Post by: Max Burke on January 08, 2013, 09:37:20 PM
Trevor: You know man I had never ever heard of a falafel but these things are tasty. Kind of like hushpuppies.
Max: You think most things kind of taste like hushpuppies...
Trevor: You saying I don't have culture?
Max just looks at Trevor and Trevor starts to laugh.
Trevor: Yeah I am just messing with ya....I know I have culture man! So how about them promos Blood Omen put out?
Max: They sound a tad bit pissed off. They need to get their panties out of a wad.
Trevor: Yep, pretty harsh. Those boys really think we are walking into some kind of slaughter fest.
Max: Well then they are in for a brutal awakening this Sunday.
Trevor: Well shoot man, I know that... but it got me thinking. What would it be like if we cut promos like Kain.
Both men put down their forks and look to be thinking deep thoughts....
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Max and Trevor sit in a dimly lit room. Shadowy figures can be seen around them and both men have guns to their heads. The guns belong to the most mafioso looking goons the world has ever created. Max and Trevor look at each other.
Max: Wow, this is all pretty intense for a wrestling promo.
Trevor: Don't screw it up man, it is all about intensity. You just have to stare with your best angry look at start talking... here like this.
Trevor stares down the audience with a cold hard look.
Trevor: This Sunday the Young Lions will be entering into a match with a team that has no idea what they are up against. I have watched everything Blood Omen has ever done... which is not hard because they have only been a team for a month and I find that they are overconfident and take themselves too seriously... they do not understand the hell they will be entering. It is going to be very hell like... with lots of pain. I am going to break them and make them cry like little girls. Just ask the Surf Boys how scary and dangerous entering the ring with the Lions can be. See? Like that man. Now you try.
Max takes a deep breath and stares furiously as he begins to speak. His voice is low and stern.
Max: Blood Omen... you stand no chance. You stand no chance at all. You are nothing. We will make you suffer. You will suffer like you have never suffered before! Your demise will be painful... extremely painful. We will walk out victorious. You will suffer defeat. We will be champions.
Trevor starts laughing until the mobster pressed the gun into his head. Trevor looks at the man, growls then elbows him hard. He steals the gun away and points it at the other guy.
Trevor: Yeah that's right... who has the gun now... don't ever get a firearm near an Ozark boy... everyone knows that.
Trevor starts shooting at the ground making mobsters dance as the scene fades out.
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We return to the buffet and both men are laughing. Trevor pops a falafel into his mouth and takes a drink of soda.
Max: I could not do that for a whole promo and keep a straight face. I just couldn't Trev. I almost want to pull a "Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman,
Be he live, or be he dead. I'll grind his bones to make my bread.
Trevor: Well Kain is an intense guy, that is kind of his deal. And hell all the things he has been through it makes sense. I just don't get why he is so mad at us. Maybe he has to be mad at someone before he can hit them. See me I don't need much of an excuse to fight.
Max: Well what about Frost... that kinda creeps me out.
Trevor: Yeah well you hate masks. That's your problem. Member when we fought those two guys in Ontario and you almost didn't want to touch them because they had masks that made it look like...
Max: Yeah... you can stop right there. You're right I don't like masks but it's more than that. He acts too weird, what if we cut promos like that.
Now, both men go back to thinking, but this time they both have knowing smiles as the scene fades in.
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Trevor and Max are now in a long dark shadowy hallway shrouded in darkness. The only light comes from flickering lights and odd sounds can be heard in the distance. Trevor is wearing a mask, Max is not.
Max: Take... that... damn thing off your head!
Max smacks Trevor and tries to get the mask off him. Trevor is fighting back.
Trevor: You're ruining it man... you're suppose to be mysterious.
Max gets the mask off and tosses it aside, Trevor is grinning from ear to ear. Max just glares at him for a moment then laughs as well. He tries very hard to be serious. Then turns to the camera.
Max: Challenge... it can be a transitive verb. It can also be an intransitive verb. Challenger is a noun. The Young Lions are the challengers going into this match. The Young Lions...
Max squints in the flickering lights. A new shot shows a large cue card next to the camera.
Max: Oh for crying out loud! I can't do this shit Trevor. I can't quote crap out of Merriam Webster. It's just not us. This is crazy. You try.
Trevor: A wrestling match is a noun... well two nouns I guess. It is a competitive fight where anyone involved in the match can win it. That means it is anyone's game. The Blood Omen are strong and have done well as a team. Many thought they would not work well but they have done so time and time again... but not nearly as often as the Lions. The Lions are hungry... it is true and this time their food will be bloody... ya know because of Blood Omen... see what I did there. A match means anyone can win and we have been making a habit of winning for a while now. Blood Omen may have had the victory the first time but true champions must do more then win a few matches. A day will come when history will speak of the Young Lions in terms much longer than two or three matches... and on that day Blood Omen will be a dim memory... see not bad.
Max: Yeah but it's not really our style. Not to mention these flickering lights are giving me a headache.
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We return to the buffet as Trevor is finishing up his plate. Max is signing an autograph for a young kid who had come up to their table.
Trevor: I still think you would look good in a mask.
Max: Oh be quiet. I don't know how people can wrestle in those things.
Trevor: Yeah yeah... I am going to get me some Mexican food.
Trevor shrugs and gets up to get another plate. Max finishes up the autograph. Once Trevor leaves Max eats some of his food then looks at the camera.
Max: Want to know how I would cut the promo?...Oh yeah 80's style...
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Cut to Trevor and Max in front of the SCW logo and an elderly, balding interviewer with a very cheesy grin on his face.
Interviewer: Hiya folks! I’m here today with Max and Trevor of the Young Lions. You guys are going after the champs, Blood Omen at New Year Rising. What are your thoughts going into the match?
Max flashes his pearly whites before beginning. Trevor looks on.
Max: Well, let me tell ya something buddy. Lions are predatory by nature. We’ve crossed the plains, day and night, from dusk until dawn to stalk our prey. Kain and Frost are nothin’ but zebras. We’ll rip ya to shreds brother! And let me tell ya somethin’ else man. We hungry. We starvin’. You boys are gonna be snacks for these Lions. Tell ‘em Trev!
Max slaps Trevor hard on the chest. Trevor is breathing so heavy he’s basically snorting.
Trevor: BLOOD OMEN! PREPARE TO BE POOOOOOOOOOUNCED!