{The scene opens inside the Hero’s guild HQ. Roxi has been summoned to appear, and she is dressed in her costume, walking through the facility until she reaches the raised platform, and the tribunal area, where she enters. Seated above her, is Captain Freedom, one of the heroes in charge.}
Roxi – You wanted to see me, sir?
Captain Freedom looks down at Roxi as shuffles through some papers in front of him.
Captain Freedom – Lady Bedlam, you have served this planet and its people will in your time as a hero. You along with Lady Kat have participated in many battles over your years of service, all while keeping our bond with the people of the world as strong as it was before your arrival.
Roxi – Thank you, sir.
Captain Freedom – We know that the battle against the forces of evil and those who would do harm to this planet and its people is a continuous battle and appears to be never ending. As that is the case, you, as well as others who have served for a number of years, understand how difficult it is to maintain numbers. So, we have added another group of trainees recently to our ranks.
Roxi – Good thinking, sir.
Captain Freedom – And as one of our most trusted members, we have assigned one of the trainees to you.
{Roxi sighs, but nods.}
Roxi – Yes, sir.
Captain Freedom – His file is on the table beside you, and he is waiting for you to begin his training.
Roxi – Yes sir.
Captain Freedom – We know you will do very well in training him.
Roxi – Thank you, sir.
Captain Freedom – That will be all. Good luck.
Roxi – Yes, sir.
{Roxi turns and picks up the file, and proceeds to open it and gives it a look. She nods and walks out of the tribunal hall and down towards the training grounds. Roxi views most of the folks in training, practicing using their powers or improving their skills. However, this is one of the trainees who is off to the side, not training, Roxi looks up, and wouldn’t you know, it’s the same person she has to train.}
Roxi – You must be Cypher.
{Cypher looks up, his expression changes to one of a smile and apprehension.}
Cypher – Yes.
Roxi – Hello, I’m Lady Bedlam, I’ll -
Cypher – Oh wow! Lady Bedlam, you’re in a lot of the articles we read.
Roxi – Great. I’m here to help train you. I see that you’ve been approved for some field work.
Cypher – Yes ma’am.
Roxi – Alright...
{Roxi looks Cypher up and down at a quick glance.}
Cypher – Yes?
Roxi – Is that your costume?
Cypher – Oh, yes.
Roxi – And you’re not training right now.
Cypher – Oh, uh, no. My skills really are mental vs physical.
Roxi – Then... how do you expect to fight crime?
Cypher – I can hold my own in a fight, but that’s not primarily what I do.
Roxi – Right. I’m looking at your file and you seem to have a lot of skills.
Cypher – Yes, ma’am. I am fluent in well over 6,000 languages and dialects. I am able to hack into any security or defense system in the world. Plus, I’m able to shape shift, so... I don’t really need a costume. Most of the damage I can do is on the stealthy side, so I don’t really need to wear a costume most of the time.
Roxi – Impressive.
{Cypher demonstrates his power by shape shifting into Roxi’s Lady Bedlam persona.}
Cypher – See? It’s that easy.
Roxi – Yeah, I see.
{Cypher quickly shifts back.}
Cypher – So, really, infiltration is what I do. You know, controlling information and getting back to the heavy hitters. At least, that’s what the guild sees me doing.
Roxi – You can be a valuable asset no doubt about that. Did the guild assign you a place to stay?
Cypher – Yes ma’am. I have a temporary apartment in your sector for training. Once my evaluation is complete, I will be reassigned.
Roxi – Good. So, I want you to meet me later tonight for a patrol.
Cypher – Yes ma’am. It’s a date! Err... I’m sorry.
Roxi – It’s fine. Tell you what, I’ll meet you. I have the address here, and we’ll go out on a patrol, and get you used to the city.
Cypher – No problem. I will go home and download the map of the city to my system.
Roxi – Wait... are you like... part robot?
Cypher – Oh, ha. No. I was born a little different obviously. I have the ability to memorize things very quickly. So, I can usually find my way around place very easily once I see them.
Roxi – Also impressive. I will meet you, and we’ll get to know everything. It should be a quiet night, but, if for some reason there is an issue, as a trainer, I will advise you on any actions.
Cypher – Yes... yes ma’am.
{Roxi smiles and sticks out her hand and Cypher shakes it.}
Roxi – Good.
Cypher – I look forward to working with you, it’ll be an honor and privledge.
Roxi – Thank you, but let’s stay focused on the task at hand, okay?
Cypher – Oh... yes... yes ma’am.
Roxi – Great. 11pm, I’ll be there.
Cypher – Looking forward to it.
{The handshake breaks and Roxi turns and heads back home, not exactly thrilled about what she has to do, but still pretty upbeat about it.}
{Having returned home, Roxi is now seated on the couch watching television and looking at her phone. Keira exits a room and heads into the living room, plopping herself down on the couch and stretching.}
Roxi – Rough day?
Keira – It’s exhausting sometimes just even watching stuff, but I’m getting close.
Roxi – I see. Well, just keep focused.
Keira – I will. What about you and Andrea?
Roxi – I’m working on it. I just have to deal with other stuff right now.
Keira – What stuff?
Roxi – They assigned me a new recruit to train.
Keira – Oh. Wait, you mean like you did me?
Roxi – Yes, It happens from time to time. We need all the help we can get.
Keira – So... is she cute?
Roxi – Well, it’s guy, so I don’t think you’d be interested.
Keira – Oh. Well last time it was a girl.
Roxi – Yes, and last time you got jealous and fought with her the whole time, and it really didn’t go so well. That wasn’t good, and that’s probably why you’re not training people.
Keira – I can train people. I know I can.
Roxi – Look, it’s not a big deal, I was just joking. The point is, I’ve got this guy to train and so I need you on standby if anything goes wrong. It shouldn’t, but you know, so 75-foot monster shows up, I might need some help.
Keira – You know you can count on me. I will always be there if you need me.
Roxi – I know. I’m just saying that my attention needs to be focused on him for right now.
Keira – I see, you’re leaving me after all this time... Well, I guess it’s all over.
{Roxi sarcastically laughs and shakes her head.}
Roxi – Har har, very funny. You know I didn’t mean it like that. Knock it off and quit being dramatic.
Keira – No, it’s the end of the world!
Roxi – You know we stopped that. Twice by my count.
Keira – We did. We really did.
Roxi – Anyway, I'm doing this training and it’s going to take up some time. I was just letting you know.
Keira – Right, I get it. But are you going to be able to focus on Andrea, that’s more important to me than dealing with a trainee.
Roxi – Andrea is... a problem, I’m aware of that. I’m not discounting her by any stretch of the imagination. I just have this thrown in my lap right now, but trust me, I will make time for Andrea.
Keira – Alright, just making sure.
Roxi – Don’t worry about it.
{Keira sits up and leans forward, before turning back to Roxi.}
Keira – So, what’s he like?
Roxi – He’s... he’s a kid, really. He seemed almost starstruck.
Keira – Well, you have been a superhero for a long time.
Roxi – Yeah, I guess. I’m meeting him tonight for a patrol.
Keira – Now you’re going on a date?!! What is this?!
{Roxi just rolls her eyes.}
Roxi – It’s not like that, and you that.
Keira – I’m watching you, Roxi Johnson.
Roxi – I’m sure you are. You just keep your focus, champ.
Keira – Oh, I will. You just don’t forget about Andrea.
Roxi – I won’t. She’s been on my mind since she hit me in the back of the head with a mug.
Keira – And you need to kick her ass for that.
Roxi – Oh, I plan on it.
Keira – Why is she so obsessed with you anyway?
Roxi – Because... I was her hero.
Keira – Oh.
{Keira says nothing for a moment to let it sink in.}
Roxi – And in a way, part of me understands.
Keira – Yeah... that’s... that’s crazy.
Roxi – I understand about having a hero in your life and what they mean to people. Whether it’s sports or whatever. It makes sense. Someone to look up to, and I feel like... I don’t know, maybe I did let her down.
Keira – Well, somewhere along the line you did, but then again, I’m sure you aren’t the only one who let her down.
Roxi – Probably not. But it still hurts.
Keira – I know.
Roxi – Anyway, I’m... gonna make some dinner. It’ll be ready soon.
Keira – Roxi?
Roxi – Yeah?
Keira – It’s not your fault. You explained it to me a long time ago, you can’t be everything, and you can’t save everyone. No matter how hard you try. Don’t spend all your time wondering what could have been and how things could have been different. The reality is we can’t change it.
Roxi – I know that, but it doesn’t make it any less painful. To have someone look up to you and idolize you and then lose that over something that you did or didn’t do is painful to sit through. I don’t want to lose fans and friends. I feel like I let too many people down as it is.
Keira – You don’t. Trust me. You go above and beyond almost all the time, no matter who it is. Maybe at the end of the day, no matter what you did or didn’t do, Karen would have hated you. Karen’s hate everything when it doesn’t go their way. Come on, you watch enough youtube videos to know that about them.
{Roxi shakes her head.}
Roxi – This isn’t a Karen situation, Keira. Sure, she’s complaining about everyone and everything, but with me, this is a personal thing. In her mind, I hurt her, and so, she’s decided to hurt me back.
Keira – But you didn’t.
Roxi – In her mind... I did.
Keira – No, I’m not going to let you think about it like that. Listen, She’s mad at everyone, she’s mad at everything. She’s just jealous. She’s jealous of you. Because you are where she wants to be. That’s it. Don’t let her manipulate you into thinking that this is your fault. Because it’s not. It is not, Roxi.
Roxi – Okay, it’s not.
Keira – No, say it like you mean it. It’s not your fault.
Roxi – It’s not my fault.
Keira – Thank you.
{Roxi sighs and nods, heading into the kitchen to begins to make dinner as the scene fades.}
{We are now at the temporary apartment set up for Cypher, Roxi is in costume and appears at his front door, She goes to knock but the door is opened by a woman, standing and smiling at Roxi.}
Woman – Um... can I... help you?
Roxi – I'm sorry I...
{Roxi then stops, looking around the area and feeling the energy of the surroundings. She turns back to the woman.}
Roxi – Good try, Cypher.
{The woman smiles again, and walks into the apartment and quickly shape shifts back to his normal form.}
Cypher – Really? Was it good?
Roxi – It would have fooled me if I couldn’t sense your energy.
Cypher – Hmm... I’ll have to remember that.
Roxi – Anyway, are you ready?
Cypher – Yes, ma’am. I am. Though I do have a question.
Roxi – Okay, what is it?
Cypher – I’ve been thinking on taking on a new name.
Roxi – Okay?
Cypher – I mean, Cypher sounds great and all, but It doesn’t have the ring like a “Lady Bedlam” does. You know? It needs pizzaz! It needs some umph.
Roxi – And you came up with a new name?
Cypher – Yes... The Human Cypher! What do you think?
Roxi – Uh..
Cypher – You don’t like it? Please tell me you like it.
{Roxi shrugs, unable to lie to Cypher}
Roxi – The Human Cypher is a bit much. That’s overkill. You don’t want overkill. Besides, who’s really going to call your name? I mean, most I ever get it is “you” or “her” or “bitch” or whatever, but nobody really says “I’ll get you Lady Bedlam” before, during, or after a battle.
{Cypher frowns, clearly upset.}
Cypher – You hate it.
Roxi – No, I don’t hate it. I just think it’s a bit much. Look, if you want to change your name to the Human Cypher, you go ahead.
Cypher – No... no it’s fine. My ideas have been rejected plenty of times before.
Roxi – Listen, Cypher, Human Chyper, it’s fine. I didn’t mean to stomp all over the idea, any idea you have is fine with me. Okay?
Cypher – Very well. I guess... we should be going?
Roxi – Yes, You can’t... fly, right?
Cypher – Um...no.
Roxi – Alright, just hold on.
Cypher – Sure. I’m sure given your super strength and flying abilities you should be able to do this without an issue.
Roxi – That’s the idea.
{Roxi takes Cypher around the waist, and lifts him up with her as she takes flight, carrying him with little trouble as he looks around the city from a birds eye view.}
Cypher – This must be amazing to look at every day.
Roxi – It’s not so bad, I suppose.
Cypher – What? I mean, you can look down at the entire city from here.
Roxi – Yes, I mean, I don’t ever get tired of it, it’s great, but sadly I get so busy sometimes I forget to really notice it.
Cypher – I guess that’s true. Big, important hero like yourself get caught up.
Roxi – It’s... it’s not that I’m too important, it’s just I have to focus on other things.
Cypher – Oh, no... I just meant... I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to be argumentative.
Roxi – It’s fine.
Cypher – I just... I’m curious is all. I really want to know how a true hero works.
Roxi – Well, that’s what training is for.
Cypher – Oh, yes, right.
Roxi – Okay, hang on.
{Roxi continues to fly, landing on the roof of a building and looking around to make sure the coast is clear, and then using her wrist communicator to call in.}
Roxi – You around Vision?
Vision – Of course.
Roxi – I've got a trainee with me for a little bit, so... try not to send us the end of the world, please?
Vision – You got it. Starting Patrol?
Roxi – Starting now.
{Roxi ends the call and motions for Cypher to join her.}
Cypher – Oh, coming.
Roxi – This is the south end of the city, this place is usually quiet. There has been some activity here, but it was years ago, and hasn’t popped up since. Not saying it won’t, but it’s been quiet.
Cypher – Wow... how long ago was it?
Roxi – Probably 8 years ago.
Cypher – Wow... what happened?
Roxi – Oh goodness, well, as you can see, there were some weird experiments going on over here. Human trafficking at times as well.
Cypher – Oh wow... must have been exciting.
Roxi – Exciting is not the word I’d use for it. It was difficult to track down, but once we found them we shut it down. There were experimenting with cloning. I’m sure you had to have read about this are part of the training.
{Cyphers nods excitedly.}
Cypher – Oh yes, it’s just we only sort of get the generalized version. I find that talking to those who were there gives a great perspective and adds the lore.
Roxi – I suppose yes.
Cypher – I’m sorry, I feel like I’m making you upset.
Roxi – No, you’re fine. You’re asking questions and that’s great. I really appreciate your enthusiasm. I really do. It’s just kind of hard sometimes to get really specific with certain issues.
Cypher – Oh right.
Roxi – Look, I don’t have all the answers to every little thing, But I do want to make sure that I get you in a position to succeed. It’s nothing against you or the questions or anything you want to know. It’s a matter of what pertinent and what isn’t.
Cypher – Oh... no... I... I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get us off track.
Roxi – You didn’t, but we need to move forward with the patrol.
Cypher – Right, right. I apologize.
Roxi – No need, let’s get going.
{Roxi ends up flying Cypher around all around to the certain points and pointing out the hot spots. Then, as she prepares to hit the next spot, she hears a familiar voice ring out.}
Voice – Hop to it gentlemen!
Cypher – Whoa...
Roxi – Oh great... come on.
{Roxi leads Cypher to wear the voice came from, and looks down from the roof of a nearby building. Roxi groans as she sees a man in a black top hate, wasitcoat with tails, wearing white gloves and looking at his pocket watch. He is overseeing a group of men haul boxes}
Cypher – Who in the world is that?
Roxi – Mr. Distinguished.
Cypher – I have never heard of him.
Roxi – Mostly small time. Not going to go into his history right this second because it’s complicated.
{Roxi turns and calls in to Vision.}
Roxi – Vision, it might time for a time warp again.
Vision – Wow, I haven’t heard that in a long time.
Roxi – It’s Mr. Distinguished. I don’t think we really need backup on this, but the trainee is going to sit this out.
Vision – Alright.
Roxi – Just be on standby.
Vision – You got it.
{Roxi returns and looks down again at the men taking boxes out, and then back at Cypher.}
Cypher – So, what’s the plan?
Roxi – I’m going to deal with this. You stay up here.
Cypher – I can be of assistance.
Roxi – It won’t take me long, just observe. If anything happens, just hit the distress button on your communicator. Don’t get involved.
Cypher – I’m sure you can handle it, but IF this gentleman is a threat, I’m sure if we work together...
Roxi – Listen, I know you’re eager to help and that’s great, but I need you to sit this one out.
Cypher – I...
Roxi – Please... I don’t want to turn this into me telling you what to do situation, but I don’t want you endangering yourself.
{Cypher nods, clearly disappointed, as Roxi turns and jumps off the roof, landing all cool in a superhero style fist on the ground landing before standing up.}
Mr. Distinguished – Lady Bedlam!
Roxi – Gentlemen, I know those things don’t belong to you, so I’m only going to ask once that you put them back before things get nasty.
Mr. Distinguished – Pish posh! A dirty vamp like yourself will not stop a shiek like me. You shall not reduce me to a ragamuffin, I assure you!
Roxi – What?
Mr. Distinguished – Have at her boys! Don’t be swayed, she only wishes to stop up from acquiring the dough!
{The men drop the boxes and advance towards Roxi, who looks around, then quickly up at Cypher who is watching.}
Roxi – Okay, don’t say I didn’t warn you!
{The men all charge and try and gang up on Roxi, but she is far too strong for any of them, giving her powers. She lightly tosses them all aside in a matter of seconds, immobilizing them with little to no effort.}
Roxi – Now, that’s enough of that.
{Mr. Distinguish slowly attempts to back away, putting on his glasses to see where to go, before Roxi rushes him, and pins him against a wall by his lapel.}
Roxi – Now, what in the world are you doing here? I sent you away a long time ago, and if you are trying anything stupid this time, you’ll go away longer.
Mr. Distinguished – Surely a tomato like yourself wouldn’t harm a man wearing cheaters! This is an outrage and you must unhand me at once.
Roxi – Did you just call me a tomato? I should punch you just for that! You want to – Gahh!
{Roxi is stunned, something that hit her like a ton of bricks, and electric shock sent up her back. A second jolt puts her on her knees groaning in pain. Behind her, a small child, also wearing a top hat and monocle, dressed similarly to Mr. Distinguished, carrying a cattle prod.}
Mr. Distinguished – Excellent work, Monocle Boy! This floozy is best to be seen at a petting party to my mind!
Monocle Boy – And how!
{Mr. Distinguished kneels down as Roxi slowly starts to get up, reaching down in an attempt to unmask her, but suddenly he is grabbed from behind by one of his guards.}
Guard – That's enough of that!
Monocle Boy – What are you doing?! Are you fried?!
Roxi – No, but I feel like it.
{Roxi slowly gets up and snatching the cattle prod away from Monocle Boy and then slugging Mr. Distinguished to put him down as well. Roxi then stares at the guard. She pulls out some zip ties as she cuffs up Monocle boy, who is struggling.}
Roxi – I told you not to get involved.
{The guard shape-shifts, revealing himself to be Cypher.}
Cypher – I saw what happened and I figured I could sneak in unnoticed.
Roxi – That's not the point. You didn’t do what I asked you to do. Look, I appreciate the help, I do. But you can’t just go jumping in without a plan like that. If there were other guards or helpers, then what? You aren’t ready to be doing things like that. Please, just... do what I ask next time, okay?
Cypher – You were in trouble. I needed to do something. They may have done worse! We caught them did we not!
Roxi – Yes, we did. Look, I’m not mad about catching the bad guys, in the end, this all worked out, but there’s nothing that says next time, or even anything after that during your training that it won’t go badly. The idea was for you to stay out of sight and let me handle it.
{Cypher frowns.}
Cypher – I just wanted to help.
{Roxi finished cuffing everyone with zip ties around the hands and ankles. She nods and calls into Vision.}
Roxi – We're clear here, you can send in the normal cavalry.
Vision – Got it.
Roxi - Let’s go.
{Roxi grabs Cypher and prepared to fly away to a safe distance before Mr. Distinguished wakes up.}
Mr.Distinguished - I’ll get you for this Lady Bedlam! You may have escaped, but I will be back! You haven’t seen the last of Mr. Distinguished and Monocle Boy!
Monocle Boy – And how!
Roxi – Do you have any idea what any of that means?
Cypher – It appears to be English, perhaps from the ‘20’s.
Roxi – Ah, that makes sense.
{Roxi and Cypher fly up to the roof, hearing the sirens coming from the distance.}
Roxi – Okay, Let me just say this now. Thank you. I didn’t see the little kid and it very well could have gotten ugly. I’m sorry if I went a little overprotective there, but you are my responsibility. If anything happens to you, I’m responsible. I have enough blood and bad things on my hands and I do not want to lose you. You are valuable as a person first and foremost, and as an asset to the Guild second.
Cypher – I... I understand. I was just trying to help, If that was wrong, then I won’t do it anymore.
Roxi – Wrong isn’t the word, it was way too risky, especially for a rookie.
Cypher – But, Ms. Bedlam, when you were a rookie, did you not make the same mistakes?
{Roxi sighs, knowing that Cypher was correct.}
Roxi – Yeah, I did. I rushed in head-first into a lot of dumb situations and I’m frankly lucky to be alive. And I learned from them. I made my best attempts not to re-create those situations in the future. So, in this instance, I suppose I can mark you down for some hands-on training.
Cypher – Well, it was a pleasure to work alongside the great Lady Bedlam, A true hero. I must say, you were incredible down there, you moved so fast and effortlessly. It was almost faster than the human eye!
Roxi – Yes, I am fast, but I also had a plan moving forward to draw them out. So, I do owe you one for saving my bacon there. That cattle prod packed a lot more power than I thought.
Cypher – It looked to be the highest quality from my view.
Roxi – Anyway, just... listen and keep your eyes open and don’t rush in next time. Not all that we are going to encounter are as bumbling as Mr. Distinguished was. In the future, the people we face will be far more organzied.
Cypher – Yes ma’am.
Roxi – Well, I think that’s enough excitement for one night, let’s get you back, just think about what I said.
{Roxi grabs onto Cypher and flies him back to his apartment as the scene fades.}
{Roxi returns home and slips in through the window, where she is alone. However, she makes enough noise for Keira to know she’s back and she comes upstairs and into the bedroom as Roxi is changing.}
Keira – How did it go?
Roxi – About as expected. Took a little bit of a shot, but I’m okay.
Keira – What happened?
Roxi – I was attacked by Mr.Distinguished.
Keira – And he... hit you?
Roxi – No, it was a cattle prod.
{Roxi checks out the wound in the mirror, seeing it begin to heal slowly.}
Roxi – But. The kid proved himself out there. Risky, but it paid off.
Keira – Well, at least it worked out.
Roxi – Yeah, but I’m getting hero worship vibes from him.
Keira – Uh oh, that makes 2 people now.
Roxi – Yeah, don’t remind me.
Keira – You going to be okay?
Roxi – Yeah... don’t worry. Just gotta get the reports in.
Keira – Okay.
{Keira departs as Roxi finishes changing, the whole time thinking about the parrlells between Cypher and Andrea, nodding to herself as she begins to work on the report as the scene fades one last time.}
"This world and its people are under my protection."
- Superman (Superman Confidential Vol 1 10)
Hello SCW.
Well, I will call what happened this past week, cathartic at best. I wouldn’t say I enjoyed what happened, but it was something that had to be done. Whatever Andrea Hernandez thinks about me, or about Crystal, or anyone else for that matter, she was the referee and she had a job to do and she obviously had no intention of doing it correctly. So, it had to be done otherwise we wouldn’t have gotten a winner. And while in terms of momentum I’m glad that Keira and I won, I take no pleasure in kicking Andrea in the face, but now, we can all breathe a little bit better.
However, I’m sure that it has only served to make Andrea even angrier at me, than she is now, which, at this point, I’m pretty much over it. I mean, look, I wish I could always save people in trouble or dealing with any kind of issue. I wish I could always be there, and I pride myself on doing that. But you know, I have come to realize that I just can’t be everywhere at once. And for that, yeah, I’m sorry. I wish I could. I wish that I didn’t let anyone down and I always came out on top. But I haven’t. I’ve failed many a times. I have always put far too much pressure on my own shoulders because I have always felt that is my responsibility. That is me, that is my faults, my warts so to speak. I have spent my entire life, looking out for other people. And for Andrea Hernandez, I failed.
And part of me wants to apologize for that. I wasn’t there when Andrea needed me the most. I let her down, and for that, she has sworn some of blood oath or something to curse me, and my name. Well, I mean, first she attempted to cash in on my name for some reason, and when that failed, she has now gone to the point of attacking me, and burning and destroying all her merchandise and childhood posters and whatnot, of me. On a level, I feel that. I get it, and I feel that responsibility every single day. It hurts to be looked at as some kind of phony or fraud because one time or another, you’ve slipped up. I pride myself of how much I can help, and in this moment, yes, I’m sorry I wasn’t there.
And on the other hand, communication is and always has been a two-way street. I’m not psychic, and I don’t know every single little thing that goes on in people’s lives. I’d probably be more in “mother-mode” if I did. And nobody wants that. I do the best I can do, but if I don’t know there’s a problem, Its rather difficult for me to try and fix it. Anyone in any kind of service business understands this. I can’t fix a problem if I don’t know what it is. I am saddened by the fact that Andrea had a parent pass away. I feel bad about that, and I understand that the grief one feels in that situation is tremendous. I’m not trying to blame Andrea for anything on this issue, but I will not sit here and be told because I didn’t jump to Andrea’s side and spend all the time I could, trying to console her that somehow, I am to blame for Andrea’s attitude change.
Loss effects all of us differently. We all deal with pain differently, and I know that nobody should have to suffer in silence. But it is my understanding that people did reach out to Andrea. And after all of that, it’s my fault, because I personally didn’t reach out to her. And to be fair, I probably should have, but again, I have to know what happening. I not the type of person who wants to involve myself in every little detail of everyone’s lives. That’s rude and nobody wants someone like that. I respect boundaries. And let’s just be honest about the whole thing, Andrea and I, were competitive rivals and friendly with each other. I respected her, she respected me. So, with how I treat people, I assumed we were on friendly terms. I never said anything bad about Andrea as a wrestler, she’s phenomenal, she a former Bombshell’s champion, you don’t get there by luck. I have tried, through the confines of our competitive format, tried to tell her and give her advice about her behavior and attitude towards everyone else, but it appears now to have fallen on deaf ears. I guess at this point, there’s no need to sit here and try and sugar coat anything or try to reason with Andrea, so maybe I just wasted my breath just now, but it’s important to me that we establish that I never had hatred for Andrea, and I would have at least reached out, if I had known, or if she had done so. It’s not like people in SCW don’t have my number and can’t call or send a text or a tweet or a DM, it’s not that hard. It just makes me believe more and more, that this is another, in a long line of excuses that Andrea is now using to justify how she goes about things.
We’re reached the point now where it’s no longer a one-off thing, we’re at the point now where it has become synonymous with Andrea herself”
Blame someone else.
Yes, it’s totally my fault that a loved one of hers passes away and very few reach out to her. I am to blame for the all misfortune that happened in Andrea’s life for the past six months or so. So is Crystal, so is Seleana, so is Keira, everyone else is to blame, but Andrea. This is the kind of behavior all of us in the SCW bombshell’s division have dealt with for the past what, 6-8 months? This is the kind of thing we all teach our children when they are young, the world doesn’t revolve around you, I’m sorry that apparently Andrea didn’t get a pony for her birthday or whatever the case is, but this idea that when you lose something, you blame everyone else, but when you win, you will expect praise is just ridiculous. This goes far, far beyond what happened recently. This has been brewing for many years. I’m not a psychiatrist or anything, but I am pretty good at reading people and understanding a situation. It wasn’t JUST the death that caused all this. Andrea was a human volcano and after all that happened, she exploded. She went off and vented all her frustrations on anyone and everyone in the area. If it wasn’t Crystal, it would have been me. And now that the Crystal avenue is closed because Crystal beat her in the ring, Andrea had switched to me, seeking some sort of redemption and vindication for her actions. That all of a sudden everything will be justified by attacking me. And sadly, we have come to a point now where that’s just not going to be the case.
I am a big believer in karma and it comes back around on people for what they do to others. Andrea has a whole lot to answer for. She was so hell bent of getting to me, that she cost me the Bombshell’s championship, and in reality, we could be fighting for that very championship right now if she didn’t have tunnel vision. But she has it, and here we are now. I don’t know what Andrea expects to get from this outside of personal satisfaction, but I guess when that doesn’t happen, that will be my fault too.
Well, yes, it totally will. It will be my fault when I beat her at Inception, and I suppose driver her further down this hole that she has dug for herself. I tried my best to get through to her, but at the end of the day, as the only saying goes, some people, you just can't reach, and they will not be swayed by any argument. So, I’m not arguing about how we got here anymore. That part has long since become minute in the grand scheme of things. If Andrea wants to blame me, fine. She should be looking in the mirror at herself if she really wants someone to blame, but again, when people become convinced of something, they will go through hell and high water to make sure their point is heard.
I’ve seen all the videos and heard all the trash talk and how Andrea is taking this whole thing about never meeting your heroes to an extreme measure. The compliment I paid her when she won the championship last year, obviously meant nothing and she never meant it when she said thank you. Her behavior is a clear indicator of that. So, I don’t need to try and smooth this over again, there is no point. I will not reach Andrea, and while part of me wishes I could, the sensible part of me knows that I’m not dealing with an adult at this point. Perhaps that’s my problem in this whole thing. I expected Andrea to be an adult, and I’m clearly not dealing with one.
The hero letting her down thing? While hurtful, isn’t a result of me not caring. It’s a result of me not knowing. And that falls back to Andrea. I would have gladly offered condolences and well wishes in her time of need. If she needed to talk to someone, I would have been there, despite all the vile things she’s done in the aftermath. It’s a matter of personal responsibility, and that seems to be foreign concept to Andrea. Or, at least, she has done her best to completely mutate and toxify the meaning. When you go to such lengths as to call it a rebirth or say this is the true you, you’ve lost the plot quite a bit.
The truth is her actions are not justified by what happened to her. Her actions are the by-product of a lack of responsibility. Nobody is blaming her for anything that she can’t control. I tried to part that kind of wisdom on her as well. But again, it fell on deaf ears, as Andrea justified her hatred for everything and everyone based on the idea that nobody helped her. Again, this is the kind of thing a 5-year-old would say when they get yelled at for behaving badly. If you don’t let me get away with this, you must not love me. I already thought so, so now everything after this, I am just proving the point. And everyone knows that’s not how life works when you’re adult.
And make no mistake, Andrea should be treated like an adult, she’s old enough to vote, work, and pay taxes. She’s just behaving like a child, and it’s very sad for someone like me to see when someone has so much potential, and so much ability, to throw it all away because a bad thing happened to them. It’s making me think that the fandom may have been for show.
You see, the people who cheer for me, the people who buy posters and write me letters and send me messages, they understand inner strength, they understand that there’s going to be problems, and hard times in our lives, I am living proof. I’m not perfect, but I have tried very hard to make people believed in themselves, just as they do me. That they see through me, that all things are possible if we apply ourselves, and we don’t let those times we don’t quite get the job done that we can learn to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and keep moving forward. At the end of the day, that’s the lesson, keep going, and do not give up. If Andrea truly was a fan of mine, she would have gotten this message, but she, was at a completely different level to me, than most of my fans. She saw me, could speak to me, every single week, in person, if something was bothering her, but she didn’t, and I chalk that up to what is, and will be for some times, her defining trait:
Insecurity.
I get it, we all have them. But when you allow them to control you, you end up like Andrea, and she is what she is now. An insecure little girl, basically throwing a temper tantrum and acting like I owe her something because I wasn’t aware of an issue. This is about her coming to terms with what she has done, and how what she has done, effected how it all played out. Andrea has no one to blame for her problems but herself. I’m not downplaying death by any means, but this goes beyond that. At the end of the day, you reap what you sow, and this is a prime example of that and Andrea just can’t handle the truth, so it has become an externalized hatred towards me. Because she looked up to me, because she was a fan.
I take a great amount of pride in the fans I have. I have never taken any of them for granted. Anyone who buys anything with my picture or name on it, I greatly appreciate. Any time anyone has bought a ticket to see me, traveled from all over the world, hundreds if not thousands of miles just to see me, just to hold up a sign, that is an amazing feeling. Save for one time where I walked away from them for the wrong reasons, and they took me back, when I saw what I had become, and I swore I would never lose them again. My fans are amazing and to go somewhere and see people you don’t know cheering for you and hoping you do well is something I cherish. Andrea was one of those people, and you know what? I appreciate that. I really did. But to see what she has become and how she refuses to accept responsibility and lash out at me, and everyone else, it’s an insult to the people who cheer me.
And do you want to know what the saddest part about this is? The fact that Andrea Hernandez, as talented as she is, is making THIS her legacy. THIS is what Andrea’s story will be. She has managed to become a bit player in her own story. The story of Andrea Hernandez should not be all about how Roxi Johnson let her down, or how Crystal was never her friend. We are making the story of Andrea Hernandez. Why is this more about what other people have done, versus what Andrea hasn’t? I mean, that’s basic writing, if your main character isn’t the most interesting, maybe the story shouldn’t be about them. Maybe we need a new main character.
I don’t need it to be me. My story is long enough as it is. But Andrea has chosen to make this about me, and what I did or did not do with her. Instead of the story of how Andrea reached deep down and mustered a great deal of courage and came back stronger from a family death, it’s about how everyone failed her.
This story, is just not going to work.
I tried to make Andrea stronger before all this happened. I really did. So, at Inception, I’m going to simply going to continue the lesson that started last week. In two weeks, Andrea will understand what I’ve been trying to do the entire time and with any luck, maybe a punch or a kick in the face will knock some sense into her. I get to be the hero once again, because I get to beat up Andrea Hernadez, I guess that’s how this is working. But at this stage, I get to be a little selfish.
I’m not only going to beat her, for everyone who dislikes her, I’m going to beat her, for me.
But we’re just getting started with this. It’s a lesson in tough love and how to really be a hero.
{We open on a rooftop, with Roxi sitting with her feet dangling over the edge, and then right to her right, talking incessantly, is Cypher still more starstruck about who he is working with.}
Cypher – And then what happened?
Roxi – I... punched him in the face.
Cypher – Oh. Man, that was a great story. You really have a lot adventures to share.
Roxi – Yeah, I suppose. I have done a lot.
Cypher – Have you ever thought of writing a book?
Roxi – I... I have but really, there’s a lot to do.
Cypher – Oh, yes, I see well, I mean, one has to be alert for the dangers of what could be lurking around every corner.
Roxi – I mean, it’s not that bad around here. I like to think Kat and I have made a difference.
Cypher – Oh that’s right, how did you two become partners?
Roxi – Well... I trained her.
Cypher – Oh, wow, so then... by that logic, and since she is so talented at what she does, then I know I can succeed.
Roxi – Well yes, sure you can. You just need some more training and to pass your evaluation. Then I’m sure you will be assigned to somewhere where you can be an asset.
Cypher – But, I believe I am an asset to you and this area.
Roxi – I mean, yes. But that’s not up to me. That’s up to the people in charge and sadly I’m not one of those people.
Cypher – Yes, I know. I was just saying, that perhaps we could be great partners in the future.
Roxi – I... Yes, perhaps.
Cypher – I am sensing from your hesitation that you are not eager to be partners.
Roxi – Because the truth is, I already have a partner. Kat is my partner, she’s out with me most nights.
Cypher – She has not been in this area for some time according to all the logs.
Roxi – She’s been on assignment.
Cypher – I thought that no one should go into a situation without a partner? Is that the guidelines?
Roxi – Yes. It is.
Cypher – Then aren’t we breaking the guidelines.
Roxi – Well, her assignment isn’t one of action, and neither is ours for the most part.
Cypher – So we broke the guildlines last time?
Roxi – More or less yes, but it was an extenuating circumstance.
Cypher – Oh, I see.
{Roxi tries to stop Cypher, to end this line of questioning, not liking where it’s going.}
Roxi – Look, we may not have always played by the rules to the letter, I get that. But the important thing is we get the job done. I understand your concern, and the questions and points are valid. Sometimes, it’s necessary to freelance in order get things gone in a way that works.
Cypher – I see. I’m just curious is all.
Roxi – I understand and appreciate it.
Cypher – I still do not quite understand why you objected so much to my assistance previously then.
{Roxi sighs.}
Roxi – Because you are my responsibility. You are in training, and it wouldn’t be good for anyone, you, the guild, or myself if you got hurt when you’re supposed to be an observer and following instructions.
Cypher – But you just spoke about the guidelines...
Roxi – You, as a person, are far more valuable to the guild, and myself. You are new, and you will be doung this job longer than I will if all goes well. I just wanted to start you on the right foot.
Cypher – But it seems it was the wrong foot.
Roxi – That’s possible, yes.
Cypher – It’s just... a lot of this doesn’t seem to make a lot of sense. Almost like the rules apply to everyone but you.
Roxi – That’s not what my point is, Cypher, of course the rules apply to me.
Cypher – But you have been frequently known to break them. You were suspended for not following the rules, weren’t you?
Roxi – Yes, I was. And since then, I learned what I needed to do. Yes, the rules apply to me. They always have. Have I skirted around the rules at times? Yes. I will not deny that. I will also never deny that I did things that were wrong in my younger days as a hero. And I learned from them.
Cypher – I see.
Roxi – I’m just an example of how you learn to be a hero.
Cypher – I thought the goal was to catch the bad guys? Stop the evil doers?
Roxi – Yes, it is. But as you’re seeing and learning now, the goal, and how we get there, and the guidelines, don’t always match up, but it’s still something that should be followed.
Cypher – And ignored if not applicable.
Roxi – Ignored is a strong word, but basically in certain circumstances, when there are no other choices, and important matters are on the line... we have to do what we have to do.
Cypher – I see. Do you give the instruction like this to everyone you’ve trained?
Roxi – No, not really. This almost sounds like a cross-examination.
{Cypher stops and lowers his head.}
Cypher – I am sorry. I shouldn’t be asking so many questions.
Roxi – It’s okay to ask questions, but it just seems like you want to hear specific answers, and they may clash with what you’ve been taught. Here, I’ll give you an example. You were trained in demolitions, at least throwing grenade in training, correct?
Cypher – Yes, we... were subject to that.
Roxi – You were taught the textbook way to throw a grenade, right?
Cypher – Yes, we were.
Roxi – And if we were in a situation where we had to use a grenade, you would throw it the way you were taught, right?
Cypher – Yes.
Roxi – But what if there are people shooting at you, what if there’s wind? What if there’s no time to line up that throw accurately the way you would in the training? You would still throw it, right?
Cypher – Yes.
Roxi – But it wouldn’t be textbook. Would that matter to you?
Cypher – No in that instance no. There are too many variables in the given scenario.
Roxi – Exactly. Each situation is different. If we always followed the book, or the guidelines, I think things wouldn’t be as successful.
Cypher – I suppose that is true.
Roxi – Sometimes, it doesn’t matter if the job gets done exactly 100% like the book says it should. The results are trying to do the best given your situation is what we shoot for. I would love to be able to tell you that the way you trained and every scenario you will come across will play out exact. But the truth is, it never has, and never will. Maybe, in 95 out of 100 shots of doing the same thing, things will be exactly like a book says. That’s the point here.
Cypher – I understand now.
Roxi – Good. I hope I’ve cleared that up. Now, are you ready to go on patrol?
Cypher – Yes. I am.
Roxi – Alright, hold on.
{Roxi grabs Cypher around the waist and lifts him with her, scanning and calling in her patrol as the scene fades.}
{Afterward, Roxi returns home to relax a bit. She sits down on the bed and removes her costume as Keira stands in the doorway.}
Keira – Rawr.
Roxi – Knock it off.
Keira – What? I can’t oogle my own wife?
Roxi – You’ve seen my change hundreds of times.
Keira – And it’s just as sexy now as it was then.
Roxi – I guess I should be appreciative of that.
{Keira shrugs.}
Keira – So, how’d it go?
Roxi – He’s learning but, he’s beginning to bog himself down in the minute details. I really hope his partner can put up with that in his early stages.
Keira – Oh? He’s worse than I was?
Roxi – Not even close. It was one thing with you and trying to accomplish the missions and trying to do a lot more than you needed to. It’s quite another thing that he’s doing questioning things we do, vs how the training went.
Keira – Oh, he’s one of those people.
Roxi – I just think his expectations aren’t meeting the reality of the situation. He’s going to be in a lot of trouble, and possibly get people in trouble if he doesn’t learn to adapt to the scenarios.
Keira – So... he’s a Karen? Like, a male Karen?
Roxi – I wish you would stop with the Karen business.
Keira – Roxi, he’s whining and complaining about everything. That’s a Karen. Or it is Kevin? Yeah, it’s a Kevin. Man, you get to deal with a lot of those nowadays.
Roxi – That’s not funny. He’s not like that, he’s just confused. I just fear he will not be able to be an asset if he keeps going the way he’s going. There’s just too much at stake in this job to get bogged down in the minor details.
Keira – Ain’t that the truth. Well, you know, just write your report and express your concerns, I guess.
Roxi – Does that make me a Karen?
Keira – No. Not at all. Okay, yeah, kinda.
Roxi – I’ll take it.
{Roxi finishes changes and starts writing the second report expressing her concerns, but is interrupted by her wrist communicator.}
Roxi – Vision?
Vision – So, why is your trainee calling us requesting to meet up with you?
Roxi – He is? I didn’t know, he never said anything. Actually he was rather quiet once we started the patrol.
Vision – He is requesting you meet him to discuss the training.
Roxi – Alright. Wait, Vision... did he say why?
Vision – No. Why?
Roxi – My report will be sent in later, but I think he’s feeling like I’m not a good trainer because well.. I mean... you know how I was, and... maybe he has a point.
Vision – Rox, you’re one of the best people we have. You and Keira. You’ve saved a lot of people and prevented a lot of issues from becoming bigger ones. So if he’s having the issues, maybe it’s him. I know in your early days there was a carefreeness that you latched on to, and yes, you put yourself in a lot of very crazy situations, but you have always had your heart in the right place.
Roxi – Thanks Vision, I guess I’ll go see what he wants.
Vision – Roger. Keep in touch.
Roxi – I will.
{Roxi ends the call, and suits herself up again and heads out again, as the scene fades.}
{Roxi appears on the rooftop again, in her gear, where Cypher sat cross-legged and looked at her.}
Roxi – Are you okay? Is everything alright?
Cypher – No.
Roxi – What’s wrong?
Cypher – There are too many problems with your answers.
Roxi – Excuse me?
Cypher – I have reviewed everything that has been reported on you. You do not practice what you preach. You have taught one way and acted another.
Roxi – Okay, Cypher, this really isn’t the best time to be discussing this.
Cypher – No? It is because it is not convenient for you?
Roxi – It has nothing to do with that. Our training time is over. Look, if you’re going to request someone else to take over for me. That’s fine. There are rules for that.
Cypher – Yes, there are. However, in your speech about specific scenarios and hypotheticals, this is indeed a different situation. I do not wish to be trained by you given all you have lied about.
Roxi – Lied? I didn’t lie to you.
Cypher – You are teaching one thing and doing another. This do as I say, and not as I do mentality is not acceptable by Guild policy.
Roxi – You’re taking this far too literally. I think you just need to calm down and think this through, if you’re upset, we can talk about it.
Cypher – No. There is no talking and no need to report you for the violations you’ve committed.
Roxi – What are you talking about?
Cypher – You are a clear danger and unfit for your hero duties.
Roxi – What? Okay, you are clearly not thinking straight.
{Cypher stands up, revealing a pistol in both hands.}
Cypher – You must be stopped so you do not corrupt future generations with your teachings.
Roxi – Okay... just calm down.
Cypher – You must be terminated.
{Cypher begins firing his pistols, Roxi using her super speed to dodge out of the way and see the bullets are smashing through the windows and doors of nearby buildings.}
Roxi – Piercing ammo? In a handgun?
{Roxi takes over, but no more shots are fired. Roxi peers out and Cypher is gone. Roxi runs over where Cypher was, and sees he is headed down the fire escape, and heading into the streets.}
Roxi – Dammit.
{Roxi gives chase and soon she ends up in a crowd of people.}
Roxi – Great, he could be anybody...
{Roxi looks, trying to figure out which the people meandering in the streets could be Cypher. They walk in both directions, curiously looking at the costume clad Roxi as she looks around trying to figure out what the best strategy is.}
Roxi – Okay... focus...
{Roxi starts trying to sense where Cypher is. She hones in and begins to feel his energy, a level above most normal peole and begins to follow. She ends up at a dead end in an alley, looking up, and figuring Cypher jumped over, but instead, she hears the gun cock behind her.}
Cypher – I figured you would use that energy sense you have. Now you’ve walked into a trap.
Roxi – I think you are forgetting one thing, Cypher.
Cypher – Oh? And what’s that.
{Roxi uses her teleportation to get behind Cypher and slap the gun out of his hand and toss him into a wall. She kneels on his arm and back, pressing her weigh down.}
Roxi – This is not an exact scenario.
{Roxi calls in to Vision.}
Roxi – Vision, code 18. We’ve got a trainee unfit for duty. Requesting transfer.
Vision – On it.
{Roxi continues to hold Cypher down as the scene fades.}
“When you put on the suit, you become larger than life. You become a symbol. And then you don't have a choice. You have to live up to what you've made yourself into. The mask hides your fear. No one knows what you're thinking. And it's double edged. It frightens your enemies and feeds your strength. But no suit-- no mask-- can ever hide you from yourself”
Batman (Batman Vol 1 455)
Hello once again, SCW.
As more and more time passes, I look back at my career and I am proud of it. I was able to make the most of my time in wrestling, but obviously there’s still a lot more that I have left to do, and yes, there’s more I could have done. It’s not so much about accomplishments as it is, leaving a legacy, and really, leaving things better than you found them. I’d like to think that I’ve done my part so far, but as with anything, there are going to be disagreements on that. Things like that are subjective and that’s okay. I can be confident and happy in all I’ve done. Sure, I have a few regrets, but as much as I would like, I can change the past.
But I have always tried to let people see that there is always hope. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel and there should always be a belief that you can do something. Like Audrey Hepburn is quoted as saying “Nothing is impossible. The word itself says “I’m possible” I like to think that that quote is accurate. Because you can achieve anything if you try, there’s no doubt in my mind.
If they ever write a book around my life, I think it would be a good read, I’ve had some crazy things happen to me, both good and bad. I’ve had a very fortunate life to be in the position I’m in and I think that each and every day is a day to make progress. Towards what? You decide. But you can make progress.
If that makes me a positive role model for kids and little girls, I’m happy. I’ve always been happy to have the fans that I have all over the world. I have been truly lucky in that regard. To have people, complete strangers, be people who look up to you, who just want to touch you or have their picture taken with you is an amazing feeling. I feel that on a different level to make that kind of connection. It’s crazy to even think about for me.
But of course, Andrea Hernandez, who is not the first, nor will she be the last, is going to tell you that I have wronged her, and that I’m not the person who I tell you all I am. That I am, some kind of phony or fraud. It’s always been the words of those who don’t like or enjoy what I do. I can’t always be this happy or positive or upbeat. I can’t always have a smile on my face, because it’s just not normal. When you look at life and how terrible it is and all that, and yet, I have a smile on my face. Why? Because life, has been good to me. I have had an amazing life. And I understand that there are a lot of people in this world, who don’t have that, so when they have the ability to see me or listen to me, my hope is that just for those brief moments that we are together, that you are there with me, no matter what I’m doing. Whether it’s playing drums, wrestling, reading, or just signing autographs or something like that. If you are taken out of your own problems for just that little bit of time... my job is done.
But maybe, some people want more out of that, things I can’t always provide, and then when it doesn’t happen for them, they become bitter and angry. I understand that I turn some people off, and some people can’t stand me. They can’t stand my twitter posts, they have to make fun of it, some people don’t like my wrestling and tell me I’m not good enough. Some people believe I have let me down on such a grand scale that they hate me.
Well, the term “some people” is just sugar coating it, I suppose. Andrea Hernadez is that person. She has told you that I am the reason she is the way she is. And you know what? That’s okay. Andrea is more than within her right to feel how she feels, her problem is, and always has been, she is more willing to blame other people, and let them dictate how she responds than to simply look herself in the mirror and say “This happened, but I need to live my life.” You see, there comes a point when you have to grow up in life, mentally, as well as physically. You can’t go around with assuming control of your life, because there’s plenty of other people who will do it for you. And when you can blame other people for all of your problems, when you can blame everyone but yourself, it’s easy. That’s easy and cheap. And those who I have maintained a relationship with, are mentally stronger than that.
Maybe it was Andrea’s upbringing, maybe it was an overreliance on other people, I don’t know. What I do know is that Andrea has this burning, and seething hatred for me, based on one incident. I did not reach out to her, when a loved one died. And because of that, and that alone Andrea has sworn to everyone who will listen that I have ruined her life. That she regrets ever being a fan of mine and has sought now to hurt, and make people I care about suffer, to satisfy her quest for revenge or vindication. That in the end of all this, if Andrea beats me at Inception, that everything she’s done has been justified. That’s I’m not the person I claim to be because she exposed something. The truth of the matter is that this a now a personal issue for me, just as much as her. I’m growing very tired of people slandering me for the things that happen in their life. I have never stood in front of you, or anyone and guaranteed that anything would be 100% the best thing ever. You will go through hard times, we all do. Life will test you, it does not play around with those or control them. What happens to you afterward, and how you react, is what you can control. And what Andrea Hernandez chose to do, was the easy route.
Forget the fact that after she won the triple threat match, when no one expected her to, I reached out and say hey, congratulations, you were better that day and you deserve to win. You are more than worthy to carry that championship, and I hope you do it with pride. And I meant that. I will give credit where it is due. But let’s just forget that. Forget speaking with her numerous times and having positive interactions. Forget all of that. This one incident where I was expected to do something and I didn’t mean I’m just the worse type of person because I don’t always win at the end. Forget that that’s life, I wanna see this through Andrea’s eyes. How does one deal with the death of a loved one? Well, first you grieve, and then you turn around and you blame everyone else, and see blame for you when it’s not there. It’s eerily similar to what some people believe in this day and age.
It’s just like anyone who believes in conspiracies you see. When you start to believe it, you start to see it everywhere. More and more things that were fine, suddenly don’t make sense. You start to not believe everything you hear, and everything you see, because you want something so bad, you try and will it into existence. You will begin to see everything you want to see, and believing what you want to be true, rather than what is true. That’s Andrea right now. She has made it a fact in her mind, that I let her down, and so what everyone else who doesn’t like me says, must be true. It must be. I have to be lying about this, because this one time, I didn’t do something. So then everything else I’ve said must be a lie, it must be part of the scam, the elaborate plan I’ve been hatching for so long to gain family and friends and then just... I don’t know what? Let them down individually by... forgetting a birthday or something? I’m not sure what the end of goal of my ultimate ruse is. Is it just to have a lot of friends and fans to disappoint? Again, I just want to know how Andrea sees me.
Perhaps, I’m just an opportunity to Andrea. Perhaps this match means so much to her that she has dug into the archives to find anything I’ve ever failed at to prove her point. I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve lost a lot. I’ve failed many times, I’ve been knocked down and been left for dead in the ring more times than I can count. But you want to know something? That has never stopped me from trying. I have made it a point never to step foot in the ring and not give it my all, no matter what was happening or how I felt. I made a point that no matter what, I got up, dusted myself off, and continued to march forward towards progress. And progress can be anything. Whether it’s a championship, a shot at a championship, or just simply becoming better. I have tried my best to make the most of every chance I get out there, because I know that the time I have to walk through that curtain is limited at best. So I’m more than willing to let the world see my scars and warts from trying to do my best and coming up short. So Andrea can that all she wants, but if I’m just the worst person, what’s the difference in beating me? It doesn’t prove anything and Andrea is just another person who beat me. I’ve done almost everything I’ve wanted to do in wrestling, I’m already in the SCW Hall of Fame, and I’m not going in as a singles talent again. Though that would be cool. I’ve been there and done that. So if Andrea is looking for recognition, she may get it. Heck, I’ve tried to tell Andrea that she’s talented enough to do everything she wants to, and I’ve even tried to tell her the one thing she doesn’t want to hear more than anything in the world.
She is her own worst enemy.
It is a trait she shares with someone else I know and that being Crystal. I’m sure it doesn’t make Andrea happy to hear that, but it’s the truth. It’s kind of a thing that I do, I tell the truth, and the truth is, if Andrea stopped blaming other people for all the bad things in life and took her own life in her own hands and made the changes she needed to make, she wouldn’t be wallowing in this self-pity and outward hatred of the world. If she just saw things through some more adjusted eyes, she’d realize that while losing a loved one is incredibly difficult, would that person you lost, expect you to spend the rest of your life that you have, one that is so precious, living with that grief for a long period of time? It’s okay to miss people, it’s okay to hurt from losing them, but at some point, that process becomes counterproductive. What’s happens the next time Andrea has something like this happen? Will she become even MORE anti-social; will she just blame me again for it? I’m not sure, but judging soley by this incident, it’s going to become a problem for everybody.
I offered the advice a long time ago for Andrea to take some responsibility in her life, by stop telling everyone how terrible it is to be the bridesmaid and never the bride, then she became the bride, and still rambled on and on about unfair life was that it took so long and then that turned into bragging about it. It’s a clear symptom of pure narcissism. When you accomplish something, or are a part of something YOU did it. but then, when you don’t get something done, or something stops you, it’s someone else’s fault, and not your own. It’s a sad that this type of behavior has become Andrea’s main personality trait, because now we have to think about how long it’s going to be before she actually does something positive with it. When will she look at herself in the mirror and understand that she has more power than she thinks she has?
Until that happens, until that become who Andrea is, sadly, we’re going to have this Andrea. So, you know what? While I’m not going to give up on actually mending things, despite all that she’s said and done, this Sunday is just the beginning of the healing process, and anyone who has gone through the 5 stages of grief knows that it’s a long road. I don’t believe that when I beat her at Inception it will solve anything at all. In fact, it will most likely make things worse and she will not want my help anymore, but I am determined to try. I will not sit by and watch someone throw everything away because of anger. No, this match is about the beginning of a healing process. It’s going to be difficult, but at the end of the day, I firmly believe that Andrea with thank me for it. I know she’s hearing that now, and rolling her eyes and maybe even laughing at me, but I will try. She may be thinking that I’m just lying to her again, or whatever, or that this is just another trick, but it’s not. Or maybe if I didn’t help when she wanted me to, that I will never help her again.
And this match, is going to be me, helping her. I’m going to help her regain what she felt she lost. She can tell you that she feels like she’s got a weight off her shoulders, but I can hear it in her voice that while she WANTS to believe it, she still has no convinced herself. It just goes back to all those insecurities. The truth is, is that Andrea is still that little girl trapped inside her adult body. The one that had my posters and the one that idolized me.
But then again, I am a false idol, as she would have you believe. I have always been me, and I always will be me. I do not go out of my way to actively hate anyone, I encourage and try to uplift, that is my nature. I know I sound like a broken record, but the idea is just crazy to me that people still want to see this seedy underbelly that I supposedly have, and then when I do say things that may be a bit harsh, but truthful, all of a sudden I am the bad guy. All of a sudden I am just the worst and everything negative said about me is correct. I always looks to one of my favorite superheroes, Superman, in this instance. Superman can save anyone at any given time, but the fact is, he cannot save EVERYONE. That's the problem. Even with all the power he has, he cannot be everywhere at once he cannot solve every problem. If that's the impression I give off, them I am sorry, because the truth is, if Superman can't do it. Neither can I. I try, goodness knows I try, but I can't. I lose, I forget things I fail. And I would never tell anyone that anything that I do is easy, because while it may be for me, it may not be for everyone else. Heroes are not perfect. I never claimed to be, and I've certainly shown it from time to time.
The old saying is you should never meet your heroes, because they will let you down. If and when I let people down, I know it. It breaks my heart to do. And it hurts to see Andre burning things with my name on them that belonged to her, but I get it. This is how a child gets attention. Children do outbursts to make it known they are upset. So, Andrea has my full attention. No distractions now. It’s just me, and her. And it’s not because I disappointed her, it’s because she has disappointed herself and may even feel she’s let me down. Behavior wise? Yes, she has. I did expect better from her. As a wrestler? Absolutely not. I know it may not be a consolation, but facing Andrea is not going to be easy. I have all the respect in the world for her skills in the ring. It’s not going to be a walk in the park for me. But as much as she is determined to put me down in her own empty search for justification... I am just as determined to give her a strong dose of reality.
At Inception, I will beat Andrea Hernandez, and I expect there to be no tears, no feelings of being ripped off or feelings about it being unfair. This is what Andrea wanted, so this is what she gets. She gets me one on one. She gets to be in the ring with her hero, as it were, and I get to be in the ring with a fan, former or otherwise. And at the end, we can call it tough love, but it’s going to be me, coming out on top, and beginning our long journey to healing those wounds, and getting Andrea where she should be in life
I expect resistance to the worst degree, but in the end, this will be for Andrea’s own good. Even if she doesn’t believe it now.
So, I’m sorry Andrea. For what has happened, and what will happen. At Inception, I will stand across from you and you will get everything that’s coming to you.
Including a lot of payback.
See you then.