The scene opens up backstage at the Santa Cruz Fairgrounds, just moments after the final Climax Control before Summer XXXtreme has gone off the air. Seated directly in front of the camera, on a couch in one of the backstage locker rooms, is none other than the man who everyone is talking about after what just happened in the ring, Nick Jones. Nick is staring directly into the camera as it focuses in on a tight shot of him.
Nick: Well hello there to all of you SCW fans. I figured I would save us all some trouble and get this out of the way right now. We all know after what happened in that ring a few minutes ago, there's going to be a lot of non-stop questions flying around all over the place, most of them directed at me. So considering the fact that you won't be seeing much of me until Summer XXXtreme kicks off two weeks from now, I thought it best to do us all a favor and beat you all to the punch, by getting this out of the way now. Now I know what all of you clueless idiots are probably thinking to yourselves right now, that this was all some big evil plan that I devised long ago and have been slowly building to for weeks. How it was all some big act all along just to be able to lead up to this moment. Well here's a newsflash for you folks, you could all not be more wrong.
Suddenly, the face of Nick's personal bodyguard, Tony Capicelli pokes up from right behind Nick as he interrupts his boss, looking straight into the camera as he also addresses the fans.
Tony: Don't listen ta dis guy, a'ight'? He ain't neva' changed all dis time.
Nick turns his head to look at Tony, shooting a look of annoyance in his direction.
Nick: Shut up, you stupid ginzo.
Nick shoves Tony away before turning his attention back to the camera.
Nick: This idiot has no idea what he's talking about. You want some further confirmation? Hey Mark....
Nick sits on the couch waiting for a moments, but there's no reaction.
Nick: Mark!!
After a few more seconds without any response, Nick gets annoyed as he then screams.
Nick: HEY LIMEY!!!
The familiar voice of the SCW's Co-Owner can be heard in the background.
HS: What?!?
Nick: Get your ass over here!
A moment later, the face of "Hot Stuff" Mark Ward can be seen ducking into the camera shot.
HS: What do you want?
Nick: Now you know me better and longer than any of these clowns in this company or watching at home. Now tell me, does it sound anything like me to have the patience to spends weeks and weeks to pull off this long, drawn out, convoluted plan just in order to be able to hit some guy, who I've already beaten before, with a move?
HS: Hell no. You don't even have enough patience to wait in line for the bathroom.
Nick: Thanks, that's all. I'm done with you.
Nick waves Mark off, who shoots Nick a dirty look for that and his last comment, but doesn't bother to make an issue of it as he walks off out of the shot as Nick turns his attention back to the camera.
Nick: So let's have that settle all of these conspiracy theories, shall we? I mean, if I really wanted to do nothing more than take Jordan down with the best of all, you really think I would have saved him from getting jumped by Kain or take a chair shot to the head for that big bald goof? Now if you asked me now why I did those things I can't tell you what the hell I was thinking, but it certainly wasn't just to do something I could have done any time I wanted. Everything you saw me do right up until the moment of that handshake was exactly what I said it was, and exactly what it looked like. If all I had wanted to do was lay Jordan out, I could have done that any time I wanted. I didn't need to waste months building up to it, or even need to catch him by surprise, already proved that at Into the Void. You want to know what really happened?
Nick hesitates for a moment, seeming to be thinking things over before continuing on.
Nick: Truth be told, there was something that was bothering me all of this time. I could never quite place my finger on it, but I knew something just wasn't right. A little something in the back of my mind that was unsettling and I couldn't figure out why it wasn't going away. Then it all became crystal clear. The second that handshake happened, it all came together. That Nick Jones you've all be seeing in recent months? That's not me. That is not the person who I have ever been in my life; it's not the man who was this company's greatest champion and that was not the man who is the one of the best this industry has ever seen. That man, whoever the hell he was, could never be those things and in that one moment, I finally realized that. Jordan Williams was no friend of his, he never was. I let other people get in my head and convince me I should be something I'm not, and Jordan just got lucky enough to be the beneficiary of it. Of course, he was also unlucky enough to be the one to help me realize the error of my ways, as unintentional of him as it may have been. So in that moment, as I finally realized who I was, why I was that way and why I should be that way, I find myself with the perfect opportunity to become that person once again. So I did just that, and in a blink of an eye I was once again standing tall over Jordan Williams and you all saw before you the talent that is unmatched in this company, in this entire industry, return to the SCW and back in the center of that ring.
A huge smirk appears across the face of Nick as he thinks about his own words.
Nick: Sure, after weeks and weeks of trying to do the "right thing", of listening to all of this advice and guidance and "self-help" I ended up surrounded by, there was a while there I was starting to get convinced by it all. Then as I was standing in the center of that ring, face to face with my biggest obstacle to regaining my SCW Championship, and wondering how I was going to make sure I overcame that obstacle in two weeks, when it hit me, I had already done it once before. I realized in that moment, the easiest path to success is to simply go in a straight line, and plow straight through whoever stands in my path. Sure, I knew I wasn't taking Jordan out of the match by doing what I did, but I was simply making a point. I was reminding Jordan who the better man was, reminding Jordan what happened the last time the two of us met in the ring. Of course I'm sure you are all wondering, what about the rest of them? The other four who will be in that ring with us in two weeks. Well...
Nick laughs and shakes his head before continuing.
Nick: They're even less to worry about than my "friend". Let's take a look at this supposed plethora of wrestling talent that will be in that ring with me. Let's start off with the one who I've spent the most time in that ring with, my biggest fan, Kain. I'm not sure what even really needs to be said there. I've shown time and time again that Kain doesn't stand a chance against me. He talks a big game every time we're getting into that ring together, but every single time I still emerge as the victor. Having four more people in the ring with us isn't going to magically change that. He cannot beat me, I've proven that, and it's not going to change. It doesn't matter the match, it doesn't matter the stipulations and it doesn't matter what's on the line, every time he and I are on opposite sides of that ring, I always walk out victorious. Just accept the fact Kain, that as long as I'm around, the best you can ever hope to be is #2 here in SCW. Although a quick look around tells me even that might be a bit of a stretch for you to accomplish.
Nick chuckles to himself as he continues on.
Nick: But let's move on, shall we? Next up we've got the new kid, Lucas Darby. This kid is in way over his head, that much should already be clear. A few weeks back he managed to find himself in the middle of this mess between Kain, Jordan and myself, and came out on the losing end of that one. Earlier tonight, it was like he didn't even shown up for the match and when all was said and done, he was the one with his shoulders down on the mat for the three count. You may have caught some eyes when you first got here kid, but the truth of the matter is you're not ready to hang with the big boys. There's nothing wrong with that, it takes everyone some time to get to that point, but all that I care about is what will be happening in two weeks and let me promise you, you're not ready for this. Just do me one favor and try not to get yourself taken out by one of these other ring vets in a flash while the rest of us are busy kicking each other's asses. That is unless, of course, the ring vet in question is me, then feel free to get dropped for the loss any time you like.
A grin forms on the face of Nick at the thought of that as he keeps speaking.
Nick: So who do we have next? Oh yes, the little protege of my old inbred buddy Austin, Bo Dreamwolf. Listen Bo, I know you still hold a grudge with me because I'm apparently to blame for the fact that you couldn't win some ridiculous mud match to retain that second rate title you had, but I don't think you really need to think about that sentence for more than a moment to realize how completely asinine that is. You probably do have one advantage over everyone else in this match when it comes to me though. You see, with a trainer like Austin, you have a man who has first hand experience to teach you how to deal with despising me so much but having to accept the fact that there's not a damn thing you can do to stop me. To sit there and watch me be far greater than he ever was or you ever could be. He's managed to deal with it for years, as much as I know it kills him deep down inside, so I'm sure he can give you some pointers on how to deal with the fact that no matter how much you want to see me lose at Summer XXXtreme, no matter how hard you try to make it happen, you're destined to fail. Come to grips with that before we step into the ring, and you'll be better off. Oh, and just one more thing Bo...
Nick raises his hand up in the air.
Nick: HOW!
Nick laughs quite loudly for a moment before regaining his composure.
Nick: Then there is last, but most certainly not least, our glorious reigning SCW Heavyweight Champion... Rage. Oh Rage, how impressive your reign has been. One title defense and all you could manage was a draw? So, so sad. And to think, it's just two weeks until everyone watching at home and everyone in this company, including you, knows that you have zero chance of actually retaining that belt of yours. The only slight sliver of a chance you had just disappeared minutes ago when I remembered who I truly was. Let's be honest with ourselves Rage, I've already proven I can beat you without any trouble whatsoever. Sure, you may have snuck away with your little victory last time around, but it was really just the perfect storm for you. Let's be honest, I had lost my way then and the truth is, I had victory well within my grasp, but foolishly let it go because I don't want to win the match "that way". Of course, you didn't seem to have any problem winning "that way" when four of your little buddies came running down to the ring in order to help you steal a victory over the "new" Nick. Well Rage, that time is over now, now I'm back to the Nick Jones of old and as I'm sure you remember oh so well, when you stepped into that ring with THIS Nick Jones a few months back, we all know what happened. I beat your ass, right in the center of that ring, all on my own. I laid your ass out and put your shoulders down on that mat for the three count, with no interference, no cheating, no help of any kind. It's just too bad you cannot say the same for yourself, can you? Rest assured, I can promise you right now, I won't be letting that crap happen again. I don't care how many of your little cowardly punk ass friends you want to bring along for the ride, you're not walking away with my title this time. I'm sure you and plenty of these other guys will try to blow this off, give some sorry story about how it's all words and it doesn't mean anything, but let me just remind you of one very simple fact: it ain't bragging you if you back it up. Because you see, I'm not cocky, not at all... no, it's simply that I'm just... the... best.
A big smile comes across Nick's face before he then looks over his shoulder, turning towards Mark and the members of his entourage that fill the room and speaks to them.
Nick: Now let's get the hell out of here.
Nick stands up from his seat on the couch and starts to walk away as suddenly the camera filming them suddenly turns off as the shot cuts to black.
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The scene opens back up to the halls of the backstage area at the Santa Cruz Fairgrounds. Walking through the halls are Nick Jones, with his arm around his girlfriend Diana, as he talks next to the man walking next to him, "Hot Stuff" Mark Ward. Walking behind the three of them are the members of Nick's entourage, Big B, Tony, Jimmy and Max. As the scene finishes fading in, we pick up on the ongoing conversation between Nick and Mark.
Nick: I have to say, it was kind of refreshing not giving a crap what anyone thought of me again. Those boos I got to finish the show were actually kind of nice.
HS: I hear you, yank. I've been there before myself. Those cheers are a hell of a lot bigger pain in the ass to earn than the boos.
Nick: You're not kidding, I can get those boos in my sleep. I'm just glad I didn't have to hear any shit from you when I got backstage because I dare hit your bald little buddy.
HS: I think you should know better than that by now. I'm not getting involved in any little spat between you two or anyone else around here. I've got enough of my own crap to worry about to sit here and start making sure other people get along. Kick the crap out of each other all you like, just keep me the hell out of it.
Nick: That's the spirit, limey. Although we'll see if you have the balls to tell Jordan the same thing when he comes crying to you.
HS: I really don't think I have to worry about that too much. I only really ever have to deal with one of my friends who feels the need to give me crap for any time something doesn't go his way around here.
Mark then has a sly grin come across his face as he shoots a look in Nick's direction out of the corner of his eye. Nick does not seem to get the direction of that comment at first as he walks on, but when it suddenly becomes clear, Nick stops in his tracks and put his hand onto Mark's chest, stopping him as well, as the rest of the entourage is quick to stop behind the two of them. Nick then turns to Mark and shoots him an inquisitive look.
Nick: And who exactly would that be?
HS: Oh, I wouldn't worry about it. I don't think you know him.
Mark lets out a little snicker before going to walk on, but Nick is quick to get a smack across the back of Mark's head before he gets out of reach. Mark grabs his head and rubs it for a moment before looking back at Nick.
HS: What the hell was that for?
Nick: Oh, I wouldn't worry about it. I don't think you know why.
Nick purposefully laughs obnoxiously loud after that comment and then walks on past Mark with Diana on his arm. Mark just shakes his head and continues along as the entourage follows behind them. After a few moments of silence, the conversation starts to pick back up.
HS: So what do you think Mister Self Help is going to have to say about your recent change in behavior?
Nick: I'm not sure what gives you any impression that I really give a damn with that little lunatic thinks.
For the first time, someone else chimes into the conversation as Big B speeds up and sticks his head between Nick and Mark to interject.
Big B: Well actually, I saw Despy just after the show, and he said he thought we should setup another appointment for you to have a follow-up session with Mr. Self Help.
Nick: You can tell that psychopathic nutjob to screw off. If I never see him again it will be too soon.
Big B: Um... ok. I'll, um... tell him you're busy.
Nick: Whatever.
Big B backs off to rejoin the other entourage members walking behind Nick, Diana and Mark as they continue on with their conversation.
Nick: The point being limey, there's a whole ton of people out there who are going to be less than pleased with me now, but if I gave a crap about that, I wouldn't have done what I did in the first place, now would I?
HS: Of course not, I just wanted to see what you'd say. Plus it's always funny to get that idiot cousin of yours to chime in every now and then.
Big B can be heard calling from behind them, it seeming by the tone of his voice he took offense to that comment.
Big B: HEY! That's not...
Before B can even finish, Nick looks back at him and cuts him off.
Nick: Oh shut up, will you?
Nick turns back to Mark to continue their conversation, just as the group is walking out from the backstage area they were walking through and emerge out onto the open fair grounds.
Nick: Well the thing is...
Suddenly what appears to be some balled up piece of garbage goes flying by Nick, causing him to stop short and stop what he was saying.
Nick: What the hell was that?
Before an answer can be determined, another item follows, this time an Icy cone which hits Nick right in the side of the head. Most of the cone bounces off and falls to the ground, as some of the Icy is left behind and starts to drip down Nick's face before he whipes it off and his face starts to turn red with anger.
Nick: Can somebody tell me what's with this crap?!
As Nick says that, the entire group looks around to see just outside of the backstage area they just left, there is a huge crowd of people that seem to have been waiting. They are held back by the fact that there are some security railings and SCW security keeping the fans back just out of reach, but they still surround the group on all but one side. As the group appeared out of the door, the crowd seemed to go even more rowdy as lots of booing was heard and obscenities were being scream.
Nick: This is crazy. Well I guess we're going this way. But what...
Before Nick can get out another word, he ends up ducking as a half full cup of soda goes flying right at his head. He manages to get out of it's way just in time, however as it sails over his head, it proceeds to go on and nail Diana right in the chest, spilling all over her, and down her shirt, in the process. The amused look that was on Diana's face a moment ago completely disappears in an instant.
Diana: Are you kidding me with this shit?!? What is wrong with these filthy trash?!?
Nick: I've never seen anything like this before. This doesn't make any sense.
HS: I'll tell you what the hell is going on... HIM!
Mark points directly at Nick as he says that.
Nick: Me?!? What the hell did I do?
HS: Are you kidding me? What the hell have we been talking about all of this time? THAT is what you did. Come on, let's get you out of here.
Nick goes to follow after Mark, but Mark pushes him back.
HS: Not you dumbass, I'm getting as far away from you as possible. Come on Diana, you're soaked, let's get you the hell out of here.
Mark then looks back at Nick.
HS: Good luck to you and your cronies.
With that, Mark quickly takes Diana by the hand, and the two rush off through the crowd, with nobody seeming to pay them any attention as it all still seems to be directed straight at Nick, as more booing and cursing is accompanied by even more garbage being thrown at them. Nick then turns to his entourage.
Nick: Will you idiots do something?!?
Tony and Big B quickly turn to one another and nod. They each walk to a separate side and go up to the security barriers nearby. Meanwhile, both Jimmy and Max try to subtly move past Nick, but he is quick to catch them.
Nick: Where the hell do you think you two are going? If you think you're following after Diana and Mark you've got another thing going. You two putzes are staying here with me if you value those jobs you've got. Got it?
Jimmy: Nicky, baby, of course... we weren't going to leave you.
Max: Well actually, I...
Before he can finish his sentence, Jimmy slaps Max on the arm, causing him to stop mid-sentence. Meanwhile, as Tony and Big B try to control the crowd they are taking very different approaches. On one side, B is going up to the fans and doing his best to calmly remove any items from them that they could be throwing, even going so far as to politely ask for them to be handed over. In the process, numerous fans choose to instead to throw their items at Big B. On the other side however, Tony isn't being nearly as nice, as he can be seen throwing punches into the crowd and knocking people over left and right, causing much of the crowd to go scattering away. Meanwhile, Nick tries to continue on along the path in front of them, covering his arms over his head as he tries to deflect away all of the garbage as he slowly moves along. Jimmy and Max are then sure to stay well behind Nick to avoid getting hit with anything. Upon realizing this, Nick spins back around at them.
Nick: What are you two doing?
Max: Avoiding the garbage.
Nick: Not for long!
Nick suddenly grabs each man by their arm and pulls them up onto either side of him. He then pushes them along next to them, using the two men as body shields, as they both start to get pelted with various things from garbage, drinks, hot dogs and more. Nick seems to be far happier now as he remains mostly able to avoid being hit by anything after that point and begins to move quicker through the crowd, which only increases the rate at which Jimmy and Max are getting hit with things, much to their dismay, but clearly to no concern of Nick. As they reach a point which suddenly opens up more, a limousine than comes flying up right in front of them and screeches to a halt. As the window opens, Nick clearly fears what could be coming and shoves both Max and Jimmy directly in front of him to block whatever that may be. However, as the window opens, Hot Stuff is seen sticking his head out.
HS: Cut the crap yank and get in!
Nick: Where the hell is Diana?
Diana's head is the next to pop out of the window a moment after that.
Diana: Right here, you moron. Now get in!
Nick has no further objections, as he's quick to push both Max and Jimmy aside and opens the door and hops straight into the limo. Max follows suit and just as Jimmy as about to climb in, he turns back to the men they left behind.
Jimmy: Tony, B... let's go, baby!
Jimmy hops into the limo as well and moments later, Tony runs over to the limo with Big B right behind him. Tony goes to climb in but looks at B, who has his arms filled with all of the garbage he took away from the fans.
Tony: Put dat down, ya dumbass!
Tony then smacks the pile out of B's arm, causing it all to fall to the ground right outside of the limo before climbing in. B looks down at the pile, seemingly upset about it but before he can react further, Tony reaches out from the limo, grabs B by the arm and pulls him in, then slamming the door shut behind them. The limousine then speeds off as he cut to the scene inside of the limo.
Nick: Holy crap, that was ridiculous! I've never seen anything like that before.
HS: I wish I could say the same. You just experienced what it's like to feel the true hate of the wrestling fan base.
Nick: What the hell are you talking about? I really can't believe that's all there is to it. These fans have always hated me, from the day I showed up in GXW. What the hell is so different now?
HS: More than you could possibly realize, yank. You said it yourself, these fans have always hated you. Hell, in the past you were really just doing what they had come to expect from you. They were actually kind of entertained by their regular hatred of you, it wasn't a big deal. Now? That's all changed. For the first time ever Nick, these fans really started to like you.
Nick: Yeah, so what? They liked me for a little while and now they hate me again. Big deal.
HS: To them it is a big deal. These past few months, these fans had come to expect more from you Nick. They started to like you, connect with you, and they even started to make even look up to you a bit. Not only were you being a good guy to them, you were going around and getting your own ass knocked out in order to save someone who's been one of their favorites for as long as I can remember. And then, all of the sudden, after for the first time in your career that they started to believe in you, that all went away. The way they see it, tonight you turned your back on THEM when you went back to your old ways. This time, Nick, your actions hurt them. It cut deep and they're not soon to forget that.
Nick: You can't possibly be serious. Hate is hate, what difference does it make how you felt about me last week?
HS: That may be how you and I see it, but it's not how they see it. I still remember the first time I lost these fans support. It was the beginning of a feud that seemed to never end, and it all started the day I showed up and laid out Billy James and cost him the GCW title. When that all started, my beef wasn't with anyone else, not in the company or of the fans, but just Billy, but that didn't matter. They no longer saw me as who they thought I was, and from that day forward everything changed.
Nick: Seriously? Because of something you did to that obnoxious loser?
HS: Yep, that's all it took. They loved the guy and I was the one of us who they felt was the wrong-doer, and so they turned on me. All of this crap you're seeing now, I see it all too and trust me, this is far from over.
Nick: I guess the good news now is that I no longer have to make any excuses as to why I hate these classless, loser, douchebags who come to our shows, as they've given me more than enough justification for that now.
HS: That's the spirit. Who needs them to like you when you can just hate them back instead, right?
Nick: Exactly. And the longer I sit here covered in this crap, the more I grow to hate them.
HS: Oh, stop your whining, yank. Here, clean yourself off.
Mark reaches into his bag and pulls a towel out which he tosses over to Nick. Nick then starts wiping himself off with it before mumbling under his breath back to Mark.
Nick: I wasn't whining.
HS: Sure you weren't, and B here isn't an idiot.
Big B: Thanks Mark!
Mark looks at Big B, seeming to be confused, as he is not quite sure if B's serious. After a moment of realizing Big B was completely oblivious to Mark's insult, Mark starts to burst into laughter and is quickly joined by the rest of the group. B looks confused at the laughter but soon starts to join in, trying to act as if he knows what is going on as the scene fades.
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The scene opens back up a few days later inside the home of Nick Jones. In the master bedroom, Nick and Diana can both be seen with their luggage setup on top of the bed as the get their bags packed for the upcoming cruise for SCW's next supercard, Summer XXXtreme. As they are packing, Diana seems to be going over item by item of what she is packing with Nick, who seems to be paying no attention and merely nodding along with whatever she says as he packs his own bag. Diana realizes what is going on and with that, decides to change her approach for a moment.
Diana: And THIS is what I'll be wearing if you're reeeeeally good.
That comment is quick to draw Nick's attention as he looks up at Diana. He then sees Diana holding her hands out, but seems confused by it.
Nick: I don't get it. What is what you'll be wearing? You're not holding anything.
A smile comes across the face of Diana.
Diana: Exactly.
Nick's confused look persists for a few more moments until he suddenly gets it, at which point Diana giggles at the immense change of Nick's expression.
Nick: Sounds great to me!
Diana: I thought you'd like that, and I think you'll like this one too actually. Here's my bathing suit that I bought for poolside during the cruise.
Diana grabs something off of the pile she has next to her suit case that she has been packing from and proceeds to hold up which is a very tiny and thin string bikini. Nick's eyes go wide for a moment, before his look then turns to one of displeasure.
Nick: Now hold on one damn second.
Nick then reaches across the bed and pulls the bathing suit out of Diana's hand, looking at it more closely for a moment before turning his attention back to Diana.
Nick: You know, it's one thing for ME to see you dressed, if you can even call it dressed, in something like this. It's an entirely different thing to let the rest of the clowns on that ship see you like that. You think I'm really going to let this company full of creeps and pervs and the even creepier and pervier fans that will be there see you dressed like this? Come on, you can't be serious.
Diana begins to pout as Nick says this.
Diana: But I look SO hot in it, and I know you'll love it. Won't it feel great to make everyone else jealous that you have what they never could?
Nick: Nice try honey, but I'd really rather not have more than half the boat spending their nights playing with themselves to the thought of you.
Diana: What do you care? You'll be too busy playing with the real thing.
Diana strikes a bit of a sexy pose, but Nick remains unconvinced as he shakes his head.
Nick: Trust me, there's no complaints there, but the last place I want my girlfriend is taking up residence in a bunch of creepos' spank banks.
A disgusted look spreads across Diana's face with that comment.
Diana: Thanks for being so vivid.
Nick: I'm just trying to drive home my point here.
Diana: Yeah, well... I still want to wear it.
Nick: Fine, give me one good reason, outside of you looking hot, that you should be wearing this thing.
Diana: Well, um... I look REALLY hot in it?
Nick doesn't even respond, simply shooting a look in Diana's direction who nervously laughs in response.
Diana: There's also um... oh, I've got it! If I'm wearing this bathing suit, I'm sure we'll end up getting a whooooole lot of free drinks from the bartenders when we're sitting out at pool side.
Nick stops for a moment and seems to think over what Diana just told him.
Nick: Since you put it that way...
Nick then takes the bathing suit and tosses it back to Diana, who becomes very excited as she packs it away in her bag.
Diana: Thanks honey, I knew you'd come around! And since you're ok with that, how about this bathing suit I picked up for you?
Diana can't help but laugh as she picks up something else off of her pile and tosses it over to Nick. Nick takes it, looks it over and notices it to be a rather small speedo bathing suit. Nick does not seem nearly as amused as Diana by this.
Nick: Very freakin' funny. Yeah, there is not a snowball's chance in hell that I will ever be wearing this thing. You couldn't force this thing onto my dead body if it came down to it. I mean...
Nick stops himself as he looked up from the item to Diana, to see a look of complete shock on her face, to the point that her jaw has even dropped.
Nick: What? You really can't be that shocked that I said no to this stupid thing.
Diana doesn't say anything but simply shakes her head in response. She then raises her hand and points behind Nick. Nick seems confused for a moment but eventually turns and looks to see what exactly she's pointing at. As he turns, he sees standing in the doorway is his cousin Big B, with the particularly shocking matter being that he is currently dressed in an all white old time sailing outfit. B stands there with a big smile on his face while Nick is left speechless. With B now having both of their attention, he starts to speak.
Big B: Hey guys! Just wanted to come by and let you know I'm all packed and ready to go!
Nick then bursts into hysterical laughter as he looks at his cousin.
Big B: I don't get it. What's so funny?
Nick suddenly stops laughing and catches his breath before responding.
Nick: Well you're not serious with that thing, right?
Big B: Serious about what?
As Nick becomes aware that his cousin is actually not joking, his amusement quickly turns to annoyance.
Nick: What the hell is wrong with you?
Big B: What?
Nick: What is... that??
Big B: What is what?
Nick: That, that... thing that you're wearing.
Big B: Oh this? Isn't it awesome?! It's a sailing uniform. I wanted to make sure I'm all ready to go for our big trip. I'm prepared to hit the high seas!
Nick: You look like a member of the Village People!
Big B: Really? Thanks!
Nick: That wasn't meant as a compliment.
Big B: Oh. Are you sure?
Nick: Yeah, pretty sure.
Big B: Well I'm sorry you feel that way.
Nick: You're going to feel even more sorry when I tell you, you're not wearing that crap.
Big B: What do you mean? Of course I'm wearing it. What do you think I'm wearing.
Nick: No, no. You don't understand. I'm saying you aren't going to be wearing it anymore after this.
Big B: Why not?
Nick: Why not? Because I'm not going to walking around with you dressed like that.
Big B: Well then we just won't walk around together when I'm wearing it.
Nick: Yeah, that doesn't work for me. People know you and I are related, and I'm not going to let anyone associated me walk around looking like... that.
Big B: What am I supposed to do though? I bought a whole bunch of these for the trip. I bought enough of them to be able to wear one for every day of the entire trip! I'm all packed up, and that's all I have in my bag.
Nick: Well then you better go and repack your bags, because none of those damn things are coming with us. Got it?
Big B: Yeah, fine, whatever.
Nick: Good, now you better go take care of that. Run along.
Big B: Fine!
Big B turns and starts to storm away until Nick calls after him.
Nick: Oh, and B...
Big B: Yeah, cuz?
Nick: That means changing out of the one you're wearing right now, too.
Big B: But why?
Nick: Because you look like a horses ass, that's why.
Big B: FINE!
Nick: Oh, and one more thing. You did remember to get your passport, right?
Big B: Yeah, of course. You only reminded me about it like a bazillion times. I'm not an idiot you know.
Nick: If you say so. Well I just wanted to make sure, because you know you can't go on this trip if you don't have one.
Big B: I know, it came in the mail just the other day, so we're good to go.
Nick: Good, because if not you were going to get your ass left behind all alone. Now go change and pack.
Big B: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Big B turns away and walks off with his head down, looking rather upset. As he leaves, Nick then turns back to Diana.
Nick: What the hell is wrong with him?
Diana: God only knows.
Nick: I just can't believe I'm related to that imbecile.
Diana: It makes me grateful for what an asshole you are.
Nick looks up from his packing and shoots Diana a dirty look for her last comment.
Nick: Excuse me?
Diana stops and thinks about what she just said, and is quick to look up to Nick and try to explain.
Diana: Yeah, that came out wrong. Let me try again. I'm just saying, I know a lot of people have a lot of less than wonderful things to say about my love and well, I can't say I disagree with ALL of them.
Nick shrugs at that comment, seeming to take little issue with that.
Diana: The point being, that while at times I might get a little frustrated with you, B always reminds me it could be worse. I mean, at least you didn't end up with the genes from his side of the family and end up like THAT.
Nick: Um... thanks?
Diana: Take that however you like, but figure after all these years of dealing with your crap, I'm still here.
Nick: Tough to argue with you there. Alright, let's get this crap finished up, we need to head out of here soon.
Diana nods and then the both of them go back to finish packing their bags as the scene fades.
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The scene fades back in to the port where you can see the Royal Monarch Cruiseline cruise ship docked and beginning boarding for SCW's Summer XXXtreme. As we move towards the check-in area for prior to boarding, we see the arrival of Nick Jones, Diana Roberts, and their entourage. As the walk in, we catch an ongoing conversation between Nick and Max.
Max: I'm just saying, I have a tendency to have some motion sickness issues. Oh Gawd, this is going to be a nightmare.
Nick: Suck it up Maxi-Pad, you'll be fine. We got you every motion sickness medication possible and even those stupid little wrist-band things.
Max: But what if they don't work?
Nick: Then we'll just get you drunk and that way you won't know, or care, why you're puking.
Tony bursts into laughter from Nick's comment, drawing a displeased glance from Max.
Max: That's not funny!
Tony: I dunno, I's t'ink dats pretty friggin' funny ta me.
At that point, the ground of them all arrive at the check-in counter for the cruise liner. Nick walks to the head of the crowd and begins to speak to the woman behind the counter.
Nick: Hi, we're checking in. Reservation under Nick Jones.
Woman: Alright, if you could give me just one moment, I'll bring that up.
The woman starts typing away on her keyboard and after reading the screen, she looks up to the group in front of her and then back down to the monitor. She then looks back to Nick with a look of concern on her face.
Woman: Do you perhaps have a second reservation in addition to this one?
Nick: What? No. What the hell are you talking about?
Woman: According to what we have in our system, your reservation is only for a party of two. One Nicholas Jones and another Diana Roberts.
Nick: Oh, you have got to be freakin' kidding me.
Nick then turns back around and looks at Jimmy.
Nick: Hey dipshit, didn't you think to look into this?
Jimmy: Me? Why me? I thought you had this all under control.
Nick: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was so hard to expect you to do your job while I was busy, you know, MAKING ALL OF THE DAMN MONEY!!
Woman: Excuse me sirs, if I could interject for one moment, I may have a solution for you.
Nick turns his attention back to the woman behind the counter.
Nick: And that would be what exactly?
Woman: Well, those at SCW who booked this trip with us made sure to let us know that they wanted to keep some rooms open for those people traveling with their contracted talent. So we do have room for these other four gentlemen as well.
Nick: That's great, why didn't you say so earlier? Let's get this thing moving.
Woman: Well that's not all sir. You sir, they asked us to keep those rooms available, but did not cover the cost. Therefore, in order for these four men to board the ship, you would still need to purchase tickets for them, as well as make arrangements and pay for their rooms for the trip.
Nick: Well isn't that just fantastic.
Woman: I'm so sorry for the inconvenience of this sir, I really wish there's something else I could do.
Nick: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Hey Maximus.
Max quickly makes way to the front of the pack, moving up next to Nick.
Max: Yes, Mr. Jones?
Nick: Pay the freakin' lady, will you?
Nick then goes to step out of the way, but then stops and turns back to the woman behind the counter.
Nick: Oh, and be sure to give them the cheapest accommodations you have.
Woman: Not a problem, sir.
Jimmy: Nicky, baby. Come on, show a little love to your boys. You can do a little better for us than that, can't you?
Nick: Do you want to pay for this damn thing yourself?
Jimmy: No, but...
Nick: Then I suggest you shut your mouth and be glad I'm not leaving your asses behind.
Without another word said, Jimmy quietly slinks back into the back of the group as Max continues along with sorting out the payment details with the woman and writing out a check to cover the costs. After they finish everything up and sort out the paperwork, the woman then turns back to Nick.
Woman: Alright, well that should do it. I just need to see all of your passports.
Nick: Not a problem. Here are mine and Dee's.
Nick reaches into his bag and pulls out two passports and puts them on the counter in front of the woman. He then turns back to everyone else and puts his hand out.
Nick: Hand 'em over boys.
With that, one by one Nick is handed passports from Max, then Jimmy and then Tony. Nick continues to stand there with his hand out, but nothing else comes. Nick then looks to Big B who is standing there, staring off into nothingness and not even reacting to Nick's request at all. Nick then snaps his fingers right in front of B's eyes, causing B to confusingly look at Nick.
Nick: Passport ya big doof.
Big B: I already told you before I have it.
Nick: I know that moron, but I need you to give it to me.
Big B: When?
Nick: Now!
Big B: Oh, but I don't have it now.
Nick: What the hell are you talking about? You just said you already got it.
Big B: I did, but I don't have it with me.
Nick: Well then where the hell is it?
Big B: You were making such a big deal about it I wanted to make sure I kept it safe. So I left it back home.
Nick: WHAT?!?
Nick takes the passports he's holding, tosses them onto the counter in front of the woman and then puts his face into both of his hands and screams at the top of his longs for a few seconds. After that, he looks up back at Big B, looking quite furious.
Nick: What the hell is wrong with you?!? I told you that you needed the passport for THIS TRIP!
Big B: I know, and that's why I made sure I got it before this trip.
Nick: Then why the hell didn't you bring it with you?!?
Big B: Well you didn't tell me I needed it WITH me.
Nick: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?
Nick goes to leap at Big B, but is caught just in time by Tony who manages to hold Nick back and keep him from attacking his own cousin.
Nick: You moron!! You know? That's it! We're leaving your ass behind!
Diana: Nick, calm down, it will be fine. There's still plenty of time before the ship is set to leave. B can go back and get his passport and then everything will be fine.
Big B: Yeah, what Diana said. I'll just go back and get it. No big deal.
Nick: No big deal?! I'm related to the biggest dipshit the world has ever seen and it's no big deal?! I'm sick and tired of this crap. You...
Nick then suddenly stops and to the surprise of everyone else, a smile suddenly appears.
Nick: ... you go ahead and go back and get that passport.
Big B: Oh ok, I will. Great. I'll be back in a bit guys!
Big B quickly turns and runs off to go grab a taxi outside and head back to the house, leaving everyone else behind.
Jimmy: What's with the sudden change of heart?
Nick: It's quite simple really. Thanks to SCW's cheap asses making us pay for you four losers separately, I just came to a realization. You four are on a completely different reservation than the two of us. So if you'd excuse me, me and Diana are going to go check in. You three have fun waiting around for my single brain-celled cousin while we go get comfortable. And just to be clear, I didn't want to see any of your asses on that boat without him. Got it? If that means none of you end up making it onto this ship with us, well then I guess that's your problem, huh?
Nick then slaps Jimmy across the back before putting his arm around Diana and approaching the counter with her.
Nick: Myself and Diana will be the only two checking in at this time.
Woman: Alright then, not a problem.
The woman looks over their two passports, punches a few things into her computer and moment later, some items print out from the printer setup next to her computer. She pulls out two tickets and another page detailing their room reservations, along with two swipe card room keys. She then piles then up and puts them all on the counter in front of Nick.
Woman: Here you go sir, you're all ready to board. You have a nice trip.
Nick: Oh, we will.
Nick then turns back to the three entourage members standing behind him.
Nick: You kids have fun, and maybe we'll see you later. Maybe.
Nick laughs before he and Diana turn and walk off towards the boarding area of the ship. As they get out of view, Tony is quick to turn to Max and Jimmy.
Tony: You's twos betta' go catch up wit' dat idiot B and make sure he gets dat t'ing and gets back here quick, a'ight? If you's friggin' morons ain't back here in time for us to catch dis boat, I'm gonna kick all three of you's asses, capiche?
Jimmy: Um, yeah... cappitch, baby.
Tony: It's CAPICHE.
Max: Right, capeesy.
Tony: UFFA!! You's twos idiots just go already, a'ight?!
Tony raises up the back of his hand and in that moment, both Max and Jimmy are quick to rush off after Big B to try to help him out, just as Tony demanded. As they run off, Tony is left behind just shaking his head as the scene comes to a close.
