8. Angel of Death
Only for the weak
I was a soldier. A good little soldier too. I did what was asked. I even took some joy in it. Or at least I thought I did. In the ring we were like a pack of rabid dogs. Whatever the dark angel pointed at we made disappear. His enemies were many, his title reign became legendary. We would appear around the ring and we would all attack at once. He and his fake queen would watch and smile. Always smiling. The two brothers and I would attack and while they were tough, ultra violent men...the truth is they weren’t the ones to be feared….
I was.
I was the most dangerous.
See the brothers took joy in the pain they inflicted and laughed. They thought it was fun but they also knew when to stop. They knew any further and the risk outweighed the reward. But I. Well as I said in the ring we looked like a family. Behind all that I was treated as the family pet. The dog. Lower than dirt. The brothers took turns using me for their own pleasures. Occasionally the dark angel would come and congratulate me for keeping his disciples happy and well plied with the gift of flesh. He would give me kind words, a smile, a warm stroke with his palm on my cold, beaten flesh.
This was my place in life, my gift to them in the name of faith. Despite the violent nature and the talent for it I had shown week after week the dirty sad reality was that I was just a piece of meat. A warm hole for the brothers and the dark angel to unleash their aggression in when we were done. The stresses of the ring and the combat led them to need it and that was my job.
I didn’t care.
I felt nothing.
But then I started being given other jobs. Other targets. The dark angel, the blackened god. He called me his black widow. I was to use my looks, my youth to corrupt others, to lure them into a false sense of security. I was to break them from the inside. In fact the same man had once used my sister the same way. Amber had broken two men who dared cross him. This was my spot...my future. But there was one who I couldn’t do it too. I had no idea why. He refused to fall for my charms.
Even after we slept together. Something I was told not to do. Something that I never planned on. But he was different. Stronger. Sure of himself. Then it hit me, the reason why my charms didn’t work. Why my body wasn’t enough. He was in love. And even though I couldn’t feel it I knew. I had lost the battle for his soul…
I can't tolerate your sadness
Cause it's me you're drowning
I won't allow any happiness
'Cause every time you laugh, I feel so guilty
"I blame the needs that you feed
'Cause selfish eyes would not see"
Dallas Texas
6 Years Ago
No need for sympathy, it's only for the weak
The smile was on point as I flashed my teeth. My green eyes angled up to give a little sparkle. I pushed my arms together as I sat forward, my low cut singlet top allowing him access to look straight down it as I popped the end of my finger against my lips pouting them out. Seduction, thy name is Kayla. He smirked and shook his head picking up his drink giving it a small sip, the amber liquid going down his throat. I was still too young to drink.
My mind flashed back to the night before. The passion he showed. The strength, the control. He didn’t lose it with me, he was forceful but calm, arrogant but attentive. It was amazing. But this was a job. It was a mission. The dark angel had told me to take him off his game. Learn his motives. Make sure he had no soul to follow. But as I sat here staring into those sparkling blue eyes. His boyish grin behind the dark beard, there was something different. Something too strong to corrupt.
I reached out and took his hand, my thumb massaging his palm. I used all my tricks. My tongue darting out to run over my lips, a cherry red lip gloss over them making them not only shine but smell amazing. My eyelashes batted up and down, I giggled at his jokes, I smiled and made eye contact, my foot moved up and down his calf under the table. I did everything I could think of and more. But there was something…...off….
He stared at me, his head tilted, his voice low and gruff as he then laughed. Was he mocking me?. Was he onto me?. Did he sleep with me the night before just to prove that tonight I wasn’t the one with the power?. His eyes. Oh god his eyes. They were emotionless, a void. But not like mine. He had love behind them, a strong feeling of devotion and loyalty to someone to….her…..oh my god….I need to get out of here…. “Yes thank you for last night and tonight...I enjoyed it….” I got to my feet fast, leaning in to keep up the facade as I kissed his cheek. “Goodbye….Alex…..”
I turned and made my way out and past the rest of the bar patrons to the street, my high heels slamming against the concrete as my hands fumbled with my phone,my fingers dialled and I waited for him to pick up, he needed to know, he needed the information. My dark angel was being made a fool of, my loyalty to him was not in question, but to her?. The loyalty died….how dare she…
“Hello?.....yes I just left him…...no…..no….look listen, she isn’t what she seems Angel…..I could see it in his eyes...feel it….Alex Jones and A-.....yes...alright….of course I love you….”
PPresent Day
Knock Knock
Finally, I thought to myself, I tolled off the leather couch that sat against the wall of my hotel room, my feet shuffling on the carpet as I got closer to the door with my stomach rumbling. I was starving, and in hiding. I was avoiding Finn, although I’d never admit it. But right now my embarrassment and mental anxiety was taking a back seat to my hunger. ”It’s about fucking time, I ordered twenty five minutes-” I opened the door, my heart dropped as a lump formed in my throat. ”What the fuck are YOU doing here?”
”Well, that’s a lovely welcome…love you to sis.” Amber Richards, my older sister. The one who taught myself and Tasmin everything we know about wrestling and wanting to win. Of course, Tasmin never took anything Amber said to heart, but me? I did. I always did. ANd now here she was, my older sister, in the flesh. But why? My eyes were wide, my jaw open as Amber looked around the room. Her long black hair down and flowing close to her but, her pale complexion shining as the sun hit it. I never realised just how much she kind of looked like Kat Jones, but younger and more tattoos. I shook my head and ground my teeth together.
”Amber…wh-”
”This place looks like a bomb hit it Kay, what the shit?” She slid her hands into her pockets and chuckled.
I shook my head, still in shock. ”Im not going out there with the common rabble.”
Amber turned and tilted her head, giving me that oh so arrogant yet stern look, folding her arms over her chest and clicking heer tongue. ”You’re on tour, you’ve been here for like a day and a half.” She was judging me, I hate it, I hate being judged. She knows I hate being judged. ”So, hows your [/i]boyfriend?[/i] I sharply inhaled.
I swallowed hard and before I could stop myself and make some kind of shitty or witty remark I just blurted out the words ”I don’t have a boyfriend…”
”Oh Amber nodded slowly, moving around the small dining room table. Her fingers running along the glass as he stopped and looked up. ”So, that bad huh?”
My skin crawled and I ground my teeth together again. ”I really, really don’t want to talk about it, and I highly doubt you flew yourself all the way to India to roast me about my fucking love life…”
Amber gave a small nod and laughed. ”Well, you’re right. Tas sent me here, she said you needed “family support” for your big match. And honestly, I haven’t been able to travel in so long I needed it. I never wrestled in India, might even go talk to your bosses about a jo-”
”How about no…” I interrupted, I know she was joking, but stil. Us working together again? Me having to watch her go out there and effortlessly be the best? No thanks, I’ve seen that song and dance before. ”Thanks for stopping by, but I’m enjoying being all relaxed before said big match…so kindly fuck off yeah?” The Norwich came out of me as I titled my head, Amber just laughed and shrugged.
She gave me a tap on the shoulder and moved to the door. ”I’ll be around till the supercard. But, if you do want some advice, and you SHOULD listen to ne on this, you need to square away whatever it is that is going on with you and Finn….before your match against Keyra, Kamra…whatever her name is.”
I gave her a nod and waved my hand at her, I knew Amber was right, I knew it was good advice, and to be honest. All that did was piss me off. I looked at my phone, I wanted to call him, text him. Something. But this had to be done in person, and now I had no choice. ”FUCK
The problem with shadows.
”I’m sure so many of you are surprised.”
‘
Very slowly we fade in, no this isn’t a scene opening, this is a fade in shot, blurred and slowly coming into view. The outline of Kayla Richards comes into view. Her hand reaching out and her fingertip tracing around the top of a glass of water. Her black painted lips curling into a vicious grin as the lines become sharper and defined.
”Right? I actually beat Krystal. A woman who actually had a title reign that mattered. Something Krystal can say yet my opponent at Violent Conduct can’t. But the fact remains that even after all I have done, everyone still doubts me. They think I’m a flash in the pan, that I have just fluked my way to the Internet championship. Even after being undefeated in singles competition, beating five other women to claim this championship, including my opponent at the supercard, after all that I’m still sitting here watching you all act shocked I beat Krystal…”
“And why? Why is that? Is it because I don’t pander to you all like Roxi and Keira? Or have I not been here long enough to earn my arrogance like Mercedes has? I came in and I told you all I was going to take Sin City Wrestling by storm, that I was going to climb the ladder and snatch up gold and it took me no time at all to do it. I told you all that no matter how good Krystal Wolfe was that against me she was going to fail and falter, and still you didn’t believe me, you didn’t listen. Well, will you listen now? Or are you all still going to sit there with your hands over your eyes and ears pretending that I’m not the most exciting thing to happen to this division in months? Maybe even years?”
“I’m here to take over, I’m here to be the best and do it the “right” way. See, if I wanted to I could go the route so many others have and beg and plead for title opportunities and shots when I hadn’t earned them. And one of the things that I personally want to see changed is the way title shots are handed to undeserving people like fucking candy. And no not candy the talentless wrestler I mean literal candy.”
“You want a shot? You earn it.”
“I didn’t want the roulette title or even a shot at it but instead I got shuffled into the ultimate X pool match and while I hate losing and I was trying to win that match I felt a great sense of relief when I wasn’t the one who walked out with that title. But then, very soon after that I became the internet champion, now, being undefeated aside from that little..pool business…I felt I had earned it. Now, based off her long title reign and how dominant she had been I suppose Krystal Wolfe earned her shot. But that right there begs the question…”
“What the hell did Keira do?”
Kayla sits back, raising her arms in a shrug with a shit eating grin on her face, waiting for an answer that will never come considering she’s alone in the room.
”How does she keep getting handed title shot after titlr shot after title shot? Is it just lack of competition? Is it because there is no one else worthy? Or is it because of who her wife is? Cause I think we all know the answer don’t we? You seem to think you’re entitled to all these shots and entitled to have a career we should all respect. Respect, funny word isn’t it? See I respected Krystal. I don’t like her, because, lets face it, I don’t really like anybody. But I do respect the hustle. But you..Keira…you are someone that doesn’t get the same treatment.”
“I don’t like you, I don’t respect you and I need to make sure I don’t let the Internet title fall into your hands.”
“See this championship went from Andrea Hernandez, who did it proud, to Masque Delune who…even if she’s a little weird still did it proud, to your wife, who had other things to worry about to me. And I refuse, REFUSE to become the woman who took the quality of the title and turned it into nothing. Then I’d be stealing your gimmick Keira, and I’m just not about that life.”
“I am however, about showing you up.”
“See, you and I have something in common, we both beat Krystal Wolfe. You ended her Roulette title reign didn’t you? This amazing, glorious reign where she beat everyone she was put in front of. You stopped it, you ended it and you held that roulette title in your hands and in that glorious moment you were finally relevant again, emerging from the shadow you put yourself in. I’m sure you felt so proud right? You could go home to little Nate and tell him how mommy number two finally could live up to the example set by mommy number one….”
“But you can’t…”
“While Roxi is a champion worth emulating and respecting, someone who takes championships and makes them prizes to be chased, owned and wanted…well..you take them and make them into an empty husk. And every single time you win one, I’m sure you stand in front of a mirror, holding it and saying over and over again that this time will be different, this time will be new and shiny and you can do it. And all the other self positive bullshit they try and teach you all. But, it never happens Keira. Because you are someone obsessed with the chase, not the destination…”
Kayla smiles and gets to her feet, drinking her weather before shaking her head and looking up
”But really, what happens when the destination is out of your reach hmm? You had a chance recently to do something that would have helped Roxi. See, Roxi has to defend her title against Masque again, and Masque has done and said horrible things. She took out Amber Ryan, she has tormented you and your wife. And when push came to shove, when you were in the ring with her and had a chance to disrupt her momentum, hurt her and soften her up as well as earn something for yourself.”
“Where’s your pride? Where’s your self respect?”
“Where is your protective nature and love for your family?”
“You failed. Like you always fail. You could oif made a statement and in the end you just did what you always do. And that’s the problem, you never change. You never get better, improve or become anything more than you are. You failed in the six person match too Keira. You ran your mouth, promised to become the champion then broke that promise. You have won titles but never had a reign where people sat back and went “wow”, instead you have dropped the ball, over and over and over again..”
She slams her fist on the table, getting heated before sighing heavily and calming herself down and folding her arms over her chest.
”And what will happen if you win this one huh? I can tell you. Keira Fisher Johnson will take the Internet title home, hold it up high whenveer she can and look in the mirror, muttering to herself that this time will be different. This time she will have a title reign that means something. She’ll defend the title against everyone and go on a record setting run that will actually matter and justify her position and all the faith the company has put in her.”
“It’s beautiful isn’t it? A wonderful fairytale.”
“It’s too bad that’s all it is Keira. A fairytale. Something for you to repeat to yourself to make it seem like you belong in the conversation with the real greats of this business and this company. But, mI am also a realist. I know there is an outside chance you could beat me, so I hope that whole scenario won’t come true, Not just for my own sake, but for yours. After all how much ammunition do you want to give your opponents as you continue to stumble hmm?”
“But even after you lose, after you fall to me the world goes on. You’ll continue going through life and succeeding despite yourself and get another chance and another shot at something else…the roulette title…the Bombshells title maybe even the mixed tag titles if the company remembers they exist and wants to actually bring them back….you land on your feet and keep running…even after spending so much time on your back…and at Violent conduct, I will put you on your back…and I will keep you there…”
9. Sweet Release
Breathe Into Me
People believe suicide to be a cowardly act. The last refuge of the damned. A movement by someone who can no longer put up with the agony of life. They often point out the plight of the loved ones left behind. What about the mother?. What about the father?. Siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles. And god forbid children. But the truth is, the desperation of wanting to end it knowing that there will be nothing at the end of that rainbow takes courage.
To look at your life and feel there is no way out, to feel so helpless that sometimes it just hurts to breathe. I’ve been there. I’ve felt it. To be looking back at your past and then to the future and not see a way out. Sometimes the nothingness and darkness of death is more comforting than the thought of what could happen if your life drags on and limps further down that line. Sometimes living is the scary past. But to look off that cliff knowing and feeling that if you do it then it will be that final moment and then to take that step?.
I’ve come close. I’ve made that decision. And truth me on this. It is a decision. It’s a choice you are bringing onto yourself to just stop.
And no one should ever tell you when and how you opt out of life. People are so concerned with terminal physical illness. The plight of them and the fact they deserve to be euthanized if they so choose. What about the mental pain?. What about depression?. Imagine that you’re a grown adult. Imagine that you feel uncomfortable in your own skin and every time you close your eyes you see the worst things you have ever experienced. Then imagine that the only thing to take away that pain could kill you….
Now think about sleep, how your body needs it and craves it but every single day you are scared to death of what will go through your mind when you slip into it. You’re faced with two roads. One of them is feeling it all, feeling everything that has ever hurt you and coming to that realization. The thought of ending it. Or….you turn off. You flip a switch and feel nothing. nIs that a way to live?. Is that a way to coast through existence?.
Sure. You don’t feel pain, sorrow, anger, sadness. But look at what you miss out on?. You look into your lovers eyes and you see the happiness that have and you mirror it back. But feel empty. Keeping out the negative also eliminated the positive. But if the negative is so overbearing you can’t even enjoy life. Then what’s the point?. And those of you who have never been into that darkness. Those of you who have never had something so fucking horrible happen to them that it infects every single fibre of your being then I am happy for you.
But you’re also unable to judge, you;re unable to feel it. And should learn….to shut your fucking mouths….
And this is how it feels when I ignore the words you spoke to me
And this is where I lose myself when I keep running away from you
And this is who I am when I don't know myself anymore
And this is what I choose when it's all left up to me
Dallas Texas
6 Years Ago
Breathe Your Life Into Me
I heard his zipper go up, his belt clink and move as he buckled it up with a laugh as he looked over his shoulder at me. His long hair tied back as his toothless grin made my stomach turn. The meaning behind it, the feeling of being used. The dirt seemed to cover my body as the smell refused to leave. The smell of his body, his flesh, his breath. All of it covered me like some kind of blanket. I could feel parts of my skin crawling. His lips had pressed against my naked flesh, his tongue had tasted and moved.
I sat on the edge of the dirty mattress, uncovered or protected. The door opened and he high fived his brother. They laughed in their strong southern accents. The older brother tieing his bandana as the younger one looked in, his smile fading as his brother turned, his look going from amused to one filled with pity. Pity…..he pitied me….
They walked off, I saw her face, she sneered, she laughed and so did the Dark Angel. His eyes hidden under glasses as she grabbed him, pulling his face to hers, kissing him hard in front of me before again sneering from behind her perfect pink lips and long curly blonde hair. But I knew, I knew her secret and so did he. But why hadn’t my Dark Angel destroyed her?. She didn’t have the faith I did, the devotion, the love. He didn’t return it to me. Allow me to feel it.
Instead I was given other tasks.
As they walked away I felt something on my face. Something warm and wet. My fingers moved to my cheek and I pulled them away finding a tear. A tear. Why was I crying?. Why did I care?. Why did my chest hurt?. My stomach in knots. I felt pain, a shock of it running through my mind. My hands shook and my heart raced. I stepped out of the small room I moved down the hallway, my fingertips stretched out as I touched the smooth wall to either side before getting to the bathroom to wash up.
I turn on the hot water, my eyes trailing down to find an old straight razor. As the steam rises and coats the mirror my hand drifts to it. I stare at the blade, still shiny and sharp, well taken care of. It wouldn’t take much. Just a small flick, a quick movement up my arm. It would be over. I’d never have to smell either of them again, feel the sickness and pain. I’d never close my eyes and see my past. It would be done, over. I’d be free.
I took a deep breath putting the razor down, my hand moving up to the mirror wiping away the condensation, I laugh to myself as a smirk comes across my lips. I’ll show them all. I’ll bring it all down around them….it gives me purpose….a reason….
The Talk
Present Day
Fucking Amber.
Since my sisters unscheduled, unexpected and unwanted visit my mind had been torn and twisted up. I thought I knew what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go. I was prepared to shut myself off, play it cool and try and get Finn to come crawling back. But, she had made me realize he wasn’t that type of guy, and we didn’t have that kind of relationship. Finn had been silent, quiet as he was dealing with his own shit.
Meanwhile I had a huge match. A huge match that I had to get my mind right for. And this, this situation had been fucking with me non stop for the last two weeks.
And what made it worse, I felt like a stalker.
I stood down the end of the hallway, I had lied about who I was to get his new hotel room as I hadn’t talked to him when we moved on with the Indian tour. I needed to find him, to find him away from prying eyes where we could be alone. I replayed the opening in my head. I was going to be stern, confident. Finn was going to see the bitch inside and he was going to want me. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath in and stood up straight. Arms back, tits out….
Let’s go
I knocked on his door, I heard movement from inside. Shuffling feet, then I could feel it. He was behind the door, looking out at who it was. I heard a small groan. Really Finn?. ”Finn please” He opened the door, tilting his head and moving to the side to let me in. He was shirtless. Of course he was. I looked away, not noticing his body, the tattoos, the way his skinny black jeans sat on his hips. Nope, didn’t notice any of it.
”So whats u-”
”We need to talk.” I had to take the upper hand, get my words in as I stepped forward with a sigh and a shake of my head. ”I don’t care what happened. Ok?. I don’t care if we slept together because in the end it doesn’t matter. I guet that. We’re friends, I don’t know how I don’t know why…but I am done pushing everyone away….” Shit, I was getting emotional. Why the fuck was I getting emotional?
I don’t fo this, I don’t have emotions. I could feel them, I could feel my body changing, my shoulders slumping, my heart beating faster and my breathing pattern going from calm and regular to faster and panicked. Even my eyes, they were welling up with tears. And Finn knew it.
I could see it in his face.
His eyes softened, his jaw went from clenched to relaxed and his body language shifted from tall and annoyed to open and worried. He was was also confused. As confused as I was. ”Kayla I-”
I put my hand up and shook my head. I didn’t want this. I had to stop this. For the last twenty fucking years I hid this. No. This isn’t me. I cleared my throat and looked away. ”We can drop it, forget what did or didn’t happen. If we didn’t have sex, well, who cares and if we did?...well..we don’t remember it…so it doesn’t matter either…I just don’t want to lose you…” My voice cracked…fuck..no Kayla…no…
He looked at me with something else in his eyes, I needed to cut this off. ”As a friend…I don’t want to lose you as a friend…I mean…who else would let me live at their place right?” I smiled and laughed, Finn smiled weakly and gave me a small nod. Could he see I needed to break from this? Could he see my weakness? I backed away toward the door, my hands finding the handle.
The door opened, I went to step through and his voice stopped me. ”Hey uh….you hungry?...I need to eat…get out for a bit and I could use the company…and the Wolfslair kids…well…lets just say Nazi mcwafflecunt and her man hands sister are annoying as the brit with the sx pack and the irish with a ten pack…” I laughed and gave him a nod and a smile.
I needed that. I needed this. And much to my own shame. I needed him
Insecure
”It’s so interesting, having this long to think about matches and what the other person has said about me. Normally, this business works so fast we come in, say our piece and then shrug it off, no chance to overthink things, no chance to let an opponents words or actions really sink in until AFTER the match.”
Kayla Richards, heavily tattooed, long black hair, green eyes, the over the top makeup, tits barely being contained by her black top. Her british accent shining through. The usual really, in all her glory.
”But this elongated time, from when matches are announced to when they happen, well it gives you time to think and brings up the anxiety. And when you have that time, sometimes you will say something stupid. I want to avoid that, maybe Keira should have thought harder about it. But, I am taking this time to prepare. While I am enjoying India as much as I can for a sun soaked, sand drenched place where most people hear my accent and want to through things at me, I have been spending this time watching matches, promos and everything else I can when it comes to Keira Johnson. Not Keira and Roxi, just Keira. And that seems to be an important distinction here since Keira tried to play the pre-emptive game.”
“It shows a certain, insecurity.”
“But lets talk about that for a moment, before I get into Keira prematurely blowing her proverbial insecure load all over the wrestling world like Donald Trump on Stormy Daniels, I want to let you all know, before I became the overconfident, cocky, borderline arrogant bitch that you all see before you, I was once an insecure child in a world of women who were more experienced and better than me. They said so much about me Keira. They called me an idiot, they said I didn’t belong in wrestling due to my age and lack of experience. Then they hurled the cheapest of insults…”
“I was a whore, a sl;ut, a bitch. The other comments. I was nothing but a pale imitation of my sister.”
“See, Keira, we all live in peoples shadows. But, while that one hurt, at first. I moved past it. I moved past it all. The reason why all that never really hurt me and why I could just forget it is because I realised, there was no truth there. Inexperienced? Well that comes with age, time and putting yourself out there. Which I have done, I’ve done that alot in the past eight years..”
She leaned forward, a small smile over her lips and her eyes lighting up, showing emotions while talking. A little framing for the scene and the content. Her hands moving to the side of the small wooden chair she was sitting on, pushing up off the arms.
”The whore comments? Well, funny but as I thought about it I realised that noit only was that a childish lie it was an insult not even worth addressing. TRake the last five years for example. Still had people looking at me and assuming. I show my body, I have confidence, I see something or someone I want and I go for it. But, the last five years, I’ve slept with two men…two…and I was in a relationship with both of them at the time. So all the anger about that, all the pain, well…it floated away…”
“Untrue things generally don’t make you insecure.”
“But then the most relevant thing Keira. Living in my sisters shadow. For a time, at the beginning of my career it was true. I was in Ambers shadow. She was the one who had titles, championships and was a star. You know Tara Fenix, the woman everyone keeps setting all over twitter with huge shows and has become popular? Amber…beat her…many times. Amber Richards is a name that in some companies has gone down as legendary.”
“But what about now? Hmm?”
“Now, I am known, I am the one people talk about and I am the one casting a shadow. The insecurity is gone but when I was younger I would get so angry and try and stop the conversation before it began by telling everyone that it was wrong and giving a laundry list of reasons as to why. Much like you have done, many times, whenever facing anyone…”
She chuckles and moves around the small wooden table that sits in front of the chair, her fingertips dancing along the hard wood.
”You try to bring it up before others can as a way to get it out there. But the fact this is what you’ve gone to right away as a pre-emptive strike shows your hand. It shows your insecurity and also shows you own fear. You’re scared that all anyone is going to think is that you’re nothing but Roxi’s wife despite the fact you have had a career that so many others would be envious of. You look at the SCW Bombshells roster and you look at the name there and have to ask yourself….have they accomplished as much as me?”
“The answer, Keitra. Is no. Most of the women in this company haven’t held the titles you have beaten the names you have or had the highs you have.”
“And you should celebrate that, take pride in that but instead you let the assumption of being in someone elses shadow keep you down and destroy you. And that shows you have a weak mind.”:
“A weak mind…”
“You deserve some credit for being able to win the championships you have and beat the people you have. You deserve all the credit in the world for having a good life, a loving wife and a child who you clearly care about and not having it all fall apart like it seems to have done with Crystal and others. But, do you know why the comments from others get to you so much Keira?”
“Because there is truth in them, even if it’s a hint. Comments that are straight lies don’t hurt….they don’t affect you…”
Kayla shakes her head and shrugs.
”The comments about me being a whore, in my sisters shadow even your ones about me being generic, they don’t hurt. I don’t feel the need to jump on them beforehand. I mean, generic is a new one and it confuses me but it’s not something I generally get upset about. Do you know why Keira? When the bell rings, when you and I are alone in that ring it doesn’t matter.”
“What matters is who has the drive, the need and the skills to become the Internet champion. Your feelings about me? They don’t matter. Even your comments about who is a better wrestler and my attitude toward titles don’t matter. But, why? Is it because I didn’t want the roulette title? Because I didn’t want to compete in matches at the whim of a roulette wheel? Is that what seems to have earned your dislike of me?”
“Not the fact I have no respect for yo0u? Not the fact I routinley run down the entire roster? That’s what seems to make you mad? That I love wrestling, am a wrestler and that in your eyes I’m generic and don’t want that title? Really?”
“Of all the petty things.”
“There is alot to dislike about me Keira, but that’s what you zeroed in on? I mean I might as well bring up the whole Sinn shit if you’re going down that route. By the say, you know how many people in the wrestling world have “evil” alter egos? You want to talk about generic, good grief. But, all this should blow your mind, see the comments I made about you being insecure, Roxis shadow, your failures as a champion, a woman and a mother all of it should not matter. Because all that matters is the side of it you seem to be so angry about…”
“The -i=wrestling[/i] And that Keira…is why I will hold the upper hand. Because I care about that and I want to make the internet title matter and that means keeping it out of YOUR hands…so at Violent conduct that is what I plan to do…”