(OOC: Sorry for the lackluster showing. I had more planned, but wasn’t feeling good today. Trying not to make this a habit, but also trying to get a story started so I don’t struggle going forward)
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Monday May 22nd, 2023
Well it’s been a hot minute since I’ve taken the time to sit down and actually write in this journal. That is probably a mistake on my part, because I’m not gonna lie, but the last few weeks have been a bit of a struggle. A lot more than recently and as much as I hate to admit it, I think Artie may be starting to catch on. He won’t come out and say it, but my Artie is not stupid. He knows when something is up, and I know that he can tell that I’m not one hundred percent myself.
I really thought Jack and I would make it to the finals and then eventually win the tournament. Even though Jack didn’t particularly like me or having to team with me, I thought we did pretty great at fighting through those differences. We counted on each other, and while Jack did his part, I guess I didn’t hold up my end of the team, because in the end I was the reason we lost. It was always going to end that way I suppose, right? After all, Jack is the former World Champion and current Internet Champion. Everyone knows he can handle his side of things.
I let him down and I let myself down. I’m not going to deny it. But, even though Jack didn’t move on to get that World Championship shot that he wanted, he still moved on to defend his championship and retain it. He had nothing to lose. And what happened to me? I decided to stick around in SCW and try and give it another go and so far…not off to a great start.
I went on to face Seleana at Into The Void, but again…it didn’t go my way. I just…wasn’t myself. I barely showed up, and Artie even knew it. I tried so hard after Jack and I lost to bounce back and not let it bother me, but it just hit me hard and I could not focus. Imagine that! Bobbie Dahl couldn’t focus! I don’t even fully understand it, but I gotta do something to nip this in the bud and quick, because otherwise, what the hell am I even doing here, right?
After Jack and I lost, I could have just packed our bags and called it quits again, but honestly, after going back home, what would I have done? Not a whole lot other than take care of Loki. I don’t know what it is, but I always get sucked back into SCW one way or another. I just hope this time, the inevitable disappointment doesn’t completely break me. Because it won’t be pretty.
But I have a chance to turn things around this week. After facing, and losing to Seleana, now I’m being put up against Mercedes. Talk about a big challenge. One I probably don’t even deserve. Unless this is a test.
That’s it! This is a test!
They’re waiting for me to fail again. Expecting me to. And what better way than to put me up against someone as accomplished as Mercedes. I mean a loss to her should be no big deal right? But a win against her on the other hand would be big. I would look better in their eyes. Worth the investment of the contract they extended to me.
No matter the reason, I’ve gotta get my head in the game and get over this funk I’m in, because if not, I’m only going to continue losing. And I’m going to continue looking like a bigger fool than I already am. I have to make this time different! I can’t be such a failure this time because how can I expect anyone to take me seriously if all I do is lose?
I’ll figure it out, I’m sure. I’ll find a way.
Somehow…
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