Sunday
10/14/18
Scottsdale, Arizona
11:15 PM MST
Following the events of Climax Control, Seleana Zdunich finds herself in an unfamiliar place in an even more unfamiliar condition. She sits in the hotel room she was supposed to be sharing with her wife, Christina Zdunich, staring at the walls as they almost seem to close on in her. Silence fills the room as she looks from the door to the bathroom and just shakes her head.
Climax Control had been over for a good two hours and the room was as empty now as it had been during the show when the occupants had been down at the arena. Following the revelations shown on the big screen by Kate Steele, Seleana’s family had all been devastated and scattered. Her injured stepdaughter, Brittany Williams, had yelled at her mother and then vanished into the wind. Christina had followed a few seconds later leaving Seleana sitting alone on a bench in the dressing room wondering what she was supposed to do now.
Staring at her phone, Seleana closes her eyes and fires up her Twitter app to look and see if either had mentioned anything. Since this would be the first thing she’d heard or seen after the show, it would be a relief just to see they were at least alive on some level. She quickly scans her timeline and sees Christina has made a couple of posts. Her jaw clenches and she shakes her head.
Seleana Zdunich: Estrellita… varför?
After making a post herself, she fires off a text into the night at Brittany.
“Where are you?”
She stares hopefully at her phone and then nods knowing this will take a second for an answer to even think about coming back. Quickly, she tries a text to Christina as well.
“Where are you?”
A second later, an answer appears.
“Why?”
Seleana stares at it and can almost hear the cross between attitude and fear in the word. Seleana bites her lip as she tries not to burst into tears again and sends a response.
“You have not come back to the room.”
She exhales heavily, hoping both that this is a bad dream and that they can at least agree to talk, even if it would be exceptionally painful to confront whatever truth there was to confront. Christina’s answer chimes back.
“I’m ashamed.”
And just like that, Seleana cannot hold back the torrent any longer. Her worst fears had been realized. She sets her phone down and then squeezes her hands into fists. This was why Brittany had disappeared. She knew the odds were good that it was exactly as was shown and that her mother had likely found a way to destroy things. Swallowing hard, Seleana picks up her phone and messages Brittany again.
“I just want to know if you are alright and if you are going to see Jordan?”
She stares at her phone and starts to ponder things. What should she do in this situation? Calling her sisters would probably not be a good idea considering this very same thing had happened to her youngest sister, Katra, around this time last year and bringing up the memory would not be a good idea. Their middle sister, Zenna, would be angry and reminded of what had happened to her with a male ex of her own almost seven years ago and since that had led Zenna down the rabbit hole of drugs and alcohol abuse, it was not a wound Seleana wanted to reopen any time soon. She exhales forcefully and then tries Brittany again.
“I love you, I want to know you are safe.”
She glances at her timeline again to see messages from Eavan Maloney and Reya Sera Cornett, managing a small smile at their generosity. She answers both of them and then tries another text message to Brittany.
“Please?”
Was this wrong to try and force the issue with her? Teenagers were a strange thing and having one to call her own was still a concept that Seleana was trying to wrap her head around. What had Brittany thought when she’d seen the video depicting her parents getting back together? Was she secretly happy to see this reunion? Was Seleana that bad a parent? Did Brittany really want her to go away and get out of the way of her family? Was she angry at what little family she had was being torn apart again? She had heard Brittany talk of this idea many times before. Seleana nods to herself, hoping beyond hope and tries one last time.
“I love you Brittany, I am sorry this happened.”
What of Brittany ahd discovered the road Christina had once run down herself? What if Brittany was lying somewhere, drunk and fading into the abyss of unconsciousness? What if it was worse? How would they go on if Brittany had…
Her train of thought is broken by chiem from her phone. Seleana looks down to see Brittany has answered.
“Hai”
Seleana smiles broadly through her tears and fires an answer back.
“How are you?”
Before she can really even stop herself, she fires off another one.
“Are you safe?
With no answer coming and realizing she’s just sent off two in a row after Brittany had finally made the effort to do exactly as she’d asked, Seleana wipes the tears from her eyes and fires off a quick message.
“I am sorry. I do not mean to nag.”
She swallows hard and switches over to Christina. What should she do now? What if Christina wasn’t coming back? What if she was? What did Seleana want and which was actually the worse choice tonight? After a few minutes, she nods to herself and sends another message to Christina.
“Do you know where Brittany is?”
An answer comes back almost too quickly, as if Christina was staring at her phone the same way Seleana was.
“No.”
Seleana stares at it and shakes her head.
“Do you think she do something rash?”
When no answer comes back this time, Seleana grips her phone a little tighter.
“Stjärna, please?”
This time an answer comes back quickly.
“I am embarrassed I hurt you, and no Brittany won’t do anything. She’s probably flying to be with her boyfriend.”
Seleana stares at her phone and plays the words over in her head. Was this Christina being snippy or was this her just being in pain?
“You come back to hotel tonight or should I go home and wait for you there?
The phone seemingly goes dead for a minute and then chimes back with an answer from Christina.
“Look it’s not what it seems. One thing led to another. Christina let me back, she wanted me to surface to deal with Kate because she knew she was weak. And well, seeing Todd just gave me memories, that arrogance, one thing led to another…”
Seleana stares at her phone and the tears start to come again.
“You come back to room or need time away from me?”
She closes her eyes and tries not to give in to the ideas in her head. Does my wife hate me? Does she not love me? Should I go drown my sorrows? Should I just go find some of those favors that have been offered in Hollywood at times? Is my life over right now?
Opening her eyes, Seleana looks down and sees no answer has come back from her wife yet. She nods sadly and fires off another text.
“I do not hate you.”
She stands up and starts to look around to see how quickly she can pack up her stuff. It wouldn’t take long since she had not unpacked much at all upon arrival. As she starts to move, her phone chimes with an answer from Christina.
“What Sel”
Seleana stops dead in her tracks and stares at the words. Without punctuation, context or even a complete thought, what does this mean? Was she being snide? Was she being drunk? Was she simply asking a question? If she was drunk, what would she do?
Seleana nods slowly and then fires back a message.
“Ok. I understand. I will fly home and I will be there when you are ready. Please try to find Brittany. She has not answered me.”
Before she can move, an answer chimes back.
“Why aren’t you yelling at me?”
Seleana stands there feeling like she’s been punched in the gut. How do you answer that one?
“Why do you want me to yell?”
Again, an answer comes right off.
“Because you are supposed to be mad and upset.”
Seleana nods.
“I am upset. I am scared. I am worried.”
When no further answer comes over the next fifteen minutes, Seleana sadly gathers her stuff and takes her leave, booking a flight home to Los Angeles and just hoping that there is still a home to go back to.
Friday
10/19/18
Los Angeles, California
The camera opens upon Seleana Zdunich sitting on a couch somewhere, using the camera on her smartphone to broadcast.
Seleana Zdunich: It is a funny thing, focus…
Looking down, Seleana stares at her feet.
Seleana Zdunich: Everyone say you need it, everyone always says few have it and yet, this is not really the case. Everyone has a focus. Everyone is focused on something, it is only when you ask everyone to focus on the same that one can start to say a person has either no focus or has lost their old focus.
She nods slowly, sadly.
Seleana Zdunich: My wife is a perfect example.
Swallowing hard, Seleana takes a deep breath and lets it out, giving life to the melancholy she is feeling.
Seleana Zdunich: People have said Christina lacks her former focus from when she was Crystal Hilton all the time. They say she is not as driven as she was before. They say she lacks killer instinct and even she has said she is weak and not what she was.
Seleana shakes her head forcefully before looking up.
Seleana Zdunich: They are all wrong. Christina is still as focused as ever, her focus has simply shifted. She allows people to continue to shift her focus from what she thinks she wants and therefore she…
Seleana trails off just long enough to raise her free hand to make air quotation marks.
Seleana Zdunich: “Comes up short.”
Her free hand drops.
Seleana Zdunich: Christina is still every bit the talent she was before, no matter what name she uses. If she were to choose to point her focus onto attaining a certain thing and does not split it away from that one certain thing, she will do like she always has. She is still a rose by any other name and still smells twice as sweet!
Shrugging, Seleana looks back to her feet.
Seleana Zdunich: I know some of you are laughing right now. You are saying, “Silly woman, you know nothing. You do not even really know your own wife! You do not know what she will do in five minutes, much less what she will do when she tries to be her former self again.”
She looks up again into the camera.
Seleana Zdunich: You are wrong. I do her and I know that there is a very good reason you all try to split her focus as you do. You know that if you do not manage such a thing, she will take you down and you will have to listen to Crystal Hilton crow about how she beat you until you cannot stand it any longer and it makes you all sick and scared! My wife will be back on top if she chooses to dedicate herself to it as will her daughter. They are both too talented to stay down for long no matter what you do to them.
She nods and then looks down to her feet once again.
Seleana Zdunich: So now, I come to a match where focus will be split because it is a foruway for a title shot and so, how should it be otherwise?
Seleana shrugs, her focus remaining on her shoes.
Seleana Zdunich: There will be four of us vying for a chance to face Evie Baang and all of us wish to attain this status as we have all had our chances previously.
She pauses and seemingly switches to a spot on the floor instead of her shoes.
Seleana Zdunich: Trinity Jones focuses on her past, her perceived shortcomings in a run prior to stepping away. She speaks as if her record speaks more against her than for her and focuses on things she cannot control. Things she cannot change. Things…
Seleana looks up and shrugs almost sadly.
Seleana Zdunich: That do not matter.
She nods knowingly, understandingly.
Seleana Zdunich: Who you were in that former run is not who you are now, Trinity. I never see how you were before and it does not matter because you are a different animal now. You can be whatever you want if you just focus on now instead of then. You are capable of greatness, all you have to do is get out of your own way and you can achieve it!
Sighing heavily, she moves her gaze back to the floor.
Seleana Zdunich: Amy Marshall focuses on her closing window of time for success. She acts as if her entire career is a failure if she does not cash in on opportunities right now. She also focuses on something she can neither control nor change and that is the number next to ehr name in the box marked “age.”
She shrugs again sadly.
Seleana Zdunich: I do not know why you think you are on borrowed time, Amy. Your window is just as open now as it was when you started.
She looks up again, nodding pointedly to the camera.
Seleana Zdunich: Everyone’s window of opportunity is open so long as they are able to walk away from the ring after their last match. If you are breathing and walking, and they allow you into that ring, your window is not moving at all. You have always been capable of greatness, Amy, and that has not been diminished by that number changing. If your focus is pointed at the championship the way it has always been before, that number will not matter. It did not matter before and it will not now unless you allow it to, unless you allow it to consume you and allow yourself to be defeated before you ever enter the ring.
She nods again, even more pointedly.
Seleana Zdunich: You are better than that, Amy. You always have been.
Her gaze slips down and finds her shoes all over again.
Seleana Zdunich: Sam Marlowe focuses on career and her lessons outside of the ring. In some ways this is a thing to be praised. You maintain a level of excellence in both and thus inspire and empower those who take notice. You do yourself credit that way.
She looks up into the camera and nods once again.
Seleana Zdunich: This could also cause you problems as your focus is split. Rest assured, I am not telling you to forsake all other things. That would be foolish and pointless.
She nods even as she shrugs apologetically.
Seleana Zdunich: But if your focus is put in place, you will be unstoppable. You are the talent that can transcend and make little girls everywhere stand up and say, “Ja, I can do anything!” You can be the face that lights the way. The light upon the path that shows everyone how to be.
She swallows hard barely looking down.
Seleana Zdunich: And what of me?
Seleana shrugs, almost laughing at herself.
Seleana Zdunich: Lately my focus has been..
She shrugs again, this time knowingly.
Seleana Zdunich: All over the place. I looked at my shoulder. My stepdaughter and her arm. My wife and her myriad of problems and then last week, I was given a new...
She shakes her head.
Seleana Zdunich: My focus was on everything but a match so good job I had none for the last two weeks. This past week, I have been unable to focus on anything other than what will become of my marriage, my family…
Her gaze returns to the camera.
Seleana Zdunich: But then I saw those I would be facing, the stakes at hand and I realized, I must focus on the match at hand. Forget about my problems and give you three the match you deserve. You all want to face Evie Baang again and so do I. I have stepped into the ring with her twice and both times she has attempted to injure me only to fall short of achieving that. I do not know why she wishes to hurt me…
Shrugging, Seleana glares straight through the camera.
Seleana Zdunich: maybe she dislikes my wife. Maybe she is insulted by my presence in ehr company. I do not know and at this moment, i do not care. I just know she has tried to injure me twice and in order to get back to facing her and proving her wrong i must focus on this match, on you three and I must focus on getting through you.
She stands and nods forcefully.
Seleana Zdunich: I must stand up, walk into that ring and show that this Cat has claws and she is focused on using them for one thing! I will see you three in the ring and we will see who achieves the needed focus this week. I will do my best to show that it is me and put this whole sordid week behind me!
She nods and starts to walk away.
Seleana Zdunich: That… is my focus…
