Last week on Climax Control ended up being a near perfect repeat of the post Into the Void Climax Control as one of the newly crowned champions from that PPV, namely the Internet Champion Senor Vinnie, was defeated by submission by the new champion, Teddy Warren, yes, the same Teddy Warren who had pissed himself in the presence of J2H, so why is this being brought up? Simple, Caleb was next in line for a title shot at Teddy, presumably because of their recent rivalry.
But before all that, Caleb had a warm-up match as he was taking on recently signed Italian Superstar Agostino Romano in singles competition, Agostino Romano had only been in SCW for a few months by this point but the youngster had made an impression despite having yet to win his first title in SCW, can Caleb pick up the win.
Local studio, Las Vegas, Nevada
Friday the 21st of August 2020, 11:00am
Hey, we’re out of the hotel after what feels like forever and damn it, I’m taking advantage of this!
Don’t ask me where the song parody idea came from in the first place, it was just meant to be something used against Teddy for our match at Summer XXXTreme three weeks ago but, well, you know what happened there, and now Teddy is the Internet Champion and I happen to be the next contender for the SCW Internet Championship, coincidence? I think not and a date hasn’t been set in stone for that title match but on the other hand, I know the date for my next match.
This Sunday, at Climax Control.
As for who I’m facing, it’s a guy who I’ve never faced before in the form of Agostino Romano who made his SCW debut a few months ago, more specifically back in May and he’s a former motorbike racer from Milan, Italy.
If your expecting a lot of race car driving puns or knowledge, you’ve come to the wrong place, the most I know about racing is from NASCAR and I tried to watch that once and only once, the only thing that put me to sleep faster was sleeping pills!
Yes, I know there’s a difference between motorbikes and cars and I don’t care! Because I don’t watch any sport that isn’t wrestling!
“Run it by me again.” Katie commented as she messaged her forehead in annoyance and Lemmy sat there with his head tilted as he watched our goings on. “Your planning to ruin a beloved Disney classic song on Climax Control and your going all out on this? What exactly do you mean by that?”
“I mean I’m going to a green screen, a magic carpet and an Aladdin costume.” I explained to Katie and no, the fact that I just said those words in a wrestling promo is not lost on me. “If we had the budget for a genie, we’d use him as well!”
“Genie doesn’t even appear in the original scene!” Katie protested as she shook her head in disbelief. “You do know how many people on the roster have Disney+ right? Are you really willing to butcher a classic Disney song with that in mind?”
“Yeah!” I responded enthusiastically and Katie looked ready to put her head through a window. “Oh, come on, your acting like this will kill me quicker than pissing off Fenris!”
“Considering your last song parody was about the Fenris feud I’m surprised he hasn’t flown back to the US to kick your ass again!” Katie pointed out as Lemmy made a whining noise. “And depending on how he feels about Aladdin, this might drive him to come back to the US for that purpose!”
“I mean, the fact that I specified that I’m parodying the original movie instead of the live action remake might stem the tide of hatred.” I responded with a nervous grin and Katie shook her head in disbelief. “Besides, it could be worse!”
“Caleb, I fail to see how this could possibly be any worse than it already is.” Katie pointed out as she shook her head again. “One of these days, your going to get yourself killed with a zany scheme of yours and I’m going to have to take out a life insurance policy on you before that happens!”
“Oh, come on, do people really take Disney Movies that seriously?” I asked sceptically and Katie let out a huge sigh. “Wait, no, I forgot that Let It Go is a thing.”
“Just don’t parody that song and we’ll be safe! I’m fairly sure that you don’t have the budget for all the special effects that would require anyway.” Katie pointed out and I had to agree with her on that. “Look, if your committed to this whole idea, I won’t stop you, but keep me out of the song parodies! I’m going to take Lemmy out for a piss.” Katie added before walking off with Lemmy’s lead in hand and leaving me alone to do my promo.
“Just ignore the green screen and everything you see being set up behind you, that’s for this Sunday’s Climax Control! And speaking of this Sunday’s Climax Control, this week I’m taking on Agostino Romano in singles action after I was just announced as the Number One Contender for the SCW Internet Championship being held by Teddy Warren as of last week’s episode of Climax Control, and they say that history doesn’t repeat!”
Or is it the other way around?
“Agostino, you have only been in SCW since this past May and I will give you credit for being an impressive wrestler despite not coming from a contact sport background, says the guy who was in a Death Metal band before joining the SCW roster, you know what? Forget I said anything! But as impressive as you are Agostino, I need a win to gain some momentum heading into my title match against Teddy Warren and unfortunately for you, your first on my chopping block!”
I might as well just stick to food puns for this promo.
“I hope you can ketchup with me in the ring Agostino! And before anyone asks about why I’m doing food puns instead of racing puns, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, wrestling is the only sport I watch, every other spot bores me to tears! Especially racing! No offense Agostino but I couldn’t bring myself to watch any of your old races for that very reason, after five minutes I’m either doing something else on my phone or fast asleep!”
Either that or I’ve changed the channel.
“Why? Isn’t it obvious? I’m a music guy! Not a good music guy if you ask one half of the bosses but a music guy none the less and growing up I was more interested in music than anything sport related that wasn’t wrestling, and yet here I am competing in a combat sport for a living, can you spell irony? The point is, whilst I don’t know a lot about sports that aren’t wrestling in general, what I do know is how to kick ass in that ring and this Sunday I will kick your ass all over it Agostino!”
Oops, almost spoiled the song parody, doubt anyone will notice though.
“This match is about one thing for me Agostino and that’s momentum, more specifically momentum going into my upcoming title match against Teddy Warren in a few weeks’ time and your just a stepping stone between me and the momentum I need going into that match! I’m sure you’ll give me a hell of a fight Agostino but at the end of the day, I have a match to win and no former motorcycle racer is going to stop me from winning!”
And with that I decided to wrap things up.
“To paraphrase my favourite TV show theme of recent years, toss a coin to your singing wrestler, o valley a plenty, o valley a plenty! Or preferably, a win heading into my next title match! Agostino might be impressive but I have the experience edge over him and that will play to my advantage because Agostino had better brace himself as there’s a storm brewing, otherwise you’ll be blown away by “The Metal Storm” Caleb Storms!”
Katie returned with Lemmy as the scene fades.
