Chapter 36: Drinking to forget
I’m not someone who over indulges in alcohol. Ever. In fact, I’ve saved special occasions and holidays. But for some reason there’s been this problem eating at Me from the inside out. The last few months it has been breaking me down and all I can think about is the one, and only fact that I don’t matter. I don’t matter to him and I don’t matter to anyone. I exist in peoples lives as many other things, but I’m never the person that they want me to be. Or they need me to be. and because of that, I will always be alone.
I am an adversary, I am an antagonist, I am the big bad evil of some people stories. But what I will never be. Is the go to person for anyone. I will never be the preferred best friend option. I will never be the sister that my sisters come to talk to that will always be each other. I will never be the caring aunt, who looks over my nieces nephews with the kind of love that is secondary to their parents.
that is all I will ever be.
And now, now, I need to come to terms with that. It used to be that I would go for a run or try and channel my anger into something or productive. I would stare down a camera and let out all my rage against my opponent, who may, or may not deserve it. But the truth is, these days that doesn’t seem to be enough. Nothing seems to be enough any more, and all I carry inside myself as this unbelievably unbridled, anger and frustration. a self loathing.
A hatred.
Moments where I look in the mirror, and I’ll become disgusted with what I see. Not my looks, not every meticulous hair put into place or my make up. Not my cheekbones or the deep emerald in my eyes, seem to pierce through everything. Not my porcelain skin that I’ve tattooed with different stories from my past. I see the real Me. Someone unloved. Someone unlovable. And now? Now all I can do to forget is to drink.
Drink to forget.
Sounds simple enough. But then, sometimes it works to well. I twisted the top of the bottle, pouring some fireball into a glass with no ice and topping it up with a splash of apple cider. I smiled and took in the small. The cinnamon mixing perfectly with the apple to make an alcoholic apple pie in a glass. I took it down and sighed heavily. Happy with the feeling of the warm liquid running down my throat. It burned ever so slightly and I felt my head swim. I felt lighter. Happier. But, it was only temporary.
I heard a knock at the door, my eyebrow raising as I turned and walked toward the door, lightly swaying as I felt my head swimming. I reached out, placing my hand on the wall for balance and took a deep breath before looking up at the screen, the camera showing my sister and Kallie Reznik. I shook my head and looked around, 7pm on a wednesday. Wednesday. fuck Dinner.
They were here to take me out, to go have a “girls night” But I wasn’t in a place where I wanted or needed it. I was happy. Just me and my bottles of fireball and apple cider. I better get rid of them. I opened the door, Tasmin taking one look at me and going to grab Kallie, but she was too late. The bubbly, always hyperactive blonde bounced in, grabbing me into a hug. ”KAAAAYLAAAA…girls night!” I flinched. Even sober I hated this shit. Kallie backed up and stepped in before sniffing the air. ”It smells like apple pie in here…..well Applie pie where the apples were soaked in alcohol…”
I shook my head and moved back toward the bench, Tasmin walked in tilting her head and looking at the bottles. She sighed heavily and had that look on her face. A look of disappointment. And a look of pity. Fucking Pity. I ground my teeth together. I didn’t want to hear it. I moved around and grabbed my glass taking down what was left. Tasmin moved up and around to the other side of the bench. ”Starting the party early are we?” Kallie awkwardly backed up, I just laughed and shook my head. I then grabbed the bottle again pouring the fireball in first, then the apple juice. ”So, whats up? You don’t drink…”
”Often”
Tasmin paused and shook her head with a heavy sigh. Kallie looked at me, now sharing Tasmins visible pity. She then stepped forward finding her voice. ”So, why?. Whats’s wrong?”
I swallowed hard and shook my head again, I drank another one down. Feeling my head spin and my body float. ”Why not?...seriously…why does it matter Kallisto?”
She seemed to be taken aback by my use of her full name. I poured another and Tasmin folded her arms over her chest with a heavy sigh. ”This isn’t fun happy drinking, this isn’t having a few to unwind, this is…well I don’t know what this is. But it isn’t healthy. In fact I” I put my finger up, telling her to stop and wait as I drank the glass and put it down. I went to grab the bottle again, but Tasmin quickly moved her hand around and grabbed it before I could. My motor skills were not what they should have, or could have been. ”Nooooo we’re not doing this…”
”What the fuck?” Atleast, that’s what I said in my head. I’m sure coming out of my mouth it sounded different. Muddled. But understandable.
”No….stop this. You’re drunk and we haven’t even gone out to dinner…you remember that right? We had a night planned. You, me and Kallie? To plan for Dawns second birthday? Since…as you pointed out…most memories are formed around the age of two to three?...”
I threw my hands in the air. ”And why would you listen to me? I ain’t shit Taz.” It came out so much more “southern” American than I intended. Or wanted. Apparently I lose my auditory functions as well as my fine motor skills. Whisky is the devils sauce. ”You two don’t get it. You don’t need someone like me hanging around you, helping you do things like plan weddings and baby showers and birthday parties. Thats not my fucking life.”
I stepped back and folded my arms over my chest eyeing the almost empty bottle that Tasmin was now clutching. She narrowed her eyes as Kallie stepped forward. The sweet girl, doe eyes looking at me with care and affection. ”Kay, that isn’t true. You’ve been amazing with Dax and helped me like…so much.”
”Yeah but…why? Why am I involed this? You guys have great lives despite it all. I mean shit you” I pointed at Kallie. ”Have a barely functioning manchild as a husband and father to your son and you’re happy. And You.” My focus switched to my sister. ”...have a perpetually stunted beta male and a wonderful daughter….meanwhile what the fuck do I have?” I felt tears welling up and I shook my head
”Well, you could of had Finn but…he thinks you hate him…”
Tasmins eyes widened, and stepped back and mouthed quietly to herself Damn
I slammed my fist on the table, looking down and breathing heavily. ”I…..I…..this whole thing is my fault. He doesn’t….me….I could have had it, him, all of it. I wanted him but that night I froze because he wanted something else and I was wrong…amd I’m too fucking scared to tell him how I feel…” I don’t even know if what I was saying made sense. If Tasmin and Kallie could make out the words through my tears, drunken slurs and heavy breathing. But my hands balled into fists as my black painted nails scraped along my countertop.
And then I felt it.
A hand. Kallie’s hand, on mine, her other hand on my shoulder. I swallowed hard as she leaned in. ”Look, I live with the man and he never really shows his true feelings. It’s all very confusing…but, it’s not all your fault.” She hugged me, I let it happen, crying wildly as I felt Tasmin staring at the scene wondering just what in the blue fuck was happening in front of her eyes. I breathed deep and stood up straight, Kallie smiled at me and shook her head. ”To be honest Kay…you’re both kinda stupid for each other…”
I couldn’t help but laugh. The thought of a ditzy blond telling me of all people I was being dumb because of a man was outragiously funny. But in this case. True. Tasmin shook her head and grabbed my shoulders leading me toward the back of my apartment, to my bedroom. ”Come on…I think it’s time you slept the stupidity off…”
Kallie helped, moving me toward the room as I breathed in and then stopped. ”Wait…..DINNER…we were meant to go to dinner…I’ll be fine…give me ten minutes and I’ll look pretty.”
”No Kay it’s fine…you already look pretty honey.”
”I do?”
”Oh definitely pretty..”
”Oh the prettiest!”
We get to the bedroom, they lead me in, I lay down and relax ”Awww…TANKS!” I know what I said. Get over it. I was thanking them, I was tired, so very tired, Laying on my stomach, arm around a pillow, I felt it all slip away. I was tired. So very fucking tired.
Gratitude
”Before I start on what is about to happen, my expectations and what you, as fans, can also expect. I would be remiss to overlook the fact that Finn and I are STILL your SCW mixed tag team champions.”
The voice of Kayla Richards, breaking silence with her strong british accent. Her long black hair tied half up and half down with the high half ponytail done in small braids to give a cat o nine tails effect.
”For those of you keeping score at home, that means Finn and I, as of Blaze of glory, will be tied as the longest reigning mixed tag team champions ever. And we will also go on, regardless of what happens that night to become the record holders. Redefining what those championships mean as Finn, being the SCW world champion brings prestige to them through that. But it also shows another thing. It shows that when I speak, when I put my opinion on something and I tell you what my goals are…that I am being serious.”
“That I am being truthful.”
“That unlike others in this company when I talk it’s more than just empty, bloated words.”
“I told you, all of you, that I was going to be the internet champion. I won it, I then told you all I was going to avenge my loss to Keira and take my title back. And I did it. I thien went and did the same thing with Melissa, all the while telling every single one of you that Ariana did not belong in the ring with me and again. I did it and proved it. I want all of you to go through everything I have ever said, everything I have ever done and I want to to show me where I have been wrong or where I have lied. Cause even when I have lost, I have told the world what I was about to do and I accepted when someone beat me…”
“The reason you don’t hear Kayla Richards being humble and accepting defeat is because it so rarely happens.”
“I’m not like Bea Barnhart or Alexandra Calaway. I know how to win, I know why I will win.”
She pauses and moves around the small room, a non descript hotel room. One that wrestlers must get sick of seing the inside of as they travel about the US and the world. Promoting events and performing for thousands. But it is also where Kayla is, ironically, most comfortable.
”However, before we get into the match and before Julianna and I end up throwing hands or trying to wrestle, I want to hear one thing from you Julianna. One thing after the entrance music dies down and you and I are face to face in the center of a six sided ring with just a referee in earshot. I want two simple words Julianna.”
“Thank you”
“I want you to look me in the eye and say those two simple words. Cause I already told you how I have achieved my goals. And that’s the thing Julianna. We all have them. We all have goals and will do anything to attain them. But this one, this one goal that you have had that started this whole thing, is only being recognised and accomplished because of me.”
“That’s right…”
“Your precious main event that you wanted so badly is only there because of me. And, I have grown a little concerned about it, mainly because I realized that the need and want you have for this main event has clouded your vision. Made you delusional to the point of madness. And you need to take a step back and reevaluate what really matters to you.”
She smirks and shakes her head. That look plastered on her face that so many have seen before. Arrogance and disdain.
”All the shit you have talked Julianna. All of it. Will it matter in the long run if you lose to me at Blaze of glory? Hmmm? So, the truth is that I am a merciful person. So, if you wish to save face and not have to go through a brutal loss to me then I have a solution. A list of conditional surrender demands for you…” Kayla raises a finger and grabs a pair of glasses before unfolding a piece of paper. ”One, you surrender the SCW Bombshells title. To0 me. Two, you leave SCW for no less than six months and upon your return you start from the bottom and work your way back up. Three, you erect a full, life sized statue of me in the living room of your trailer park home that you bow to every evening and morning. You know. Simple things.”
She removes the glasses and puts them down on the small table in the middle of the room along with he refolded piece of paper.
”I know you’re a proud woman Julianna so I understand my terms may be hard for you to accept. Just like it is hard for you to accept that the record you so proudly throw at us, the undefeated one, becomes alot less impressive when we look at the names on there. See, on your way up the mountain you were able to fluke your way into a world title match with Courtney Pierce. A match that I really should have gotten over you. You then went on to beat Courtney in what many would consider to be a huge upset. And we all sat back and wondered why? Why did it happen that way? A question that was answered when, during the second match Courtney clearly didn’t give a shit and since has walked from the company.”
“You faced and beat a woman who never had the fucking heart of a champion who basically handed you the title and walked away. And since then, well, since then you have faced a line of challengers which, well it’s the exact opposite of a “murderers row”. Part their prime prima donnas like Mercedes Vargas, talented but average woman like ALexandra Calaway and Bella Madison. And of course, Bea Barnhart. A woman who shouldn’t even be in the same building as that championship let alone fighting for it.”
“But, that wasn’t your decision right? It wasn’t what you wanted?”
“I get it, being a champion myself there is a certain amount of line towing that needs to happen. But I want you to go back and watch what happened when Finn and I faced Limitless after we took the titles from them and they went about losing every significant match before getting their rematch. We were contractually obligated to face them, and we did. But the entire time we both asked, why. Why were we facing them. Same with Miles and Alexandra. So we called out Ben Jordan and Sam Marlowe, we called out Carter and Ariana. Because those teams had wins, those teams had history.”
“Those teams were legitimate challengers.”
“You did nothing of the sort. You gave Courtney her rematch, faced a woman who hasn’t done anything of note in years and then went about clearing the way of every single “mid” name we have. All the while I was standing, right here calling YOU out”
She points at the camera, clearly getting angry.
”Time and time again I mentioned you and called out out and it took you four months, four title defenses and other people to point out I was here for you to finally. FINALLY. Grow some balls and give me what I wanted. And make no mistake Julianna, it was the best and worst decision you have ever made. And you know why. Deep down you know exactly why. If you beat me, then you legitimize your reign and your little undefeated streak in ways that will finally make you close to the star level that you see yourself as. But if you lose? Well, it just means that everything I have said about you over the last few months is true.”
“And, now, well, now I’d like to go for a little walk down memory lane. See, when i came back to wrestling after a year off I joined a company called New Generation Wrestling. You, at the same time, went to the development company. West coast genesis. You played second fiddle to my younger sister while I became the goddamn world champion of the main brand.”
“You were a nobody.”
“I went on to different companies like Hybrid and became the grand champion there, I went to project honor and won titles there. I came here and instantly became a star. While you bounced from company to company having, as you would put it “mixed results” before turning up here and fluking your way into a world title from a woman who took her ball and went home.I have been a star everywhere I have gone while you, you seem to have grown an ego. Grown one when you won a title that you have defended against women who didn’t deserve it.”
“But, I did. I deserved it.”
Kayla scoffs and rolls her eyes.
”And for weeks, weeks since you finally shifted your gaze to me you have done what you always do. Week after week you go to the show, you grab a mic and you chew up broadcast time all becauser you love the sound of your own voice. And you might call it “promotional work” But, I know the real reason. See I got in the ring with you and said everything I wanted to say to your face. I said more when we signed the contract, I then left it at that and fixated on defending the mixed tag team titles.”
“But you didn’t.”
“You have continued to go out there on the show, whether you were booked or not. And run your mouth about me. And it makes me wonder, what else could you possibly have left to say about me without constantly repeating yourself? Cause it ain’t much. But, the final show, something did catch my interest. The comments that I want everything you have. And I know what you were trying to do. You were trying to rattle me. Trying to get me angry. Mad, pissed off.”
“But there’s a small problem Julianna. You talked about how I want your “dominant” streak, despite the fact I have won. I have barely any losses in singles matches, undefeated with Finn in tag matches. But, as far as that title? Do I want your position? Do I want the power, the money the title the prestige?”
“You’re goddamn right I do.”
“If there is anyone in that locker room who doesn’t want that title, anyone who doesn’t want to earn the right to stand on top of the mountain, raise the title up in the air and call themselves the best then they do not deserve to be here and should leave. So at Blaze of glory I am coming to take it all from you. I am coming to take your streak, your title, your spot as well as the responsibility that you have failed at to actually elevate the title because unlike you I am aware that the title does not make the persons legacy, the persons legacy makes the fucking title…”
“And I will take it all from you.”
Chapter 37: Drinking to remember
Feelings are horrible. They are a double edged sword causing the human race to do great things but also inherently stupid things. Great works of art like paintings and poetry as well as songs are mixed in with moronic acts of emotional explosion. And as much as I want to disconnect myself from that I have had to admit…
I’m no fucking different.
As much as I want to be, as much as I want to pretend, I’m. It. I’m not different from any of you. I have feelings, thoughts and needs. And Finn had decided to take everything I know everything I felt. And shatter it. Going from a place of awkward but confortable communication and cooperation to having it out and pushing me away, only to tell me he was scared of losing me.
Losing me. Those words cut me deep but also gave me a warm feeling I never dreamed I would get back. It left me confused and scared. A revelation I hated. And now I found myself back to where I was a few days ago. At home.
With a bottle in front of me.
But this was different. Going from drinking to forget. To numb myself, to break myself, Toto this. Drinking to calm myself and think more clearly. My hand wrapped around the glass, filled with straight vodka this time. No ice, just burning clear potato sweat.
My phone buzzed. I knew who it was. Kallie, reminding me about dinner again. Take two of something we tried last week, when I instead passed out on my bed like a pathetic child. This time I was ready. Finishing my one and only drink and walked toward the door, opening it to let them in. Tasmin laughed as she stepped in but her demeanour changed as she saw the glass on the kitchen bench
”Again Kay?” I tilted my head and raised an eyebrow. I was dressed in a tight white dress, my hair done, makeup done. She quickly realised her mistake and shook her head. ”Are we going to get to dinner this time?” Kallie stood behind her with a small smile. I simply gave a nod and laughed.
”yes! I am so hungry!”
I closed my eyes and sighed heavily. Part of me wanted to throttle her. She told Finn where I loved. Told him where to find me. And on one hand that annoyed me to know ends. But on the other….i was too proud to tell him and I was glad she did. ”Kallie…” she raised an eyebrow and looked over at me as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. ”is there something you would like to share with the class?”
She went silent and blinked a few times ”No?” I stared a hole right through her. Staying silent and slowly folding my arms over my chest. Her eye twitched, she swallowed. And then, predictably, she broke. ”OHMYGODIMSORRYBUTIGOTAWHOLEBOXOFAPHMAUS”
Tasmin looked at me and then back to Kallie. I sighed heavily and looked at Tasmin matching her gaze ”I know that was English. But what is she talking about?”
”A small box with a plushie kitten”
”Yeah that tracks…”
Kallie looked down at her feet, tracing circles with her toe looking dejected. Almost wimpering. ”I’m really sorry.
”Thank you for doing it…” She looked up, caught off guard by my thanking her. Tasmin raised an eyebrow looking surprised. I smiled and gave her a nod stepping forward and tapping her on the shoulder ”You’re a good friend…I was too proud and arrogant…and petty…to give Finn my address….”
Tasmin smirked. ”You? Petty? Never.”
”Fuck off…”
Tasmin laughed and I shook my head before walking over to grab my purse. Kallie cleared her throat and smiled ”Did….things go alright?” I turned and gave a nod. They did. But I didn’t want to go into specifics. I moved toward the door and opened it before stopping in my tracks with a sneer.
”The fuck are YOU doing here?”
Kallie and Tasmin stopped dead behind me wondering the same thing I was. Aaron asphyxia, Finns ex-wife, trainer at Wolfslair and general pain in my ass stood before me with a giant shit eating grin on her face. She walked in, shoving passed me.
”Sure come on in…”
”I planned too.” I sneered and folded my arms. Aaron moved through my apartment looking around with an almost impressed tut under her breath.
I stepped forward and shook my head ”I’d give you the grand tour but we were about to go out to dinner. So if you’d kindly fuck off..”
”Oh Kayla. Charming as always.”
I growled. I couldn’t help it. Her presence just made me angry. As much as I respected her attitude and skills as a trainer I hated this butch as a human being. Kallie slowly shuffled over to me, whispering low so Aaron wouldn’t hear. ”I didn’t tell her.”
”I know Kallie. Don’t worry. I’m well aware that this ratchet cunt sniffed me out on her own.”
Kallies eyes widened she had never seen anyone speak about Aaron like this. And I could tell. Well aside from Finn of course. ”Nice place Kayla. I think Finn would approve” My nostrils flared she chuckled and shook her head as Tasmin just say back, bemused. And Kallie continued looking awkward at the entire situation unfolding. ”Not that he’s been in here though…right?”
”What is it you want Aaron?”
She moved into the living room, turning and flipping down on my couch, throwing one leg over the other and relaxing. ”I want to help you”
I laughed and shook my head stepping forward toward her. ”Help me?…is this a prank? I don’t do jokes so..”
”Just shut up for a second….i know you and Finn have been….going through a rough patch.” I ground my teeth together. She smirked. ”You need to make it all better.”
”Make it all better? How? Hmm? We talked. I know he doesn’t want to lose me. I know we are more than just “tag partners.” I folded my arms over my chest again. Pushing my tits together deliberately. Since Aaron is severely lacking in that department.
Aaron narrowed her eyes. Knowing exactly what I was doing before leaning in close. ”My god you and Finn are so alike it’s scary. Neither of you morons can get out of your own way to just be happy. All because of pride.”
I moved closer. My movements methodical and slow. Tasmin walked over behind me. Opening my pantry door and taking a bag of Doritos before sitting on my kitchen bench offering some to Kallie. ”Nooo we’re going to dinner soon”
”Are we though”
Kallie thought for a moment and turned, sitting next to Tasmin and plunging her hand into the bag. ”Get out of our own way? What would you know about it?”
Aaron sneered, throwing her arms over the back of my couch like some kind of supervillain about to tell me her grand plan. ”I know you spent months throwing yourself at him. Then on the night where you and he could have had your moment you did nothing” I ground my teeth together and took a deep breath in. It was still a sore spot.
”Right. My big mistake was not fucking him. I should have learned from you and not only not fucked him but instead fuck everyone else.”
There was silence. An awkward silence where you could hear a pin drop. Only broken by a sharp inhale from Kallie as she covered her mouth in shock.tasmin on the other hand stopped with a Dorito right in front of her mouth. Aaron pushed up from my couch and stepped closer. She wasn’t angry, or frustrated. She was annoyed.
”Look, Salem witch trials Barbie, I don’t have time to go into the intricate nature of the toxic relationship that he and I had.” she raised a finger and shook her head. ”But he is an idiot. As smart and quick witted as he can be he is a barely functioning man child when it comes to love..”
I swallowed hard and stepped back ”Love?”
Aaron threw her hands in the air with an exasperated sigh. ”Yes! You idiot. He fucking loves you. A fucking blind man in China can see it…” she loved passed me and headed toward the door. ”He just needs a little push…..so think about that…and enjoy your dinner…”
She grabbed the handle and I cleared my throat. ”Aaron….thanks…” she stopped and scoffed, shaking her head ”Try not to fall on any random dick on your way home..” I heard the door close. I was simultaneously more confused than ever. But, with clarity. I know, I’m a contradiction….
Dominance
”What is dominance?"
Kayla slowly smiles, showing her pearly white teeth and her raised eyebrows. Waiting for an answer that will never come.
”It’s a question that I’ve asked for. And something that I feel needs to be examined. At the risk of repeating myself like Giuliana does whatever she cut 50,000 promos and then decides to use the same thing over and over again I wanted to have a closer look at what it is to be dominant. Since she loves to throw that word around with her undefeated streak and try and act like it means something. So I’ll ask him what is dominance?”
She steps forward, her hands behind her back as she takes a power stance.
”I believe that dominance in professional wrestling is something you just see. As in you know it when you see it. But you can’t just be told what it is. When it comes to the bombshells division, you know that someone like Mikah was dominant. Same as Alicia Lukas and Amber Ryan. You don’t need to be told you can just see from their actions and what they did that they were the dominant forces in their time.”
“And you know that they had in common? They didn’t celebrate kicking cans. They didn’t celebrate the small victories over people who didn’t even belong in the ring with them. They strive to be the best and they want challenges day and day out. They asked to face the best and they tried to make them sure that the company brought in the best of face them. shit, Alicia Lukas talked Roxi Johnson into coming back.”
“Is that what Julianna did?”
“I’ll admit that eventually she came after me. But it took so much poking and prodding on my end to get her to make that challenge. It took Me calling her out in promos on television before my matches and mentioning her on Twitter before she would eventually make the cold come after me because I got her skin. she never looked at peoples records and wanted to challenge. She just wanted the gold belt because it was shiny.”
Kayla scoffs and shakes her head.
”Is that what being a champion is? Is that what being the top champion is? Pretending that you’re the best by having an undefeated streak littered with people who shouldn’t even be in the ring with you? Having a championship reign that is being punctuated by kicking around people who shouldn’t be allowed to be in the same room as the championship let alone have title matches? Is that the kind of champion you want to be”
“That damn sure isn’t the kind of champion I want to be. So before I get into the stupidity that you said last week let me just be very clear and frank on this. Because I feel like I need to make a mission statement when it comes to that championship and what I will do if I become the world bombshell champion. I will go and call out the best this company has to offer. I will go out of my way to go after people who are in other companies who I know can shake things up around here and be the best.”
“I will welcome the challenges from everyone. Anyone who actually has a good record around here who I think could beat me for that championship.”
“Cause what is the point of facing people I know I can beat? What would be the point in going after people who are beneath Me? People who wouldn’t be able to win if I had one arm tied behind my back had a broken leg. There is no point. Being a champion means pushing yourself and trying to elevate that championship higher as well as making yourself look better and bringing the division up to meet you. That is not something that Juliana DiMaria has done and to be frank..”
“She should be ashamed of herself.”
A small sneer comes across Kaylas face before she clears her throat an continues.
”But then again what do I expect from someone like you? You actually stood there and said that I take everything as a slight against me. Well, that isn’t exactly true. Part of Me can see why you have that impression. I take everything you do as a slight against me. Because you are everything that is wrong with this business and everything that is wrong with people getting championships when they are simply not ready. And trust me on this Juliana you will not ready. you fell into your position is champion by share happenstance. Almost like Rainman counting cards at the casino you somehow got Delta hand that was winning. And we haven’t been able to stop hearing about it since.”
“I look at you and see someone who is in a position that they don’t deserve to be in. You are holding a championship that has such an amazing lineage. A lineage of people who deserved it and some who didn’t. And instead of taking a stand and trying to be someone who deserves to have that championship you have floundered and failed and done nothing to prove any of us wrong. So when I see someone like you Walts into this company, have an undefeated record against people who shouldn’t even be challenging you, and then defending that said championship against people who don’t deserve it? your damn I take that as a slight. I take your existence as a slight. Because I am better than you.”
“I’m better than hell of a lot of other people who you have faced.”
“And as far as your little comment about me being the only one to deserve it in my mind? No. There are others who probably could’ve jumped up and had a shot at you. Bella Madison as much as I think that she rides on her family name a little too much and isn’t the woman who she needs to be still deserved that championship match against you. you could’ve called out any number of legends, you could’ve called out anyone on the roster. But you just let them handpick a bonus to shove it you who didn’t deserve it. So in this moment at this time with everyone else who is currently not in or injured, I am the one who deserves a match against you against you.”
Kayla shakes her head, getting more agitated as the moments go by.
”And the sheer arrogance in some of your statements makes me look like one of the most selfless people on the roster. And that is taking some doing because I am nothing if not arrogant. But, as far as your little rant about how I’m apparently some kind of delicate flower? I wouldn’t exactly call it that. You know what I am Juliana? I am passionate. I love professional wrestling. I might not like or love a lot of other things in my life but this business is something that I do Love and I will do everything to protect.”
“This business is somewhere that you can rise up from nothing and become something off the sweat of your own back. You are only limited by your imagination and you can do whatever it takes to get ahead. That is what this business is. This business is something that can take a little scared girl from Norwich England and make them into a star. So you sit there and call me a delicate flower because of how angry or frustrated I get about some of this? it’s passion. And if you don’t have a passion for this business that I do and you don’t want to face the best and be the best? Then drop the title and get the fuck out.”
“Leave. And don’t come back.”
“See that seems to be something else that you were wrong about. You called me a keyboard warrior. Implying that all I did was type about you on Twitter. Either that or you seem to think that I write my promos out instead of standing in front of the camera and say them. Which I also did and called you out every single week. but what would you like me to do to get your attention?”
Kayla strokes and steps back, folding her arms over her chest.
”there is plenty that I could’ve done. I could’ve come out and distracted you during a match. I could’ve stood at the top of the rampway and just watched you. But that would’ve interfered in a title defence. And then someone else who was even less deserving would’ve held that championship. so what else could I have done? I could’ve waited until a match was over and attacked you. Made a statement by beating you into the ground and standing above you and I could’ve held that championship high..”
“But, that would have been seen as a shortcut..”
“I could have waited until I match was over and then come out with a microphone and cut a saving promo on you out there. But I had already said so much in other promos leading up to matches that I had won. It would’ve seemed like overkill. No Juliana, I needed you to be the one to open your eyes and your mouth. you were the one standing there talking about how this division needed to raise up when you weren’t doing a goddamn thing to help it..”
“Your sermonizing only goes so far. You stand up on your soapbox and you seem to think that you can lay waste the entire division verbally and tell us all that we need to step up yet when someone does you then criticize how they do it. I came at you the best way I knew how by pointing my finger in your chest and telling you over and over again that you were failure until you finally acknowledged me and decided that I was worth your fucking time.”
“And now. Here we are.”
“This main event that you wanted so much is within your grasp. The only problem is that you are now facing someone who is going to snatch it from you. I already told you why I want to be a better champion in the new and how I will go about it. But all I’ve heard from you is excuses. All I heard from you last week in your promo was the same bullshit that you have thrown at me over and over again on the show. You haven’t said anything you haven’t come up with a way that you are going to be a better champion. You haven’t come up with a way to make the division matter any more than it already has you? You have done nothing but fail and you are going to continue to fail because your attitude will not allow you to see the forest through the goddamn trees.”
Kayla takes a long deep breath and calms down before laughing and shaking her head.
”I don’t no what is going to happen. I really don’t. You and I are going to get in the ring in the main event of the biggest show of the year. One of us is going to walk out with that championship and the other one is going to have to deal with failure. people know what happens when I lose. It happened before. I’ve been defeated and watch someone walk away with my championship. And all it did was make me stronger. All it did was make me come back after that same person with even more anger and venom and take that championship back.”
“I’ve been beaten.”
“I’ve felt defeat here.”
“You haven’t.”
“So how will you deal with it. I beat you and I take that championship I go onto keep on defending it and I will make that championship mean more. But what about you? You lose and then what? Your entire identity has been wrapped around this myth that you are undefeatable. This self perpetuated bullshit where you like to go out there and Reminders so if you’re zero loss record. You fell into a championship, congratulations, you have a great win loss record based off of facing people who are not the best. but when you make that your entire fucking personality? Then when it all comes crashing down and you’ve lost you have nothing else.”
“You need to come to terms with that. You need to come to terms with the fact that I am out to take everything from you. I will take that championship, I will take your undefeated record, and I’m going to take your entire personality, every single piece of being that you are that you were perpetrated to the world and shown yourself to be, I am going to take it all from you and I’m going to leave you with nothing. then, we will see what kind of woman you are.”
“If you lose then I’m going to sit and wait, I’m going to wait and see if you pull yourself back up and come right after me with the same venom that I go after everyone else with. Because this is a warning. Giuliana, if you beat me and you don’t do a good enough job to end Me? I’m going to come back after you better better and stronger than ever because this will not be over. I will hound you with everything that I am. So you better make damn sure if you were gonna come at me you better not miss. And if I beat you?”
“You better grow some balls and come at me the exact same way. Do you want to prove that you’re a champion? Do you want to prove that you’re different from everybody else? That’s how you do it. But until that moment you are still nothing but a scared little girl hiding from the best in this business.”
Kayla shakes her head and sighs heavily. Her eyes trail down and then over to the mixed tag team championship sitting on the table, she then looks back toward the camera with an arrogant smirk etched on her red painted lips.