Post by: J.D. Phoenix on December 20, 2013, 11:25:29 AM
With an unsuccessful debut for The Princess of Kickass, J.D. Phoenix, of course in the moment, she felt like crap. She felt like there were a many of people who counted on her yet in the end --she failed everyone. But a couple pep talks cheered her up in no time. That's what pep talks were for, right? Tell a guy with the face of an SOS pad and the body of a Twinkie that you think he's attractive. He'll be the happiest motherfucker in the entire world! ...And even though Miss Phoenix lost her match, she still managed to spread smiles across her and everyone else's faces. However, with the end of the week comes the beginning of a new one and another special Holiday special was established and this week? J.D. had her hands filled. She was thrown into a Six Bombshell Tag Team Match and her opponents were one half of the Bombshell Tag Team Champions, Vixen and Vixen's partners were the ever so closely at winning the Tag Titles, --the FoShan Bombshells. And J.D.'s team? Well when you put two emo weirdos together, you get The Fallen, but more specifically the current Bombshell Champion-- Gothika and her usual partner, Diamond. So if you wanted to put all these six women in a movie depicting cliques in High School? You got The FoShan Bombshells, the girls who understand Pre-calc like it's the back of their hands, and you got Vixen who's propped up tits in a push-up bra is a nerd's next wet-dream. But don't forget The Fallen, who would be the two bitches in the bathroom smoking cigarettes and with pierced back dimples or some shit and last but not least, you got J.D. Phoenix-- the tomboy and girl skateboarder who's good at two things in the wrestling world. Taking names and most importantly kicking ass.
Located in what looks like a Winter wonderland fa sho has all the things Christmas related. In the corner of the room is a gigantic lit up Christmas tree with presents all around the base, and there are stockings lined up on the walls, filled up with goodies. However the best part of if it all was the two huge thrones located in the center of the room. One was bigger than the other, but it would be soon before you found out why.
"HO HO HO!"
The door swings open and it is none other then the main man himself, Santa Claus. He comes in with outfit, glasses, beard, and fat gut in check as walks over to his throne, and sits down but it still leaves the smaller throne left to him, empty.
SANTA CLAUS - I wonder where Mrs. Claus might be. Oh where is she?!
It took no time later before Mrs. Claus jumped into the room from the door, with an ugly Christmas dress on and gray curly hair to match. She rocked her mini glasses with style as she walked over to hug Santa before sitting down.
MRS. CLAUS - Oh hello honey! What is in store for us today?!
SANTA CLAUS - The boys and girls of Sin City Wrestling are having a huge Christmas show and I just HAVE to be here to see it! Oh, it will be a great time. [Santa laughs] ...HO HO HO!
MRS. CLAUS - Well maybe while you're here, you can see who's been naughty and who's been nice, don't ya think?
SANTA CLAUS - Oh yes, honey, you are correct!
Santa then scoots his fat ass a little forward before reaching down underneath his huge throne, pulling out a rolled up piece of paper before he sits back and begins to unravel the paper, adjusting his glasses and reading off of it.
SANTA CLAUS - Hmm, let's start with the ladies. OH! These six girls will be facing each other in a tag team match tonight. Starting with Vixen. Naughty or Nice?
MRS. CLAUS - Hmm, I would definitely say nice! What a beautiful young woman with a perfect smile.
SANTA CLAUS - Those double D cookies of hers are perfect as well.
Santa begins to laugh but the pervert joke goes right over Mrs. Claus head, and she joins in on the laughter.
SANTA CLAUS - Okay next, here are Vixen's tag team partners. The FoShan Bombshells, Song and Orchid. Naughty or nice?
MRS. CLAUS - Oh, they are women of much peace and calmness. They are very disciplined which means it is obvious they are nice!
SANTA CLAUS - It's almost funny because right before I came here, I stopped by Dragon Chinese Food, and I could swore I saw two girls who looked exactly like this! But oh, all those women look the same however making food that delicious? They definitely are nice!
Santa once again busts out in his " Ho ho ho " laugh and the racist comment from him doesn't phase Mrs. Claus because she chuckles along with her husband.
SANTA CLAUS - Now, who do we have here? The Fallen. Gothika and Diamond. Naughty or Nice?
MRS. CLAUS - Well, first of all, Christmas isn't about "darkness" and these girls obviously love that. They seem like they'd be happy with coal in their stockings. I'd say naughty.
SANTA CLAUS - Naughty is correct. Looking at their faces from above the North Pole, they look like they've sat in darkness too damn long, honestly.
Santa is obviously getting a kick out of his own self but this mean comment makes him laugh even louder and harder than he had before. The whole concept of "stick by your man, no matter what," really was a big deal for Mrs. Claus because no matter how rude the comments were, she laughed with Santa.
SANTA CLAUS - And last on the list is, ...J.D. Phoenix! Naughty or nice?
MRS. CLAUS - Oh my Elfness, this woman has way too many tattoos! Can you imagine how she'll look when she turns 80 with all of that ink?! I am shivering in my snow boots just thinking about it. This one is definitely naughty.
SANTA CLAUS - Hmm, I think she's nice. It's not everyday you see a tooshie like that! Small but round, like a little onion!
" Damn Santa, the way you talkin' makes me wonder if I should call 5-0! "
Emerging from the side of the door is none other than J.D. Phoenix who was decked out in knee high candy cane stockings, with shorts on, and with green Vans on, and a cut-off white t-shirt that read "DOPE GIRL" on the front, but the perfect item that complimented the outfit was the beanie that she was wearing that actually had real Christmas lights on it! She walks towards Santa and snatches his Santa hat off of his head and begins to run around the room with it as he fidgets to get it back.
SANTA CLAUS - Now, I already said you were nice! So please give me my hat back before I change you to naughty!
J.D. begins to toss Santa's hat up in there and catching it as she doesn't take one look at Santa.
J.D. PHOENIX - Nizzle, the only thing naughty is that hot ass breath of yours, let me tell you.
J.D. laughs but Santa is just pissed off and then finally she walks over to Santa putting her hand forward with his hat, but when he reaches for it, she swiftfully pulls her hand back and says, "Too slow!" She laughs again as she then walks over to the Christmas tree, pulling out the biggest gift and then sitting on it, while she look at the Claus couple.
J.D. PHOENIX - I don't know where SCW found you knock-offs but Santa, the things you're sayin' has me thinking that instead of dropping off gifts at people's houses, you're whipping out your licorice stick and beating off to the mother laying upstairs sleep, with her hubby on the side of the bed! I mean damn bro, if you aren't perverted, you're racist. If you're not racist, you're just a straight up a-hole! Ya gotta get it together, San'. I wouldn't want my son, Lil' Jace, ever meeting you.
Santa clears his throat to start explaining his weird actions but before he can, J.D. cuts him off.
J.D. PHOENIX - Plus Santa, you're wack anyways. I stopped believing in your ass when I was 8. Remember that Donkey Kong game I asked you to get me for Nintendo 64?
SANTA CLAUS - J.D. I- -
J.D. PHOENIX - WELL YOU'RE RHINOCEROS ASS DIDN'T GET IT FOR ME! ...Maaaaan, I wanted that shizz so bad and you came up short. But aye, lookin' at you, I'm sure you're no stranger to comin' up short right, Mrs. Claus?
Mrs. Claus shrugs her shoulders before nodding her head a little and this comes to a surprise for Santa, who's eyes get big in embarrassment.
J.D. PHOENIX - But fozizzit, all of that. See, tonight I gotta huge match. Last week, I lost again Jade Two-Last Names, but I ain't trippin' anymore cause this tag match is a big match for me! All the girls in it are gonna put up a good fight but my opponents, good enough to beat The Princess of Kickass? I don't think so. But I'm not doubting them one bit because with the weirdos I'm teamed with, anything could happen. They could turn their backs on me for all I know and just leave me out there by myself! But if they did that, I'd whoop their asses without a doubt, even if I get jumped.
J.D. then jumps to her feet as she begins to walk over to a stand but calls out as she walks.
J.D. PHOENIX - Don't be checkin' out my ass Santa. I don't get down with fat asses and senior citizens.
J.D. then walks over to Santa's cookies and takes one, beginning to eat it. As she turns around, Santa practically yells at her.
SANTA CLAUS - Hey, ....those are mines!
J.D. PHOENIX - Son, look down at that gut. You really think you need anymore of these?
J.D. laughs before swishing her blonde hair out of her face.
J.D. PHOENIX - Shizz, ...where's the drinks?
J.D. walks over to the glass of milk picking it up and as she puts the glass to her mouth, she walks back to Santa but this time Santa is more pissed off.
SANTA CLAUS - Stealing my hat! Insulting me! Eating my cookies, drinking my milk! You really deserve to be on the naugh-
J.D. SPITS THE MILK OUT ONTO SANTA'S FACE!
Santa immediately begins to squirm around as Mrs. Claus screams, trying to help out her husband. J.D. laughs as she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, heading towards the door to exit.
J.D. PHOENIX - Sorry Santa, ...you sounded thirsty.
J.D. then jumps in the air, heel clicking before running out of the room, leaving a distraught Mrs. Claus and a pissed off Santa Claus, watching the spitty milk from his face as the scene fades