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The Origin Story (Part 5)t
Church of the Good Shepherds; 5/9/2019
”We’re finally ready”
Those three words changed so much for me the moment they left my father’s lips. I looked around to Father Gerald, Mother Mavis, and Sister Esther. I saw Sister Virginia Mae and Andrew Borg applauding us, waiting for their turn.
And I saw the buxom blonde in the corner, giving Sister Esther her praise. She looked the most out of place here with her many necklaces and bracelets, like a young girl who just stepped out of a mall, had it not been for her wrestling gear.
Mother Mavis looked the most proud of us all as she applauded for the rest of those deemed ready. For the first time since the beginning of the church, she smiled, and that smile was real, a glimmer of her former self shining through.
Brother Andrew approached me and patted me on the back, offering his congratulations.
Andrew: I told you from the beginning that you could do it. You’re about to make your dreams come true, David.
I thought about it for a moment. Letting the words truly sink in. But I just couldn’t shake the sound of insincerity in his voice, and before I knew it was coming, I spoke up.
Me: Please, spare me the motivational speaker shtick, would you? I’m not some guy in the audience who knows he will never be worth the dust from the rocks he kicked when his life turned into a bad country song.
Andrew looked at me and smirked. He shook his head as he walked along to take Esther’s hand, speaking his congratulations to her. Instead, it is Ginny who approached next, giving me a hug.
Virginia: I knew you would be among the first wave of us to enter. You are his son, and his blood runs through your body. Congratulations.
Me: Thank you, Sister Virginia Mae. I can’t lie that I had my doubts. I mean, Andrew’s skills in submission are bar none the best of any of us. I’ve fallen to his Rear Naked Choke many of times.
Ginny patted my shoulder and giggled. I knew this giggle, and at the time, it made me sick to my stomach. I could’ve told her that her mother was a wretched whore who was choking on Satan’s… ya know… and the reaction would have been the same. Still, I forced a smile. Until she spoke again.
Virginia: The familiarity of the situation lulled you. You know, having a man with his arms wrapped around you, his legs wrapped around you, behind you. I imagine it’s comforting until you realize that he’s choking the life out of you.
She ran her hand down my arm, admiring the muscle tone. Her green eyes dancing across every inch of my bare flesh, she let me know that this was less of an insult, and more of a desire. But, in the presence of God Himself, she couldn’t leave it as such.
Virginia: Perhaps one day, bound by the sacred bonds of marriage, I will be able to experience that same feeling, minus the sodomy, of course.
She let those sickening words linger in the air as she walked over to Mother Mavis to congratulate her. I can’t help but let my eyes rest on the shy girl in the corner, staying to herself. Until Esther approached and gave me a playful shove.
Esther: You actually did it, big brother. You found a way to catch Father’s eye so that he would let you join us on the march.
Me: Why is everyone so surprised? I match Father on almost every level, and surpass him on many others. I could lead this charge if I wanted to.
Esther rolled her eyes and snickered.
Esther: Yeah, I’m sure. Look, I was only trying to work you up. You’re my brother, and I’ve seen you put up with a lot. You’re the second strongest person I know, and you’re going to do great things. Just don’t let that one sink her claws into you.
Esther glanced over at Ginny, though I didn’t need the reference to understand who she was talking about. I nodded my head along with her.
Me: I’m trying to resist. Each advance she whispers makes me more and more sick.
Esther leaned in and whispered to me.
Esther: She’s a homewrecking bitch, and sooner or later, one of us is really going to hurt her. You’re going to break your heart when you reunite with Dax, and I’m going to break her damn neck.
I looked into her eyes, and the wickedness shining back let me know that she was only along for the spiritual ride out of necessity. I wanted to drop to my knees and pray for her right then and right there, so that God could reach down and slap some sense into her. But that last bit of weakness still sat inside of me when it came to my little sister. All of the horrors we endured growing up, and she did what I was unable to do. She twisted what Father forced her into, and she turned it into a mask, and a quite convincing one at that. Her wicked smile faded into a sweet one as she wrapped her arms around our Father, and embraced him tightly.
Esther: Thank you so much, daddy! This was the greatest news I could have ever received!
Gerald: By God’s good grace, we were given an offer of four to start, and what better lineup could I have put together than this one?
Father looked over to me and smiled with pride. He pulled me into a hug.
Gerald: Son, I do hope the embrace of another man doesn’t bring on old urges.
Me: You’re my dad. Even in the eye of that wretched storm, it wouldn’t have inspired anything. This isn’t ancient Greece, or Game of Thrones.
He looked at me, not quite understanding the references. And right there, his true nature showed itself to me for the first time. He was taunting me, toying with me, in front of everyone. And in my position, all I could do was pretend to laugh it off, even though the anger was boiling inside of me. Esther knew it, and she watched with joy and hope that it would boil over. I did not give her the satisfaction.
Me: So, what is this place like that we will be wrestling in? Is it close?
Esther: I hope not! I would love to spread His Holy Word beyond Tulsa, and see the world.
Me: Are there any big names there? Will be truly be challenged inside of the ring?
Esther: It better be an Angel Kash company! There’s like 80 of them that she fights in. Ohhhhh! I bet it’s EPIC! Please tell me it’s EPIC! Oooooooh, or One Wrestling Movement!
Father loves this kind of adoration. He knew what we didn’t, and that power over us was an exciting thing for him.
Gerald: No, yes, yes, and no. It’s not entirely too far away. It’s based in Las Vegas.
Me: Disgusting! I can’t believe you would even consider that.
Esther: I think it will be fun to punish all of the sinners. The more to punish, the less bored we’re going to get.
Father patted Esther on the head, letting us know that she had the right attitude about it. Of course I didn’t. I was somewhere between his greatest joy and his greatest failure. Always.
Gerald: That’s right, my little angel. And it should make you happy that Angel Kash will be present there, along with many other big names for us to crush.
Esther: I KNEW IT! OHHHHH! I can’t wait until she tries to buy me out, and then I’m like “Sorry, I don’t serve money. I serve the Lord.” and then SALVATION SLAM!
Gerald: Tomorrow, I will fly out to Las Vegas to meet with a couple people to sign the paperwork. Of course, I’ll have my lawyer look at every detail before I agree to sign. But then, we will be flying out to Las Vegas weekly to compete for Sin City…
Esther: WRESTLING!!! Oh my Heavens, I just knew it! Ohhhhhh, daddy, I love you so so so much!
Gerald… Underground… Sin City Underground, the developmental brand for Sin City Wrestling.
Me: That place is for the weak… Why in God’s name would we ever want to even dip our big toe into that cesspool of forgotten humanity? It is beneath those who fight there, let alone the Church of the Good Shepherds. You’re aiming too low, Father. I...
Gerald: On the contrary, child. It allows us to start at the foundation. It’s a chance to recruit others like us, and when we have the numbers, we can work our way into Sin City Wrestling and truly begin our work. Of course, I will lead this charge, but I know we are more than capable of doing this. You just need to have faith.
I knew what he was saying, and on some level, I agreed with him. But on another level, I did not, and I needed that voice to be heard.
Me: Who are we going to convert to our side? Helluva Bottom Carter? Alex Rush? Kelli Torres? None of those heathens are capable of ushering in the new wave of sin eradication. No one there is. And do you really think that it’s wise for us to wander into Las Vegas, given the level of moral decay and corruption there? Especially in my state of recovery.
Gerald: Pardon me for saying, but does wrestling not already pose that risk for you? You’ve been redeemed, son, and now it’s time for you to prove to us, and most importantly, yourself, that you can do this. Like I said before, you need to have faith. Now, if you don’t have faith, then you have a problem and we need to work on that quickly, because there’s a form that needs your signature immediately. And while Ginny, Andrew, and Skye wait to be finished with their training, we need you at your best.
His words sunk in, and while I was still riddled with doubt, there’s nothing like looking into the eyes of a parent who is telling you that you’re stronger than you believe you are. I felt weak, anxious, and pretty well unraveled by the idea. I knew I would spend any time not working out, eating, or sleeping, in a state of constant prayer and vigilance. I had to live up to the expectations of my father, and I wouldn’t let him down for anything. I would pray for that level of conviction that my father had. I would ask our Heavenly Father to give me armor comparable to that of the Archangels to prepare myself for this battle. I made a promise to myself and God most high, that I would do all of these things once I signed those papers. And I did. Day in, day out, until the day we stepped foot into Sin City Underground, all the way until today. And plans to continue on tomorrow through eternity.
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Revelations (Part 4)t
Into The Void X Supercard Kickoff Event; 5/21/2021
It is clear that I had been gaining popularity, from those who enjoy the bad guys, of course. But, it is helping to raise funds for my mission through this limited meet and greet. Of course, with the times, there was no shaking of hands. It is all about fist bumps and lots of hand sanitizer. I feel the difference in this very moment, that we weren’t quite out of the clear with COVID-19 just yet. But, I hold on to certain parts that resemble the past. I am uncharacteristically in a great mood, almost carefree. It is a cool 65 with a light breeze, but full sun. The kind of day that I imagine would be in the Garden of Eden should Eve not have forced her sin upon the first of men. I opted to forgo the shade of an umbrella, instead basking in this glorious day. Come to think of it, it’s likely the vitamin D talking.
I have pretty well coasted until this very moment. Like I said, fist bumps, hand sanitizer, and autographs. I did catch wind that a fan referred to my smile as “oddly effervescent”. And I took it as a compliment, even though it was meant as a mockery of my good mood. It isn’t until I catch a glimpse of a picture on a t-shirt of a white wolf that my mood changes. I look up to see a chunky, early twenties, zit faced overzealous fanboy standing in front of me with a signed picture of our promotional picture. He sneers at me as I look up at him, glaring.
Fanboy: I was wondering if you could sign the bottom of this picture for me. Fenris already signed it too big, so you’re gonna hafta find a way to squeeze it in.
Without a word, I take the picture from him and scribble my signature onto it, overlapping with Fenris’ signature. I slide it back across the table, not dignifying his attitude with any verbal response. He scoffs as he looks at the picture.
Fanboy: Great! Now it’s ruined, you idiot! You couldn’t even do that one simple task! Not that any of us do, but how the fucking hell do you expect to beat Fenris? Do you expect divine intervention?
I glare at him longer as he is holding up my line. But he refuses to move out of the way. A member of security is paged by Esther, who is standing by, along with Andrey Azarov. Not booked anywhere on the program, they decided to stand by in case any situations arise. I hold a hand up as the security approaches.
Fanboy: What’s wrong? “White Wolf” got your tongue? I paid good money to interact with the stars and bombshells of SCW, and I intend to get my money’s worth.
Me: I assure you, the full service buffet has plenty of greasy, inedible food to fill your disgusting gullet with. I know walking is an inconvenience you’re not open to dealing with, so for a nominal fee, you can rent a sterilized motor scooter to haul every ounce of that fat ass over to the buffet to get you money’s worth!
The crowd laughs and cheers, because even they know this guy is being obstinate just to get my goat. More and more of the crowd gather as the fanboy looks completely distraught by my words.
Fanboy: Fat shaming is so twenty years ago in civilized cities. But, you wouldn’t know anything about that, you confederate flag waving, Trump supporting, sexist, homophobic elitist! Why don’t you go grab your sister by the pussy, since you seem to support that kind of shit!
Andrey walks over to the young “man” and gets as close as the security will allow him to. His eyes indicate a sadistic smile under his mask.
Andrey: Kak naschet togo, chtoby nachat' s togo, chto skhvatil tebya za vaginu, nevynosimyy kusok der'ma? (How about I start by grabbing your vagina, you intolerable piece of literal shit?) People don’t hate you because of fatness. They hate bad attitude you are having…
Fanboy: You’re in America! You need to speak English you commie bastard!
I can’t help but chuckle at this.
Me: Ha! You truly are a Fenris fanatic! Double standards. Liberal. Crybaby. “You’re in America!” Now who sounds like a Trump supporter, big guy? Here, let me do you a favor…
I pick up a photograph of the promotional banner for my match against Fenris, and I put my face down to it. I sign my name in the most teeny, tiny way that I can, to where it looks like a couple dots to the naked eye.
Me: Why don’t you go over to the table where this nastiness is tolerated, and have him re-sign it for you. And get the ever-loving heck outta here you literal waste of space…
Cool, calm, and collected, the words deceive their meaning due to the tone they are spoken and the faint smile they are delivered with. And before he has the opportunity to rebut against my wishes, I pull his ragged ten dollar bill out of my jar, and I reach past the plexiglass to shove it right in his mouth.
Me: Get him out of my sight!
Security obliges as they usher him away, practically kicking and screaming. Andrey walks to the front of the line and asks for patience while I take a break, even though I don’t think I need one. Esther hands me a bottle of water and urges me out of my chair silently. After a few seconds, I oblige and get up to walk behind the curtains.
Esther: You know, you don’t have to deal with assholes like that, and after what you and dad have done to Fenris over the last few months, you’re going to get way more than that.
I turn to her and the anger is present upon my face. I just know it with that distinct burning in my cheeks, and the tightness of my jaw. It takes much extra effort to speak, but the adrenaline helps make it just a bit easier.
Me: You have no idea what I’ve been going through these last few months to cause this. What has been going through my mind. What I’ve held back on. Any of it! You have no freaking clue!
She looks at me with those green eyes, and maybe because she’s my sister, she can read me like a book. It’s almost like some kind of witchery or something, because she speaks the truth.
Esther: You’ve been thinking about Dax again. He was a special guy, and nobody has gotten to know him the way our family did. And a lot of what he’s gone through is because of our family. But he’s a changed man. Deep down, you know it. You love the old him, and you think it’s completely wrong.
Me: Because it is! It’s explicitly in The Good Book that man shall not lie with another man.
Esther: Then find at least one more, because it says nothing about a man lying with multiple men.
She hoped to clear my mood with a joke, but it doesn’t work. It doesn’t even really register with me in my fit of rage. It slips through one ear and out of the other. I push my hands through my hair and keep them on the back of my head.
Me: Every urge that I feel every single day of my life is wrong, and I’m forced to fight them every day, because I believe in father’s cause. I’m not going to abandon him just because it’s easier that way. I’m not going to run off and marry someone I don’t even know, who is so against God’s way that it’s not even funny!
Esther takes this verbal lashing. She doesn’t get mad. She doesn’t try to make excuses, or to justify what she’d done, despite the very obvious hint that I’m talking about her. Instead, she puts a hand on my shoulder.
Esther: Who says it’s wrong? Dad? He’s not this pillar of virtue that he tries to make himself out to be. I love him, and I will respect him, and I will damn sure fight for him. But don’t you make the mistake of thinking that I agree with everything that he says, because I don’t. I never really did. I just didn’t have a choice but to go along with it until Andrey came into my life. You, mom, dad, and the rest of the church thought it was wrong. And even for a minute, I thought it was wrong. But it felt so right, and it still does. I never really understood how you felt with Dax until my relationship with Andrey grew to what it is now. And now, my heart hurts for you, brother. Put aside all the bratty, bitchy stuff, I really am sorry that you lost the love of your life.
If I were a normal person, I would have cried at least a little, because that speech really tugged on the heart strings. But no, I can’t, and I won’t. I stuff it all down with anger.
Me: Dax was a mistake. He was a dirty bum, sent by God to test me, and I failed. I failed hard. And I won’t make that mistake ever again. You can bet on that, sis. I wasn’t happy. I was ignorant. I was blindly following exactly what the devil wanted while enjoying the sins of the flesh. And I think you know more about that than anyone else I know.
Again, she takes it. I’ve been a real jerk to her in the past, but this conversation takes the cake. And yet, she refuses to try to hurt me back. The first real conversation we’ve had since she left GRIME Wrestling to rejoin our family in the Good Fight, and I’m seeing that she’s a different person. Numb. Godless. Yet fearless.
Esther: Deflect the issue all you want, but it doesn’t change the facts. There’s more to this fury that you’re directing at Fenris. And I think, deep down, that you know it.
Me: Bullshit!
Esther: Look here you little bitch! You can fool a lot of people, but you can’t fool me David Ezekiel Shepherd!
Me: You’re delusional! Downright crazy. I guess that’s what happens with the Russian Meat Injections you’ve been taking over the last year, huh?
She shrugs her shoulders. She turns and walks away just as we hear footsteps approaching. She was meant to be my protection, yet someone is approaching me, and she abandons me? Not like I don’t deserve it, but still. I turn, ready to fight, but it’s not a fight that is headed for me.
Rocky: Hello Brother David. You’ve got quite the line outside, but I was wondering if I might be able to get an interview with you to play over the Sin City Tron set up outside for the All Access Passholders and members of the Sin City Network?
I clench my teeth as I stare at her, because, really? Right now? Of all the times. I have two choices. One is to run her off. The other is to seize the opportunity to say what is and has been on my mind for a long time now. I nod, and Ms. Rocky Mountains calls for the live stream.
Rocky: Ladies and gentlemen and inbetween. I am lucky enough to be able to catch a few minutes with Brother David Shepherd, who will be taking on “The White Wolf” Fenris, in just two short days. Their feud has seen some big surprises, and is one of the most anticipated grudge matches at Into the Void X. I was wondering if I might get your thoughts on the match? But let’s start off with the obvious question. Why Fenris?
It doesn’t take me but a second to start answering this one.
Me: Have you not watched any of my promotional packages over the last month or so? I’m not going to give you a boring rehash, but I was raised to answer what is asked of me in a respectful manner, and you haven’t ticked me off yet. The answer is simple as it gets. Fenris is everything that me and my family are against.
Rocky: Let me just say that I’ve kept up with everything you’ve done back to your SCU days. I am asking for new fans who might not be up-to-date.
I roll my eyes, even though I don’t mean to. But, I take a deep breath and try to work past the annoyance of the situation.
Me: Then I’ll say this. Fenris is every single deadly sin rolled into one. His pride might be rivaled by many in this business, but it is ever present. His gluttony goes hand in hand with his pride and his lust, which I’ll get to in a moment. His sloth is newer, but still very much at the forefront. He lacks ambition and goals. He captured the top prize in a matter of months, and he’s become lazy. Yet, he envies others for being more disciplined than him. He acts on his rage to cover up the fact that he has nowhere else to go in this company. He’s a slouch, yet he’s greedy for more accolades.
Rocky: You can easily say this about anyone on the roster. There are many accomplished stars and bombshells who find new ways to improve their art and skill to accomplish even more.
I lick at my bottom lip, because she just opened this up for me… like, wide open…
Me: And Fenris envies them, because he’s not creative enough to go anywhere else. His arrogance, ahem, pride… made it so that he went right for the top prize. I’ve been told by many of the recruiters and talent agents that I could have done the same. But I didn’t want to. I didn’t even intend on staying in Sin City Wrestling. But, once I saw my mission was clear, and I already had the Roulette Championship under my belt, I figured I had a clear path to being a rising star instead of a star that burns out as fast as it is visible.
Rocky: Although I don’t agree, I can see where you are coming from with this. Now, you said something about his sin of lust. I think I know where this is going.
I smirk and nod my head.
Me: And that’s because it’s that obvious. Fenris makes no bones about it either. As a matter of fact, he wears his sins like medals of honor. While his lust might not be the forefront of his “honors”, it is certainly the one that has caught my eye. Unrelenting, unapologetic. Those were words I have used to describe it. But it is more like tasteless, heathenous, and downright disgusting, parading around with every Tom, Dick, and Harry. Openly defying the Lord with it, along with his religious practices. He might as well join up with Le Coven so that those two can find the courage to come out as a couple! They can cast hexes and be defilers all they want, and maybe they’ll stop forcing it on us.
Rocky: I can see that you’re very passionate about this. Is there any particular reason that his personal life affects you so much?
Me: What kind of idiotic question is that?! He openly acts against the very being that I believe in. Every explicit rule given by God, he repeatedly breaks. He’s unrelenting! He’s literally an abomination, and I’ve come to stomp out that fire before it spreads. And in Sin City, there’s plenty of kindling, so it will spread faster than a Southwestern wildfire!
Rocky: But, you’re here to compete. What doesn’t affect you personally should not affect the way you fight. It creates wonderful drama for television, but this isn’t just TV. It’s personal. Why?
I can’t respond to this as fast as I would have liked. The question angers me because it is such a simple answer. But… it doesn’t feel that simple for some reason. I look back to the cameras and I just open my mouth to speak so that it might come to me.
Me: It does affect me in so many ways. My mission is that of my Father. And that of his Eternal Father. The wisdom Father Gerald preaches is one of justice and redemption. It may not seem like it, but it’s also about mercy… for those who deserve it. Don’t you want to live in a world that is akin to the Garden of Eden? Do you not want to live in eternal glory, where your sins just melt away? That can only happen in the afterlife, and can only happen once your soul has been saved. I’m here to save souls and usher them into the Eternal Heavenly Light. That requires repentance and work.
Rocky stares at me, blinking as if I just told her there was a pig on her nose.
Rocky: So, you’re trying to save Fenris?
Me: God, no! I’m trying to end his time here in Sin City. I’m trying to drive him back to whatever ice cave he crawled out of! Let him become a Swedish philosopher, or whatever he is. Let him find a career in singing to those in the icy hell he calls home, sounding like the male Bjork. Let him do literally anything as long as he’s confined to a wheelchair back in Iceland, I think it is. He’s beyond redemption. He just needs to be eradicated from the roster so that the healing might begin.
Rocky: Well, we’re just about out of time, but…
Me: I’M NOT FUCKING FINISHED! …
I cover my mouth, having slipped with profanity. I gulp down the embarrassment and continue.
Me: I’m not finished yet. Fenris can wear his sins like badges of honor. He can revel in his sin. He can parade around, seducing men or attacking them from behind, since that’s the only position his kind understand. He can go around doing all of that… for the next two days. Because come Into the Void X, he will meet his reckoning.
I step closer to the camera so that I am the only thing it focuses on. I move in even closer so that Fenris can read my lips.
Me: Fenris. I hope you’re listening. I hope you have the volume on your device turned all the way up. And I hope you’re close enough to the speakers of the Sin City Tron to hear this carefully. I’m coming for you. That much is obvious and clear. I have plans, and you’re not gonna like any of them. You’re gonna fight. Heck, you might even beat me. But that reckoning I spoke of. It’s not based on me or my ego to need to fulfill it. That’s simply the mission I’m on, and that mission comes straight from Yahweh, Our Heavenly Father, God of Justice and War. I’m going Old Testament on you, but it may not be me. But trust me when I say that sooner or later, God’ll cut you down. See you on Sunday, His day…
And while the camera in front of me cuts off, and Ms Rocky Mountains moves away to set up her next interview, I know I’m still being focused on. I’ve said all that I need to say. However, my opinions cut into my line as I see people stepping away, even as I poke my head through the curtains. Esther pulls my seat out, and I continue doing what I’ve done since this video started, and I sign autographs, take pictures, and give out fist bumps. Apply hand sanitizer. Repeat.
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