Direction
Time has been moving slowly. Happily. Austin has been able to let go of so much of that pain, anger and frustration. A few months ago he was angry all the time, from the moment he opened his eyes at 5am till the moment he closed them at night, he felt a burning anger in his stomach and chest that wouldn’t go away. It was there, day in and day out. It made him snap at people, he was short with them with every answer and every moment.
But then a few months ago something changed.
Alicia, his long term friend and someone he had worked with and trained with for years had come to him. Their shared experience of life and sadness bringing them closer together than either of them had previously thought of or wanted. The close friendship morphed and changed, turning it to something else. Some nights spent together, talking in the backyard under the stars, eating together and watching their kids play.
Those talks turned to affection and caring. Then the looks between them at the gym changing from simply a glance and a smile to longing stares and warm looks. And those around them have noticed. The whispers and questions being asked. Just what the hell is going on there?
The thing is, Austin wasn’t sure either.
After the talk with Alex he was even more confused. He could see it, the connection between them, But as Alex asked his questions and Austin answered as best he could, well he realised he had more questions of his own.
So now here they were, a night that began like others had. Alicia and Austin made dinner for their kids, Austins young ones going to bed earlier, Alicia's boys passed out watching a movie. And the two adults sat outside, looking up at the sky and talking with a few glasses of wine between them. It felt warm and natural, the happiness between them was clear and so natural. Like breathing. Austin smiled, something that is so easy for most people that he had to relearn how to do. He looked over at Alicia and shook his head with a heavy sigh.
She knew him well enough to know something was up. She reached over, squeezing his hand to get his attention. ”Dollar for your thoughts?”
Austin smirked and shook his head. ”Isn’t it a penny?”
”Inflation.”
Austin couldn’t help but chuckle while also rolling his eyes. ”Stealing my dad joke gimmick?” She shrugged and Austin sighed pushing to his feet as he looked up at the clear sky. ”Alex was talking to me a few weeks back. About us.” Alicia just listened silently. But her facial expression changed from happy go lucky to more flat and almost annoyed. Austin leaned against one of the pillars, folding his arms over his chest. ”It was nothing bad or uncomfortable. I just had no idea how to respond.”
”Did you need to?” She smiled again and shook her head as Austin looked over with a quizzical look. ”This is us, just you and me. I get that people have been staring at us, we aren’t exactly subtle. My sister asked me about us to, and if I didn’t know any better I’d say she’s getting ready to confront you.” Alicia shrugged and stood up moving across to Austin. ”Does it bother you? Not having all the answers?”
Austin shook his head and looked over at her. ”I suppose not, but it would be nice.”
Alicia laughed to herself and gave a small nod before getting closer to Austin, getting up on her tip toes giving him a light kiss on the lips before putting her hand and her head on Austins chest. ”I am whatever you want me to be Aus. Stay friends, agree that we’re in a relationship…it’s up to you….” There was silence between them, Austin took a deep breath and gave her a nod before kissing her again. This time there was more feeling and passion behind it. As Austin pulled back Alicia couldn’t help but smile. ”So….”
”So…”
They both laughed, Alicia turning and putting her head and shoulder against Austins chest as he wrapped an arm around her. His large frame dwarfing hers. Neither needed to say it, theory both know where this is going. They know what they are.Relationships are never easy. But living without happiness, keeping everyone at arms length and staying broken….
That isn’t for either of them.
Alicia took his hand, backing up to the door, kicking it open they moved through the house, quietly sneaking around to the stares as Rory and Ryan stayed on the coach, snoring as their movie played on the television. Austin looked in on Marcus and Mia as they both slept soundly in their rooms. Alicia and Austin stopped at the bedroom door, Alicia opened it and backed into the room, pulling Austin with her.
King
”Being a king isn’t worth a damn..”
Austin couldn’t help but chuckle, his hair flowing down over his eyes as he lets out a deep, controlled exhale. His knees pulled up to his chest.
”There’s so many kings in this business that the term and name has lost all meaning. There was a time when calling yourself a king in professional wrestling was something to be earned and revered, now there’s so many that game of thrones thinks we’re overdoing it. But this one, atleast has a time limit. One show. One show that you get handed control over. It’s a fun concept, it really is. The whole idea of booking yourself or a friend in any match you choose. A championship opportunity. Or an act of revenge. The possibilities are endless. And what would I do?”
“Truth is, I don’t know.”
“Part of me would select a certain individual for a trial by fire. Or give a deserved title shot to a person near and dear to my heart. Then there’as another side of me, one that believes I would use it to serve my own glory. To get an opportunity at the SCW world title, or maybe, the Roulette title as a way to sew the seeds of chaos and anarchy that I enjoy so much.”
“But that’s what I mean, I honestly don’t know what I would do.”
“This entire concept is not without its flaws. I look at the others in this match and question what they would do. The dark holke of stupidity that certain individuals would step into with their own choices. While my choices are up in the air I can honestly say that they wouldn’t be overtly moronic. I can’t say that about others. But this match has a chance to revitalise a career, or make a persons life in one moment and one chance. That is the nature of the King for a day match and to win it, all you have to do it climb a ladder and retrieve it. To grasp it.”
He slowly closes his fist with a small smile before exhaling and continuing.
”Jack Washington, Alexander Raven, Miles Kasey. Three men who I have history with in some form or another. Admittedly Jacks history is more intertwined with Alex than me. But I was there Jck, I was there when you and Alex first tussled. I was there when I saw your amazing ability to get under his skin. The way your words twisted him and made him snap. It was impressive to see.”
“You made a veteran of this business, someone who has been playing mind games with others for twenty years snap. And what a career you have had. You came into this company as a smiling, smirking, arrogant little upstart. A little shit that we all loved to hate.”
“But, in three years you’ve become something…different.”
“You are a two time world champion, a two time internet champion, beating Alex Jones and Kris Ryans for the former and Ken Davison and Alexander Raven for the latter. Like me the only singles championship you are yet to hold is the roulette title. But, while your contemporaries and those you face have been veterans or become veterans you yourself are still viewed as the young upstart.”
“An unfair statement maybe…but one that holds true when you look at how people talk about you or view you. And three years in to your SCW career it’s somewhat maddening isn’t it? To have grown so much, as you have, to have won so much, as you have. And still be viewed in that way. Well, make no mistaker Jack, I see the truth. I see what you are, I see what you’re capable of. And I’m not going to make the mistake of underestimating you…”
Answered
It was a new day.
Yes it is.
The sun was shining, the birds were chirping. The morning was a mix of laughter and hard work. Austin had walked in, helped set up the different stations, he talked and laughed with those at Wolfslair. He laughed with Alex Jones and Lachlan Kane, he even gave a respectful nod in Miles Kasey and Finn Whelans direction. He even helped Aiden Reynolds, the one he usually referred to as “that dumb Australian dickhead.”
Everyone noticed a certain, skip in his step. A change in Austins demeanor. He still wasn’t the laughing, smiling, happy go lucky Austin of days past. He was still weathered and hardened by his experiences. And maybe that was the point.
Everyone wanted the old Austin back. The one before losing his mother, his father and his wife.
The one who was happy to be there.
The long hair, the beard, the bouncing personality with jovial jokes and lighythearted comments and conversations. But, that Austin was gone. Dead and buried. Thing is, the Austin of the last few years also needed to go. The angry, dark, pained Austin filled with disdain and hatred for humanity and a depression that seemed to crush his heart. The one that covered his body in tattoos to map out that pain, the one who cut his hair short and shaved. That Austin needed to go and disappear.
What was left now? A combination. An amalgamation. A metamorphosis.
We can’t turn back time, but we can learn from it. And that is what Austin was doing. He sat down on the concrete steps outside. His container of food in his hand. Steamed broccoli, grilled chicken and sauce. All the iron and protein a growing boy needs. In high doses. Alicia sat next to him, a similar container with the same mixture in it, she shuffled a few pieces in her mouth and smiled, they laughed, she leaned over and put her chin on his shoulder.
He chuckled and gave her a nod as Alicia turned and looked up, she gave a nod and pushed off the steps moving back inside the gym. Alex stood there, his eyebrow raised, his hair tied back except for a few errant strands down the side of his face. He was still in phenomenal shape. Almost as if he was in a constant state of readiness.
”Well, you two seem…”
”Close?”
Alex laughed and sat down next to Austin, his feet on the step directly under him as he let his arms rest on his knees and his hands clasp together. ”I was going to say happy…” Alex laughed again and Austin gave a slow nod. ”So, you got your answers? You know where it’s going and where you stand? And you thought about what I said?”
Austin growled and put his large plastic container down, now empty and finished. Austin wiped his mouth, cleared his throat and turned to Alex with a small smirk. ”Yes and no…” Alex tilted his head, his eyebrow raising again, asking a question that he didn’t need to verbalize. ”I know what she wants, she knows what I want. How we get there, what we do there? Well I don’t know.”
”And you’tre both alright with that?”
Austin took a deep breath in and stared out toward the street. The day was calming, the city sounded quieter than normal. ”Yeah, yeah I am. And she is too. But, to answer anyones questions, yes Alicia and I are together and yes we’re happy. And truth be told Alex…that’s all that matters…and it’s what we both deserve….after everything.”
He trailed off and smiled. Alex said nothing. Instead he stood up and gave Austin a small tap on the shoulder. This wasn’t the old Austin, or the one that had infected the place the last few years. This was a new Austin, one who had been harened by life and his past experiences. But also one that remembered how to smile…and enjoy life.
The raven and the swallow.
”It seems destined that you and I will fight forever Alexander.”
Austin sneered, his growing hair slicked back now away from his face with a five o clock shadow on his face. His bright blue eyes looking almost a shade of violet as he turned his head and moved with it.
”I have said it many, many times. I don’t like you. I don’t like anything about you. I don’t like your face, your voice, your attitude. The fact you try to make everything some kind of debate or physiological evaluation. I don’t like that you keep trying to sound smarter than you are while freely admitting ninety percent of what you say is nonsensical jibber jabber. You are an infected boil on the ass of SCW. And as a person you are the literal definition of crocs footwear…”
“However, you're not without your merits. Much l;ike crocs.”
“I do respect what you are capable on in the ring. You are someone who can take beating after beating after beating and somehow, someway still come back for more. I’ve seen it. I’ve watched it and I have been impressed by it. You are a former roulette champion and internet champion, having respectable runs with those titles and even beating me.”
“Yes Alexander, unlike others I have no problem admitting my loses and trying to grow from them.
“Don’t get it twisted. I was impressed with your wins and your accomplishments. You beat Finn Whelan, no easy task. Despite the fact Finn has wrestler ADD and loses focus in about five seconds. But if you know anything about Finns personal like you’d understand why the poor guy has no idea which way is up and why he had to leave. But, you still beat him, you still wernt on a great run with the roulette title and still parlayed that into an internet title run.”
He pauses and laughs, looking down at his black and red wolfslair t shirt.
”It just occurred to me that you should be thanking us Alexander. Thanking Wolfslair. Because we have been there at all your big moments. You won the Roulette title from Finn Whelan, a man intertwined with the gym, you lost it to Miles Kasey, one of Wolfslairs promising professionals who I have been trying to take under my wing. But it was in a match that was incredibly hard fought and well received and earned your respect”
“You beat me, in a match that some would say was your crowning moment in the sun. Beating a destructive force and former world champion is a feather in your cap. And hell, even your internet title win was against Lachlan Kane, another wolfslair member.”
“You owe more to the gym than some of it’s members Alexander.”
“But I can’t help but wonder, someone like you. Someone who is so intertwined in ideals that make no sense and inside his own mind and up his own ass, what will you do if you become king for a day? What kind of random stupidity and assholary will you book? That is a future that I don’t want to see and would purely be the darkest timeline.”
Austin shakes his head, moving around and reaching down to pick up a photo frame. Inside it, a picture of the key members of wolfslair. On one side is Austin, towering above move, but crouches down to the other side, putting up the two fingers, an eye closed and his tongue out, a young Miles Kasey.
”This next one. Well. This is hard. Because I want to seer you succeed Miles. I do. While Jack has proved himself time and time again and Raven is a nonsensical moron, he has still had success. While your lone moment of clarity and lone moment of glory was against him. Since then you have been nothing but my bitch. And all I have wanted through all of this. From the moment I attacked Carter to the moment where I beat you last was for you to step up and show your worth.”
“But each time you let me down and you failed Miles. And now as we head into the King for a day match and as I look at someone like Jack Washington it finally hit me. Jack is everything you are not and everything you should have been. But what you were never mentally strong enough to be.”
“He is ready to go that extra mile, to destroy those in front of him verbally and physically. To be a champion.”
“But you? You’re content with just being here. Content with playing the clown with Carter and not focusing on your career. Content with living under Finns roof and having your friends around you. And, you know what another word for content is Miles?”
“Complacent.”
“That is what you are, what you have become. Complacent.”
Austin lowers the picture back down and grinds his teeth together, clenching his jaw before taking a deep breath in.
”This match is a chance for you to break that. And I wish I could say for sure that I know, if you won, that you would take the opportunity with both hands and do something with it. I really do. I want to have faith in you, that you’ll win and go after someone like J2H with all the vigor you have and try and become a champion.”
“But, I don’t have that faith in you Miles.”
“Instead, I believe if you somehow won, you’d book Carter in a match against J2H after he failed. You’d gift that to him in some kind of misguided selfless act of love and respect. And while it’s a lovely story and while Carter is an impressive athlete and someone who has accomplished alot….it would still be a waste.”
“And I refuse to allow you to waste this chance.”
“I’m going into violent conduct to collect heads and become a king. To book my way to what I want and what I need. And this lesson, Miles, willl be your last. Much like the ass kicking I give Alexander Raven will be, or the eye opening I give Jack…”
Family
He opened his eyes, looking over at the empty side of the bed, reaching out, and his fingertips dance along the mattress. He shook his head as he sat up, kissing his legs to the side and wincing in pain. He had only been back a day, arriving back at home late in the afternoon. Not early enough to do anything with his children, but not loud enough that he didn’t get to see them before bed.
But now, it was the next morning. And as Austin looked over at the digital clock, sitting on his bedside table, he realised, the kids would be at school.
He moved along the hallway to the stairs, moving down towards the kitchen, where he heard movement, footsteps, the unmistakable sound of kitchenware being moved and used. Smell in the air. He laughed and shook his head, moving down into the kitchen, where he found her. Alicia, One pants sitting on the stove top, the air fryer switched on. And a few plates sitting on the centre part of the kitchen bench.
She looked over her shoulder, a small smile coming across her face as she motion for Austin to sit down in front of a large glass of fresh juice that she had made.
Austin took a deep breath in, finding in self able to relax, even with the nagging pains from his last match. It has been a long time since Alicia had been in the ring, taking time off to deal with nagging injuries, and looking after her sons. But she was ready to return soon, ready to come back to the world, that both she and Austin had fallen in love with.
In fact, they had a lot in common. They were both from families involved in wrestling. Alicia‘s father. Jason had been a large name in the late 80s early 90s, and then in Japan towards the back end of his career, his sister and brother, both stepping into the business. Austin to came from that side of the family. His father, before giving it all up to dip his toes in business, have been a professional wrestler before him. Along with his grandfather, his great aunt, and great uncle, stretching back generations up across the north east of the United States.
But, it wasn’t that shared past or experience that through them together. At least not that side of it. It has been everything else they had gone through in their personal lives that seemed to match up. The sense of loss and pain. Alicia turned placing two plates down and sliding one of them across to Austin. Toast, scrambled, eggs, and fried bacon. Everything are growing Austin needed. ”Morning”
Austin could not help but laugh. He shook his head and took a sip of juice before finally responding. ”Yes it is…” Alicia shook her head and sighed rolling her eyes, seemingly sick of Austins dad jokes. He laughed to himself and stretched his neck. ”Sorry…”
”No you’re not.”
He laughed again, it seemed that Austin finally found his laugh again after so much time. ”You know, Zoey came to me…she wanted to talk.”
Alicia popped a bit of bacon in her mouth, sitting back onto the opposite bench, her arms folded over her chest, wearing on of Austins t-shirts, it looked huge on her. ”Oh? What did she say?”
He cleared his throat, sitting forward and looking Alicia right in the eye, a few strands of his flowing dark brown hair falling on either side of his face, framing it. ”She needed to vent.” Alicia tilted her head to the side, waiting for more information. Austin sighed and continued. ”So, you and me, our relationship. I think it shocked her. Because of what I did to Aron and Fenris….the whole past that we had…I think you being with me hurt her.”
Alicia looked less than impressed, gritting her teeth together. ”Seriously? She came at you like that? Like she’s so perfect and never hurt anyone or made a mistake? Fucking Zoey, I told her to back off, I told her this was my decision….I’m going to kill her…”
Alicia was angry, frustrated. She paced back and forth. Austin pushed off the counter, moving around to Alicia, he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her to face him, she looked up, he shook his head with a small smirk. ”It’s ok. I get it. She has every right to want to talk about it. Alicia stayed silent, Austin shook his head and stepped back. ”After what I did to Aron, even though he and I are cool now and even though it’s in the past…well…I’m suddenly involved in her family…it can’t be easy.”
”Well…I still don’t like it…at all..” She closes her eyes taking a deep breath and running her hands through her long blond hair as Austin moves back around to enjoy his breakfast. Something else seemed to be on Alicias mind. She took a sip of her own juice and then a deep breath followed by a question. ”Aus…can you…come with me to see my mother?” Austin paused, he knew this was a big step and wanted to chose his words carefully. ”I mean….only if you want to, if it’s too soon we can wait..”
”No, not it’s not that. I get it…I think it’s time…besides, I know it means alot to you and is a big step.” Alicia relaxed, she moved forward kissing Austin and wrapping her arms around his neck before putting her head on Austins chest.
”Thank you,,,”
Disappointed
”Some of you are so disappointing it makes me feel nauseous. See, I give you people rope to run with and instead you end up hanging yourselves with it.”
Austin groans and shakes his head before looking forward with a smirk.
[color=lightblue}”Strangely enough the only one of you that didn’t hang himself with it was the one who normally never shuts up. While Miles and Jack had no problems running their mouths as we lead into the match Alexander Raven decided that silence was the better route, and truth be told. I was impressed that he came to that conclusion. However, we’re in the entertainment business. As much as I wish all of this was just about who the best was and who can prove it…well…it’s not.”[/color]
Austin shrugs and sits back, reaching forward and picking up a small glass with scotch and ice, taking a sip.
”This is about promotion. You see, if I beat you three, and no one is there to see it, did I really do it? If people don’t care about the match, because people in it don’t seem to care about it, will they bother watching, or keeping track of what happens? this is the reality that we have all faced. And while I am faced with two paths of thought, when it comes to Alexander Raven, part of me, believes that the silence was the lesser of two evils. You see, there is an old adage that comes into mind whenever I have a look at Alexander and listen to anything he has to say.”
“It is better to be thought of as a fool that to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.”
“However, Alexander, your silence speaks louder than any words that you could have brought up say. You know damn well that no one wants to see you win this match. You know that no one wants to live in a world where you have any type of power over their careers or their lives. No one wants you to win this because of how unbelievably up your own ass you are.”
“So, what exactly do we do now? Where do we go from here? Everything I said about you last week still rings through today. Yeah I have nothing to work off of. You said nothing. So I can’t sit here and Terrett apart and make you look like an idiot, and when it comes down to it? You have ruined my farm. Some of the most fun I’ve ever had is listening to all the dumb crap that you say, and being able to not only refuted, but completely Terrett apart. And you have taken that enjoyment from me and out of my life. So, when we get in that bring, I’m gonna do everything I can to make your life a living hell, Alexander. “
Austin takes another sip of scotch and sits back further in his chair, a figure moves behind Austin, pouring another drink for him as a hand slides down from his shoulder across his chest.
”Atleast Alexander, decided to stay silent instead of opening his mouth and saying something stupid. Miles on the other hand, didn’t quite learn his lesson. I was impressed miles, I was. You showed this fire in your stomach that I don’t believe I’ve ever seen in you. It is one of the things that I’ve always criticised before, while you show some form of passion, it is never been a directed focus. It’s something that you’ve always lacked. You don’t lack the talent, you don’t lack the fire, you don’t even lack the drive. You lack the focus.”
“The only problem is that I didn’t believe it.”
“It was just talk. And talk does not impress me. You can sit there and you can promote the match, you can talk yourself into any type of confidence that you want. But at the end of the day, you have not shown any of us anything that would lead us to believe that what you said was true. everyone does it in this business and this company. They lose and they fail and they fall, and when they try and pick themselves up, he just want to make outlandish promises and talk about passion like it means something. I have fallen and been beaten and dragged myself back up time and time again, and I have proven myself. Something that Jack seems to have forgotten, but I’ll get to him in a moment. Right now it’s all about you Miles.”
“It is about your failures, your fall. And the fact that you’ve never been able to pull yourself back up. “
“You need to stand up. You need to go into this match, one that you seem to want to win so badly, and show that fire physically. You need to climb that ladder and take your opportunity. And to do it you have to beat Alexander Raven, you have to beat Jack Washington, and you have to beat me. And you know what I’m capable of, you know better than anyone else what I’m capable of, and that should make you feel fear. The other to think they know me, and they want to talk as if I am inconsequential in this company. But you know the truth, you know the difference, and you know what I am prepared to do, and how far I’m willing to go. So now you need to sit back and think, how far are you willing to go Miles?”
Austin scoffs and rolls his eyes before taking down the last mouthful of scotch.
”Miles tried to show fire through words. But someone who I know has fire and passion in the stomach is Jack, Washington. He has to have it. He has to have all of this fire and passion for the business because that blaze needs to hide all the insecurities that he has. All the ones that he tries to keep hidden away, in a little box, because he doesn’t want the world to know that he’s still a scared child.”
“A a scared child who tries to hide it all Beneze smart arse humor, and impetuous youth. And that is something that I can identify with. I remember what it was like when I came into the business Jack, I remember all the success that I had when I first came into professional wrestling. I know what it’s like to have it also early and then have to live up to it for the rest of your career. it’s something that you threw back in my face. You want to talk about me like I’m has been? You want to talk about me like I haven’t done anything since I was the world champion? You want to forget about my mixed tagteam title reign, or the Internet championship reign, or all of the legends in this company that I’ve beaten put to the sword?”
“Maybe I deserve it. And maybe you’re right. But then again, maybe you need to look in the mirror. For all the great things you’ve done so early in your career, you have also stumbled and fallen. The only difference between you and Miles is that you’ve pulled yourself back up time and time again.”
“The impetuous youth is not the one that we want Jack. I don’t want to see that version of you become king for a Day. If you are to win this match and take all of that control, then I’m going to want to see the champion that you were. I’m going to want to see the guy who was the world champion who destroyed everyone in his path and prove everyone wrong when they said he wasn’t ready. That is the kind of person I want to see climb that ladder and become king for a Day. I want to see the champion, not the fucking child. And that’s why I’m going to have to stop all of you and become the king for a Day, because I’m the only one who will know what to do with it.”