Secrets
Have you ever felt so angry that you felt numb? No shaking, no heat in your body. Just the numb emotional depth of being so furious that something inside breaks. That is where Johanna Kreiger was. It had been a few days since she had seen Frederick Gustav talking to her father. She hadn’t seen him, she hadn;’t talked to him. She just sat at home sending text messages to let him know she felt sick. It wasn’t strictly a lie, she did feel sick to her stomach.
But she had run out of time. Gustav was coming to see her. A message telling her that he ”needed” her.
It was a joke, she thought to herself. Needed her? After what she heard. He needed her because her father wanted her watched. She felt like a fool. She let Frederick in, in more ways than one. And in the time she had stayed at him she needed an outlet, she needed a way to get all the physical out. She grabbed the weights she had put away long ago, she rediscovered her love for lifting and working out. It helped. But not enough. And now she needed to make a decision.
Should she confront him?
Or lie and hide it?
To confront him, to put it all out in the open would set her free, allow her to move on and not have to play pretend or go into that office and feel as if she was being used as a tool for the criminal element. On the other hand, if she hid what she knew, if she stayed she could work from the inside. But where would she go? Who could she go to? Everytime Johanna felt like she was finding people who understood, who wanted to cut out the cancerous corruption in the police force, it turned out to be a lie.
Why shouldn’t she lie back? Why shouldn’t she get a little payback by gathering information on her own? She sneered as the intercom buzzed. She closed her eyes and got to her feet walking over and pressing the flashing red button. ”Come on up Frederick.” It was time to make the decision. She took in a deep breath and moved towards the door unlocking it. The knob turned and clicked. A bouquet of red roses leading the way as Gustav stepped in with a smile.
Johanna raised an eyebrow and folded her arms leaning on the back of her couch, he handed them to her with a laugh. ”Thought these might make you feel better. But it looks like you already do.” His eyes moved around the apartment, the workout gear sitting in the corner as Johanna took the flowers putting them down on her bench before moving to the fridge.
”Would you like a drink?” She tried to sound like her regular self, but the words came out dry and emotionless.
Gustav gave a small nod, his eyes narrowing and his head titling. He obviously knew something. Felt something. Johanna grabbed a bottle of water putting it in front of him. There was no hiding it. He knew something. ”Thank you.” He popped the top taking a sip before sitting across the bench, his hands clasping together.
”What does he have on you?”
The question popped out, with force and venom, Johannas eyes burning a hole right through Gustav, right through who he thought he was and what he thought Johanna knew and felt. He swallowed hard and sat forward locking his fingers together shaking his head. ”How did you...nevermind. Your father he, he has the ear of certain people. People who have no morals, no ethics..” He closed his eyes and trailed off, Johanna ground her teeth together and moved forward shaking his head. Gustav sighed and continued. ”They threatened my daughter….”
Johanna swallowed hard. How could she be angry at him now? She was still angry at the situation but this was understandable. A child being threatened. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility with these people. ”Why didn’t you tell me?”
He shook his head throwing his hands in the air before backing away. ”It didn’t seem like a good excuse. I don’t know…”
There was silence now. Neither of them knew what to say or where to go. Johannas heart sank and her blood chilled cold as she realised her father knew, and was willingly a part of this. She cleared her throat and folded her arms over her chest. ”So, was what happened between us real? Or was that just...an extra for you?” Gustav shook his head and looked awkwardly down at the ground. Johanna felt as if that was an answer, she held back the anger but couldn’t hide the heartbreak. ”I see...I guess I’m not as smart as I thought..”
Gustav suddenly looked up and moved around reaching out to grab her hands. ”No...that isn’t..” He sighed heavily and squeezed her hands. ”I have feelings for you, that wasn’t part of it. But, I don’t know what to do Jo. They have me in a box here, I can’t do a goddamn thing…”
He was in prison
Gustav was in an impossible position, and Johanna knew it, felt it. She needed to help him. But in helping him she would risk her own life as well as his and his daughters life. And possibly put her father in prison. But, what choice did she have?...
All things end
”I’m confused..”
Johanna sat forward on a steel chair sitting in the middle of Wolfslairs grappling room. Her hair tied up and away from her face as she shook her head.
”I lost to Courtney Pierce. One on one in the center of that ring she beat me. I was looking up at the lights, unable to really compute what happened. On that night she was the better woman and I can accept that and move on. I was prepared to go back to the drawing board and do what I needed to do. To just go back to the bottom of the ladder and start to climb. See, where I’m from, how I feel and how I think is simple. You build momentum, you win and you earn title shots, opportunities and title reigns…”
“The exact opposite of what Jesse Salco has done in her entire career.”
“But now, well, now I don’t know what to think or feel. After that loss I have been handed, gifted a title opportunity at a championship that has become the prize in the Bombshells division.”
“And I say that with all due respect to Amber Ryan and the Bombshells world title. See the Roulette title is a joke. It’s a title born of Chaos and is now over the shoulder of a mask wearing piece of trash that should have stayed in Grime and SCU. That title si dead to me. That title is meaningless to me. The Bombshells world title is a championship out of my reach but one that also needs to be rebuilt.”
Johanna shrugs and sits back.
”The internet championship though? Well, that title was taken and raised up to a lofty position and as much as I want to sit here and hype this match up and tell the world that I will destroy Myra Rivers and take that championship. Well, deep down feel like I don’t deserve it. I haven’t earned a shot at it and I haven’t earned the right to assume I can destroy a woman like her. A world champion in other companies and a ring veteran. And I understand many people will probably be confused about my own statements. In this business you are meant to be arrogant and cocky. Hell, in the past I have been viewed that way but I have said it time and time again. Arrogance is fine as long as it is earned…”
She pushes up to her feet, wearing black workout shorts and a black crop top. Her large tattooed arms folding over her chest.
”And in this case, I haven’t. See, I know how good I am, I know I should be feared based off how I look, what I can do and what I am capable of but at the same time I haven’t reached the heights I should. Even with my victories over former world champions, even with my two roulette title reigns and my mixed tag title reign. But, I have a chance to rectify that. And If I beat Myra, if I take that OInternet title and add it to the wolfslair collection then I believe that would be going a long way to earning that arrogance. And, with added motivation the Bombshells internet title is the only active championship Wolfslair have not held. So imagine that. The final active title being added to the collection eh?..”
“To do that though I have to face a woman who has held that championship for almost nine months.”
“Nine months...that is a long long time.”
“Nine months is the time it takes for a child to be born. Nine months is no joke. And Myra has spoken about her desire to be a fighting champion and while Roxi Johnson is waiting in the wings for her championship opportunity I have a chance right now to swoop in and take that title. And to be honest, I have this feeling that Myra will overlook me. And why wouldn’t she? I just have her all the reasons in the world to run her mouth about this match. The fact it came out of nowhere, the fact I lost to Courtney Pierce after losing the Roulette title to royal purple. The fact I admitted myself that I felt like I didn’t deserve the championship match…”
“But just because I feel that way doesn’t mean I’m not going to do all I need to. It doesn’t mean I’m not going to get in the ring and look to rip Myra's body apart and hold that title high over my head. And truth be told. I believe Roxi Johnson would love a chance to avenge her loss against me.”
“So Myra, I hope you’re ready for a fight because while I respect your abilities and your title reign, I don’t respect much else about you. And I am a killer, if you overlook me, if you underestimate me it will be to your detriment. I am a well trained machine in that ring and despite my recent failures I still have a great record in this company. And I will give you everything I have and I will look at ripping your arm off and prying that title from your fingers...so good luck...champ”