Chapter 33:Truth
I had to see him.
As much as I wanted to deny that Jace’s words had no effect. I couldn’t lie to myself. As I left my home, the Home that I had made for myself after leaving Finn‘s apartment. So many months ago, I had a sense of dread well up in my stomach. It may be feel sick. So unbelievably ill that I almost had to stop and throw up more than once. but as I walked a few blocks over to get to Finn‘s apartment, I felt an odd sense of calm wash over Me.
An overwhelming need to make sure he was okay. If it was bullshit, then he would be fine, but if it wasn’t if he really was involved in something to do with the Yakuza, then I needed to be there for him. I needed to make sure that nothing was going to happen to him.
Because deep down as much as I didn’t want to admit it. Not just admit it to him or anyone else but also to myself. I cared for him. I cared for him more than a tag team partner. I cared for him more than a friend or an acquaintance. It was deeper than that.
And this had gone to affirm it.
We had our ups and downs, we had moments where we hated each other. But now with all of this happening, I knew that I wanted to be there for him. Just like he had been there for me all those months ago. Just like he had been there for me when Billie and I broke up and I needed a friend. Just like he had been there for me when I had hit rock bottom. He deserved that, he had earned that. And as I got closer and closer to his apartment, I knew that he was going to push me away. He was going to tell me anything that I wanted to hear just to get out of there.
The unfortunate part for him was that I knew him. I knew how to read his body language. I knew how to read how he thought through his eyes I know Finn Whelan. I know him better than he knows himself. And I was going to use that to my advantage. As much as I Was scared that he was going to push me away and shove me out the door I knew that he would also be just scared to do so. Because Finn was scared of losing me.
I know he is……
And I was scared of losing him.
My heart beat so fast and hard I thought my cheat was about to give in. My legs ached as I almost started to run. Run through the snowy, incredibly cold New York winter streets. All toward the place I used to call home. Through the lobby area where the doorman gave me a knowing nod and the receptionist smiled in her fake overly polite way. The elevator noise, the feeling, the smell. It all made me feel like I was coming home not visiting…
I fucking hate that.
The elevator stopped. I took in a deep breath as the doors opened, and I moved down the hallway. My feet carried me as fast as they could. I slowed down, tilting my head as I made a figure out in the dimly lit corridor. There was a man, dressed in some form of black suit. He leaned against the wall, his left leg propped up as he kept his left hand in his pocket. His eyes stared a hole through me. And then it hit me, he was standing next to Finn's front door.
I blinked a few times as I got closer, the man tilted his head with a small smirk coming across his lips but then quickly fading as fast as it appeared. [color-grey]”Kare wa ie ni imasen”[/color]
I swallowed and shook my head with a sigh. ”I’m sorry…I don’t understand.”
He chuckled and shook his head, pushing off the wall and folding his arms over his chest. ”Of course, English speaker. Why learn another language?”
My nostrils flared, I ground my teeth together and folded my arms over my chest. ”Orice ai spune, idiotule” I fired back, I could see the confusion on his face, but he tried to hide it. After a few moments, he gave a small nod. It might have been some form of appreciation.
”I can see why he likes you. However, Finnegan is not here.”
My heart sank, I swallowed hard as I felt this man's eyes moving up and down my body. Studying me, studying my body language, movements, and tone. ”Right. Well, thanks I guess…” I backed up and went to turn, but the man stepped forward.
”Are you not curious?” I stopped and looked over my shoulder with an eyebrow raised. ”I thought you would ask upon his whereabouts. Or at least who I am to him.” I stayed silent, turning to face him as he slightly bowed. ”My name is Kei. I don’t know how much Finnegan has told you about me.”
” Nothing. Never mentioned you and the name doesn’t ring a bell. Sorry….don’t know anything about you…”
I went to move away again, and again he stopped me. ”Yes, but I know much about you. Kayla Richards.” I swallowed hard and shook my head, turning to face him as he stepped forward, moving around me and looking me up and down. ”A fighter, a wrestler, a performer. Much like our mutual friend.” He paused and stopped his to my side, looking me up and down a little more. ”Black hair, pale skin, almost like porcelain. And covered in her own story.”
I scoffed and shook my head with a small growl under my breath. ”Really? That’s what you got? Stuff you can find out by watching an SCW show or by simply looking at me? Gotta say. Not that impressive.”
Kei tilted his head, narrowing his eyes and then laughing under a nod. ”You have fire inside you. Much as I would expect from someone who survived the Romani.” I froze, a chill running up and then back down my spine. My eyes widened as he moved around in front of me and put his hands behind his back. ”Does that impress you a little more? Little Raven”
I couldn’t hold it in. Normally I can, I can hold back emotions, shield them all behind a calm mask of blank expressions and subdued emotions, But not this time. Not with this. Not with those words and that name. ”How did you know that name?” He chuckled and shook his head. Not giving me any answer, any clue. Just silence and an arrogant look in his eye with a menacing edge. ”You think you scare me? Intimidate me?...make me uncomfortable?” I swallowed, pushing all the fear down. ”If you know that name, then you know what I’ve been through…”
”That is safe to say. Yes”
”So, you know that it takes a lot to rattle me. And hey, you got closer than most.” I growled and leaned toward him. ”But I am not some little girl you can terrify with a few words…now if you’ll excuse me if Finn isn’t here…then I don’t want to be either…” I backed away, Kei just watched me, not saying anything. Just staring as I walked toward the elevator. I stepped in, I watched the doors close and the second they did it all opened up. I pushed out a breath, my heart exploded and I started shaking.
The little Raven was trapped in a cage…
The final nail in the coffin.
”Sometimes, you take what you can get.”
Kayla growls under her breath, her arms folded over her shoulders as she’s dressed in a black leather jacket, a white halter top black skinny jeans, and Converse. Her long black hair was tied back in a bun with a few strands of hair floating down to frame her face.
”Did Finn and I retain our titles the way we wanted to? Of course not. Alexander Raven sticking his fucking nose in our business has done nothing but piss me off. And if I could I’d slap the taste out of his mouth and tell him so. But, in the end, Finn and I are still the mixed tag team champions and he has a shot at becoming the SCW world heavyweight champion against Goth. Now, I’m happy for my partner. I am, don’t get it twisted. But Finn, as a current mixed champion and former Roulette and World champion deserves this spot. However…”
“I too am a former champion and current champion.l I am a three-time Internet champion and I have one of the best records in this company, ever. Hell, I have one of the best win percentages in this goddamn industry. When I go on television, whether that is in a match on climax control, or I pick up a microphone, or I appear on a supercard, it doesn’t matter. Kayla goddamn Richards makes money for this company, hand over goddamn fist.”
“I have beaten hall of fame caliber names, stars of yesteryear and beyond, I have beaten the “best” this company has to offer and I have held titles for record reigns and yet as we head into My bloody valentine, what do I have? What do I see?”
“I see undeserving people getting opportunities that should be mine. And I get handed…nothing…”
“NOTHING.”
Kayla puts emphasis on the word, shaking her head and grabbing the mixed tag team championship with a smirk, throwing it over her shoulder and letting her thumb rest on the nameplate drawing attention to it.
”See, I don’t get things handed to me, I have always earned them. But now it seems like I can’t even EARN a shot at advancing this company. The roulette title, a championship that is nothing but a joke of a sideshow is being contested by the has been champion and a no-name wannabe yet still somehow has higher booking and more promotion than me stepping in the ring. But the only solace I have in this is seeing that the Internet championship, a title I helped make relevant is being contested in a fatal fourway…like the prize, it has always been.”
“However, where am I?”
“Am I in a match where I can earn a shot at the Bombshells championship against one of the best in this company?”
“No…”
“Is the woman that is facing our champion better than me in any way, shape, or form? Justifying this semi-main event?”
She chuckles. “No.”
Kayla flippantly flicks her hand to the side, obviously angry and frustrated.
”Instead we have to watch Julianna DiMaria embarrass Alexandra Calaway and Julianna not even break a sweat. And hey, I don’t want you to get confused, I dislike Juliana but she is the champion for a reason and Alexandra isn’t on her level, she isn’t in her league. But, you know who is? Me. I am. I am a goddamn main event star and instead of being in a main event, instead of facing the champion since I am the goddamn best right now I’m facing Seleana Zdunich.”
“Really?”
“I think there was some kind of weird swingers party that I wasn’t invited to and Julianna and I seem to have switched dance partners. Alexandra Calaway and Seleana Zdunich should be facing each other in a dark match before the show begins instead of one of them facing me and the other being in a championship match. So that is what I am dealing with. And I get it, I do. Seleana wants to try and claw back some of the relevancy she had been slowly sucking out of Crystal for the last five years. But she’s not going to get that from me.”
“See, Sel, I understand you have a past. I do. I understand you have had some success here. Being a former Bombshells world champion and roulette champion. You get to say that Sel, and hey, that’s great. But if anyone actually looks at your career people can’t help but laugh.”
“Your world title reign was laughable and is the definition of the word “fluke”. And in five years you’ve had ample opportunities to prove everyone wrong. To step up and win that title again and all you could muster, all you could do is win the roulette title…and even that was over three years ago…Over five years and no redemption, no career growth, just regression and living off of your personal relationships and past glory…”
She scoffs and rolls her eyes.
”Par for the course really. It’s the same trick that Sam Marlowe, Mercedes Vargas, and even your wife has done. And hey I’m old friends with Crystal. She and I go way back. She has known me and both my sisters for almost a decade. She knew me when I was an 18-year-old tattooless kid. And between you and me Sel…I think she’s always had a bit of a crush on me…but, she was never my type, and I was clearly never hers. Since I can string a sentence together and have an IQ higher than my shoe size…”
“And I don’t lose to people like Bea Barnhart…”
“And yes, I had to double-check that. I had to rewatch that match over and over again trying to find some kind of reason why. But in the end, I came up blank, and then. Well. I got angry.”
“I got angry because when I saw I was facing you I realized how little this co company cares about me. I have subverted expectations every single time I have stepped in an SCW ring. I have been one of the best champions that the Internet title ever had and have made these mixed tag titles relevant. Yet instead of being rewarded for my efforts and being positioned as the FUCKING STAR I am…”
“I was given you Seleana. A woman who hasn’t been relevant in years and who, as I said…just lost to fucking Bea Barnhart.”
Kayla tuts and shakes her head, clearly frustrated and flustered by all of this.
”But, this is a huge chance for you. Huge. See, I don’t get anything out of beating you. At all. And that’s what really pisses me off. I beat you and I get a little tick on my fucking record, I get to say I beat another former world champion. But, it means nothing. However…you beat me?”
“Well, here’s your ticket to relevance.”
“You beat me and suddenly Seleana Zdunich is back on everyone's minds. People will forgive and forget the fact you have been nothing but a massive failure for the last three years. And all you have to do to revive your pathetic, failing career is to beat me. Beat a current champion, beat one of the most dominant women on the roster right now. That’s it. No pressure right? Well, let's see how you do. Let's see if you can claw your way back out of the hell you put yourself in through your own actions. And it will be fitting that this happens at My Bloody Valentine”
Chapter 34: Lies
I had to find him.
After what happened a few days ago my mind was set ablaze with thoughts. Some realistic, others not so much. Put in the realm of fantastical crime conspiracies and stories. Since I left the apartment complex, the one I used to call my home, I had this feeling eating away at me. A foreboding sense of dread and fear.
That bothered me.
Fear
I was never someone who would be filled with fear or would ever let myself fall to such a base emotion, But, here I was. A few days removed from the confrontation with the Japanese man named Kei. A man who not only knew Finn but also, somehow knew me. And not just in the usual way. Not one that someone could learn through google or a little surface digging. No. He knew things about me that were hidden, dead and buried. Things that a handful of people knew or would talk about. And most of them were dead.
So, what now? Since it happened I had been struggling to sleep or relax. The memory of it, what he said, how he looked and how it all made me feel weighed on me. Just like the meeting with Jace. However, I knew Jace. I recognised who he is and was. And I have to say, whoever said it is better the devil you know than the devil you don’t didn’t have a fear of the unknown. And that is what really got under my skin.
The what if.
So I made my way to somewhere that I knew Finn would be. Away from any prying eyes. A place where Kei wouldn’t be. Wolfslair. I hated going there. Mainly because everyone knew me and when I stepped through those doors the voices would all act familiar, friendly. Even kind. Fucking kind. To me. I had no idea why, I wasn’t one of them. I wasn’t a member of their little group, a gym designed to make you better while making those around you better. No thanks. I never needed or wanted that.
I did what I do best. I ignored them.
I moved through the gym, across the floor and toward the back. I knew where he would be and I felt the eyes on me. The eyes of everyone in that place. Either they knew me and were wondering why I was there, or they were new and didn’t know me, and were wondering who I was. Either way, I was being stared at, because eyes are always on someone like me. But, I heard the whispers too, moving through toward Finn, his back was to me, but he knew I was there before I said a word.
”Kayla….”
His voice was measured and it’s usual tone and cadenced. I cleared my throat and sighed heavily. ”Hey, I’m sorry to come here while you’re….doing whatever this is. But I have something to talk to you about.” I lauded, lowering my voice and leaning in closer. ”Something important” He turned and looked me right in the eyes. His body language changing as he knew I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t something big. He gave a small nod and turned back, motioning to those around him that he would be back.
We made out way toward the office, it was empty, both Alex Jones and his wife Sonja were not in, perfect for us. As I moved and turned to lean on one of the desks Finn closed the door behind us, turning and folding his arms over his chest, his piercing eyes staring a hole right through me, and for a split second I felt safe and forgot why I was there. Until his voice broke the silence and the illusion. ”So, what’s up? You seem, I don’t know, scared?” I swallowed and looked away.
He was right. I was scared. I was terrified. But I was trying to hide it. And apparently failing. ”So, I came to see you. A few days ago…” Finn listened intently, his eyebrow raising as I moved my hair from my face trying to choose my words carefully. ”There was a guy there. A friend of yours. Named Kei.”
I saw it, in that exact moment. The recognition it Finns eyes. As soon as I said the name his body language shifted. Only for a split second, before he regained his composure trying to hide it. His voice staying the same tone and measured cadance as before. ”I see. Well, I wasn’t home…”
”Yeah that isn’t the problem. The problem was what he said. He knew things, he….” I trailed off and looked around, my breathing started to move faster along with the rhythm of my heart. ”He knew things. Like shit he shouldn’t have known. What are you involved in Finn?”
”Nothing.”
”Bullshit!” I growled and stepped forward. ”He was fucking scary Finn. Whatever is going on, I can help…”
”No” His answer was short and sharp. His voice raising as he shook his head and stepped forward. ”I don’t need or want your help Kayla. We aren’t friends, we are just tag team partners. Forced together by fucking circumstance. Or have you forgotten?” I swallowed hard and took a step back, avoiding eye contact. I knew it shouldn’t have, but that really fucking hurt. ”Anything there, is my business, not yours.”
He shook his head and turned away, opening the door and stepping to the side, a motion to usher me out and away. I ground my teeth together, the feeling of frustration and fear changing to anger. ”Fine. Whatever…” I stormed forward and stopped just in front of him with a sneer. ”I’m so fucking sorry for caring about you….” My hands balled into fists and I kept staring forward, holding back angry tears. ”I promise, I won’t make that mistake again.” I felt him shift, but I didn’t look at him to see how. Ididn’t know if it was remorse, regret or if he was now angry. I didn’t stick around to find out, moving through the gym and out the door.
Fuck this shit.
Disappointment
”That’s it?”
The voice of Kayla Richards breaks the silence, she paces back and forth, clearly annoyed. Her eyes burning a hole forward as she moved from left to right with her hands on her hips.
”You know, I’m used to opponents saying so much without actually saying anything. Take someone like Ariana Angelos or Keira Fisher-Johnson. They would ramble on for twenty-twenty five minutes. Rambling on over and over again and by the end of it, nothing of value would have been said. Just word soup with no direction or no point. That I’m used to. Shit our Bombshells champion does that. And not only does she do that leading up to the day with her pre match promos she also does it on the shows.”
“But what I’m not used to, is an opponent just flat out saying nothing. Just pushing everything under the rug and rolling over and giving up. Now, I want to tell you a personal story.”
“See, I have been presented with so many moments in my life and career where I just wanted to give up, where I looked in the mirror and muttered to myself “What is the point”. And at the time I didn’t see the point. I didn’t see the point in getting up in the morning, in going to the gym or signing a contract extension. I didn’t see the point in curtting a promo or putting on my gear or even turning up to any shows.”
“I didn’t see the point in any of it.”
“But, here’s the thing Seleana. I still did. I’d still get up in the morning. I’d still go to the gym, I’d eat right and I’d make my bookings. I’d still do everything in my life that I had to including, the promotional work. But you? You just rolled over and said…what exactly?”
Kayla pauses and looks around, waiting for an answer that will never come.
”You went down memory lane. Bringing up Hybrid, a company that died the second I walked out and is no longer relevant in it’s husk of a form. Much like you. You and that company have so much in common Seleana. You’re both relics from the past that refuse to just roll over and die. Instead I get little quirks about being reminded of who I am. By a friend. I’m guessing that friend was Stacy Jones, a woman who was in SCW for a cup of coffee and then bounced cause she couldn’t hack the competition.”
“But, I’m glad you suddenly remembered who I am and what I’m about vause, truth be told, I forgot you and I had that history in common. Cause while I was on top of that place and that time, becoming their grand champion and destroying evetryone and everything, you were…nothing. Nobody. A side name on a card just to fill it out. No one paid to see you no one cared to see you and it’s exactly ther same here.”
“You aren’t relevant.”
“You aren’t relevant in the mixed tag division or the bombshells divisions at large and you even said as much. Putting in a little hint about maybe having a tag team partner like that would fucking matter. And then blithering on adding “ja” to the end of every damn sentence because of some bullshit stereotype they added into your contract. I expected more. I anted more. I needed more. But instead of getting an opponent who has some fire in her eyes I got…whatever you are.”
Frustration shows. Kayla throws her arms in the air and she growls.
”I am trying to desperately hard to make this match matter Seleana. I am trying to get you to stand up, tell me that you are going to kick my teeth down my throat and make me regret my words. That you are going to try and claw your way back to a championship and do yourself proud. Something., Anything. Some goddamn passion for this business. But instead I got monotone, single sentence, boring bullshit.”
“There was so much you could have said, so much you could have picked up on with me and brought to light but instead you chose to focus on the one thing that everyone already knows about. My ego. My overinflated ego. Hell you actually stood there and said it would be in my best interest to admit someone is on my level….”
“Really?”
“Have you met me?”
“You just fucking said you knew me but want to throw that one in there? I don’t need to admit anyone is on my level, I need people to prove to me they are. To beat me and beat me at my own game. To show me that they will do anything and everything to get ahead. But you? You certainly aren’t capable of that. You aren’t capable of anything. You’re like a scared little kitten, cowering in a corner. In fact, while I have alot of words I could use to describe you, the one that really sticks in there is a simple one…”
“Weak…”
Kayla pauses and shakes her head, waiting a moment before leaning forward.
”Weak heart, weak body, weak mind and weak drive.”
“I have a drive to succeedd unlike so many others and I am on a different level. I am ready to do things and say things that no one else will to become the best anf that Seleana is what separates people like me from people like you. And while you are comfortable in being a cowardly weakling, I can’t relate to that. I can’t be scared like you are when it comes to this. And yes Seleana you are scared.”
“You had success. You had it all in your hands and it was put there by your wife. Crystal did it. She did it for you and instead of thanking her, instead of leaning in to it and being the best and being the world champion you pouted like a child and gave it all up because of some misguided sense of morality and pride.”
“And it slipped right through your fingers.”
“So here I am, trying to bring the best out of you and get you to show some goddamn passion and all I got from you was dismissive stupidity and laziness. And while I can work with that, while I can use that to get angry and rip your head off, I know you won’t use it for anything. You won’t get motivated, you won’t get angry. You’ll turn up, get beaten and then get your pay and go home…and maybe Sel…maybe you should stay there. And never come back…”