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Ghosts of me.
Date: 3/22/2021
OFF CAMERA
Examining her past was never something that Mikah really enjoyed doing but sometimes, it was inevitable. As she sat in her suite at the Cosmopolitan after locking herself away for a week with an unnamed person, she was feeling extra pensive at the moment. She never really examined her reasons for the toxic relationships she had been in in her past and she wasn’t entirely sure why she was thinking about it now.
She never really understood why her brain worked the way it did but somehow, it just brought up things that she wished would have stayed in the past. Things that she didn’t even really care to think about but somehow, it just did.
;;MIKAH “I don’t want to see you.”
She looks at the figment of her imagination but in front of her stood Alexander Fabb, her first husband and her first ex husband. She wasn’t entirely sure that the man was actually still alive or not as she hadn’t checked on him in ages. She wasn’t entirely sure that her marriage to him could even be considered a marriage. She used him to get high years ago and she was sure he used her for sex. It worked even when it didn’t work. She knew that he was often in and out of rehab back then and she had grown up and gotten out of that party life to become who she was today.
AF: “I’m not the one that brought me up, toots. This is all you.”
She frowns at him, not sure what he meant by that but she just looks at him again, studying his face. He didn’t look any older or any different than the last time that she saw him.
;;MIKAH “Why would I bring you up, Alexander? That makes no sense, you…mean and meant nothing to me.”
She looks at him and he just smiles at her before shrugging his shoulders at her.
AF: “If I meant nothing to you, I wouldn’t be here right now, sweetheart. So, did you miss me?”
She shakes her head no at him.
;;MIKAH “Absolutely not.”
And she didn’t, which was what made her so confused as to why he was actually here in person. He was a part of her history she liked to pretend didn’t exist at all.
AF: “That’s a shame. I missed you.”
She rolls her eyes at him.
;;MIKAH “Right. Again, why are you here? You were a part of my life that doesn’t exist anymore. I never think about you or that you used to be the one that I went to for a fun time and nothing else.”
He raises an eyebrow at her.
AF: “So, I was a fun time? That’s great news, Miks.”
She resisted the urge to smack him as he smirked at her. She could remember just how annoying he’d been years ago. And her memory seemed to bring that up full force.
;;MIKAH “Drugs could make anything fun, Alexander. I’m betting they’d even make me like Mark Cross, given the right one that is.”
She looks at him, eyeing him over before she crosses her arms over her chest. She didn’t understand the whole situation going on but somehow, she wasn’t too worried about it.
AF: “Sounds like he’s a great guy to be around. But enough about that, why do you think that I’m here? This could be a long day if you don’t really talk about it.”
She looks at him and sighs before running her fingertips through her long blonde locks. She looks at him, studying his face as he looks at her with his eyes full of wonder.
;;MIKAH “I really don’t know, okay? I don’t even know why I’m imagining this things.”
She throws her hands up in the air and lets out an exasperated noise before looking at him again. It didn’t really take her too long to realize that she always created a pattern when it came to her personal life.
;;MIKAH “You’re the one that started my pattern….of dating or whatever you want to call it. You weren’t my first, clearly. But you were my first husband, legally. It wasn’t even a marriage that either one of us cared about. Not really, just an opener to what would be my life. Just like my match is going to be on Sunday.”
She looks at him.
;;MIKAH “I don’t hate you, you know. Not really. You just brought out that side of me back then but I don’t think that I could ever really hate you. You never did anything that would generate that type of feeling from me.”
She watches as he grins at her before he vanishes before her eyes and is soon replaced with Troy Hart. She blinks as she looks at him before feeling a pang in her chest. He could have been the one for her and probably should have been the one for her but she couldn’t handle it. She couldn’t handle the way he was nice to her all the time.
;;MIKAH “Troy…”
She looks at him, a sort of sadness in her eyes as she studies his face. She didn’t feel anything but guilt and sadness toward him.
TH: “Mikah…”
She knew that he wasn’t actually there and she knew that he was probably married with kids of his own by now and had that adoring family that they had at once talked about.
;;MIKAH “I..don’t know what to say to you.”
She didn’t either. She never knew how to handle him even though there wasn’t much that she could say to him that would matter anyways; he wasn’t real.
TH: “Say anything you feel that you need to say…”
He was always kind to her and it proved that he would be that way to her inside of her mind. She smiles at him, tenderly as tears are brought to her eyes.
;;MIKAH “I’m sorry, Troy. I’m so sorry…”
He reaches out and wipes a tear away from her face and she looks at him with a tender look in her eyes. He just smiles at her.
TH: “For what? You didn’t really do anything wrong..”
She smiles at him for a moment, thinking back about how their relationship had been. They’d tried twice but it never could last after everything.
;;MIKAH “Everything. Everything that we went through because of me. Because of my eating disorder that I couldn’t control or handle…”
She looks down at her knees before uttering the next words.
;;MIKAH “The miscarriage…”
It wasn’t something she liked to talk about or even think about but she knew that it had happened. And she really couldn’t blame anybody but herself. And she had for several years.
TH: “You know that that wasn’t your fault, right?”
He was always so tender and sweet with her.
;;MIKAH “But it was, Troy. I was still wrestling and still starving myself and throwing up what I did it to maintain a figure that was way too skinny anyways. You can’t say that it didn’t have some sort of damaging effect on the baby, Troy. And I’m so sorry that I couldn’t just…let you love me. I had walls built upon walls and I just…I couldn’t let you in the way that you had let me in…”
There were many regrets that she had when it came to her previous relationship with Troy. But the miscarriage was the one that always sat heavily on her mind.
TH: “I don’t think it effected the baby at all. And I don’t blame you for it, and you have to stop blaming yourself. You have two beautiful children right now and that’s great.”
Leighton had loved Troy as well and Mikah ripped her out of his life without any thought about the way it would have effected her. She watches as he starts to fade as she feels that pain starting to slip away. She smiles at him before blinking when The Jerk is sitting in front of her.
;;MIKAH “I definitely have no words for you.”
But yet, he still didn’t disappear from her sight.
The Jerk: “That’s funny. You always did when we were married; always starting stupid fights because SCW was always more important.”
She rolls her eyes at him.
;;MIKAH “I mean, it was. And you only resented me because of my success in SCW when you couldn’t get anything going for you.”
She knew that this interaction wasn’t going to be pretty at all.
The Jerk: “Right. Because we always have to fight about that. Your success over my failure.”
;;MIKAH “It’s the one thing that was always standing in our way, was it not? You couldn’t stand that I was one of the top champions in the company and you were nothing more than a jobber. It ate at you and bothered you so much that you had to make our marriage miserable because of it. It’s no surprise that I hated coming home when we were married and much rather would stay on the road.”
He laughs and she just rolls her eyes at him.
The Jerk: “You will never take responsibility for why our marriage ended, will you?”
She rolls her eyes.
;;MIKAH “Sure, blame me. I don’t even really care anymore. Can you just go away? I don’t even like you.”
She stares at him and relaxes once he finally disappears from her view. She relaxes before seeing Drake Green sitting there in front of her. She smiles at him and reaches out and touches his face, gingerly.
;;MIKAH “I don’t mind seeing you…”
She admits softly to him. They barely saw each other now and only when they had to when they were talking about Myles and all that
DG: “That’s good, seeing as we share a child.”
She smiles at him before looking him over.
;;MIKAH “You know, you’re the one relationship I fully expected to last until the end. I’m sad that it didn’t.”
She watches him before she looks down at her feet. She had always hoped that she would have stayed married to Drake longer than she had.
DG: “Me too, honestly.”
She smiles at him.
;;MIKAH “At least we got Myles out of it. He’s such a great kid, Drake. I wish…that he could have two parents together because he deserves it. He’s almost two years old and he’s so smart. I think he’s going to be like you….”
She smiles at him and he smiles back at her.
DG: “Nah. I think he’ll be more like you.”
She shrugs her shoulders.
;;MIKAH “I guess we’ll see, won’t we. I miss you, sometimes. Most of the time….”
She wasn’t even sure if he thought of her anymore or at least in that way. And she knew that their divorce was the right thing because she didn’t want to create a toxic life for Myles and wanted him to be better than the two of them and he couldn’t do that with their history.
DG: “I miss you too.”
She smiles at him before watching as he vanishes from in front of her just like the others and is replaced with Kristopher Ryans. She just stares at him, looking him over as he sits there with an expectant look on his face. She didn’t even really have anything to say to him; their “relationship” wasn’t real and was only an affair. She didn’t think that it was going to be something that was going to last but even when they had been sneaking around, she felt that it was more real than any relationship she’d been in. Healthier than any of the previous relationships she’d been apart of.
;;MIKAH “I’m not doing this. I’m not talking to you.”
She stands up and turns to walk away from him, not caring that she’d spent the time talking to the others. But she didn’t want to talk to him about anything anymore. She wasn’t sure where that came from or why that emotion was brought out in her when she thought about talking to him. But it was there.
A New Canvas
Date: 3/26/2021
ON CAMERA
”The opening match to Blaze of Glory features the Mixed Tag Team Champions taking on Ignorant Discord which consists of Kate Steele and Todd Warren Steele or whatever it is he goes by. Now don’t ask me why this match is the first on the card because it really makes no sense.
It shouldn’t even be the first match of the night but it just shows how little that the mixed tag team championships are thought about. And if Coby and I weren’t even the champions, I doubt that either of us would be booked on the card. Is this because of that stupid tournament? Definitely. I’ll put all the blame on that silly tournament that I stupidly decided to sign up for again. Because it always tries to take away the spotlight from the superstars and bombshells that compete weekly and bi-weekly for their spots on the shows and supershows of SCW. Is it a fun tournament? Sure, if you get a partner that is worth a damn. But sometimes, the odds are stacked against you. After all, why wouldn’t they be? This is Vegas.
But that’s neither here nor there. Not really as my focus isn’t on that silly tournament anymore. Because Coby and I are booked in a match that will be here before we know it. And do I even seem to care about it? Not really. I know that seems selfish and careless to admit but it’s the opening match without much thought put into it. I bet if you asked anybody who the Mixed Tag Team Champions are, they wouldn’t be able to tell you because the Mixed Tag Team Championships aren’t promoted like the Bombshell Championship or the Heavyweight championship. Or even the roulette championships of each division. And I really think that the mixed tag team championships should be higher ranked than the roulette championships. But I digress.
I shouldn’t be focusing on the way that people view the championships and how they’re ranked amongst people because that will not get me anywhere on Sunday. Kate and Todd aren’t going to be worried about the way the championships are ranked; no they’re going to be concerned with taking the championships from Coby and myself. And you know what?
They might be the ones to actually do it. We all know that Kate is talented in that ring. She’s beaten me before and hell, she’s got a record that’s pretty impressive when it comes to the ring. But she’s also a very busy woman and I’m thinking that maybe she’s taken on a little too much when it comes to juggling things in her life. How can she be focused on her band, her niece, and the match all at once? Sure, she can compartmentalize but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that maybe she has bitten off more than she can chew.
I’m sure she will bring up my little rendezvous with the boss because why wouldn’t she? It’s an easy thing to pick apart. It’s an easy thing to have a go at and it’s really the only thing she has to go at recently. The last match I was in? It wasn’t even my fault that we lost. It was my partner in the tournament that took that loss for us, so really I’m still technically undefeated. I haven’t been pinned in that ring since my return, so I’m going to continue to say that I’m undefeated because it’s technically true. And while Kate is good in the ring, I’m that much better than she is. And I can’t wait to prove it on Sunday. I can’t wait to show her the new Mikah; the Mikah she didn’t really get to face years ago when my heart wasn’t really into it.
I know that there’s also going to be rumblings about how Coby and I haven’t teamed together in a long time because of this tournament. And that’s also true. Can I tell you what he’s been up to? No, absolutely not. Can he tell you what I’ve been up to? Nope, absolutely not. Does he even know where I am? No. But does that mean that it’s going to affect the way that we team together? No. Because Coby knows that on Sunday? I’ll be there to back him up no matter what’s going on in my personal life or his. And that’s the basis of how a team should work. We shouldn’t be worried about how often a team works together in a match, but really on the fact of whether they can fully trust one another when it comes to showing up and competing in a match. And I always show up, even if I don’t want to.
I have complete trust that Coby has all the tools to beat Todd. And while Todd’s a complete idiot on Twitter and as a person, he’s not somebody that Coby is going to take lightly. Coby knows he has to take his opponents seriously and I have no doubt that on Sunday, he’s fully prepared to do just that. I really don’t have much to worry about when it comes to Todd; he can’t physically touch me in that ring and that’s just fine with me. I wouldn’t want scum like that to be able to lay a finger on me.
It still baffles me that Kate is married to such scum but hey, you do you, Katie girl.
The point is, Sunday is going to be the deciding point on what happens next in my life. And I’m going to start with a blank canvas on Sunday. It’s going to be a new slate and something is going to change. The Black Sheep are only going to be better and come out better from this match win or lose. Because even if we lose, we will have the opportunity to hold the belts again and you can bet that the next reign we have will be even stronger than before.
I’m sure Kate is ready but so am I. I’m not that person that has to be in a gym twenty-four seven to ensure that I can bring all I’ve got to a match; that’s always there. It’s not something that a lot of people have and I understand that. But it has always been something that’s come so easily to me. And I’m going to show Kate just how easily it is for me to get the upper hand when it comes to wrestling.
Just a few short days until we open the show and a few short days until the blank canvas starts again. And I can’t wait to see the wreckage that will entail in any way, shape, or form.
I hope you’re ready, because I most definitely am.
Ciao.”