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Roleplay Boards => Archived Roleplays => Climax Control Archives => Topic started by: Andrew on October 18, 2016, 06:47:21 AM
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HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY
NARRATOR: The saying goes that “Honesty is the best policy.” Although this is usually attributed to Benjamin Franklin it might have been someone else who came up with this saying. Since James Tuscini is one of the most honest people you will ever meet I will turn over the air time to James to allow him to honestly enlighten you. Honestly!
We join up with James Tuscini in his dressing room at the Coussoulis Arena in San Bernardino, California. We notice that his Uncle-Manager, Pinky del Ferrando, is not with him during this segment and also absent from the scene is Tuscini’s fiancée Sandy Erwin. James is casually dressed in blue jeans, a black pull-over shirt, and black athletic shoes.
JAMES: Thanks for joining me today. The saying is that “Honesty is the best policy” and I live by that saying. If someone isn’t going to be honest in their lives then they are living a lie of a life. Please allow me to jump in and toss a few honest comments your way to maybe, just maybe, enlighten you.
James instructs the cameraman to have the Network put up on the screen the math calculations he provided them. James pulls out a sheet that has the same math calculations on it as what we are seeing on the screen.
JAMES: You want honesty? You’re gonna get it. In Singles competition I’m 10-4-1 which, for you math flunk-outs, means I have winning percentage of 66.6 percent. I’m 3-1-0 in Tag Team which gives me a winning percentage of 75 percent there. Combined I’m 13-5-1 for a superb winning percentage of 68.4 percent. Are there some wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling with a better winning percentage? I assume there are. Are there wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling with a winning percentage lower than mine? Yep quite a few. That’s honesty. That’s truth. That’s me. Either deal with it and accept it or get the hell out of my way.
The cameraman slips a note to James to inform him that the Network is getting calls from viewers wanting to know where Pinky and Sandy are and why they are not with him during this segment.
JAMES: Honestly? Are you serious? Viewers want to know where Pinky and Sandy are and why they are not with me as I air this segment? Honestly it’s none of your friggin’ business where my family and friends are. However being the honest person I am, and honesty is the best policy, I suppose I’ll honestly enlighten you. Uncle Pinky is out shopping for snacks for our dressing room. Sandy returned to San Francisco. She is a Contractor working for companies that do Estate Planning which consists of Wills, Trusts, and managing Estates. There are a lot of things she needs to take care of in person so she is not always available to attend a wrestling event with me and Pinky even when the event is close to San Francisco. Although you are not worthy to know that information I felt that honesty is the best policy and I provided it. I suggest those who called in with that question figure out how to get a life instead of calling television Networks to get them to ask me nonsense stuff while I’m on the air. Stop trying to distract me from commenting on my upcoming match at Climax Control 162. Would the network put up my next graphic please?
Another graphic comes on the screen listing the outcomes of the matches James Tuscini has had against Ryan Keys. James pulls out a sheet with the same information as he reads the information.
JAMES: Here’s some honesty for you Ryan. On Sunday, June 5, 2016, at Into the Void V, I successfully defended the Roulette Championship against you, Steve Ramone, and Matt Spears, in a Pinfalls Count Anywhere match, when I applied the Torture Rack to Matt Spears for the win. You and Steve Ramone took the fight somewhere else but I got the win before either of you could do anything. Still a win for me and a loss for you.
Tuscini holds one finger up to indicate that first win over Ryan Keys.
JAMES: Then on Sunday, July 10, 2016, at Climax Control 153, I defeated you a in a Strap Match to retain the Roulette Title Belt. Do you remember what happened in that match Ryan? You honestly had me defeated as both of us had touched five corners and you reaching out for the sixth. All you had to do was touch the sixth corner and the match was over. But you got distracted and irritated and you decided to shove me and when you did you shoved me into the sixth corner where I touched the final corner for the win. Tsk tsk tsk. Inexperience destroyed you in that match.
James holds up two fingers to indicate his second win over Ryan Keys.
JAMES: And then on Sunday, July 31, 2016, at Summer XXXTreme IV, I again successfully defended my Roulette Championship, this time against you, Chris Shipman, and Casey Williams, in an Ultimate X Over-the-Pool Elimination Match. Just to refresh your memory you were eliminated first from the match by Casey Williams.
The graphic of the wins James Tuscini has over Ryan Keys comes off our screen and we return to a shot of James in his dressing room. We see James Tuscini holding three fingers up to indicate his third win over Ryan Keys.
JAMES: What’s up with Management sending me the same people I defeated numerous times to again challenge me for the Roulette Title? Steve Ramone was sent to me three times and he walked away 0-3. Ryan Keys you were sent to me three times and you also walked away 0-3. So what in the hell makes you think you can get a win over me when you are ZERO percent wins against me? You can’t say the third time is the charm as you lost on your third chance against me. There’s no saying that the fourth time is the charm so that blows that idea out of your head. Ryan you can bring whatever you want to our match but it will again be too little, too late, for you. Although you bring eye candy for the women to gawk over I bring a real manly man to the ring. While you are the inconsistent one, winning now and then and losing the same amount of times as you win, I maintain a 68.4 winning percentage. To be honest, Ryan, I don’t even want to bring out my calculator and try to calculate your winning percentage as I’m not sure if my calculator can produce negative numbers.
Tuscini lets out a hearty laugh before continuing with his comments.
JAMES: Har har har! Ryan I have no clue how you “earned” a shot at my Roulette Championship this time. Oh I know! You will try to tell me you just pulled off a win over Steve Ramone and that qualifies you to challenge me for the Roulette Title Belt right? So you’re 0-3 against me, and Ramone is 0-3 against me, so two all-time losers against me faced off and you win, and suddenly the bug crawls further up your ass making you squirm and you think you’re qualified to challenge me? Let’s see how qualified you are when MY hand is raised in victory once again. Train hard Keys. Also I want you to purchase all the good-luck charms you can find because you’re damn sure gonna need all the luck you can find to last for more than five minutes with me. Thanks for joining me today. And, no, Uncle Pinky hasn’t returned yet with the snacks, and I already told you that Sandy is back in San Francisco, so mind your own business.
James is done with his segment for today. He walks toward the camera and he grabs the camera lens cap and he places it over the lens which blacks out the scene. The Network takes the hint and cuts to a commercial break.