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NOT YOURSELF

Narrator: Most people know that Bill Barnhart is an outstanding wrestler but what they do not know is that Bill is a Philanthropist. That means a person who seeks to promote the welfare of others especially by the generous donation of money to good causes. That is why Bill participates in numerous fundraising events, in contests against his English Bulldog Iris, to raise money for good causes. It does not matter which of them wins as the money raised goes to help others. They have held pizza eating contests, burping contests, and even a farting contest, as fundraisers to raise money for organizations. Today we are going to show you the video of the farting contest Bill and Iris had, as a fundraising event to raise money for Gwinnett County, Georgia, to help single mothers who need assistance in keeping a home, food, clothing, and services, for their family. The event took place on August 19, 2018 at Georgia Gymnastics Academy located at 98 Patterson Road in Lawrenceville, Georgia. Enjoy the video.

BILL AND IRIS FARTING CONTEST FUNDRAISING EVENT

Video of fundraising event from August 19, 2018

The scene opens with a shot of the inside of Georgia Gymnastics Academy located at 98 Patterson Road in Lawrenceville, Georgia, where we see Bill, Bea, and Iris Barnhart sitting at a table in the lobby.

Bea: Thanks for joining us today. A month ago we had a Pepperoni Pizza eating contest between Bill and Iris at Marcos Pizza on Sugarloaf Parkway in Lawrenceville, Georgia. Bill won the pizza eating contest by one-quarter of a slice so Iris was disappointed and accused Daddy Bill of cheating. Her disappointment was short-lived when the Manager of Marcos Pizza sent Iris home with a large Pepperoni Pizza just for her. When we got home you cannot imagine how quickly Iris downed that large pizza.

Bill: Today we have a fundraiser where the money from this fundraiser is going to help single mothers who need assistance in keeping a home, food, clothing, and services, for their family. This one is an event men will understand. It is a farting contest between myself and Iris. For those who know Iris understand she can knock a Boeing 747, flying at 40,000 feet, out of the sky with one of her nasty farts, so I am sure she is gonna give me one hell of a challenge. Iris I know you want revenge on me for kicking your ass in the Pepperoni Pizza eating contest but I am here to tell you that you are going down in defeat again! I am confident you cannot out-stinky-fart me today!

Iris growls and snorts at Daddy Bill to show him she is in control of this farting contest.

Iris: *Growl!* *Snort!*

Bill responds by growling and snorting back at Iris and then he hugs her and gives her a kiss on the nose.

Bill: *Growl!* *Snort!* Ha ha ha! You sure are funny Iris. I love you so much let me give you a kiss on the nose. It does not matter if I lose a stinky fart contest, or even next year at our annual Pepperoni Pizza eating contest, because we are doing fundraising for great causes.

Bea: Are you two ready to rock, or should I say blow some smoke, and finish the stinky fart contest fundraising event for today?

Bill and Iris look over at Bea and then the two look at each other and have a stare-down.

Bea: Here is how the farting contest fundraiser works. Bill and Iris can eat any of the various and interesting foods on these tables to fire themselves up for their stinky fart contest. We have some great smell-producing foods here today. Pepperoni pizza, sauerkraut, boiled eggs, onions, vinegar, sardines, soda, beer, and a host of other things. When I say GO! you two have a maximum of thirty minutes to do your thing. The winner is either the first person, or dog, to let out a fart that the fans here inside Georgia Gymnastics Academy decide is the worst they have ever encountered, or one of you concede the victory to the other. Ready? GO!!!

Bill and Iris chow down on all the stuff that will enable them to release stinky farts. Bill tries for an early win by bending over, pressing on his stomach, and trying to release a stinky fart. He lets one fly but not a smelly one. Iris takes a different approach by eating and eating and eating and holding it in. Bill tries for another win but again he has not given the food enough time to create toxic stuff inside of him.

Bea: Ten minutes have passed. Unfortunately no stinky farts have been passed yet. Come on everyone! Get loud and cheer for Bill and Iris!

The crowd starts cheering with half of them cheering for Iris and the other half cheering for Bill. When Iris hears her name being chanted by the crowd she downs a hell of a lot more food to get her insides churning.

Bea: Twenty minutes have passed. Come on you two you can do better than this. Especially you Iris!

We see a look of betrayal on the face of Bill as it appears Bea is cheering for Iris. He downs a lot of sodas to get the carbonation churning in his stomach. Suddenly, and without any indication that Iris was ready to let go, Iris spins around a few times and she lets out one of the loudest and, without a doubt, one of most vile, disgusting, and toxic farts ever recorded on Planet Earth. Her fart is so nasty that people in attendance are choking and gasping and a few of them have fainted. As the stench from the fart of Iris rise and come in contact with the smoke detectors and fire sprinklers the smoke detectors start sounding an alarm and the fire sprinklers fire off sending a cascade of water down on into the gym and soaking everyone inside.

Bill: I GASP conceded to you Iris! CHOKE Just me get the hell GAG out of here so I can breathe!

Iris is declared the winner of the stinky fart fundraising contest. The people inside the Gym are desperately trying to get outside. We see the Gwinnett County Fire Department Hazardous Material Clean-up Crew that arrived on the scene.

Bill, Bea, Iris, and the cameraman, get out and walk up to the gate of the dog park. They notice on the signs at the entrance of the dog park that the first warning is AGGRESSIVE DOGS AND DOGS IN HEAT ARE PROHIBITED. The four walk into the gate and let Iris off her leash to run around. Not thirty seconds of being in the dog park an aggressive dog runs up to Iris snarling and growling and trying to bite her. Iris ignores the aggressive dog but once the aggressive dog bites her Iris takes revenge. She snaps at the aggressive dog and with Iris having a big mouth the bite, although not enough to draw blood on the other dog, did make the other dog regret attacking Iris. The owner of the aggressive dog runs up to Bill to complain.

Owner of Aggressive Dog: What the hell is your problem? Your dog just bit my dog! Do you know aggressive dogs are not allowed in the dog park?

Bill: Seriously? You do not know who you are dealing with!

Owner of Aggressive Dog: I do not give a damn who you are! Your dog bit my dog and I am going to sue you!

Bill: Oh really? It was your dog that attacked Iris. It was your dog who bit Iris first. It was only after your dog bit her that Iris bit back in self defense. I have this cameraman with me to record everything I do so nobody can falsely accuse me. Let me have him run the video back for you.

Bill has the cameraman run the video of the incident at the dog park. When the owner of the aggressive dog sees that it was his dog that was being aggressive, and it was his dog that bit Iris first, and it was Iris who bit his dog in self defense, he backs down and apologizes.

Owner of Aggressive Dog: Wow! I am sorry about that. I did not see what happened and I assumed your dog was the aggressive one. I will leave the dog park so there will be no more incidents. By the way my name is John and you?

Bill: I accept your apology. Thanks for understanding and not escalating the incident. My name is Bill Barnhart. I am a wrestler in Sin City Wrestling and we are having our Climax Control 255 wrestling event this Sunday in Primm, Nevada.

Owner of Aggressive Dog: Oops! Yeah you were right that I had no idea who I was dealing with. I have watched you wrestle but since you are in civilian clothing, and not your wrestling attire, I did not immediately recognize you.

Bill and the owner of the other dog shake hands and part on good terms. Bill sits down on one of the benches in the dog park to continue his comments for this presentation while Bea plays with Iris in the dog park.

IF YOU ARE NOT THE BIG DOG IN THE FIGHT THEN GET OUT OF THE FIGHT

Bill: Where Do I begin with you Alex? You are like many wrestlers before you. You were once popular. You were once winning a majority of your matches. You used to challenge for Championships. But what happened? Did you wake up one morning, look into the mirror, and wonder who the defeated and deflated person was looking back at you? Did you finally come to the realization that you went from being on top of the world to being under the feet of talented wrestlers? Is that when you gave up trying to win wrestling matches Alex? Is that when you decided drawing a paycheck, even in a loss, was more important than fulfilling your dreams and satisfying yourself and the fans? Do the wrestling history books now include your name along with names associated as being paid to be permanent losers to ensure other wrestlers got wins? Have you stooped that low in your wrestling career that taking a paycheck to make other wrestlers look good seems like a good idea? Then again maybe you are the true Philanthropist as you like sacrificing yourself for the benefit of others. You need to understand something Jones. In my eighteen years in wrestling I have never taken a dive in a match for the benefit of another wrestler. I have been asked to take extra money to take a dive and I told the Management of that wrestling Federation not only NO! but HELL NO!!! Yeah I got released from a few wrestling Federations for refusing to play the role of Jobber but at least I left holding my head high because I was proud of my decision not to play the fool.

Bea and Iris run between Bill and the cameraman which causes Bill to pause his comments until they are out of camera range.

Bill: That was an analogy that just ran past the camera Alex. You are like Bea chasing Iris. Even though Iris is a chubby overweight slow-witted English Bulldog there is no way Bea can catch up to her and control her. When we are at home and want to give Iris a bath, which is something she freaks out over, we have to trick her into running into the bathroom to hide from us and then we have her trapped in the bathroom and she has no choice but to get a bath. Even though we are able to divert Iris from diving under the bed in her bedroom to keep us away from grabbing her, hauling her into the bathroom to get a bath, then letting her go again, half the time that is still a better percentage than your wins in the wrestling ring lately.

Iris runs between Bill and the cameraman again chased by Bea. This time Bea manages to cause Iris to run to an area in the dog park where there are obstacles for the dogs to play in, on, and around, and Iris gets stuck between two of the obstacles. Bea grabs Iris, attaches the leash to her dog collar, and she drags Iris to a neutral area of the dog park.

Bill: You are like Iris in the incident you just saw. I will maneuver you where I want you to go during our match. I will keep you so confused that instead of you moving to an area of the ring where you can stay away from, or escape, my assaults you will make the mistake of walking right into them. What is the bottom line for our match Alex? I win our match and you walk away the loser. Oh, come on, you should be used to losing by now as you seem to be so good at it. Har har har!!!

Bill informs the cameraman they are done with comments for their presentation. He then motions for Bea to bring Iris to the gate of the dog park so they can exit and drive back to Primm, Nevada. The cameraman keeps focused on the three until they reach their rental car then he cuts his camera feed so he can load his camera equipment into the car.

END OF PRESENTATION

125

Climax Control Archives / Qualifier

« on: November 12, 2019, 08:55:20 AM »

QUALIFIER

Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen. Boys and girls. People of all ages, colors, nations, tribes, and education levels. We have arrived at Climax Control 253 and Bill Barnhart has been assigned a qualifier match against Caleb Storms with the winner of this match moving on in the tournament to face the Heavyweight Champion at December 2 Dismember IV.

The scene opens in the hotel room of Bill and Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, located in Anaheim, California, near the Anaheim Convention Center where Sin City Wrestling is holding their event Climax Control 253. Both are sitting on the couch where Bill is casually dressed in gray sweat pants and a gray sweatshirt while Bea is dressed in blue jeans and a white button shirt. We notice Iris sniffing around the hotel room, as she always does, trying to sniff out smells from previous pets that stayed in the room. With Iris her world is all about smells. Food smells come first then the smell of other animals. We will not get into the horrific smells that come from Iris after she over-eats and lets go toxic farts.

Bill: Thanks for joining us today. At Climax Control 252 there were three matches in the qualifier round and the winners have been set. In the Ben Jordan versus Stephen Callaway match Ben Jordan came away the winner. In the Mark Cross versus Fenris match it was Fenris with the win. In the third qualifier match of Griffin Hawkins versus Austin James Mercer it was Mercer who walked away with the win That left Lachlan Kane, Caleb Storms, or Alex Jones as my opponent in my qualifier match at Climax Control 253. When they drew names it was Caleb Storms who got selected as my victim, I mean opponent, and this should be a good match. Well, okay, a good match for me anyway as I am going to win.

Bea: Although there are many who are not taking Bill seriously in Sin City Wrestling, and less so in this qualifier match, I assure you Bill is ready to tear through those who make it to the Championship match where he will defeat the Heavyweight Champion for the Championship.

Bill: As most of you know, or should know as I have mentioned it numerous times, I am proficient in wrestling, Karaoke singing, Archery, and even the game of Golf where I actually one-upped Tiger Woods at Sequoia Country Club in Oakland, California. Here is the story of what happened that day. I grew up on Saint Andrews Road in Oakland and Sequoia Country Club was close to our home. I went to play a round of golf and I saw Tiger Woods there. Being a huge Tiger Woods fan I approached him to talk with him. He said he was visiting the Bay Area and he wanted to play Sequoia Country Club as he heard a lot of good things about it. I asked if he would play along with me since I am a big fan of his and Tiger agreed and we went off on a round of golf as a twosome.

Bea: I love this story Bill. Tell the viewers what happened.

Bill: We came to the last hole, which is a 440 yard Par 5, and we were tied. On the last hole, since this was the first time Tiger played this course so he was unfamiliar with it, his tee shot went to the right into the rough while mine went in the middle of the fairway. Tiger managed to get his second shot onto the fairway but still over 150 yards from the green. I hit my second shot on the edge of the green. Tiger hit his third shot and came up a few yards short of the green. My third shot lipped the cup and I ended up less than one foot from the pin. Tiger hit his fourth shot and it landed on the green about 10 feet from the pin. I putted in for a Birdie 4. Tiger putted in for a Par 5. I defeated Tiger Woods by one stroke that day. Anyone feeling they are better than me at the game of golf I dare you to bring it on. But enough of being able to brag that I bested Tiger Woods on my local golf course when I was familiar with the course and it was his first time on the course.

Bea: So, Bill, what does that round of golf with Tiger Woods have to do with Caleb Storms?

Bill: A lot similar with those two. Both are good at the sport they are in. Tiger can be arrogant and brag but he has a reason to do so. Of course he never talks about that round of golf he had with e that day but I understand why he is hesitant to talk about it. Caleb is arrogant but I do not see him having a valid reason to be arrogant. When I threw out an open challenge to those who were in the Roulette Championship Match at Summer XXXTreme VII only Caleb Storms answered the challenge and I commend him for that action. On September 15, 2019, at Climax Control 247, I defeated Caleb Storms. Since that loss he has promised to get revenge for losing to me. After I gave Tiger Woods a loss on the golf course he never tried to get revenge on me. He just moved on and kept doing what he does well which is win golf tournaments. Unfortunately for Caleb Storms his name was drawn to face me in the qualifier so he cannot simply turn around and walk away as that would cause him to take a forfeit loss to me.

Bea: I know Bill. So many wrestlers talk smack and cannot back it up. I feel bad for wrestlers like Caleb Storm who can talk a good game but cannot back it up in the wrestling ring. By the way have you come up with closing comments for our presentation today?

Bill: Since we are in a hotel room I cannot do Archery, play a round of golf, or perform in a wrestling ring, but I can do Karaoke of my version of a popular song that everyone should know unless they have been living under a rock.

Bea: What song?

Bill: I will surprise you and the viewers but I will give the lead-in to my performance by stating that I feel Caleb Storms is a cheap wrestler and getting a win over Storms would be classified as a cheap thrill.

Bill walks over to the Karaoke machine he brought with him. He places a CD into the machine and hits the play button. The introduction to the song starts and we immediately recognize it as Cheap Thrills by Sia.

Bill: Here is my personalized version of Cheap Thrills by Sia which I call I LOVE WRESTLING.

Come on, come on, turn the radio on
It's Friday night and it won't be long
Gotta comb my beard, put my outfit on
It's Friday night and it won't be long 'til I

Hit the wrestling ring
Hit the wrestling ring
I got all I need
No I ain't got cash
I ain't got cash
But I got talent baby

Baby I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight
(I love wrestling!)
Baby I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight
(I love wrestling!)
I don't need no money
As long as I am wrestling
I don't need no money
As long as I keep wrestling

Come on come on, turn the radio on
It's Saturday and it won't be long
Gotta raise my glass, then enter the ring
It's Saturday and it won't be long 'til I

Hit the wrestling ring
Hit the wrestling ring
I got all I need
No I ain't got cash
I ain't got cash
But I got talent baby

Baby I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight
(I love wrestling!)
Baby I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight
(I love wrestling!)
I don't need no money
As long as I am wrestling
I don't need no money
As long as I keep wrestling

(I love wrestling!)
(I love wrestling!)
I don't need no money
As long as I am wrestling
I don't need no money
As long as I keep wrestling
Oh, oh

Baby I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight
(I love wrestling!)
Baby I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight
(I love wrestling!)
I don't need no money
As long as I am wrestling
I don't need no money
As long as I keep wrestling

La, la, la, la, la, la, la
(I love wrestling!)
La, la, la, la, la, la, la
(I love wrestling!)
La, la, la, la, la, la, la
(I love wrestling!)
La, la, la, la, la, la
(I love cheap thrills!)

The music stops and Bill takes a bow. He walks over to the Karaoke machine, removes the CD, then turns the machine off. Bill returns to the couch so he and Bea can officially close this presentation.

Bill: Caleb you talked a good game leading up to our match on September 15, 2019, at Climax Control 247. Seems you did not have much to say after I pinned you for the win though. Now we get to face off in a qualifying match to see who ultimately faces, and defeats, the Heavyweight Champion at December 2 Dismember IV. Once again leading up to our match you bark and howl and pee and poop on the floor like a scared little Chihuahua. You are going up against me, one of the biggest dogs in Sin City Wrestling, and your pathetic little Chihuahua self yips and yaps and tries to make everyone think they are a Pit Bull instead of a Chihuahua. Nice try but you failed again. Everyone knows who and what you truly are. Then when I enter the match where the five of us face Senior Vinnie for the Heavyweight Championship I will win and get revenge on Cactus Pete for insulting Iris recently.

Bea: You mean his comment that Iris has smelly farts and ruined his dinner?

Bill: Yeah. That and his threat to beat down Iris and leave cactus pricks in her butt cheeks.

Bea: Well, Bill, Iris does have smelly farts and she did interrupt the dinner of Cactus Pete. She did antagonize him. And if Pete goes off on her and leaves cactus pricks in her butt cheeks she has nobody to blame but herself.

Bill: You are right as always.

Bea: We wish to thank everyone for tuning in today. See you all at Climax Control 253 in Anaheim!

126

Climax Control Archives / Close

« on: October 31, 2019, 04:40:10 AM »

CLOSE

Graphics of Horseshoes and Hand Grenades comes up on our screen. We are of course wondering why these graphics were chosen.

Narrator: Welcome to another opening narration by me, the Narrator for Bill Barnhart, to introduce you to his upcoming presentation. Bill has a match against Mark Cross at Climax Control 251 in Tucson, Arizona. For those who may not know the Debut match for Barnhart in Sin City Wrestling was against Mark Cross and Mark Cross managed to get the win by pinfall. Bill has not forgotten that loss and he told me he vows to get the win over Mark to prove his win was a fluke. I have said more than I should have as Narrator so I will turn you over to Bill Barnhart at his hotel near the Tucson Arena.

The scene shifts to the Ramada by Wyndham Hotel at 777 Cushing Street which is near the Tucson Center where Sin City Wrestling will be holding Climax Control 251. We see Bill and Bea Barnhart relaxing in the pool at the hotel. Bill is floating around on an inner tube while Bea is floating around on an inflatable pool mattress. Although Iris, their English Bulldog, is not allowed in the regular human pool, the staff at the Ramada set up a large heavy plastic kiddy pool for Iris to play around in which is a good choice since English Bulldogs are not good swimmers. The roving cameraman keeps maneuvering around the side of the pool to keep focused on Bill and Bea Barnhart.

Bill: I know everyone is wondering why I had them put up graphics of Horseshoes and Hand Grenades at the beginning of this presentation. Well I am an honest person, as everyone knows unless they are an idiot, that the saying goes CLOSIES ONLY COUNT IN HORSESHOES AND HAND GRENADES and that applies to two matches I had in Sin City Wrestling. My last match was for the Roulette Championship against Griffin Hawkins. Although both of us had numerous chances to get the win during the match it was Hawkins who got the win and he retained the Roulette Championship. My debut match in Sin City Wrestling, which was on August 4, 2019, was against Mark Cross who is my current opponent. I simply took Cross lightly as he was, at that time, from the Development division in Sin City Underground. Since obtaining that win over me and a few more since then I see he is now on the Roster for Sin City Wrestling. So in those two matches I got close but as the saying goes CLOSIES ONLY COUN TIN HORSESHOES AND HAND GRENADES and we were not playing those games as we were wrestling.

Bea: Mark Cross will find out on November 3, 2019, that he may have won the Fatal Four Way at High Stakes IX but he will lose to Bill Barnhart at Climax Control 251.

Bill: We will present additional comments after we take a break to dry off and change clothing. We will be holding the next segment of this presentation from our hotel room so we will see you all again shortly.

TRUTH

After the break the scene comes on our screen and we see we are in the hotel room where Bill Barnhart, his wife Bea, and their English Bulldog Iris, have dried off and changed from their trip to the pool. The three are sitting on the couch with Bill Barnhart dressed in blue shorts, a black tee shirt, and black athletic shoes and Bea is wearing white shorts, a white tee shirt, and white athletic shoes. Iris, as always, is dressed in her pink diamond-studded doggy collar. Iris is begging Daddy Bill for food but he has to deny her since they are doing a presentation on camera.

Bill: Thanks to everyone who stayed tuned to join us for this segment of our presentation. I am sure Mark Cross is watching so I can address him in my comments. Mark I have no ill feelings about you handing me a defeat in my debut match in Sin City Wrestling. Everyone in the sport of wrestling wins and everyone loses. I actually commend you for your abilities in the wrestling ring. But, young man, that match was back in August which was three months ago. If you think I am the same Bill Barnhart you met in that match on August 4, 2019, you are wrong. I am also not taking you lightly in our upcoming match as I already know what you are capable of in the ring. I am sure I will expect you to brag about your win at High Stakes IX in the Fatal Four Way match. If you do attempt to use that as a tool to try to intimidate me you will fail. Why? Your match was a Fatal Four Way which means the first person to obtain a pinfall or submission is the winner. It was not an elimination match where you had to eliminate the other three wrestlers. There is a huge difference between those two type of matches. In a regular Fatal Four Way where the first person to get a pin or submission a wrestler can lay back and take it easy while the other three beat the crap out of each other then they rush in to take advantage of the damage the other wrestlers inflicted. Well, Mark, from what I saw of your match that is exactly what you did. You took advantage of the damage the other wrestlers inflicted on each other. I guess you can be commended for taking that advantage but I feel that is the way of a coward. I also go full speed ahead and I want to be the wrestler who inflicts the damage on the other wrestler, or wrestlers, in the match so I can legitimately brag about what I accomplished.

Bea: Mark you hear everyone talking about me as the Manager for Bill and what you hear are lies to try to deceive people. They claim I am at ringside to interfere in matches to get Bill a cheap win. Man that burns my butt! Bill does not need to cheat in any match to get a win. Bill would rather play the match strictly within the rules of the match and take a loss than to cheat to win. But I will tell you why me and Iris are at ringside in the corner of Bill. I am there to ensure nobody cheats or interferes on behalf of his opponents. If someone does run in on a match I am there to take appropriate action to eliminate them from the scene to ensure Bill obtains a fair and legal match. Iris is there to take on those people who refuse to leave ringside when I demand them to. If someone wants to get in my face about my demand for them to get the hell away from the ring they will next have to deal with Iris. I assure you I am way easier to deal with than Iris is. We shall see how things go in your match against Bill.

Bill informs the cameraman he will take a quick break to go into the kitchen and get some snacks for them. When Iris hears the word SNACKS she perks up and starts drooling. After a short time Bill returns with a large tray of snacks and drinks which he places on the coffee table. Bill, Bea, Iris, and the cameraman, partake of the snacks and drinks before the presentation continues.

QUESTIONS AND DREAMS

Bill: Mark I have several questions for you. No you do not have to answer these questions as they are rhetorical questions which are asked for effect and your answers would serve no purpose anyway. As a young wrestler from the Development Division of Sin City Underground, who managed to get a win over me in my debut match on August 4, 2019, are you feeling over-confident due to that win and you feel you can do it to me again? Do you think that winning a Fatal Four Way that was not an elimination style of Fatal Four Way makes you something special and that it will allow you to defeat me again? Are you getting a huge ego coming into our match thinking that if you defeat me you should be able to get a shot at the Roulette Championship? If you think any of these things then you are not thinking logically. A win over me on August 4, 2019, was a win but wins and losses happen to everyone. Nothing special happened that evening. Winning a Fatal Four Way that is not an Elimination Fatal Four Way is also not much to brag about since you did not have to eliminate three other wrestlers in that match. And for damn sure if you think you can defeat me at Climax Control 251 and earn a shot at the Roulette Championship that is another drug induced hallucination you are having. Straight up, young man, if those are your dreams be prepared for me to destroy your dreams on November 3, 2019.

Bea: Although I refer to Bill as a DREAM WEAVER I also refer to him as a DESTROYER OF THE DREAMS OF OTHERS. Although the official definition of the term Dream Weaver is that they are a mystical soul and they are capable of doing anything in their own dreams. The definition further states that only people in an eternal dream can be what we call a Dream Weaver. Bill Barnhart lives his eternal dream through his wrestling. He has been wrestling since he was eighteen years of age. He is turning 36 years of age on November 14, 2019, so that puts him at 18 years living his eternal dream of wrestling. Win or lose matches it does not matter as Bill is is living his eternal dream every time he steps into the wrestling ring. Bill is a legend in the sport of wrestling and not many people have obtained the things in the sport he has achieved. Bill is coming into this match to live his eternal dream and by defeating you his dreams become reality and your dreams are destroyed.

Bill: Nicely stated Bea. Before we continue we all need to dig into these snacks and drinks before Iris eats everything and we go hungry.

Iris hears the insult Daddy Bill made at her expense so she looks at him and snorts at him.

Iris: Snort!

Bill: Oh trying to be tough and intimidating Iris? Nice try but that crap does not work on me and you know it. We all get to partake of the snacks until they are gone. There are four of us here so we all get some. I will give you leeway on this one Iris that you can eat more than the rest of us.

Iris realizes Daddy Bill just gave her the green light to eat as much as she wants so she dives on top of the tray of snacks and quickly inhales the majority of the snacks. Iris is proud of herself but as she waddles across the floor she flops over into what we would call a food coma. Iris is on her back, legs sticking up, and tongue hanging out of the side of her mouth. The cameraman asks if Iris is okay and Bill and Bea confirm this is a normal thing for Iris.

Bill: Iris just ate herself into another food coma. She will be okay in a few hours.

Bea: This is why we usually control how much she eats but Bill had to open his mouth and give Iris the go ahead to eat all she wanted to. Ha ha ha!

SPEAKING OF COMAS

Bill picks up the tray from the coffee table and he walks to the Kitchen to put the tray and other items away. He has to step over the unconscious Iris on his way to the Kitchen but he is used to it. After putting items into the sink to wash later Bill returns to the living room and he sits on the couch next to Bea.

Bill: Mark can we talk about comas for a moment? I want to make myself perfectly clear so nobody can claim they did not understand what I said leading into our match. I know what you are about. I have had a match with you already so what you bring to our match is nothing new for me. Yeah we went over your non-elimination Fatal Four Way match at High Stakes IX so no need for me to demean you again over your win in that match. I am here to give you a warning and whether you respect the warning and avoid being an ass is up to you. We have a Standard Rules match at Climax Control 251. If you violate the rules, if you cheat during the match, or if you hire people to interfere in the match, then all bets are off the table and I will take you out to the trash dumpster. If you violate our match rules or cheat I will beat you down so hard you will wish you were in a coma so you would not be feeling the pain of the beating I had to give you. However if you remain within the rules of the match, and even if you were to get lucky enough to get another win over me, I will at least leave the match with a bit of respect for you. But cheat? No respect and I will not be held responsible for the damage I inflict upon you.

Bea: And, Cross, to show you what nice people we are, if you violate the rules, if you cheat during the match, or if you hire interference for the match, and Bill beats you unconscious, we promise to pay all your medical expenses at Northwest Medical Center in Tucson. We have already talked with them about this situation and they will be standing by to make sure you are well taken care of it you decide to turn this match into that type of situation.

Bill: Have a great time leading up to Climax Control 251. For damn sure I am having a great time right now, and leading up to our match, and it will be a double great time when I defeat you at Climax Control 251.

Bea tells the cameraman they are done with their comments for their presentation today. He informs the Network and the Network cuts to regularly scheduled programming for this time slot.

127

Climax Control Archives / Dream Match

« on: September 25, 2019, 07:25:45 PM »

DREAM MATCH

Narrator: When Bill Barnhart was signed to work in Sin City Wrestling he confided to me there are three wrestlers in the Federation he would consider a dream match if he had the chance to wrestle against them. Those three are Griffin Hawkins, Casey Williams, and Fenris. Looks like Bill gets his first dream match as he is facing Fenris at Climax Control 249 on September 29, 2019.

We check in with Bill and Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, as they are getting settled into their room at a hotel near the Andros Beach Club in The Bahamas. When the scene comes on the screen we see Bill and Bea putting items away so they will be settled into their room. Iris is not doing much except sniffing around and begging for food. The cameraman informs them they are live broadcasting so they pause from putting items away to make comments concerning their upcoming match against Fenris.

Bea: Hi and thanks for joining us today. Please overlook the fact that we are in the middle of putting things away in our hotel room as we arrived just a short time ago. I know we are presenting comments for your viewing pleasure but we still have to break occasionally to continue putting items away. We never feel comfortable until everything is in the place where it is supposed to be. You know what I mean. Like Bill Barnhart being where he is supposed to be as Roulette Champion which will happen soon. Also we were hoping there were pet friendly restaurants in Andros but there are none. We always take Iris to a pet friendly restaurant called The Universal Joint on Pike Street in Lawrenceville, Georgia, so we figured there are pet friendly restaurants everywhere. However we did find a solution at one of the restaurants here in Andros where they have a sidewalk dining area. The agreed to allow Iris to join us in the sidewalk dining area, as an exception to their rules, due to us being guests performing in a sporting event for their enjoyment.

Bill: Iris is a lucky and spoiled dog. You heard the Narrator comment that when I came to Sin City Wrestling I have the desire for three dream matches. I will run those down for you. I will start with one that happened back when I worked in Asylum Wrestling Alliance. Then I will mention the one concerning a wrestler I have followed for some time and who I admire. Then I will move on to the third one.

Bill and Bea pause for a minute so both can put more items away. When they are done with this session of putting items away they return to the living room area where they stand in front of the camera to present comments.

DREAM MATCH ONE

Bill: My first dream match would be against Casey Williams. I know he is retired now, and working as Head of Security, but I would love to have this dream match to see if I could even the score with him. The history I have with Casey is I had a Triple Threat Hardcore Rules match inside a Boeing 747 parked at the Oakland Airport, in Oakland, California, against Dmitri and Casey Williams. Although Casey never pinned me or made me submit in the match, as he pinned Dmitri, I still had to take a loss on my record. The short version of what happened is when I was climbing the stairway to the First Class Lounge Dmitri slammed me to the ground and then he continued up the stairway to the First Class Lounge where Casey was located. When Dmitri got to the top of the stairway he kicked the stairway loose then he and Casey fought it out in the First Class Lounge. I regained my senses and stood up and went to go up the stairway but the stairway was gone. When I looked up Casey threw Dmitri down the open hole where the stairway used to be and Dmitri landed on me and knocked me out. Casey dropped down from the First Class Lounge and pinned Dmitri. With that win, even though Casey did not pin me or make me submit, he went into the record books as being the first wrestler to hand me, Bill Barnhart, my first loss in my home town of Oakland, California, and in my home area of the San Francisco Bay Area. I spoke with Casey and he told me does not want to come out of retirement for a match with me so I respect that. But having this match would be a dream match for me.

DREAM MATCH TWO

Bill: My second Dream Match would be against Griffin Hawkins. Who cannot like a wrestler who is a favorite with the fans, a great wrestler in the ring, has held Championships, and loves Rock music? I have followed Griffin Hawkins since he arrived in Sin City Wrestling. I know that he came here strongly hyped and ended up taking some early losses here. But Hawkins never gave up. He never backed down. He continued to do what he does well and that is wrestle. Now he is one of the more successful wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling. Although I am the Number One Contender for the Roulette Championship I have been hearing rumors that maybe, just maybe, Management will have a Teddy Warren versus Griffin Hawkins match at Climax Control 250 which would classify as the rematch for Hawkins who lost the Roulette Championship to Warren. If that match does happen then that means I will either face Teddy Warren, or Griffin Hawkins, or both, at the Super Card, for the Roulette Championship. Damn I am having fun here in Sin City Wrestling!

DREAM MATCH THREE

Bill: I have one other wrestler in Sin City Wrestling that having a match against would be a dream match for me. You want to know who that wrestler is? He is none other than my current opponent for Climax Control 249, the well-known, very popular, and very successful, Fenris! Yes you heard me correctly. Although the name of Fenris is not posted in the Championship history books as many times as other wrestlers the fact remains he is one of the top names here. When the official card for Climax Control 249 was announced I was happy to know that the first of my three dream matches has become a reality.

IT IS BETTER IN THE BAHAMAS

Bill: Fenris there is a saying, that is listed as one of the official taglines of The Bahamas, that goes IT IS BETTER IN THE BAHAMAS. I have to agree with that saying. Not only do I get to fulfill one of my three dream matches in Sin City Wrestling by facing you in this match I also get to fulfill my dream of defeating you. Now, Fenris, you often hear professional sports people, when they go up against their idol in their sport, that they would feel bad if they defeated their idol. I have never had that negative thought in my wrestling career and I damn sure am not having that thought now. Remember the 19 year old female Canadian tennis player, Bianca Andreescu, who just defeated Serena Williams in straight sets in the U.S. Open final? What surprised me is that Bianca apologized for defeating Serena who is classified as the best tennis player in the world, When you just defeated the best in the world you should jump up on a rooftop and crow like a horny Rooster that you just became the best in the world by defeating the best in the world. Never apologize for being awesome. So, Fenris, when I defeat you at Climax Control 249 you will not hear me issue apologies for defeating me but you will hear me crow about my accomplishment. And the fact that my win over you comes while we are performing in the Bahamas proves the saying IT IS BETTER IN THE BAHAMAS!

HOW THINGS MEASURE UP

While Bill was presenting comments Bea took time to continue putting things away. She returns into camera view to stand next to Bill to continue with their comments.

Bea: Sorry I continue running off to get things put away but I want things in place. I am done for a bit so I can continue adding my comments. We have an interesting matchup between Bill and Fenris. Bill comes into this match at six feet four inches and two hundred forty pounds while Fenris comes into this match at six feet one inch and two hundred four pounds. Although having a thirty-six pound weight advantage and three inches of height over Fenris should be an overwhelming advantage I know that Fenris has been in many wrestling matches where his opponents were larger and weighed more and he still came out with the win. Fenris did not obtain the reputation of having only one loss on his record by being incompetent in the ring. Then you take into account their wrestling styles. Bill comes in as a Technical Brawler Submission expert while Fenris comes in at what is called a Strong Submission Striker.

Bill: Thanks for bringing up great points. The other things I see in this match, Fenris, is that you have a great ground game but a non-existent, or weak, aerial assault. Usually in battles, especially Military battles, the side that is ultimately successful is the one that has both a great ground game and a great air assault. Although I occasionally execute aerial maneuvers I usually do it when I know there is a high percentage for successful execution of those maneuvers. Outside of those occasional incidents I also prefer to remain in the ring with a great ground assault. But, Fenris, there is something mentioned on your information sheet that makes me wonder what is really going on. There is a mention that you are so quirky when it comes to performing aerial maneuvers that you prefer to not even attempt a drop kick. What the

I have never heard that comment in an information sheet on a wrestler before. But, Fenris, I will give you credit for your ground game. I will state, on the record, that I feel your ground game is very good to the point that General George Patton and General Erwin Rommel, two of the greatest Generals of World War II in North Africa and Europe, would be jealous of your ground game. But remember something Fenris. Both Patton and Rommel lost a lot of ground battles where they were assigned. However Patton lost less battles than Rommel did. Although both are considered successful in their campaigns in North Africa and Europe it is widely admitted that General Patton was way more successful than Rommel which tells you why the United States won the War and Germany did not. I am General Patton to your General Rommel.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Bea: One of the items on my mind is that both Bill and Fenris are the type of wrestlers who refuse to back down to anyone. I think about which one of them will be able to stand up to their opponent, take the blows, return the blows, and overcome their opponent. Of course I say that wrestler is Bill.

Bill: Fenris with your style of being a Strong Striker and Submission wrestler, and myself with Technical, Brawler, and Submission, we are going to have an epic battle that would have been scheduled as the Main Event it not for the fact that the World Bombshell Championship was on the line on the same card. The way I define Striker is someone who likes to rush in, land blows, then back out. That may work with less talented and less experienced wrestlers but that will not work against me. Also with me being the perfection of submission holds it means when you to try to apply something on me to make me submit most of the time you will fail. Remember that I am a submissions expert and I know the ins and outs of submission holds. I not only know how to apply them to keep an opponent from getting out of them I also know how to counter them or easily get out of them when they are applied on me.

Bea: In most sports, mostly in the game of Golf, there is a term used for players that they are ON THEIR A-GAME which means performing to perfection and of course better than everyone else. In the game of Golf when a player cannot get their A-Game working they will drop to their B-Game or C-Game. What does that mean? If they are having difficulties with their A or B-Games they return to their C-Game which means they go back to the basics. Many Professional Golfers on the PGA Tour have come back from dropping out of contention, to winning the Tournament, by returning to the fundamental basics of their game using their C-Game.

Bill: Fenris I am informing you that I have mastered the basics of wrestling. I have mastered the basics and I am superbly grounded in the maneuvers and holds and especially submission holds, that no matter if I am executing my A-Game or B-Game I am still soundly grounded in the basics of the sport. I believe you are also well-grounded in the basics of wrestling but there is a huge difference between being well-grounded and superbly-grounded in the basics of wrestling as I am. You need to remember that I am the Technical expert in this match. I am the Brawler in this match. I am the Submission expert in this match. Maybe you were able to find ways to get wins over other opponents but I do not believe you have faced someone yet as awesome as I am.

Bea runs out of camera range again to continue putting items away.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bea returns to camera view with a smile on her face.

Bea: Yay! We finally finished, well I did anyway, of putting our things away. No offense Bill but while you were catching all the air time I was getting out things put away.

Bill: I love you too Bea.

The two enjoy a laugh over their comments.

Bea: Fenris we know much information on you. Bill already mentioned he has watched you wrestle and you were on his list for a Dream Match. We have not been able to observe all your matches in Sin City Wrestling so there is something I will be watching for while serving in the corner of Bill as his Manager. We do not know if, in the past, you have cheated in matches, or obtained interference, in order to get wins. We want to believe you are an honest wrestler who does not cheat but we have been disappointed before and I will be watching closely in this match. Should you violate the rules, obtain interference, or use illegal blows, maneuvers, or holds, you can rest assured I will inform the Referee to make sure they watch the action closely. We gladly accept losses in wrestling matches when the opponent gets a clean and legal win but if they cheat for the win then chaos will ensue.

Bill: There are song lyrics from a song titled ANYTHING YOU CAN DO which is from the musical ANNIE GET YOUR GUN. The lyrics go: Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you. Please feel free to look up the song on YouTube, or some other venue, and see it for yourself. I assure you, Fenris, that anything you can do I can do better. I can do anything better than you. That, my friend, is a lesson that I will beat into you at Climax Control 249. Please enjoy your remaining time until our match because after I soundly defeat you in the match you will not be enjoying much after that.

Bea: Thank you for joining us. We are done with our comments for this presentation. We need to take Iris to the one restaurant in Andros that will allow us to bring Iris with us to the outdoor dining area so she can have a meal with us. Please have a great time leading up to Climax Control 249. We will. Bye!

The cameraman calls into the Network to inform them that Bill and Bea Barnhart are done with their presentation. The Network confirms the information and they return to the regularly scheduled programming for this time slot.

128

Climax Control Archives / No Threat Zone

« on: September 11, 2019, 08:27:08 AM »

DO NOT ISSUE THREATS TO BILL BARNHART

Narrator: Bill Barnhart has received many threats during his lifetime. Some involved companies. Some involved people. And some involved wrestlers in the Federations where Bill has worked. I will turn you over to Bill Barnhart to let him tell you those stories of threats issued to him and his family.

The scene shifts and we are taken to the home of Bill and Bea Barnhart. They are in their living room sitting on the couch. Both are dressed in jeans shorts, white pullover shirts, and flips flops. Bill is wearing black ones and Bea is wearing blue ones. Bea is drinking a bottle of peach tea and Bill is drinking his normal drink which is Classic Coke. When when the cameraman tells them they are live broadcasting they launch into their comments.

THREAT ISSUED BY VIVENT SMART HOME COMPANY

Bill: Hi and welcome to this portion of our comments which being presented from our home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. We wanted to return home to present this portion of our comments incidents we will talk about happened concerning our home and our neighborhood. After this portion of our segment has been aired we will fly to Saint Barts at Divi Little Bay Beach which I believe is on the island of Sint Maarten. Anyway wherever the hell it is we will travel there after airing this portion of our segment. I will tell you several stories of people issuing threats to me and Bea. I will start with the incident that happened to me concerning Vivent Smart Home which is a company that sells home security systems and other products to homeowners.

Bea: I take full responsibility for this company contacting Bill. My friend told me they use the products from Vivent Smart Home. They said not only do they have a security monitoring system but they can unlock their doors from inside their car from their cell phone. I called the company and asked them to call and speak to Bill. I should have known he would not be interested and would not be happy with the call since I did not inform him the call was coming. It is my fault for not informing Bill the call was coming so the call caught him by surprise.

Bill: I get the call and I immediately tell the sales representative I am not interested in their products. He demands to know why I am not interested. I told him I do not owe him an explanation as I am the consumer and I make the decisions. Even so I decided to inform this rude sales representative that I do not want an alarm system in my home as they often malfunction and notify the police and fire department. I told him if that happens often the police and fire department will bill you for coming to your home for false alarms. He then asked me why I was not interested in the electronic deadbolt where I could drive up, open an app on my cell phone, and unlock my front door so I can enter without using a key. I told him I do not want stupid stuff like that. I do not want a situation where, if I happened to lose my cell phone, that someone finds it and now has access to my home. Then what if the electronic deadbolt fails to work? If I do not have a key to open it manually then I will not be able to get into my home.

Bea: The sales representative from Vivent assured Bill that you have a key you can use to get into the house just like what you do with your car where you use a remote to electronically open your doors but you can also manually unlock and open the doors of your car with the key. Even with that Bill was not interested.

Bill: I told the guy for the tenth time I am not interested and I told him to never call me again. Do you know what this jerk said to me? He issued a threat by telling me if I do not purchase his Vivent Smart Home security system and other devices that our house will get broken into. Oh man I went off on him at that point! I asked him if he is issuing a threat to break into my home because I refused to purchase his several thousands of dollars of bullshit electronic stuff and security system? He tried to backpedal but I cursed him out then hung up on him. I immediately called their parent company in Utah and told them what their sales representative did in issuing a threat to me. I also filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau explaining the incident. I also called our police department to inform them of the threat. I will never work with the Vivent Smart Home company again due to their sales representative threatening that he will break into our home if we do not purchase his equipment. I filed a formal complaint about this sales representative to his company in addition to filing a Better Business Bureau complaint. Never heard from that bonehead again and our house has not been broken into.

ANGRY SHOPPER

Bill: I was shopping at Kroger and I saw a young woman with three children with her while she was shopping. One of the kids was around four years old, another was around three years old, and the youngest one was in her arms and was maybe a year and a half old. The two older children were running up and down the aisle. She is trying to keep control of the two older children, while holding her youngest in her arms, and she was scanning the shelves and I could see it was hard on her to find what she wanted with the kids distracting her.

Bea: I was not with Bill during this shopping trip but when he came home and told me what happened I was shocked.

Bill: I looked up and politely asked the woman that since she was taking care of three little kids if there was something I could help her find and get off the shelf. She looked at me and screamed DO I LOOK LIKE I NEED HELP? To which I replied I was only trying to be helpful since she was trying to control three little kids. Then she got on her cell phone and called her husband. The part of the conversation I heard was SOME ASSHOLE IS ASKING ME IF I NEED HELP GETTING SOMETHING OFF THE SHELF SINCE I HAVE OUR THREE YOUNG KIDS WITH ME. DO I F*CKING LOOK LIKE I NEED HELP? She then told her husband to come to the Kroger store to confront me. I brushed past the woman and told her to bring her sorry ass husband to the store to get in my face and I will not only have both of you arrested for assault and communicating a threat I will beat you down also. She did not cross my path again during that shopping trip fortunately for her.

BEA ALSO HAD A THREAT THROWN HER WAY

Bea: On this shopping trip I was at Kroger and Bill was not with me. As I was going up and down the aisles I noticed a woman who left her cart blocking the aisle while she was looking around on the shelves to find something. I was unable to get my cart past her cart due to the location of it. I politely asked her if she could please move her cart so I could get by but she ignored me. I politely asked again. Then I politely asked a third time. After the third polite request I had no choice but to move her cart, about one foot to the side, so I could get my cart past her cart in the aisle. The woman spun around and started screaming at me that I have no right to touch her shopping cart. I apologized and told her I asked her politely three times and she did not listen to me and failed move her cart. Next thing I know she calls her husband over and he gets in my face issuing threats of bodily harm even though I explained what happened. Only when I took out my cell phone and called Gwinnett Police Department and reported I was being threatened by two people in Kroger did they leave their carts and run out of the store.

Bill: I told Bea it is a good thing for that husband and wife that I was not there because had I witnesses this abuse of Bea I would have beat the hell out of both of them leaving them in a messy pile on the floor of the aisle. Next thing shoppers at Kroger would have heard over the speakers would have been CLEAN-UP ON AISLE THREE!

WHAT ABOUT THREATS ISSUED BY OTHER WRESTLERS?

Bill: Over my nearly 18 years in the sport of wrestling I experienced threats from other wrestlers. I am not talking about the normal comments they make to an opponent where they tell you they are going to beat you down hard and win the match. I am talking about numerous threats I endured over my wrestling career that go outside the wrestling thing and transition into personal threats. Those are the comments and threats I will not tolerate. As my opponent you can say what you want about the match but when you start with personal threats to me, my wife Bea, and my English Bulldog Iris, that are not related to wrestling, you have crossed the line and will pay dearly for it.

Bea: That is all we will present for this part of our comments. We need to get to Atlanta Airport for our flight to Sint Maarten.

*AFTER A NEARLY FIVE HOUR FLIGHT FROM ATLANTA TO SINT MAARTEN*

COMMENTS TO JAKE RAAB

The scene comes on the screen and we see Bill Barnhart, Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, in their hotel room located near the venue where Climax Control 247 will be held September 15, 2019. Bill and Bea are sitting on chairs at the dining table while Iris sniffs around the hotel room trying to see if she can determine what other animals have stayed there. Bill is dressed in blue jeans, a black pullover shirt, and black athletic shoes. Bea is wearing a light blue dress and matching flat shoes.

Bill: We made it from Atlanta to Sint Maarten and it was around a five hour flight. That is not bad when you consider that a flight from Atlanta to San Francisco or Los Angeles is the same flight time. But I am not here to talk about how long it takes to fly from one location to another. I am here to talk about my upcoming match against Caleb Storms.

Bea: Before you talk to Caleb Storms would you please present the comments you wanted to make to Jake Raab?

Bill: Of course! Jake I have to commend you on your performance at Climax Control 246. I felt we were equal when it came to wrestling abilities and how we manage ourselves in the ring. I commend you that you were able to do something most wrestlers fail to accomplish. You stood with me blow for blow and each time I was able to get you in a position to take you out for the win you managed to figure a way to turn it on me. You also accomplished something most wrestlers cannot. You were able to get me down and in pain enough that I slipped up and you got the pin on me for the win. That was an impressive performance and I am here to publicly thank you for a great match. And later in the year when you perform in the God Of Wrestling Tournament, where you represent Sin City Wrestling, I will be cheering you on and I hope you win the Tournament.

COMMENTS TO CALEB STORMS

Bill: Caleb I wish to start my comments by telling you that of all the wrestlers from the Ultimate X Roulette Championship match from Summer XXXTreme VII you were the only one to step up and accept my challenge. That tells me a lot about you Caleb. It tells me you are confident. It tells me you are sure of your wrestling abilities. It tells me you do not back down from anything. In other words you are just like me in those areas. How come the other wrestlers from that match failed to step up and accept my challenge? Are they not sure of their wrestling abilities? Are they so used to backing down from a challenge that they backed down out of habit? Only they can answer for their action, or inaction, concerning my challenge. The bottom line is you accepted and I admire you for that.

Bea: You might be wondering why I am making more comments recently since I am not officially the Manager for Bill. Soon I will be officially installed as his Manager so I will be at ringside during his matches serving as his Manager. That will take place in a few weeks. Caleb I echo what Bill stated and I, too, admire you for accepting his challenge.

Bill: So, Storms, I always check the statistics to ensure I am fully aware what is going on with my opponents. I see you are 6 feet 2 inches and 220 pounds while I am 6 feet 4 inches and 240 pounds. We are even up and no height or weight advantage is in play as I see it. I am what you call a Technical Brawler Submission wrestler and I see you are officially listed as a High Flyer. Now, Caleb, do not think that I am not aware that you are way more than just a high flyer wrestler. I have seen you in action and I know you are a great all-around wrestler. I know this match is going to come down to who can apply the most pressure to their opponent while deflecting most of what their opponent sends their way. Who will that be? We will have to wait until the final bell rings and the official decision on the match is handed down to know the answer.

Bea: Caleb we do not fault you for not winning the Ultimate X Roulette Championship match at Summer XXXTreme VII. That match is one of the most difficult to win and with so many wrestlers involved in the match often the winner is decided by just an inch or two. You did well in the match but in the end Teddy Warren obtained possession of the Roulette Championship.

Bill: Another thing you did, Storms, that showed what you are made of, is when you came to me and accepted my challenge you did not demand that my Number One Contendership for the Roulette Championship be placed on the line. When you commented that I legitimately won the Number One Contendership and you do not want to step on my toes and demand I put it on the line it was a show of outstanding sportsmanship. It is rare when I run across a wrestler with that character. You earned my respect and I am sure when our match is done we will both retain the respect we have for each other.

Bea: When the official announcement of the match was published it stated it was under Roulette Division Rules. We make the assumption it is like the other Roulette matches where the Roulette Wheel is spun before the match starts and where it lands determines the rules, if any, and other stipulations on the match including how to obtain a win in the match.

Bill: Let me be honest with you Caleb. I do not care where the Roulette Wheel stops and I do not care what rules, or no rules, and what stipulations are assigned to the match, because I have every intention to win our match. If it lands on Hardcore Rules so be it. It is lands on Standard Rules so be it. If it lands on Two Out Of Three Falls to Win so be it. Hell, man, it might even land on a spot that says No Holds Barred, No Time Limit, and to win you not only have to pin your opponent or make them submit, but you have to masturbate a Unicorn and make them spunk out a rainbow and I will still win. I have no intention of hurting my reputation by losing this match to you. I know you are going to bring all you have but I am sorry to inform you that what you bring to the match will not be enough. I will still respect you after I defeat you so for that you should feel honored.

TIME TO TAKE IRIS TO THE DOG PARK

Bea: Bill I need to remind you we promised Iris we would take her to the dog park so she can interact with the other dogs and get some exercise.

Bill: Ha ha ha! Ho ho ho! Har har har!!!

Bea: Excuse me? What do you find so funny?

Bill: You said Iris wants to go to the dog park so she can get some exercise. The most exercise Iris, our chubby overweight lazy English Bulldog, gets is standing up, walking over to her food bowl, over-eating, then collapsing on the floor in a food coma!

Bea: Now that you mentioned it, ha ha ha, you are right about Iris. But we did promise to take her to the dog park so we need to get going.

Bill: To all those who were involved in the Ultimate X Roulette Championship match at Summer XXXTreme VII who failed to step up and accept my challenge like Caleb Storms did you should be ashamed of yourselves. Caleb accepted my challenge and he earned my respect by doing so. I plan on showing the world I rightfully earned a shot at the Roulette Championship and nothing will stand in my way! Come on Iris! Doggy park time!

Bill is about to attach the leash to the doggy collar of Iris but she is so excited to go to the dog park she takes off running to the door of their hotel room. Fortunately the door is closed so she cannot get out of the room and Daddy Bill is able to attach the leash to her collar. Bill opens the door and Iris pulls him out of the door. Bea follows and closes the door behind her and that is when the Network cuts to a commercial break.

129

Climax Control Archives / Gonna Be A Rocky Road For Jake Raab

« on: September 04, 2019, 01:03:46 PM »

ROUGH, ROCKY, AND STEEP ROAD AHEAD

Bill: Let those images of rough, rocky, and steep roads lodge in your head, Jake, because you know you have as much chance of defeating me as a Chihuahua has of defeating a Lion. Try, try, try, as you might you will fail. I have my sights set on the Roulette Championship, and also on Senor Vinnie and the Heavyweight Championship, and both those Championships will soon be mine. Raab if you think I am taking you lightly, and looking past you to future Championship matches, you are wrong. I will not allow my focus to be off in our match even though obtaining The Roulette and Heavyweight Championships are high on my list of things to accomplish. I will take you on. I will defeat you. The fans and the other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling will become believers in Bill Barnhart.

Barnhart exits the ring and returns to standing near the ring steps.

Bill: Now, Jake, I have something else I need to get out off my chest. People have tried to intimidate me by claiming you are an aggressive, hard-hitting, and agile wrestler in the ring. You did not seem hard-hitting, aggressive, or agile when Ty West defeated you recently. Oh, hell, Jake, I have been skirting around how I really feel about having to face you at Climax Control 246. I was hoping I would get a Roulette Championship match but Kedron Williams got it instead. The wrestler I defeated by submission with my Sweet Dreams Sleeper Hold got the shot at the Roulette Championship before me as the Number One Contender. Also I could have faced any number of highly qualified and extremely talented wrestlers but I got you instead. I have heard that you have been in Sin City Wrestling for around a year and yet you are around 50 percent wins in your matches and that equates to around 50 percent losses also. I do not see your name attached to any Sin City Wrestling Championships either. Am I disappointed that I have to face someone so far below me in wrestling ability and accomplishments? Yes. Will I whup you to quickly I might break the Sound Barrier doing so and so quickly you might not even remember stepping into the ring? Yep! Will I show you mercy and give you a chance in the match? Hell no! Jake you are in my way and I am coming into our match to make sure you are moved out of the way and sent far far away. Bye!

Bill waves into the camera then he kisses his hand and slaps it on his butt giving the well-known sign for kiss my butt. The cameraman calls into the Network to notify them that Barnhart is done with his air time. The Network goes into a slow fade out that transitions into a commercial break.

130

Climax Control Archives / Who is Bill Barnhart? What is He About?

« on: August 09, 2019, 10:31:50 AM »

WHO IS BILL BARNHART AND WHAT IS HE ABOUT?

NARRATOR: Since Bill Barnhart is new to Sin City Wrestling, even though he is not new to the sport of wrestling, he wanted to inform you of his history in Asylum Wrestling Alliance and to give you a history of his feud with his half-brother Chris Shipman. I now turn you over to Bill Barnhart who is in the Sports broadcast studio, at WSB TV Channel 2, in Atlanta, Georgia. He is conducting a live interview with WSB TV Sports Anchor, Anthony Amey.

The network switches to a shot of the Sports broadcast studio at WSB TV Channel 2 in Atlanta, Georgia.

Anthony Amey is wearing a dark gray business suit with white shirt and blue tie with white designs in the tie. As the camera pans the broadcast studio we get a shot of Bill Barnhart who is dressed in blue jeans and a black pullover shirt.

ANTHONY: Hi. I am Anthony Amey the Sports Anchor at WSB TV Channel 2 in Atlanta, Georgia. Today I have the pleasure of having Sin City Wrestling superstar wrestler Bill Barnhart, who has the nickname BULLDOG, in my studio. Bill welcome to my studio and thank you for granting me the pleasure of interviewing you.

BILL: The pleasure is mine Anthony.

ANTHONY: You are a fan favorite not only in Atlanta but throughout the State of Georgia. Some people watching may not know how you got the nickname BULLDOG so I would like to ask you to explain that. Also I notice your wife Bea and your English Bulldog Iris are not here with you in the studio.

BILL: Since I have an English Bulldog, Iris, as my mascot, I decided it would be fun to use the nickname BULLDOG so that I can use the initials BBB for Bulldog Bill Barnhart. Also the official mascot for the University of Georgia in Athens, Georgia, is an English Bulldog named Uga. You see the abbreviation for the University of Georgia is UGA so their Bulldog mascot is named Uga. As far as Bea and Iris not being in the studio with me today Bea is a little camera shy and even when I can get her on camera and she comments on stuff she tends to feel uncomfortable. With Iris is it a distraction and stress thing. With all the lights, cameras, and people running the equipment, I am worried Iris would get nervous. When Iris gets nervous or upset she often lets our extremely vile stinky farts. Worst case would be she gets so nervous that she pees or poops and I do not want your broadcast studio soiled by her.

ANTHONY: Does Iris also get stressed and nervous during wrestling events since there are lights, cameras, and people running the equipment?

BILL: That is a different situation. Iris enjoys being at the venues where we wrestle. Since the lights and cameras are a far distance unlike here in your studio Iris is not affected by them. Iris is so into watching Daddy Bill wrestle she does not pay attention to much else.

ANTHONY: I am sorry you lost your debut match against Mark Cross at Climax Control 244. I know you wanted to get a win in your debut match but things do not always work out the way we want. How are you feeling about that match?

BILL: Nobody wins every wrestling match and if they think they can then they will end up being disappointed more than they are happy. Simply put Mark Cross did some great wrestling and he was able to get me into a position for the pin. Also it is not about how many wins you get it is about what you ultimately achieve. Take note in World War II the United States lost the majority of battles in the Pacific against the Japanese. But they won the one battle that won the overall war. What good is it in wrestling to go 10-0-0 then go 10-1-0 with a loss in a Championship match and fail to win a Championship? It means you were successful up to that point, in matches where no Championship was on the line, but when it really counted you failed. It is be better to go 0-10-0 and then get a shot at a Championship and win the ultimate prize and be at 1-10-0 and holding a Championship. Again it is not how many wins you collect it is what you ultimately achieve and obtain.

ANTHONY: Thanks for clearing that up. I see in your debut match in Sin City Wrestling you faced off against Mark Cross. Could you please tell the viewers what happened in that match and the results of the match?

BILL: As I mentioned earlier Mark Cross wrestled well and was able to get me into a position for him to win. I cannot be upset over someone who defeated me legally.

ANTHONY: Your next opponent, at Climax Control 245, is Kedron Williams. Everyone seems to think he is the next big thing for the fans to gawk over because he managed to get a win over Ben Jordan. Can you tell the viewers what you think of Kedron Williams and what you expect to accomplish during your match?

BILL: Before I do that Anthony may I be allowed to give background information on my time in Asylum Wrestling Alliance along with the history I have with my half-brother, Chris Shipman, who was also a wrestler in Asylum Wrestling Alliance? I feel this information is important for people to understand how durable, dependable, tough, and why I outlast anyone in the sport.

ANTHONY: Of course.

BILL: During my eight years in Asylum Wrestling Alliance I held every championship that was available to me. There were other championships active for a time but shortly before I was to be given a match for those championships Management retired those championships and brought out a new one. I obviously was not able to earn a championship that no longer existed. I did, however, obtain Grand Slam status numerous times. I may be a newcomer to Sin City Wrestling but I am a veteran of the wrestling ring from previous Wrestling Federations.

ANTHONY: I know the history between you and your half-brother Chris Shipman. Are you sure you want to relate those things to the viewers? Do you feel they will be able to handle it?

BILL: Whether they are able to handle it or not is their problem. I want everyone to know I hide nothing and that I am transparent with them. I want them, my next opponent, and everyone else in Sin City Wrestling, to know what happened between me and Chris Shipman so they will know where I came from, what happened, what I am about, and where I am going.

ANTHONY: Since I know the history between you and Chris Shipman I would like to ask you questions, that you answer if you want to, so we can keep the conversation on a timeline. Is that okay with you?

BILL: Sure. That way the story gets told from the beginning to where it stands today.

ANTHONY: I understand you and Chris Shipman have the same mother but different fathers. Could you explain that situation?

BILL: Our Mother married Harold Shipman, from England, and he turned out to be one of the most prolific serial killers in the history of serial killers and he is the biological father of Chris Shipman. Once mother found out the truth she divorced Harold and married the man who is the biological father of me and my sister. His name was William Barnhart and he was a Retired United States Navy Chief Petty Officer. Due to mother hating my half-brother Chris, due to the horrible deeds done by his father, Chris hated me. He kept complaining that mother liked me more than she liked him. I tried to get Chris to understand mother liked us the same but he would not accept that. Sorry to say this but, in reality, mother did not treat us the same. I was treated like a god sitting high on my throne whereas Chris was treated by mother as if he was a pile of dog poop.

ANTHONY: That must have made Chris angry. Why did your mother allow Chris to live in the same house with you and your sister when she knew how he was?

BILL: She is our mother and she gave birth to Chris so she gave him a chance to live with us and behave. I mean, come on, it was not his fault his father was a serial murderer.

ANTHONY: Chris Shipman blamed you for the death of your sister but he ended up the one convicted of her murder but was later excused of the crime by the Judge who sentenced him to prison. Even though Chris was cleared of the crime he still blamed you. Do you mind giving details on that part of the story?

BILL: Our sister did die in our home. The story is that me and my sister wanted to play a certain game and she asked Chris to join us in the game. He refused and demanded to play a different game that we did not want to play. When I stood up and told Chris to stop demanding me and our sister play that game he shoved me so hard in the chest all I remember is going unconscious and I do not remember hitting the floor. When I regained consciousness I looked over to see Chris standing over the lifeless body of our sister. He gave me an evil look and hissed at me YOU KILLED OUR SISTER AND I AM GOING TO KILL YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO HER!

ANTHONY: What happened next?

BILL: There was a criminal investigation and the two of us ended up in Court before a Judge. I told the Judge when Chris shoved me in the chest I fell backward and went unconscious before hitting the floor and when I regained consciousness I saw Shipman standing over our dead sister. The Judge decided I did nothing wrong but he sentenced Chris to prison for ten years. Before Chris was led out of the Courtroom he looked at me and said YOU KILLED OUR SISTER AND YOU PINNED HER DEATH ON ME! I WILL NEVER STOP ATTACKING YOU AND HURTING YOU UNTIL I HAVE DESTROYED YOUR WRESTLING CAREER AND HAVE TAKEN YOUR LIFE! I figure the Judge was not happy to hear Chris issue a death threat to me so Chris is fortunate he did not increase his prison time.

ANTHONY: It appears the serial murderer genes got passed on to Chris from his father. But there is good news that came out about a year later. Please explain that to the viewers.

BILL: About a year later I received a package in the mail. When I opened it I saw a VHS tape. There was a note from our babysitter from that time saying the video is from the surveillance camera that was watching us in the living room at the time of our sister died. She said when I watch the video it will clear everything up. I watched the video and I saw when Chris slammed me in the chest I really went unconscious and fell backward. However before I hit the floor I slammed into my sister and she fell to the floor and when her head hit the hardwood floor she died. I later regained consciousness and looked at them to see Chris standing over her body.

ANTHONY: The surveillance video fully cleared you but I think it shows Chris was aggressive and that he was the cause of the death of your sister. What did you do next?

BILL: I contacted the Judge who sentenced Chris and told him I had a video he needed to watch. When the Judge reviewed the video he said I was fully cleared. He said although Shipman acted violently toward me he did not directly cause the death of our sister and the Judge determined her death was an accident. He called to have Shipman released from prison. When Chris arrived at the Courtroom the Judge told him he is cleared of all wrongdoing in the death of our sister and he was free to go. Before Shipman left the Courtroom he again told me he would viciously attack me, beat me, torture me, and try to destroy my wrestling career and kill me, either for the rest of my life or until I am dead. After he told me that he stormed out of the Courtroom.

ANTHONY: So that brings us to both of you being wrestlers in Asylum Wrestling Alliance. I remember you and Chris having some of the most dangerous, vile, dangerous, and demonic, matches ever known to the sport of wrestling. Could you go over that for us?

BILL: I ask the viewers to think of the most violent, evil, disgusting, twisted, and life-threatening matches you have seen in the sport of wrestling. I assure you those matches were tame in comparison to the twisted, demented, and evil, matches me and Chris Shipman had against each other in Asylum Wrestling Alliance. We had matches that would have killed other wrestlers. We had matches that should have ended my career or my life but I overcame in those matches. The key fact here is that I am still here active in the sport of wrestling and Chris Shipman is nowhere to be found. In the end I guess Shipman gave up trying to kill me as he suddenly disappeared from Asylum Wrestling Alliance and I never heard from him again.

ANTHONY: Do you think he retired from wrestling?

BILL: I do not care if he just retired or he died. The world is a better place without that vile excuse for a human being in it. All I know is Chris Shipman vowed to destroy my wrestling career, and to take my life, but I am still here and still active in wrestling and Chris is not. I am sure there is a special place in Hell for Chris Shipman.

ANTHONY: You said your reason for relating your experience with your half-brother Chris Shipman, both in your personal life and wrestling career, was to send a message to the other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling is that correct?

BILL: Without mentioning names, as mentioning names of other wrestlers makes them feel they mean something in the sport, I will use general terms. Most wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling think they are the best, the greatest, and the favorite of the fans. They feel they are rough and tough and can defeat everyone. I have news for these wimpy, soft, slow, and ignorant punks in Sin City Wrestling. I endured years of abuse, threats, attacks, beat downs, threats on my wife Bea and my English Bulldog Iris, and had some of the most brutal matches ever in the history of wrestling, to the point that some of those matches have been banned by every wrestling federation on the planet. I mention again that I am still here and Chris Shipman, the man who attacked, abused, and threatened me, is gone and has never been heard of again. With all that I endured, and overcame, what the hell makes you wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling think you can take me out?

ANTHONY: Does that apply to Kedron Williams, who is your your opponent for Climax Control 245, also?

BILL: Sure it applies to Kedron Williams. Out of all the wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling there are probably two or three who are not over-blown, arrogant, wannabe superstars, but the rest of them need to be taught to be humble and I am the wrestler to humble them.

ANTHONY: Are you claiming Kedron Williams is an over-blown, arrogant, wannabe just because he managed to get a win over Ben Jordan?

BILL: Yeah that is exactly what I am implying.

ANTHONY: How can you say that about Kedron? He defeated Ben Jordan so that should count for something.

BILL: That counts for nothing! Even a blind Rat finds cheese by accident once in awhile. Kedron Williams has been in Sin City Wrestling for five months and although he has defeated a few wrestlers he has yet to hold a Championship. That goes back to my earlier comments about having several wins and then you go after a Championship and fail to win. Better to take several losses then win the Championship match. And you want to know something else Anthony?

ANTHONY: Sure.

BILL: I do not give a *bleep* if Kedron Williams just came off a handicap match against Godzilla and King Kong and defeated them. The fact remains that my half-brother Chris Shipman and I had the most vile, brutal, demonic matches ever in the history of the sport of wrestling and I still came out ahead. As bad as King Kong and Godzilla were they are only one-forth as bad, mean, evil, and demonic, as my half-brother Chris Shipman was. If anyone, including Kedron Williams, thinks I am afraid of them then they are not thinking as I do not fear anything or anyone.

ANTHONY: I do not mean to take your attention to another subject but I wanted to ask a question about Iris your English Bulldog.

BILL: Seriously? I am on a roll telling people what I am about, and why I fear nothing, and you want to ask a question concerning Iris? I guess answering your question for a few minutes will not hurt anything. What do you want to know about Iris?

ANTHONY: College football season is upon us and the big team in our area is the University of Georgia, also known as UGA, located in Athens, Georgia. Everyone knows the mascot for the University of Georgia is Uga the English Bulldog. I have heard Iris has a crush on Uga the Bulldog and I am wondering if you are planning on arranging a date for her with him?

BILL: What? You interrupted my presentation about wrestling to ask if I plan on arranging a date for Iris with Uga the English Bulldog from the University of Georgia? No I am not going to help Iris get a date with Uga. First off all Iris is fixed so she does not have the sexual urges unfixed dogs have. Second is that Uga the English Bulldog Mascot is prohibited from interactions with other dogs while he is on official duty as Mascot during the College Football Season. Can we return to taking about me and my upcoming match against Kedron Williams?

ANTHONY: Sorry Bill. That question on Iris was stuck in my head but it is no longer stuck as it came out. Okay so now you face Kedron Williams who, it appears, has only his win over Ben Jordan, as an accomplishment worth mentioning. Your thoughts?

BILL: How in the hell does someone work for five months in a wrestling federation and they have yet to hold a championship? I have researched all the Champions, current and former, in Sin City Wrestling, and many obtained their first Championship in less than three months. Five months and no Championship yet screams out PERMANENT LOW-CARD WRESTLER in my opinion.

ANTHONY: But Kedron Williams is facing you at Climax Control 245 so that means they must feel he is a worthy opponent for you.

BILL: And yet still he is in a low-card match. I am not a low-card wrestler but since I am assigned to wrestle against a low-card wrestler that is the only reason I am in a low-card match. These low-card weak wrestlers are just happy to get a match so that they can get a few minutes in the spotlight by sucking off my talent and popularity. I am not here for lame wrestlers to bask in my shine.

ANTHONY: How do you see you two matching up physically?

BILL: I am six feet four inches and two hundred forty pounds while Kedron is five feet eleven inches and one hundred seventy-nine pounds. He is giving up five inches in height and 61 pounds of weight to me. With that height and weight advantage it will be easy for me to muscle Harris around the ring and wear him down with my weight pressing on him. When you consider when I lean my weight on Kedron, and the weight advantage I have is equivalent of one-third of his entire weight, you see he does not stand a chance against me.

ANTHONY: Would you comment on the list of holds, maneuvers, moves, etc., listed on the information sheet of Kedron Williams?

BILL: Not much to comment on except that there are a lot of high-risk, high-flying, low-percentage, desperation moves on his list. The problem with is they are often ineffective, result in misses, often results in injury to the person attempting them, and they carry a success rate of 50 percent or less. For a wrestler like me, who is talented, has great ring presence, and flawlessly executes moves, holds, and maneuvers, that carry success rates of 80 percent and higher, it becomes extremely amusing to watch my opponent self-destruct during the match. Then again by the looks of Kedron Williams I would say he self-destructed a long time ago.

ANTHONY: How would you sum up this match in a one-liner?

BILL: An easy and decisive win for me and an easy and decisive loss for Kedron Williams.

ANTHONY: We have several minutes of air time remaining. I will turn that air time over to you for any final comments you want to make.

BILL: Ah, Kedron, I get several minutes to tell you how lame you are and how awesome I am. That is a fun thing for me to do. In my eyes you are a geek, a skinny short geek, who is trying to impress people with the way they look, dress, and act. Here is a revelation for you Williams. Being short, a short geek, who looks odd, dresses odd, and acts odd, does not win wrestling matches over exceptionally talented and efficient wrestlers like me. Yes, Kedron, you can stand there and talk about how many big wrestlers that once in awhile some smaller wrestlers were able to defeat but you know damn well that happens ten percent of the time. In the other ninety percent the larger, and more experienced, wrestler wins. I will take the ninety percent success rate and put it up against your ten percent success rate. I will not only call your Raise I will Raise you back double and you either fold your hand or get severely beaten in your loss to me. I do not need to have a Poker face when I hold all the Aces and Trump cards. I know you are thinking you might get lucky because you think I am over-confident and careless. Think whatever you want to think because I am not over-confident but I am confident as I have a long and successful wrestling career and that does not change against you just because you had one lucky match where you got a win you should not have gotten. I will even make you an offer. If you get hurt during our match, I mean when you get hurt during our match, I will offer to pay all your medical bills since I was the one who hurt you during the match. Now, Kedron, where else but with me can you find a complete package as a wrestler, an all-around exceptional wrestler, an intelligent wrestler with a genius I.Q., and a good natured guy who will offer to pay medical bills for the damage he inflicts upon you? No, Kedron, do not turn around and look at the other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling because I am not referring to them. Continue to look at me because I am the subject of my comments. Please enjoy your freedom and good health leading up to our match at Climax Control 245 because I assure you after our match you will not feel free or healthy. Have a nice day Williams. I will.

ANTHONY: Thanks for granting me this interview with you. I know our viewers in the Atlanta Metro area enjoyed it. Remember any time you are back in the Atlanta Metro area give me a call and we can get on the air again.

BILL: Thanks Anthony.

The Network puts the camera in the Sports Broadcast Studio into a fade out. Once the shot fades to black the Network cuts to regularly scheduled programming on WSB TV Channel 2 in Atlanta.

131

Climax Control Archives / Bill Barnhart's Debut in Sin City Wrestling

« on: July 31, 2019, 03:46:39 PM »

BILL BARNHART’S DEBUT IN SIN CITY WRESTLING

NARRATOR: Hi I am the Narrator Bill Barnhart hired to give you lead in information for his comments in his segments. You don’t need to know my name as I will be known as simply Narrator. Since Bill is going to debut in his first match in Sin City Wrestling I will turn the air time over to him and his family at their home in Lawrenceville, Georgia.

The scene opens with a shot of Bill Barnhart, Bea Barnhart, sitting on the couch in their living room, and their English Bulldog Iris, who is sitting on the floor, at their home in Lawrenceville Georgia. The cameraman informs them they are live broadcasting so Bill opens with comments.

BILL BARNHART: Welcome to our home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. Recently I signed on to work in Sin City Wrestling. Now that I am active on the roster I have been assigned to debut in a wrestling match against Mark Cross at Climax Control 244 on August 4, 2019, at the Pico Rivera Sports Arena in Pico Rivera, California. Before I go into comments on the match I would like to introduce my family to you. First I wish to introduce my lovely wife Bea.

BILL BARNHART: Ha ha ha ha ha!!! Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho!!! Har har har har har!!! Oh, Bea, please tell me that is a joke!

BEA BARNHART: I don’t know if it is or now but she said she believes this happened concerning your opponent.

BILL BARNHART: Mark Cross did you actually get in front of a camera, in front of fans, and in front of other wrestlers, and make the claim that you will quickly, easily, and soundly defeat me? Seriously? I doubt you are capable of beating off while watching a porn movie so for damn sure you are not going to beat me at anything. Then again I guess there is one thing you are capable of beating me at and that would be you can beat me at how short a time you are involved in our wresting match before you lose the match. Hell, man, I may even defeat you before the sound of the Timekeeper’s bell stops ringing. I might break the Sound Barrier by how quickly I defeat you! So, Mark, please enjoy the rest of your time leading up to our match at Climax Control 244. Enjoy this pre-match time while you can because you will not enjoy even one second of pleasure during our match.

BEA BARNHART: Thanks for joining us in our home for this presentation. See you all in Pico Rivera on August 4, 2019 at Climax Control 244.

The cameraman calls into the Network to inform them that Bill and Bea are done with their comments for today. The Network tells the cameraman to stay focused on them until the scene transitions to regularly scheduled programming. The cameraman complies with the instructions from the Network and after a few moments the Network switches to regularly scheduled programming.

132

Climax Control Archives / You're Joshing Me Right?

« on: December 11, 2017, 08:14:33 AM »

Narrator: Who would have thought that Casey Williams was involved with London Underground concerning the assault on Pinky del Ferrando several weeks ago? And then you remember that James indicated that they would arrive at the arena for Climax Control 199 in a short time and with three of them, James, Dmitri, and Pinky, it wasnâ€™t likely someone would attack them as a group. Talk about not seeing the signs and the writing on the wall eh? The three were distracted by London Underground which allowed Casey Williams to come out and lay some hurt on them. James took a vicious kick to the face by Casey Williams so Iâ€™m sure there might be some payback coming soon.

We switch backstage at the Gold Coast Casino where â€œStonerâ€ Scott Oliver is holding an interview with James Tuscini and Pinky del Ferrando.

Scott: Thanks for joining me for this interview. I know you two just came off a vicious beat down perpetrated by Casey Williams on behalf of London Underground so the fans would like to know what you two are thinking.

James: Iâ€™m thinking London Underground are cowards since they had to hire Casey to do their heavy lifting for them. If Unholy Alliance gets a shot at the World Tag Team Championship weâ€™ll be the ones doing the heavy lifting by lifting those heavy World Tag Team Championship Title Belts off Daniel Morgan and Osbourne.

Pinky: When Casey Williams came out and started talking smack to us while attacking us it reminded me that I did remember hearing a voice, during the attack several weeks ago, that sounded familiar but I couldnâ€™t place it. Now it came back to me that it was Casey Williams.

James: Sorry to sound like an ass Scott but weâ€™re not here to talk about cowards like Casey Williams and London Underground. I have a match against Josh Woodrum coming up and Iâ€™d like to comment on that match.

Scott: Although Josh Woodrum hasnâ€™t been stellar in his performance during the time heâ€™s been in Sin City Wrestling thereâ€™s no denying that during his time in Asylum Wrestling Alliance he obtained multiple Grand Slam status and he was one of their most successful wrestlers.

James: The key word in your statement is WAS one of their most successful wrestlers. Iâ€™m friends with Bill Barnhart, who worked in Asylum Wrestling Alliance with Woodrum, and he told me when Josh was at the top of his game he was one of the wrestlers everyone wanted to defeat to make a name for themselves. Barnhart also told me that around 2015 Woodrumâ€™s performance started to decline and nobody knew what was going on with him. Yes he did accomplish in a few years in Asylum Wrestling Alliance that other wrestlers rarely accomplish in their entire careers. However, thereâ€™s a huge difference between WAS and IS Scott.

Pinky: Let me jump in with two comments and then Iâ€™ll lay back and let James finish the interview. I know Casey Williams worked with Dying Breed and we see that Dying Breed has come out of retirement to face High Velocity, the team Unholy Alliance easily defeated recently, so weâ€™re rooting for High Velocity. And if Williams makes an appearance during the match of Dying Breed we may pay him back for his attack on us at Climax Control 199.

Scott: Violence doesnâ€™t resolve violence Pinky.

Pinky: In this case it will.

Scott: And your second comment?

Pinky: I dunno. I forgot. Oh well I know it had something to do with Josh Woodrum but Iâ€™m done with my comments for this interview. Take it away James.

James: I havenâ€™t had the pleasure of facing off against Josh Woodrum yet. Iâ€™ve talked with Bill Barnhart and he told me he had around a dozen matches with Josh and not all matches were easy as Josh can be a tough character to take on and defeat. Iâ€™m looking forward to this match Josh. Iâ€™m looking forward to finding out if you have what it takes to take on, and defeat, me as a two-time Roulette and two-time Internet Champion. Although I plan on retiring from Wrestling after Sin City Wrestling retires from business operations I have every intention of continuing to perform at the highest level until retirement. Thereâ€™s no dog tricks such as ROLL OVER AND PLAY DEAD on my moves and holds list. Iâ€™m an operate at all-out, full speed ahead, take no prisoners, type of wrestler and my intention is to win every match Iâ€™m assigned to until the day I retire from wrestling. I mean business Josh. And if YOU donâ€™t mean business in this business then get the hell out of this business. Thanks Scott. Iâ€™m done with my comments.

Scott: Seriously? Thatâ€™s all you have to say?

James: Yes, Scott, I said all I need to say about Josh Woodrum. The rest of my talking will be done in the ring using my superior wrestling talents. Thanks for the interview but this interview is over.

Scott Oliver is left speechless by this unusually short interview by James Tuscini and Pinky del Ferrando. The two turn and walk away from Scott Oliver and Scott has no choice but to notify the Network that the interview ran short and the Network switches to a commercial break.

133

Climax Control Archives / High Velocity? Yeah...Right

« on: December 01, 2017, 07:11:05 PM »

Narrator: What does High Velocity mean? The normal definition is something that moves at a high rate of speed. Bullets fired from a gun immediately come to mind. But how in the world did two wrestlers, who are trained by Horace Jackson, end up with High Velocity as the name of their Tag Team? About the only thing theyâ€™ll be running into at a high rate of speed will be the fists of James Tuscini and Dmitri, also known as Unholy Alliance Tag Team. When you talk about an easy match for Unholy Alliance the word squash comes to mind. No Iâ€™m not referring to a Squash that you cook for a meal. Iâ€™m talking a squash similar to stomping cockroaches with your boots.

WHO BEAT UP PINKY DEL FERRANDO RECENTLY?

We join James Tuscini and his Uncle-Manager Pinky del Ferrando at the Event Center Arena in San Jose, California. The two are taking a leisurely stroll around the arena going down the hallway from their dressing room until they come to an intersection where the flip a coin to determine which direction to go next. Heads and they turn right. Tails and they turn left. As they stop at the intersection Pinky pulls out a Quarter and flips it high into the air while James watches the coin flip. The Quarter hits the carpet and comes up Heads so the two turn right and start off down that hallway with the mobile cameraman following them airing their comments.

James: So tell me, Uncle, have you figured out who attacked you and beat you up the other day?

Pinky: James weâ€™ve been over this dozens of times. I remember pulling that trick as the fake Mafia guy on London Underground and they didnâ€™t quite see the same level of humor in my gag as I did. But when I got attacked I never saw who attacked me. I didnâ€™t hear them coming up behind me. I didnâ€™t hear any voices. All I remember is feeling some blows and I passed out. The next thing I remember is crawling down the hallway toward our dressing room and you and Dmitri found me and cleaned me up. I honestly donâ€™t know who attacked me but Iâ€™m with your line of thought that I also find it hard to believe London Underground directly did the attack. Iâ€™m not saying that they were not behind the attack, or had something to do with those who attacked me, but they just donâ€™t seem like the type of people who would personally do something like that.

James: You know the saying goes that desperate people resort to desperate means. With London Underground not having to face tough Tag Teams lately maybe the thought of having to face Unholy Alliance pushed them over the edge and they attacked you. Maybe they thought if they got to you it would adversely affect me and Dmitri so we wouldnâ€™t be able to function well in a match against them.

Pinky: If anyone associated with London Underground shows up to interfere in your match against High Velocity this weekend theyâ€™ll have to go through me first. This time Iâ€™ll see them coming and cut them down before they can get close to the ring.

James: Actually if anyone associated with anyone other than me and Dmitri rush to the ring you take them out. We reached another intersection in the hallways. Let me have that Quarter as it is my turn to flip the coin.

Pinky hands the Quarter to James who flips it into the air. When the coin lands on the hallway carpet it flops around until Tails is showing which means they turn to the left this time. James picks up the Quarter and places it into his pocket as Pinky complains about the move.

Pinky: Hey! Thatâ€™s my Quarter! Give it back!

James: Possession is nine-tenths of the law Uncle. When it is your turn to flip the coin again and you have possession of the Quarter then you have majority rights to it.

James and Pinky turn to the left and head off down the hallway.

HIGH VELOCITY TAG TEAM? IS THIS A JOKE?

James: Unlike you Uncle the person of Horace Jackson is a failure. He failed with numerous wrestlers so now he feels if he tries again with Terry Coleman and Bradley King that heâ€™ll finally get a hit. I got news for Horace and Terrance and Bradley. The only thing that will be hit in our match is them when we punch them out.

Pinky and James arrive at another intersection. James decides to flip the Quarter again and this irritates his Uncle as James just told him the next flip of the coin belonged to him. James ignores Pinkyâ€™s complaints and flips the coin and it lands on Tails so they turn left again and head off down the hallway.

Pinky: Although the High Velocity Tag Team is so low on the food chain that Plankton eat others at that level Iâ€™m sure when Unholy Alliance so easily demolish them that Management will finally get the message that you and Dmitri are still a viable Tag Team and they will give you a shot at London Underground. Whether or not they make it a Championship match is up to them. Most likely they would send you two against them in a non-title match to see what happens. Then when you defeat London Underground they have to give you the shot at the Championship.

James:However it comes down is fine with me Uncle. I know after losing the Internet Championship that I have to go to the bottom of the ladder and climb my way back into contention. I donâ€™t have any problem with that as I never want to be handed a shot at a Championship that I didnâ€™t earn.

James and Pinky arrive at the next intersection of the hallways. James pulls out the Quarter he snagged from Pinky and hands it to his Uncle to flip it this time. Pinky flips the coin and it lands on Tails so they turn left again.

James: What do you think of the moves of High Velocity? One of them is called Gas Shortage. I mean, come on, why would anyone call a finisher Gas Shortage. Sounds like you just ran out of gas short of your destination. Maybe thatâ€™s what Terry and Bradley are trying to subliminally tell everyone that they are going to come up short in the match.

Pinky: Could be.

James: Their other finisher is called Fueled By Fans. Now thatâ€™s really amusing when you consider that in order to be fueled by the support of the fans you need to have support from the fans in the first place. Not likely that High Velocity will ever obtain the level of fan support Unholy Alliance has, and the level of fan support myself and Dmitri have as Singles wrestlers. I guess Terry and Bradley can dream of being successful but dreams donâ€™t always come true.

The duo arrive at another hallway intersection. Pinky pulls out his Quarter and hands it to James to flip. Once again the Quarter lands with Tails up which means they turn left again.

James: Uncle Iâ€™m sorry to ask you this again but are you absolutely, positively, unsure who attacked you and beat you down the other day?

Pinky: Yes Iâ€™m positive I donâ€™t know who attacked me. I just donâ€™t want you and Dmitri to rush to attack London Underground until you have absolute proof they were involved.

James: Although I do tend to get fired up when family members are attacked I also tend to cool off quickly and attempt to reason things out. I canâ€™t speak for Dmitri though. Heâ€™s so doggone sure London Underground did the attack Iâ€™m concerned he might lash out before we have the proof we need.

Due to James and Pinkyâ€™s flips of the coin where they did a right turn, then left turn, then left turn, then left turn, then a left turn, this brought them down the same hallway they started from with the only difference is they are going down the hallway in the opposite direction. This causes them to walk to the front of their dressing room which is where this walkabout started. James again places Uncle Pinkyâ€™s Quarter into his pocket.

Pinky: Oh no you donâ€™t! Not again! Thatâ€™s MY Quarter!

James: I already told you about possession being nine-tenths of the law so donâ€™t try that argument with me. Besides with the flips of the coin that we did we have returned to our dressing room so we are done walking around for today. Maybe you might get your Quarter back tomorrow.

Pinky grumbles toward James before realizing heâ€™s not getting his Quarter back today.

IF HIGH VELOCITY THINKS THEY ARE A GREAT TAG TEAM THEY ARE FOR SURE HIGH BUT THEIR VELOCITY IS SLOW

James: Well well well, Terry and Bradley, you have drawn the unfortunate bad luck of the draw and you have to face me and Dmitri as Unholy Alliance at Climax Control 198. Not a great way to start out in Tag Team wrestling to have to face one of the toughest Tag Teams ever to bless a wrestling ring. But, guys, donâ€™t take your loss to us personally. This isnâ€™t personal. This is business. And we mean business when it comes to wrestling.

Pinky: To Horace Jackson, and to anyone associated with those who attacked me and beat me up recently, if you try to get involved in this match youâ€™ll end up getting involved with me and that will get you involved with a trip to the Intensive Care Unit. Come on James. Letâ€™s get inside our dressing room and relax for a bit. Canâ€™t wait for Climax Control 198.

James: Me too!

Pinky and James enter their dressing room and they inform the cameraman that he no longer needs to follow them around since they are closing their door and desiring privacy from this point on. The cameraman acknowledges their desires and just as their dressing room door closes he cuts his camera feed.

UNEXPECTED ASSOCIATIONS

Uncle Pinky can be seen in a dark secluded room, there are some candles burning on either side of him on the table that he sits in front off. Smoke is flowing from the flames as his eyes are fixated upon that what is happening in front of him. The shot slowly widens out as we see Dmitri sitting in front of him, he is wearing a buttoned down long-sleeved blouse and a black gilet with a matching black tie. Staring down at some pictures while talking on the phone with a language that nobody can understand as it is probably Russian.

Uncle Pinky: (whisper) D.. Dmitri??

His eyes pierce through the vague light of the candles as he leans backwards into the leather chair that he is sitting in. He clearly had heard Uncle Pinky, but refuses to react as he continues to listen to the person on the other side of the phone

Dmitri: Da??

Uncle Pinky wants to say something as he believes that Dmitri reacted to him, but is quickly silenced as he sees the shaking head of Dmitri as he is saying NO. Leaning backwards as Uncle Pinky tries to look around the dark room, swallowing out loud, wondering where his nephew James is as he is nowhere to be found. He turns back towards Dmitri, who he notices is looking like a mafia figure of the seventies.

Dmitri: Da.

Dmitri puts down his phone as he walks over towards another room before returning with some more pictures. He looks at them while holding them in his hands, making Uncle Pinky curious what is going on. He is about to say something as Dmitri sits down and places the pictures in front of him. Looking down upon them before staring towards Uncle Pinky.

Dmitri: Uncle Pinky?

Uncle Pinky: What??!!!

Pinky reacts in a shocked way as he was playing with his hat that he was holding in his hands as he was starting to get nervous. Sweat is pouring from his face as Dmitri grabs a picture.

Dmitri: Look at this picture, does this look familiar??

Dmitri hands Uncle Pinky a picture of a tough looking character with a baseball bat in his hand.

Uncle Pinky: James Bond?

Isnâ€™t he a fictional character???

This causes Dmitri to bash his hand on the table being in complete rage, startling Uncle Pinky who backs off even more.

Dmitri: First of all, this is Daniel Craig, who plays James Bond. It is mentality like that Uncle Pinky that gets you ambushed in the first place. This man works for His Majestyâ€™s services. There is no bigger enemy to the British throne than a mere Italian Mafia guy.

Uncle Pinky Butâ€¦.

More importantly you are the weak link to the organization and therefore the most important link as well!! Donâ€™t you see what is going on???

Uncle Pinky is about to say something as Dmitri cuts him off.

Dmitri: Of course you donâ€™t!!! Itâ€™s what makes you a human being. Oh how could I have been so blinded?? I should have stayed of the red that night. It was merely a appetizer for better things later that night as Gothika had planned a romantic night for two vampires.

Uncle Pinky: Butâ€¦

Dmitri: You should have seen her face, I had to explain that I had to stay here with James to baby sit you while you were out cold!! She was wearing the silk black dress that does not and will not hide anything to the imagination Pinky. Itâ€™s quite clear to me that you are a selfish man!!

Dmitri unties his tie as he gets out of his chair and walks into the next room while constantly rambling on about what happened afterwards later that night. Causing Pinky to sit there wondering what is going on, not quite understanding why these people have got anything to do with the attack when suddenly

Dmitri: And to think I had a nice romantic evening planned afterwards, we had found some humans that were willing to be hunted down by us Pinky. Human preyâ€™s, her very first!! And you ruined it!!

Uncle Pinky Iâ€™m soâ€¦.

Dmitri: Tell that to her!!!

With that the shot fades as the two men are arguing amongst each other over who is to be blamed.

A NEW TEAM

Dmitri can be seen drinking a glass of red as he is wearing the same outfit he wore earlier on while interrogating Uncle Pinky. He stares at the camera as he is clearly not amused over recent happenings.

Dmitri: London Underground, you are surely a poor excuse of sore losers. Assaulting an old man, that is if you are of course the ones that actually did it and are willing to admit that you are cowards. But still the fact that an old retired and delirious old fool received the blunt of the assault is wrong isnâ€™t it?? But is that the way how you wish to present yourselves as the strong teams of the world tag team division?? I expected more from fools that came from a city that has more backstreet alleys than Liz Taylor had ex husbands. And yet the world is obviously so wrong isnâ€™t it??? wrong to the point where the lies of it all is so clear and right before our watchful eyes. Too bad that the fish and chips coming from your mouths has made us endure the horrible memories of why England always was better off on an island.

And why is that?? Because the world never was ready for the bullshit that came out of the empire that wished to add itâ€™s neighbor countries to a world power that would soon tried to convince you that they ruled the waves. How foolish to think that after all these centuries of enduring the left side of the road, the double deck busses and the Johns that stink of pure distain that you still think you belong. How foolish to realize that after a few more days, that will ultimately be put to the test by the Unholy Allianceâ€¦ that is of course whether you will be able to stay out of our hands.

Dmitri snaps his head sideways, causing his neck to be heard. His intensity is still visible on his face as he has a look of pure anger.

Dmitri: I wouldnâ€™t cared if you ran off, if you hit in the Metro station beneath the city. I do not care whether you wish to hide amongst the rats, the like of a kind that I would not even care of ripping my teeth into your flesh and drink off the piss and vinegar that is the substitution of your own blood. Oh no, you are just a mere example that needs to be taken care ofâ€¦, just like the two men that will be facing the returning Unholy Allianceâ€¦.. how quaint isnâ€™t it??

The team of High Velocity, the team of Terrance Coleman and Bradley King. A team trained by Horace Jackson, a loser that was trained by Ben Jordan. A loser that tagged around with another loser called TNA. Two men that want to make a name for themselves, two men that have an entrance song that is called â€œBelieveâ€. You got to believe in yourselves donâ€™t you boys?? Because a belief in your own ability, your own mindset and your own tactical ability to figure your opponent out is all what you need isnâ€™t it?? All you need is to put these hands together and believeâ€¦ BELIEVEâ€¦ BELIEVE!!!

Is that what Horace wants you two to believe in?? In the believe that one day you could be where London Underground is at?? To believe whether your existence is solely put down to please the fans or your own bank account. Because no other reasons are valid in a world like this are there?? Only to realize that when you stare across the ring that the belief shouldnâ€™t stop thereâ€¦ a believe is where it should creep across the line where your safe haven ends and the existence of destruction begins. Because I do not need to believeâ€¦, I only need to KNOW. The same could be asked about James Tuscini, two names that has done so much.. and yet so little is left for us to uphold our own believes in.

He shakes his head and sighs.

Dmitri: You are just like cowards are, to hand out everything to the outside world what you feel that is enough to know. What do you got to hide boys?? Is mystery in the modern day era of Social Media the way to go?? To be mysterious? To be an unidentified boring character? That is not capable to be detected by the most modern day radar and keep yourself to a mere advantage?

Just like whomever it was that beat down Uncle Pinky, I do not care. What I do care is that redemption is upon us my friends. I hope that the social outcasts of being a mystery team like yourselves will give me the thumbs up for the like, retweet everything that I say in 280 characters so that we can move on to more important things. Like the beating of your own existence, to hoist you up in the air and drop you like the bad habits that I am starting to take out. To be a key into the lives of many, while the few only survive. Those who matter boys, those who matter as life is just building inside of me. You see, the Unholy Alliance is the alliance of humans and vampires. A bond that never should have happened in the fashion that you people wished it would have never happened. While cheering on Gothika as she teams up with Raynin and all the little girls cheer and the menâ€™s hormones runs wild. Whatâ€™s it called again?? Oh yeas, hypocritical isnâ€™t it?? Like I said earlierâ€¦, like I care.

You see Coleman and King, I will acknowledge your names once more as I have done earlier on with respect. Because thatâ€™s merely the essence of your existence. You are just a bunch of names, something that Horace never could have achieved and will forever ask himself the question What if?? What IF Horace had successfully made something out of his career?? Oh and donâ€™t come up with lame excuses of middle class federations, where they pay you fifty bucks in the romantic notion that you need to suffer before making it to the big leagues. No, he was and forever will be someone that will play second fiddle to another. Just like the two of you will play second fiddle to the team that we wish to break down. London Underground.

Just donâ€™t get your hopes up high enough, hoping that we would look past the two of you and your Richard Simmons type of cheerleader that may accompany you wherever you go backstage or at whatever hotel room. Because itâ€™s quite simple, we are the very best team that has yet to have held the tag team gold. Oh yeah, Iâ€™ve said itâ€¦ just before you could try to glee yourselves into a position of talking down upon usâ€¦ I already beat you to it. And itâ€™s the very same way that we will beat you down in the middle of the ring until the bell has rung. Where we will look down upon you, where it should have been London Underground instead of you. So if you got to thank someone for that what will happen to you, thank the champs. I doubt they will grand you a title match for the efforts gone to smokes. But who knows, perhaps they will turn out to be a secret humanitarian faction that just feel bad for those who believeâ€¦.

Believe all you want, believe in that what should never been yours to begin with. Believe, but in the endâ€¦ it will be lights out and the results will be clearâ€¦ You were just a team that stood in our way to get what we wantâ€¦. Until thenâ€¦. Good night and sleep tightâ€¦.

With that Dmitri walks off as the shot slowly fades.

134

Climax Control Archives / Quit Clowning Around

« on: November 15, 2017, 05:07:39 PM »

JAMES TUSCINI HAS GONE FROM FACING A GREAT WRESTLER TO AN INSANE PSYCHOTIC CLOWN

Narrator: Wrestling can be interesting. One day you are standing at the bottom of the ladder of success looking up at the Champions. The next thing you know you are at the top of that ladder facing one of the Champions. Then one day you are the Champion watching others climb up the ladder of success to face you. Then that day comes when you face an opponent who defeats you and then you end up at the bottom of the ladder of success again looking up knowing you have to earn your way back to the top if you want to be successful and noticed again. This is what happened to James Tuscini recently. He faced Griffin Hawkins and Hawkins defeated him for the Internet Championship. Now James is at the bottom of the ladder looking up again knowing he must earn his way back into contention for a Championship. At Climax Control 196 James is facing one of the most whacked out wrestlers on the Sin City Wrestling Roster in Anthrax. This could be the stepping stone James needs to walk over to start his climb back up the ladder of success or it could end up in a career-ending injury or at least an injury that might put James Tuscini out of wrestling action for some time.

We switch to an unknown location where James Tuscini is ready to present comments on his upcoming match against Anthrax. James is casually dressed in blue jeans, a black pullover shirt, and black athletic shoes. We donâ€™t see Pink del Ferrando around so we assume he is either in another room or he is not present for the airing of comments today.

James: Thank you for joining me today. Iâ€™m at an undisclosed location because some of Uncle Pinkyâ€™s so-called Mafia Friends in the area are acting irresponsible and I told Pinky that I donâ€™t wish to be around them when Iâ€™m airing comments for a match. Iâ€™m not concerned that they might do something to injure me by accident as they wouldnâ€™t do that. I just donâ€™t want their constant chattering to distract me from what I have to say. Iâ€™ll again congratulate Griffin Hawkins on his victory over me at High Stakes VII and wish him a long run as Internet Champion, for sure longer than the two runs I had as Internet Champion, and Iâ€™ll be watching Griffin to see how he does especially against Dmitri at Climax Control 196. But Iâ€™m not here to talk about Griffin Hawkins. Iâ€™m here to discuss my upcoming match at Climax Control 196 against Anthrax. When I compare what I faced against Griffin Hawkins to now having to face Anthrax I see that I went from facing a truly talented wrestler to this opening match at this event facing a whacked out, insane, psychotic, clown. I understand that often when a Champion loses a Title Belt that they have to start back at the bottom but usually it is at the bottom of the ladder of success and not the bottom of the barrel.

James stops talking so he can pull out a bottle of water and take a drink.

James: What I know from watching Anthrax is that he can execute several wrestling maneuvers and holds if he wants to. I also know from watching him that he prefers to bend, stretch, and outright violate the rules and even spray a poison mist in the eyes of opponents and, as we saw recently, into the eyes of others outside of wrestling matches. I havenâ€™t a clue who our Referee will be but I hope the Referee is one of those who constantly pays attention to the match and who will quickly disqualify someone for violating those rules. I donâ€™t want a moron Referee who doesnâ€™t see anything, and who doesnâ€™t take action against the offending wrestler, because Iâ€™m on my way to climb back up the ladder of success and I sure donâ€™t need an insane wrestler like Anthrax injuring me which could keep me down at the bottom of the ladder for a longer period of time.

James Tuscini stops talking when he hears a noise. Thinking that Uncle Pinky and his Mafia friends might have found out his location so they came over for a visit James gets up to investigate. Finding all the doors and windows closed and locked he figures it is just building noise so he returns to his comments for his upcoming match.

James: Well, Anthrax, soon we will meet in the wrestling ring. I want to wrestle and you want to go berserk and inflict damage on me. As I previously mentioned I hope we have a Referee who will keep you fully within the rules of our match. If, somehow, you manage to go off the rules without the Referee taking action, then our match may devolve into something rather nasty. If you violate the rules, including having your stable mates interfere in the match, you will have to deal with Uncle Pinky and most likely Dmitri will show up to break up the fight. Deep down I believe you possess enough wrestling ability to actually be successful in the sport of wrestling. I believe you could be something special, and someone who is successful, if you would stop flying off the handle and getting yourself disqualified. Recently you nearly got fired so consider yourself fortunate you got another chance to perform in a match at Climax Control 196. Your future in the sport of wrestling is entirely in your hands. Choose wisely.

James again stops to take a drink of water before continuing with his comments.

James: I look at it like this Anthrax. We can do this fairly within the rules or we can take this match to places never before seen in a wrestling ring. I will promise you that if you violate the rules, and if I feel the Referee isnâ€™t taking appropriate action, then you will see a side of me you havenâ€™t seen yet. Who knows that our match may end up with a double disqualification due to both of us beating the crap out of each other while the Referee loses control of the match.

James downs the last of his water and he tosses the empty container into the trash can.

James: Iâ€™ve said all I need to say to Anthrax. I will close with a comment to Griffin Hawkins though. When Management feels they want to send me up against you, due to the fact that I have a re-match contract for the Internet Championship, Iâ€™ll accept that challenge. Until that match takes place please enjoy wearing the Internet Championship Title Belt.

James informs the cameraman heâ€™s done with his comments for today. The cameraman cuts his feed and the Network cuts to a commercial break.

135

Climax Control Archives / James Tuscini - Two Time Internet Champion

« on: October 10, 2017, 07:25:18 PM »

RECAP OF JAMES TUSCINI VERSUS RYAN KEYS MATCH FOR THE INTERNET CHAMPIONSHIP

Narrator: Oh my goodness! The Internet Championship match between Ryan Keys and James Tuscini was awesome to say the least. James won the match and regained the Internet Championship to become a two-time Internet Champion. However after the show was over word was traveling around backstage that due to the brutal maneuvers and holds placed on Ryan Keys he suffered an injury that is likely to take him out of action for a time. Iâ€™m not sure how much truth there is to those comments as I havenâ€™t been able to verify it yet. As I was watching the match I couldnâ€™t see that Tuscini did anything deliberately to injure Keys so it appears it must have been just â€œone of those thingsâ€ that is an occupational hazard in the sport of wrestling. Unfortunately, for James Tuscini anyway, the fans overwhelmingly support Ryan Keys over him so that isnâ€™t faring well with the fans.

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

James Tuscini, and his Uncle-Manager Pinky del Ferrando, are holding a fan-greeting session at the Sydney Opera House where Sin City Wrestling will be holding Climax Control 194. We notice James is wearing casual clothing consisting of blue jeans, a black pullover shirt, and black athletic shoes. Pinky is wearing a casual gray suit with a white shirt and a matching gray tie and heâ€™s wearing black dress shoes. The fans in attendance are anxious to hear what the two have to say even though they donâ€™t like James Tuscini.

James: Hi! My name is James Tuscini and Iâ€™m your two-time Sin City Wrestling Internet Champion!

The fans in attendance, mostly huge supporters of Ryan Keys, immediately start yelling things at James and Pinky.

Fans: YOU SUCK! YOU INJURED RYAN KEYS! YOUâ€™RE EVIL!

James jumps in to counter their comments.

James: Whoa! Wait a minute! Let me explain! I didnâ€™t do anything during the match to deliberately injure Ryan Keys. If youâ€™ve paid attention to both our time in Sin City Wrestling you know Iâ€™ve always had positive and supportive comments for Keys. Watch a re-run of the match and youâ€™ll see I was fully within the rules of the match. I didnâ€™t violate any rules. I didnâ€™t do anything that was illegal or underhanded. I honestly had no idea of any injury until after the match when word was running around in the backstage area. Donâ€™t blame me for something I didnâ€™t do. Also remember there hasnâ€™t been any official verification of the information concerning Ryan Keys.

The fans start to chant and they get so loud that James and Pinky cannot even hear themselves think.

Fans: YOU SUCK! WE WANT RYAN KEYS! YOU SUCK! WE WANT RYAN KEYS! YOU SUCK! WE WANT RYAN KEYS!

This loud chanting goes on for some time and finally James Tuscini and Pinky del Ferrando decide if they cannot talk and be heard then they will leave. We watch as the two turn and walk off the stage and disappear behind the stage. However that doesnâ€™t stop the fans from continuing to chant.

Fans: YOU SUCK! WE WANT RYAN KEYS! YOU SUCK! WE WANT RYAN KEYS! YOU SUCK! WE WANT RYAN KEYS!

WHATâ€™S NEXT?

Since James and Pinky were being rudely insulted by Ryan Keys fans they decided to make their way back to their dressing room to present the remainder of their comments for Climax Control 194. The two are sitting at the dining room table in their dressing room and both are sipping beers from bottles and we notice there are numerous other bottles of beer on the table.

James: Hi! Iâ€™m James Tuscini and Iâ€™m your current Internet Champion, and a two-time Internet Champion, so deal with it as thatâ€™s fact you cannot deny.. Everyone doubted me after I lost the Internet Championship to Ryan Keys. Griffin Hawkins doubted me but he stopped doubting when I kicked his ass in the Briefcase Ladder Match to officially regain the Number One Contendership for the Internet Championship that I already owned. Ryan Keys stopped doubting when I kicked his ass and took back the Internet Championship from him. Now as we walk into Climax Control 194 all you doubters will stop doubting when Unholy Alliance steps into the ring and destroys Calvin Harris and Griffin Hawkins.

James looks over at Pinky who is sitting there with a grin on his face but he has been very quiet.

James: You sure are quiet for being the loud mouth in our family. Whatâ€™s up Uncle? Cat got your tongue? Or maybe youâ€™re missing Missy the Sheep? B-a-a-a-a-a! Har har har!

Pinky: *bleep* off James! I want to make several things clear so thereâ€™s absolutely no misunderstanding by anyone. Iâ€™ll be at ringside for the Main Event pitting James and Dmitri against Calvin Harris and Griffin Hawkins. I know since Hawkins and Harris have nothing in common, and they mix as well as oil and water, that theyâ€™ll probably resort to illegal stuff to the point of totally violating the rules and trying to inflict serious damage on Dmitri and James. Iâ€™m sitting here before you to let you two know that if you two do that then I have the right, as the Manager of James Tuscini, and the Corner Man for Unholy Alliance, to do whatever it requires to take you two out. Donâ€™t be fools and cross over that line because if you do it will be a decision you will regret for the rest of your lives.

James: I donâ€™t usually see Uncle Pinky this pissed off. Sure glad Iâ€™m on his side. Guess you two have a decision to make. We can do this match the easy way or the hard way. If you want to go the hard way then so be it. If you get injured by myself, Dmitri, or Pinky, then crawl back to your dressing rooms, take a look in the mirror, and realize the persons staring back as you are the reason you got your asses handed to you at Climax Control 194.

Pinky: Let me get one other comment in before you continue. I treat Dmitri just as I treat my family, my flesh and blood, James Tuscini. Dmitri is not just a wrestler I work with. Heâ€™s like having another Nephew to look after. In our full-blooded Sicilian Italian culture if you cross one of our family members then you end up dealing with all our family members. Please, Calvin and Griffin, Iâ€™ve given you fair warning, so donâ€™t do something stupid that youâ€™ll regret into eternity.

James: Iâ€™d like to address our two victims, I mean opponents, for Climax Control 194. First I want to tell you, Calvin, the level of disadvantage youâ€™re in. I remember a match once where I was forced to team with Steve Ramone as a Tag Team partner. At that time I was feuding big time with Ramone for the Roulette Championship. I had just defeated Steve Ramone to earn the Roulette Championship in an Electrified Steel Cage match on May 1, 2016, at Climax Control 146. Then two weeks later, on May 15, 2016, Management assigned Steve Ramone to be my Tag Team partner to take on Lord Raab and Samuel McPherson known as The Monstimals. Ramone had no intention of supporting me as his Tag Team partner so when that stupid jerk punk ass left the ring during the match, grabbed the Roulette Championship Title Belt that belonged to me, and tried to run off into the crowd, I taught him a lesson that you donâ€™t cross me. I left the ring, dragged Ramone back to the ring, took back my Roulette Championship Title Belt, and then left Ramone in the ring to get the shit kicked out of him by Lord Raab and Samuel McPherson. Steve Ramone crossed me once and I crossed him twice. So what does my comments on being forced to team with Steve Ramone have to do you with teaming with Griffin Hawkins? Everything! Youâ€™re one arrogant asshole and unfortunately arrogance is one of those things that caused you to lose the World Championship to Dmitri. Regardless of how much smack you talk it will always remain in your mind that your arrogance cost you the Championship. Now you have to be teamed with Griffin Hawkins who is a wrestler you know little about. Sucks to have a Tag Team partner who doesnâ€™t like you, doesnâ€™t care to support you, and who hasnâ€™t fared well in the wrestling ring especially against me. And, by the way, I would like to remind you of a very important date that is forever written into the Wrestling history books. The date was August 20, 2017. The event was Climax Control 189. The event was a wrestling match between me and you. Do you remember what happened Calvin? You lost to me by pinfall. Never forget that okay? I mean, come on, how can you forget losing legally to me by pinfall when you told me I was the most worthless excuse of an Internet Champion?

Pinky: You both saw what happened right? Hawkins managed to get one win over Ryan Keys and then he got a big ego and demanded to face Keys for the Internet Championship. He said he was more qualified than James Tuscini to challenge Ryan Keys even though James held, at that time, a 5-1 record over keys. By the way, for those of you who failed Math in school, with the win James got over Ryan Keys at Climax Control 193, he is now 6-1 over Ryan Keys. What Griffin got instead of a match to challenge Ryan Keys for the Internet Championship was a match with James Tuscini, a Briefcase Ladder Match, and James won the match, faced Ryan Keys, and he is now a two-time Internet Champion. Chew on those facts punks.

James: Now I get to talk to you Griffin. You, just like Calvin Harris, got a big head, you got over-confident, your ego swelled, and you came into the Briefcase Ladder Match against me and left as the loser. Now you again talk smack now that Iâ€™m Internet Champion again. Weâ€™ll have that Internet Championship match at High Stakes VII but first you have to survive this match against me and Dmitri. What does this mean for you Hawkins? It means youâ€™re teamed with someone who hates you and would rather see you dead than as his Tag Team partner. On my side of the ring you have me and Dmitri who have been teamed as Unholy Alliance for a long time. We support each other. We are like brothers. We are like family. We know our way around the ring. When our partner is in the ring during a Tag Team match we know what they are thinking and we know when they should be tagged out and they know when the one outside should be tagged in. Trust me, Griffin, that Calvin Harris isnâ€™t teamed with you in this Tag Team match to support you or help you. His only goal in this match is to try to destroy Dmitri, or at least inflict severe damage on him, so that when High Stakes VII comes around he might actually have a slim chance of defeating Dmitri and retaining the World Heavyweight Championship. As for us? You already know how well I can do in the ring. Remember our Briefcase Ladder Match? Well, damn, how can you forget that match? The loser of matches usually retain their bad experience due to the loss longer than us winners retain our good experience winning the match. Just be prepared for anything because the instant you two go off the rules and turn the match violent the gates of Hell will open up and fire and brimstone will be upon you. Hereâ€™s a hint for you two. You do NOT want that to happen. Anything else you wish to add to our comments Uncle?

Pinky: Nah! Iâ€™ve said what needed to be said.

FINAL THOUGHTS

James: Let me add this final thought for the benefit of Calvin Harris and Griffin Hawkins. You two mix like oil and water, and get along as well as cats and dogs, while me and Dmitri are so close we are like one. What we could literally do in this match is to hop in and out of the ring and not have to use any wrestling holds or maneuvers on you two. I mean, come on, we could just stand there and watch you two beat the beejeebers out of each other, as you hate each other that much, and then when youâ€™re done beating each other down we hop into the ring and get the pinfall or submission win. Now that would be one hell of an amusing way for our match to go. So while you two are despising each other and fighting each other me and Dmitri are very close. I wonâ€™t call the relationship between me and Dmitri so close that it is as deep and binding as his love affair with Gothika, but Iâ€™ll tell you that our hearts beat as one when it comes to wrestling. You two cannot overcome us even if you sold your souls to Satan.

James and Pinky pick up their beers and click the bottles together in a toast to their upcoming win at Climax Control 194.

136

Climax Control Archives / Pinky and the Boots

« on: October 03, 2017, 08:08:58 PM »

JAMES IS RIGHTFULLY NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FOR THE INTERNET CHAMPIONSHIP

Narrator: Oh my gawd! That Briefcase Ladder Match was one hell of a brutal match. And even though Iâ€™m a James Tuscini fan I have to admit when he won the match by obtaining the Briefcase hanging over the ring to retain his Number One Contendership for the Internet Championship I was shocked! Now James is required to have only one weekâ€™s rest before facing Ryan Keys for the Internet Championship at Climax Control 193 on Sunday, October 8, 2017.

PINKY AND THE BOOTS

Weâ€™ve all heard of the cartoon characters Pinky and the Brain. Today we focus on Pinky and the Boots. Instead of trying to explain that one to you we turn you over to James and Pinky who are visiting a Sheep ranch in Brisbane, Australia. Both James and Pinky are dressed in blue jeans, work boots, and a simple pullover shirt.

James: Why did you bring me to this Sheep farm? Whatâ€™s going on here? Weâ€™ve been in Brisbane for several days and I havenâ€™t see you around the Brisbane Powerhouse and our dressing room except in the evenings. Now you drag me out to this Sheep farm? Damn it smell nasty out here. Whatâ€™s that smell anyway?

Pinky: Sheep eat and Sheep poop just as we humans do. It is the basic concept of â€œfood in...food outâ€ you should know that.

James: Why did you bring me here?

Pinky: Calm down James. Youâ€™ll find out shortly. Just have a seat in this chair and Iâ€™ll be back in a little bit to tell you whatâ€™s been going on.

James Tuscini takes a seat as Pinky del Ferrando walks away and disappears into one of the barns. The look on Jamesâ€™ face screams out that he wants to be anywhere else but here on this Sheep farm. After a short time Pinky del Ferrando reappears and this time heâ€™s wearing wader boots and heâ€™s leading a Sheep in a leash.

James is obviously dumbfounded on whatâ€™s going on with his Uncle Pinky. While James is calculating things Pinky begins to talk to the Sheep sort of in baby talk saying nice things to the Sheep.

Pinky: James this is Missy the Sheep. Sheâ€™s very special. Missy this is my Nephew James.

Missy: B-a-a-a-a-a!

Pinky: Ahem! James? Arenâ€™t you going to greet Missy?

James: No! I will not greet a Sheep!

Pinky: Iâ€™m sorry Missy that my Nephew is being anti-social butthead. Oh well. Arenâ€™t you just the cutest Sheep? You really are a sweetie. I know sometimes youâ€™re confused and you donâ€™t understand what weâ€™re doing so you just need to understand that we love you and thatâ€™s why we do so much nice things for you.

James nearly loses it when he sees Pinky kneels down, wrap his arms around the Sheepâ€™s neck, and he gives the Sheep a kiss.

Pinky: You know what? Youâ€™re so pretty and I love you very much and thatâ€™s why I do things for you. Now I have to get you behind these bushes so that I can get down to business.

As Pinky is leading the sheep into the bushes James loses his mind and he jumps up and confronts his Uncle and he demands to know whatâ€™s going on as he is starting to think his Uncle Pinky is sexually abusing the Sheep on the farm.

James: Whoa! Stop right there Uncle! You better fess up and tell me whatâ€™s going on between you and this Sheep! Since weâ€™ve arrived in Brisbane youâ€™ve slipped away from me and spend all day here on the Sheep farm? Then you come home late at night. Now youâ€™re sweet talking a Sheep while wearing wader boots?

Pinky: Yeah? So? Whatâ€™s the problem with that?

James: The problem is that Iâ€™ve heard stories of situations like this. A man will have sex with a Sheep by placing the back legs of the Sheep into the wader boots so the Sheep canâ€™t get away from him while heâ€™s doing disgusting things to it. Please tell me it hasnâ€™t come to this with you Uncle. Please!

Pinky del Ferrando starts laughing so hard that he falls to the ground. He finally regains control of himself and stops laughing.

James: What the hell is so damn funny? My entire world is crashing down on me and youâ€™re laughing? Why?

Pinky: Iâ€™m laughing at you James because youâ€™re a stupid person who hasnâ€™t a clue what theyâ€™re talking about. When we came to Brisbane I looked up an old friend of mine who owns this Sheep farm. He told me since I might be bored hanging around our dressing room in the Brisbane Powerhouse that he would offer me a chance to work on his Sheep farm. Thatâ€™s where Iâ€™ve been during the daytime and I have to make sure the Sheep are safe at night before I return to our dressing room. Why in hell didnâ€™t you ask me?

James: In all my lifetime youâ€™ve never told me you had a friend in Australia who owns a Sheep farm. How would I know to ask about that when I never knew that information? But the wader boots? Sweet talking the Sheep? Kissing the Sheep? Hugging the Sheep? Then youâ€™re leading them behind those bushes? How do you explain all of that?

Pinky: My friend explained to me that Sheep can be obnoxious and stubborn. He said they respond better to sweet talk and petting and even a kiss on the head once in awhile. I wear these boots because my friend has a hell of a lot of Sheep on his farm and these Sheep eat constantly which means they shit constantly. I have to wear these wader boots to make sure I donâ€™t ruin my shoes and my pants. As far as bringing the Sheep behind the bushes thatâ€™s because thatâ€™s where we tie them up so they wonâ€™t get in our way while we are cleaning their barns of shit. Stop being a perverted jerk James and get into reality for a change. James you are a B-a-a-a-a-a-d boy! Har har har!

James realizes he made a terrible mistake and the look of regret on his face is obvious.

James: Iâ€™m so sorry about this Uncle. It is rather amusing what happened though. Iâ€™m familiar with the cartoon characters Pinky and the Brain so now I can call you Pinky and the Boots. Har har har!

Pinky: That was so damn funny I forgot to laugh! Now please return to the Brisbane Powerhouse and let me work for my friend.

James turns and walks away from Pinky. He steps into the waiting Taxi and the Taxi drives off leaving Pinky del Ferrando to tend Sheep for his friend.

BACK AT BRISBANE POWERHOUSE

James has returned to his dressing room where heâ€™s relaxing, alone of course since his Uncle Pinky is spending a lot of time at his friendâ€™s Sheep ranch. James sets a tray of cold cuts and cheese on the coffee table, along with several cans of Classic Coke, then he takes a seat in a chair next to the couch. We can still see some of the scars and bruises that James took at the hands of Griffin Hawkins during his Briefcase Ladder Match at Climax Control 192. He looks up and into the camera with a stern look.

James: Hi Ryan! Bet you didnâ€™t expect to see me sitting here as the Number One Contender for the Internet Championship eh? Letâ€™s run the facts down shall we? You defeated me recently to obtain the Internet Championship from me. But then you faced Griffin Hawkins and he handed you your ass on a silver platter by making you submit in the match. Although Hawkins knew that Iâ€™m 5-1 against you he thought his one little win over you gave him the right to demand the Number One Contendership for the Internet Championship. His demands were heard and Management laughed in Griffinâ€™s face when they told him he has to face me in a Briefcase Ladder match and he had to defeat me in order to become Number One Contender to face you for the Internet Championship. But what happened Ryan? What the *bleep* happened? I won the Briefcase Ladder Match even though I should have never been forced to â€œearnâ€ something I already had because I held the re-match contract for the Internet Championship. But since Management had me assigned to that match I did what I had to do to earn back what is rightfully mine.

James stops talking for a moment to create a sandwich consisting of rye bread, hard salami, and cheese, with a bit of mayo on the bread. He places the sandwich on a plate, picks up a can of Classic Coke and a napkin, and he sits back in the chair to continue his comments.

James: So what are the numbers Ryan? Iâ€™m 5-1 against you and youâ€™re 1-5 against me. Youâ€™re 0-1 against Griffin Hawkins and Iâ€™m 1-0 against him. I defeated the man who defeated you Ryan. Did you hear me? I defeated the man who defeated you Ryan! I know you heard me that time.

James takes a few bites of his salami and cheese sandwich and he downs it with some Classic Coke before wiping his mouth with a napkin.

James: I know what youâ€™re thinking Ryan. You think because I took a few cuts and bruises during my Briefcase Ladder Match that Iâ€™m not at 100 percent for our match this Sunday evening. You think that Iâ€™m hurt so badly that I cannot take many blows from you before the pain will be too much for me to endure. I will remind you of something Keys. Iâ€™m not a thin-skinned, weak-kneed, pretty boy like you are Ryan. Iâ€™m not like you that when you chip a fingernail you have to cry and run to the beauty parlor to have a manicure. Iâ€™m not like you that when someone farts you take offense and have to run to the shower to get the cooties off your body. Ryan Iâ€™m a full-blooded Sicilian Italian. What that means is I have generations of Sicilian blood pulsing through my body. When we Sicilians get cut we heal quickly. When we get a bruise we ignore it and keep going. If you think a few cuts and bruises are going to stop me from regaining the Internet Championship then you damn sure arenâ€™t thinking at all. Your win over me last month was a fluke and it was honestly my fault that you won because I allowed myself to have a moment of distraction that you took advantage of. In our match this Sunday evening there will be no distractions on my part. There will be no pain from my Briefcase Ladder Match with Griffin Hawkins remaining. I have thick skin Ryan. I heal quickly Ryan. Iâ€™m a rough and tough masculine man and I donâ€™t get freaked out when someone punches me in the face like you do. You have the desire and the need to protect your pretty fact where I donâ€™t have that need. The only need I have is to kick your sorry ass and prove to the world that Iâ€™m the rightful owner of the Sin City Wrestling Internet Championship.

Tuscini finishes off his sandwich, downs the remainder of his Classic Coke, and then he pops the top on another can of Classic Coke, downs a bit of it, then places the can on the coffee table.

James: I know youâ€™re hungry, Ryan, so hereâ€™s some food for thought for you. The only person I blame for me losing the Internet Championship to you is myself. I let myself get distracted, even though it was just for an instant, but that instant was enough for you to take advantage of me for the win. Think hard on this Keys. If you had the wrestling ability to defeat me then please explain to me and the fans why you went 0-5 against me. Apparently those five times you didnâ€™t have what it takes to defeat me. So, Ryan, you know damn well that on September 3, 2017, at Violent Conduct IV, that you again entered a match with me and still didnâ€™t possess the necessary skills to get the job done against me. It was my error and my momentary distraction that allowed you to get over on me. Remember that as you walk into our match and remember that when I walk out of our match as the Internet Championship.

James finishes off the can of Classic Coke he previously placed on the coffee table and when heâ€™s done with it he tosses the empty can across the room where is lands in the trash can with a swish shot never touching the sides of the trash can.

James: Woo hoo! A three-point swish shot for the win. Yeah thatâ€™s how my win over you this Sunday is gonna be Ryan. It will be as nicely executed as a long three-point swish shot in the game of Basketball. Okay, Keys, letâ€™s move on to the next thing you are trying to convince yourself is truth and fact. Youâ€™re trying to make yourself believe that you have the advantage as Iâ€™m still recovering from the cuts and bruises I took in the Briefcase Ladder match against Griffin Hawkins at Climax Control 192. Sorry to burst your I WISH THIS WERE TRUE bubble but I have to burst that bubble to bring you to understand reality. Do you remember recently I discussed how I grew up in San Francisco on the border with the Chinese and White districts and that Whites and Chinese would attack me at every turn. They were suck chickens that they usually came at me with two or more people to beat down on this one poor Sicilian Italian. What did I also tell everyone when I told that story? I explained that I had to learn how to fight when the odds were against me. I had to learn how to maneuver away from their blows to land my own even if there were two to four people attacking me. I wonâ€™t sit here and tell you I never lost a fight growing up because I did lose a few. But I won 80 percent of my fights and against cowards who couldnâ€™t come at me one-on-one. So, yeah Ryan, I can overcome the odds. I can overcome the cuts and bruises. And I have proven that in 6 matches Iâ€™ve overcome you 5 times. Sunday night I will overcome you again for the 6th time in 7 matches. Then what? You watch me walk away as a two-time Internet Champion and you walk away to return to your dressing room to gaze at yourself in the mirror minus the Internet Championship Title Belt. Thatâ€™s not my fantasy, Ryan, thatâ€™s reality.

The dressing room door opens and Pinky del Ferrando walks in. Heâ€™s dirty from caring for Sheep all day and the smell of Sheep poop wafts into the dressing room. James sniffs the air and cringes.

James: Glad to see you home a few hours early tonight. Please get your old ass into the bathroom and shower and donâ€™t you dare get out of the shower until you no longer smell like Sheep and Sheep poop. Also call someone to pick up your clothes and get them cleaned so they donâ€™t smell up our dressing room.

Pinky: Give me a break James. Iâ€™ve been dealing with Sheep with attitudes all day. Iâ€™m tired. Yeah Iâ€™ll take a shower but for now I will double-bag my dirty clothing in trash bags and they will remain in my bedroom so you wonâ€™t have to smell them. See you in the morning.

Pinky walks into his bedroom and closes the door behind him. James lets out a sigh and he looks into the camera to make closing comments for the benefit of Ryan Keys.

James: Ryan youâ€™re a pretty boy with thin skin that cuts and bruises easily. Iâ€™m a thick-skinned full-blooded Sicilian Italian that doesnâ€™t bruise or cut easily. You take weeks to heal and within a week Iâ€™m healed and good to go into my next match. You break a fingernail or get a speck of dust in your eye and you run to the nail salon to have the nail repaired or to have your doctor flush out the dust from your eyes. When I break a fingernail I use the jagged edge to cut my opponent. When I get a speck of dust in my eye I just wipe it out and continue beating the hell out of my opponent. Your days as Internet Champion are numbered. Sunday night your reign as Internet Champion ends.

James tells the cameraman heâ€™s done with his comments and the cameraman cuts his camera feed and our screen goes black.

137

Climax Control Archives / Briefcase...Briefcace...Who Has the Briefcase?

« on: September 27, 2017, 10:47:47 AM »

BRIEFCASE, BRIEFCASE, WHO HAS THE BRIEFCASE?

Narrator: What an interesting Climax Control 191! Unfortunately for Dmitri, he lost possession of the World Heavyweight Championship to Calvin Harris, so heâ€™ll at least get a re-match. Unfortunately for James Tuscini even though he has the Number One Contendership for the Internet Championship, due to having the re-match contract as the Champion who lost the Title Belt to Ryan Keys, Management decided that James must perform at Climax Control 192 in a Briefcase Match against Griffin Hawkins to determine which one of them will be the legal Number One Contender for the Internet Championship. This match is designed where the first wrestler to climb up a ladder and take possession of a Briefcase hanging 15 feet above the mat, will be declared the Number One Contender for the Internet Champion. The other question on my mind is now that Dmitri and James are no longer holding Singles Championships will continue as the Tag Team of Unholy Alliance and take on the Monstimals? We will have to wait and see if James and Pinky address that issue also.

PRESS CONFERENCE

We change scenes where we are taken to a Conference Room where James Tuscini and Pinky del Ferrando are meeting with news media personnel to give their comments on Tusciniâ€™s match at Climax Control 192. The Conference Room is located at the Spark Arena in Auckland, New Zealand, where Sin City Wrestling is holding Climax Control 192. James usually dresses casually for Press Conferences but today he surprised us by showing up in a medium gray pinstriped suit with a white shirt and red power tie. Pinky looks like a Mortician in his black suit with white shirt and black tie. They are on a raised platform and they are both sitting at a large table set up on the stage. We notice there are numerous cans of soda on the table in addition to a very large tray of assorted donuts. Pinky raises his hands to quiet those in attendance and once they quiet down they begin their comments.

Pinky: With most Press Conferences the people in attendance can ask questions and the people holding the Press Conference answer those questions. We donâ€™t do things like that and since you people Down Under might not understand how James and I do things weâ€™ll enlighten you. The concept of our Press Conference today is that weâ€™re here to present information to you. Weâ€™re not going to take questions from you. If you have questions you can ask us privately later at another location but we will not do the question and answer thing during our time at this Press Conference. James I would like you to start off the comments.

James: Before I go into comments on my match against Griffin Hawkins I would like to comment on our current Roulette Champion Kris. He has a few more weeks holding the Roulette Championship and heâ€™ll pass me up as the 3rd longest-reigning Roulette Champion. Kris I know you can easily pass me up but what I really want to see from you is to outlast Equinox and Goth to become the longest-reigning Roulette Champion. Iâ€™m pulling for you to accomplish this feat. Best to you in your endeavor Kris.

Pinky: What in the *bleep* was that James? Youâ€™re being nice to Kris?

James: Kris is an awesome Roulette Champion and he deserve my praise and recognition. Nothing sucks more than breaking records and achieving major things only to have people disrespect you and undermine your accomplishments.

Pinky: Youâ€™re being too nice but thatâ€™s your decision.

WHY DOES JAMES TUSCINI HAVE TO PROVE SOMETHING HEâ€™S ALREADY PROVEN?

James: I want to know something. Iâ€™m sure nobody will give me a straight answer though. Why in hell do I have to â€œproveâ€ myself as the Number One Contender for the Internet Championship when Iâ€™m already the Number One Contender for the Internet Championship? I lost the Internet Championship to Ryan Keys and that gave me automatic and legal possession of the Number One Contender position and I have the re-match contract to prove it. Geez! Itâ€™s like you see a bird that looks like a duck, it has a duck bill, it has feathers like a duck, and you hear it go quack, and then you demand this duck prove, beyond a doubt, that it is, in fact a duck. I shouldnâ€™t have to do this match with Griffin Hawkins for the Number One Contendership but since Management asked me to do the match I respect them and Iâ€™ll do the match. Even so I donâ€™t understand why I have to prove a damn thing. Oh I know. Hawkins your claim to the Number One Contendership is due to the fact that you defeated Ryan Keys once in a non-title match. Well, Griffin, if one win in one match qualifies you to challenge for the Number One Contendership then if you take the five wins I have over Ryan Keys then I hold the distinction of being five times more entitled to be Number One Contender for the Internet Championship than you do. Itâ€™s okay though as Iâ€™ll do what Management has asked me to do at Climax Control 192 which is to defeat you by climbing the ladder and taking possession of the Briefcase. Iâ€™ll prove Iâ€™m the legal Number One Contender for the Internet Championship.

Pinky: What this match consists of is a briefcase hung 15 feet above the ring and the first wrestler who can climb up a ladder and take possession of the briefcase will be declared the Number One Contender for the Internet Championship. This match is so easy for James to win it is as easy as a blowtorch cutting through warm butter.

James: Seriously, Griffin, do you believe you can out-wrestle, out hit, out-punch, out-maneuver, and out-smart me in a match like this? I understand your name is Griffin Hawkins. However I feel as though my opponent for this match is really Stephen Hawking. Now why would I invoke the name of Stephen Hawking and place him as a reference on how I see you in our match? I feel that although youâ€™re a smart wrestler youâ€™re as limited in your physical abilities as Professor Stephen Hawking is. I know Stephen Hawking can defeat me in a game of Chess, in a Math contest, and during discussions about science, but if Professor Hawking were to get insulted by my comments I surely donâ€™t see him getting out of the confinement of his wheelchair to stand up and kick my ass. Yeah, Griffin, thatâ€™s how I see you. I feel you can talk a good game and maybe defeat me at a game of marbles but when it comes to kicking ass, climbing a ladder, and taking possession of a briefcase that contains the Number One Contendership for the Internet Championship, that is something you will never be able to accomplish, just as Stephen Hawking will never accomplish standing up out of his wheelchair to physically kick my ass. Iâ€™ll prove you wrong.. Iâ€™ll crush your ambitions. Iâ€™ll show Management they shouldnâ€™t have given in to your empty demands for a shot at a Championship you had no business asking for.

Pinky: Whatcha gonna do after you defeat Griffin Hawkins at Climax Control 192?

James: Iâ€™ll face Ryan Keys for the Internet Championship and become a two-time Internet Champion.

DOES JAMES TUSCINI STILL HAVE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP ASPIRATIONS?

Pinky: James I want to ask you something. Now that Dmitri doesnâ€™t hold a Singles Championship, and you also donâ€™t hold a Singles Championship, until you defeat Ryan Keys soon that is, do you still have a desire to pursue the Tag Team Championship with your Tag Team Partner and friend, Dmitri?

James: I wouldnâ€™t pursue the Tag Team Championship with Dmitri as Unholy Alliance at this time. I feel Dmitri will again regain the World Heavyweight Championship and I donâ€™t want to distract him with thoughts of going after the Tag Team Championship at this time. Also in a few weeks Iâ€™ll defeat Ryan Keys and become a two-time Internet Champion. Therefore with one of us, or both of us, holding Singles Championships, we wouldnâ€™t be interested in doing Tag Team wrestling for now. However, Uncle, if by some unknown miracle, or a Voodoo curse has been put on me, where I lose against Ryan Keys in my re-match, or God forbid that Griffin Hawkins gets the win over me at Climax Control 192, would you consider tag teaming with me again as The Family to take on the Monstimals?

Pinky: No way James! I had my fill of wrestling when we did the Tag Team Championship Battle Royal. Even though we were the third team eliminated, which was a good showing for us, I feel my place is at ringside as your Manager and not inside the ring as a wrestler.

James: Thatâ€™s okay Uncle. I understand how difficult it is being inside the wrestling ring with professional wrestlers. For now weâ€™ll put The Family Tag Team on hold but if an opportunity comes up and Management asks us to perform in a Tag Team match we can do it again. As for me and Dmitri as Unholy Alliance I feel until both of us are totally out of contention for any Championships we will not be doing the Tag Team thing again for some time.

â€BEING CHALLENGED IN LIFE IS INEVITABLE, BEING DEFEATED IS OPTIONALâ€ Roger Crawford

Pinky: Several weeks ago we saw an alignment and association between Joshua Acquin with me and James. Maybe everyone feels it was just idle talk. Nothing idle about it. Joshua came to us and indicated he respects James and his work in the ring and James responded to Acquin that he also respects Acquinâ€™s work in the ring. Our agreement with Acquin is to keep an eye on others to ensure there are no attempts from to interfere in their matches.

James: At Climax Control 191 Acquin got his request to face Kris for the Roulette Championship granted. At Climax Control 192 we see Joshua Acquin take on Kris for the Roulette Championship. Can Acquin defeat Kris for the Roulette Championship? With very few exceptions everyone on the Sin City Wrestling roster can defeat anyone else on the roster on any given day. We will be watching Acquinâ€™s match and if someone attempts to interfere on behalf of Kris to screw Acquin out of the match we will take appropriate action.

Pinky: Whatâ€™s that quote you read to me the other day James?

James: It was â€Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optionalâ€ by Roger Crawford. This is the concept that myself and Joshua Acquin work on. We know wrestling is challenging. We know some opponents are more challenging than others. But we also understand that defeat is optional and we are not going to allow defeat to enter into our matches at Climax Control 192.

Pinky: I hope Kris and Griffin Hawkins are listening the taking notes.

WHAT CAN GRIFFIN HAWKINS EXPECT IN THIS UPCOMING MATCH?

James: Griffin I wish to explain to you what you are in for in this match. Remember that you demanded a Briefcase match against Ryan Keys but Management wasnâ€™t going to give into your whining and demanding and just hand you want you wanted. No, Hawkins, they threw a curve ball at you by telling you the only way you could get a shot at Ryan Keys and the Internet Championship is to defeat ME in a Briefcase match.

Pinky: Griffin are you aware of the saying that goes something like the following? Be careful what you ask for as you might just get it. There is another one that goes Hell is getting what you want. Well, Hawkins, you should have been careful what you asked for, and hell is getting what you want, because you asked for this match and now you have a Briefcase match from Hell against James Tuscini. I can assure you that having dozens of heavily bleeding cuts on your body, and you are in a river or lake filled with hungry Piranha, would be a more enjoyable adventure that what James will put you through in your match.

James: You havenâ€™t been in Sin City wrestling long enough to know that Iâ€™ve done exceptionally well in violent matches. Iâ€™ve succeeded in Ladder matches, Tables Ladders and Chairs matches, Ultimate X over the pool in a cruise liner matches, Street Fights, you name it. I donâ€™t back down from anything or anyone. I donâ€™t take steps backward I take steps forward. I donâ€™t get intimidated by anyone for any reason as Iâ€™m the â€œIntimidator.â€ When you step into the ring with me Sunday evening I want you to make sure youâ€™ve signed the waiver that states if you suffer injuries, or if you end up injured to the point where you either have to take off many weeks to recover or retire from wrestling, that you will not hold Sin City Wrestling or myself liable for your injuries which are a result of your arrogance and stupidity.

Pinky: I know what youâ€™ll say next Griffin. Youâ€™ll state that, well by golly gee, youâ€™ve defeated Steve Ramone and Ryan Keys so you deserve this Championship shot. James is currently 5-1 against Ryan Keys. We lost track how many times James has defeated Steve Ramone but I believe it is at least four times. In fact, Griffin, James and Ryan Keys have kicked the crap out of Steve Ramone so many times that Ramone hasnâ€™t had to run to the bathroom to take a shit for six months. So if you want to claim that one win over Ramone, and one win over Ryan Keys, qualifies you to have a shot at the Internet Championship then take the nine wins James has over Ryan and Steve and you realize James is more deserving of an Internet Championship Title match than youâ€™ll ever be. Maybe in your empty deluded drug-infused mind you think you are qualified for a shot at a Championship but thatâ€™s all it is. You â€œthinkâ€ you should get a shot at the Championship but James and I KNOW that James earned every Title shot heâ€™s been given.

THE SHIT IS ABOUT TO HIT THE FAN

James and Pinky take a short break to eat several donuts and down some soda. While theyâ€™re enjoying their snacks, which by the way nobody else in the Conference Room but James and Pinky have snacks, some of the reporters start yelling out questions for James and Pinky to answer. This really pisses Pinky del Ferrando off as he already told them he and James will talk, they will listen, and they will not ask questions.

Pinky: I told you punk asses there will be no questions! I know you understand English. What part of THERE WILL BE NO QUESTIONS AT THIS PRESS CONFERENCE are you not understanding?

The reporters in the audience get belligerent and start yelling insulting things at James and Pinky. This infuriates Pinky del Ferrando and we cannot help but gasp and laugh when we see Pinky picking up donuts from the tray on the table and he starts hurling them into the audience. We laugh especially hard when a jelly-filled donut smacks the smart ass reporter square in the face and the jelly filling gushes out and covers the reporter. Security personnel rush onto the platform to protect James and Pinky from the rowdy crowd. James and Pinky decide to make final comments before leaving the Conference Room.

Pinky: Now youâ€™ve done it! Youâ€™ve crossed over the line! Youâ€™ve pissed us off! Thanks a lot because weâ€™re gonna take this anger into the match against Griffin Hawkins and kick his sorry ass from ring post to ring post!

James: Griffin when I take possession of the Briefcase, and Iâ€™m declared the winner of the match, Iâ€™ll make sure to smack the briefcase into your head and into your face. I want you to suffer the loss to me in the match. I want you to suffer your failure to obtain the Number One Contendership for the Internet Championship. I want you to suffer several Briefcase shots to your head. I put up with months of Steve Ramone demanding shots at Championships he didnâ€™t earn the right to challenge for and then you come along and do the same thing he did. You bring your self-righteous ass to the ring. You bring your stupid demands for things you donâ€™t deserve to the ring. You bring your punk ass to the ring. I also want you to pay attention as Iâ€™m beating you into the nearest Intensive Care Unit. Your days are numbered Hawkins. The only number Iâ€™m concerned about is the number ONE as in Iâ€™m the Number One Contender for the Internet Championship!

Pinky: You people in New Zealand can kiss my ass! You claim to be some of the nicest people on the planet and then we come down here and get disrespected by you. Rot in Hell for your actions against us!

James and Pinky walk off the platform with Security personnel walking with them to prevent the locals from physically attacking them. They escort the two to the door of the Conference Room where they exit the Conference Room into the hallway to head back to their dressing room. The Network cuts to a commercial break.

138

Climax Control Archives / Gonna Be An Interesting Tag Team Battle Royal

« on: September 11, 2017, 07:49:42 AM »

* Due to Hurricane Irma arriving in Georgia today, which is already causing high winds, rain, and a threat of tornadoes in the Atlanta Metro area where I live, I decided to post my promo today just in case we lose power and don't get power back until late in the week. - Andy

THIS IS GOING TO BE A VERY INTERSTING TAG TEAM BATTLE ROYAL

PINKY DEL FERRANDO IS SELLING HIS MAFIA PIZZA RESTAURANT IN DULUTH, GEORGIA

Narrator: James Tuscini put up a great fight at Violent Conduct IV, against Ryan Keys and Killian Sweete, but he was defeated by Ryan Keys, and by a submission at that, ending Jamesâ€™ Internet Championship run at 28 days. Letâ€™s tune in with James Tuscini and Pinky del Ferrando to see what they have to say about things and how they are getting ready for Climax Control 190.

We switch to a scene of James Tuscini and Pinky del Ferrando at Pinky del Ferrandoâ€™s Mafia Pizza restaurant located in Duluth, Georgia. They are sitting at one of the tables having a discussion and there is a third person with them but we donâ€™t recognize that person. James is in casual attire of blue jeans, black athletic shoes, and a blue pullover shirt. Pinky is also in blue jeans, but heâ€™s wearing black athletic shoes and a red pullover shirt. The unidentified man is wearing a dark gray business suit.

James: As you can see, Uncle, you have to take this graphic literally to heart and put it deep into your mind. When we are in the initial stages of the Tag Team Battle Royal and our purpose is to eliminate the other Tag Teams you have to make sure that If youâ€™re gonna fight, fight like youâ€™re the third Monkey on the ramp to Noahâ€™s Ark. And brother, itâ€™s starting to rain.

Pinky: Thanks James that helps a lot. And to think of it other Managers got into the ring to wrestle so no reason I canâ€™t follow in the footsteps of Managers like Freddie Blassie, Bobby Heenan, Lou Albano, Mister Fuji, and others.

James: The only difference between you and the Managers you mentioned is that they were wrestlers before they became Managers so it was easy for them to get back into the ring and wrestle again. I donâ€™t believe I have enough time to get you at their level of wrestling performance but we can bust out some intense practice, training, and sparring, so that at least we wonâ€™t be the first Tag Team eliminated in the Battle Royal.

James informs the cameraman to cut his feed and that he will contact the cameraman later to meet up with them at the Gym where James plans on working with Pinky on wrestling skills before the two fly out of Atlanta to fly to Christchurch, New Zealand. The cameraman cuts the feed and our screen goes black.

* LATER IN THE DAY *

PINKYâ€™S OFFICIAL TRAINING HAS BEGUN

The scene opens at the Bangkok Boxing Fitness center in Duluth, Georgia, located at 1630 Pleasant Hill Road. The cameraman pans around the facility and he lands the shot on James and Pinky in a ring where James is about to teach Pinky the best he can about the sport of wrestling. We notice James is in his normal wrestling attire but Pinky del Ferrando is wearing something that we can only describe as...as...longjohns?

James: Uncle! What the *bleep* are you wearing? Couldnâ€™t you purchase something more along the lines of something considered â€œnormalâ€ by wrestling standards? I mean, come on, a pair of white cotton...longjohns?

Pinky: This is all I had in my closet that would work. I wasnâ€™t gonna wear one of my suits to the match. And I hate to have to go out and purchase something for a one-time event.

James: What makes you think this will be a one-time event?

Pinky: Well for one thing Iâ€™m 64 years of age. Another thing is Iâ€™m not trained as a full-time wrestler as the rest of you are. So this sleepwear, which young folks like you might call â€œlongjohns,â€ was all I had available. If you want to be a jerk about it James I guess I could go out and purchase a very nice pair of thong trunks like those Ryan Keys wears? Wouldnâ€™t you like me to come dressed in a thong so I can show my junk to everyone? Yeah, James, you wanna see a 64 year old man in a thong with his junk hanging out?

James: Nevermind. Wear the longjohns. But I do have a question for you. Thereâ€™s a flap on the backside of the longjohns. I see a few buttons holding the flap closed. Arenâ€™t you worried you might pop a button or two, the flap will pop open, and you might moon the fans in the arena?

Pinky: Thatâ€™s the chance the fans are taking and we can only hope the censors have their finger on the censor button. Ha ha ha! Anyway letâ€™s get to the training.

James and Pinky move to the center of the ring and James instructs Pinky how to execute some basic wrestling maneuvers. However in this Tag Team Battle Royal until it comes down to the last two teams the moves need to be structured to toss opponents over the top rope so that they will land on the arena floor to eliminate their team. James doesnâ€™t have the time available to fully train Pinky in all the wrestling moves available so if their Tag Team, THE FAMILY, ends up as one of the last two, it might be difficult for them to win but they can give it their best shot as you never know what might happen. After a long training and sparring session James feels heâ€™s done as much as he can with Pinky so they end the training session, exit the ring, grab towels to dry off, and bottles of water to drink.

WHO ARE THE OTHER FOUR TEAMS INVOLVED IN THE TAG TEAM BATTLE ROYAL?

Pinky: By the way James you havenâ€™t told me who the other Tag Teams are who are involved in the Tag Team Battle Royal. I would like to think about how the match will go during our flight to New Zealand.

James: Sorry Uncle. In my rush to get you trained to wrestle I forgot to tell you who we are facing. The other four Tag Teams we will be up against in this match include the following. Black Sheep consisting of Porter and Killian Sweete. The Monstimals consisting of Lord Raab and Samuel McPherson. London Underground consisting of Daniel Morgan and Osbourne. The fourth team we are up against is Horace Jackson and Travis Nathaniel Andrews.

Pinky: All great tag teams with Black Sheep and Monstimals working together for a long time. With the other two Tag Teams Iâ€™m only familiar with TNA and I know he can be a damn tough competitor. So all we have to do is eliminate three of the four Tag Teams then it comes down to us and the other remaining team with the winner being crowned Sin City Wrestling Tag Team Champions?

James: Easier said than done Uncle. However please remember the sign I showed you the other day about the monkey and remember the saying If youâ€™re gonna fight, fight like youâ€™re the third Monkey on the ramp to Noahâ€™s Ark. And brother, itâ€™s starting to rain. At least if you put up the best fight you can and still lose you can hold your head high knowing you did the best you could.

Pinky: Thanks for the training and encouragement. I will give it my best shot and it will be fun to see what I am capable of accomplishing in the wrestling ring. Letâ€™s get home and get packed so we can catch our flight to New Zealand. I want to get there so we can get settled in and relax for a time before our match at Climax Control 190.

James turns to the cameraman and the cameraman doesnâ€™t need an explanation to know what he needs to do. He immediately cuts his camera feed and our screen goes dark for a moment before the Network throws up a commercial break.

139

Climax Control Archives / What Would You Do For A Klondike Bar

« on: August 18, 2017, 09:31:07 AM »

WHAT WOULD YOU DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR?

Narrator: It seems like James Tuscini winning Sin City Wrestlingâ€™s Internet Championship has stirred up jealousy in a lot of wrestlers. This jealousy conjures up names such as Kris, Steve Ramone, Samuel McPherson, and others. However weâ€™ve noticed that Calvin Harris did the right thing by congratulating Tuscini on his win. What needs to happen for those wrestlers who are jealous is that they need to stop distracting themselves with their jealousy of James Tuscini and focus on their wrestling matches and their opponents. Oh well thatâ€™s their problem. James Tuscini has no problems as heâ€™s a Singles Champion again and nobody can take that away from him especially not jealousy of other wrestlers.

The scene comes into focus at Samâ€™s Town in Laughlin, Nevada, where Sin City Wrestling is holding Climax Control 189. We see James Tuscini, and his Uncle-Manager Pinky del Ferrando, standing with someone in the backstage area and they look like they are ready to air a segment or something. James is dressed in casual attire of blue jeans, black athletic shoes, and a blue pullover shirt. Pinky is a bit more dressed up wearing a casual black suit with white shirt and red power tie. The person standing with James and Pinky begins his comments.

Currently Unidentified Man: Hi! My name is Ralph and Iâ€™m a spokesperson for the Unilever company that makes Klondike Bars. Iâ€™m here today with Sin City Wrestling Superstar, and current Sin City Wrestling Internet Champion, James Tuscini along with his Manager Pinky del Ferrando. Do you two know why youâ€™re on camera with me today?

James: To interview me, the Internet Champion, so you can boost your companyâ€™s ratings?

Pinky: If youâ€™re here to get us to sponsor your products fuhgeddaboudit! We canâ€™t be bought!

Klondike Bar Spokesperson: No no no! Iâ€™m not here for that reason! Iâ€™m here to conduct a spontaneous, on-the-spot, unrehearsed, live on the air, not previously recorded, â€œWHAT WOULD YOU DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR?â€ commercial. Are you two up for a challenge?

James: Well we both love Klondike Bars so, yeah, give us some challenges and letâ€™s see where it goes.

We hear the familiar jingle that goes â€œWhat would you do for a Klondike Bar?â€ Then the spokesperson for Klondike Bars asks them a question to challenge them on what they would be willing to do to obtain a free Klondike Bar.

Klondike Bar Spokesperson Would you let a dirty, stinky, toothless, flea-infested, homeless woman, who hasnâ€™t bathed for a month, sit on your face?

James: Thatâ€™s an easy one! Both myself and Uncle Pinky would gladly do that for a Klondike Bar. I mean, come on, thatâ€™s why they make toothpaste and mouthwash and nothing a hot shower and lots of soap canâ€™t wash off!

The Klondike Bar Spokesperson hands a Klondike Bar to James and one to Pinky for their honest answer and then he moves on to the next challenge question.

Klondike Bar Spokesperson: Would you drink a bottle of soda or beer knowing that someone pissed in it?

Pinky: Canâ€™t you do better than that? When I grew up very poor in the slums of San Francisco we had to drink water that was worse than being tainted with piss. Give us our Klondike Bars!

The Klondike Bar Spokesperson hands another Klondike Bar to Pinky del Ferrando and one to James Tuscini and then me moves on to the third challenge question.

Klondike Bar Spokesperson: Would you go on a dinner date where you knew you were being set up with a woman who, by any means of description, would be classified as a cross between a Water Buffalo and a Warthog?

James: Nothing wrong with dating an ugly woman as they often put out better than the pretty ones.

Pinky: Considering some of the ring rats Iâ€™ve ended up with after a few drinks having a woman who is a cross between a Water Buffalo and a Warthog would be a step up! Give us our Klondike Bars!

The Klondike Bar Spokesperson hands one Klondike Bar to James and one to Pinky and then he informs the two he will give them his last question as a challenge to get their response.

Klondike Bar Spokesperson: Hereâ€™s your final question and challenge to see if you would be willing to do ANYTHING for a Klondike Bar. Would you deliberately take a dive in a wrestling match to allow an opponent to get the win? Also would you take a dive to allow an opponent to get the win AND obtain the Title Belt youâ€™re holding?

The look on the faces of James Tuscini and Pinky del Ferrando are priceless.

James: Not only NO but HELL NO!!! F*CK NO!!! As much as I love Klondike bars thereâ€™s no way Iâ€™d take a dive in any match and especially not in a Title defense match even if the wrestler I was facing was a top notch wrestler! You can take your f*cking Klondike Bars and shove them up your ass with that question!

Pinky: How dare you even think of asking a question like that! From this moment forward the two of us will never eat Klondike Bars again!

The Klondike Bar Spokesperson is about to offer comments to defend his question but Pinky del Ferrando gets in his face and the man backs down as Pinky slaps the Klondike Bars out of the manâ€™s hand and then he pushes him backward. The Klondike Bar Spokesperson quickly leaves the area where the segment was being aired leaving James and Pinky standing there. Pinky informs the Network they will continue with their comments concerning the match James has for Climax Control 189 and that the Network will not cut the camera feed for the air time until Pinky tells them they can.

James: I canâ€™t believe anyone would ask me if I would take a dive in any wrestling match! What the hell? Do they think Iâ€™m Floyd Mayweather, Manny Pacquiao, or Connor McGregor? Pacquiao and McGregor are doing staged fights with Mayweather and they get paid millions of dollars for taking a dive in the fight. Why should those two care if they get over $10 Million for taking a dive? Youâ€™ll never see me take a dive in any fight! NO, NOPE, NO WAY, HELL NO, F*CK NO!!!

Pinky: Then we have Griffin Hawkins making challenges for the Internet Championship within minutes of James earning the Title Belt. I know Griffin has a good wrestling history outside of Sin City Wrestling. Although that is commendable his performance so far in Sin City Wrestling is 1-1 and thatâ€™s not what earns you a shot at James Tuscini and his Internet Title Belt. Gee, Griffin, get a few more wins, and this time against tough opponents, before you knock on our door demanding a shot at James and the Internet Championship.

James and Pinky look at each other before returning to focus on the camera to continue their comments for their upcoming match.

WHAT EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW

James: Have you noticed what happened recently? Calvin Harris won the World Heavyweight Championship and the next week I won the Internet Championship. Have you noticed that even though Calvin Harris hasnâ€™t been placed on a card since his win that the fans, other wrestlers, and all the sportscasters, constantly mention the name of Calvin Harris? Same thing happened when I won the Internet Title Belt. The fans constantly mention my name. Other wrestlers mention my name. And sportscasters cannot get enough of mentioning my name. There are many wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling, who have been here for many years, and even though theyâ€™ve held Title Belts, or they currently hold Title Belts, you rarely hear their names mentioned. That tells you all you need to know how well known and respected me and Calvin Harris are.

Pinky: Preach it to the congregation James!

James: As Iâ€™ve said many times jealousy is an evil taskmaster. There are so many wrestlers who claim they donâ€™t care about Title Belts but all they do is demand shots at Title Belts. They claim they donâ€™t care if the fans support them or not but as soon as the fans start supporting someone else these wrestlers throw a fit and complain about the non-support of the fans. These wrestlers need to know they are defined by the term Hypocrite which means you say one thing then you do something else. Iâ€™m not a hypocrite. Calvin Harris isnâ€™t a hypocrite. We both say what we mean and mean what we say.

TIME TO LET MY OPPONENT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE ABOUT TO RECEIVE

Pinky: On Sunday, August 20, 2017, at Climax Control 189, James Tuscini will be facing off against Calvin Harris in a Standard Rules Singles match. Neither Calvinâ€™s World Heavyweight Title Belt or Jamesâ€™ Internet Title Belt are on the line. This match is not about Title Belts. It goes deeper than that. This match pits James against Calvin Harris who is the opponent of Dmitri at Violent Conduct IV. This match is to give Harris a major challenge before having to walk into Violent Conduct IV and face Dmitri with the World Heavyweight Championship on the line. I see this match as a chance for James to prove he never backs down from a fight and that he can wear down Calvin Harris before he has to face Dmitri. Well, James, what do you think of this wrestling assignment for Climax Control 189?

James: I have tons of stuff to say. That means the Network is not going to cut the air time until Iâ€™m finished with what I have to say. I would like to state that having the privilege of facing off against Calvin Harris is an honor anyone would be proud to have. Maybe there are some of you who donâ€™t like the fact that Calvin Harris is the World Heavyweight Champion. I honestly donâ€™t give a damn what you think or how you feel. I respect Calvin Harris for being in that Six Man Last Man Standing Battle Royal with me a few weeks ago and coming out as the winner. Am I happy that Dmitri ended up runner-up and I was the fourth wrestler eliminated from the match? Not happy about that at all but thatâ€™s how it went down and we have to deal with every match as they happen and accept the results. Calvin I salute you for your accomplishment in becoming the current Sin City Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion and I want us to have an awesome match that shows the world we are both great competitors and deserving of the title of Champion.

Pinky: I enjoy making a head-to-head comparison of wrestlers in matches to see if either has an advantage. In this upcoming match we have Calvin Harris coming in at 6 feet 2 inches and 227 pounds. James Tuscini comes into the match at 6 feet 4 inches and 240 pounds. A difference of 2 inches and 13 pounds doesnâ€™t give either an advantage as I see it. James is a Technical-Brawler wrestler which is why he fared well in the Roulette Division as he is able to keep it Technical or fight it out depending on the Rules and Stipulations of the match. Calvin, on the other hand, is an all-around wrestler, who can easily take advantage of a match regardless of which direction the match goes. Do either of them have a clear and distinct advantage? Sorry but I donâ€™t see one. I see this match coming down to which wrestler makes the first mistake that his opponent can take advantage of. Who will be the wrestler to make the first mistake? I dunno. I want it to be Calvin Harris, and of course I donâ€™t want it to be James, but I donâ€™t know how it will turn out and nobody else does either.

James: Everyone needs to know that Iâ€™ve had a talk with Dmitri and I told him I donâ€™t want him to be involved in my match with Harris. I told Dmitri that Pinky is allowed at ringside as he is my Manager and his job is to cheer me on, offer encouragement, and to prevent others from interfering in the match. I told Dmitri I donâ€™t want my match tainted by him showing up and interfering in the match. Iâ€™m a great wrestler and whether I win or lose this match, as long as the wrestler who wins accomplishes that legally, I donâ€™t mind. I donâ€™t let a loss here and there ruin my wrestling career. On the flip side I donâ€™t let a win here and there inflate my ego to the point where I feel I should never lose. I simply want a fair and honest match, where the winner wins legally, and that myself and Calvin can both be happy with the final decision on the match and shake hands out of respect for the accomplishments of the other.

Pinky del Ferrando is about to make some comments when the representative from the Network tries to inform him there are only a few minutes left so they need to hurry up and finish their comments. Pinky takes offense to this and fires back at the Network representative.

Pinky: Apparently you morons at the Network have worse listening skills than half the wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling! I already told you weâ€™re in control of this air time and I already told you that you will NOT cut the feed for the broadcast until I inform you we are done! I suggest you back off and tell the Executives at the Network if they cut their feed on us they will see me in person and they honestly donâ€™t want me to visit them in their Executive Office Suites! Is that clear?

The Network Representative quickly backs off and calls into the Network to inform them what was just said. They inform their Representative that they heard every word Pinky del Ferrando said and they guarantee they will not cut the feed until Pinky tells them it is okay to do so. The Network Representative informs Pinky of the decision of the Network Executives and Pinky is happy they agreed with him.

Pinky: Now you see how to get things done around here! You have some assholes who want to disrespect James as the Internet Champion in Sin City Wrestling and they think because Iâ€™m an old man they can f*ck with me also. You just found out who has the big balls around here and it isnâ€™t the Network or their Executives!

Pinky del Ferrando performs the standard in-your-face Italian smart-ass gesture of grabbing his nut sack with his hand while stating...

Pinky: I got your domination right here!

Pinky releases his grip on his nut sack and he and James continue with their comments and they plan on taking as much time as they want since they own the air time now.

Pinky: Sometimes you have to let the full-blooded Sicilian Italian nature take over to get things accomplished. But enough about having more whup ass in my little finger than most people have in their entire body. Letâ€™s continue talking about your match with Calvin Harris.

James: *Ahem!* So, Calvin, as I was saying, before the Network interrupted us and Pinky verbally kicked their ass, I donâ€™t go into matches with the intention of injuring my opponent. Well, okay, when I wrestle against Kris or Steve Ramone I really do have the intention of injuring them but not because Iâ€™m an asshole but because they deserve to get beat down. With you, Harris, I have the ultimate in respect for you and what you accomplished. We are similar in that so many people refused to give us a chance. They said we shouldnâ€™t be receiving a shot at a Title Belt unless we earned it. But you know what Calvin? It isnâ€™t other wrestlers who decide who gets a shot at a Championship. It is Management who looks at the accomplishments of everyone and they make the decision who gets a shot at which Title Belt. Iâ€™ll be honest with you. I had a few shots at the World Heavyweight Championship and I came up short. I had several shots at the International Championship too and also came up short. Shit happens and in those cases where I came up short it was my fault. My opponents didnâ€™t cheat me out of a win. Iâ€™m not going to do the Steve Ramone Stand-Up Comedy Routine where he stands there and blames everyone but himself for his loss. I accept what happens in the wrestling ring and I use every match, win or lose, to better myself, improve my performance in the ring, and by doing so Management felt I was ready for another shot at the Internet Title Belt. Now here I am, and there you are, as Internet and World Heavyweight Champions. Just a month ago nobody gave either of us a snowballâ€™s chance in Hell of obtaining a Title Belt and now the two of us own Hell. How could the other wrestlers not admire that? Because they are jealous thatâ€™s why!

Pinky: We mentioned this before but it bears repeating. Calvin this match you have with James is a Standard Rules Singles match. We want this match to be totally under the rules of this match. We want this match to be an example to everyone that a match conducted fully within the rules and stipulations of the match can be one of the most exciting matches they have ever seen. Thereâ€™s nothing boring about two highly qualified and experienced wrestlers going at each other and winning legally.

James: However Calvin, and this is a big however, if you go outside the rules of this match, if you cheat, if you have interference, if you in any way violate the rules of our match to try to screw me out of a win then you need to fully expect me to go outside the rules in self-defense. If you want to take it outside of the rules, and if our Referee allows that to continue, then so be it. If you go off the rules and the Referee disqualifies you for doing so then you have to deal with your loss by disqualification and you have to own up to what you did. As for me I donâ€™t plan on losing by getting myself disqualified. I donâ€™t plan on losing because I violated the rules of our match. I plan on coming out as the top dog on the dog pile so that I can brag to the world that, once again, I did what others refused to believe I was capable of doing. So, Calvin, how this match goes is in your hands. You decide your destiny by either adhering to the rules or violating them. All I ask is for whatever choice you make, and that whatever the outcome of our match, that you own up to how your actions affected the outcome.

Pinky: Now we have come to the end of our comments. I know this thrills the Network as we just took up about 30 minutes of their air time that they wanted to use to let some worthless piss ant wrestler air their comments. Instead of complaining that we used up 30 minutes more airtime than we should have been allowed to do you should be thanking us for saving you from having to listing to boring wrestlers state boring things about their boring wrestling abilities. To the Network you now have my permission to cut the feed.

The Network Representative looks relieved that he can finally extricate himself from this hostage situation put on him by Pinky del Ferrando and James Tuscini. He calls into the Network to inform them they can finally cut the feed and they do so and replace it with a commercial break.

140

Climax Control Archives / The Internet Championship is Mine - GAME ON!

« on: August 04, 2017, 10:03:59 AM »

THE INTERNET CHAMPIONSHIP IS MINE

Narrator: Things donâ€™t always go along with the plans made ahead. James Tuscini didnâ€™t win the Six Man Over-The-Top Elimination Battle Royal, at Climax Control 186, for the vacated World Heavyweight Championship. Although he didnâ€™t win James was the fourth wrestler eliminated which means he came up one short of being one of the last two in the match. As it turned out Dmitri and Calvin Harris were the last two and it was Calvin Harris who won the match. But thatâ€™s not the end of the story. At Violent Conduct IV Dmitri will face Calvin Harris with the World Heavyweight Championship on the line and who knows what might happen in that match. But enough about Climax Control 186 and Dmitri and Calvin Harris. At Climax Control 187 James Tuscini has been assigned to a Four Wrestler Last Man Standing match with the winner being crowned the Sin City Wrestling Internet Champion taking possession of the vacated Internet Title Belt.

We join James Tuscini and his Uncle-Manager Pinky del Ferrando at the Lake Tahoe Outdoor Arena in Stateline, Nevada. There is a broadcast booth set up and James and Pinky are broadcasting their segment from this location. Both James and Pinky are casually dressed in blue jeans, black athletic shoes, and pullover shirts, with Pinky wearing a blue shirt and James wearing a green one. We also notice that the broadcast booth is out in the open, without a canopy over it, to take advantage of the sunny day.

James: Although I didnâ€™t win the World Heavyweight Championship I lasted longer than boneheads like Eyesnsane, Samuel McPherson, and Steve Ramone. Iâ€™m in no way disappointed at my performance in the World Championship match at Climax Control 186. Management placed me in that match because they know Iâ€™m World Championship material. After that match was over they decided to take the four wrestlers who were eliminated in that match and place them into a Last Man Standing match at Climax Control 187 with the winner being crowned the Internet Champion since the Title Belt was vacated recently. You will notice the others in the match are Eyesnsane, Steve Ramone, and Ryan Keys. Iâ€™m sure youâ€™re wondering why Samuel McPherson isnâ€™t involved in this match since he was one of the four wrestlers who were supposed to be placed in the Internet Championship match. Well his excuse is that â€œsomething came upâ€ so he wasnâ€™t able to make this match so Ryan Keys was placed in the match to take his spot. You want to know something? If I was the second wrestler eliminated in the Main Event at Climax Control 186 I probably would be as depressed as McPherson and not want to show my face at Climax Control 187 either. Let me make a public promise here and now. When I win the Internet Championship this Sunday evening I promise that when Samuel McPherson returns from his â€œvacationâ€ that I will grant him a shot at MY Internet Championship Title Belt. But enough talk about losers like Samuel McPherson. I need to focus on telling Keys, Ramone, and Eyesnsane why they shouldnâ€™t even be in this match and why Iâ€™ll be the last man standing and Iâ€™ll earn the Internet Title Belt.

Pinky: Recently we saw Calvin Harris win the World Heavyweight Title Belt. Harris has made the claim that he is the â€œWorld Champion nobody wants but SCW needs.â€ Our take on that comment is James Tuscini is the Internet Champion everyone wants and SCW needs.â€ That my promise on James winning the Internet Championship to the bank because my promise is good, valid, and cashable, at any bank in the world with maybe the exception of Venezuela.

We see a bird fly over the broadcast booth. The bird flits around above them and then flies off.

Pinky: It sucks not having a canopy over the broadcast booth. Birds have a tendency to drop cargo while flying. To begin our segment comments today we would like to comment on a trend happening in Sin City Wrestling. We are talking about wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling and it seems to have become a nasty habit.

James: Thereâ€™s something happening in Sin City Wrestling that pisses me off to no end. I want to address it so it will stop. People continuously claim that I, James Tuscini, am working a fake Mafia persona and that Iâ€™m a wannabe Mafia thug. The air reeks of their foul-smelling lies so itâ€™s time for me to clear the air so that it smells like freshly washed bed sheets. Iâ€™ve been in Sin City Wrestling since February 16, 2016. When August 16, 2017, rolls around that will be my 18th month anniversary here. Never once in those 18 months have I ever claimed to be a member of the Mafia. Never once have I claimed that I wanted to be a member of the Mafia. Never once have I been approached by anyone claiming to be from the Mafia who was offering me a position with them. NEVER! What part of NEVER are you idiots not understanding? Where the *bleep* do you *bleep*ing morons come up with this crap? The only person who has claimed they were associated with the Mafia is my Uncle Pinky del Ferrando and at first it was a joke to pull a trick on me. Iâ€™ve been ridiculing and teasing Pinky for a long time with his false Mafia claims. I even told him if these people offering him a position really were from the Mafia that he should be careful because he doesnâ€™t know what heâ€™s getting into. Then recently Pinky really was accepted into the Italian Mafia. So for all you idiots who have claimed, or you are thinking of claiming, that Iâ€™m pretending to be a Mafia thug, back the *bleep* off or Iâ€™ll come after you and beat you into silence. Iâ€™m sick of your *bleep*ing lies!

The bird that flew over the broadcast booth has returned and it makes a few circles and swoops down toward Pinky and James. We make the assumption that maybe the bird has a nest nearby and is trying to indicate where the birdâ€™s territorial boundaries are.

Pinky: Damn bird is at it again. The things we have to put up with eh James? Idiots in Sin City Wrestling lying about you and a bird dive bombing us while weâ€™re airing a segment. I remind everyone that I really am a member of the Italian Mafia but Iâ€™m still in the early stages where they send me on small assignments to see if I can manage them by completing them successfully. Once Iâ€™ve proven myself then I can move up. If you continue to lie about us youâ€™ll have to answer to me. Iâ€™m one of these people that if you disrespect me you are going to get your ass kicked. However if you disrespect my family members Iâ€™ll not only kick your ass Iâ€™ll beat you down so hard youâ€™ll wish you were dead!

James: What would you think if you were to spend a day in a classroom to watch how the students do on examinations and how the teacher does? Say your assignment was to sit and observe for one day. Say the teacher hands out a spelling test with 20 words the students are to spell correctly or 20 math questions the students need to process correctly. Letâ€™s say that you have the normal genius students who get all 20 questions correct. But then letâ€™s say you have the lazy boneheads, you know the type Iâ€™m talking about, those like my three opponents at Climax Control 187, who couldnâ€™t spell the word â€œIâ€ if you held a gun to their head and couldnâ€™t properly do the math equation of one plus one equals two. They spell only two of the 20 words correctly or they only process two of the 20 math questions correctly. Do you think it would be right for the teacher to give an â€œAâ€ to the students who got 20 out of 20 of the test questions correct? Of course you would say that is right. But would you also feel it would be right for the teacher to give an â€œAâ€ to the lazy boneheads who only managed to get two of the 20 test questions correct? No! You would stand up and bitch the teacher out. You would want to know why they gave students, who only got 10 percent of the spelling questions correct, an â€œAâ€ grade when they should have received a â€œDâ€ at best. With that on your mind you need to stop telling us that stupid, ignorant, no-talent, hack wrestlers should be getting Championship matches when they are not qualified to scrape gum off the sidewalk.

Pinky: What we have in Sin City Wrestling are wrestlers who are so stupid they have a difficult time putting four words together to form a basic sentence. Others can put a four word sentence together but you have no clue what the *bleep* they are talking about. You have wrestlers who have somewhat good wrestling abilities and they give only 20 percent of what they have in their matches while the others, like James, give 100 percent in every match. If you saw those lazy, stupid, incompetent wrestlers getting title shot after title shot, while those who bust their ass and give 100 percent every match were snubbed, wouldnâ€™t you complain and demand that people earn what they get? Of course you would.
But what do we have for the Internet Championship match this Sunday? We have James Tuscini who gives 100 percent every match. We have Ryan Keys who gives from 60 to 80 percent depending on how he feels that match. We have Steve Ramone who has performed less than 50 percent lately that in all his matches against me and Keys he has more losses than wins. Then we have Eyesnsane who represents the stupid, lazy, boneheads in Sin City Wrestling who rarely give 20 percent in a match but they expect to obtain shots at Title Belts and to receive an â€œAâ€ grade on a failed examination test. Grades earned? James Tuscini = A, Ryan Keys = B, Steve Ramone = C, Eyesnsane = F. Thank you. School is out for today and you have just been schooled.

James: I echo what Pinky said previously concerning disrespecting family. If you disrespect me and Iâ€™ll kick your ass and shut you up. But if you disrespect Pinky, who is my family, my blood family, my Sicilian Italian blood family, then you step over the line of no return and Iâ€™ll not only whup your ass to shut you up but Iâ€™ll hurt you severely. You don/t mess with my family and get off without injury.

Pinky: I think weâ€™ve spent enough of our air time explaining to the Roster why they suck and we donâ€™t. Letâ€™s focus on what weâ€™re about, what weâ€™re capable of achieving, and what weâ€™ll achieve in the near future.

James: Wait just a bit okay. I want present one more example. How about this one? When we have the Olympics should we do away with awarding a Gold, Silver, and Bronze medal to the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place finishers to the exclusion of all the others who fell short? Should we stop giving medals to the top three performers or should we just give a medal to everyone who participates in the Games? Well, gee, why even have Olympic Games then? Why not just allow everyone to stay home and mail them a medal even though they are not deserving and didnâ€™t physically participate in the Olympics? No, people, the concept is simple. In the sport of Wrestling you earn your way up the ladder of success. You earn your chance to challenge for a Title Belt. You earn a win by defeating your opponents. There are no freebies in the sport of Wrestling. Either you earn what you get or retire from the sport.

Pinky: No handouts to lazy ass wrestlers! Shit donâ€™t work like that here! If you want a shot at James Tuscini you better earn your way to a wrestling match against him. If James is holding a Title Belt you damn sure better have worked your way up and earned your shot at his Title Belt. This isnâ€™t a Soup Kitchen where you get a free meal. You are gonna earn your way up the ladder of success. If youâ€™re looking for a freebie and you hold your hand out to receive it you better be ready for James and me to slap your hand out of the way and then slap you across your face.

James and Pinky stop their comments to high five each other. Just as they do that the same bird returns and dive bombs them again. Pinky stands up and takes a swipe at the bird and the bird takes a last dive at Pinky trying to hit him in the head. The bird misses the hit and flies off. James and Pinky return to their comments concerning the Internet Championship match at Climax Control 187.

WHAT OTHERS REALLY THINK OF EYESNSANE, STEVE RAMONE, AND RYAN KEYS

James: Now is the part of our segment where we talk directly to, and about, Eyesnsane, Steve Ramone, and Ryan Keys. I know the three stooges, no offense to the original Three Stooges, donâ€™t want to hear what we have to say but theyâ€™re gonna hear it anyway.

Pinky: Weâ€™re starting with you Eyesnsane. Why will we start with you? Well donâ€™t you normally start at the bottom and work your way to the top? I went on a trip with James to the Reno Zoo and we were at the Chimpanzee exhibit. I like watching Chimps because they are close to being as capable as humans but in reality they are below us in mental ability and comprehension. Eyesnsane you havenâ€™t had a win against James Tuscini yet. You are not obtaining a win against James Tuscini at Climax Control 187 either. So there we are interacting with the Chimpanzees and I happened to ask one of the Chimps what he thought of the wrestler Eyesnsane. Iâ€™ll ask James to hold up the photo he took of the Chimpanzeeâ€™s reaction.

James Tuscini holds up a photo of Eyesnsane and the photo he took of the Chimpanzeeâ€™s response to the mention of Eyesnsaneâ€™s name and the cameraman gets a shot of it and it appears on our screen.

James: I apologize for the quality of this photo. The dim lighting in the Elderly Living Facility was such that my cell phone camera wasnâ€™t able to take a great photo and it came out pretty much bland in color. However the concept of what happened when this old woman heard the name of Ryan Keys is the important feature. I asked her why she flipped off Ryan Keys and she told me that she feels Ryan Keys wrestles like an old woman and that since he hasnâ€™t gotten a win over me in four matches why in the hell is he even assigned to this match. When I explained to her that he is a replacement due to Samuel McPherson being unable to perform for this match, she replied that Ryan Keys is nothing more than a sacrifice to the god James Tuscini. I thanked this Grandma for her kind words and thinking of me as a god but I made sure she understood that Iâ€™m simply an outstanding wrestler but Iâ€™ll continue to work on obtaining god status.

Pinky: That was the last visit we made on our trips. Weâ€™re ready to kick three asses on Sunday night and watch James Tuscini be crowned as the Internet Champion.

James and Pinky lay the photos of Eyesnsane, Steve Ramone, and Ryan Keys, on the table. Immediately the same bird who flew around James and Pinky earlier returns. This time the bird swoops down toward the table and then flips up above the table and lets out a large amount of bird poop. The poop covers the photos of Ramone, Keys, and Eyesnsane. The bird is done and it does a loop in the air, flitters for a moment, and then the bird lets out a cheerful chirp before flying off. James and Pinky throw the photos into the trash can and they cannot help but laugh at the story this image tells.

Pinky: Har har har! That bird just said the same thing weâ€™ve been saying. That Eyesnsane, Ramone, and Keys, are nothing more than targets for James to hit.

James: Ha ha ha! Amazing how nature has a way of knowing the full extent of things while humans, especially my three opponents, donâ€™t know the difference between night and day.

â€JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE TO GO BACK IN THE WATERâ€ â€“ Tagline from Jaws 2

Pinky: Like the tagline of the 1978 movie Jaws 2, Eyesnsane, Ramone, and Keys, have realized that â€œjust when you thought it was safe to go back into the wrestling ringâ€ they get assigned to wrestle against James Tuscini again. You know what James? Iâ€™m wondering how people like Kris, Jake Sullivan, and Samuel McPherson feel seeing you in this Internet Championship match and they know you are going to win. What are your thoughts?

James: Rage, who now goes by the name Jake Sullivan, is the only one you mentioned who can properly comment on my upcoming reign as Internet Champion. He held the Internet Championship twice. Thatâ€™s not an easy accomplishment and he knows how demanding it is to be a defending Champion. Iâ€™m sure Jake is stewing right now because he sees me in the match, against three weak opponents, and he is probably complaining that if he was in the match I wouldnâ€™t stand a chance. Is that what youâ€™re thinking Jake? Who defeated you by pinfall? ME! So donâ€™t even go there. If you can earn your way back into contention then after I serve up Samuel McPhersonâ€™s ass on a silver platter by defeating him and retaining the Internet Championship Iâ€™ll gladly give you a shot at my Title Belt. If you want to think that my pinfall win against you was a mistake and a fluke then try me. When I defeat you again by pinfall or submission you will become a believer.

b>Pinky: Samuel McPherson?

James: Not sure what came up that caused Samuel McPherson to not be able to show for this Internet Championship match. Deep down inside I feel after being eliminated early in the Six Man Battle Royal for the World Championship he felt deflated and humiliated and he didnâ€™t want to be back public this soon. Whenever Samuel is ready for a shot at my Internet Championship I give Management my authority to assign him to a match. I want McPherson one-on-one so I can prove to him, as I proved to Rage, that Iâ€™m not a wrestler you take lightly.

Pinky: Iâ€™m sure Kris is going insane as he knows you are about to become Internet Champion after he disrespected you and told you how worthless you were to be in the Roulette Division. What do you think is going on here?

James: Nothing more than extreme jealousy and as Iâ€™ve always said jealousy is an evil taskmaster. What Kris needs to do is focus on defending the Roulette Championship. If Kris continues to put his focus on me and my Internet Championship reign he takes his focus off his challengers for the Roulette Championship. If he does that he will lose the Roulette Title Belt and fail to pass me up as the 3rd longest-reigning Roulette Champion. To be honest I donâ€™t want to see that happen to Kris. I respect his work in the ring and it would be an honor to congratulate him on taking over my 3rd longest-reigning Roulette Champion spot.

Pinky: Let me throw you a curve ball James. I want to know what you think Dmitri is thinking since he came up short in the World Heavyweight Championship match and now he sees you with an overwhelming advantage in the Internet Championship match with a 99.9 percent chance of winning the Internet Title Belt.

James: I hate to address Dmitri on this subject but since you asked me, on live television, Iâ€™ll grant you a response. I feel Dmitri is disappointed he lost the World Heavyweight Championship match to Calvin Harris. I feel Dmitri is also happy to know that at Violent Conduct IV he will face Calvin Harris for the World Heavyweight Title Belt. However I also feel Dmitri might be jealous of my accomplishments as there have been several times where I obtained a Title Belt and he didnâ€™t. This Sunday night is going to be one of those times. Iâ€™ll earn the Internet Championship and Dmitri will be waiting for Violent Conduct IV for his chance to dethrone Calvin Harris. Jealousy like that can eat up a person and I donâ€™t want to see that happen to Dmitri.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Pinky: We come to the point in todayâ€™s presentation where closing comments are in place. I wish to make my closing comments and then Iâ€™ll turn the time over to James to dish out his closing comments to Eyesnsane, Steve Ramone, and Ryan Keys. You all make fun of me and call me a fake and wannabe Mafia thug. Guess what? I am a member of the Italian Mafia and they have placed me in a trial status. Theyâ€™ve sent me on numerous minor errands and Iâ€™ve completed all of them properly. There is only one errand left and if I complete it successfully they will transfer me from trial status to full-time member of the Italian Mafia. That errand, mission, contract, hit, whatever you want to call it is that I either complete a hit the Italian Mafia sends me on or I take on and defeat people who physically attack me. I donâ€™t want to do an assignment hit the Italian Mafia sends me on because that means Iâ€™m doing something they want me to do and it may not be something I want to do. However if people attack me then I have the right to defend myself. While defending myself against those attacks if I happen to bust some heads, break some arms, and break some legs, then Iâ€™ll have completed the assignment and Iâ€™ll be moved to full-time Italian Mafia member. So for those associated with Steve Ramone and Eyesnsane if your friends, stable mates, thugs, whatever you call them, try to interfere in the match to screw James out of his win, or if you attack me or James, Iâ€™ll go into full defense mode and *bleep* you up. Yes Iâ€™ll bust heads, break arms, and break legs, but it will be in self-defense and it will graduate me from part-time Italian Mafia to full-time Italian Mafia member. So if your friends do attack me or James and I defend myself and the Italian Mafia puts me in permanent status then once all your injuries heal Iâ€™ll gladly take you out for dinner to thank you for providing my final assignment for graduation to full-time Italian Mafia member. The time is yours now James.

James: Eyesnsane you are a joke of a wrestler. I realize you recently changed your affiliation with other wrestlers and you think this new association will help your career. Did it help your career in the Six Man Battle Royal for the World Heavyweight Championship at Climax Control 186? Nope! You were the first wrestler eliminated from that match. But do you realize your new associates, once they find out you suck, will kick you out of their organization? Sorry to have to run down the truth to you but you need to retire so youâ€™ll stop humiliating yourself by continuing to wrestle. Go into retirement. Maybe go into color commentary for wrestling matches. Please do us all a favor and do any line of work except wrestling!

Pinky: Nicely stated. Next victim.

James: Next victim is Steve Ramone. Ah, Steve, you never seem to disappoint me when it comes to making me laugh. Seriously you should retire from wrestling and go into stand-up comedy because the things you spew forth from your mouth will make the audience laugh so hard they will pass out from exhaustion! You make bold claims that you are better than me and yet you have lost to me more than you have defeated me. Not sure how you figure that losing more matches to me than youâ€™ve won equates into you being better than me. You know I like your wrestling career and I admire your work but recently your performance has been failing and Iâ€™m losing my respect for you. Steve if you want to boldly walk into this match claiming that you have defeated me more times than Iâ€™ve defeated you then by all means do so. Just because you spew forth lies doesnâ€™t make them true. The fact is, and always will be, that Iâ€™ve defeated you more than youâ€™ve defeated me. That scenario will play out again this Sunday when I defeat you again.

Pinky: Last victim James.

James: My last victim is Ryan Keys. Poor, weak, deluded, 0-4 record against me, Ryan Keys. You already know youâ€™re not going to win this match Ryan. You already know Iâ€™ll win the match and be the next Sin City Wrestling Internet Champion. However where you differ from Steve Ramone and Eyesnsane is that you actually have fairly good wrestling abilities. You also donâ€™t brag and boast how well youâ€™ve done against me because youâ€™re honest like me and you acknowledge that Iâ€™m better than you. Of the three wrestlers in the match I feel you will give me the best performance. That doesnâ€™t mean you are going to win. It simply means that you should perform better than Eyesnsane and Steve Ramone. I hope you can rebound from this loss Iâ€™m gonna give you this Sunday. I hope going 0-5 against me will not destroy your wrestling career but will be the motivation lesson you need to improve. You have possibilities in the sport of wrestling just not the possibility of defeating me. Donâ€™t let jealousy tear your apart. Be a real man and when you lose again to me please acknowledge that loss, acknowledge my superiority over you, and acknowledge that you have to step up your game.

Pinky: Well said James!

James: My final comment for today is a parody of a nursery rhyme. Everyone knows the nursery rhyme Humpty Dumpty. Here is my parody of Humpty Dumpty as it refers to my match on Sunday against Eyesnsane, Ryan Keys, and Steve Ramone. The three stooges sat on a wall...the three stooges had a great fall...all the Kingâ€™s horses and all the Kingâ€™s men...couldnâ€™t put the three stooges back together again.

Pinky: Thanks for joining us today. Please make sure you tune in for Climax Control 187 where James will make history by obtaining the Internet Championship. Starting this Sunday you are going to see James begin his quest to become the longest reigning Internet Champion. You need to deal with it because it is fact.

Pinky del Ferrando thanks the cameraman for his time to air their segment. He informs the cameraman they are done with their comments and he can cut his camera feed. The cameraman calls into the Network and they cut the camera feet and launch into a commercial break.

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