just enough to see his roommate, the young and impressionable 20 year old Morgan Baker standing there, with a horrified look on her face and a crutch under her arm, “Mornin’ Morgs.”

She just scoffs at him and throws a blanket over top of his backside that was until that moment, bare for the whole world to see. “You are as naked as the day you came out of your mum. Where the hell are your pants? Better yet...where the hell are your drawers?”

“My Underoos are still in my bag.” Miles groans trying to move just a little bit but to no avail so he just lays there, pushing his matted hair from his face.

“And just where the hell is that?"  Morgan said looking around frantically.

“When did you start cursin’ like a sailor?” Miles manages to push himself up ever so gently, looking all around slowly so he’s sure not to send himself into a spin and pull and Exorcist, he says ”I'm not a hundred percent sure it actually made it home with me. I remember it made it off the plane. Their things are a little sketchy....and blurry.“

“You are impossible. Just how drunk were you?”  Morgan said, still looking around for his bag.

Milo laughs, “Let's just say Levi's going to need to stock up before Mack and Mattie's trip.”

“Unreal, makes me wonder how pissed Lachlan got.” Morgan says. Finally she finds his bag hiding behind the couch. She flings it at him, “There, put some underwear on. I’ll make the coffee.”

“You are a saint, my dear. A gentle Angel sent to make sure I don't drown in my own vomit.”  Miles says, pulling his bag apart, finding a pair of boxers and sliding them on.

“Flattery will get you absolutely nowhere, Kasey.” Morgan says rolling her eyes making her way into the kitchen. She pulls out a can of coffee beginning to make it, slamming it loudly just to make sure she knows she's not thrilled with how Miles is acting. Milo curses, “Oh I'm sorry was that too loud here let me help.”  she says as she slams the can down once again.

Miles wincecs, “OK I GET IT! YOUR PISSED OFF!”

Laughing, but glaring at him as he staggers his way into the kitchen, “You're just lucky I have two brothers and I'm used to this." she glances down, seeing him standing there in his boxer briefs, “Now, what did you do with your pants?”

“I'm trying to remember. I came in here last night- looking for another drink- got into an argument." he says, turning around looking at the stove. “Oh no way." Laughing he opens the oven and pulls out a pair of jeans.

“Now what in the hell are they doing in there?" Morgan says laughing hysterically.

Milo just shrugs, pulling the phone that was in the back pocket and tossing the pants over his shoulder, “I told you....I got into an argument...with them. Just glad I forgot how to turn the bleeding thing on before I passed out.”

“With no underwear ass up for the entire world to see. Take care of your own coffee. I'm going to go see if I can go scrub out my third eye now."  she says with a slight disgust but a smirk on her face, slugging him in the shoulder on her way into the bathroom.

“I’m sorry Morgs. I’ll make sure to at least make my arse less noticeable the next time I come home pissed.”

“Please do. Or give me a heads up, I know plenty of people that would pay good money for the shot I just got.” Morgan says before closing the door.

His eyes go wide for a moment before a slight blush creeps across his cheeks and he shrugs, “Ya ain’t lyin’, lil bit. Ya ain’t lyin’.”


This Ain’t Once Upon A Time

Miles finds himself in one of New York City’s tiny little bookstores that have packed, random books barely sorted by genre line the walls every which way but right. Professional isn’t the game, but character is. Miles walks through and pulls a book off the shelf, mumbling ‘Bella would love this place.’ to himself before he pulls his phone out and quickly types something out. Only moments later he receives a response followed with an ‘Of course she does.’ shaking his head and putting his phone back in his pocket.

He rounds the corner coming upon the Fantasy section and he pulls another book off the shelf with a tattered cover and smiles, “Just like every other kid, I was always read these fairytale stories. My mum would read to my sis and I everynight from this tattered book she had as a kid. The thing had seen better days, I’m sure it was missing random pages but she loved this book. Briana would always want stories of the prince rescuing the princess. That whole damsel in distress gimmick; which is funny considering she later learned that the prince most of the time is a random fool who can barely tie his own laces.“

Miles has a seat next to a random pile, like I said, the place had character but was in no way tidy, “I wanted to learn about the other creatures. Why did the dwarfs whistle while they worked for slave wages in the mines every day? Why were the Fairy Godmothers having to butt into the  business of the ones that were just trying to get what was theirs and...most importantly....WHY THE HELL DO TROLLS LIVE UNDER BRIDGES? Were they never taught how to build a hut? Or a tent? And what was with that complexion?? Usually they were ugly as sin, green or grey with pimples and hair growing out of random moles. Were their own mothers too afraid to even teach them basic hygiene?”

Shaking his head he drops the well-worn book on the pile next to him. He inhales a bit, shifting his legs and leaning back, “Well I think we will have plenty of opportunity to find out answers to these questions come Blaze of Glory IX. Not for nothing to this Troll character, but I feel like I have led my entire life for this one particular moment of having all these unique questions of mine answered. What is it like to literally live under the bridge? Away from actual real sunlight.”

“It’s gotta be something worthy of a multi-million dollar blockbuster movie. I mean a movie about Facebook became a hit, something about a guy that lives in his mum’s basement and finally reaching and stretching just enough to be...” Miles slaps his hands together, “Smack back to their mother’s basements and their blogs.”

He raises his hands for a moment, “But I mean, if shows like Big Bang Theory taught us anything, there is hope for the losers and the geeks and I wanna cheer for you, mate. I really really do.” pointing to himself, he laughs,  “I too am a Perennial loser so much so that if not for professional wrestling, I would probably still be back in Manchester in my mum's basement.”

“There is HOPE for guys like us. The problem is, by the looks of things, I got the head start. I have some of the FINEST teachers that this business brought us. I’m one of the newest members of the elite group known as Wolfslair, and you don’t get in on something like that by just logging in to a website and signing up. I am clawing my way, fighting through it all just so I hope one day, that the perennial losers look up to blokes like me.”

“And hopefully someday, Wolowitz’s long lost second cousin thrice removed, maybe, just maybe you will have that same chance. Just need to tell mum to leave dinner in the microwave, cause you gotta make something of yourself.”

He stands, brushing his pants off for before reaching down and grabbing the books he set down, “Take advice from one troll to another.”

[The Troll]

Under the Bridge
Wisdom of the Troll

“Well, it looks like SOMEONE got up on the wrong side of the bed. I guess that's what happens when said bed is perpetually empty, eh Krystal? Still no luck with Cassian Reed then, I take it? Cassian Reed, the biggest man whore since like - forever? And you're constant sniffing around the poor guy like a bitch in heat and still, the man takes no interest? I mean, how sad is that? It'd be like Jack Washington trying to score in a women's prison and being shot down. It's just sad! Maybe you should try someone a bit more your speed.”

“Like maybe your little girlfriend Carter down in SCU? Although he probably has more luck with the fellas than you do and … oh, wait. You two aren't friends any more, are you? You and that frigid personality of yours went and ruined what I'm sure was a lively and enduring friendship. Although you never were as close to him as Ariana is. Seems to me the common denominator in all your troubles is…”

The Troll twirled a finger around and pointed it straight at the camera.

“You, Krystal. Maybe you should go back to the kitchen where you belong before you end up ruining anything else you have going for you. Which really isn’t saying very much as I’ve seen you in the ring, at least on the main roster? Down in SCU? Well nobody who is really anybody pays very much attention down in the bowels of the wrestling world. Personally, I think your main issue is that you have this unhealthy obsession with me. My first promo ‘shocked’ you. Then you go and complain and want me beaten up? So I expressed an opinion and you didn’t like it.”

“Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!”

“It must really sting, the way you whined about not making the cut for Blaze of Glory IX and yet…”

The Troll smiled like a fool and motioned both hands toward himself.

“I did. And that’s because unlike you, the higher ups in SCW see something of value in me. That, and they’re scared whether or not I’ll spill any more of your secrets. So go ahead and sic pretty boy Fenris on me! See if I care. You think I'm scared of him? It's a known FACT that all of his so-called -accomplishments’...”

He air quotes.

“Are ENTIRELY made up. It’s just hype to make him seem a bigger badass than he really is.

Then there was that familiar pounding on the door of the basement before it was swung open and from upstairs came that shrill call…

“GABRIEL!! I need you to take me shopping so put on some nice clothes!”

“MOM! I’m BUSY! And why do I have to dress nice just to take you shopping!?”

“For God’s sake! Because we’re going to Target! It’s not like we’ll be going to Family Dollar! So move it!”

The basement door swung shut and the Troll sighed and reached forward to switch off his video feed….

And later it was switched back on.

“Miss me? I bet Miles, you know - my opponent for Blaze of Glory IX - was hoping so. Miles ‘Milo’ Kasey, or should we be addressing you by your new moniker, SCW’s Ass Man? Or does Mister Ass sound better to you? Because even though last week I tried to knock some sense into you and make you see how ridiculous being proud of your bubble butt was, you just kept right on it after.”

The Troll shook his head in dismay.

“I don’t know what is wrong with you Miles, aside you know from the fact that you’re acting like we’re two peas in a pod. That we’re more alike than anyone out there cares to admit. We’re not, you know. I bet in school you were a straight A student while also being the star of the rugby team while knocking boots in the backseat with every pretty girl who shook her fake boobs at you. Or pretty guys who shook their ass.”

The Troll shrugged.

“Who am I to judge? It’s 2021, not 1921 after all. But that’s not even the point! You were probably popular then, just like you’re popular now! (Though I think those ass shots of yours on Twitter have more to do with your popularity than anything you do inside of the ring!) It sure as hell can’t be anything that you have going on up here!”

The Troll tapped his head.

“Here you’re in for the fight of your life and you go on about mythical creatures? I’m just going to assume that you’re just making sport of me, just like all the jerks did to me back in school. Well I rose above them and made a success out myself, just like I’m going to rise above you. At Blaze of Glory IX, the Troll is emerging from beneath his bridge to bask in the spotlight of being a WINNER!”

The Troll did the RVD-thumbs sign to himself with a geeky smile.

“That’s all the time I have now for you plebeians. Next time? The TRUTH about lesbians in professional wrestling! Fact - or fiction?”

He reached toward the laptop and…

[MiloKasey]

Following PWS: Riot from earlier this week:

The trainer’s room seems to be a popular location on this night, few have come and gone but what happened to Miles during his match with Lach...well no one is quite sure what happened. The lights went out, there was a horrific smack, lights came back on and Miles was KO’d on the mat with the chair sitting next to him like someone was sitting there but it was empty. The match had no finish. Lachlan helped Miles to the back once he regained consciousness and took him straight to the room.

“MILES KASEY, YOU GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!” that loud female voice belonged to PWS General Manager, Laura Phoenix. She was already having a bad night before this. She was already talking about going home, and killing an entire bottle of whiskey once her son went to bed. Miles though, he’s pissed off. Someone took what was supposed to be an awesome match between two men that had been training their asses off and showed what they could really do not only in PWS BUT as members of Wolfslair....and it led to that.

He came storming out, junking the make-shift ice bag into the closest bin before grabbing a towel and running it through his hair and looking at it to make sure there was no blood, before flinging it over her shoulder, followed by a bottle of water and dumping it over his head for a moment before chugging the rest down.

“Miles. Man, you really should get back in there.” Lach said sneaking out of the door away from the ranting bosslady.

“I don’t give a rats fucking ass, mate.” he said, tossing him a bottle before grabbing another one, “I’ve been hit a hell of a lot harder in this big empty head of mine and no bitch is gonna stop me from making the trip to Vegas and punch a troll in his even emptier head.”

“Look, I get it, I really do.”

“Good then you’ll understand why I’m gonna do it.” he slightly smirks. “I have been a fuck up more than enough times in my life, I can’t let this curb me right into a brick wall. To that basement dweller, I’m a twitter joke. Someone that tries to keep himself on the level of guys like you and Fenris and apparently gets laughed at because of it. I’m a frat boy joke minus the actual college credits.”

“To be honest mate, I’m nothing to write home about either.”

“But you are a former champion in SCW. You and Si OWNED that Mixed Tag Division and came pretty damn close to other things. For you, it’s only a matter of time. For me I rose pretty damn quick in a place that needed a kick in the pants and then I crashed and burned. And I’m still getting these issues of people trying to make an example out of me.” Miles reaches back and rubs the sore spot that has formed on the back of his neck, “I’ve about had it with that. But I appreciate your concern and what you did in that match. You could have pinned my ass and honestly that would have been fine too. But for now, I’m gonna head home, take some painkillers, throw some ice on my head, wake up, hop on the plane and go send that mama’s boy back to his ‘Lair’.”

And with that Miles gives his stablemate a salute before he can get another word out and walks away.

“Stubborn idiot.” is all that Lach says before heading back into the room.


Save Yoru Jokes

Miles sitting atop of the hotel roof in Vegas overlooking the skyline. He looks up and waving the us in on closer, “Laugh it up now, assholes. Cause after the week I just had, I’m pretty much over it.”

He sighs heavily, “That’s all I am to you, innit? A giant joke that looks great in tights and can flip around.”

“I’m pretty damn good at being the goofy idiot, and I have no qualms about me being at the ass end of a really good joke. But I think we can all come to the agreement that The Troll has zero clue what the hell is ahead of him come Blaze of Glory.” Scoffing for a moment, he shakes his head, “If this idiot would spend more time actually training than he would on his computer browsing Facebook, Twitter and Redtube...I said what I said, he’d actually understand why I throw these things up on social media. Instead he’s a walking talking South Park meme. Instead he tries to make me feel bad about being in almost a fun little competition with Fenris and those glorious abs. Question for ya mate- when was the last time you actually were able to bend over and tie your own shoes? Or does your mum still do that for you?”

“I still have no idea how the hell you managed to pull off your first win, but ya did mate. But your streak ends right here at Blaze of Glory...the reason? Guys like you that sit behind your computer and have the set to judge me. You deserve a punch in the mouth and maybe breaking your fingers for the garbage you spew out.”

Miles cracked his neck before cracking his fingers with a slightly evil smirk on his face, “I was gonna try and be the nice guy, I was gonna give you the benefit of the doubt but when it comes down to it...mate....you’re nothing more than a keyboard warrior with delusions of grandeur about being able to play dress up, pull yourself from the moldy underbelly of Mrs. Wolowitz’s dungeon, and try to be on my level.”

“My arse is out there and I’m not shy about it one bit. I have no issues in wildin’ out, showin off and getting attention. It’s what I do and you are going to be just another highlight on Miles Kasey’s top 25 moments when I beat your poor pathetic arse. And then maybe the greatest ass in SCW, I’ll visit your mum” Miles looks up with a glimmer in his eye, a smartass smirk on his face and a heavy shrug before he turns away with a simple finish, ”..ya know, for research purposes.”