Post by: Jake Sullivan on July 10, 2017, 10:31:10 PM
Ember wanted to come out to ringside with me and Kittie. I get that she wanted to be there to support me and she wanted to have a good time, but having my ten year old daughter at ringside would not have only been stupid, but a major liability. I stupidly called her a distraction, but she took it in a way that I just didn’t mean. And I’ve been trying to get her to talk to me ever since.
But she’s better at the silent treatment than anyone I’ve ever met, Kittie included.
She hid backstage the rest of the show and she wouldn’t speak to me when we returned to our room to gather our stuff and leave, instead choosing to cling to Phil and Maddie as much as she could. And she made it clear that she was not happy about having to return home to Las Vegas, either. Simply put, she’s throwing a tantrum at the worst, and quietest, level and I have no clue how to handle it. But now that we’ve just gotten home, I have to try.
Jake: Alright, Em. Enough is enough. You can’t keep ignoring me like this.
I set out bags down on the floor as I step inside the house behind Kittie and Ember. Ember tries to head straight upstairs, making a beeline for her room but I try to stop her.
Kittie: Maybe you should give her some time, Jake. She’s--
Jake: I have given her time, Kittie. It’s been almost twenty-four hours and she hasn’t spoken a word to me. Em, don’t head upstairs just yet, alright?
She either acts like she doesn’t hear me, or she flat out ignores me because she grabs a hold of the bannister and tries to head upstairs, and I take a step forward.
Jake: Em, stop! I’m trying to talk to you here, kid.
She stops on the second stop and slowly turns around and glares at me with the meanest look I could imagine her ever giving me.
Ember: I DON’T want to talk to you! Ever again!
I find her words pretty funny for some reason, and I let out a laugh. She folds her arms angrily as she glares at me, waiting for me to give her permission to go upstairs.
Jake: Well, that’s gonna be kinda hard to do considering you’re living here now. Look, I get that you’re upset with me and I’m sorry what I said came out the way it did, but I didn’t--
Ember: I don’t care! Leave me alone!
Jake: I’m not leaving you alone, kid. Not until we talk about this.
She stomps down the two steps and towards me, letting her arms drop to her sides.
Ember: My name is EMBER! Quit calling me kid!
Kittie: Jake, just let her--
Jake: Kittie, please let me handle this.
I quickly glance to Kittie and hold my hand up. She rolls her eyes, but holds her hands up in defeat and walks into the living room, taking a seat on the sofa. I turn my full attention back to Ember, hoping I can get somewhere with her.
Jake: Ember, I’m sorry. Okay? This has been an adjustment for all of us, especially me, alright? I’m new to this whole dad thing, and I’m trying my best not to make any mistakes. I didn’t mean for what I said to sound the way it did, but I need you to understand something.
Ember: I told you I don’t care. You think I’m a distraction!
Jake: Not in a bad way, Ember. If you were out there--
Ember: I DON’T CARE! I don’t want to talk to you anymore! I don’t want to live here anymore! I want to go back to Michigan!
I take a step towards her, understanding how hard this is, but she takes a step back, growing more upset.
Jake: Em, I know--
Ember: No! You don’t! I want my mom! I want my dad! I want to go back home!!!
Jake: I’m right here. This is your home.
Ember: YOU’RE NOT MY DAD! You never were and you never wanted to be! And this isn’t my home! Danny was my dad! He raised me! I’m a Blaze! I’m not a Sullivan! I HATE IT HERE! I WANT TO GO BACK HOME!!!
I try to reach out to her, but she smacks my hand away. She’s apparently done fighting as she turns around and I watch her storm upstairs. The sound of her bedroom door slamming shut follows and I look to Kittie, who has been watching the entire time and I’m left speechless and completely...lost.
Kittie: I tried to tell you to give her some time.
Jake: I had to try and explain it to her, Kittie. I didn’t mean to come across as an insensitive asshole last night. I was just trying to keep her safe! You know that!
Kittie nods and stands up from the sofa. She walks around it and up to me as I walk over to the stairs and just sit down on the third step, burying my head in my hands.
Kittie: I know you were, but she’s been through alot this last month. You shouldn’t push her like that, because it will only make things worse.
I shake my head and let out a frustrated sigh.
Jake: I just...How could she say all of that to me, Kittie? Especially after everything I’ve done for her this last month. Especially after giving her the chance to say goodbye to Electra and Danny...
I lower my head again and to my surprise, and I think Kittie’s, tears start to fall down my cheek. She sits next to me and wraps her arms around me as I feel myself starting to fall apart for the first time in...well...ever.
Kittie: That funeral wasn’t just for Ember, Jake. I think we both know that.
I turn my head and look to her and close my eyes. She was right, as hard as it was to admit. And, again, for the first time ever, I’m actually crying on Kittie’s shoulder as my mind fades back to that day...to the day we said goodbye to Electra and Danny.
]Friday June 2nd
Ann Arbor Michigan
I don’t know who, if anyone, is going to show up this afternoon. For Ember’s sake, I hope Danny and Electra were friendly with someone in the area so it makes it easier for her to deal with. It’s just fifteen minutes before the start of the visitation and the three of us are in the funeral chapel alone. Ember is sitting on a chair at the front of the chapel, her eyes glued to the Electra and Danny in their caskets. I tried to sit next to her, but she insisted on being alone for a little while so I’ve given her some space without leaving her completely alone.
Rage: This is weird, Kittie. It’s all so damn surreal. I don’t even know if anyone is going to show up and if they don’t, I don’t know how the hell I’m gonna be able to help her or make her feel better.
Kittie rubs my back and takes in a deep breath as we both watch Ember head up to the two caskets and kneeling in front of them.
Kittie: We’ll just have to figure it out if we have to, but don’t worry, alright? Either way this isn’t going to be easy for her to deal with.
I give Kittie a quick hug, at a loss for anything else to say. I watch Ember stay where she is, looking back and forth between Electra and Danny, when suddenly, I hear feet shuffling into the chapel. I turn towards the door to see a familiar face. A face I hadn’t seen in quite some time.
Rage: Roxanne? What the hell are you doing here?
I keep my voice down as I ask her through gritted teeth. Roxanne was not someone anyone was particularly fond of at any point in time. Her fiery red hair was pulled back and she was dressed very appropriately in a simple black dress. She frowns at me with my choice of words and she glances to Ember at the front of the funeral chapel before turning her attention back to me.
Roxanne: It’s nice to see you again, too, Rage...
Rage: How did you find out about this? No one has spoken to you in how long? At least a couple years?
She looks to Kittie and then back to me. I get the hint and I look down to Kittie, wide-eyed.
Rage: You called her?
Kittie: Yeah, I did. I’ll never understand why, but she was close to Electra, so I thought she should know. And I knew you were worried about no one showing up.
Roxanne turns her attention back to Ember. She’s returned to her seat away from the caskets and she has her head lowered.
Roxanne: Even from back here I see so much of Electra in her. I really can’t believe she’s gone.
Roxanne goes to walk up to the caskets to pay her respects, but I grab her by the arm and pull her back for a moment. A thought just hits me and I have to call her out on it.
Rage: Wait a second. I need to talk to you for minute, Roxanne.
Roxanne stares at me and pulls her arm away.
Roxanne: Oh, please, Rage. If you’re still bent out of shape about everything Electra put you through a couple of years ago...
Rage: That’s not what this is about. But I am curious about something. The two of you grew...close.
Roxanne chuckles and rolls her eyes at me.
Roxanne: I thought I made it clear there was nothing sexual, if that is what you are trying to get at.
Rage: Again, no.
Kittie: Rage...what are you doing? Now isn’t the time...
Rage: There’s a reason for this, Kittie. I’m not trying to start anything. And now is the time because I’m fairly sure that after Roxanne leaves, we won’t see her again so I have to know.
Roxanne lets out a sigh and shakes her head.
Roxanne: Know what, exactly?
I glance to Ember and then back to Roxanne.
Rage: Did you know about her? Did you know about Ember?
She stares blankly at me for a few moments, probably trying to figure out what to say. Her silence is answer enough, but I do my best to keep myself from getting angry. Which is unusual. I’m half expecting her to lie to me, but she had to have known. To my surprise, though, she tells me the truth.
Roxanne: Honestly? Yes, I knew. Not in the beginning but after some time I found out about her.
I furrow my eyes at her and feel my nostrils flare.
Rage: And you didn’t tell me? I guess that just proves how much of a bit--
She holds her hand up and I stop myself before I can finish saying what I really wanted to say. Though it’s fairly obvious what I was about to call her.
Roxanne: As if you would have believed me? Besides, it was not my business to tell you and she assured me she was going to tell you.
Rage: Only she didn’t. She went psycho and kidnapped Kittie in some twisted plan to win me back. Jesus Christ...
Kittie: Rage, come on...
She grabs a hold of my hand, squeezing it and trying to get me to calm down. I’m as calm as I’m going to be under the circumstances.
Roxanne: She wasn’t well, Rage. I understand that now. I tried to look out for her as best as I could, but--
Rage: But nothing! You knew she wasn’t right in the head yet you still used her in your twisted fetish world...
Roxanne: Look, I didn’t come here to bring up the past or open old wounds, Rage. I came here to pay my respects to my dear friend and to offer my condolences to her beautiful daughter. I’m terribly sorry about everything that happened in the past and that has happened since. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go pay my respects.
I turn away from her as she turns around and heads up to the front of the chapel. To my surprise, more people start filtering into the chapel now, but no one I recognize. I stand back for a few moments as I watch Roxanne introduce herself to Ember and the two talk for a few minutes. I try to avoid going up near the caskets, but Kittie nudges me and urges me to be near Ember to support her, and I realize she is right. I have to do what I have to...for her.
Back to the Present
Kittie: You never actually went up to the caskets that day. Why?
I take in a few deep breaths as I pull away from Kittie running my hands over my head. I honestly wasn’t sure why, but I came up with the only explanation I could think of.
Jake: She kept my kid from me, Kittie. For ten years, she had more than enough opportunities to tell me she never actually had that miscarriage and that we had a kid, but she didn’t.
Kittie: Well...I kind of understand why. I mean, it doesn’t make it any less shitty, but...
Jake: How fucked up is it that despite everything that bitch put me through...put us through...I never actually wanted to see her dead. Last year I made it seem like I didn’t believe she had changed, but honestly? I knew she did. I saw that much, and I knew she finally wanted to be there for Ember. Maybe I would have eventually given in and tried to be a part of Ember’s life, but I didn’t want it happen this way, Kittie. Not this fucking way, because she’s upset and I don’t even know how the hell to make her feel better.
I start to lose it again, as the events of the last month finally start to take its toll on all of us. As Kittie tries to comfort me on the steps, I hear Ember’s followed by her walking out. I turn around to see her standing at the top of the stairs, her eyes red and puffy from crying.
Ember: I’m sorry, Daddy...
I manage to crack a smile as she walks down the steps and sits down next to me and hugs me. I wrap my other arm around her.
Jake: It’s okay, Em...We’ve both said things we didn’t mean.
Ember: I miss Mom and Uncle Danny...
She starts crying again, burying her head into my side and I run my hand along her back trying to comfort her. I can’t even find the words to say, and neither can Kittie, so we just let her cry it out, and hopefully my next couple of weeks off from SCW will do all of us some good.
TBC…