“Da Damsel in Dat Dress” Azurine Vebbins set a somber scene sporting a black pair of glasses, neck halo, monokini, and one fishnet stocking on a jutted right leg. For thematic effect, her left leg remains bare while limboing towards a lectern. She gently grips her podium before discussing her opening orchestration at Sin City Wrestling Climax Control 300.
Azurine Vebbins: Wearily wrinkled, you gandered here because of similar sufferin’. Whed-er it’s on a doorknob, bachelorette bauble, or bein’ used as floss by someone you fancy foxtrottin’, we commiserate and celebrate Lost Sock Memorial Day on Sunday, May 10. Unlike my competition at Climax Control Dree Hundred, Bella Madison, you valiant voyeurs must also be estranged from your biological mod-ders, too. It’s a chance to come clean while searchin’ for dirty laundry. Dat bein’ uttered, dough, I wish all da blessed for dose dames who diligently dote on deyr daughters and sons such as Laura Phoenix, Roxi Johnson, Keira Johnson, Grandma Lorraine, Aunt June, Aunt Euphoria, Aunt Reinette, Cousin Nike, mi primera suegra, my second supportive spouse despite bein’ separated, and many more to be mentioned elsewhere. Laura specifically raised a strong-willed second-generation grappler who’s gonna glide gracefully.
Dose in attendance at da Gold Coast Casino could cheer for Madison based on wantin’ to make her momma proud. Meanwhile, dey’ll be chantin’ for me to cross anoder name off my “Dream Dance List.” Bella might technically have a leg up, but view my genuinely gawkable gams and tell me dey won’t work in waltzin’ her spoiled sass ‘round like a wicked whirlin’ dervish. On da plus side, our feel-good flamenco should have a tremendously temptin’ tempo to follow. As for da negative? Bella Madison shouldn’t be shocked if I don’t tap to da pleasure when amateurly applyin’ Bella Notte. No. Sufficient static electricity shock should be sent to her mandible as well as clavicle when I pop her proper wid my patented Pearly Gatekeeper. Maybe den we’ll be surfin’ similar brainwaves? Y’know since her and I will bode naturally notion ‘bout bein’ barefoot on a sun settin’ beach.
“Da Adorkable Angel” smirks, double blinks her eyes since she’s incapable of winking, and then bows her head meekly.
