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> Hitamashii Vs Senor Vinnie, Singles match
Mark Ward
Posted: February 24, 2019 03:53 pm


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Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brothers keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the LORD, when I lay my vengeance upon thee

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Posted: March 02, 2019 06:18 pm


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Triathlon preperations part one

We are in Tijuana, Mexico on the local high shool’s athletics and track team. He is wearing a rather too short of a shirt and a way too big of a shorts as he is attempting to do something that resembles stretching. On the wooden bench next to him is his cactus Pete and his nephew Pepe, who is also wearing the same track shirt and shorts as his uncle.

Pepe: Uncle Vinnie, why in the blue hell did you bring me here?? And why are you wearing my shorts???

Vinnie looks up at his nephew and then turns his attention to the shorts and realizes that his fat nephew was right as the shorts are constantly dropping to his ankles.

Senor Vinnie: Gracias Pepe, I was wondering whether I had lost weight or that the elastic somehow snapped when I did some bending exercises. Get in front of me

His nephew blinks his eyes, not believing what his uncle is saying to him.

Pepe: Uhm.., why??

Senor Vinnie is rolling his eyes as he is gesturing to his nephew to get in front of hi.

Senor Vinnie: That way I can exchange shorts with you without the camera seeing me Pepe. You know that this is a family oriented program right?? I cannot have some explicit personal scenes be all over the internet now can I??

Pepe: But….,

Senor Vinnie does not have any intentions to listen to the poorly attempted excuses from Pepe to not get off the bench as he is trying to get him off of the bench by pulling on his arms. Suddenly we hear a sound of clothing being ripped.

Pepe: Uh oh…..

Senor Vinnie is looking at his nephew with a questionable look on his face.

Senor Vinnie: Pepe?? What happened??

Pepe: I uhm.., well…, please don’t turn me around uncle…. I…

Silence

Vinnie looks over at Pete, clearly he had heard him say something and then turned towards his nephew and sees that the shorts that was meant for him was ripped apart by the sudden movement of his nephew. Combined with the fact that the shorts was way too small for his nephews fat ass made it impossible for it not to be torn apart.

Senor Vinnie: Pete?? Could you not have warned me sooner?? Now I have to have you go back to the dressing room and ask these people to get us some spare.

Silence

Senor Vinnie: Why me or Pepe cannot do that?? Can’t you see that Pepe is butt naked?? And that I am almost camping inside these shorts??

Silence

Senor Vinnie’s eyes bulge out to the size of dishes after hearing the answer from is cactus Pete.

Senor Vinnie: Oh why did I not think of that?? Of course, I should just give Pepe his shorts so that he can run off and get me a spare one. Did you not remember that I am usually wearing thongs when I go to the gym or do any other type of sports?? Secondly, I have this huge rash on my left butt cheek and I am not going to have any fan out there on these stands to have pictures taken of my rash!!!

The camera turns towards te stands where there’s nobody sitting there to watch the threesome in the middle of the field. But Senor Vinnie is obviously oblivious for that as he continues his rant

Senor Vinnie: Besides, you are the trainer Pete. You need to make sure that everything is prepared for the right way. And clearly you fucked up!!!

Silence

Senor Vinnie: Why? Why you ask?? Don’t you see that this shirt is clearly cactus sized??

Silence

Senor Vinnie: Don’t come with the bullshit that it may be a tad too small!! This shirt also has tiny holes in them as the label reads that they are made for spines of a cactus to go though and giving you more oxygen to enter your body.

Silence

Senor Vinnie grins as he nods his head.

Senor Vinnie: I thought so that this would shut you up completely!! I’m not from yesterday you know!! I’m the golden briefcase winner, I am the man that has lost it all THANKS TO YOU!!!

Silence

Senor Vinnie: Oh don’t come to me with these lies!! You forced me to do so!! How in the hell did you manage to hypnotize me in the first place???

Silence

Senor Vinnie: YOU WHAT???!!! How in the hell did you get David Copperfield so far to teach you some magical tricks?? Including hypnotism??

Silence

Senor Vinnie: He got a cactus from you?? you gave him uncle Simon?? Unbelievable!! Did you tell him that he is a pyromaniac??

Silence

Senor Vinnie: Since when did he go to a rehab to better his life?? A few months ago I had to pay is bill for setting fire on that school bus!!!

Silence

Senor Vinnie: Oh that was after I paid for his release?? And he hasn’t been near matches or lighters since then???

Silence

Senor Vinnie scratches his head and shrugs after a few secs

Senor Vinnie: Good enough for me, I guess with him being drugged all the time would be hard for him to burn anything down. But now about those shorts!!

Pepe: Oh come on!!!

Pepe grabs the hat off the cactus and holds it in front of his privates before he runs off, a big black bar emerges on screen to take away the view of his backside as he is running to the locker room. Vinnie looks at his nephew before turning to his cactus

Senor Vinnie: See what you just did?? You just scarred Pepe for life!!!

Silence

Senor Vinnie shrugs as he apparently has to agree to whatever it was that Pete said.

Senor Vinnie: True, he does work on a sweat before we go to our first exercise

The shot fades as Senor Vinnie and his cactus Pete are waiting for Pete to return with the correct shorts for them to prepare for the triathlon.

Wo are you???

We cut to the poolside area of Senor Vinnie’s house, where he is relaxing in his jacuzzi while drinking on a cocktail. He is looking at the Climax Control match of his opponent Hitamashii and he is shaking his head in disbelief

Senor Vinnie: This is what I have to be worried about at the Blaze of Glory super show??? This???

He scratches his head and cannot believe what he is watching before taking another sip from his cocktail and sighs.

Senor Vinnie: Maybe if I just take another cocktail with some more alcohol in it that this Japanese guy would look impressive to me. I mean seriously, what is his name actually???

Oh wait I know, it is Nakatoma, you know from the Nakatoma building that was used in that Die Hard movie?? You know with Bruce Willice, now man if there has ever been a gringo that was a tough cookie.. then it would have been him for sure!! Yippie ka yay mother-bleeep!!-er!!!.. Wait, what ust happened???

He looks around, realizing that he was sencored for not saying something that is in appropriate for the young listeners to hear and he understands.

Senor Vinnie: So you lost Nakatoma, not much of a way to get in the ring with me isn’t it Nakatoma san?? No of course you will just blame it on anything except you, because that’s what you superior human beings do don’t they?? Always blame it on others.

Now you may ask yourself why am I calling you a superior human being?? Well it’s because people from the land of the rising sun are hard-working, dedicated and loyal people. Those who do not accept failure and only success. Well let’s just say you don’t fit the bill quite exactly no???

Of course not!! you lost to Morgan right?? The great Nakatoma lost, now that is a huge shocker. I’m sure that your relatives in the old land of Japan has already disowned you for being a loser right?? And you are calling ME out?? Seriously my Japanese friend, do you have a death wish?? It would almost sound like you are already feeling homesick and take advantage of every given opportunity that is handed to you on a silver platter.

Is that your training huh Nakatoma?? Being a loser?? I guess Casey taught you well my friend, but don’t worry. After I’m done with you then you will understand that Mexican’s have always been superior to their Japanese counter parts in the way of the wrestling world. Lucha is far more superior to your strong style.

He grins, mockingly repeats the word strong style in a soft whisper while pretending to do some hard hitting moves with his arms. Causing the water to splash up in the air and hitting him in the face as that causes him to cough in surprise.

Senor Vinnie: You are challenging the man that will be world champion at Summer XXXtreme my Japanese friend. I know that your rice oriented brain is already figuring out that you are thinking the next thing: If you somehow manage to beat me, then you will ultimately be in line for a title shot after I beat whomever is the champion. Ergo, you are the next champion right???

Wrong!!!!

He shakes his head in disbelief before wiping his hand across his face to clean his face with the water and sighs.

Senor Vinnie: First of all, a bunny has a bigger chance to beat a cow in carrot eating than you ever beating me. Who do you think you are?? Godzilla??? Now I must say that I enjoyed the rubber suits movies that you fools brought out throughout the decades of boring cinematics that came out of Japan. But you are just an imaginary thought that got thrown in the garbage can after realizing that a bug has no chance in hell to be a hero.

Now before you bring up the thought of Ant Man?? True, he is smaller than anything that your nail clipper has ever witnessed after you taking off your socks. But he eventually found out that he could reverse the powers and become a big oaf just like your trainer Casey was.

Now I can go on for hours and hours Nakatoma, badmouthing you and everyone else that you know. But I have to catch my beauty sleep in like five minutes and I just hate to see my collective calmness being wasted upon a sushi bar like you.

So I will give you the benefit of the doubt, go soft on you on the first week. Wait for your rambling on and telling your friend Johan that you know what you are up against… only to google every possible thing that you can find about Senor Vinnie and realize that the rice that you are trying to chew is the same treatment that father time will give your teeth if you are so ignorant not to alter your food habits every now and again. And compare it to my ability to shove a foot down your throat and make you sing scattman without any teeth. Good luck Nakatoma…, not going to work big time!!!

He grins as he is about to get out of his jacuzzi, but decides not to just yet and focuses upon the camera one last time.

Senor Vinnie: And when I am done with you Nakatoma, you will go back where you belong. The unemployment line and hoping that none of your relatives will witness the utter destruction of someone that would never be… that never could and never should have in the first place. You just wasted my time and soon you will be a forgotten memory….

Uhm…, what was I talking about again???

He grins as the shot slowly fades



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Hitamashii
Posted: March 02, 2019 07:45 pm


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Kingingiseisha “Hitamashii” Shirasu is seen in the living room of his home in the outskirts of Las Vegas, and he is listening to the British metal band Outright Resistance’s latest album Cargo Cult and he gets a call from his childhood friend Johan Svensson and Hitamashii pauses the music before answering the phone.

Hitamashii-Hey Johan, what is going on?

Johan-I know you have this big match coming up at Blaze of Glory, but I want to remind you that you are my best man at my wedding, and the wedding is approaching soon.

Hitamashii-I am aware, and I already talked to Mark Ward and Christian Underwood about it. They are granting me a leave of absence after the Blast From The Past tournament, so I can focus on the wedding more.

Johan-I see. I am glad that you are going to be at my wedding as my best man.

Hitamashii-I am equally as honored to be involved in your wedding, and be able to embarrass you the only way I can, during the best man toast.

Johan smiles while Hitamashii responds and before Johan can respond, Giovanna chimes in.

Giovanna-Hey Hitamashii, its Giovanna. I also want to see you be successful in SCW, and cannot wait to see you soon.

Johan-I know that you have a tough battle coming up against Senor Vinnie.

Hitamashii-I am a little bit worried as I am not sure I can defeat Senor Vinnie. I mean, the guy talks to a fucking cactus, and if he is willing to talk to inanimate objects like that, I worry about the kind of shit he will do inside the ring.

Johan-I don’t blame you for being worried. I would be too if I were you. We’ll be in touch soon.

Hitamashii-Ok, talk to you later.

Giovanna-Talk to you soon Hitamashii!

Hitamashii gives a half smile, and hangs up the phone and unpauses the music as the scene fades to black.

Hitamashii is seen standing outside the in the Honda Center in Anaheim, California, host city of Blaze of Glory VII, and is about to go buy a ticket to watch the Anaheim Ducks play the Las Vegas Golden Knights and decides to call out his opponent in Senor Vinnie.

Hitamashii-Senor Vinnie, am I supposed to be impressed with you? I know you have that stupid cactus that you talk to. You can talk a good game, but know one thing, when we get in that ring, I mean business, and will prove to you that when your bumping into Hitamashii was the beginning of your downfall, and getting inside the ring, I will fulfill your destiny and you will be spiral out of control when I get done with you, to the point that you will think that you will give up your mariachi act and become a clown. I am the soul of fire and you will be burned at the hands of Hitamashii.

Hitamashii laughs maniacally while looking very confident in himself as he obtains his ticket and goes to find his seat as the scene fades to black.



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Hitamashii
Posted: March 08, 2019 08:53 pm


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Kingingiseisha “Hitamashii” Shirasu is seen outside the Anaheim GardenWalk, hoping to catch a Josh Groban concert at the House of Blues Anaheim and he gets a call from his training friend Andrew Garcia and Hitamashii hesitates going inside before answering the phone.

Hitamashii-Hey Andrew, what is going on?

Andrew-I wanted to wish you luck against Senor Vinnie at Blaze of Glory VII.

Hitamashii-I know you mean well, but I do not need luck against someone petty enough to talk to inanimate objects like a cactus.

Andrew-I see. I am glad that you are still as arrogent as ever. Look, I wanted to let you know that I entered myself into the Blast From The Past tournament that SCW does every year honoring those who came before us.

Hitamashii-I heard of the tournament, and was one of the first ones to enter, to try to do those men and women who came before us proper justice and honor.

Andrew smiles while Hitamashii responds and before Andrew can respond, Ivan Darrell chimes in.

Ivan-Hey Hitamashii, its Ivan. I also want to see you be successful in SCW, and in the Blast from the Past tournament in your debut time entering such a tourament.

Andrew-If you have any questions about how the tournament works or anything, don't be afraid to ask myself, Ivan or Casey, as all 3 of us have entered the tournament.

Hitamashii-I will, but for right now, I am just taking in the sights and sounds of Anaheim, and am about to go see Josh Groban perform to try to get myself to clear my mind before facing a nutjob like Senor Vinnie.

Andrew-I don’t blame you for wanting to clear your mind. I would do it too if I were you. We’ll be in touch soon.

Hitamashii-Ok, talk to you later.

Ivan-Talk to you soon Hitamashii!

Hitamashii gives a half smile, and hangs up the phone and enters the concert hall as the scene fades to black.

Hitamashii is seen standing outside the in the Disneyland in Anaheim, California, host city of Blaze of Glory VII, and is about to go buy a ticket to enjoy the park and all the glitz and glamour and decides to call out his opponent in Senor Vinnie.

Hitamashii-Senor Vinnie, you think you are so cool calling me Nakatoma opposed to Hitamashii. I will teach you the proper respect towards your superiors and yes, I am more superior an athlete than you, and I will prove it come Sunday at Blaze of Glory VII, and there is nothing that you can do to stop me from achieving greatness here in SCW. Everyone knows you have a few screws loose, seeing you have a habit of talking to objects for no reason. Unlike you, I would rather talk to people, even though I cannot stand them majority of the time, as they are stupid or lazy or ignorant of the world around them. I like to get to know my surroundings before doing anything, as it better prepares me for the tasks before me. Like travelling around Anaheim, I get to see the type of people whom reside here, that way I can get a sense of how they will react as fans, and therefore I can focus on kicking your ass even more by tuning them out.

Hitamashii laughs maniacally while looking very confident in himself as he obtains his ticket and goes to one of the many rollercoasters as the scene fades to black.



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Posted: March 08, 2019 10:58 pm


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Welcome to Vinnie King Live!!!

We are in a studio that looks like a cheap version of the Larry King Live show from CNN, Senor Vinnie is sitting at the table with a white blouse that is too tight and suspenders that are of Sponge Bob Square Pants. His glasses are just toy like glasses without actual glasses inside of it. He has his cactus sitting in front of him inside a seat for dolls on the table.

Senor Vinnie: Welcome to Vinnie King Live, I am your host Senor Vinnie King. And today I have the inspiration to the most under appreciated wrestler on the Sin City roster and the name of my guest is Cactus Pete. Welcome Pete, how are you doing??

Silence

Senor Vinnie King: Interesting, good to hear that you are enjoying your stay and managing your client.

Silence

Senor Vinnie King: Talking about your client, he is facing a man this coming Sunday that is quite arrogant, spoiled and clearly delusional by thinking that he is better than your client. How is your response to that??

Silence

Senor Vinnie King: Interesting choice of words Senor Pete, I hope you don’t mind me calling you that??

Silence

Senor Vinnie King: Gracias Senor Pete, so you are telling me that your client has got second guessing himself whether he should even show up this Sunday??

Silence

Senor Vinnie King: Gracias for complimenting my wardrobe style and also being a fan of Sponge Bob, but you are ignoring my question senor. I am the talk show host, I am supposed to ask the hard hitting questions. Not some cactus like you.

Silence

Senor Vinnie King: Now that is an interesting theory, you are telling me that your client has bad experiences when it comes down to sushi bars?? But what does this has got to do with his opponent???

Silence

Senor Vinnie King: Interesting, but I guess that’s how every promo goes isn’t it?? You build up your talent and then he just takes over isn’t it??? Over in a way that even I Senor Vinnie King has never seen before!! Rising up from the ashes of self-conscience of the people are being questioned itself. But I know that the world is too oblivious to see the real threat isn’t it??

Silence

Senor Vinnie King: Oh come on now Senor Pete, we all know that the true threat and true danger that is ahead of men like Hit…. Hit….. oh what the fuck.. that Japanese fellow who need to understand true danger.

Silence

Senor Vinnie King: Exactly, I am finally happy that you start to agree with me. Finally a guest with intelligence and modesty, something I have yet to find with brutality boring people like my opponent this week.

Senor Vinnie suddenly rips off the suspenders of Sponge Bob and throws it away. He stares at the camera and grins.

Senor Vinnie: Best leading role for the Academy Award of how to make your audience that you are what you truly are not?? And the award goes too!!!!! Senor Vinnie of course!!!!

He attempts to applaud for himself before turning towards the camera

Senor Vinnie: But seriously, I have an opponent that takes two promos time to realize I called him after a building of a movie that starred one of the greatest action heroes since the 80s… And he only is capable of telling me that I was funny?? Yup, I’m a freaking Gabriel Iglesias or sure!! But at least that I’m less Fluffy and way more dangerous to hit you with any type of move. Something that your speedy ass sure as hell isn’t capable to compensate what you are lacking senor. Don’t worry to understand what compensation means, but it’s a word that can be found on Google.com with other difficult words… words like Carrot, bug and even the important word that you fools seem to like to use a lot… Loser.

Are you kidding me Senor?? You even went to say that I speak to a cactus senor?? Gee, I do. And it bugs you and makes you feel that I am Loco right?? Oh Senor…, forgive me that I neglect to choose to be on a wrestling trainee that knows only what he sees and what his trainer has taught him. You know nothing outside your comfort zone.

He scratches his neck, clearly having issues due to the tight blouse.

Senor Vinnie: But it’s okay Senor, like each and every other opponent that I have faced as of late, you only know what you can see. And the problem of it all is that you have no clue of what kind of Matrix I can put your ass into before you are assimilated by the ugliest secret agency twin lookalike that wants to stop Nero from reaching it’s full potential that the Oracle told him that he could not be… And that puts a straight question mark inside your brain, knowing that the only thing that real life has taught you is that one plus one is two.

Nakatoma was a key role in a franchise that keeps on coming back on tv during the winter holidiays or whatever other moment that tv stations decide to air it on tv. Because it is still relevant to this very day!! Something that YOU or your teacher has not so far and will never achieve to begin with!! So go ahead and mumble something loco in the open air senor…, I am not impressed. More or less disappointed that only a senor like Fenris can put on a challenge for me. While others just want to stand in his shadow…, the shadow of a great champion and hoping for that one more match that you will have with el campione.., hoping for an error that will not come. Talking about the Blast from the Past, already looking beyond greener pastures. And why??? Because you have zero chances to ever… and I mean EVER beating me in a one on one confrontation. If last Climax Control was any indication… Well then senor Nero wannabe… I pity you…, I really do.. Adios senor!!!

With that the shot fades.



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