SCW Boards
Roleplay Boards => Archived Roleplays => Supercard Archives => Topic started by: JohnnyBrown on June 08, 2012, 11:42:01 AM
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Were ya starved of air as a kid? Did ya mum drop you on yer little bald peanut head when ya were a nipper? Did-
Chuck raise his tiny girl hands in defeat. Johnny Brown, the True Brit, The Embodiment of Cool Britannia, yada yada has made his point.
CS: Oooookayyyy I get it, you don’t want your little kick banned, but-
JB: Little kick? Banned? The Cupid Stunt isn’t a little kick; it’s a punt to end all punts. It’s a goal from the forty yard line only wiv someone[s ‘ead as the FOOTball. If you correct me by saying soccer I will give Tyler a demo of the Cupid using your shiny melon.
Annnd again Chuck raises both of his hands and steps back, submissive. He may as well roll onto his back and expose his belly like the bitch he is. The Alpha dog has shown his teeth. Unlike the stereotype this Brits teeth are white and not crooked. In the world of contracts and bull$hitters Chuck is an anomaly. Looking at the bald, sweaty, little tubby man you almost laugh to yourself, but therein lays the skill. He disarms you, not with an intimidating, suave look or a barrage of words. You look at him and think you’re in for a cake walk. But damn is he charming, the smiles the body language, the strangely small hands it all works on a subliminal level; worming its way into your mind. For some reason Johnny Brown is largely immune to his ways, perhaps it’s lost in translation.
JB: Kenny Everett would be spinning in his grave if I considered dropping me homage to ‘im cos some dumb arse news story about concussion awareness. Ya don’t get it I’m a bad guy, a heel, a rogue, a rascal. I’m supposed to hurt people it’s me job. Do you think Nick Jones, Tom Dudely or Matthew Kennedy worry about hurting people? No! Then why should I?--- Say sumink’ don’t just stand there with yer pinkie in the air?
CS: Kenney Everett???? Wasn’t he gay?
JB: And?
CS: You don’t exactly strike me as a gay friendly kinda guy!?
JB: I ain’t no friend of Dorothy; Up-Chuck. My Brown Wings has been earned on birds only. I’m not a sausage lover, I can’t even eat a savaloy or a banana without cutting it up first. But Kenny was a true brit all be it he was a shirt-lifter, I let you be my agent didn’t I?
CS: Errm Johnny I’m not g-
JB: Keep telling yerself that Chuck, I’ve seen the way you look at the promo shots of Wyatt Peterson. You do know despite the constant Brokeback cracks made by the rest of the roster he aint that way inclined! Back in Hicksville where he was found in a field and raised amongst cattle “queers” would be branded and hung from trees along side the darker fruits.
Or is that yer thing, ya wanna turn him?
CS: changing the subject that I’m not comfortable with, I thought we spoke about your accent? It has caused problems with our sponsors, we have to subtitle your promos and a lot of wrestling fans can’t read. Especially those that like Wyatt Peterson. This could harm the interest in your 6-man match at the pay-per-view.
JB: Do you know who Catherine Tate is? Have you ever met a dumd-f*ck chav who thinks they’re clever?
CS: What the-
JB: Am I bovvered? Does this face like bovvered? Face- bovvered- bovvered-face! I do what the feck I want! I’ll drop me haitches if I want, or I’ll talk with a plum in me mouth if I want- not that sort of plum yer perv, if you even think about chewing on me crown jewels I will pour bleech in yer ear and clean yer brain.
CS: I’m not g-
JB: I have taken this match as a personal favour to Tom Dudely, not cos I like him really, more cos I know how it feels to be betrayed. To give yourself to developing friendship, to helping out someone despite their obvious lack of brains or talent, then to have it thrown back in yer face.
CS: Do you miss Stu? I can call him, we can shoot a reunion?
JB: This aint Loose Women…
The SMU agent shrugs and mouths “No idea”
JB: And I aint Robbie Williams, I don’t want a reunion. My career is zooming ahead. Sure I should be in a world title match but Jones and the office have played it safe and cherry picked lesser contenders to present to the Cock of the Walk, but I aint ready to resort to cheap gimmicks to spark interest. I’m the Brand, the future of Sin-C-Dub. I’m a walking, shit-talking, ass-kicking Brit. My ‘omeland should be throwing party’s fer me not her maj, the monarchy is an out-dated institution and Johnny Brown is cutting edge.
I don’t pander to popular opinion, I’m the Prince Phillip of SCW I say what I mean an; mean what I say. Screw the PC brigade, Bo’s an injun, Wyatt’s a redneck hillbilly and Nick Jones is an uphill gardener… look it up… as spring whimpers out SCW can get ready for a Long British Summer. I predict periods of prolonged heat with scorching promo’s and read-hot battles.
Sin City Wrestling will live up to its name, pride, avarice, envy… all the sins will experience if not by my opponents, by the ‘fans’ as they witness an era unlike any other. Heads will be kicked in, Brit Knee’s will be dropped and a few Glasgow Kisses will be dished out. Wyatt Peterson an’ the Surf Boys will be a message…
A symbol of a new beginning, the old Johnny Brown down that arrived here a few months ago is dead an’ buried. He died in that poxy caravan when Bruti Smith stabbed me in the back. Like an Airware clad Phoenix I will rise from the ashes then kick ‘em in me opponents faces. SCW has been put on notice. Before 2013 is chimed in by Big Ben the Heavyweight title will be spray-painted red, white and blue the colour's of the only real flag the Union Jack.
I wouldn’t even wipe me arse on the star an’ stripes, it ain’t even good as loo roll, my $hit stripes would only improve its worth.
At Into the Void the good ole American Cowboy Wyatt Peterson is going on his last rodeo, I’ll lasso his hick arse, drag him out behind the metaphoric barn and shoot him in the head. Tom Dudely can hang his head on the wall as a trophy, I don’t care! I’m gonna take the big bull down and earn myself a big bonus form Tom fer me troubles.
As fer the Surf Boys, Narly and Radical personally I have no obvious disdain for them, sure they reek of Americana… over-cooked hotdogs, gun powder and crude oil just like their hoss of a partner but they are a pair o’ funny f*ckers. It’ll be a real shame if I cripple one of them with the E.D.L. or give them a permanent smile wiv’ the Chelsea Grin.
I’ve never liked surfing, tried it down at ?? back ‘ome, didn’t like it. That’s a lot of rubber for a grown man to wear if they’re straight. You’d like it Chuck.
CS: I’m not g-
For the record Chuck isn’t gay, his wife is a sexy hell cat. She oozes sex; if Chuckie can keep up with her. Word has it she has been the real deal closer a number of times, Were not talking car keys in a bowl then get a night of fun were talking take her home, let her play the rusty trombone , polish the glass bottom boat the works.
JB: Radical and Narly are gonna regret sticking they surfboards in my business.
CS: I told you to stay out of Tom Dudely’s vendetta against Wyatt, sure the money is good but you could be contending for a title rather than being a hired goon.
JB: I aint an effin goon. I’m The Brand. Everyone of tha dumb arse SCW Sinners will know that I aint a man ta be messed wiv. The Cowpokes shoulder is gonna be torn ta shreds. He’s come back too soon to stand toe ta toe wiv a man like me or Dudely, the beach bums with be stuck on the apron while me, Goth and The Jackal rip their team mate ta shreds. They got lucky at Climax Control sending us packing, that don’t mean $hit. That wasn’t a real match. They can dance all they want eventually they will have go fight us, not fight like they do wiv tha waves but fight like me and my team have since they day we were born.
I may not like me partners but I've faced them, exchanged blows, holds and blood, that has given me tha perspective ta respect their skills. Skills that Sherriff Suck and the Dudes don’t have.
A man like Tom Dudely wouldn’t hire a buncha brain dead meat bags, he taught Wyatt everything he knows but not everything Tom knows. Mr. Dudely has opened up his bag of tricks to us to give us every possible advantage, even though we don’t need help, what kinda idiot would turn it down?
CS: OK Johnny you’ve sold me, but still I have other concerns. When we at SMA took you on you were firing on all cylinders, the producers loved you. You had segments on every show as well as matches. Now you’ve disappeared. I’m busting my balls to get you sponsors and you’ve vanished? If you really want to be the biggest name in SCW you need to kick it into a higher gear.
JB: Don’t worry about it Chuckster, I’ve got a plan Winston Churchill would be proud of. Into the Void is just the start. Just fer you Chuckie I’ll sacrifice me opponents in yer name.
Someone’s gonna get their collective empty heads kicked in!