It’s a miracle night for two
Starring Senor Vinnie and my opponent for this coming Climax Control Malachi.
July 12th 2019
Tijuana, Mexico.
We are at the swimming pool of Senor Vinnie, where he is tanning to take out Valora West after this show and go to the beach. He is grinning from ear to ear as there’s no cloud in the sky that could stop the sun from burning down upon his self proclaimed perfect body.
Senor Vinnie: Isn’t this nice Pete?? The Sun, the hot weather, the pool, the perfect way to spend the afternoon while thinking about Senorita Valora….. errr keep your potted mind out of the thoughts YOU could create about her!!!
He quickly raises his sunglasses and studies his cactus that is on the edge of the swimming pool, the pot that he is in has a Bermuda swimming trunks where the ends of it touches the water. He stares at his cactus with intensity, as if he is reading it’s mind
Senor Vinnie: I can sense you were indeed thinking about that blonde stewardess Pete, you are lucky that I am capable of flying Tijuana Air as they always promise to go further than any other airlines to keep their customers satisfied. And with the amount of money I am spending to keep you from soiling your pot better be worth it!!!
Silence
He nods his head in response to the “answer” that Pete has given him, he puts his sunglasses back on and rests against the beach chair that he is sitting in. A lovely Latina maid comes into shot as she hands him his drinks, he nods his head as she walks off. He starts to drink from his beverage and sighs after a while. He places the drink on the table next to him before turning his attention back to Pete.
Senor Vinnie: I know! I have been so occupied with how to make my briefcase look even more golden that I have failed to beat a Raab. I mean seriously?? How could I not win?? But that’s okay, I am sure that he will come dripping over to me somehow after I cash in my briefcase successfully and tell the world that he was better. Yawn, I hate these people so much, it’s like how Senorita Valora always told me that she likes the true gentlemen in the world of sports. Just like yours truly…, I…
Silence
Senor Vinnie: I regret what happened to my amigo Ty West, I still hope to this very day that he will accept my apologies or just have us fight it out and gain our respect once again that way. Even though I would rather see us shake hands, give each other a hug and a fist bump before the night is over. I mean seriously, we are all adults no?? We are both class act superstars as he has won a championship and I am destined to win mine. I….,
Silence
Senor Vinnie: I know that I have not been able beat a champion for the belt! You don’t have to rub it in you know??? I am very sensitive for repetitive notions that people make to me. I am always the fraud, the fake fighter, I am not a singer and I sure as hell do not look like that singer from that German band you know!!!!
He winks into the camera as he knows that the resemblance between him and Till is remarkably close. But to this very day he still believes that he is more handsome than the older singer of Rammstein.
Senor Vinnie: But you know something?? I am not going to keep myself being distracted by lesser important things. There is only a few things in life that I care about, that’s wrestling, singing and more importantly Senorita Valora West. That’s right, I am going to be on a quest to redeem myself, making the world witness that one thing that they have never seen before. Me winning the gold and asking senorita the one important question that I have been dying to ask her for a long time.
Silence
Senor Vinnie turns to Pete with an annoyed look on his face.
Senor Vinnie: No I was not talking about adopting another cactus.
Silence
Senor Vinnie: Why not?? Are you seriously asking me why not? Isn’t it quite obvious?? Since you have hit mainstream, I have been getting emails from supposedly cactus fans that are telling me that their cactus wants to have your babies!!! I like you Pete, but it’s best that you do not reproduce a line of offspring upon this world!! We aren’t ready for multiplying Pete’s!!!
Silence
Senor Vinnie rolls his eyes and is clearly aware that Pete isn’t giving up just that easily.
Senor Vinnie: I am not suggesting any blue pills to the cactus doctor! So you better quit it while I am still having a good time Pete. Besides, I assumed you were so fertile as it could be!!!
Silence
Senor Vinnie face palms himself
Senor Vinnie: Are you telling me that you have problems with ….. I’m not even going to say this on live television
Silence
Senor Vinnie: I don’t care whether there are talk shows these days discussing every single problem that cactuses may have when it comes down what to do when it has not rained for eleven days in a row!!!
Silence
Senor Vinnie: I could care less whether you are going to use Red Bull energy drink that would give you wings!! It will still not help you when it comes down to (BLEEP!!!)
The shot goes into a commercial break, where Senor Vinnie productions and all of its employees especially Senor Vinnie are very sorry for the foul language that had to be bleeped out of the conversation between Senor Vinnie and Pete the cactus. When we get back we see Senor Vinnie standing at pool side, tapping patiently with his feet in anticipation of the statement that Pete will make as he has a written letter in front of him.
Senor Vinnie: And remember Pete, you need to talk slow and clear into the microphone so that everyone can hear you.
Silence
Senor Vinnie: I know that I have written it??? Because I know that when I would allow your mind to come up with the words that seems so normal to say then I have to cut off the spikes on top of your head!!!
Silence
Senor Vinnie: Yeah?? Well…, uhm…, take that!!! Yeah!!! Take that!!!
Senor Vinnie walks from left to right, keeping an eye on Pete as he is listening to it’s written “speech”
Senor Vinnie: NOOO!!!! NOO!!!! You aren’t representative to what you stand for!! chest outwards, smile and don’t drink any alcohol!! Last time you were I had to buy a microphone for your vocabulary to be even more dis-functional than a grasshopper on crack!!!
Silence
Senor Vinnie: How I know that?? Don’t tell me you have forgotten my last maid Lupe that you had attempted to get her drunk before you started to do striptease rummicub!!!
Silence
Senor Vinnie: Yeah??!! Well I thought so!! Just like I have figured out that my opponent is a fighting Irish and he is as tough as they can be. He is a fighter, he is a man that was also on the supr show and I wonder…, does he show up or is he drinking into the beverage of his own shame??But he is a tough cookie I am sure. But is his cookie an enough challenge for me to square off against the destination GB???
Silence
Senor Vinnie: GOLDEN BRIEFCASE!!!
Senor Vinnie is annoyed as he leaves the room and bumps into another camera.
Senor Vinnie: So Malachi???Are you ready to tango??? To do a slow dance?? Or just let those hips move in the beat of my guitar. I will shook you up and make you do the merengue like a pro before I drop you hard on your back and make you see the stars that I will become. Oh yeah, I said stars… I like to multiply the obvious that is right in front of you. staring you down before yourun off and scream for any assistance. But like everything else that I will be doing lately…, to turn nothing into gold… and to have your golden hope and dreams shoved down to the corridor of forgetting who you truly are.
So instead of just figuring out what I am saying, let me just explain it to you Senor…. I was destined to be the very best… and I am going to show it to you this coming Climax Control… the very best is never wrong Senor… Adios amigo….
With that the shot slowly fades
