RP Title: “Rocking the Waves!”
Over the past several weeks Caleb has been involved in a Battle of the Musicians between him and Teddy Warren to the point where Mark finally had enough of it and booked them in a match for Summer XXXTreme, Caleb was happy to have some proven competition following the debacle with Tiberius the Great of Elysia the previous month but for all of Teddy’s eccentricities he was a tough competitor, can Caleb go two for two in PPV victories?
Caleb’s hotel room, Las Vegas, Nevada
Saturday the 25th of August 2020, 16:00pm
There’s no accounting for taste, I swear to god!
Following my win over Tibby at Into the Void (and his disappearance) I wasn’t sure what the next Supercard period would hold for me, I tried to persuade the winners of the Queen and King for a Day Matches to book me on their cards but that didn’t work and I ended up having to wait until week two to see any action, and my luck against real competition (namely Malachi and Lachlan Kaine) wasn’t much better.
Then Teddy Warren entered the picture.
The battle of the bands was entirely his idea, hell I didn’t even know that he was a drummer or had a drumkit but we still made music that was a lot better than what Mark described it as, then again he’s the idiot who thinks that dad rock like Skid Row is anything other than bland, uninspired music, like every other Hair Metal band that came out in the late 80s and stole the spotlight from more talented and deserving Thrash Metal bands.
Sorry, went on a bit of a tangent there.
But enough bashing of the band who’s lead singer bears a striking resemblance to Griffin Hawkins, I have a match to talk about! Namely my match against Teddy Warren at Summer XXXTReme in two weeks’ time that was booked by Mark after he confirmed that he is a jackass with absolutely zero taste in music but then again, anyone with working ears and half a brain will be able to tell you that Skid Row is uninspired bland bullshit and I’m going to kick Teddy’s ass all over the cruise ship.
Only in wrestling can I say that I’m going to kick someone’s ass on a cruise ship and A: not be barred from said ship and B: not be arrested for making threats but I digress!
“He seriously considers this better than Megadeth and Cannibal Corpse?!” Katie asked with a dumbfounded look on her face as we listened to Skid Row’s debut album (self-titled because of course it is) in full whilst we kept Lemmy busy with one of his favourite toys. “I mean the singer’s good but the rest of it is uninspired, hair metal bullshit and that’s me being generous!” Katie added and not only was I agreeing with her, but I was eternally grateful that we were listening to it through Spotify having not spent a dime on this.
“And he calls real music shit, typical of a mainstream moron.” I responded as I rolled my eyes before exiting out of Spotify and looking for something good to listen too on YouTube, I heard a notification on my phone and I checked it seeing that Christian had taken time out of his day to be the Grinch to all dog owners (namely me and Candy) on the SCW roster whilst completely ignoring the cat owners on the roster, because off course he is. “And Christian is being a jackass.”
“In other news, sky is blue, water is wet, Lemmy is adorable.” Katie responded jokingly and Lemmy’s ears pricked up upon hearing his name. “I’m guessing it’s to do with the fact that SCW has gone to the dogs.” Katie added as she motioned over to Lemmy.
“He’s as predictable as the Mean Girls were with their insults.” I responded with a nod as Lemmy walked up to us, I stroked him on his head, and he tried to lick my hand only to realise that he still had his toy in his mouth. “Only not nearly as annoying as they were, I almost stopped watching SCU because of how annoying Veronica Taylor was getting during her feud with Ariana Angelos and Krystal Wolfe.”
“At least we got to see her get her ass kicked by Krystal in that special cage match a few weeks ago.” Katie nodded in agreement before a thought popped into her head. “Who’s more annoying, Christian, the Mean Girls or Te……….”
“Teddy.” I responded almost immediately as I shook my head whilst Lemmy plopped down next to me. “He’s a decent drummer at best but the way he talks, you’d think he was on the same level as Nick Menza of Megadeth, may he rest in peace, Gene Holgan of to many bands to name, Paul Bastoph or Dave Lombardo of Slayer and I’m not even getting into modern thrash drummers like Carlos Cruz of Warbringer or Death Metal drummers like George Kollas of Nile.”
“True enough, though considering the skills of those drummers I doubt there are many who could be considered in their league.” Katie nodded in response and I was glad that we had the camera running the whole time because it was time, I did my promo. “I’m going to take Lemmy out for a poop and a walk, shouldn’t be that long.”
“Good, I got a promo to do anyway.” I responded and Katie grabbed Lemmy’s lead from the coat rack, Lemmy started bouncing all over the place as he waited for Katie to put her mask on and attach the lead but once it was attached to his neck they were off and I got started on my promo.
“So, what did we learn in the time between now and Into the Void? Teddy Warren is a decent drummer at best, Mark Ward has the worst taste in music on the SCW roster and I’m not naming names but that’s saying a lot! Oh and apparently two guys trying to one up each other in musicianship is as good an excuse as any to book them in a wrestling match on the biggest PPV of the Summer, Summer XXXTreme with the caveat being the elephant in the room known as Covid-19! Regardless next week me and Teddy will be rocking the waves as we square off in singles action!”
This will be interesting.
“Second PPV in a row where I’m in a nothing matches where I could be competing for something other than bragging rights, typical! Anyway, it’s like I said when Teddy told me to bring my guitar to that episode of Climax Control I didn’t even know he had a drumkit or that he had progressed beyond the beginner level but if he wants to play along with me in terms of musicianship he has a long way to go because unlike Teddy, I’ve actually played in a band!”
A good one too!
“And it was better than that bland, uninspired bullshit known as Skid Row, a name I pretty much only know because they provide Mark with his entrance music! Granted my band never got beyond the local level but that band combined had a lot more talent as musicians than Teddy Warren could ever hope to possess and I’m not just saying that because I was the lead guitarist/vocalist! What’s that? When am I getting to the wrestling match? Don’t you see how connected this is?”
Now I’m sounding like a conspiracy theorist!
“To put it simply, I played circles around Teddy when we did that Battle of the Bands segment on Climax Control and next Sunday, I’ll wrestle circles around him in the same way! Well, okay not the same way because last I checked musical instruments are banned in wrestling matches that aren’t No DQ but my point is that Teddy couldn’t keep up with me in terms of musicianship and he won’t be able to keep up with me as a wrestler, two fields were he’s decent at best in!”
It’s that simple.
“Look, I know better that in all things, we all start as beginners! I’m three years into my wrestling career for crying out loud and I’m only going to get better but Teddy? He’s been wrestling longer than me and he still hasn’t gotten any better at it, I don’t know how long he’s been playing the drums but I’m willing to bet that he hasn’t improved massively in that area either if his drumming is any indication and next Sunday I’ll be playing a drum solo on his head!”
And with that I decided to wrap things up.
“And it’ll be better than that drum solo Phil Collins blasts out in In the Air Tonight! Speaking of air, Teddy must really be air headed if he thinks that he’s a better wrestler or musician than me because spoiler alert: he isn’t, but he’s deluded himself into thinking that he is! Something that could describe half the SCW Roster really! But Teddy had better brace himself because there’s a storm brewing, otherwise he’ll be blown away by “The Metal Storm” Caleb Storms!”
Katie returned with Lemmy at that exact moment as the scene fades.
