Chapter 37: Drinking to remember

Feelings are horrible. They are a double edged sword causing the human race to do great things but also inherently stupid things. Great works of art like paintings and poetry as well as songs are mixed in with moronic acts of emotional explosion. And as much as I want to disconnect myself from that I have had to admit…

I’m no fucking different.

As much as I want to be, as much as I want to pretend, I’m. It. I’m not different from any of you. I have feelings, thoughts and needs. And Finn had decided to take everything I know everything I felt. And shatter it. Going from a place of awkward but confortable communication and cooperation to having it out and pushing me away, only to tell me he was scared of losing me.

Losing me. Those words cut me deep but also gave me a warm feeling I never dreamed I would get back. It left me confused and scared. A revelation I hated. And now I found myself back to where I was a few days ago. At home.

With a bottle in front of me.

But this was different. Going from drinking to forget. To numb myself, to break myself, Toto this. Drinking to calm myself and think more clearly. My hand wrapped around the glass, filled with straight vodka this time. No ice, just burning clear potato sweat.

My phone buzzed. I knew who it was. Kallie, reminding me about dinner again. Take two of something we tried last week, when I instead passed out on my bed like a pathetic child. This time I was ready. Finishing my one and only drink and walked toward the door, opening it to let them in. Tasmin laughed as she stepped in but her demeanour changed as she saw the glass on the kitchen bench

”Again Kay?” I tilted my head and raised an eyebrow. I was dressed in a tight white dress, my hair done, makeup done. She quickly realised her mistake and shook her head. ”Are we going to get to dinner this time?” Kallie stood behind her with a small smile. I simply gave a nod and laughed.

”yes! I am so hungry!”

I closed my eyes and sighed heavily. Part of me wanted to throttle her. She told Finn where I loved. Told him where to find me. And on one hand that annoyed me to know ends. But on the other….i was too proud to tell him and I was glad she did. ”Kallie…” she raised an eyebrow and looked over at me as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. ”is there something you would like to share with the class?”

She went silent and blinked a few times ”No?” I stared a hole right through her. Staying silent and slowly folding my arms over my chest. Her eye twitched, she swallowed. And then, predictably, she broke. ”OHMYGODIMSORRYBUTIGOTAWHOLEBOXOFAPHMAUS”

Tasmin looked at me and then back to Kallie. I sighed heavily and looked at Tasmin matching her gaze ”I know that was English. But what is she talking about?”

”A small box with a plushie kitten”

”Yeah that tracks…”

Kallie looked down at her feet, tracing circles with her toe looking dejected. Almost wimpering. ”I’m really sorry.

”Thank you for doing it…” She looked up, caught off guard by my thanking her. Tasmin raised an eyebrow looking surprised. I smiled and gave her a nod stepping forward and tapping her on the shoulder ”You’re a good friend…I was too proud and arrogant…and petty…to give Finn my address….”

Tasmin smirked. ”You? Petty? Never.”

”Fuck off…”

Tasmin laughed and I shook my head before walking over to grab my purse. Kallie cleared her throat and smiled ”Did….things go alright?” I turned and gave a nod. They did. But I didn’t want to go into specifics. I moved toward the door and opened it before stopping in my tracks with a sneer.

”The fuck are YOU doing here?”

Kallie and Tasmin stopped dead behind me wondering the same thing I was. Aaron asphyxia, Finns ex-wife, trainer at Wolfslair and general pain in my ass stood before me with a giant shit eating grin on her face. She walked in, shoving passed me.

”Sure come on in…”

”I planned too.” I sneered and folded my arms. Aaron moved through my apartment looking around with an almost impressed tut under her breath.

I stepped forward and shook my head ”I’d give you the grand tour but we were about to go out to dinner. So if you’d kindly fuck off..”

”Oh Kayla. Charming as always.”

I growled. I couldn’t help it. Her presence just made me angry. As much as I respected her attitude and skills as a trainer I hated this butch as a human being. Kallie slowly shuffled over to me, whispering low so Aaron wouldn’t hear. ”I didn’t tell her.”

”I know Kallie. Don’t worry. I’m well aware that this ratchet cunt sniffed me out on her own.”

Kallies eyes widened she had never seen anyone speak about Aaron like this. And I could tell. Well aside from Finn of course. ”Nice place Kayla. I think Finn would approve” My nostrils flared she chuckled and shook her head as Tasmin just say back, bemused. And Kallie continued looking awkward at the entire situation unfolding. ”Not that he’s been in here though…right?”

”What is it you want Aaron?”

She moved into the living room, turning and flipping down on my couch, throwing one leg over the other and relaxing. ”I want to help you”

I laughed and shook my head stepping forward toward her. ”Help me?…is this a prank? I don’t do jokes so..”

”Just shut up for a second….i know you and Finn have been….going through a rough patch.” I ground my teeth together. She smirked. ”You need to make it all better.”

”Make it all better? How? Hmm? We talked. I know he doesn’t want to lose me. I know we are more than just “tag partners.” I folded my arms over my chest again. Pushing my tits together deliberately. Since Aaron is severely lacking in that department.

Aaron narrowed her eyes. Knowing exactly what I was doing before leaning in close. ”My god you and Finn are so alike it’s scary. Neither of you morons can get out of your own way to just be happy. All because of pride.”

I moved closer. My movements methodical and slow. Tasmin walked over behind me. Opening my pantry door and taking a bag of Doritos before sitting on my kitchen bench offering some to Kallie. ”Nooo we’re going to dinner soon”

”Are we though”

Kallie thought for a moment and turned, sitting next to Tasmin and plunging her hand into the bag. ”Get out of our own way? What would you know about it?”

Aaron sneered, throwing her arms over the back of my couch like some kind of supervillain about to tell me her grand plan. ”I know you spent months throwing yourself at him. Then on the night where you and he could have had your moment you did nothing” I ground my teeth together and took a deep breath in. It was still a sore spot.

”Right. My big mistake was not fucking him. I should have learned from you and not only not fucked him but instead fuck everyone else.”

There was silence. An awkward silence where you could hear a pin drop. Only broken by a sharp inhale from Kallie as she covered her mouth in shock.tasmin on the other hand stopped with a Dorito right in front of her mouth. Aaron pushed up from my couch and stepped closer. She wasn’t angry, or frustrated. She was annoyed.

”Look, Salem witch trials Barbie, I don’t have time to go into the intricate nature of the toxic relationship that he and I had.” she raised a finger and shook her head. ”But he is an idiot. As smart and quick witted as he can be he is a barely functioning man child when it comes to love..”

I swallowed hard and stepped back ”Love?”

Aaron threw her hands in the air with an exasperated sigh. ”Yes! You idiot. He fucking loves you. A fucking blind man in China can see it…” she loved passed me and headed toward the door. ”He just needs a little push…..so think about that…and enjoy your dinner…”

She grabbed the handle and I cleared my throat. ”Aaron….thanks…” she stopped and scoffed, shaking her head  ”Try not to fall on any random dick on your way home..” I heard the door close. I was simultaneously more confused than ever. But, with clarity. I know, I’m a contradiction….

Dominance

”What is dominance?"

Kayla slowly smiles, showing her pearly white teeth and her raised eyebrows. Waiting for an answer that will never come.

”It’s a question that I’ve asked for. And something that I feel needs to be examined. At the risk of repeating myself like Giuliana does whatever she cut 50,000 promos and then decides to use the same thing over and over again I wanted to have a closer look at what it is to be dominant. Since she loves to throw that word around with her undefeated streak and try and act like it means something. So I’ll ask him what is dominance?”

She steps forward, her hands behind her back as she takes a power stance.

”I believe that dominance in professional wrestling is something you just see. As in you know it when you see it. But you can’t just be told what it is. When it comes to the bombshells division, you know that someone like Mikah was dominant. Same as Alicia Lukas and Amber Ryan. You don’t need to be told you can just see from their actions and what they did that they were the dominant forces in their time.”

“And you know that they had in common? They didn’t celebrate kicking cans. They didn’t celebrate the small victories over people who didn’t even belong in the ring with them. They strive to be the best and they want challenges day and day out. They asked to face the best and they tried to make them sure that the company brought in the best of face them. shit, Alicia Lukas talked Roxi Johnson into coming back.”

“Is that what Julianna did?”

“I’ll admit that eventually she came after me. But it took so much poking and prodding on my end to get her to make that challenge. It took Me calling her out in promos on television before my matches and mentioning her on Twitter before she would eventually make the cold come after me because I got her skin. she never looked at peoples records and wanted to challenge. She just wanted the gold belt because it was shiny.”

Kayla scoffs and shakes her head.

”Is that what being a champion is? Is that what being the top champion is? Pretending that you’re the best by having an undefeated streak littered with people who shouldn’t even be in the ring with you? Having a championship reign that is being punctuated by kicking around people who shouldn’t be allowed to be in the same room as the championship let alone have title matches? Is that the kind of champion you want to be”

“That damn sure isn’t the kind of champion I want to be. So before I get into the stupidity that you said last week let me just be very clear and frank on this. Because I feel like I need to make a mission statement when it comes to that championship and what I will do if I become the world bombshell champion. I will go and call out the best this company has to offer. I will go out of my way to go after people who are in other companies who I know can shake things up around here and be the best.”

“I will welcome the challenges from everyone. Anyone who actually has a good record around here who I think could beat me for that championship.”

“Cause what is the point of facing people I know I can beat? What would be the point in going after people who are beneath Me? People who wouldn’t be able to win if I had one arm tied behind my back had a broken leg. There is no point. Being a champion means pushing yourself and trying to elevate that championship higher as well as making yourself look better and bringing the division up to meet you. That is not something that Juliana DiMaria has done and to be frank..”

“She should be ashamed of herself.”

A small sneer comes across Kaylas face before she clears her throat an continues.

”But then again what do I expect from someone like you? You actually stood there and said that I take everything as a slight against me. Well, that isn’t exactly true. Part of Me can see why you have that impression. I take everything you do as a slight against me. Because you are everything that is wrong with this business and everything that is wrong with people getting championships when they are simply not ready. And trust me on this Juliana you will not ready. you fell into your position is champion by share happenstance. Almost like Rainman counting cards at the casino you somehow got Delta hand that was winning. And we haven’t been able to stop hearing about it since.”

“I look at you and see someone who is in a position that they don’t deserve to be in. You are holding a championship that has such an amazing lineage. A lineage of people who deserved it and some who didn’t. And instead of taking a stand and trying to be someone who deserves to have that championship you have floundered and failed and done nothing to prove any of us wrong. So when I see someone like you Walts into this company, have an undefeated record against people who shouldn’t even be challenging you, and then defending that said championship against people who don’t deserve it? your damn I take that as a slight. I take your existence as a slight. Because I am better than you.”

“I’m better than hell of a lot of other people who you have faced.”

“And as far as your little comment about me being the only one to deserve it in my mind? No. There are others who probably could’ve jumped up and had a shot at you. Bella Madison as much as I think that she rides on her family name a little too much and isn’t the woman who she needs to be still deserved that championship match against you. you could’ve called out any number of legends, you could’ve called out anyone on the roster. But you just let them handpick a bonus to shove it you who didn’t deserve it. So in this moment at this time with everyone else who is currently not in or injured, I am the one who deserves a match against you against you.”

Kayla shakes her head, getting more agitated as the moments go by.

”And the sheer arrogance in some of your statements makes me look like one of the most selfless people on the roster. And that is taking some doing because I am nothing if not arrogant. But, as far as your little rant about how I’m apparently some kind of delicate flower? I wouldn’t exactly call it that. You know what I am Juliana? I am passionate. I love professional wrestling. I might not like or love a lot of other things in my life but this business is something that I do Love and I will do everything to protect.”

“This business is somewhere that you can rise up from nothing and become something off the sweat of your own back. You are only limited by your imagination and you can do whatever it takes to get ahead. That is what this business is. This business is something that can take a little scared girl from Norwich England and make them into a star. So you sit there and call me a delicate flower because of how angry or frustrated I get about some of this? it’s passion. And if you don’t have a passion for this business that I do and you don’t want to face the best and be the best? Then drop the title and get the fuck out.”

“Leave. And don’t come back.”

“See that seems to be something else that you were wrong about. You called me a keyboard warrior. Implying that all I did was type about you on Twitter. Either that or you seem to think that I write my promos out instead of standing in front of the camera and  say them. Which I also did and called you out every single week. but what would you like me to do to get your attention?”

Kayla strokes and steps back, folding her arms over her chest.

”there is plenty that I could’ve done. I could’ve come out and distracted you during a match. I could’ve stood at the top of the rampway and just watched you. But that would’ve interfered in a title defence. And then someone else who was even less deserving would’ve held that championship. so what else could I have done? I could’ve waited until a match was over and attacked you. Made a statement by beating you into the ground and standing above you and I could’ve held that championship high..”

“But, that would have been seen as a shortcut..”

“I could have waited until I match was over and then come out with a microphone and cut a saving promo on you out there. But I had already said so much in other promos leading up to matches that I had won. It would’ve seemed like overkill. No Juliana, I needed you to be the one to open your eyes and your mouth. you were the one standing there talking about how this division needed to raise up when you weren’t doing a goddamn thing to help it..”

“Your sermonizing only goes so far. You stand up on your soapbox and you seem to think that you can lay waste the entire division verbally and tell us all that we need to step up yet when someone does you then criticize how they do it. I came at you the best way I knew how by pointing my finger in your chest and telling you over and over again that you were failure until you finally acknowledged me and decided that I was worth your fucking time.”

“And now. Here we are.”

“This main event that you wanted so much is within your grasp. The only problem is that you are now facing someone who is going to snatch it from you. I already told you why I want to be a better champion in the new and how I will go about it. But all I’ve heard from you is excuses. All I heard from you last week in your promo was the same bullshit that you have thrown at me over and over again on the show. You haven’t said anything you haven’t come up with a way that you are going to be a better champion. You haven’t come up with a way to make the division matter any more than it already has you? You have done nothing but fail and you are going to continue to fail because your attitude will not allow you to see the forest through the goddamn trees.”

Kayla takes a long deep breath and calms down before laughing and shaking her head.

”I don’t no what is going to happen. I really don’t. You and I are going to get in the ring in the main event of the biggest show of the year. One of us is going to walk out with that championship and the other one is going to have to deal with failure. people know what happens when I lose. It happened before. I’ve been defeated and watch someone walk away with my championship. And all it did was make me stronger. All it did was make me come back after that same person with even more anger and venom and take that championship back.”

“I’ve been beaten.”

“I’ve felt defeat here.”

“You haven’t.”

“So how will you deal with it. I beat you and I take that championship I go onto keep on defending it and I will make that championship mean more. But what about you? You lose and then what? Your entire identity has been wrapped around this myth that you are undefeatable. This self perpetuated bullshit where you like to go out there and Reminders so if you’re zero loss record. You fell into a championship, congratulations, you have a great win loss record based off of facing people who are not the best. but when you make that your entire fucking personality? Then when it all comes crashing down and you’ve lost you have nothing else.”

“You need to come to terms with that. You need to come to terms with the fact that I am out to take everything from you. I will take that championship, I will take your undefeated record, and I’m going to take your entire personality, every single piece of being that you are that you were perpetrated to the world and shown yourself to be, I am going to take it all from you and I’m going to leave you with nothing. then, we will see what kind of woman you are.”

“If you lose then I’m going to sit and wait, I’m going to wait and see if you pull yourself back up and come right after me with the same venom that I go after everyone else with. Because this is a warning. Giuliana, if you beat me and you don’t do a good enough job to end Me? I’m going to come back after you better better and stronger than ever because this will not be over. I will hound you with everything that I am. So you better make damn sure if you were gonna come at me you better not miss. And if I beat you?”

“You better grow some balls and come at me the exact same way. Do you want to prove that you’re a champion? Do you want to prove that you’re different from everybody else? That’s how you do it. But until that moment you are still nothing but a scared little girl hiding from the best in this business.”

Kayla shakes her head and sighs heavily. Her eyes trail down and then over to the mixed tag team championship sitting on the table, she then looks back toward the camera with an arrogant smirk etched on her red painted lips.

Chapter 35: More Questions Than Answers

One of the biggest problems having people who care about you is that they want to know everything about what is going on in your life. There are very few people who feel that way towards me. I’m not really what you would call a likable person, and I accept that. I have a handful of friends, And while I’m grateful to have them, I’m not entirely certain the feelings that we have are mutual. I would be more than happy to be left alone to just enjoy my life. Without them. But for some odd reason, there are a few certain individuals who can look past all of my anger, issues, and narcissism and see someone worth knowing.

Among these people are members of my family. I have an interesting relationship with my brother Jax. He and I never really got along. Not until he came back into our lives after he disappeared, and I saw what he went through. For years, I blamed him for leaving, but now there is quiet respect. Then there’s my oldest sister, Amber. A woman who I was constantly trying to follow in her footsteps, and live up to the reputation that she had earned as a professional wrestler. A woman who shadow that I had felt for the longest time.

But out of my siblings, the one who was closest to Me was Tasman. The baby of the family. The youngest, and in some ways, the black sheep. Out of the four of us, she was the one who had the nicest upbringing. Coming into her own, and having memories after our father had passed away. She had been raised without that dark cloud hanging over her head. As such she only heard stories of what myself, Amber, and Jax had to go through.

However, Jax and Amber knew that there would be certain things in our lives and the amount of patience and quiet we needed. To respect each other’s privacy. If something was going on in Amber‘s life, I was not going to press and prod. I was going to let her come to me with any problems that she had if she wanted to talk. And she had that same respect for Me. Tasmin, however, didn’t have that same respect.

She wanted to know what was going on, she wanted to know what everyone’s deep and dark secrets were. And she knew that I was hiding something. She knew I was hiding some kind of pain deep down inside, an anger that wasn’t there before, she could see a plane as day. And what made it worse was that I knew she could. I felt it, her eyes moving across the room and coming to a stop on Me. Studying Me, looking for any subtle movements that would clue her into what exactly was going through my mind

My upper right lip twitched, and my nostrils flared as I tried to keep myself from exploding at her and asking her just what it was. She was looking at. I took a deep breath and cracked my neck. Tasman moved closer, placing her hands on the black marble of my kitchen countertop, and leaning forward with a tilt of her head. I swallowed, closing my eyes to calm myself, so I would not yell right in her face, Tasman chuckled and shook her head, stepping back and folding her arms over her chest

”So, did you talk to Finn? Get all this nonsense sorted out?” I stayed silent, ignoring her. I really should have known better, she was never going to take that as an answer, and she was not going to let Me get away with it. ”Hmmm? Did you ask about that Kei guy? What was going on? Did you find out what you wanted to know?”

My eye twitched. Tasmin leaned in and got even closer. Her way to let me know she wasn’t going to let this go. ”No. I got nothing out of him. It is probably nothing anyway.”

Tasmin put her finger to her lips and made a small “tut” sound. She sneered and shook her head. She was having none of it. ”Do I look stupid to you Kay?” Before I could answer in my usual bitchy way she conti her. Ruining my fun. ”I can tell by the look on your face there was more than that. Spill the tea!” She folded her arms. Clearly, she was determined and that just annoyed me even more.

I huffed and rolled my eyes. ”Let's just say we had a difference in philosophy.” Tasmin blinked a few times. That answer didn’t satisfy her. She just continued to stare at me. Pushing further and deeper. I growled and threw my arms in the air unable to hold back the anger and frustration that was bubbling up about this entire situation. ”That man just refuses to listen to reason or my fucking opinion.”

Tasmins ears perked up. ”Oh? Opinion about what?

She was baiting me. She knew it. I knew it. But fuck it. In for a penny in for a pound. ”I know he’s hiding something Tas. That Kei is bad news and he gives me this sick messed up feeling I haven’t felt since I was with the Romani.” Tasmin raised an eyebrow. She had heard about it all third hand. In fact, the closest she came was one time that Jace saw her. The only time that he did. ”He’s playing a dangerous game here. I basically told him I was sorry for fucking caring.”

Her eyes widened she raised her hands to her mouth with a sharp inhale of surprise. ”Awwww you care about him!!!” She missed the point. Completely missed it. I blinked a few times and closed my eyes. She zeroed in on the one point I didn’t want her to or need her to. ”About time you admitted it…”

”I care because we’re tag team champions Tasmin, I need him to stay on top of his game..”

”Ya huh…bullshit.” She scoffed and shook her head, fluttering her hand with a dismissive arrogance. ”You don’t have that kind of tone in your voice if it’s professional care. It’s personal…” My nostrils flared, I closed my eyes again and took a deep breath before backing up and turning to Tasmin.

”Fuck off.”

Tasmin squealed and spun around with laughter. ”Ha! See!. You care about him, you keep trying to hide it but here you are…you see him in trouble, you’re worried, it’s cute…” My annoyance was palpable. My hands clasped into fists and I stayed staring ahead. I was angry, furious, frustrated. And it was for one simple reason…

She was right….

I did care about him. Very much so. Seeing him in pain, angry, or in trouble or hurt. I hated it. I growled under my breath and folded my arms over my chest closing myself off. ”So, what do I do?” I waited for an answer, stepping forward and throwing my hands in the air. ”Exactly. You don’t have an answer. I don’t know what he’s going through, he won’t tell me and if I care then I’m going to go fucking insane…”

I knew what was about to happen, I felt it, I folded my arms over my chest and I pouted. Yes, me, I pouted. But pfft, it’s only me and Tasmin, no one else knows.

”So…..you’re not going to admit it?”

” ….I hate you…”

Misdirection

”Last time you all saw me in a match I had my hand held high, the next time after that was standing toe to toe on the mic with Julianna DiMaria. Another victor as I verbally beat her down. But the last time you guys saw me in a non-in-ring role was the contract signing. And I hate that she got the better of me…”

Kayla growls, narrowing her eyes and trying to breathe

”But with a match of that magnitude looming on the horizon I’m sure most of you inbred, incel, incompetent idiots think I’ll lose focus on the mixed tag team titles. But you could not be further from the truth. But don’t get me wrong, I’m looking forward to that match, a chance to be the SCW bombshells champion…..”

“There is still so much work to be done with these tag titles I am not prepared to give them up. Even if I do have a huge match on the horizon I have never been someone to give in to pressure or crack. See Finn and I want to be the best mixed tag team champions ever. We want to overtake and be better than Wolfslair, Team Eggplant, Austin and Tempest, and of course London Underground.”

“You notice how I didn’t include Limitless in that little list?”

“You know why?”

“Cause they aren’t in the conversation for the best ever. But Finn and I are. From winning the titles to defending them against Miles and Alexandra, Ben and Samantha, and of course a rematch against Eiley and Oz, we have set the standard and will continue to do so.”

Kayla folds her arms over her chest, showing off her tattoos as she sneers and shakes her head.

”I am not going to let my aspirations to return to singles glory stop me from keeping my promises. My promise to make sure these tag team championships mean something. To return them to the glory that they have only had small sporadic moments in the past. We have had some great mixed tag team champions, but none of them have ever been able to get to the heights that they  deserve.”

“But why is that? One of the big reasons was the rule that if you were a mixed tag team champion, you could not go for singles gold. Now that that rule is dead buried where it should always have been, you will see a lot more people willing to come after these championships. which has made it all the more impressive that we have been able to hold onto them as long as we have. Turning back challenges of champions and former world champions who have been put together in teams..”

“So yes I will be going for that bombshell championship. And yes it will take some of my focus away from the mixed tag team championships. But not on days like today. Not on weeks like this week. Not when I have a defense looming.”

“So, now we get to a new defense. A few weeks after it should have happened. And all jokes aside about Miles Kasey and Carter I’m glad to see Carter has recovered and he is ready for this. It’s just too bad a talent like him is being weighed down by Ariana.”

Cute the classic eye-roll from Kayla as she remembered her matches against Ariana

”Now don’t get it twisted here. I’m not saying that Carter would be able to beat Finn and take that world championship. I’m not even saying that Carter is on the same level as Finn but what I am saying is that he would at least put up a fight, and he is at least someone who can have glory in SE as long as he actually tries. As long as he takes things seriously and steps up to the plate, the sky is the limit for a man like Carter. He is amazingly popular, flamboyant, charismatic, and so much more athletic than anyone gives him credit.”

“As well as being tough as nails. He took that beating from Austin like a champ.”

“I wish Carter had a halfway decent partner. Cause it isn’t fair that he’s being dragged down by Ariana. However, I don’t think Carter is ready for this. I don’t think he realizes just how sadistic Finn can be and how tough he is. Finn is our world champion. For a reason, he has had a sporadic time in this company that has always come out on top at is now two-time world champion. He’s one of the most dangerous men on the roster and one of the most dangerous human beings in this business. and he and I team together almost unstoppable, and Carter would’ve needed a partner with a damn”

“Too bad he has a partner that is worthless as the gum on my boot.”

She moves around and paces back and forth. An angry and annoyed look was etched on her face.

”The reason I can say that is simple. Ariana and I know each other very well. Don’t we Ariana? You and I have gone too many times in this company. And what has happened every single time? Tell me Ariana what has happened? Because I can tell you exactly what’s happened. I have beaten you. I beat you for my Internet championship time and time again, any time they put you against me. I have stood tall with my hand raised while you have laid on the mat crying like a little bitch because you couldn’t get the job done.”

“And now it’s even worse. Because now instead of you just letting yourself down or members of your family down you are going to let Carter down. This isn’t just about you anymore. It’s about him. The worst part about all of this is that you’ve been letting him down for a long time now. When you pick up your phone and put out a tweet or an ex or whatever they want to call it, you embarrass yourself and you embarrass your partner. The stupid things that you say in the stupid claims that you make always end up, coming back and biting in the ass”

“You don’t care though.”

“Cause you don’t care about anyone. You are selfish. You don’t care about Carter and you don’t care about how all of these things make him look. You don’t care that every single time you step in the ring with him, he has to drag you to victories while you drag him to losses. and this time you are going to lose the mixed tag team championships for him. Because that is all you know how to do. You drag everyone around you down because that’s the kind of person you are. Even now you want to be selfish when it comes to these championships.”

Kayla’s voice raises up into almost a yell

”These titles need champions that are going to push themselves further. These championships need champions who are going to be able to have one foot in the mixed tag team division at one foot in any singles division that they choose to be in. They need people who are good enough to shoulder that load and handle that pressure and sweetheart you are nowhere near that level. In fact, you aren’t even close.”

“You couldn’t handle playing second fiddle to me in the Internet division. You saw me rising up to become a champion that everyone looked up to and wanted to beat, and you decided to continuously throw, tantrums over and over again. And I couldn’t let you hold that championship. I couldn’t let you have it and say that you were the champion because all that would do Is devalue it.”

“So now, here we are. Another championship another division and another chance for you to make a complete asshole of yourself. But as I said this time, it’s not just yourself you’re dragging down it’s Carter as well.”

“So I can’t let someone like you hold these titles.”

“I will do everything in my power to keep them away from you. Anything that I have to do. Any trick that I need to pull, no matter how unbelievably brutal I need to be. I am going to do everything I can to stay one-half of the mixed tag champions. And then I will go on to do something that you can never dream of doing. I will become a double champion. But it all starts with beating you and Carter and you better believe that that’s what I’m going to do.”

Chapter 33:Truth

I had to see him.

As much as I wanted to deny that Jace’s words had no effect. I couldn’t lie to myself. As I left my home, the Home that I had made for myself after leaving Finn‘s apartment. So many months ago, I had a sense of dread well up in my stomach. It may be feel sick. So unbelievably ill that I almost had to stop and throw up more than once. but as I walked a few blocks over to get to Finn‘s apartment, I felt an odd sense of calm wash over Me.

An overwhelming need to make sure he was okay. If it was bullshit, then he would be fine, but if it wasn’t if he really was involved in something to do with the Yakuza, then I needed to be there for him. I needed to make sure that nothing was going to happen to him.

Because deep down as much as I didn’t want to admit it. Not just admit it to him or anyone else but also to myself. I cared for him. I cared for him more than a tag team partner. I cared for him more than a friend or an acquaintance. It was deeper than that.

And this had gone to affirm it.

We had our ups and downs, we had moments where we hated each other. But now with all of this happening, I knew that I wanted to be there for him. Just like he had been there for me all those months ago. Just like he had been there for me when Billie and I broke up and I needed a friend. Just like he had been there for me when I had hit rock bottom. He deserved that, he had earned that. And as I got closer and closer to his apartment, I knew that he was going to push me away. He was going to tell me anything that I wanted to hear just to get out of there.

The unfortunate part for him was that I knew him. I knew how to read his body language. I knew how to read how he thought through his eyes I know Finn Whelan. I know him better than he knows himself. And I was going to use that to my advantage. As much as I Was scared that he was going to push me away and shove me out the door I knew that he would also be just scared to do so. Because Finn was scared of losing me.

I know he is……

And I was scared of losing him.

My heart beat so fast and hard I thought my cheat was about to give in. My legs ached as I almost started to run. Run through the snowy, incredibly cold New York winter streets. All toward the place I used to call home. Through the lobby area where the doorman gave me a knowing nod and the receptionist smiled in her fake overly polite way. The elevator noise, the feeling, the smell. It all made me feel like I was coming home not visiting…

I fucking hate that.

The elevator stopped. I took in a deep breath as the doors opened, and I moved down the hallway. My feet carried me as fast as they could. I slowed down, tilting my head as I made a figure out in the dimly lit corridor. There was a man, dressed in some form of black suit. He leaned against the wall, his left leg propped up as he kept his left hand in his pocket. His eyes stared a hole through me. And then it hit me, he was standing next to Finn's front door.

I blinked a few times as I got closer, the man tilted his head with a small smirk coming across his lips but then quickly fading as fast as it appeared. [color-grey]”Kare wa ie ni imasen”[/color]

I swallowed and shook my head with a sigh. ”I’m sorry…I don’t understand.”

He chuckled and shook his head, pushing off the wall and folding his arms over his chest. ”Of course, English speaker. Why learn another language?”

My nostrils flared, I ground my teeth together and folded my arms over my chest. ”Orice ai spune, idiotule” I fired back, I could see the confusion on his face, but he tried to hide it. After a few moments, he gave a small nod. It might have been some form of appreciation.

”I can see why he likes you. However, Finnegan is not here.”

My heart sank, I swallowed hard as I felt this man's eyes moving up and down my body. Studying me, studying my body language, movements, and tone. ”Right. Well, thanks I guess…” I backed up and went to turn, but the man stepped forward.

”Are you not curious?” I stopped and looked over my shoulder with an eyebrow raised. ”I thought you would ask upon his whereabouts. Or at least who I am to him.” I stayed silent, turning to face him as he slightly bowed. ”My name is Kei. I don’t know how much Finnegan has told you about me.”

” Nothing. Never mentioned you and the name doesn’t ring a bell. Sorry….don’t know anything about you…”

I went to move away again, and again he stopped me. ”Yes, but I know much about you. Kayla Richards.” I swallowed hard and shook my head, turning to face him as he stepped forward, moving around me and looking me up and down. ”A fighter, a wrestler, a performer. Much like our mutual friend.” He paused and stopped his to my side, looking me up and down a little more. ”Black hair, pale skin, almost like porcelain. And covered in her own story.”

I scoffed and shook my head with a small growl under my breath. ”Really? That’s what you got? Stuff you can find out by watching an SCW show or by simply looking at me? Gotta say. Not that impressive.”

Kei tilted his head, narrowing his eyes and then laughing under a nod. ”You have fire inside you. Much as I would expect from someone who survived the Romani.” I froze, a chill running up and then back down my spine. My eyes widened as he moved around in front of me and put his hands behind his back. ”Does that impress you a little more? Little Raven”

I couldn’t hold it in. Normally I can, I can hold back emotions, shield them all behind a calm mask of blank expressions and subdued emotions, But not this time. Not with this. Not with those words and that name. ”How did you know that name?” He chuckled and shook his head. Not giving me any answer, any clue. Just silence and an arrogant look in his eye with a menacing edge. ”You think you scare me? Intimidate me?...make me uncomfortable?” I swallowed, pushing all the fear down. ”If you know that name, then you know what I’ve been through…”

”That is safe to say. Yes”

”So, you know that it takes a lot to rattle me. And hey, you got closer than most.” I growled and leaned toward him. ”But I am not some little girl you can terrify with a few words…now if you’ll excuse me if Finn isn’t here…then I don’t want to be either…” I backed away, Kei just watched me, not saying anything. Just staring as I walked toward the elevator. I stepped in, I watched the doors close and the second they did it all opened up. I pushed out a breath, my heart exploded and I started shaking.

The little Raven was trapped in a cage…

The final nail in the coffin.

”Sometimes, you take what you can get.”

Kayla growls under her breath, her arms folded over her shoulders as she’s dressed in a black leather jacket, a white halter top black skinny jeans, and Converse. Her long black hair was tied back in a bun with a few strands of hair floating down to frame her face.

”Did Finn and I retain our titles the way we wanted to? Of course not. Alexander Raven sticking his fucking nose in our business has done nothing but piss me off. And if I could I’d slap the taste out of his mouth and tell him so. But, in the end, Finn and I are still the mixed tag team champions and he has a shot at becoming the SCW world heavyweight champion against Goth. Now, I’m happy for my partner. I am, don’t get it twisted. But Finn, as a current mixed champion and former Roulette and World champion deserves this spot. However…”

“I too am a former champion and current champion.l I am a three-time Internet champion and I have one of the best records in this company, ever. Hell, I have one of the best win percentages in this goddamn industry. When I go on television, whether that is in a match on climax control, or I pick up a microphone, or I appear on a supercard, it doesn’t matter. Kayla goddamn Richards makes money for this company, hand over goddamn fist.”

“I have beaten hall of fame caliber names, stars of yesteryear and beyond, I have beaten the “best” this company has to offer and I have held titles for record reigns and yet as we head into My bloody valentine, what do I have? What do I see?”

“I see undeserving people getting opportunities that should be mine. And I get handed…nothing…”

“NOTHING.”

Kayla puts emphasis on the word, shaking her head and grabbing the mixed tag team championship with a smirk, throwing it over her shoulder and letting her thumb rest on the nameplate drawing attention to it.

”See, I don’t get things handed to me, I have always earned them. But now it seems like I can’t even EARN a shot at advancing this company. The roulette title, a championship that is nothing but a joke of a sideshow is being contested by the has been champion and a no-name wannabe yet still somehow has higher booking and more promotion than me stepping in the ring. But the only solace I have in this is seeing that the Internet championship, a title I helped make relevant is being contested in a fatal fourway…like the prize, it has always been.”

“However, where am I?”

“Am I in a match where I can earn a shot at the Bombshells championship against one of the best in this company?”

“No…”

“Is the woman that is facing our champion better than me in any way, shape, or form? Justifying this semi-main event?”

She chuckles. “No.”

Kayla flippantly flicks her hand to the side, obviously angry and frustrated.

”Instead we have to watch Julianna DiMaria embarrass Alexandra Calaway and Julianna not even break a sweat. And hey, I don’t want you to get confused, I dislike Juliana but she is the champion for a reason and Alexandra isn’t on her level, she isn’t in her league. But, you know who is? Me. I am. I am a goddamn main event star and instead of being in a main event, instead of facing the champion since I am the goddamn best right now I’m facing Seleana Zdunich.”

“Really?”

“I think there was some kind of weird swingers party that I wasn’t invited to and Julianna and I seem to have switched dance partners. Alexandra Calaway and Seleana Zdunich should be facing each other in a dark match before the show begins instead of one of them facing me and the other being in a championship match. So that is what I am dealing with. And I get it, I do. Seleana wants to try and claw back some of the relevancy she had been slowly sucking out of Crystal for the last five years. But she’s not going to get that from me.”

“See, Sel, I understand you have a past. I do. I understand you have had some success here. Being a former Bombshells world champion and roulette champion. You get to say that Sel, and hey, that’s great. But if anyone actually looks at your career people can’t help but laugh.”

“Your world title reign was laughable and is the definition of the word “fluke”. And in five years you’ve had ample opportunities to prove everyone wrong. To step up and win that title again and all you could muster, all you could do is win the roulette title…and even that was over three years ago…Over five years and no redemption, no career growth, just regression and living off of your personal relationships and past glory…”

She scoffs and rolls her eyes.

”Par for the course really. It’s the same trick that Sam Marlowe, Mercedes Vargas, and even your wife has done. And hey I’m old friends with Crystal. She and I go way back. She has known me and both my sisters for almost a decade. She knew me when I was an 18-year-old tattooless kid. And between you and me Sel…I think she’s always had a bit of a crush on me…but, she was never my type, and I was clearly never hers. Since I can string a sentence together and have an IQ higher than my shoe size…”

“And I don’t lose to people like Bea Barnhart…”

“And yes, I had to double-check that. I had to rewatch that match over and over again trying to find some kind of reason why. But in the end, I came up blank, and then. Well. I got angry.”

“I got angry because when I saw I was facing you I realized how little this co company cares about me. I have subverted expectations every single time I have stepped in an SCW ring. I have been one of the best champions that the Internet title ever had and have made these mixed tag titles relevant. Yet instead of being rewarded for my efforts and being positioned as the FUCKING STAR I am…”

“I was given you Seleana. A woman who hasn’t been relevant in years and who, as I said…just lost to fucking Bea Barnhart.”

Kayla tuts and shakes her head, clearly frustrated and flustered by all of this.

”But, this is a huge chance for you. Huge. See, I don’t get anything out of beating you. At all. And that’s what really pisses me off. I beat you and I get a little tick on my fucking record, I get to say I beat another former world champion. But, it means nothing. However…you beat me?”

“Well, here’s your ticket to relevance.”

“You beat me and suddenly Seleana Zdunich is back on everyone's minds. People will forgive and forget the fact you have been nothing but a massive failure for the last three years. And all you have to do to revive your pathetic, failing career is to beat me. Beat a current champion, beat one of the most dominant women on the roster right now. That’s it. No pressure right? Well, let's see how you do. Let's see if you can claw your way back out of the hell you put yourself in through your own actions. And it will be fitting that this happens at My Bloody Valentine”

Chapter 31: Gypsy Blues

There are certain notes in my past that I struck a line through. Notes and stories that, quite simply put, did not belong in my vocabulary of things I wanted to talk about, think about or relive whatsoever. But with every year that goes by, I can’t help but think of where I have been in relation to where I’m going. And where am I now? Well, home. Alone. As the new year rings in, gone was the happiness, real or fake, of Christmas. Now it was all about renewal. It was all about the same lie everyone always talks about.

New year….

New me…

That mantra ran through my head as I stood in my lounge room, staring out my large bay window and out into the city lights and to the ground. I couldn’t help but wonder to myself, how many of those people thought that? How many people looked into the mirror and lied to themselves? Fully believing that, as the new year dawned, they were somehow going to magically change everything about themselves and become a new person? I was willing to bet that it was well over half of them. But unfortunately, for everyone else in my life – whether that is my coworkers or my friends – it isn’t New Year, New Me. It’s New Year, but same old Kayla fucking Richards.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, cracking my neck as I tried to get my head back in the game. I had so much to plan, so much to work toward, and it all was going to start this week. In the morning I had to organize my flight to Colorado. I had to pack my gear, extra clothes, book an Uber to the airport. All the usual things I needed to do every single time I went to work.

I was ready, mentally and physically. While so many others gorged themselves on fattening food and became lazy, I went to the gym. I worked my ass off all in preparation to come back in even better shape than when I left.

I prepared to go to bed with just a few things left to do when there was a knock at the door. I raised an eyebrow, moving toward it while I looked at the small screen that connected to the camera above the door. My heart dropped and then suddenly raced. ”Jace?” I couldn’t believe my eyes or my own voice as his name escaped my lips. He knocked again and I jumped.

What did he want? Should I let him in? After everything?

I leaned my head against the wall next to the door and shook my head, realizing he wasn’t going to leave. And, against my better judgment, I opened the door. There he stood. 6’7, 280 pounds, still in amazing shape. His long blond hair tied back in a bun, his beard neatly trimmed and dressed in a black suit with a white shirt left open at the top. A very different look from what I remember. ”Kayla…..Se Poate?” He was testing me, trying to see if I still remembered Romani.

I turned to the side, letting him in, and as he walked past me my mind flashed. Right back to the last time I saw him.


5 Years Ago.

Blood dropped from my bottom lip, my body ached as I took a deep breath in, the bruises on my ribs making every breath a chore. A painful one. I winced again as I looked down at my knuckles, bloody and beaten. But this was my life after moving in with the gypsies. The compound they had bought and built in upstate New York. My sister Amber had married Renee, their heir apparent and prince, and at the same time I had been given to…him.

Jace Pleasant. The younger brother of Renee. Just as big, just as strong, just as impressive. But while Renee was held to the traditions of a Romani prince, that being honor through strength and domination, Jace was kinder. His actions spoke louder than words as he cared for me, and despite the fact I didn’t love him, I accepted my fate with him as long as I could.

Becoming a Femeie Soldat.

Every fight I had to prove my worth was a step toward respect. But, there was something in the air tonight. Something that felt wrong and different. I heard loud talking. I made out a few words in both English and Romani – something big had happened. There were footsteps, heavy ones, and they drew closer. Before I knew it, the door swung open. Jace slid down to one knee. ”Kay, we need to go….now.” He held out his hand, I raised my eyebrow and shook my head. I was sure that this was some kind of trick or test to make sure I was still loyal to the clan.

He groaned and reached down, pulling me up by force and taking my hand, leading me out the door and down the hallway. ”Where are going?...” He didn’t answer me, his head darting side to side as we watched others run toward the back of the compound. ”What happened?” Still nothing as we reached the gate. I ground my teeth together, sick of being kept in the dark, and planted my feet before yanking my arm from his grasp. [color]violet]“JACE!....what happened?”[/color]

He swallowed and shook his head before looking back at me. His eyes were different. Still very much him, but a deep sadness behind them; he looked down at me and shook his head. ”Renee he…he’s dead.” A shiver went through my body. The patriarch of the clan. Dead. ”Someone got to him, I don’t know who, but he’s gone Kayla.” A few moments passed, he seemed distracted by it all before snapping himself back to reality, in a smooth movement he turned and kicked the side door open.

”What are you doing?”

”Go…” I was confused, lost; I had no idea what to do. Jace looked down and for a moment questioned his own choices before again snapping back to reality. ”Go Kay…you don’t belong here, your sister has already gotten out. Go…please….” I took a deep breath and moved through the door before stopping and turning, kissing Jace on the cheek before backing up and running as fast as my legs could take me….


Present Day

”What are you doing here, Jace?”

He moved across the floor, moving down to the large white leather lounge sitting in front of my large crystal glass coffee table. Moving to the far left, sitting down and making himself at home, much to my disgust. ”An old friend can’t come to visit?”

I took in a sharp breath, my nostrils flaring as my arms folded over my chest. ”Let me rephrase…” I moved closer. ”What the fuck are you doing here?”

His cocky shit of a smile faded. He realized I wasn’t in the mood for bullshit. So now it seemed like he was ready to get down to business. He sat forward, but for now stayed seated. ”You really don’t know why I’m here?”

”I don’t even know how you found me…”

I had kept off most public directories, keeping myself somewhat under the radar in my personal life. Jace chuckled and shook his head. ”You think I had to find you?” He scoffed and shook his head, raising his eyebrows. ”We never lost you…We’ve always known where you are, Kayla. You’re a loose end. You know our inner workings, our hierarchy. You know a shit ton that could hurt us…so…we kept tabs on you…a job I took personally…”

I narrowed my eyes and shook my head, clicking my tongue before shrugging. ”So what? You’re just checking I haven’t been squealing on you? News flash, once I left I wanted nothing to do with that life. Same as Amber, we got out, we want to stay out…”

”Really?” He pushed his hands off his knees standing up and towering over me. Even as he stayed on the floor below the three steps leading up to my kitchen and doorway area. ”Then can you explain why your friend, fuckbuddy, tag partner, whatever he is, has ties to the Yakuza?”

There was awkward silence.

I fluttered my hand and rolled my eyes. ”The fuck are you on about? This is seriously what you’re going with?” Jace stepped back, now it was his turn to be confused. I threw my hands in the air and laughed to myself. ”I see what is going on here. You heard I was single, and have been for a while and you missed me. But the thing is, I want nothing to do with you….ever…end of story…so take your little stories…and leave.”

”You really don’t know do you?” He chuckled, confusion ran through me as he went from chuckling to flat out laughing at me. ”Seems like you don’t know Finn as well as you seem to believe. But, on a personal note. I have been monitoring your socials. And I know you’re single. But…I prefer my conquests to be a little…less used…” I ground my teeth together and he reached out, placing his right hand on my cheek, his pinky, ring finger, middle finger and pointer all stretching all the way around to the back of my neck and head while his thumb came to rest on my bottom lip.

”But, I still know what kind of man you want…” He smiled, my heart raced, his eyes then changed, his hand moved and grabbed my head and neck, hard. Pulling me closer as his voice lowered. ”I also remember what kind of man you need…and Finn ain’t it. But then again…you know me…” He released his grip stepping back with a coy smile before moving past me toward the door. ”Seems like you don’t know Finnegan….maybe you should ask him about his little Yakuza friend…and how he knows him…cause honestly…Finn and I aren’t that much different…”

He adjusted his suit, opening the door and disappearing. As the door closed, I let out the breath I had been holding, my chest heaving as I started to shake, moving fast I deadbolted the door and turned leaning my back against it, sliding down to the floor I felt tears well up from deep below. I was scared.

I don’t do scared….


Future

”I never get tired of saying “I told you so” and honestly. Why should I?”


Kayla sights heavily, sitting down on a large red rock in the middle of the famous Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs, her hands clasped together as she takes in a deep breath of fresh, cold air. Snow on the ground nearby, but far from the blizzard downpour down the mountains.

”I have made a career out of defying what people say about me or think about me. I have made a career at being able to laugh in the faces of people who think they know me but really know nothing. Do you all think that this company is my first foreign into being told this stupid crap? When I was younger, it was all about being in my sister’s shadow. Everyone knew Amber Richards. Everyone knew what she was capable of and everybody knew that she was a former champion. And who was I exactly? I was just her stupid little younger sister, trying to make a living.”

“Thing is, it’s always something new. It went from my sister to any of my friends that I happen to be hanging out with at the time. See, some people know this and some people don’t, but I’m actually very good friends with Crystal Hilton. I know she goes by many other names, and she has become the butt of so many jokes in this company, but the truth is that for the longest time I was accused of riding her coattails because of who she is and what she’s accomplished.”

“I know. Weird, right?”

“But now, well, now it’s all about Finn. Apparently, he is just carrying me towards championships and towards titles. Even though before he and I decided to team together, I was already winning championships and proving that I wasn’t the weakling of anything. People seem to forget that I’m a three time Internet Champion, and that I have beaten some of the best of the best in this company. And before I talk about the match that I have coming up just down the road at the Denver Coliseum, let me give you a few New Year’s resolutions for 2024. That seems to be what we all want to do. You’d like that right? To know what I have planned for the New Year? Because I can assure you, while being part of the greatest tag team that this company has ever seen is definitely on the top of that list, it is not the be all, end all of what I want to accomplish this year.”

Kayla gets to her feet, her black and white converse runners letting out a crunching noise as she stops on the rocky path below, turning and looking up at the impressive formations made from hundreds of thousands of years of water and wind erosion. She turns back toward the invisible fourth wall and sighs heavily.

”Keeping the Mixed Tag Team Championships out of the hands of teams that are undeserving is certainly something that both Finn and I want to do. That includes the former champions, one half of which I am being forced to face this coming week. But aside from that, aside from keeping these championships in highest esteem and high regard, making them a prize to be wanted and looked at as a true pinnacle in this business, I also want to expand my horizons when it comes to what I’ve done and what I’ve been able to do. Everyone knows the other disdain I have for the Roulette Championship so please for the love of God, Mark Ward, Christian Underwood, please do not put me in any matches for that piece of shit championship.”

“But what of the Internet championship? Do I want to become a record setting four time champion? Do I want to hold that championship again and break all previous records including defenses and days held? Maybe. But I also hate repeating myself. No, this year, Kayla Richards is shooting right to the top. I am going to go for that World Bombshells Championship. In between my duties as the Mixed Tag Team Champion along with Finn, I fully intend on doing everything I can to get my hands on that World Bombshell Championship. That means any opportunity I have in a singles match, well, I have to just knock it out of the park. But wait, I’m a tag team specialist now right?”

“How can I be expected to win the biggest singles championship in this company when the only way I can do anything is by being dragged along by Finnegan? At least that’s what my opponent this week would have you believe since that’s what Eiley seems to think. About everybody. She has one of those diseases where she believes herself to be far superior to everyone. And talks a lot of bullshit to make people convinced of it.”

Kayla laughs to herself, shaking her head and walking down the rocky path by herself.

”I get it though. I’ve known girls like you my entire life, Eiley. You’ve been told by people over and over again, just how good you are, and how good you are going to be. They’ve built your ego up. Your mentors, your partner in crime, all of your friends. They have all built you up to make your ego as big as it possibly can be. You’ve even had some success to actually show that they might not be wrong. Before you and Ollie became the Mixed Tag Team Champions, you did have some single success. You got in the ring with people, like Samantha Marlowe and Mercedes, Vargas, and had some success. You beat two Hall of Famers who were both world champions.”

“Then again…who hasn’t?”

She can’t help but shrug, waiting for laughter to her punchline that due to the sheer isolation won’t ever come.

”You and I are looked at as the future of this division. You have to be blind if you can’t see that. We are both looked at as the ones who are going to carry this division through the next five years as some of the older, more established stars either leave or end up getting burnt out. That’s what they’re banking on. That’s why this match has been billed the way it has.”

“Eiley versus Kayla Richards.”

“The heat and hatred we have.”

“If there is heat between us, then it is definitely one-sided. You see, Ei, I don’t care about you enough to hate you. But there seems to be some form of belief that there is hatred there. If you hate me, then that’s on you. I greatly dislike your attitude, and I think you have a massive problem. And I get that seems rich coming from someone like me. I’m arrogant, I’m brash, I’m insulting, I’m a bitch – I get it. But that arrogance and ego I have earned years of blood, sweat, and tears, and through being able to beat everyone who they put in the ring with me at one point or another. If I’m beaten by someone, I get my win back – that is just who I am and what I do and what I’m about..”

She stops turning and shrugging.

”You’re too arrogant and self righteous to ever admit you’re wrong. And the worst part, Eiley, is that it’s all there, plain as day for the world to see why you and Oliver lost to us. And it has nothing. NOTHING to do with any perceived carrying on Finn’s part. No, I can show you with proof, Eiley, why you and your boy toy failed TWICE against us.”

“Look at what hapopned when this match was announced. You and I performing on the first Climax Control of the new year. I got excited despite the fact I had to face you…again. Your partner celebrated not being booked and being able to take a “longer” vacation while you had to “go to work”. Finn on the other hand? He got annoyed he wasn’t booked, he booked tickets to come to the show JUST IN CASE. Because he’s a professional...unlike you and Oliver…”

“It goes back further than that, Eiley. It goes back to when you and Oliver lost to us the first time. Instead of acknowledging it, seeing where you went wrong, you both threw tantrums and fell into deep depressive bullshit and lost over and over again. Time and time again, you two just ignored the elephant in the room. And no, I don’t mean Kris Ryans and Mikah’s egos. I mean the loss. You were so unbelievably shocked that we beat you that you just ignored it.”

“Like a child afraid of the monster under the bed, you shut your eyes tight and hoped and prayed it would go away.”

Kayla closes her eyes tight, mimicking the action as she balls her fists together before opening her eyes with an arrogant sneer.

”Only we didn’t go away. We defended those titles and showed the world we were the best while you two fumblefucked your way through match after match and lost time and time again before beating the Barnharts and taking your rematch. One you never really earned. Only to lose again. So, we circle back around to why the marketing for this match is all wrong. See, SCW wants all the people at home to believe this is going to be some sort of fiery, epic clash between two women who hate each other and want to settle a score.”

“But the score is settled. It’s the final and we won. And now you have to drag your ass to the ring one on one after all the shit you talked and try and claw back some form of dignity as you push a narrative that makes no sense. Eiley, you seem to think I have to beat you one on one to prove you wrong or validate my existence when in reality, that’s on you.”

“I already mentioned the fact I’m a three time internet Champion.”

“The women you beat, I beat too.”

“And you look at my history in this company and I have lost four times. FOUR. I am undefeated on Climax Control. I have already proved myself cause honey, because out of those four losses, none of them, NONE of them have been to you. But how many of your losses have been to me? And you think out of some misguided fake confidence that you are going to beat me because this match is one on one? Bring that confidence, Eiley. Bring all of it. Bring Mikah and Kris and Olly and that little yapping puppy you got, bring all of Jet City. I don’t care. All that confidence, all that bravado is just a mask because the one thing you could do to beat me you just won’t ever do because you ego is not capable…”

“Acceptance.”

“Accept the fact your mentors failed you, accept the fact you have lost and need to realize you are not as good as you believe yourself to be. Accept the fact that blow by blow I am better than you. Then maybe. Just maybe, you’ll rise above and be the challenge you seem to think you are…”

Chapter 29:Smarter than you look

I hate this time of year.

I don’t think that is a secret. But everybody else –and I mean everybody – is trying to get me to enjoy it. To open up and smile and love the “magic” of this time of year and experience the joy of giving or whatever the fuck they want to try to make their lives a little less sad but more delusional. But the more they try the more I pull away. Both of my sisters have been at me over and over again to come over on Christmas Day, wanting some kind of guarantee that I’m going to be there.

I’m not sure they really want me there. Why would they? I don’t offer anything to the conversation. Everyone is there talking about their families and talking about their phones and what a great year it is and how much they all love each other. I have my career. I have my glory. I have my independence that I have only just won for the first time in my life. And that independence is a solitary existence. I still have them in my life, I still have people that I’m sure consider themselves to be my friends. But at the end of the day? I am alone and that’s how I want it.

But for whatever reason, they can’t just let it go. And that is something that has happened and been thrown in my face recently.

I came back after going down the road to grab some supplies. Walking into my apartment, I felt like I had been followed, like someone was watching me. But I tried to let that feeling go, to ignore it.

After all, who would be following me? However, as I stood in my kitchen and started putting away the various things that I bought, my doorbell went off. I raised an eyebrow, mainly, because if it was anyone I wanted to talk to, they would have the knowledge that I would require a text message or phone call at least an hour before they were going to come over.

Kayla’s rules and all that.

But, I moved over to the door, turning on the small system to look at the closed circuit camera that faced outward into the hallway. My heart dropped into my stomach, and I became more and more annoyed and agitated. It was Aiden. Aiden Reynolds. The slow, dimwitted, best friend of finn’s younger brother, and husband to the only dimwit that I actually had time for. Kallie. And here he was, standing outside my door, nervously twitching, back-and-forth, waiting for me to let him in.

I let out an audible grown, opening the deadbolt, and pulling the door toward me before looking out at a now very startled Australian. Aiden blinked a few times nervously, running a hand through his hair as I just stared at him. I was not going to give him the satisfaction of hearing my voice to question why he was here. Instead, I wanted him to sweat. Sweat on what he was about to say, and whatever stupid reason it was that he was going to give me. He cleared his throat and tilted his head, finally ready to speak, and much to my surprise, he was able to form words into sentences.

Small victories for the primate.

”Oi uh…hey Kayla, you got a minute?”

”For what?” I was clearly not in the mood for this, and I wanted him to know. My arms folded over my chest as I leaned against the door to keep it open. He nervously scratched the back of his neck and looked away. He wasn’t sure what he wanted or needed to say to me. Then, there was a small spark inside me..something very unexpected that I didn’t know I was going to feel. Sympathy. He was here for a reason. So maybe I should let him speak it.

I rolled my eyes and stepped to the side, letting him come in. “So, uh…look, how ya doin’? Ya feelin’ ok? Career goin’ well? Ya know, you and Finny Boy still killing it?” My nostrils flared, my eyes burned a hole straight through him. I really wasn’t in the mood for this, and he needed to know that. “Right so...uh Christmas is comin’ up…”

Oh god, I felt like I was going to throw up. I keep trying to forget that we are going into December. I keep trying to forget that now is the time for family gatherings. But here he is, bringing it up whilst staring at me like a puppy dog who has just run headfirst into a steel door. “Yes…I’m aware. And don’t care…but…out with it, Fido, you’re pissing me off…”

Aiden looked around, stuttering as he threw his hands in the air, trying to bring it all back together. “Look, Kallie is doing Christmas this year. She wants to plan it and she’s tryin’ to get it at Finn's…so, ya know…she wants you there…” I stayed silent, in fact, everything stayed the same. The same expression on my face, the same look of vitriol spewing from my eyes, burning a hole right through Aiden. The same arms folded over my chest. Everything was the same. His little announcement didn’t make me flinch in the slightest. “I know things have been…ya know…hard between you and Finn but Kallie would really appreciate it…”

I took a sharp breath in and shook my head before pushing it out and giving him my reply. It was not going to go well. ”No.”

\“No?”

I stepped forward and sighed with a small laugh trying to disarm myself. “I like Kallie…I do. But I don’t want to celebrate Christmas. It’s not my thing, Aiden…”

”Oi, come on. It’s a party with booze…that is totally your thing, and Kallie wants ya there and Tasmin will be there with ya niece and also…Dax seems to like ya so-”

“FOR FUCK’S SAKE SHUT UP!” Aiden stopped talking. But the damage had been done. I was now angry and frustrated. I tried to calm myself down through humor and through other means, but it didn’t work. He stared at me, and I could see in that moment, he wasn’t going to take a simple no for an answer, he needed something real. He needed the truth. “Last Christmas was the first time I…enjoyed it…”

”Eh?”

He was confused. Fuck, here we go. “Aiden, I have never had a Christmas I enjoyed. Ever. I always hated them for…various reasons. And last year, no matter how it ended up…was still one I cherish…” I closed my eyes and shook my head.
And I don’t want to destroy that memory or taint it…..so please just….just drop it ok?”

Aiden swallowed, he looked down and away. He turned and moved toward the door but stopped before turning back. “I might not know a lot about your life. But I do know about regret. I know about turning a blind eye to what you want and need. And it never works out well…just…remember that…” He moved out, closing the door behind him as I stood alone.

Like I wanted…..?


The lie of confidence


”Did anyone really think we were going to lose?”

Kayla chuckles, shaking her head as her arrogant nature shines through, her long black hair flowing freely down her shoulders and back framing her sharp features. Her full lips making her cheekbones and jaw pop even more.

“The way Finn and I operate, the precision, the professionalism. We are not the usual rabble that enters this company. You see it every single month. A flash in the pan will join, have some success, get a title or two, and then after losing will disappear forever. And sure, sometimes it is for a bit longer, but in the end it’s the same. Look at Amber Ryan, Mac Bane, and Ken Davison. These names came into the company and dominated for a time before walking off into the sunset. But Finn and myself? No, that’s not what we do.”

“Finn left but always wanted to come back. He fought to come back, and he fought for this company. He is a former World Champion, a former Roulette Champion, and now a Mixed Tag Team Champion. My title wins have been something of legend. So did anyone believe Miles Kasey and Alexandra Callaway had a damn chance?”

“I told everyone that Finn and I were going to win. Hell, my travel issues only served as a way for Miles and Alexandra to believe they could be relevant for another week.”

“But in the end, regardless of how the win happened, the win happened. Finn and I were always going to win that match. We were always going to hold those titles high again. See, we are winners, real winners. Not winners like Miles, who pop up with some pure luck only to fail at all significant events or winners like Alexandra who can earn her way to a shitty special school championship but will ultimately fail to win and keep it. No, Finn and I are champions. Born to be champions. Born to be professionals. No matter what you all believe about us.”

Kayla turns her nose up and lets out a small tut before shaking her hand dismissively, waving her hand to the side. She swallows hard and turns her attention back forward.

“You see, I just used a word that so many of you don’t even know the meaning of. Professional. Do you know what professionalism is? Because our opponents coming up at December 2 Dismember certainly don’t. Neither did the two that we just beat. You see, professionalism means that you can put your personal feelings aside and step into the ring and do what you need to do. Whether or not Finn and I have feelings –positive or negative towards each other– means nothing when that bell rings. It means nothing when we have to defend these championships. It means nothing when we win championships. Because it is called being a..…”

She paused, giving it a bit of emphasis, before leaning forward a bit and sneering into the camera.

“Professional.”

“You see, last time we faced Limitless. All I heard was the same song and dance. This narrative was pushed by these two young upstarts, that they were the greatest thing since sliced bread. The greatest team that we would ever see. They learned from the best. And myself and my partner were not going to be able to coexist, and we were broken. We were broken beyond repair. That’s the narrative that they decided to run with. A story that they decided to tell to each and every one of you. Now, I’m no expert, but it seems to me that their little story was a full-blown work of fiction. Something that should be put in the section dedicated to conspiracy theories, and lame stories made up by people who have nothing better to do with their lives because they aren’t smart enough to come up with anything worthwhile.”

“This is Limitless in a nutshell. Because we rose above all of that and showed them to be nothing but idiots who had no idea what they were talking about. And here is one of the problems that I have with most people in this company. They can’t admit when they were wrong. If I’m wrong about someone, if they beat me in the middle of that ring, then I will tell them to their face that I was wrong about them. I still won’t like them. I'll still call them a complete moron and tell them that I would love to kick their face in, but I am someone who will always tell the truth. Who will always admit if I was wrong.”

“It just doesn’t happen very often.”

Kayla can’t help but chuckle to herself before continuing.

”What was it that Eiley said? That we had no chance in hell of beating them? That they were the greatest tag team known to man? Because I could’ve sworn that’s what they said. And the problem with it isn’t that they said it, the problem is that they will never admit they were wrong. The problem is that they can’t look themselves in the mirror and be honest. Hell, after they tried to get one over on me verbally and I put them in their place on that cesspool of a social media platform that can’t make up its mind and is owned by a despot billionaire. All they did was talk about how they won the tag team of the year award. Calling it a consolation prize and acting as if that was the real championship.”

“You lost Eiley. And how someone handles a loss speaks volumes about them. Sometimes they go silent, and that silence can be deafening. Other times? They decide to run their mouths even louder, and when they fail their entire psychic brakes. That is what happened to Limitless. They ran their mouth. They disagreed with each other, and they fell down a hole that they have not been able to scrape out of. Six weeks and they have done nothing. Six weeks and they haven’t been able to win a match to earn themselves a championship shot. They were given time and time to figure it out, and yet, here we are. The only reason why they are getting the shot at us is because they were the champions and this company doesn’t have the balls to tell them to fuck off and earn it…”

There is a small whisper from off-camera, Kayla raises her eyebrow and leans in close.

”What?”

This time we hear it, the voice of Finn Whelan, clearly standing off-camera and whispering to Kayla.

”They won a match…”

”The Barnharts.”

”Who gives a shit…that doesn’t count..”

Finn lowers his voice again and Kayla groans and throws her head back in an overly dramatic way before taking a deep breath.

”FINE! Ok, so I have been informed that it isn’t all doom and gloom for you two. It seems that you were able to get a win over The Barnharts. Congratulations. After failing time and time again, someone in this company decided to take pity on you and feed you the most inept team that they could find. Apparently, the Warrens or Steeles were too busy. So now what? You guys need to get one win to get into the ring with us and it happened to be against that loser of a team? Do you think that you earned this? Do you think you deserve it? And I know, I know what you were thinking. Finn and I didn’t exactly earn our shot at you guys right?”

“Kind of. Hell, you two cried about that enough as we let up to the first match. And very correctly, we both pointed out that we were a team that was named back when these championships were going to come back. Finn took time off, and when he returned, we were ready to be a team. And he and I have actually had success in this company whereas you two fell into it and took these championships when no one else had been ready to be part of the division.”

“And the first team that had any type of clout or skill that came up to face you and you lost. You two want to be exactly like your mentors right? Oh, and by the way, I can hardly wait to hear about that story again. I can hardly wait for you to stand there and cut your promos, mentioning Kris Ryans and Mickah over and over like those names mean something in the year of our lord TwentyTwenty-fucking-three.”

She rolls her eyes and takes a deep breath.

”Oliver, as I’ve already established, I do nothing but tell the truth. Even though a lot of people don’t want to hear it. And sweetheart, the other one is dragging you down. You could have real success as a star here in this company. And sure, you aren’t really half the man that Finn is, but very few people are. You could still win the Internet Championship or the Roulette or even go after the World Championship while no one else is looking. But the deadweight is holding you down, the albatross around your neck is dragging you straight to hell. You need to cut off the anchor and you need to be able to fly like an eagle.”

“Instead of failing.”

“And Eiley? You rotten little arrogant bitch. You need to be put in your place. But permanently this time. Because Finn and I already did it once. And I thought maybe, just maybe you would realize it as you got in the ring after that, and time and time again, you failed. You two have become a laughingstock. You tried to live up to these lofty expectations that your mentors had for you, and all you’ve done is become a cruel caricature of them. You can’t even get to the point where you are going to repeat their mistakes, because you can’t even get to the level with those two. And I get it, we all live in people's shadows in this business. People who came up with people who we train with, people who we respect, people who taught us or family members.”

“But there comes a time when you need to move out of their shadows and be your own people. And that is something that I don’t think either of you can ever truly understand. Because you take away the gym that you train at, you take away the bond that you’ve apparently had with each other, and you take away the mentors that have been watching over your shoulder, and what are you left with? Two arrogant children who have now realized that the arrogance that they were given, and gifted is only going to get them so far and the talent and drive will have to take them the rest of the way. And unfortunately for both of you? You just don’t have that kind of talent.”

Chapter27:The Meeting

Winter was coming in, whether anyone truly wanted it or not. The air became chilly, the wind picked up, and everyone began to don more clothing. It was the same cycle over and over. And I hated it. Just as much as I hated this day. I’m not someone that likes to fix anything, or go over feelings or emotions. I’m not someone that likes to talk about that kind of thing because in my own opinion, people were kind of like cheetahs. They couldn’t change their spots, and they couldn’t change who they were just because you talked to them.

Still, I found myself pushing open the door to a small cafe close to that stupid training facility that all of the other idiots in my former living situation worked and trained in. Wolfslair. It was a stupid concept, but one they all seemed to form the same opinion of. Me? My training had been in London, and I had no desire to go back there and be a part of some reunion with people that were less skilled and less intelligent. I had better things to do with my life. And truthfully, sitting in this cafe wasn’t one of them, but I knew everyone I’d spoken to – Tasmin and Kallie being the only living beings beyond my own head – was right. To make this team work, we were going to have to talk.

I saw him there before I think he even saw me. Long sleeved black henley, the buttons unbuttoned at his neck with a bit of his tattoos peeking out, sleeves pushed up to his elbows. He had a pen in his hand, scribbling notes down on a notepad. He had glasses on. Wait. When the fuck did he wear glasses?

Fuck.

I looked down at myself, checking my own appearance. Ripped jeans, like normal. Check. Leather jacket over a Motorhead long-sleeved (and low-necked) shirt that showed off the girls like I preferred. Check. Hair pulled up into a ponytail because why the fuck would I do it in this wind? Check. And then I mentally slapped myself for even caring.

I walked over, my chucks hitting the tile floor quickly and I dropped into the chair in front of him, throwing my bag onto the floor. He looked up at me, sizing me up like he always did. I felt my nostrils flare and my lip curl. “What?” I snarled, before he could even open his mouth to say hello.

His eyebrow shot up briefly, and he leaned back in his chair. Finn Whelan was not a human being that liked being questioned and I knew that. His nostrils flared too. But he didn’t sound angry when he opened his mouth. “I bought you coffee. Black. One sugar. Sugar and creamer are there if you want them, but if I remembered correctly, you only liked a packet in there.”

I tried to slow down and calm my outward indignation. Taking a deep breath I gave a small nod and sat down across from him. His eyes moved up to mine, he had that confident stare going on. This mother fucker really thought he was in charge here. “Thanks. Nice to see you remembered something.” It came out of my mouth with a little too much venom. I wanted some to be sure, to hammer home that no matter what he believed, I was the one with the power here. Finn sighed and sat back, bringing his hand up to place his thumb under his jaw and his forefinger across his chin, staring right into me. His eyes were gorgeous, his cheekbones perfect and his jawline so sharp it could cut the rock hard breakfast they were serving in this godforsaken cafe.

Oh god, I needed to look away. Finn caught my trepidation, he isn’t stupid. And how knows me, as much as I hate to say it. “Look, we have to be in agreement. On everything.” I took a sip of my coffee, nodding slowly but choosing to stay silent. He looked over his notepad, leaning forward with a small smirk. “We won a match easily. And now we have a chance to be champions together. However, only if we co-exist.” He was right, of course. It was something that people close to me had reiterated. Clearly he got the same message.

I took a deep breath and drank more of my coffee, looking down at my hands and then slowly back up at him. “I can admit, you and I worked well in the ring together. I can even admit I…enjoyed it.” I trailed off, cleared my throat and shook my head. “And I never want to lose. Ever. So given this opportunity I think you’re right. We need to co-exist, get on the same page. Work as a team and all that.”  I chuckled and sat back. “But how?” I softened my gaze, my voice, even my body language. I felt myself slipping. My emotions were bubbling to the surface. Fuck, I wanted to just tell him how I felt.

Finn tried his best to hide his feelings too. He could read my body language like a book. But for the sake of this conversation he held back. Typical. “Trust. We don’t have it. We need it.  At least in the ring. I need to trust that no matter what you’re trying to win.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

I tutted, throwing a hand in the air and rolling my eyes. Sitting forward I replaced the sorrow with arrogance. The sadness with anger. “You can trust that I will do what is best for me. Like I always do.” I narrowed my eyes and scoffed with a scowl etched across my lips. “And right now, what is best for me is teaming with you to take those championships….” He exhaled from his nose, as if he had more to say and was trying to decide if he wanted to say it at all. I almost thought about goading him into saying it, but I knew that even if I had the power, I could never force the man to talk. Silence settled between us, and it was extremely uncomfortable. I cleared my throat, looking elsewhere. “Is that all?”

“No.”

He said the word with such force that it made me look up at him again. Finn’s eyes were set on me, and it was unnerving. Those ice blue eyes of his, especially staring at me like they were, were as if he could see through me and right into my soul. I felt my heart plummet down and I tried to look disinterested. “Well, what is it, because I don’t have all day—“

“Kayla, if we’re going to win, you have to get over yourself and trust me too.”

Absolutely not. I felt my back stiffen, my nostrils flare and the hair on the back of my neck stand up all in one flash. “Get over myself?” I nearly shrieked, but for the betterment of myself I was able to keep it down. “You have a lot of nerve—“

“Do you think I want to do the very same to you?” He cut me off, leaning forward. “That I want to put trust into you after all the shit we’ve been through? It’s not on my highest list of priorities, but we don’t really have a choice. So I’m stuffing it down. I’m trusting you —  not to just do what’s best for you — but to be a partner. We don’t have to be friends. We don't…” and he stopped, clearly struggling with what he wanted to say. And that wasn’t like Finn. He was getting agitated, and while part of me was excited to see him flustered (he deserved it), there was a part of me that wanted to help him calm. A small part of me. An almost dead part of me. “Look, whatever we had is dead, right? I get that. I understand that. But you and I both know that if we can just let that go when it comes to the ring, we can do this. We can be better than Tweedledum and DeeDee. But they have the one thing we don’t. Trust in each other not just to win, but to support the other as their teammate. I have to have your back just as you have to have mine. There is no me—“

“Oh my god,” I snorted. Really?

“—without you. Okay?”

I paused, staring ahead. I knew the words were coming. I tried to fold away all the emotions, ones I didn’t know were going to bubble up. Fuck. He could see it too, in my face, my eyes, my body language. I swallowed, pushing it all down. “All right. I get it. We can’t do this without each other. And, to be honest, with you, I know if I do my job, you’ll take care of yours. I can trust that. Besides, you’d never fuck me over.”  He stayed silent, looking me up and down, reading me, studying me.  I could feel myself cracking, breaking. The delicate mask that I slipped over my face when I walked inside and saw him slipped. “I could never hurt you in that way either….” I trailed off looking down at my hands, I was fidgeting, moving my fingers together and away again.

Nerves and insecurity were never my thing.

“Kayla, I–”

I put my hand up and shook my head. “This should be professional, we are nothing if not pragmatic, Finn.” I shot a small smile, drinking the rest of my coffee before clearing my throat. “Thank you for your honesty. Before. It’s nice to know where you stand with me.” I pushed out my words, thinking back to his phrasing before.  At least now I knew. Everything, anything that was there is now dead in his mind. The weight was bearing down and my face changed, my eyes hurt and I felt it all crashing down. And while it happened I could feel it, his eyes on me. It was only a matter of time before Finn saw it. I cleared my throat and looked away, I wasn’t going to let him win.

Finn’s look changed, as if he just had a thought enter his mind he didn’t expect. ”Kayla…did we…oh shit.” He looked past me, his face faded from thoughtful and introspective to annoyance, I raised an eyebrow and my heart hurt and felt as if it was going to explode.

”Finny! HEY! How are you?” It was Emily. She was still in his life. I shook my head and planted my hands on the table, standing up.

”Kayla, wait…” I put my hand up in a dismissive way, I wasn’t going to get drawn in again, I wasn’t going to let this happen and this bullshit crush me again. I pushed the door open and walked out onto the busy streets. I thought I heard something behind me, but right now? Right now I just wanted to get home. Hailing a cab, sliding in, I don;t even remember telling him where to go, the anger had blinded me, dulled my hearing to a subtle deafness.

As the cab got to my apartment building, things started to clear. I paid the driver, moved through the lobby and up to the elevator. My heart started slowing down, I started to breathe and relax. Moving to my door and into my apartment I heard laughing. Kallie and Tasmin were waiting for me. Kallie stood up, Tasmin recognised the look, standing up and tapping her on the shoulder. Tasmin moved over and sat down near me. ”So, things didn’t…go well?”

I took a sharp inhale in, pulling out a bottle of whiskey, pouring a glass with no ice, cause fuck diluting it you savages. ”You could say that. I think we cleared the air, know where we stand….it was even lovely seeing Emily again.”

”Wait…..what? Emily? Why was she there?”

I shrugged and sipped  my drink, calming me even more. ”You’d have to ask Finn. but it’s fine. It is. We can work together. I know he and I can win and be successful. We can be professional…but…that’s it…professional.” I repeated it again, drinking the rest of my whiskey. Tasmin looked over at Kallie, they both seemed sad. I just shook my head. I had work to do.




Assumptions

”If you would indulge me for a moment. I would like to paraphrase the greatest postmodern American poet of the last twenty years.”

“Lindsey Lohan…”

“I’m tired of rumours starting, I’m sick of being followed, I’m sick of people lying, saying what they want about me”

“That’s right, I said it. And it’s true.”

Kayla sneered, her long black hair flowing down her shoulders and back framing her face, her high cheekbones and focused look betraying the frustrations she was keeping inside.

”There’s a lot of miscommunication and bullshit being thrown around this place, especially when it comes to myself and Finn. But, in the ring, he and I are ready to do what we need to do and our opponents at High Stakes have done nothing but believe their own hype. Now, this might seem ironic of me to say but Eiley and Oliver need to reign their arrogance in. And yeah I know, coming from someone like me? That’s rich”

“I mean yeah, as established, Eiley, you and Oliver beat Tempest and Austin…and Austin is a former World Champion and Tempest is, big. Like…really, really big. But the fact you needed to cheat speaks volumes. And make no mistake. To win that match you NEEDED to cheat.”

“I don't cheat in matches because I need to.”

“I do it because I WANT to.”

“But in the first little verbal barb you decided to try and throw out there, you decided to go on and say Finn and I don’t have a chance at beating you. Really? No chance at all? There is a 0.0000000000000001 percent chance that you will walk outside and get brutally murdered by a five-year-old with a rubber banana. It’s a tiny chance, but it’s still a chance. So saying that ,two seasoned, skilled, former champions with a killer instinct stand “no chance” at beating you?”

“Sweetheart…”

“You’re an idiot.”

She scoffs and shakes her head, tapping her arm with her finger as her arms fold over her chest.

”Not that arrogance is a bad thing. Hell, I live and breathe arrogance and confidence. My full name might as well be Kayla “Hubris” Richards. But even I have limits. I have beaten Ariana Angelos so many times I think I have PTSD from hearing her pathetic begging. But even I know, deep down there is a tiny chance she could get lucky and beat me. Thing is, in your rambling rant of arrogant stupidity there are some nuggets of logic and truth. You and Oliver have beaten some big names and great teams. You beat Ben and Sam, and it’s unfortunate that Ben’s talents couldn’t overcome Sam Marlowe’s apathy. You beat Austin and Tempest who I already talked about ad nauseum. And then you beat….you beat….”

“Bill and Bea.”

“Congrats. Three Mixed Tag Title wins. Against one credible team, one team that would have been credible five years ago and a husband-wife team that shouldn’t even be in this company. Small logics and half truths.”

“Three wins a legacy does not make, Eiley. But I get the sentiment. You and Oliver live, eat, breathe and work together day in and day out. You guys are always in the ring working with the rest of your gym all striving to get better and stronger and be the best team you can be. I get it. It makes a lot of sense. It even makes sense saying Finn and I aren’t “a team”.”

Kayla shrugs and nods slowly.

”Outwardly. No, outwardly he and I have our issues due to personal things. But you want to know why you should be worried, Eiley? Why you and Oliver need to open your goddamn eyes? You two, being in your little SCW centric bubble, know about the big stars of this company. But, even then your bubble is smaller. You two think that Kris Ryans and Mikah are the be all and end all of SCW, despite the fact the company left them behind. The company and wrestling in general moves on to new stars…more dominant stars.”

“You think Mikah is still the best bombshell of all time? Amber Ryan, Roxi Johnson, Alicia Lukas…that is three names off the top oif my head that make Micah look like a third rate Margot Robbie with a less annoying accent. The wrestling world moves on. So, while you two mention Kris and Mikah and ride their asses around like it means something, all it shows is that you can’t live up to your own lofty expectations and your own careers and futures so you need to verbally blow them for twenty minutes.”

“But again…you and Oliver are a real TEAM, right?”

“Finn and I don’t know each other as well, and I even said we might have trouble learning to “co-exist” as a team”

“I don’t think you took in what I was saying kid. Let me spell it out for you.”

“I know Finn Whelan. I know him very well. He and I were best friends for a long time, even though neither of us would admit it. I had his back and he had mine. We drove each other nuts, but we still know each other. We lived together, we saw each other everyday and when I was at the lowest most fucked up point of my life and I needed a hand, he was there. Finn pulled me up, dusted me off and reminded me of the one indisputable fact of my life: I am a raging bitch whose horrible attitude is matched by my talent.”

Kayla sneered again and threw her hands in the air.

”You and Oliver are young kids with your whole careers ahead of you and while Finn and I aren’t old by any metric, he and I do have way more experience – in life and in the ring. So yeah, you can say Finn and I aren’t a team, and we’re not better than you two, and you can even fall back on your trainers names as a way to both keep them relevant and add legitimacy to everything that spills out of your pathetic little mouth.”

“But at the end of the day, we will be in the ring with you both at High Stakes. And you will be facing two people who have the talent and the drive to challenge anyone. Two people who hate to lose, who do anything and everything they can to win.”

“You and Oliver can talk a great game, you have had some success but arrogance needs to be earned. Earned through wins and losses. So you guys, need to lose. To be who you want to be, to show the world that you are serious and aren’t just riding on other past accomplishments, you have to have that loss. That crushing defeat. You learn nothing from a win. You and Oliver win and then what?”

“Who else is there for you two to face?”

“You lose and you have to go back to the drawing board, deal with the deflation and loss of ego. And then and only then will you know how good you really are. So in a way, Finn and I can and will be willing to help you. By beating you, taking those titles and then holding them ‘till you raise back up and come for us. Now, I don't dislike you Eiley, or Oliver. In fact, you both impressed me, but you are still the weak link, you are still following Oliver around while verbally mouth fucking “legends.” And at High Stakes…I’m going to end that story thread and force you to grow up…fast.”

Chapter 25: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back.

It had been an interesting few weeks for me. Through the professional struggles that I had been forced to endure, I had a small glimmer of hope in my personal life away from the bright lights of professional wrestling, and the trials and tribulations that we are all forced to go through. After leaving the comfort of the place that I had called “Home” for the better part of the year, and the only place that I had actually felt welcome, I needed to be on my own. I needed to strike out and find a place that was uniquely me, while also allowing me to spread my wings.

This might come as a surprise to most people, but I’m not exactly the most social person on the face of the Earth. I don’t like to float around to different groups and make myself known. A social butterfly, I am not. But for a select few, I can be open. Well, as open as you’d expect me to be. In the last couple of weeks, while I had been ignoring my professional life, my personal life had felt better.

I settled on an apartment. Beautiful and spacious, but still cozy enough that I felt secure and safe. A place that I could really feel at home with. One that I bought and was mine. Not one that I shared with someone else, not one that was in someone else’s name, not even one that I rented. This was mine. I owned it. See, I have never put roots down. My sister was right in that regard. I had moved from my parents place, to living with my sister, to living with boyfriends, to living with Finn and all the others. I had traveled everywhere, but never stopped to really be myself and have a place that I could love and call my own.

That all changed a few weeks ago.

And since I moved in, I felt myself feeling more open. Both of my sisters had come to visit, my brother, even my mother. I welcomed them with open arms, gave each one of them the grand tour of my little corner of paradise. A nice open plant family room, overlooking a large bay window with a balcony. Twelve stories up. A large kitchen that I had sworn to myself and I was going to learn how to use it. Three bedrooms, the master bedroom for myself obviously, but two guest bedrooms in case my sisters ever wanted to stay over.

This was mine.

The feeling of independence and being okay with being alone sent to wash over me and fit me like a glove. Tasmin came to visit me, her long hair tied back, looking every bit the mother that she had become since her daughter, Dawn, had come into this world a little over a year ago. I must admit, I enjoyed spending time with my baby niece. Her adorable little face and look at of innocence was something that I had been missing in my life, and that I had lacked since I could remember.

But now, while she sat across from me, I could feel that she wanted to ask me some questions. She seemed happy for me, something that filled me with a certain feeling of pride. See, Tasmin had always wanted more for me. She was a loving person, always being there for her older sisters and wanting us to be happy. As happy as she was with her husband and her child, and while Amber had also settled into her own life of calm contemplation. I have never been someone to find that level of domestic bliss.

She smiled, lifting up her coffee cup and taking a sip before looking around the kitchen and across out the window.  “It’s a beautiful apartment, Kay. I’m glad you took it, and everything here…” She looked around, the vintage horror posters and band posters mixed with artistic interpretations of ancient Celtic and Slavic legends showing off my personality. “It’s very you.”

She was right. Of course, I have definitely personalized the apartment, to my own tastes. ”Thanks…I guess”

“It seems nice and quiet too…like you’ll be left alone.” I chuckled and shook my head, I know why Tasmin feels that way, I know why she thinks that way.

I stretched and pointed to my left. “I know everyone who lives on this floor…my neighbors are alright.” Tasmin looked shocked, as I thought she would. After all, I have never been the type of person that wants to go into social situations with people I barely know. Most of the time, I don’t even want to be in social situations with people I do know. “The guy who lives two doors away is a music engineer. We chat about bands and I’ve even had coffee with him...”

Tasmin laughed it off, but when I didn’t laugh, she tilted her head and looked around before leaning in close. “Seriously? You? …wow…you really have settled in here. And you seem…happy…and you look like you took everything happening in SCW really well…”

I rolled my eyes and let out a huffing noise. I threw my hands up in the air before I leaned forward, grabbing my coffee and taking a sip. It didn’t really bother me, the world of professional wrestling has always been one of people falling, and then pulling themselves back up. People who fail and find redemption in unexpected victories. “You win titles and lose them Tas, I’m ready to go back to work…I’ll rise back upI’m too good not to.”

She looked confused, and in turn that confused me. She cleared her throat and tilted her head. “So, you’re ok with the match this week?”

“What match? I know I’m due to be there, but I haven’t checked…why?”

Tasmin went quiet, looking down and shaking her head. She looked worried, I raised my eyebrow and stared at her. ”Uh, well…you are teaming with Finn…”

I took a short, sharp breath in. My hands slowly pulled into fists as I tried to keep myself calm. Why? Why did I have to be teaming with him? I let out a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. Tasmin knew, sitting back and shaking her head, looking disappointed in herself. Like she just brought up some kind of bad memory that was breaking me. And in a way, it was. I had gone out of my way to put him out of my mind, to not even think about him or mention him. Even when his return match was announced, I simply put it out of my mind and didn’t watch it all. I didn’t go near any monitors. Backstage, I was like a ghost, grabbing my bag and leaving before he stepped foot out into that arena.

I thought I had done well….

”Why? Why the fuck am I teaming with him?” I trailed off, standing up and moving across the room to look out across the city, I just happened to be looking across toward the general direction of Finn’s home. MY home. I growled and lashed out, slamming my fist into the window and turning. Tasmin jumped and shook her head. “I’m ok...this is fine...it has to be a mistake.”

I picked up my phone, flicking through my emails and finding the booking schedule for it. ”I don’t think it’s a mistake…they’re already advertising it-”

My blood boiled, my hands shook, I felt my muscles tense up and as the anger rose up from my lower stomach I opened my mouth and screamed.

“FUCK!!!”

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

”This is complete bullshit. I know why this is happening, but I also don’t understand why it is all coming up now. See, a few months ago Finn and I wanted to team together. The mixed tag team division was in tatters at the time and no one gave a crap about it. But he and I wanted to step foot in the ring together. Nobody listened, and nobody cared. But, he left, and I stayed. And the personal relationship that he and I had is not what it was. So why the fuck are we teaming together?”

Kayla is full of venom, anger and vitriol. She growls and shakes her head throwing her hands in the air.

”I just lost my Internet championship, and I did the best I could with that title. I raised it up to a goal that people wanted to chase and accomplish, a prize that was worth holding. I did that. No one else did that. And after losing it this third and final time, I was ready to move on. I was looking at the different champions in this company and the names that currently sit on top of the mountain. Legends that I could try and bait into matches that were high profile and would give me the right level of exposure. I was already dreaming of matches that I could have with the likes of Roxi Johnson and others.”

“I was ready to go after Courtney Pierce, and anyone else who was going to step in my way. I was ready to climb up the ladder of the Roulette or Bombshells divisions. Ready to go after either of those championships and show everyone just how good I am, and that my domination of the Internet Championship division was not a fluke, nor was it all that I’m capable of. In fact, it’s just the beginning.”

“The beginning of my ascent to greatness. But now? What am I to do?”

“I know, I’m going to chase this carrot. The carrot dangling in front of me and Finn. The mixed tag team titles. A division we wanted to champion and push forward at the beginning of the year that they sat there and went back and forth on if it was coming back and if it did what would the rules be? Cause back in the day, they didn’t really like people who ruled singles divisions to step in the mixed tag. That has since changed. I could have been the Internet Champion and mixed tag team champion. So now, after losing a championship that I built up and made into a prize, getting ready to restart my career in a new direction…I’m being put in a team with a man that…well…I have a personal issue with…”

Kayla throws her hands in the air pacing back and forth in anger and frustration, a full blown anger that she usually tries to hide.

”There’s no secret: Finn and I were close. Past tense. Were close. We were friends, roommates, maybe more. Truth is, I don’t know. But personal issues broke us down and I haven’t even talked to that man in two months. And now, here I am, being forced to team with him because of something we said a year ago. And even though Finn and I, separately, are incredible athletes, I don’t know what we are going to do in this match. I don’t even know if we can co-exist.”

“Finn and I are both former champions, former world champions in multiple companies. And in SCW alone, he and I have won numerous championships and Finn has been the World champion. Even a unfocused Finn Whelan is fucking dangerous. So regardless of who we are facing, you’d think we would be a threat. A threat to our opponents and a threat to the champions right?”

“Wrong…”

“Because I don’t even know if I can look at the motherfucker, let alone tag him in. And our opponents? What the shit is this? Jane and Tyler McCulligan. Are they a brother and sister twin team? A young married couple? Fucking on the side? They’re from Tennessee, so let's be real here….”

“It could be all three…”

She rolls her eyes and paces back and forth.

“These two arrogant little cockstains think they’re top shit. Nineteen years old, both, stomping around here like they’re going to be the next big things. Dreams and aspirations abound. And while part of me understands it and even respects it, I’m just in an all-around annoyed mood. See, at least these two don’t kiss peoples asses. They already have the attitude of wanting to step on people to get where they need and want to go. Normally I would applaud that and I would actually tell people straight up I was impressed. Might even give them a hearty thumbs up.”

“But this time? Nah. See not only do I want to win, which I always do, but I want to win by not even tagging in Finn.”

“Cause then I’d have to look at him.”

“So, the only way I can stop that is by grabbing Jane by her ratchet hair and beating the living hell out of her and not even giving her the opportunity to tag in Tyler. The only way is to beat the hell out of Jane to a ridiculous degree. And this ain’t personal generic mean girl plain Jane, This is a point of pride. Cause Finn and I, two veterans of the business with histories stretching back years, are facing two nineteen year old kids who think they’re top shit.”

“Truth is…we can’t lose to you.”

“This is a lose-lose situation. If we beat you, then we just beat two wet behind the ears rookies, arrogant little douchebags who think their shit doesn’t stink and who cut promos like they have stayed up all night watching Quinten Tarintino movies, but getting the pacing and dialogue all wrong. And if we win? Well shit, we just beat two kids who we are expected to beat. Even given your lives outside of all this, and the turmoil Finn and I have gone through, we should still beat you and losing to you both is frankly an option that fills me with a level of dread that I have only felt when the Starbucks barista uses whole milk in my chai…”

“Truth be told….I’m in a shitty mood and you, Jane…you are going to be the punishing bag I let all my anger out on, Tyler on the other hand? He’ll be fine…cause I don’t feel like letting Finn have any of the attention he doesn’t deserve.”

Human

I needed somewhere to go.

After leaving Finn’s house in New York City, I needed somewhere to go. After some thought and time, I ended up at my sister Tasmin’s home. I had thought about going upstate, up to my other sister's house. To see Amber. But, knowing her that would have been a bad idea.

Amber and I are far too similar.

If I had turned up there I can imagine the conversation, she would have brown beat me for “giving up”, or for “being weak”. She might even have told me to march back there, grab Emily by that mop of blonde hair and beat the hell out of her in the kitchen till it was bloody red. And people wonder why I am the way I am. My older sister was my hero and she was just as much of a bitch as me.

Instead I went to Tasmin’s, putting my things in storage except for a backpack and a large suitcase. It was a brief conversation, a text message telling her I was going to be staying with her and her husband for a week or so. I had the means to find my own place, I always had. Staying with Finn in that huge apartment was not out of financial necessity.

SCW pays me very well for what I do.

The door opened and there she was. Tasmin, my baby sister. A talented wrestler in her own right, a little too flippy and bouncy for my tastes. While Amber was versed in submission wrestling, ground and pound, and joint manipulation, I was more about strikes and beating my opponent to within an inch of their life. I mixed in submissions, for sure, but that was my thing. Tasmin on the other hand, well, she was about high flying and being an athletic freak.

But, her days in the ring were on hold. She was still looking after her and Adam’s baby daughter. And the role of mother and wife suited her well. But what struck me as interesting, above all else was Tasmin’s look.

Gone was the platinum blonde. Now she was raven haired like myself and Amber. But, Amber and I were born that way. We looked like our mother. Tasmin on the other hand was blonde, like the asshole shitstain we called a father. But, she changed it. She felt different. And as I walked into her house I was able to smile for the first time in weeks.

I saw her. Dawn. My niece.

I loved my nieces and nephew from Amber, don’t get me wrong. But for some reason, I had a connection with Dawn. She was now a little over a year old, sitting up and playing with little blonde curls dangling down. She was the cutest little bundle I’d ever seen. Tasmin sat back and folded her arms as I moved to the floor and sat down, pulling Dawn onto my lap.

”So, why the sudden move?”

Tasmin knew why. She was there, she’d seen it all. But she wanted me to talk about me. She wanted for me to open up. And part of me wanted too, needed to. Part of me was all about venting. But there was still a mental block there. A small voice in my head telling me to simply swallow it all. The emotional damage, the anger, the sadness. The pain. Just push it down. ”Felt like I should strike out on my own, I guess. It was time. They were all cramping my style.”

”Mhmmm…”

I cleared my throat and looked away. Continuing, and perhaps overexplaining. ”Finn’s home was starting to feel like a wayward wrestler orphanage. And I had no desire to play mother to a bunch of idiots who can’t string a sentence together unless you beat them first.” I booped Dawn on the nose; she laughed and picked up a small plastic horse bopping it up and down like it was galloping. I chuckled and looked back over at Tasmin, and her arms had folded over her chest.

Here it fucking comes…

”It had nothing to do with that party, then?” I groaned, audibly. Tasmin raised an eyebrow and stepped forward. ”I saw the look on your face, Kay, I saw how hurt you were, how angry you were. You can’t hide that.”

”Yeah, it could have been avoided so easily.”

Tasmin shook her head and clicked her tongue. ”Look, I just got asked to come over, I turned up and was told it was a birthday party. I got there maybe five minutes before you and spent those five minutes frantically trying to get everyone there NOT to do this…” I knew she did, she had already told me after the fact.

I put my hand up and shook my head. ”I know. I don’t blame you for it…I know you were pulled into the middle of it all.”

Tasmin swallowed, she felt guilty. It wasn’t what I intended. ”The only other person there who thought it was a bad idea was Dickie….” She trailed off and shook her head. ”But he was hoping you’d snap and beat the shit out of Emily…”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. The same reaction our older sister would have had. ”I knew I had to go, Tas...” I paused, and my brain moved a mile a minute. I needed to come up with something. Anything. But it was too late. The floodgates opened. ”It was clear he was never going to choose me. I was just kidding myself…” My jaw clenched and I ran a hand through my niece’s hair, sighing heavily as a tear rolled down my cheek. ”I was never going to be good enough. And that was ok, I just wish I hadn’t…”

I trailed off again, taking a deep breath in. Tasmin tilted her head as her look softened, her arms fell to her sides as she moved over and crouched down next to me and Dawn. ”Wish you hadn’t…what?” I closed my eyes and let out a laboured breath that stuttered out.

”Let myself believe it.”

I shook my head, tears flowed again. Tasmin leaned over, wrapping her arms around me. We sat on the floor, me hugging Dawn, Tasmin hugging us both. I felt weak. I felt vulnerable. And the entire time, only one word played through my mind.

Pathetic.


Future Imperfect

”Something that you can definitely say about me is that I don’t like to say I told you so, and that I am a gracious winner.”

Kayla laughs to herself. No, she is not delusional enough to believe this is true. She just likes being a bitch.

”But, I told you so. I told every single one of you that Ariana did not belong in the ring with me and that she didn’t deserve the opportunity that was given to her. And yeah, given. Not earned. You look at her history and there is no justification for making me face her again, so I did what any rational professional wrestler and champion would do.”

“I beat the breaks of that ratchet Greek bitch and banished her from the Internet Title scene.”

“And by the time Violent Conduct rolls around, I will have been the Internet champion for over 130 days. But, this is the third time I have held this title. The third time I have been the Internet Champion. My first reign should not have ended the way it did. I should not have watched this championship get taken by a woman who just wanted to add it to her resume and check it off a list.”

“I dragged myself back up, I took the title back and then went about re-establishing it.”

“Only to have it taken away due to Ariana Angelos and her stupidity. I told SCW Management that she shouldn’t be there. I told them all she was going to rob me of that title and what happened? There was nothing against Melissa; she and I went to a draw in our first one on one match, she proved herself and I wanted to defend the title against her without Ariana, and in the end…Melissa pinned her, my title got taken from me and I again had to drag my way back up to take back what was mine.”

Her demeanor changes. She growls and shakes her head, the anger and frustration clearly showing on her face.

”And all I wanted, all I ever wanted, was real challengers. Women in this company willing to lay it all on the line. And in the end, I got matches against an aging veteran in Laura Phoenix and a painfully average piece of shit in Dawn Warren. Are you kidding me? Laura Phoenix, and respect to her career, is not on my level. And I proved it. Dawn Warren, well she shouldn’t have even sniffed in my direction let alone have had a title opportunity.”

“And, what happened with my calls for competition? Hmm? They fell on deaf ears as I was handed Ariana again. With a promise that if she beat me, somehow fluked a win, she would have gotten another shot. And everyone, everyone says that I would have wanted an easy fight. Cause that is what everyone secretly wants. The easy fight. Something I have never wanted.”

“So, imagine my happiness when I read the fine print….”

“After beating Ariana I could name my own opponent.”

“And as I said when I announced my challenger, I was never going to choose the easy way out. If I wanted that I would have laid down for Ariana, I would have then destroyed her at Violent Conduct. I would have chosen Dawn Warren again, or called Kate Steele out of whatever self imposed fake retirement she’s in, or I would have chosen Bea Barnhart. There were a million other names I could have chosen that would have been a walk through for me.”

“Instead, I chose Aleesha Jones.”

Kayla smirks and gives a small nod before clearing her throat and pulling the Internet title up and over her shoulder.

”I chose someone who has been undefeated and has been showing herself as a future star in this company and the wrestling world as a whole. She is an unknown in my world. Someone who I don’t know that much about, who I can only do a certain amount of scouting on. And. based on what I have seen, well she’s a challenge. Aleesha has been beating everyone in front of her. Including Samantha Marlowe a few weeks ago.”

“Now, Samantha Marlowe is not the name she used to be, in fact her stock has fallen faster than Gamestop’s, but she is still a former champion and that match could have easily derailed Aleesha’s momentum.”

“Instead, the opposite happened.”

“And then what hmmm? Aleesha grabbed a microphone and spoke her mind. She wanted the spotlight, so I decided to give it to her. Especially since she seems to think the same way I do. And you do Aleesha. I watched you after you beat Sam, the look in your eyes, the fire you have. People hate me because I say and do whatever I want and I seem to be misunderstood. I don’t like idiots and fools and this company is full of them. And because I run my mouth about it…I’m hated.”

Kayla offers a chuckle, with no shortage of arrogance behind it as she clutches the Internet title.

”Hell, you pointed out everything wrong with the SCW landscape. You are undefeated, overlooked and pushed aside while others get handed the spotlight. Tempest and Zoey Lukas are barely around yet they get handed opportunities in the queen for a bday. Bea Barnbhart and Alexandra Callaway can’t even lace up your boots yet they get chances at Roulette gold. Mercedes Vargas gets thrown into every big name high profile match despite not having been relevant in close to a decade.”

“Then there’s Ariana, someone we both see eye to eye on. So, after I beat her I went searching for an opponent and your name was on the shortlist of those I wanted to face.”

“Then you opened your mouth.”

“And from that moment I knew you were the one I wanted to give a shot to. And make no mistake, while you are undefeated and while you have earned it by being undefeated and getting my attention, I am giving it to you, because without me you wouldn’t even be on the Supercard. So…you know…”

“You’re welcome”

“But what about me hmm? Tell me Aleesha, you mentioned me by name but do you really know what you’re getting into with a match against Kayla Richards? See, it’s easy for people to look at me and fall into the usual trap. Saying I’m a bitch, a liar, a cheater. Saying that I take shortcuts and then spouting off some nonsense about how they’re better than me because of it. But, what do you really see with me?”

She pauses, waiting for an answer that will never come.

”I am one of the very few women on this roster that is honest. I will tell you right now, I will do anything and everything to keep this championship. I’ll cheat, take shortcuts, pull hair, poke you in the eye, I’ll do it all Aleesha. And the thing is, it’s on YOUR to stop me, it’s on YOU to make sure you can beat me. Something very few women have ever been able to do. See, I have been dominant everywhere I have gone. IWF, NGW, Project Honor, Hybrid, PWE…everywhere. So it’s not really shocking that I came to SCW and found success.”

“Now, you’re probably wondering, if I’m such a horrible bitch why haven’t I looked at you, pointed out flaws, either real or made up and tried to throw you under the bus with some kind of cheap comment? Why haven't I taken the low “mean girls” style road with you? Well, Aleesha, it’s simple really.”

“I don’t have to.”

“I don’t have to tear you down with fake bullshit and lies. Everything I have ever said about my opponents has been true. Tearing down people like Keira, Ariana and others, it’s been for a reason. It’s been straight up truth and honesty. So allow me to be honest with you. You can beat me, you absolutely can. You’re not like Ariana where it would be a fluke. You have talent, and you have proved that. And that is one of the reasons why I chose you. Because I am sick of waiting for this company to put the best in the ring with me. Whether that is an established star and former world champion, or an up and coming undefeated star in the making like you…”

She grits her teeth together and steps back clearing her throat and shaking her head, her long black hair flowing side to side.

”Now, just because you can beat me. Will you? That is the ultimate question isn’t it? The whole Dreamkiller thing I have going on, it is just a name but names have power. You have all these dreams, to be a champion, to be noticed. I’ll kill those dreams as well as one more. You said during your little moment on Climax Control 369 that you were going to be remembered as the “baddest bitch” in the division. That dream ends…”

“Cause you can’t have that title or the Internet title as long as I hold them.”

“I’m the Baddest Bitch in this company, I have been since day one. I will beat the shit out of you, stomp your head in cheat to beat you then laugh in your face when I’m done and you complain. But, Violent conduct will be your grand coming out party. The moment where Aleesha Jones gets noticed for being undefeated and gets a championship opportunity. It’s just too damn bad that it’s also the moment that it all gets taken away.”

Happy Birthday to….me?

A few weeks ago

It had been a rough few days away. Knowing what was on the horizon for me. Knowing what weaker was and the fact there are some people who wouldn't let me forget. But all I had to do was avoid the phone calls from my family. My mother, my brother, both my sisters. I did love them I knew I loved them but at the same time this was something that I always hated every single year. Strangely, part of me believed that maybe, just maybe they had got it through their heads that I didn't want anything to do with this. Tasman was usually the first, the first one to call me or text me, the first one to try and send me a birthday present. But I had gotten nothing, there was a small streak of light at the end of the tunnel that made me believe that finally they were going to drop it.

I was tired, stepping off the plane and through the airport after flying back from the latest SCW show. But now I was back home, back in New York and ready to drive home, back to a place where I could walk into my room and shut the door behind me and drift off into my own little world. Eat some fattening snacks and watch television, that is honestly all I wanted.

Walking down towards the exit looking up and seeing Finn waiting for me, it made me happy, and made me smile that I tried to hide beneath my usual annoyed body language. I had grown tired of letting him know that seeing him made me happy, not just for me and my benefit but also for his. He didn't need to know that, he didn't need to see that I was physically excited and happy to just see him after hay had been away. It wasn't fair to him and it wasn't fair to me .But on this occasion I couldn't help it, I gave him a small smile and a nod as he reached down to take my bag, I followed him out towards his car not a word needed to be said between us. At least, not until we were comfortable and driving back from the airport in the horrible traffic and needing to entertain ourselves.

I sat down in the passenger seat and looked to my left, sitting in the center console was a can of lemon drop bang energy. I shook my head and smiled as Finn sat down and picked up his own can popping it open and taking a sip. ”You know me so well…” I gave him a small smile popping my own can open and drinking some down as fin started the engine, kicking it over he reversed and got out of the parking lot as fast as possible. He hates traffic as much as I do.

A few minutes pass, there is silence between us, but we have become so comfortable in our relationship that no words need to be said. Finn couldn't help but smile lightly as he turned looking at me as we came to a set of traffic lights. ”So, uh…Happy birthday.” I visibly winced, my heart sinking to my stomach as I felt sick. Finn noticed, clearing his throat with a cough.

”Thanks…”

I spat the word out, part of me meant it. Happy that he at least remembered and for some reason appreciated my birthday. It was a strange feeling, enjoying hearing those words come out of someone's mouth. But it was still awkward, it was still something that I didn't want to happen and I didn't need to happen. We sat in silence for the rest of the trip, moving into the parking garage underneath the large apartment complex. We came to a stop and before I was able to get out, Finn stopped me. ”Look, I….I know why you hate your Birthday and I get that….I really do…” He paused, I swallowed and looked away. ”I’m not going to make a big deal out of it…but I did get you something…” He reached into his pocket, pulling out a small box.

”You didn’t have to-” He put his hand up and shook his head placing it in my hand. I gave a small nod, I got it and I got why he was giving me this here, away from prying eyes. I opened the box and smiled. A small necklace, not too expensive or gaudy. Just a simple gothic cross. One I had been looking at before I left.

”You deserved something, hell you don’t even have to think of it as a birthday gift, just a welcome home gift.”

”Thank you…”

He smiled, moving back and opening his door as I followed. I still had a feeling of dread in my stomach, a strange pain that shot up through my body. We moved toward the elevator, all I wanted to do was eat and sleep. Forget about the day except for the few moments I just had. We raised up to the floor, moved through the small hallway and as Finn opened the door there was more dread boiling up from the pit of my stomach.

It was dark and silent. Confusing really considering the amount of people staying here. Finn grumbled and reached over turning the lights on. The sight in front of me making my heart stop.

I heard a gasp escape from Finn, time slowed. Balloons, banners, food and drinks, and people. Lots of people. Then a chorus of voices shouting at me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

I felt sick, feeling that level of sadness and frustration boil up from my insides caused my entire body to shake. I swallowed, my eyes welled up in tears and my hands closed into fists as I felt my nails dig into the palms of my hands to the point of bleeding. The seconds that I stood there felt like ours as everyone stared at me, waiting for some kind of answer. Everyone who knew Finn people who knew me, even my sisters who should have known better. They all stood in the kitchen around the counter staring at me. My feet slid backwards, before I knew it I was heading toward the door.


I saw her face, Emily, it was filled with happiness. She knew damn well what she was doing, she knew damn well what she accomplished, my total and utter embarrassment. I was almost impressed with the level of petty shit that it took for her to go against my wishes and fins wishes in throwing me a party .She'd overheard the conversation and somehow, someway fooled everyone into believing that she was doing it out of the kindness of her heart and that I would enjoy it.

I wasn't even that angry at her. Angry at those who knew me well enough to know that I would hate this, still agreeing to turn up and not even tell me about it beforehand. Finn looked over at me, his eyes filled with worry that I could understand. And if it were just that feeling, if it were just him being afraid of what I was going to do to all of these people and what I was going to say then I could handle it.But there was something else, something other than worry and fear that filled his eyes. Something that I couldn't and wouldn't abide by.

Pity.

He pitied me. He pitied what I had become and what I let myself go through. He pitied the fact that I could not enjoy my birthday all because of some horrible moment that happened to me 15 years ago. And while I understood it, while I could see the foolishness that letting the moment have power over me meant, I refused to allow him of all people to pity me. He stepped forward opening his mouth to say something.

”Kayla I-”

But it was too late, I wasn't going to listen to what he had to say, I couldn't. I couldn't listen to the excuses or any apologies. I couldn't listen to the reason why this happened and I would not stand there and be made a mockery of. I turned on my heels grabbing hold of my suitcase that still sat next to the front door. I moved through it and down the hallway toward the elevator, feeling the tears rolling down my cheeks I refused to look back as I heard footsteps behind me. They were not going to see me cry, they were not going to see the emotions that they wanted to. I wasn't going to give that satisfaction to that little blonde bitch.

I let the elevator doors close. And the second I was away from them, the dam broke. I felt myself lean against the wall and slide down to the floor, I was shaking, I was crying.

I was broken.

Which one are you?

There was a growl, under her breath. She was trying not to be angry. See, anger makes you unfocused. It takes over and pushes your boundaries away. In a game like this, the mental and physical game of professional wrestling, well, you need to be focused. You need to be in control

”So, where oh where have I been? I mean it’s not often that a champion just up and disappears. So, I suppose it would be fair to ask where the hell has the Sin city wrestling Internet champion been over the last month and some change. And, I think it’s fair for me to answer that. And, it;’s simple. I’ve been…”

“At home.”

“That's it that is the answer to the question. I've been at home. For the last month and some change I have been sitting on my well shaped arse at home watching and waiting. Waiting for what i'm sure a lot of you are asking yourselves. Well waiting for a phone call, waiting for an email, a letter, a fucking carrier pigeon. Something to inform me when my next match was going to be. I've been ready to defend this championship against anyone and everyone the entire time I've been sitting at home and I have had nothing.Nothing at all. Now, some of you are going to sit there and say maybe I should have turned up at climax control and plead my case, go out in front of the crowd and throw out an open challenge. And to those of you I have one thing to say.”

“No.”

“See, I told this company last time they did this to me that I was not going to beg and plead for them to book me on a show. And this time you'd think they would have realized it was a bad idea and they would have had me in some kind of match or would have had something for me. Shit,  they could have put me on commentary for some kind of contenders match but, that would take forethought and actual thinking and planning things that this company isn't exactly known for these days.”

She lets out a scoff under her breath before tutting and throwing her hands in the air. Frustration thy name is Kayla Richards.

”I am not someone that is going to just turn up to these shows and sit in catering and wait to be noticed. I am not someone who is going to beg and plead to be put on the show or to be given promo time. I am the Internet championI have one of the best winning percentages of any one in this company. I have beaten Hall of Fame caliber professional wrestlers and I have stood up constantly when this company has needed me only to be forgotten about and sent home like nothing. And then a supercard rolls around and they realize that they need me. They need me to sell tickets and put butts in seats.”

“And how do I know this I hear you ask?”

“Well, it's rather simple. When was the last time you all saw me? It was at the last supercard where they put me in the ring with Laura Phoenix. They put me in the ring with Laura and she tried everything she could, all of the knowledge that she had accumulated over her 60 or 70 years of life went into trying to beat me, and she failed. And what was my thanks for putting the old dog out of her misery? Well she got to mouth off on Twitter and I got sent home. And it dawned on me, that is why I got sent home. That's why I suddenly disappeared from Sin City Wrestling Television Because I dared to put a halt to their stupid little redemption story.”

“This entire company loves a good comeback story. All you have to do is look at what happened with Roxi. They love it when a star from the past is able to come back and reclaim some of that glory and while Laura Phoenix is not a star of the past in this company she is a star of the past in professional wrestling as a whole. So they wanted her to step up and become a champion again in this company so they could trot her out like some kind of god damn aging show pony and make it look like she could still go. And I rained on their parade.”

Kayla can't help but smile, a twinkle in her eye as she extends her left hand upward in a symbolic gesture. She takes a deep breath, exhaling and turning back toward the camera front on. Her right hand now reaching down to pick up the Sin City Wrestling Internet championship title belt she looks at it before placing it over her shoulder, gripping it tightly as she adjusts her posture.


”This company is holding me back, holding me back from what I'm capable of. I'm now a three time Sin City Wrestling Internet champion and the truth is that I should have been moved up to compete for the big title instead of being pushed back into this position. But, since I am in this position and since I'm having to face all of these people like Laura Phoenix then I'm going to make the best of it. Any time I booked to defend this title or be in a match I am going to turn up and verbally, mentally and physically eviscerate any one that you put in front of me.”

“And since I have been booked to defend my championship on that stupid cruise liner, I think it's only appropriate that I look at who I am facing. See, last year I was put in that roulette ultimate X over the pool fiasco, I lost the match without actually losing the match. I got dropped in the pool all because people think it's funny. “Ohh ha ha hot girl got wet ha ha beat chest make ape sounds Yada Yada Yada.” However, this year I get to return as a champion to defend my title. And just as I was getting excited about the prospect of being featured on a supercard I looked at who I was facing. And instantly all of that happiness and confidence turned to frustration, anger, despair and a sudden need to cause violence and pain on this person.”

“Dawn Warren.”

“The sad parties, it's not even your fault dawn. It's not your fault that you've been put in this position. You've had a little bit of success here and suddenly you get thrown to the wolves. Part of me feels sorry for you, the other part of me is going to enjoy destroying you. But before we get to that I have to get a few things off my chest and maybe address the elephant in the room. Many people are going to sit there and they're gonna try to compare you and I because we both come from professional wrestling families. I have an older brother and older sister and a younger sister who have had varying degrees of success in this business.”

She pauses for a moment and shakes her head with a laugh underneath her breath.

”But, in my family we all have distinct personalities and different degrees of success. In yours all I have to ask is, which one are you? I sit there and I read your family tree and all the people that you happen to latch on to and I have to ask the obvious question here of who gives a shit? Who cares who your brother is? Who cares who your former sister-in-law is? You come from a family of people who are more known for their failures than they ever have been for their success. And all you've done is add to that legacy. You walk into this place calling yourself the pink puppy and bouncing around all over the place happy and wanting to do your best and make every one believe in you. You try and play the classic underdog story but the underdog needs to be able to win. The underdog needs to be able to take those steps to being the best and to proving that they are the best. The underdog needs to inspire people, inspire them to be greater than they are inspire them to believe in themselves and the only thing you seem to inspire is my fucking gag reflex.”

“Everyone as of late has been talking about their story and how it continues on what their end will be. Hell, we had some one who decided to finally retire and get the hell out of this company returned because they apparently had unfinished business. That's all we've heard lately. But this isn't a story. This isn't a fairy tale where good triumphs over evil and people like you rise up to be the greatest of all time despite every one holding you down. This isn't a story where you get to face adversity and win just because you're a good person with a pure heart who gets to fight and survive and do everything that they possibly can to be the best. Because in this world Dawn….. I am the best. If this was a video game, I would be the final boss. But unlike a video game you lose to me and it's all over.”

“At summer xxxtreme you are getting a chance at a championship that you truthfully did not earn. You get a chance at something that is out of your grasp and I know that you'll do everything in your power to get ahold of it, and that is admirable.”

“This is reality and when reality comes up and bites you it bites hard. You can come out with all the emotionally charged positive messages that you can find. You can go to your failure of brother and ask for advice, you can ask your little girlfriend to help you out and believe in you. You can even go to your former sister in law who has had some success in this company and try and leach off of her stardom. But you will figure out something that I figured out a long time ago. When you walk down to that ringand you are facing someone else that bell rings and you are all alone.”

She sneers, stepping back and clearing her throat.

”With someone like me Dawn, I learned that and accepted it and prefer that. I prefer the feeling of being all alone. Then there is nobody that I can let down except for myself and that is when it becomes unacceptable. And the sad truth of this entire thing is I'm not excited for this match i'm not excited about it because I think you can beat me, I'm not excited about it because I feel like I'm putting all of this effort into a situation where someone is better than me, I'm not excited because I'm going up against someone who has no business being in a professional wrestling ring with me. I'm not excited because you are not a challenge. I'm not excited because you could never be a challenge. And at summer xxxtreme I'm gonna prove it when I take your head clean off your shoulders and I hold it up for the world to see, exposing you as nothing but a fame leaching little girl who took a wrong turn on the way to college.”

Chapter 19: The art bof trying not to snap

My eyes fluttered open, I didn’t want to get up. My entire body hurt. It had been two days after the triple threat match, two days after losing a championship I put so much time and effort into, losing a title I tried to make matter. And even though the woman who now held it deserved a chance to make it mean something and deserved respect…

The fact I lost without losing had made me angry in a way I wasn’t expecting.

The usual aches and pains from the match seemed amplified by the anger and frustration.

The night before I had laid in an ice bath, staring at the ceiling as I waited for the pain and inflammation to fade away, pulling myself out of the elevated porcelain tub I looked at myself in the mirror, studying my body in detail. Looking over every single red patch, light yellow and purple bruises dotted parts of me. I couldn’t help but laugh. I was in the best physical shape of my life, just entering what they call “wrestlers prime”. An age where your body was mature enough to match up with all the experience you had been able to gather.

I should be at the top of the card. Dominating everyone. But instead I was standing naked in my bathroom, studying my body like it was a roadmap of failure.

I was spiralling.

Laying in bed and watching the sunlight creep in. I didn’t want to get up, I didn’t want to face the day. I didn’t want to exist. But, I pulled myself up, sliding to the floor and standing up. I needed coffee, I needed food. I threw a shirt on and opened the door, moving down the hallway to the kitchen. It was quiet. I don’t think anyone else was home. Although, in this giant apartment we were largely able to stay out of each others way.

I flicked on the coffee machine, putting a capsule in and placing my cup under the spout. It was strange, not seeing Dikcie and Aiden being idiots, seeing Kallie trying so hard to be loving and supportive while resisting the urge to slap Aiden. Or seeing Miles sitting in the corner, texting Carter. It was good not seeing Finn, not because I had a problem with him, but because wherever he was she would follow.

And I was happy to not see Emi-

”Oh Hi you’re up!”

Fuck

It was like a stone dropped from my heart to the pit of my stomach, I was at home, alone, with the bubblehead. Finn had asked me to be nice to her, to tolerate her. And I had been trying. Trying so hard to just grin through all the anger I had. I turned to face her and gave a small nod before pouring the milk in to my coffee. I leaned against the kitchen counter, trying to put it across that I clearly wasn’t in the mood to talk or play nice. Even Tasmin had tried to give me the same advice, just to kill her with kindness.

However, all I wanted to do was the first part of that little saying. She moved around and gave a little hum tossing one of her teabags into a cup. It was tea, or so it said. But it smelled like a fruit candy, strawberry mixed with sugar or high fructose corn syrup. My stomach turned. My mother would have tossed those things out and scolded Emily for thinking this was, in any way, shape or form tea.

Emily smiled faintly and cleared her throat. ”How are you feeling Kayla?”

”Fine”

I was blunt. Sharp. As straight as I could be. I’d like to thinki she would get the hint. Everyone else would. Everyone else would feel the icy glare or feel the sharpness of my tongue and know it was time to simply back away. But not her. Not this twit who had invaded my life. ”Are you sure? Finny said you might be cranky…you know…since you lost and didn’t have a title anymore.”

I took a deep breath, I closed my eyes and took a sip of my coffee. It was ok, she doesn’t understand the stupidity of the things that come out of her mouth. I can forgive stupidity. Or so I told myself.”I’m sore, I’m tired…but I’ll be fine.” I took another sip and cracked my neck. Emily gave another nod and for a split second, for a fleeting, glorious, happy moment. I thought she got it.

I was wrong.

”Ahh, ok, good I guess. Finny was wrong then, he said it meant so much to you and he said you’d probably be down. But if it’s fine I guess I was right and it didn’t matter…” She gave a small hum and sipped her fruit flavored abomination.

I ground my teeth together and that seemed to be the last straw. That one little comment at the end. That it didn’t matter. ”Well, it did matter. It does matter. But I don’t feel the need or want to talk to you about it, since you don’t know what it’s like. To be a champion, to know you’re better and to prove it, then to have it taken away. Finn..he knows…so if I wanted to talk to anyone about it. Well.” I moved forward, a small smiled coming across my lips. ”It would be with him…in private..”

She seemed shocked, I finished my coffee and breezed past her, I could feel it, her eyes burning through my back. She was angry, she was offended. And I didn’t care. I was done playing nice with her. With this whole situation. And now, she was going to see that there is one rule above all you have to follow.

Don’t fuck with Kayla Richards

Rematch.

”Sweet dreams are made of these…”

She chuckles. Whether or not she was referencing the original or, more than likely the cover by Marilyn Manson is not known. What is known is that there seems to be something different about Kayla. Maybe it was some confidence missing. Maybe it was an anger or frustration inside her.

”So, here I am, Titleless. A fact that I am sure so many of you are happy with. A fact that Ariana Angelos has been so happy about, despite the fact she was the one who lost. Not me. She was the one who let herself get beaten by Melissa. She was the one who didn’t fight hard enough, who didn’t want it bad ernough. But, I am not completely blameless. See, I failed too, I failed to stop the madness. I failed to stop Melissa from beating Ariana. I failed to keep the match going and I failed to win.”

“But, I still watched my title reign end because of someone else. Six months of blood, msweat and tears. Six months of being the Internet champion and showing the world what mattered. Six months of dragging that title up to prestige after the muck it was left in.”

“I did that. Me. And it was ended all because someone was in the match who did not deserve to be. And I get it. Some of you, usually friends of Ariana, are probably tired of hearing it. But it’s just facts. She shouldn’t have been in the match. I beat her, I amended her. And in the end what happened? I told the world she was a liability. That she would cost me and then the company and she did…”

“And now we all have to pay for it.”

“The saddest part about all this, is if I was beaten one on one, by Melissa, well I would be fine with it. But we were robbed of that big moment. Robbed of me going into a match as the champion and her as the challenger to settle it. We had a third wheel, a squeaky wheel who ended up falling over because she simply couldn’t hold the weight.”

Kayla growls and folds her arms over her chest. She wears a black biker jacket, tight black skinny jeans, converse and a black and red band shirt featuring a logo that is close to impossible to read.

”And now, here we are. I was ready to move on. As a two time Internet champion and someone who restored the title to the prestige it needed after the dark times of “she who shall not be named lest she whine on twitter and threaten a comeback”, I wanted to step up. Not to the roulette title mind you, as that would be a step down, not up. So, I wanted to start off strong, maybe go for the Bombshells title…”

“But, instead, because of people doubting Melissa could beat me one on onje and only won because of Ariana, we have to run it back.”

“Now, I know what you’re all thinking.

“You all think I’m going to agree right? Say that Melissa can’t beat me. That she got lucky? No, no I’m noit. See, she already proved she was better than a lot of people gave her credit for. Shit, I showed her respect. And trust me on this, that rarely happens. So the whole reason this match hasd to happen, the whole reason why Melissa has to defend that title against me and the whole reason why I am going to get a chance is because of Ariana…”

“Admittedly I should of had a shot anyway..”

She chuckles and rolls her eyes.

”I held the title over a hundred days, I showed you all what a champion should be. I should of had that rematch in my pocket, but I was prepared to walk away. To let Melissa have her time in the sun and to be Internet champion. See, she could beat me, she has it in her. She could be the champion for a long time. But, now I feel the need to prove a point. I feel the need to stand up and say that Ariana was the reason I lost, Ariana was the reason Melissa won and to take that title back. As much as I respect what Melissa is capable of I think maybe some of you have had the wrong idea…”

“I can beat Melissa…”

“I can beat anybody.”

“And this week…I prove it..”