Disneyworld was supposedly the happiest place on Earth but this Sunday it was playing host to the first Climax Control of the amusement park run that would take them to Summer XXXTreme VII on the 22nd of July and in the second match of the night Jessie Salco was going one on one with Parand Ara, a woman Jessie had earned the ire off with her extremely controversial comments about her home country Syria culminating in two attacks, one by Parand following a non-title match between Jessie and then-Roulette Champion Sam Marlowe and the following week with Jessie nearly breaking Parand’s leg in a backstage assault.
However, it all came to ahead at Into the Void VII, whilst Jessie was conducting an interview with Ms. Rocky Mountains in the parking lot of the Gold Coast Casino Parand tried to ambush her only for Jessie to see it coming, security broke up the brawl but not before Jessie issued a challenge for a Roulette Rules Match at the next Climax Control which brings us to the present day, Jessie has a lot to prove against Parand even though Jessie beat her twice during Parand’s original run but can Jessie win?
Wondering around Disneyworld, Florida
Friday the 8th of June 2018, 14:00pm
Never thought I’d ever conduct a promo from Disneyworld, then again, I never thought I’d see Parand Ara return to the ring, let alone SCW, either so what do I know?
Unless you’ve been living under a rock since the SCW reboot back in April you’d know that there have been two people in the center of all the controversy that’s been surrounding me in recent months, Ben “I’m getting old and need a hashtag to stay relevant” Jordan and Parand “what the fuck was Mark thinking bringing me back” Ara and because some idiots would rather live in their happy place than hear the truth me and Josh Aquin have been banned from getting any title shots, period.
Except for when Mark thinks we have no chance of winning apparently.
For those who missed Into the Void VII, seriously, get out from the rock you’ve been hiding under, it can’t be comfortable, I was attacked by Parand as I was wrapping up an interview with Ms. Rocky Mountains regarding my title match at the show (during which, I will stress, we weren’t pinned in when London Underground regained the titles) and I finally had enough of her bullshit and challenged her to a Roulette Rules Match, pretty much because I couldn’t think of an appropriate match type off the top of my head.
What’s that? Tai Pei Death Match? Not after the last Tai Pei Death Match I competed in caused me to miss the last Climax Control of 2015!
Off course what I didn’t realize at the time was that the next lot of Climax Controls were going to take place at Amusement Parks, starting with the happiest place on Earth, Disneyworld, or it won’t be after I destroy Parand Ara on Sunday! Right now, me, Jake and Shane are walking through Disneyworld in our least offensive metal shirts, namely a generic Kreator shirt for me, Sepultura’s Chaos AD shirt for Shane and a Judas Priest shirt for Jake, with the cameras following us.
“I’m still surprised that Disneyworld agreed to have SCW host a Climax Control here.” Jake commented as we walked through the Magic Kingdom part of the park on our way to Main Street USA. “And that was before you challenged Parand to a match.”
“You’re telling me, I thought it was going to be an international tour or something but a theme park tour?” I asked with a shrug as we walked through the park. “To make matters worse, they’re enforcing a no swearing rule, because its not like I’m facing a heated rival on Sunday or anything!”
“I’m just hoping the wheel lands on Falls Count Anywhere.” Shane shrugged his shoulders and we gave him an odd look. “It’s not like SCW, or any wrestling promotion ever, has had an opportunity to have one of those matches in a theme park, let alone Disneyworld.”
“I’m just hoping for something that’ll fit our rivalry, something really violent to traumatize the kids and send the soccer moms into a frenzy.” I responded with a grin and the boys gave me dirty looks. “Hey, if Disney outlawed swearing during promos/Climax Control and not excessive violence I think me and Parand should make it our mission to make them see the error of their ways.”
“And if you thought Christian was angry at Mark for giving Alice Knight his credit card…….” Jake trailed off as we saw a guy in a Mickey Mouse costume posing for pictures with the other tourists. “Come on, let’s get some pics with Mickie, I mean its not like we’re ever coming back here, right?”
“I’m still wrapping my head around the fact that “let’s get some pics with Mickie” was said during an SCW promo!” I responded as I shook my head before Jake paid for five photos, two group shots and three solo pics with me trying to get the devil horns behind Mickie’s head in each of my shots.
“Okay guys, big smiles!” The cameraman called out as we posed for our last pic with Mickie, Shane was on one knee and had the devil horns up, Jake had his arm around Mickie (and the guy in costume did likewise despite the massive size difference) and I kept up the whole “trying to get the devil horns to poke out from Mickie’s head” thing. “Okay, here’s the pics and enjoy your stays at the park, watch where your walking big fella or you might bang your head against something!”
“Like I haven’t heard that one before.” Jake responded as he rolled his eyes before we walked off, we eventually stopped for a rest and I plopped down on the bench. “So, what next? I think we spent most of the week going on all the rides.”
“Yeah and you had to go in the back of each one because the kids kept complaining about not being able to see past you, at least me and Shane didn’t have that problem.” I responded with a grin and Jake grinned sheepishly, I spotted one of those “you are here” boards across the street from us and motioned to it. “You know what? Why don’t you guys go figure out what to do next and I’ll focus on my promo.”
“Sounds like a plan, remember, no swearing.” Jake reminded me, and I rolled my eyes before he and Shane went over to the board leaving me to do my promo.
“Disneyworld, happiest place on Earth, you know, if I had known that my match against Parand Ara was going to take place here I probably would’ve challenged her to the same match type but at Summer XXXTreme instead! But then again, how often is it that I get to wrestle at Disneyworld at all places? This Sunday on Climax Control I’ll be doing just that as I go one on one with Parand Ara in a Roulette Rules Match that’ll hopefully put this whole thing behind me!”
But knowing my luck, it won’t!
“Even two months to the day I still wonder what on Earth Mark was thinking bringing Parand Ara back to Sin City Wrestling, did he forget her vicious attack on Vixen on her first night on the job? Or the fact that she came this close to strangling her opponent on her first night back! And yet, because I hurt someone’s feelings, I’m the bad guy in this scenario?! Because I dared to speak the truth when everyone else was busy kissing a washed-up has-been’s hairy rear end I’m the one that’s vilified? And because I’m the one who dared point out how ungrateful the idiots in charge where in the wake of the whole Team Eric fiasco me and Josh get banned from receiving title shots? I swear if Parand gets a title shot after I beat her on Sunday I’m going to scream!”
And they probably will do that just to spite me!
“Parand, you’re a joke to wrestling, you never won a single match in your career but when Mark brought you back out of the blue your suddenly treated like a former World Bombshell Champion? I don’t care what hole Mark dug you out of Parand because this Sunday I’ll send you back there and SCW will be a much better place for it! As I said before, I’m being vilified for being the only Bombshell on the roster willing to speak the truth because the truth hurts but not as much as you’ll hurt after I’m done with you Parand.”
And now for something that’s been bugging me.
“This week on Twitter I brought up the fact that during your original run with the company Parand I sat back and let Vixen deal with you, why? Because as far as I was concerned, if I could beat you then so could my stablemate but now Vixen is no longer in the company and I’m fighting you in her place, Christian, the MENSA member that he is, basically accused me of fighting Vixen’s battles for her apparently forgetting that this whole thing started because Parand can’t handle the truth and attacked me unprovoked! This Sunday’s match might be taking place at the Happiest Place on Earth but for you Parand it may as well be the unhappiest place on Earth after I’m done with you!”
And with that I decided to wrap things up!
“I am now about to say something I never thought I’d say in a wrestling promo, time to traumatize kids at Disneyworld! Why? Because this Sunday’s match will be the most violent thing this place has scene in its forty-year long history and that’s not counting any accidental park deaths for obvious reasons! Parand, I don’t know how they let you into the park with that headgear of yours on and in today’s weather I don’t know how you can stand walking around in that thing but here’s one thing I do now, this Sunday’s match will be violent, it will probably get me banned for life from all Disney owned parks and most importantly, it’ll put this whole business behind me! This is the heavy metal angel Jessie Salco signing off, see you on Sunday Parand!”
Jake and Shane returned to me with a plan as the scene fades.
